A Moment Changes Everything
by heavyinfinity
Summary: Bella struggles to survive on her own after Edward leaves her. A chance encounter with Jasper will alter life for both of them. BxJ. Rated M for language, adult situations, and eventual lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer. **This is just a daydream that wouldn't go away!

Chapter 1

**JPOV**

It was just after midnight when I entered the bar. I had been walking for several hours without paying attention to where I was going. I heard the pounding music and saw the staggering couples exiting, and decided it was as good a place as any to spend my time. In the last year and a half, I've found myself in this situation frequently. Since I left the Cullens, I've just been wandering from city to city, watching the nightlife from the sidelines as I wait for the minutes to pass.

I smelled the sweet scent of the humans that surrounded me, but it doesn't overwhelm me anymore. I've become so much stronger on my own, not relying on Alice's visions or Edward's mind reading to prevent me from harming anyone. I starting gradually spending more time in public places, getting myself used to the scent and the thirst. I still feel it of course, but I have excellent control now. I hunt frequently, and haven't even been tempted to slip since that horrible night in Forks.

Alice and I made it about two months after that night before she called it quits. She had a vision that destroyed her. I felt her agony about it for three days before she finally opened up to me and told me we were through. All she would tell me was that her vision showed us no longer a couple and she didn't want to waste any more time and effort on our lost cause. I argued with her for a month, yelling, begging and everything in between, before I finally gave up and walked away. I figured I'd just remove myself from the Cullen family so they could move on peacefully after the turmoil of the last few months. A Hale no more, I started my second life as Jasper Whitlock. I kept in touch with Emmett and Rose over the phone and with Esme by occasional e- mails. I had no desire to speak to Alice and I figured I would probably never hear from Edward again either.

So at 12:03 am I stepped into a crowded bar in the East Village of Manhattan. I ordered a beer I wouldn't drink and found the only unoccupied table, way at the back of the club. I sat and watched the humans drinking and dancing. The waitresses flitted around in skimpy outfits, bringing drinks to the tables and squeezing through the mass of humanity at the bar. I felt the various emotions around me. Intoxication was the most prevalent, followed by lust and jealousy. Every once in awhile a flash of joy from a dancing body would wash over me. Then I smelled it.

I shook my head like a human, refusing to believe it. It was impossible. It could not be what I thought I smelled. I left my table and threaded my way through the crowded room, ignoring the admiring glances being stolen at me as I moved. And there she was. Across the floor from me, leaning over the bar loading drinks onto her tray was Bella Swan. Her pale skin nearly glowed in the dim light of the club. Her hair was longer, styled in thick waves down her back. She lifted the tray over her head, turned around and navigated the crowded room easily, stopping at her tables to unload and take new orders as she went. She moved with a grace I would never have expected, not tripping once. Her hips swung gently to the music as she worked. I followed her movement across the room, desperate for a closer look. She seemed at home in her own skin, even in the revealing outfit she wore. Her shorts were micro short, allowing the bottom of her ass cheeks to peek out, covered by fishnet stockings that met her high heeled boots. Her top was long sleeved black lycra that covered her tightly until it ended just under her breasts, baring her midriff. Her body was toned, if a little on the thin side. She was polite to her customers, but not flirtatious, and I noticed her stepping away from several leering men. Her face was changed from the girl I had known. She seemed thinner, her cheek bones more angular. The biggest change by far was her eyes. They had been so full of expression in Forks. Edward said he couldn't read her mind, but that anyone could read her eyes. Now they seemed emptier. She made conversation with her customers and smiled politely, but the smiles never lit her eyes. I noticed dark shadows even under her heavy eye make-up and guessed she must be tired.

I found myself shaking my head again, surprising myself with the action. This was the last place on earth I would have expected to find Bella in. I thought of her frequently since we left Forks, wondering what repercussions my loss of control had on her life. I had imagined many different outcomes due to my failure that night, but never a situation like this. I guessed that she would be in college, studying literature at this point. I found myself unable to stop running scenarios that could have led her here through my mind. I noticed that as she worked she seemed anxious, frequently looking over her shoulder and scanning the room. I made sure to stay out of her line of sight. I wasn't sure how my appearance would be received, and the last thing I wanted was to bring any more difficulty into Bella's life.

I kept watching as the crowd finally began to thin. I was confused when I realized I was picking up no emotions from her at all. I had thought the crowd was blocking me, but apparently that wasn't it. I kept to the shadows and found the employee entrance after the bar closed down. I had no plan for my next action as I waited for Bella to appear again. I just wanted to see her again and feel out the situation more. As she exited the building, I noticed she was now wearing worn jeans and a pair of battered chucks. This made me smile at the memory of her low maintenance fashion sense. I frowned at the light jacket she wore as it was only in the 30's and very windy tonight. She hunched her shoulders against the cold, scanned the quiet street around her and started down the street toward the subway entrance a few blocks away. I followed her silently, noticing she was still nervous and continually looking around. I was surprised when she reached into her messenger bag and brought out a cigarette, lighting it and quickly taking a drag. I opened my senses, trying to get a feel for her emotions, but I still couldn't pick anything up.

Suddenly she stopped short. She hunched her shoulders again and stood perfectly still. I waited silently, wondering what she was doing. Suddenly I was hit with a fierce wave of emotions- first fear, then an amazing flow of rage. I forced myself to relax and let it pass around me, when suddenly it was gone, emptiness again. I heard her whisper "What are you waiting for, bitch?" I made no sound and felt no one else around us. Minutes passed and she finally squared her posture, looked up and took a drag from her cigarette. "Fuck you then, I'm walking. Come and get me if you want me" she muttered. She took a hesitant step and then fell into a confident stride down the empty street. I watched her disappear down the steps into the subway station.

Amazing. I found my questions about her multiplying. I made my way back to the apartment I had rented on the luxurious Upper East Side. I kept turning Bella's actions around in my head, looking for any reasonable explanation. I kept coming up empty. I was also perplexed at the odd emotions I had felt from her. Moving from feeling nothing to such an intensity of rage had left my head spinning. I had never experienced such a thing before.

I let myself into my penthouse apartment and went up the stairs to the roof access. I watched the skies gradually lighten and felt glad that it would be an overcast day. I decided I would hunt today, several days earlier than I had planned. I made a mental note to look for easier access to local wildlife locations. I planned on spending more time watching Bella and I would need to hunt often just to be safe. I grimaced to myself, thinking of the inconvenient drive out to Long Island to find a decent place to hunt for a deer in privacy. I felt an unfamiliar sense of anticipation when I thought of the coming day. If nothing else, today would be interesting.

I filled the day with hunting and the few chores that needed done. I don't make much mess, so there's not much to clean. I checked my financial reports, verifying that everything was as it should be. I took pride in the fact that my bank account hadn't suffered much from the loss of Alice's precognition. The hours passed somehow and finally it was time to head over to the bar to look for Bella. I threw on jeans, a black t -shirt and my favorite black boots. I threw on a leather jacket as I headed out the door and the evening was on.

**BPOV**

I sighed in relief as I changed into my jeans and sneakers. I could work it with the best of them nowadays, but it still feels like coming home when I put on my jeans. I loaded my work "outfit" into my shoulder bag and made my way to the back exit. "Night Dean!" I called to the bouncer. "Be safe out there Izz" he called back.

I opened the door and scanned the back alley for movement. As if I would be able to see her if she hid. I forced myself to step outside and was hit with the chill wind. I hunched my shoulders and set out. If nothing else the cold air would help me stay alert. I told myself to just start walking. I set off at a good pace toward the subway entrance. The commute home was the scariest part of my day, and it helped me to face it if I took it one segment at a time. So first objective, subway station. Not that it would provide safety, just a mile marker on my journey. The street was quiet and empty at this time of morning, which was a good thing. People out at this time of day were either in trouble like me or are trouble themselves.

Then I felt it. Someone was watching me. I could feel it with every cell in my body. I was momentarily paralyzed by my fear. I had been waiting for this moment for almost two years, but it still terrified me. Suddenly my fear morphed into absolute rage. I thought of Charlie, Renee and Phil. Their memories were the sole motivator behind my continued existence, and the thought that Victoria was going to catch me now just pissed me off. I swallowed and forced my anger down. I needed to focus. If this was the last moment of my life, I would at least be in control of my emotions. "What are you waiting for, bitch" I whispered. No answer. I could feel the eyes on me in the silence. Weird. She could easily have dispatched me by now. My anxiety grew again, and I struggled to keep focused. "Fuck you then, I'm walking. Come and get me if you want me." I forced myself to move my foot forward and took a small step. The next step came easier and I was on my way again. I waited for the impact I was sure was coming, but no movement came.

Step after step, my destination grew closer. I hurried down the steps of the subway station, feeling the relative warmth. I felt no further sense of being watched, but against a vampire my human senses were almost useless. My train came and I slipped on and took a seat. The car was empty, not unusual at this time. I allowed myself to breath for a moment, before forcing myself to become alert again. The subway ride was often the most challenging part of my commute, especially as tired as I was now. Falling asleep on the subway isn't safe for any woman, much less one being hunted by a psychopathic vampire. I forced myself to keep my eyes open, watching for any movement. The ride was uneventful and I got off at my stop. Up the steps into the frigid early morning air, I forced my tired feet to keep moving. Six blocks later, I reached my building.

I climbed the three flights of steps without paying attention, fighting my exhaustion. At this point I was so tired I didn't care if Victoria came or if a sicko attacked me. I unlocked the door and stepped into the apartment. Andy was alone, sprawled on the couch. The party must have been at someone else's place tonight. I walked over, checked his breathing and put a blanket over him. Our heat was sporadic at best and the apartment was quite cold. I smiled sadly at my roommate. Andy was my savior in many ways, although you wouldn't know it looking at him now. Passed out after a night of consuming any substance he could get, he was at least peaceful now. His dark hair hung in his gaunt face. I would have to make sure he ate tomorrow.

I remembered the Andy I met last year. His face had been fuller then, lighter and full of life. He had been the life of the NYU party scene, but the parties started to become never ending. He remained a good friend to me throughout. Always letting me stay over if I needed to crash, never asking any questions, even after he found out I wasn't a student. When he finally dropped out, he offered me a room in the apartment he found and I took him up on it. Living with a drug addict wasn't ideal, but we had four walls around us. Andy was a good guy, but he was also an addict and that meant he was unpredictable. I kept my cash on me, realizing he was only ever a fix away from stealing. I kept the apartment clean, but didn't spend much time there, uncomfortable when Andy and his friends would shoot up. I couldn't really keep food here since he and his friends would gorge themselves on whatever they found, and I couldn't afford to replace the pantry over and over.

I washed my face and changed into an old pair of pajamas. I pulled on an extra sweatshirt and two pairs of socks before wrapping up in the covers. My bedroom was freezing, but I knew it wouldn't keep me from sleep. I drifted off, done fighting the exhaustion. Sleep caught me, but there was no peace. Flashes of the forest as Edward walked away assaulted me. I saw Charlie lying on the floor. I saw the words describing Renee and Phil's "accident". Over and over, I lived the horror that had followed my life since Edward Cullen left me in the woods that day. I sat up gasping four hours later. I rolled over, hoping for more rest, but it was not to be. I sighed and forced myself out of bed into the cold room. Might as well get up and get something done.

I showered quickly, unsure of the hot water. I dressed in a pair of jeans and a long sleeved T and put on my Docs. I left my room and was surprised to see Andy was awake, watching Spongebob. He glanced up at me. "Bad night kid?"

"Yeah. Sorry if I woke you."

He smiled sadly at me. "It's all good Izz. Just wish you could get some rest."

"I'll rest when I'm dead, Andy" I said with a smirk. "Now get your butt into some clothes. We're going to get some breakfast."

"Alright Izz, but it's my treat today" he teased as he pulled a twenty out of this pocket. I was touched. Andy didn't keep cash on him long, too tempted by the pharmacy that was his life.

We grabbed a bagel and coffee at a bakery and warmed up. I appreciated that Andy didn't ask questions about my dreams and the screaming that accompanied them. I didn't tell him about my strange encounter last night. One more thing about me he couldn't know. It was bad enough that I was willing to live with him, potentially putting him in Victoria's line of fire. There was no way he could learn about my past and the supernatural creatures that were part of it. He was aware I had been through some bad shit, but he assumed it was just an abusive relationship or drugs, although I never touched them.

After eating it was back to our apartment. Andy crashed in his room while I straightened up. Then I gathered up our laundry and hauled the heavy bag to the Laundromat down the street. I fought fatigue, keeping my eyes peeled for flashes of white skin and red hair, but everything remained quiet. I moved to sit outside for a minute. I noticed that my hands were reaching for my cigarettes. I had started smoking a few months ago, hoping it would help to mask my scent amongst the other humans around me. I hated the smell myself, but like all things, I got used to it. I felt no craving for the nicotine yet, but my hands were starting to adapt to the habit. I guess lung cancer will have to get in line behind Victoria.

Waiting for the laundry left me with too much time to think and remember. I fell too easily into the past. I replayed the last time I saw Edward, still flinching as I heard him say I was easily forgotten. I wandered the woods for nearly eight hours after he left me, numb with shock. I staggered into my yard without noticing that my house was dark, even though Charlie should have been home. I went inside and immediately knew something was horribly wrong when I smelled the blood. I called for Charlie, creeping further inside when I got no answer. I found him in the kitchen, lying on the floor in a puddle of blood. He had been massacred and there was little left to recognize. I found a scrap of paper lying nearby and read the horrible words. "Sorry I missed you Bella. I'll catch up with you soon. Victoria."

I remembered falling to the floor, rocking back and forth as I sat next to the body of my father, who had deserved so much more than this. Why had Victoria come here looking for me, and why would she hurt Charlie? Clearly she hadn't fed off him, there was so much blood. In shock, I stood up and began to move, even though I had no idea what to do. She would clearly come back, so my first task was to get out of Forks. I quickly packed a backpack of clothes, hoping they made sense as I didn't look at what I picked up. I went to Charlie's room, fighting a sob as I smelled his cologne. I opened his cash box and took what was there. I caught my reflection as I passed his mirror. I resembled a ghost, pale skin and wide eyes. For a moment, I was tempted to sit down and wait for her to come back. I had lost the love of my life and my father over the last few hours. I felt unable to shoulder the weight, and began to shake. I forced myself to snap out of it. If I didn't want to become a ghost for real, I needed to pull it together. I owed it to Charlie to try to get away.

I snapped out of my memories into the present, quickly scanning the streets for any sign of danger. I was surprised I had allowed myself to get lost in the past. During the day, I was usually quite able to stay away from the memories. I guess the fear of the previous night had gotten to me more than I thought. I moved the laundry to the dryer, inserted the coins and began to pace to stay alert. An hour later I packed it all up and lugged it home to sort and put away. I had to be at work by seven, so that left me several hours to myself.

I chose my outfit for the evening, picking a black micro mini with a tiny white T to go with my ever present fishnets and high boots. I recalled how shy I had been about my body with a slight smile. I remembered the first time I had to dress this way as if were yesterday. After finding Charlie murdered I had used the cash on bus tickets south. My fear grew as the days passed without hearing from Renee. I had called several times from pay phones with no answer. Finally, I stopped at a small town and used the library for internet access to scan the news for the Florida area. There I found the headline detailing the tragic "car accident" involving a minor league baseball player and his new wife. The car had wrecked into a lake and it was unclear how long it had been there before it was discovered. There was no hint of foul play mentioned, but I knew Victoria was responsible. I swallowed my grief, aware that I could not break down in this public place. My hands shook and my breath hitched. For a reason unclear to me, this vicious vampire had made war on me, claiming my family as casualties. I couldn't imagine what this was vengeance for, as I was incapable of harming her in any way. I forced myself back to the bus stop and got on the next one heading south.

I got off in Las Vegas. I figured I should be safe during the day there at the very least. I wandered from dive bar to dive bar looking for someone willing to hire an underage waitress. I needed to earn some cash to buy a decent fake ID if I was going to hide successfully. Unfortunately, I was limited to the worst locations with owners who weren't afraid to break the law. I finally wandered into a cruddy strip club with a greasy haired owner who didn't ask questions. I was so lucky my feet led me there. It was a terrible location, but the girls who worked there had hearts of gold. They taught me how to walk without falling, even while carrying a drink tray. They helped me dress sexy to get better tips. They even taught me to dance when things were slow. They didn't press me for details about my past, a great thing about Vegas. I was struggling to keep a cheap motel room and put away for my fake ID so I decided I would try stripping to increase my earnings. I was just getting ready to take the stage for the first time when the club got busted. I ran for it and decided that I'd better move on to the next sunny city.

I spent the next year moving from city to city in the south. I stayed only a few months in any location. I got a half decent fake ID and became a pro at being a bar waitress. Sometimes I served drinks, sometimes I was a go-go dancer, and sometimes I tended the bar. I haven't had to strip so far, but at least it's an option I have. I stayed in cheap motels when I could afford it and crashed where I could when I didn't have the cash. I only made it a weekend in New Orleans, that place was crawling with vampires. I had no close calls with them, but I the glimpses of eerie white skin with sunglasses at night had me constantly panicking. I skipped over Florida, the memory of my mother to close to bear and headed up the East Coast until I made it to New York.

New York was a good hiding place. The weather didn't provide consistent day time protection, but I figured the sea of humanity crowded around me must be a decent camouflage. The only difficulty was how expensive everything was. I found work at the club quick enough, but I couldn't find anywhere that I could remotely afford to live. I started hanging out at the popular NYU party spots, crashing in trashed apartments after parties. I never actually drank or sampled the offered drugs, afraid to dull my senses. I made sure not to get close to anyone, knowing my life was on borrowed time. It just wouldn't be fair to get friendly with someone and put them in danger as well. Then I met Andy at a party. He seemed to know immediately that I was in big trouble. He didn't ask questions, but always offered me a place on his couch whenever we bumped into each other.

He called me out on not being a student, but didn't tell anyone else. I never asked him hard questions either. I guess we each just recognized another person in over their head. And here we were, living together for several months now. Andy hadn't been able to stay in school as his drug use increased. I had no idea how he had the money to keep his habit up, and I didn't ask. We had a good thing going. I didn't even feel too terribly guilty about the danger I brought him, since living with a drug addict was dangerous as well. We shared each other's risk I guess.

For the millionth time that day, I brought myself out of the past and started to get ready for work. Saturday nights were always busy and grueling, but usually resulted in good tips. I packed my work outfit in my messenger bag and got ready to leave. At least I would probably be so busy at work that I wouldn't be able to lose myself in bad memories. I set out into the cold early evening, scanning around me as I lit my cigarette. I put on my work persona as I walked, building layers of confidence and sex appeal that I really didn't feel. I needed to present the image of a normal waitress rather than a fugitive from a perfect killer living minute to minute. By the time I reached work, I was calm and serene, able to exchange pleasantries with the other staff as we got ready for the evening. The music came on and the first early birds started to wander in. The evening was on.

AN- Thank you for reading! This is my first attempt at fanfiction, and I'm quite excited to finally post it! Let me know what you think!

My deepest thanks go out to mynxi for being my beta. Not only is she a grammar magician, she's a cheerleader as well. Without her this would still be a blank page!


	2. Chapter 2

The **Twilight** characters are owned by Stephanie Meyer.

Mynxi beta'd it and made it much better! Thanks babe!

Thanks to butterflykiss69 for being the first to review it!

Chapter 2

BPOV

The crowd at the bar picked up steadily. I fell into my normal groove, making the rounds at my tables and picking up extra orders from the groups of people standing throughout the bar. There was a good vibe tonight. The dance floor was packed and the DJ was excellent. The good music made it easier to work as I almost danced table to table. I flashed a grin at Kristin, one of my favorites among the other waitresses. She winked at me and the next time we passed each other we turned around and danced for a second, grinding our asses against each other while balancing our trays. As expected, there were cheers from the men in the crowd. We laughed and split up, heading back to our respective tables. We had a lot of fun together, but we knew if we got too raunchy it would give the jerks in the crowd the "wrong impression."

I brought a tray of empties to the bar and placed them in the bin. I waved at Nicole, the bartender, pointing to bottles indicating what I needed refills on. She nodded her understanding and went to work getting the beers I needed. After she had them gathered, I ducked behind the bar and loaded up my tray. "It's kickin' in here tonight, huh Izz?" she quipped.

"Yeah, should be good tips, right?" I grinned back.

"Should be, but I hope the crowd doesn't get too rowdy," she said, frowning. Jon, the club's owner was an iffy character. He had only one bouncer for the entire club, and he was stationed near the door. It was a long walk through the crowd if there was trouble deeper inside and the waitresses knew we were pretty much on our own with "over friendly" customers. For the most part it wasn't a problem. We were good at identifying sketchy characters and watched each other's backs.

"Don't worry Nic, I'll protect you, baby," cracked Ian, the other bartender.

"Whatever, and don't call me baby!" she snapped back, rolling her eyes. Ian was crazy over Nicole and everyone knew it. She apparently didn't return his interest and kept him pretty much at arm's length. I'm sure it made for good entertainment for the lucky people sitting at the bar.

I smiled and backed away from the bar, ready to offload my booze. As I walked, I noticed a wave from one of my tables. I looked up and groaned to myself. Kevin, one of the regulars, and a group of his friends had found a spot in my section. I acknowledged the wave and began to mentally prepare myself for the aggravation I knew was coming. His whole crowd was touchy feely, but Kevin was worse than average and had recently begun to pester me for my phone number. This was despite the fact that his girlfriend also frequented the club and often with him. I noticed the girlfriend was absent tonight and he was openly leering at any female who caught his eye. I forced a polite smile on my face and approached the table. "What'll it be tonight, guys?" I asked.

"Three Buds, a Miller Lite, and you on my lap, Izzy!" he called out, looking smug.

"I'll grab your beers no problem, but I'm afraid I'm not on the menu tonight," I sighed, turning away.

"Come on, don't be that way Izzy, you know it's just a matter of time," he said, smirking. I just ignored him as I walked off to fill the order.

The night continued in the same vein, with the suggestive comments getting more and more frequent from their table as the drinks flowed. I was trying to stay polite, but my temper was wearing thin. Finally, after overhearing Kevin describe a fantasy of my mouth on his dick in a loud voice, I had had enough. "Ok, Kevin, that's it. You're way over the line and they don't pay me enough to listen to this shit all night. Here are the beers you ordered, you can get the rest on your own. I won't be taking care of this table any more while you're here." My words were clipped and I knew my eyes were blazing at him.

"Well, well, I wouldn't have pegged you as a wildcat, little Izz. I like a sassy girl. Come on, I just want to get to know you!" he called out as his friends egged him on. I felt movement behind my back, and noticed Kristin had come to stand behind me. "Oh, even better, a friend!" he shouted, to the cheers of his friends. "Is that why you play hard to get, Izzy? You're playin' on the girls' only team?" The tables around exploded in cat calls and whistles. We had an audience now. I reached around and moved Kris to my side and wrapped my arm around her.

"Know what Kev?" I yelled. "I've tried to let you down easy, I've tried to stay polite. But now we need to get some shit straight. You have zero chance with me. You exist in my personal 'No Fuck Zone.' You as a person are in violation of all three of my 'No Fuck' policies." I raised my hand as I counted them off on my fingers. "I don't fuck where I work, I don't fuck someone else's man, and I never, EVER fuck someone who thinks it's any of their business who I've fucked before."

There was a momentary silence from our captive audience, followed by an explosion of laughter and more cat calls. There were cheers for me and laughter at Kevin. His face was red with anger. He shoved his chair back, stood up and walked toward me. I quickly whispered to Kris to go find our bouncer Dean. I turned back to find Kevin in my face. The crowd surrounded us and I heard cheers for him now. "Teach her how a real man does it! Don't take that lip from a bitch!" I realized I couldn't count on any support from the customers. A bar fight is a good thing to walk away from if you don't have a stake in it, and most of these people would just watch to see how it played out. "Izzy, you are gonna regret talking to me that way!" Kevin began to roar. Suddenly, I felt a coolness behind my back. Kevin backed up slightly. His face changed, an unsure expression settling on it. Before I could turn to see what had happened behind me, I heard a quiet voice.

"Are you ok here, _Izzy_?" I instantly recognized the perfect smoothness and resonance of the words. A vampire was standing behind me. My heart stuttered and then began to pound. I forced myself to inhale, but my breaths were shallow. The panic threatened to swallow me, but I tamped it down with all my strength. I turned slowly around to see what face my death would wear. The vampire was tall, so at first I saw only a black shirt and jacket. I raised my eyes to his face and gasped in shock as I registered the amber colored eyes staring back at me.

My mind reeled in recognition. I whispered the first words that popped into my mind. "I'm great, Jasper. How the hell are you?"

JPOV

As I entered the bar, I noticed it was more crowded tonight. The crowd was rowdier and I felt strong emotions assail me as I searched for a quiet place to watch and wait. I knew Bella was here somewhere. Her scent was faint but present. I scanned the room and caught sight of her. She was laughing and dancing with another waitress, much to the enjoyment of the surrounding crowd. I winced as a huge wave of lust hit me. Bella genuinely seemed to be having fun in the moment, which was a big change from the Bella I had known. She seemed much more comfortable in her own skin than she had back in Forks, able to be the center of attention without feeling self conscious. I watched as she and her friend stopped their dance before the crowd got too rowdy and got back to work. I made my way to the crowded bar and purchased my obligatory beer, making sure to avoid Bella as she worked. I noticed where her section of tables seemed to be and found a spot to stand where I could watch her without being caught. She moved busily back and forth from table to table as the night when on.

I let my thoughts wander to the Bella I had known in Forks. My interaction with her had been limited by Edward's constant concern for her safety around me. The time we spent in Phoenix hiding from James had been less than informative about her, other than the fact that she worried intensely for the people she loved and would sacrifice herself to protect them. I experienced the affection Alice felt for her continually and Edward's obsessive love for her was ever present when he was around. However, almost all of my knowledge about her was second-hand from the others. Her shyness and my lack of control had prevented us from spending time with each other after we all returned to Forks. Then there was my complete failure at her birthday, when I would have ended her existence if I hadn't been stopped.

I recalled that night with perfect clarity. I remembered so clearly the instant the paper sliced her fragile finger. I heard her gasp as she recognized the danger. I froze and stopped inhaling, aware of the danger. Before I could move, Edward pushed her away from me, into the stupid glass table. The crash of the glass shattering and the sound of the shards slicing her flesh was deafening to my ears. I felt the rush of blood lust, my own and that of my family members. I was helpless to stop my lunge toward her, even as I prayed my family would stop me. Thankfully, they had prevented me from reaching her, but the damage was done. My weakness would cost her her happiness, as Edward became determined that she should live a life free of the risk he brought.

I shifted my thoughts back to the present as I watched her work. I could tell she was growing tired as the night wore on. She kept a pleasant expression, but I noticed her eyes tighten every time she interacted with a guy at one of her tables. I narrowed my focus onto their conversation and immediately understood her aggravation. He was clearly an asshole, harassing a busy waitress. I was surprised to feel anger was his predominant emotion, closely followed by his desire for Bella. I edged closer as I heard their exchanges become more and more aggressive and insulting. She seemed to be holding her own, but I noticed there was little back up available to her if things got rough. I had to restrain myself from laughing out loud as I overheard Bella's explanation of her "No Fuck Zone". My first thought was of Emmett and how he would have been rolling on the floor in laughter, to hear sweet Bella say such a thing. I broke out of the thought as I felt the wave of fury coming from the asshole as he stood up and moved toward Bella. Shit, time to make my presence known.

I pressed myself quickly through the crowd, being careful to control my movements to avoid injuring the humans I was pushing aside. I moved into place behind Bella and watched the asshole's face change as he registered my presence. I felt his confusion and noticed as his anger became tempered by some fear of me. "Are you OK here, _Izzy?_" I asked, emphasizing the name she was apparently using. I kept eye contact with him, but was completely aware of Bella's reaction to me. She still faced away, but her heart rate was furious and her breathing was ragged. I felt a swift rush of terror from her, but it disappeared almost instantly into nothing. She slowly turned around to face me as her heart continued to pound in her chest. She slowly raised her eyes, and I finally looked away from the asshole as her gaze met mine. Her brown eyes dilated slightly in surprise as she recognized me. Her breathing remained fast and erratic as she gasped out, "I'm great Jasper. How the Hell are you?"

I bit back laughter again, but couldn't stop a smile from crossing my lips. My humor was short lived, as I noticed her breathing hitch. She staggered slightly and I quickly raised my hands to her arms to steady her. The instant my hands touched her flesh, we both froze. It was more than the shock of the temperature difference between us. It was as if the room around us evaporated and we were the only two people there. A complete sense of peace fell over me and I noticed an absence of my thirst for human blood for the first time since I had adopted the Cullen family's lifestyle. I felt Bella's heart rate and breathing even out as she regained her balance. We stared at each other wordlessly for a moment before I released her, never losing eye contact. "Interesting," I said aloud, wondering if she had felt anything at my touch.

"Always," she replied enigmatically, her heart rate increasing again.

I noticed the approach of the bouncer before she did. "What's the problem, Izz?" he bellowed, glaring at my position near her. I kept my expression neutral, but I was inwardly grimacing as he clearly misunderstood the situation.

"It's all good now, Dean," Bella said quickly. "That piece of shit over there was giving me a hard time, but he's settled down now."

"How 'bout blondie there behind you, Izz? He cool?" I felt glad that the bouncer was double checking the situation before leaving Bella on her own.

"Yeah, he's cool Dean. He's an old friend." She smirked slightly as she said friend. I winced, wishing I could feel her emotions. I noticed that her heart was racing again and wondered what she was thinking. I had never wished any harm on Bella Swan, but in that one moment on her birthday I had been far from a friend to her.

"Ok then Izz, if you say it's good, it's good," the bouncer replied as he turned to leave. Bella turned to her waitress friend.

"Kris, I'm gonna get a smoke, catch my breath. Can you watch my tables a minute?" "Sure thing, take your time," the waitress replied as she turned in relief to go back to work. Bella's eyes met mine again and she raised an eyebrow.

"Can I keep you company?" I asked softly.

"What if I say no?" she whispered.

"Then I walk out of here and you never have to see me again" I replied quietly but firmly. "Just say the word and I'll go." She raised an eyebrow as if she doubted the truth of my statement. I opened my mouth to try to convince her, but she began talking first.

"Ok then, you can meet me in the back. I have to go get my jacket." I nodded as she slipped toward the back of the club.

I turned to make my way to the exit and noticed the asshole and his friends remained at their table. I approached them slowly, projecting menace as I walked. "Alright dumbass, this is your one and only warning. If you EVER give that girl a hard time again, this face is the last thing you will _ever _see." My tone was cold and flat, leaving no room for questions. Their eyes widened as they all nodded their heads. Pussies! Pissing themselves at just one threat. I made my way through the crowd to the exit and around to the back door.

Bella was already there, sitting on the steps, arms wrapped around her knees. She had her head up scanning the alley and she saw me as I walked toward her. She was trembling slightly and I felt a whisper of her fear. I stopped about ten feet away from her. "Bella?" I said softly. "Can I come closer, or do you want me to leave?" Her eyes widened again and she raised her head slightly.

"Who are you here with, Jasper?" she whispered, knowing I would hear her.

I sighed softly as I understood her question. "No, Bella, I'm here alone. The others aren't around."

"Good," she whispered again. I listened to her heart rate calm and wondered why she would be afraid to see the others.

"Can we talk, Bella?" I asked softly.

"I have to go back to work now, Jasper. If you want, you can meet me after closing at three," she suggested.

"Ok, then, I'll be waiting here for you." She nodded as she stood and made her way back into the bar.

"Bella, if you need me in there, just say my name. I'll hear it."

She looked at me flatly. "I'll be fine."

I made my way back inside, not arguing when I had to pay the cover again. I walked past the bouncer and he met my eyes. I was surprised, since most humans instinctively avoided close contact. "Izzy OK?" I nodded at him. "Good, she better stay that way." I smiled slightly and kept walking. His emotions toward her were protective and affectionate. He had good intentions, but his threat was empty. If I meant her harm, he would be powerless to help her. I checked my watch, noting that I had two hours to kill until closing. I found a table as people gradually started to leave.

I kept a close watch on Bella, but she didn't seem to have any more trouble from her customers. I could see her growing more tired and dark shadows were forming under her eyes. The crowd continued to thin and finally last call was announced. The last stragglers finished up and wandered out. Bella was carrying a tray of empties to the bar. I walked over to her. "I'll wait for you in back again?" She met my gaze and nodded.

"I have to wipe my tables down and then get changed. I'll be about twenty more minutes," she said apologetically.

"I'll be waiting" I told her.

Fifteen minutes later I waited by the back entrance as the door opened and Bella stepped out. I noted that she was wearing jeans and sneakers again. I watched Bella hesitate at the door and scan the area before stepping out. "Who are you watching for, Bella? Did that shit head give you more trouble?" The tiniest trace of a smile crossed her lips.

"No, the shit head is the least of my worries. Vampires, Jasper. I'm watching out for big, bad vampires."

At first I thought she was joking, but the expression on her face told me she was serious. "Bella, the chances of a random vampire attacking you are pretty small, especially in a city with so many people around. You don't smell as tempting to all of us as you do to Edward. I imagine it's hard to stop worrying about something like that, but you should be pretty safe."

Her face hardened a little. "Thanks for the vampire survival advice, Jasper. FYI, it's not the 'random' vampires I worry about. It's the ones who are looking specifically for me." I was shocked by her statement.

"Looking for you?" I said incredulously. "Bella, will you please tell me what's going on? What makes you think vampires are looking for you?" Her shoulders slumped and she broke my gaze.

"It's a real long story, Jasper," she murmured.

"I've got nothing but time, Bella." I watched her debate with herself and began to worry she would tell me to leave her alone. "I meant what I said. If you tell me go, I won't bother you again. But Bella, if you're in trouble, especially vampire trouble, I want to help." I watched a single tear fall from her right eye and felt a ripple of despair from her before it dissolved away.

"Ok then. You can walk me home. We can talk there."

With that, she turned and walked down the alley toward the subway station she had used the night before. I quickly caught up to walk beside her. Her pace was fast for a human and her eyes constantly searched the dark streets. I tried to reassure her, "There are no vampires around here, Bella. Not for several miles at least. I haven't bumped into many since I got here. If someone gets closer, I'll know it."

"Thanks, Jasper, but it's a habit now," she replied. I sighed, wondering how long she had been living with this fear. We reached the subway station and waited for the 1 train. When it came, we entered an empty car.

"Where do you get off?" I asked.

"145th street," she answered. I shuddered to think of her on such a long subway ride by herself at night. We took seats across from each other and rode in silence. Bella's face was so drawn and tired. I could almost feel her forcing herself to stay alert.

"Bella, I promise, if someone comes, I'll tell you. Human, vampire, swamp monster, no one's going to sneak up on me." She didn't smile at my weak monster joke, but regarded me closely with her tired brown eyes. I watched another internal debate in those eyes before she closed them and leaned against the window of the subway car.

"Thanks," she whispered. Her body curled around her shoulder bag and her breathing gradually slowed. She didn't fall into sleep, but at least she could mentally rest. She opened her eyes as we reached her stop, confirming that she had been awake. We exited the train and made our way up the stairs at the station exit. "My building is three blocks up and two over to the left," she told me. I nodded my head and we continued on. We walked in silence, and I followed as she led me toward a nondescript apartment building.

The neighborhood appeared borderline dangerous and again I shuddered at the thought of Bella walking here at this time of night by herself. "I know the places to avoid, Jasper." She seemed to read my mind. I made no reply, not wanting to piss her off. We entered the building and she led me up the stairs to the 5th floor. "Sorry, the elevator gets stuck" she apologized.

"I lived before they existed, Bella. I'll make it up the stairs fine." She twitched her lips slightly upward and unlocked the door to her apartment.

The apartment was small and dilapidated, but very clean. There was little furniture and no carpeting. I smelled the scent of the sleeping human on the couch in the living area. I noticed his blood smelled of strong narcotics and narrowed my eyes. Bella walked over to him and gently moved a blanket over his shoulders. Her expression was sad and gentle. I wondered about the nature of their relationship and felt frustrated at my inability to read her emotions. Hopefully I would get a better read on the situation when he awoke. She saw my intense look at the sleeping man. "Don't judge him, Jasper. He's a decent person, even now."

"Bella, I don't care what he does to himself. I just don't like the thought of you living with a drug addict. Addicts are unpredictable and you don't know what he might be capable of."

She drew a breath. I mentally winced, fearing I had crossed a line with her. I prepared for her outrage, but instead she just whispered, "I know. My room is this way."

She led me down the short hallway to a tiny room with cinderblock walls, filled mostly by the full sized bed. There was a small closet and a tiny dresser. There were piles of clothes folded neatly on the floor, and I was struck again by how clean the space was. Bella grabbed a couple of toiletries and some clothes and turned to leave the room. "I'm going to go wash this shit off my face and change," she said as she headed toward the bathroom.

When she returned a few minutes later, I was struck by the sight of her face free from the heavy makeup she worked in. Her skin was still porcelain fair, but her cheekbones were more prominent. Dark circles under her eyes spoke of long fatigue. She was dressed in flannel pants and at least two shirts. I frowned as I noticed how cold the apartment felt and realized she must be freezing. I forced myself to look away, fearful of being caught staring. She put away her soaps and turned toward me. "There's not much in the way of seating, I'm afraid. There's the bed or the floor."

"I'll be fine on the floor, Bella," I replied.

I locked gazes with her and was struck yet again by how tired she seemed. I was on fire with the need to know what was wrong and how she had ended up here, but I knew she needed rest desperately. I forced a gentle expression onto my face. "Bella, you have no idea how hard it is for me to say this, but I think you should get some sleep before we talk." She blinked in surprise and then gave a small smile of appreciation as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I think that's a really good idea, Jasper. Like I said, it's a long story. I'm afraid you'll be very bored though. We don't have a TV, and I only have a few books. You're welcome to what I have, though." She indicated a small pile of worn looking titles. I wasn't surprised to find a few Austen novels in the pile, but a different title caught my eye. It was **A Brief History of Time** by Stephen Hawking. It was a small but eclectic selection of reading material, from Brit Lit to physics. I picked up the Hawking book since I hadn't read it previously.

"This is more than fine Bella. Do you want me to read in the living room while you sleep?" I couldn't imagine she would be comfortable with me in here while she slept, considering the last time we saw each other I tried to kill her.

"I think you'd better stay in here Jasper, unless you don't think you can handle the close quarters. Andy would be startled if he woke up while you were out there and would start asking a million questions. You don't look like you're having a hard time being in the same room with me right now. If you get 'thirsty' you can step outside or something," she suggested wryly.

I stepped slowly closer and knelt down so we were at eye level. "I give you my word, Bella. You are in no danger from me. I hunted today and while you do smell sweet, I'm completely in control. I know you have a really good reason not to trust me, but I promise that you can." She looked into my eyes and I was pleased to see no signs of fear on her face.

"I trust you, Jasper," was all she said, but she spoke it firmly. As if that settled it for her, she scooted back, laid herself down, and began piling on a mountain of blankets. I couldn't help myself as I watched her struggle.

"Need tucked in there, Bella?" Her face appeared from behind a blanket and I was shocked as she stuck her tongue out at me.

"No thanks, I've got it under control. Now shut up and let me get my beauty sleep." I smiled to myself and situated myself on the floor against the wall. I turned off the light, not needing it to read. I was pleased when I noticed Bella's breathing fall into a peaceful pattern almost immediately. I wasn't used to being trusted and it felt good that she had placed enough faith in me to fall asleep so easily. I opened the book and began to pass the time, hoping she would sleep well and wake soon, so I could hear her story.

Two hours later I had finished the physics book and moved onto Austen by default. I had enjoyed the Hawking book more than I expected. It had been awhile since I studied any physics and I was struck by the blurring of the lines between science and philosophy as man sought to learn ever more. I was suddenly distracted by an abrupt increase in Bella's heart rate. Her breaths became shallow and ragged and she began to moan. I felt an intense wave of fear hit me and grow stronger. Whatever was allowing her to block my power must be less effective while she slept. "No, no. Charlie, No!"

I could hardly see her under the blankets, but obviously she was having a nightmare. I got slowly up and moved toward her, unsure of what to do. I was unsure how she would react if I tried to calm her with my power. "Bella, wake up, you're having a bad dream," I said firmly. She lurched quickly into a sitting position, eyes wide open, not seeing. "Bella, it's ok. I'm here and you're safe." She seemed to notice me then and I tentatively reached out my hand to hers. As soon as our skin touched the same sense of peace flooded over me. I watched as her face relaxed as well. She nodded at me once and lay back down, but didn't release my hand. I settled the covers back around her with my other arm and eased myself onto the floor beside her bed. Her hand felt so soft and warm in mine. I closed my eyes and lost myself in the unfamiliar sensation of warmth and peace that apparently came from touching Bella. At least this would be a pleasant way to wait for her to wake up.

Thanks for reading, and thanks to all those who reviewed, alerted and added it to their favorites! Thanks again to the amazing mynxi who is the Master Yoda of words! (Sorry mynxi, I had to throw out the Star Wars just one more time! I'm done now, I promise!)


	3. Chapter 3

**I heart my beta, Mynxi. She puts up with me, airballs and all!**

**The Twilight characters are owned by Stephanie Meyer.**

Chapter Three

**BPOV**

I woke slowly, feeling unusually rested and peaceful. I kept my eyes closed while I relished the sensation of not waking up in fear. I was so cozy under the blankets that I was reluctant to move. I noticed my right hand was cold and started to pull it back under the covers. I felt resistance to the movement and with a jolt I was wide awake. I sat straight up and looked down to see my hand clasped firmly in Jasper's. He was on the floor next to the bed, looking up at me.

I couldn't read the expression on his face. I remembered my nightmare and realized he must have held my hand while I slept. I was surprised at how calm I felt about the fact that he was in my apartment and wondered if Jasper was using his power to relax me. "Are you doing that?" I asked softly. He shook his head slowly, but I could tell he knew what I was referring to. "Do you feel it too?" I whispered. He nodded affirmatively.

I opened my mouth to chide him for his reticence, but before I could form the words, he spoke.

"I'm not projecting anything to you, Bella. I can't read your emotions now for some reason," he said in a puzzled tone. "Every once in a while I get a flash of what you're feeling, but then it disappears. I didn't want to try to send anything to you since I didn't know how you would react. But every time we touch, I feel that…" He trailed off, apparently unable to find the words to describe what we were feeling. It was peace, comfort, and calm all wrapped together, but something more as well. Neither of us moved as we looked down at our hands and then back into each other's eyes.

The silence grew in intensity and I finally had to break the moment as I began to feel overwhelmed. "Um, sorry but I need to pee," I mumbled as I slipped my fingers from his. He didn't try to stop me, but I heard a tiny sigh as our hands parted. I felt an instantaneous rush of anxiety as we broke contact. I quickly made my way to the bathroom as I struggled to keep my emotions in check. I forced myself to begin my morning routine, and by the time I rinsed my face and brushed my teeth I felt under control again.

I was intensely nervous about telling Jasper about the past two years of my life, but at least I wasn't falling apart. I was surprised that he couldn't feel my emotions now. He had been able to manipulate my anxiety in Phoenix without difficulty, and I wondered what had caused the change.

He was standing at the window as I entered my room, looking out into the early morning sky. I looked at the clock, surprised to find it was only 6:00. I felt as if I had slept much longer. He turned to look at me and I could almost see the questions in his eyes. "Will you tell me, Bella?" I sat back on the bed, leaning against the wall. I closed my eyes for a moment before I nodded my agreement. When I opened them, he was sitting on the floor beside the bed at an angle from me.

I struggled to organize my thoughts. I had never spoken about my past to anyone. Not a single person knew what I was about to tell Jasper. I hadn't let anyone become too close to me so I wouldn't have to answer questions about my history. Sharing my past would increase the danger to the few people I allowed in my life. Even Andy didn't know the details. I had just told him my family was dead and I had no friends to stay with. He hadn't asked for any more information after that, respecting my obvious desire for privacy.

Jasper raised his eyebrows, pointedly waiting for me to speak. I looked down at my hands and picked up a pillow to hold. "OK, so here it goes…" as I began to tell him what had happened. I told him about my last moments with Edward and wandering in the forest. I told him about finding Charlie when I returned home. He gasped when I told him of Victoria's note. I kept my eyes on my hands, stroking the pillow back and forth. I told him of the library where I found out about Renee and Phil. I described my journey to Las Vegas and my short time there.

The words came smoothly, almost automatically. My descriptions were clinical and I made no mention of my battle with grief and loneliness, choosing to keep my emotions private since he couldn't feel them. I did tell him how scared I always was, how certain I was that Victoria would find me. I allowed pride to enter my voice as I described the precautions I took to stay "off the grid" of public record. I knew I was a missing person and that the authorities were looking for me. I only worked for cash and gave Andy the rent directly. I had no bank account and no credit cards. So far my false identity of _Isabel Sanders_ had kept me hidden. I figured if the police couldn't find me easily, Victoria would have a hard time too.

He remained silent as I spoke, allowing me to tell my story without interruptions. I didn't watch his face, afraid I would lose my tenuous grip on my emotions if I met his eyes. I briefly mentioned the cities I had lived in as I made my way across the country. My voice slowed as I described my arrival in New York. My anxiety increased as I struggled with what I was about to tell him.

"Bella?" he asked softly. It was the first he had spoken since I began talking. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

I finally peeked at his face. His eyes were sad and full of the questions he hadn't asked yet. "This is hard, Jasper," I sighed. "I've never told anybody any of this stuff. I've had to make hard decisions and I've had to do some things I'm not proud of. I live with it, because I have to. But I'll be honest, I won't handle it well if you can't take what I'm about to tell you. So if you can't handle hearing bad shit, I need to know now so I can stop talking and you can walk out." I looked away as I finished but he moved onto his knees directly in front of me. I waited for his words, still unable to look at him.

"Bella, I know what it is to make hard choices to survive. I know what it is to live with the memories of those choices while you go about the daily business of surviving. Whatever you're about to tell me you've done, I can take it. It won't make me think less of you and it won't make me want to walk away."

I sighed, knowing there was no way he could be so sure of that until he knew the whole story. I debated silently with myself for a moment before deciding to tell him. Even if my revelation caused him to leave, I was no worse off than I had been yesterday. It felt good to talk about what I had been through, to acknowledge how impossible my life had been. I raised my head up and began again.

"I made it here to Manhattan last year. It took all my money to get here, so I had nothing to live on at first. I was looking for work, but it's hard to find someone who pays cash and doesn't ask too many questions." I realized how quickly I was speaking and forced myself to breathe and slow down. "I didn't have anywhere to stay. I checked out a couple of shelters, but they were really scary, lots of drugs and crazy people. I started hanging out down near NYU, reading help wanted signs, still looking for work. People thought I was a student, and I started getting invited to parties. I was too scared to drink or try anything else, but I would just crash with the other people who passed out afterwards." I felt my heart rate increasing as I remembered how difficult that time had been. "I never knew if I would find a place to stay or if I would be forced to wander from bench to bench all night, watching for cops and crazies."

I looked away from Jasper and tried to prepare myself for what I had to say. "The summer wasn't too bad, but things got tough as it got colder. It was getting hard to find a place to stay as people began to recognize my face. I didn't want to wear out my welcome or attract too much attention. I went to a party at a place I'd never been to before, hoping I could sneak a few hours sleep after it was over. But the guy who owned the place cleared everyone out when the party ended. I was getting ready to go, but he stopped me." I cut off again, struggling to keep control of myself. I avoided thinking about these memories at all costs, and talking about them aloud was almost more than I could bear.

Jasper waited quietly for me to continue. "He asked if I needed a place to stay. I told him that would be great, that I really appreciated it since I was still looking for a place. Then he explained that I could only stay if I was going to 'be useful.' I knew exactly what he meant, Jasper. If I would have sex with him, I could stay the night. Otherwise, I had to go out into the cold." I grabbed the pillow I was holding to my body, holding it tightly. I swallowed hard and forced myself to finish.

"So I did it. We fucked and I had a place to stay that night. I got my gig at the bar the next day, but I didn't get paid until the end of the week. I stayed a few nights in a women's only shelter, but they had a three day limit so I had to leave. It was so cold, and I had nowhere to go, so I went back that Friday night. He offered again, and I would have done it again, even though it made me sick. But then I met Andy, and he offered to let me crash with him that night. So here we are."

I felt crushed with shame, wishing I could change my past. A single tear slipped free and fell down my cheeks. "I can't regret surviving, because I owe it to my mom and dad and Phil to fight, but it's a hard thing to live with." I forced a weak smile on my face and dragged my eyes to meet his. "So now you know what I am. The person you're sitting in front of is a whore," I whispered. I held my pillow tight and waited for his reaction. I was so afraid to see the pity and disgust I was sure he was feeling. He leaned forward over the bed and I made myself look up at him. His eyes were sad, but they held no condemnation.

"You're no whore, Bella Swan." His words were quiet but full of conviction. "I don't ever want to hear you say that again. You are _not_ a whore." I slowly raised my head to look at his face. I met his amber eyes, so full of compassion, and the thin control I had over my emotions broke. I buried my face in the pillow I was holding and sobbed. I cried every tear I had held back since leaving Forks. I rocked myself back and forth and let the sobs take over, unaware of Jasper's movement until I felt his cool hands on my arms. "I'm going to hold you, Bella. Please let me hold you."

**JPOV **

I watched the darkness in Bella's room grow lighter as I held her hand and waited for her to wake. She was sleeping peacefully, and I felt grateful that I could at least give her that comfort. I felt her begin to stir and waited for her to speak. I felt her move her hand and she gasped when she felt it still entwined in mine. She sat up in shock and met my eyes. She questioned me about the peace we felt. Her eyes showed surprise as I mentioned my inability to feel her emotions. We fell into silence and I watched as her eyes clouded with an unknown discomfort. She broke our contact, excusing herself to the bathroom. I sighed at the loss of the peace her touch had brought me and stood up to look out the window. She spent awhile in the bathroom and I began to worry she would decide to ask me to leave. I heard her approaching the room and smelled her sweet scent as she reentered.

I turned to look at her, certain I would see rejection in her eyes. She didn't speak, so I decided to ask her to start her story. "Will you tell me, Bella?" She sat back on her bed and I was still unsure of her answer. I moved to kneel by the bed, holding my breath nervously.

I watched her internal struggle and prepared to be disappointed, when finally, she began. "OK, so here goes…" So I sat and listened as she gave me her story. I was shocked by the details of Edward's departure. He left her in the woods? This was disaster magnet Bella we were talking about. He had been so adamant about leaving her for her safety, but I failed to see how walking away from her in the forest was good for her well being!

I was horrified when she spoke of Charlie's murder and the fact that Victoria was his killer. The only motivation I could guess at was revenge for James' death. I was dismayed that I hadn't picked up on the level of her devotion to James. It seemed I had failed Bella in yet another way, although I was slightly consoled by the fact that Edward hadn't picked up on the connection between James and Victoria either. I knew he would never have left Bella unprotected if he thought Victoria would want retribution.

I listened in silence as she told me of her journey south and about finding out that her mother and stepfather were dead as well. I was swamped by my grief for her losses and her pain. I regretted the three innocent lives of her family taken in revenge for the death of James. I felt no emotion from her and noticed that her voice was flat, almost robotic. The urge to comfort her physically was almost overwhelming, but I was afraid she wouldn't welcome my touch.

She spoke of her travels and her struggles to survive. Her voice became more animated as she described how she stayed hidden. I marveled at her success, given how few resources she had. No diploma, no money, no friends, yet here she was alive and well. She was surviving poverty and evading a stalker vampire simultaneously. I was in awe of the strength of spirit it must have taken for her to keep going.

I noticed her growing more distressed as she went on. Her heart rate increased and she broke eye contact as she began to rock back and forth. I could tell that she was hesitant to tell me what happened next. I braced myself, knowing it must be pretty bad for her to be so upset. I hated to put her through more pain, but I knew that talking about it might help her come to peace with whatever it was. I

told her she could tell me about it, that I could take it. I winced as she explained she was afraid of my reaction to what she had to say. I moved directly in front of her and forced myself to remain calm. I had to be able to give her the reassurance she needed to continue. So I explained that I knew all about making hard choices and having to live with the aftermath. I was still hesitant to send her my emotions, so I tried to tell her with my words and my eyes that she wouldn't scare me away with what she told me next.

I watched her debate internally about whether to go on and was relieved when she met my gaze again. Again I listened in silence as she described her struggle to find shelter. My cold heart broke when she told me what she had been forced to do. Listening to her tell me about fucking a guy so she wouldn't freeze to death was almost more than I could take, but I forced myself to remain in control. I could see her shame and felt rage at the miserable excuse for a man that had taken advantage of her situation. She told of meeting Andy and my opinion of him improved, as she explained that he had offered her a place to stay. I hated that she was dependent on a drug addict, but clearly he was a decent person when sober.

I noticed a tear sliding down Bella's face and listened as she named herself a whore. My heart sank as I struggled for the right words to convince her that she was nothing close to a prostitute. I leaned forward and filled my words with meaning. "You're no whore, Bella Swan. I don't ever want to hear you say that again. You are _not_ a whore." She raised her eyes to meet mine and I hope she saw my honesty reflected in them.

She looked at me a moment and then I watched in horror as she literally dissolved into tears. Her sobs were quiet but intense, and at last I felt the waves of emotions she had been holding back. Sorrow, anger, fear, and shame all battled for dominance. She clung to the pillow for dear life but seemed to draw no comfort from it. I had no idea what to do to help her. I was unsure of how she would receive comfort from me, but as I watched her sob I couldn't stop myself from trying. I reached out and gently grabbed her arms. "I'm going to hold you Bella. Please let me hold you."

I waited, knowing I would let her go if she resisted. She didn't speak, but made no move to push me away, so I gathered her into my arms and held her. I wrapped a blanket around her so she wouldn't become chilled by my body and just held her. I noticed the intensity of her emotions had decreased upon our contact, but that amazing sense of peace we shared earlier was absent. I tucked her head under my chin and began to rock her gently. I felt her begin to relax into my arms. She curled her body into my chest and my shirt was damp with her tears.

I began to talk softly to her. "I'm so proud of you, Bella. You've been so strong, so brave. You did what you had to do to survive." Her sobs quieted as she listened. "You're sitting here alive even though a vampire is trying to kill you. That's something to be proud of. Your family would be so proud, knowing you're fighting so hard to live. They'd be so proud to know you're still a kind person who cares about others, even after everything you've been through."

Her heart rate began to calm and I could feel her reigning in her emotions. It was almost a physical sensation to me as she got herself under control. I felt her begin to stiffen slightly in my arms and I loosened my hold so she could move away. As she broke contact, I felt her emotions sharpen briefly before they snapped quickly away again. I noticed she twitched as it happened, leading me to believe she felt it as well. She eased herself slightly away from me so that we were sitting side by side, but not touching.

"I've never talked about it to anyone before," she whispered. "It's hard, but it feels kind of good to have it out there." I nodded my head in understanding. She looked at her hands for a moment before meeting my eyes again. "Tell me it gets better," she said desperately. I couldn't stop myself from reaching out and moving a lock of her hair behind her ear. She stiffened and I moved my hand away.

"It gets better, Bella. After awhile, you'll sort of realize that you don't think about it as much. I don't think the regret ever goes away entirely, but it gets less heavy as time goes on."

Bella nodded and looked down again. I heard her heart rate pick up again before she quickly looked up at me. "Jasper, will Alice come now?" she blurted out. My heart sank as I realized I would have to tell her something she didn't want to hear. "She'll see that you found me, and she'll come right?" Bella went on, looking excited. Her eyes narrowed as she saw my expression. "You don't think she'll want to see me?" she said slowly.

"No, Bella, it's not that…" I started to say before she interrupted me.

"I was so sure she would miss me like I miss her," Bella whispered. "I guess she didn't really care about me either."

I was confused by her last comment, and shook my head negatively. I knew Alice had felt genuine affection for Bella and that she hadn't wanted to leave her. I wondered if Alice had truly followed Edward's orders not to watch for Bella. I desperately hoped that was the case. If not, she had just allowed Bella to suffer alone, and I didn't want to believe that about the woman who had been my partner for decades.

I snapped out of my thoughts as Bella gasped. "She's OK, isn't she, Jasper?" she asked as she grabbed my arm. I felt her panic over Alice being in danger before the peace took us over. I put my hand over hers on my arm, and shook my head again.

"Bella, she's fine as far as I know." I felt her relax at my words, but her expression was confused. I knew Bella would be upset by what I had to tell her and I struggled to prevent my own sadness from showing. "Bella, I haven't seen her since about a month after we left Forks." She gasped and clutched my arm tighter. "She left me," I blurted out awkwardly. "Well, I guess I was the one who actually left, but she ended our relationship," I clarified.

Bella was absolutely still, but I could feel how rapidly the blood was pulsing through her arteries. "She did _WHAT?_" Bella ground out. I struggled for the right words to explain what had happened.

"She had a vision that really upset her. I'd never seen her so devastated, but she just kept shutting me out. She finally told me we weren't going to be together anymore, and that was it," I said quickly, trying to sound calm, but failing miserably.

She opened her mouth to speak, but I was distracted by a sound from the living area. I tuned my senses outward and realized Andy had awakened and heard our voices. I groaned internally as I realized our conversation would be interrupted. I had many questions I wanted to ask Bella and I was sure she would want answers from me as well. "Your roommate's up and worried about you, Bella," I told her.

"Shit," she sighed, moving to get up from the bed. I heard his steps approach her door and felt a wave of the anxiety he was feeling for her. He knocked before she could reach the door.

"Izzy," he called. "Are you OK? I heard you talking. Is someone with you?" I felt his surprise and confusion at the situation and guessed that Bella wasn't in the habit of having company.

"I'm fine, Andy," she said as she opened the door slightly. "I ran into an old friend last night and invited him over so we could catch up. Give me a minute to get put together and I'll introduce you."

He didn't speak, but must have nodded his agreement since she shut the door and turned around. I felt his concern for her as well as intense suspicion at my presence. Bella grabbed a hairbrush and pulled it quickly through her hair several times. She looked nervous and her heart rate was rapid again.

"Andy's going to be worried about me. Take it easy on him, he's a good guy," she blurted out quickly.

"I'm glad he's looking out for you, Bella," I said sincerely. I wasn't thrilled about being interrupted, but it was good to know her roommate cared enough to check on her.

I followed her into the living room, where her roommate was sprawled on the couch. He was very thin and his skin was an unhealthy pale color. His hair was dark and hung into his face. I noticed his eyes were clear and alert as he looked at me long and hard. Despite his substance abuse problem, he appeared to be very observant. I mentally prepared myself for the awkwardness Bella believed would come.

"Andy," she said hesitantly, "This is Jasper. He's an old friend."

"Hey, man," I said as I nodded my head at him.

"Jasper, huh? That must have been tough when you were a kid." He continued to watch me closely. I smiled slightly.

"It wasn't so bad. It's not that unusual of a name in the part of Texas where I grew up," I said smoothly. Bella began to relax slightly beside me.

"So, _Jasper _from Izzy's past," he began as his eyes locked with mine. I felt Bella tense up at his words and automatically reached out for her hand. She started in surprise but didn't pull away as that amazing calm began to flow between our hands. He widened his eyes at my action. "Are you from her life **Pre** **Bad Shit** or **After Bad Shit**?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I didn't know how to reply, unsure of how much Bella had told him. She drew a rapid breath before I could answer.

"Really, Andy? Are we going to start asking hard questions now?" she said in a snarky tone, glaring at him. My opinion of him rose again as he didn't back down.

"Maybe it's time we did, Izz," he said softly. I could tell she was ready to argue, so I pulled gently on her hand.

"It's OK," I said softly to her. I looked him in the eye as I answered. "Well, Andy, I guess you could say I caused the** Bad Shit** ." He seemed oddly satisfied by my reply, but I felt a sharp stab of anger from Bella before it faded away.

She tugged her hand away from mine and turned toward me. "I'm not going to stand here and listen to this shit. I'm going to go take a shower." She pointed at Andy. "You," she snapped, "Don't be nosy. You got a problem with him being here, we'll go. No Spanish Inquisition, got it?"

He nodded once and she turned to glare at me. "You had better be waiting for me when I'm done. Then you're going to take me to breakfast and answer my questions." I couldn't stop my grin at her attitude, although I knew it would probably piss her off.

"Yes ma'am," I said as I sat down in a chair. I noticed Andy wore a slight smirk as well, and Bella stomped off toward the bathroom. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow again. _This should be interesting,_ I thought to myself as I settled into the chair to wait.

**AN**

**As always, a huge thank you to Mynxi! You're the best, baby. Not only do you have mad skills with words, you're a pimp extraordinaire!** **Thanks for everything you do to make my writing better and thanks for helping get the word out about my fic! Loves you!**

**If you are one of the three people who did not find this fic from Mynxi's recommendation, stop what you're doing and read her **_**Saving Bella.**_** Great drama, yummy Jasper, and a doggie! Total package!**

**Thank you to all who alerted, favorited and reviewed. Your reviews really do make my day and motivate me to keep going. **

**Thank you to kelleygirl for your detailed observations! Keep it coming, you helped me make sure I was explaining things clearly! I know some things weren't addressed yet, but I promise future chapters will clear things up! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey Mynxi, Did you feel that just now? That was me and everyone who reads this story sending you a big, fuzzy, virtual hug for being my beta! Did I use too many commas just now?**

**Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight.**

Chapter Four

**JPOV**

I sat in the chair across from Andy and waited for his next move. I was interested to see if he would follow Bella's instructions or not. He was emitting curiosity now and the intense anxiety he was feeling when he knocked on her door was gone. He stared back at me, keeping good eye contact. He was clearly sizing me up, but his expression was speculative rather than antagonistic. I looked back at him, keeping my expression neutral. The silence was heavy and I began to wonder if he planned on staring me down until Bella came out. I had no desire to alienate Andy since he was obviously acting out of concern for her.

I decided to speak first and see where things went. "Is my being here a problem?" I asked, making sure to keep my tone polite. He twisted his lips into a small smile.

"You being here is only a problem for me if it's going to cause problems for Izzy," he replied quietly. "She's never told me her story, but I know she's had it real tough. As far as I know, she's completely on her own." He looked away for a moment, apparently gathering his thoughts. "So now you show up, and I have to wonder if this is a good thing for her or a bad thing," he said in a slightly apologetic tone. "I agreed to hold off on the inquisition, but I just won't feel right if I don't ask what you are to her and why you're here." He turned back toward me and raised his head slightly as he waited for my reaction.

I sighed as I tried to find words that would reassure him without opening the door for questions I couldn't answer. I could feel his sincere concern for Bella and I wanted to honor that with as much truth as possible. I began my answer. "I won't tell you Bella's story, that's not my place. I'll tell you that I never intended any harm, but something I did caused her to end up alone."

He tilted his head to one side. "Bella, huh? That suits her," he said slowly as he nodded, clearly hoping for more information. My vampire brain worked quickly, filtering the truth into something I could tell him.

"She was with my adopted brother, Edward. They loved each other as much as I've ever seen two people love. Our whole family was crazy about her, and she loved us too. But…our family kind of associates with some people who are really bad news." I grimaced slightly as I tried to gloss over our interaction with James and Victoria. "Bella was exposed to some of those people and had a really close call. Then I lost control of a situation and put Bella in a lot of danger. Edward decided she would be better off without us in her life, and we all left her. You'd have to ask her about what happened after that, but it all comes back to the fact that I was the one who put her in danger." I leaned forward in my chair and rubbed my hand over my eyes as the weight of that truth pressed on me.

When I looked up, he was still watching me. "I see," he said. I was struck by the sensation that he was seeing more than I wanted him to. His emotions were now a mixture of concern for Bella and a glimmer of respect for me. "Did she tell you how we met?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow. I sighed as I felt my own sadness multiplied by his.

"Yes," I said simply. "I will never be able to thank you enough for saving her from going through that again." He looked away as he fidgeted with the pillow on the couch.

"I just wish I had stopped it the first time," he said sadly. I felt the regret pouring off of him. "I was too messed up to realize that first night. Then when I saw her the next time, I realized what had gone down. She just had this dead expression on her face, and I couldn't stand it, so I offered her a place to stay," he said flatly. I felt the urge to ease his conscience.

"You did what you could. You saved her, Andy." I could tell he didn't believe me. "You're not responsible for what that asshole did to her. You saw a girl who needed help, and you helped her."

I sent him a small shot of sincerity, hoping it would help him accept what I was saying. I was surprised that he flinched slightly as I did it. He gave a small shake of his head and abruptly turned to face me again. His emotions sharpened as he began to speak quickly.

"So now you've found her, what's your plan? Are you stickin' around or are you gonna disappear on her again?" he asked with an edge to his voice. I felt a wave of frustration at his question, but I forced myself to focus on the fact that he was asking because he cared about Bella. I noticed his hands twitching slightly as he waited for my answer, but his eyes remained clear and focused. I had to respect him for standing up to me, even as I could see the signs that the drugs were leaving his system.

"I'm not going anywhere, Andy. Even if it wasn't my fault that she's here like this, I couldn't walk away from her now. I'll help her in any way she'll allow me to." I shifted in my chair as I heard the water stop running in the bathroom. I knew we wouldn't have much time to finish our conversation, so I made eye contact with him again. "I get that you care about her, and I'm grateful for that fact. The fact is that there's nothing I can say to you right now to convince you I'm good for her. I'll be proving that to you while I prove it to her."

I noticed the twitching in his hands was increasing and I could almost smell the craving for narcotics building in him. I was struck by the similarity between us in that moment and realized that I had been judging him harshly. At least what he craved was harmful only to him. If I succumbed to my yearning, someone would die.

We both turned as we heard Bella approach the living room. She raised her eyebrows at us. "Both in one piece, I see," she said wryly. "Did everyone play nice?" I grinned at her, enjoying the sharp humor in her tone.

"Yes ma'am," I drawled out slowly. She laughed out loud at my exaggerated accent as she handed me my jacket. My smile grew bigger at the sound of her laughter. I don't remember hearing Bella laugh much in Forks, but then again, we weren't together much. "Are you ready for breakfast?" I asked her.

I noticed Andy stand up from the couch, scratching his arms absently. "I'm gonna go meet up with some friends," he mumbled. Bella's eyes clouded slightly with sadness.

"Be safe," she whispered as he passed her.

"You too, Bella," he replied without looking at her.

She turned to me and raised her eyebrow at his use of her name. "I take it you two had a discussion about my past," she said, narrowing her eyes.

I realized she thought I had told Andy her story. "Bella, I didn't betray your confidence. If he wants to know your past, he'll have to come to you. He just wanted to make sure I wasn't here to take advantage of you."

Her expression relaxed as she shrugged her shoulders. "OK then, let's go feed the human," she said. I was pleased to see her smile as she spoke.

"After you, Bella," I said as we headed toward the door.

I followed her out of the building and down the street as she headed toward Broadway. "There's a diner a couple blocks down," she said as we walked. She was wearing her standard jeans and sneakers and I noticed that her jeans were worn thin in many places and quite loose around her hips. Her jacket seemed to be in good shape, but it wasn't heavy enough for the winter cold.

I wanted to offer her my jacket as another layer, but I knew I would draw attention walking around in a T shirt in this weather. I clenched my hands as I struggled with the thought of her being cold and hungry. I realized she was still scanning the crowds of people for Victoria and ground my teeth together in frustration at the reason for her fear. I had to battle the urge to carry her off to my apartment where she would be warm and safe. I knew I had a lot to learn about Bella, but I was already quite sure she wouldn't appreciate the implication that she couldn't take care of herself. It was going to be hard to find ways to help her that she wouldn't find insulting.

I followed her through the doors of the diner and waited as she asked the hostess for a table. The diner was quiet since we were ahead of the Sunday morning rush. Bella didn't even open the menu. When the waitress came to the table she ordered two large breakfast platters with coffee and juice. I raised my eyebrow at her as the waitress moved away.

"What?" she asked. "I figure I might as well order something I like, since _you_ won't be eating it." I smiled at her as I replied.

"Feel free, it's my treat after all." We paused as the waitress arrived with the drinks. I enjoyed watching Bella's expression as she sipped the hot coffee. I wrapped my own hands around my mug, savoring the warmth.

"OK, Jasper Hale, time to finish the story," she said as she sat her mug down.

"It's Whitlock," I corrected softly. Her expression was confused. "My name is Jasper Whitlock, Bella. I took Rosalie's last name when Alice and I joined the Cullens. After I left, I went back to my real name." She gave a small nod of understanding.

"Jasper Whitlock, then. It suits you," she said as she picked up her coffee again. I smiled. "It should, it was my name for a long time." She shrugged her shoulders. "Whatever, spill the shit. Alice broke up with you based on a vision, and you left. What have you been doing since then? Are you still in touch with any of them?" I scanned her face as she spoke, wondering if she was indirectly questioning me about Edward. Her face was curious but not anxious.

I decided to answer completely. If she became upset, we would just have to deal with it. "I left about a year and a half ago, give or take. They were up in Alaska at the time, but they weren't planning on staying there long term. I've just been moving around on my own since then. I stick to bigger cities, but I only stay a couple months in one place. I talk to Emmett on the phone and I e-mail Esme every once in a while, but that's it."

She glanced up as the waitress arrived with the huge plates of food. I watched as she began to eat. She dove in, obviously enjoying the food. I was getting a kick out of watching her eat, but I knew we had more issues to discuss. "I haven't seen Edward since a couple of weeks after we left Forks." Her chewing slowed and she glanced down at her plate for a moment.

I started to worry that bringing Edward into the conversation had been a mistake, but her face was calm when she looked up. She reached across the table and stole a piece of bacon off my untouched plate. I automatically picked up a fork and began to move food around to make it less obvious that I wasn't eating.

"So how are you managing out on your own?" she asked with a little smile. "I guess I should have made sure you could afford my appetite before I volunteered you to buy me breakfast," she joked.

I smiled at her as I replied. "You haven't broken the bank yet, Bella. I'm managing to stay afloat even without knowing what the future holds for the stock market." I realized she had tried to shift the conversation to a more superficial level and that I had fallen for it.

I decided to offer more personal information about me in hopes that she would open up more about herself later. "As for being on my own, it's pretty good. Better than I thought." I searched for words to describe how I had changed. "I'm sure you've noticed I'm a lot more in control of my thirst now and that has a lot to do with not feeling the others' thirst on top of mine."

She shook her head as she stole my toast. "I never thought about that before, Jasper. That must have been really hard to deal with," she said before taking a bite.

"I can't blame it all on that, Bella. I've also worked really hard to build up my tolerance to being around people," I clarified.

"Still Jasper, it's something to be proud of. I remember how hard it was for you just to sit through school, and now you go to bars and sit next to sleeping humans with no problem."

I laughed softly. "Well, I haven't actually tried the sleeping experiment with anyone else, so I don't know if I can take credit for that yet, Bella." I moved the conversation back to my life, noting how good she was at manipulating what we were talking about. She must have developed that skill over the last two years to deflect people's curiosity about her.

"I have to admit it's been hard in some ways though," I said softly. "It was…difficult to get used to living without Alice," I admitted. I really hadn't discussed the end of my "marriage" with anyone, not even Emmett. But I knew if I wanted Bella to let me into her life on a long term basis, I would have to give her a reason to trust me.

Her eyes widened and her expression softened. "I'm so sorry, Jasper. I can't imagine how difficult that was, after so much time together," she said gently. I was glad to see that the things she had been through hadn't taken away her compassion for others. She pushed her empty plate away and laid her hand on the table top. I watched in amazement as ever so slowly, she reached out and laid her hand lightly on my arm.

We sighed at the same time as that wonderful peace washed over us. I was so lost in the moment that I didn't notice the waitress approaching. I was actually startled when she asked us if we wanted anything else. I was startled to see that Bella had pretty much cleaned both our plates. Bella declined anything more to eat and I reluctantly moved my hand away to pay the bill. I followed her as she stood and headed out the door and back onto the sidewalk.

She turned toward me as we walked. "What about breakfast for you, Jasper?" she asked with a grin.

I smiled back as I answered. "I'm more of an afternoon snack kind of guy recently, Bella." She gave a short laugh and continued walking toward her apartment. "I was hoping we could talk a little more at your place this morning," I said hesitantly. She slowed her pace and nodded her head slightly. "I usually go hunt in the afternoons and I have a few other things to take care of today after that."

I saw her posture tense at my words and wondered what had upset her. "No problem, Jasper. I don't want to keep you from anything." I felt a quick touch of sadness from her before it disappeared. She looked away as she continued. "It's been good seeing you and catching up, but I really don't like to dwell on the past this much. Maybe we could just say good-bye here and skip the heart to heart," she said tersely.

My head spun as I realized she thought that I was leaving her permanently. I should have been more careful with my words, knowing how she had lost everyone who mattered to her. I struggled to find a way to reassure her without coming off too pushy.

"Bella, I _really_ hope you'll let me come back to your place. I think there's a lot we haven't told each other yet, and this is a good chance while your roommate is out," I said quickly. Her shoulders were still stiff and I knew I was losing her. "I do have to leave to hunt this afternoon, but after that, I was hoping I could pick you up. We could grab your dinner and head over to my place if you want." I forced myself to keep the pleading from my voice.

Her heart raced for a moment before it calmed down. She didn't turn back to me as she whispered her answer, realizing I would hear it. "Fine then, Jasper. Come on up." She turned into her building and I followed her up the stairs.

**BPOV**

I grabbed my things and stormed into the shower. I was irritated with both Andy and Jasper, but for different reasons. I was upset that Andy had interrupted our conversation. I was so confused by what Jasper had told me about Alice's actions, and I was desperate to ask more questions. I was also concerned that Andy would start asking questions that were too dangerous to answer.

_And Jasper_, I thought to myself. _What is it with those Cullen men and blaming themselves for everything that happens in the universe? _It was true that it was Jasper's lapse that night that made Edward realize that life with me was too complicated, but you could just as easily blame Alice for using wrapping paper instead of a gift bag. I huffed again as I finished my shower. I finished getting ready quickly, worrying about the two men sitting in the living room.

I was relieved to see they both appeared calm as I entered the room. I sighed to myself as I noticed how twitchy Andy was. He'd be off soon looking for his next fix. He was such a good soul, but he was losing himself more every day. I teased them about surviving my shower and Jasper drawled out a "Yes ma'am," at me. It was so adorable that I couldn't stop myself from laughing. It felt really good to laugh and I realized I couldn't remember the last time I had. I noticed he was really smiling at me, and I was amazed at how it lit up his face. I couldn't remember seeing him smile much in Forks, and boy had Forks missed out! His amber eyes glowed softly with humor and a lock of his blond hair fell into his face. I actually had to stop myself from reaching out to move it back into place.

Andy excused himself and got ready to go get high when, he dropped my real name. I was immediately pissed and began to question Jasper on what he had told Andy. I was relieved when he told me he hadn't sold me out. I felt kind of bad for doubting him, but it wasn't safe for Andy to know too much about me. We made it out of the building and I began walking to my favorite diner. I walked quickly through the cold air, my thoughts turning busily. I began to feel anxious about spending more time with Jasper.

Waking up this morning while he held my hand had been surreal. From the cocoon of my room it had felt natural to share my story with him and I couldn't deny how he had comforted me. But now that we were out in the real world I was questioning the wisdom of letting him into my life. I had become used to being self sufficient and the idea of starting to depend on someone else was frightening. I couldn't afford to be emotional and weak if I was going to focus on staying alive. I also had no idea what Jasper's intentions were. I couldn't imagine he would alter his nomadic lifestyle for me and I needed to be prepared for the fact that he will leave again.

I resolved to keep the conversation focused on him and what he was doing. No more heavy revelations about my past. Hopefully he would follow my lead and we could just sort of fade out of each other's lives by the end of the morning. I dreaded an awkward good bye and began to sift through various excuses to cut the morning short. We arrived at the diner and got a quiet seat. I ordered two huge breakfasts, smirking at him when he looked at me funny. The coffee was fantastic and I enjoyed the warmth as I waited for the caffeine to take effect.

I decided to take the initiative and asked what had happened after Alice dumped him. The fact that she had ended their relationship was still hard to accept. Then he corrected me about his name and it just hit home. The vampire sitting across from me had changed as much as I had since we had left Forks. He filled me in on his lifestyle and about how much contact he had with the Cullens. I listened intently as I ate the fantastic breakfasts. Rent was due and money would be tight until I worked again on Wednesday, so I planned to eat up. Then he mentioned Edward and it got hard to swallow.

I forced myself to stay calm and distracted him by stealing a piece of bacon off his plate. I didn't spend much time dwelling on Edward, but the memories still made me sad. I had never really had the chance to grieve over the ending of our relationship, but now was hardly the time. I moved the conversation back to him. I really was interested in the things he had accomplished on his own. He seemed much more at peace than he had in Forks. I was proud of him for moving on. Then he mentioned how difficult it had been for him and I couldn't stop my hand from reaching out to him. I hated that he had suffered and was possibly still suffering. That crazy peaceful feeling flowed between us and we just sat there until the waitress ended the moment by bringing the check.

I tried to keep the conversation light as we headed back to the apartment when he mentioned leaving to hunt and take care of some stuff. I couldn't stop the wave of loss from sweeping over me before I tamped it down. I steeled myself and realized I had been correct to try to cut this short. If I was already so disappointed that he was leaving, seeing more of him could only bring me more heartache. I tried to brush him off, but he surprised me by offering to come back to take me to his place that night. He sounded so sincere, I found myself unable to say no. My mouth formed the words in a whisper, but I knew he would hear me tell him he could come back with me to finish talking.

He held the door for me as we entered the building and I noticed how tall he was as I walked past him. He had a somber expression on his pale face as he followed me into my apartment. "Andy probably won't be back for several hours at least," I told him. "He doesn't like to be messed up around me for some reason," I shrugged. He just nodded back and I got the sense that he was struggling with some sort of internal dilemma.

I decided to call him on it as we headed into my room. "What's up, Jasper? You look like you're in pain. Are you getting 'hungry'?" I asked nervously. He sighed at me and shook his head. I wondered what could possibly make him this nervous. After my revelations this morning, it was pretty much all out there.

He pushed a stray lock of hair out of his face and looked straight at me. "Bella, do you want me to call Edward?"

I sat down on my bed and looked at him in shock for a moment before I answered. "Why would I want you to do that, Jasper?"

He looked surprised by my answer. "I just know he would want to know all about this Bella, and he would want to fix it."

I suppressed a surge of anger at Jasper's words. No one was going to "fix" my life but me. "Jasper, Edward made it perfectly clear before he left Forks that I wasn't good enough for him. I hardly think the things I've done over the last two years are going to improve his opinion," I breathed out quickly.

Now it was his turn to appear shocked. "Not good enough for him? I don't understand Bella. That doesn't make sense." My stomach sank as I realized I was going to have to elaborate on Edward's departure. It wasn't something I ever enjoyed thinking about and telling someone else about it was not high on my list of fun things to do.

"He told me he didn't want me, Jasper. That he was tired of pretending to be human around me and that I wasn't good for him." I was pleased to note that my feelings were more angry than sad. "I don't think he could be clearer than that. I can't think of any reason that he needs to know anything about me or my life now," I said firmly.

I was surprised at the truth of that statement. For the first few months after I left Forks, I had dreamed that Edward would somehow find me, scoop me up and take me away from everything. But reality had finally hit and I just stopped thinking of it after awhile. Now that I was actually talking about it out loud, I realized that Edward's abandonment was losing the power it had over me.

Jasper was staring at me like I'd grown a second head. He actually sat down on the floor with his back against the wall. He looked like he was struggling to find words. "Bella, I think I have to tell you something, but I'm afraid it's going to upset you," he whispered. "I think you should know, but I don't know if you'll want to know," he murmured.

I slid off the bed and moved over to kneel in front of him. He looked at me earnestly. "I just don't want to make things worse, Bella. After everything you've been through, I just don't want to make anything worse."

I slowly reached out and took his hand in mine, relishing the sensation of calm as it came. "Just tell the truth, Jasper. Always the truth for me," I said softly.

He grasped my hand firmly in his and looked into my eyes. Even through the calm that was surrounding us, I felt so sorry for the turmoil I could see in his eyes. "Bella, he lied," he began slowly. "Edward lied when he said those things to you."

I smiled softly at him. "Jasper, you don't have to try to make me feel better about it. It makes me sad, but I don't let it define my existence."

He shook his head. "No, Bella," he said as he grasped my hand tighter. "Don't forget, I was always there, feeling what he felt. The whole time…when he met you, while you were together, even after we left. He loved you absolutely." His voice was filled with belief in his words. I clung tighter to his hand, but I could feel anxiety pushing through our little peace bubble.

I forced myself to breathe evenly and allow the feelings to come. Jasper's touch seemed to help me stay in control as I felt my emotions fighting with each other. My first response was pain and a sense of betrayal. If Edward had loved me, why would he have hurt me so badly when he left? He would have known that his words would destroy me. I realized he had taken it upon himself to decide what was best for me, regardless of my opinion or my feelings. I felt anger rising up. Who did he think he was, ripping me to pieces because he thought I would be safer without him in my life? Jasper just sat and held my hand while I processed my thoughts. I began to realize that Edward had frequently been slightly condescending during our relationship, so sure that he knew what was best.

Jasper's angelic face was full of anxiety about my reaction, but I was grateful that he was giving me time to feel. He was so used to responding to people's emotions, it must be second nature, even though he wasn't able to "read" mine. I sighed in frustration as I felt tears start to fall. I hated that I cried when I was angry. I looked Jasper in the eye and squared my shoulders. "Then I feel sorry for him, Jasper, because that's not real love. Real love is built on respect and faith. Real love makes you fight, not walk away."

I felt another spike of anger underneath the sense of calm. "As for 'fixing' my life, that's not anybody's job but mine!" I said loudly. "I've fought so damn hard, Jasper. Running in fear, working till I'm exhausted, but I'm doing it. I'm keeping my head above water and I'm sitting here alive. So the idea that _anyone_ would think they need to rush into my life and take over to make it better doesn't sit too well. I'm twenty years old and I'm not going to be treated like a kid playing with kitchen knives!" I all but shouted at him. "So no, Jasper, I do not want you to call Edward. I don't think I want to see Edward ever again," I said, my voice softer but still firm.

His lips began to twist upward in a small smile as I spoke. I felt our sense of calm begin to change slightly and realized he was sending a wave of pride toward me. "OK then, Bella. I'm sorry if I upset you, but I'm glad to know how you really feel about it. I wouldn't have felt right not telling you," he said as he slowly let go of my hand.

I felt a tug as the peace slowly faded away and realized I missed the physical feeling of his cool hand in mine as well. I reminded myself that this was dangerous water and that I needed to avoid becoming dependent on him. I scooted back and stood up. "I'm glad you told me, Jasper. It's good for me to know." I turned and started making my bed, feeling the need to do something as I waited for him to respond.

**JPOV**

I was relieved when Bella said I could come back to the apartment with her, but the feeling was short lived. I planned to spend the afternoon working on helping Bella and I was quickly becoming aware that she would not welcome me just sweeping in and taking care of everything. I'm going to have to reign in my desire to atone for attacking her, so I don't push her away with my interference. My brain buzzed with possibilities and scenarios of how I could make things better for her, but I realized I needed to know what she wanted for herself. I wondered if she would want to see any of the Cullens. She seemed to be tolerating my reappearance in her life, but every now and then I sensed a trace of reluctance to be near me. I had no idea if she would want anyone else from the family around, or if seeing them would cause her more emotional pain.

I was insanely frustrated by her ability to block my talent for reading her emotions. I sighed to myself and realized I needed to come out and ask her about Edward and whether she would want him to know about her. If that was what she wanted, I would make it happen. Edward and I had parted under tense terms. I had still been overwhelmed by my guilt and he was almost incapacitated by the pain of leaving Bella. However, I knew I owed her anything I could do to make her happy, so if she told me to, I would have Esme contact him. I dreaded asking her about it though. She was clearly trying to keep things more superficial, and this was sure to be an extremely personal conversation.

I followed her into the apartment, and she must have seen my internal struggle on my face, because she asked if I was getting hungry. I shook my head as I pushed my hair out of my face and blurted out my question. "Bella, do you want me to call Edward?"

She sat down on the bed abruptly, clearly in shock. Her heart raced as she asked me why I would think she would want that. I was surprised by the vehemence of her question. I explained that I just knew that Edward would want to know and to help. Her face showed a trace of anger for a moment, and again I wished I could know what she was feeling. Then she told me exactly how Edward had left her, exactly what lies he had used to force her not to follow him.

I was beyond words for a minute. I sat down to try to gather my thoughts. I couldn't imagine how Edward had been able to convince her he didn't care. His love for her had been so strong it was sometimes overwhelming for me to be around. His passion had been mixed with an almost obsessive desire to protect her and it had frequently made me so uncomfortable that I would avoid them. I now faced another choice. Should I tell Bella the truth… that he had lied to her and that to my knowledge still loved her? I couldn't guess if the knowledge would help her or hurt her.

She knelt in front of me, clearly concerned about me. I was struck again at how selfless she was. I explained my hesitation at telling her something that might make things worse. She actually reached for my hand as she asked simply for the truth. That lovely calm drifted over me, and I resolved that I would never lie to her, never hide anything from her. Her strength of character demanded that respect from me. So I explained to her that Edward had lied when he left her. She was reluctant to believe me at first, thinking I was just trying to make the memory less painful.

She clutched my hand tighter as she finally accepted what I was telling her. I watched her struggle to control her reactions. I still wasn't feeling her emotions, but right now I could see them clearly on her face. The pain I had expected was there, but it was quickly replaced by anger. I wanted to comfort her but I realized that she needed time to process the information. My heart ached for her as I watched her tears fall even as she visibly pulled herself up by the bootstraps. She told me she felt sorry for Edward because that wasn't love and I was staggered by her strength. Her description of love made me pity Edward as well. She had loved him fiercely and he had walked away from it instead of fighting to stay near it.

She began a tirade about people "fixing" her life, and I warned myself to tread carefully as I tried to help her. I would need to earn her trust before I could really begin to make a difference and help her change things. I felt lucky that she was even willing to sit in the same room with me after all the turmoil I had caused her, both in the past and over the last few hours. I couldn't stop the wave of pride from escaping as I admired her independence, but I couldn't tell if she felt it. I reluctantly let go of her hand as I apologized for upsetting her. A strange expression crossed her face as she reassured me that she was glad to know the truth. She turned to make her bed and I stood up.

"Bella, I'm glad you let me come back up to talk. I really do need to hunt today and I have some phone calls to make, but then I'm all yours if you'll have me. I'd love to show you my place," I said, hoping I could convince her to agree.

She turned from smoothing the bedding. "OK, Jasper. I don't have to work, so I wouldn't be doing anything anyway," she said softly.

I tried to hide my relief as I answered, "Good then. Can I just come back here for you when I'm done?"

I hoped she would let me pick her up. The thought of her out there alone while Victoria was on the loose was hard to tolerate, but I realized I couldn't expect her to stay home just because I wasn't around. Thankfully, she agreed without an argument, but I could almost sense that she was eager for me to leave. I imagined she needed some time to herself to digest everything I had told her this morning.

She walked me to the door of the apartment. "I'll see you later then, Bella."

She nodded as she replied wryly, "Enjoy your afternoon snack, Jasper."

I couldn't resist teasing her. "Meh, it won't be as delicious as you would be, but a deer or two will get me through," I deadpanned.

She raised her eyebrows but couldn't hide her smile. "Really? I'm glad to know I'm the star of the menu," she quipped back. "Now get the hell out of here," she said with a smile, as I turned to step through the door.

"Stay out of trouble," I ordered half seriously as she closed the door. She made no reply, but I heard a distinct snort as I walked down the hall.

I strode quickly down the streets back onto Broadway and hailed a cab. I wished I could just run at vampire speed back home to get started on my "rescue mission," but at least traffic wasn't too bad this Sunday morning. We arrived at my building and I quickly paid the driver. I rushed into my apartment, already dialing my cell phone now that I had privacy. I started up my computer as the phone rang. I pulled up Google and began to type when I finally heard the voice I was waiting for. "Jenks, its Jasper Whitlock. I have work for you." _Mission begun,_ I thought as I began to give Jenks instructions.

**AN-** **Thanks to all who are reading, and especially to those who take the time to review! I love to hear from you guys! I know this is moving really slow, but we're starting to get their histories wrapped up and should be able to move into more present time action!**

**Thanks as always to Mynxi for everything she does to make this pretty! Who else would keep me consistent on how much Bella ate? ;P Love you baby! **

**Guess what, Anadaybel is reading this! I'm squealing like a fangirl! If you haven't read her fic Wanted yet, go right now! Its hellagood- great plot twists and character development!**


	5. Chapter 5

**The Twilight characters and plot are the property of Stephanie Meyer.**

**Mynxi is my beta. She's real smart, and Jasper thinks that's hot!**

Chapter Five

**BPOV **

I closed the door behind Jasper and snorted at his parting shot to stay out of trouble. Really? _Trouble follows me, get used to it,_ I thought to myself as I walked back into my room. I sat slowly down on my bed and realized my legs were shaking slightly. My mind began to race as I tried to process everything that had happened this morning. If I had answered Jasper differently, I would be waiting on Edward right now. I knew that if I had said yes, he would have done whatever it took to get Edward here, willing or otherwise.

I was still in shock over the revelation that Edward had loved me but left me anyway. I was surprised when I noticed a slow tear sliding down my cheek. I began to direct some of my anger toward myself. I was angry at Edward for not loving me enough to stay with me, but I was angry at myself for allowing his hollow love to influence me so much.

Our relationship had been so unbalanced in so many ways. I had been so in awe of him that it had never made sense to me that he could return my feelings. Looking back, I realized that although I hadn't hesitated to give him my true opinion on things, we almost always ended up doing what he felt was right. I'm sure our "age difference" played a role in that pattern, but it was uncomfortable for me to remember how much of myself I had given up to make our relationship work. I had been so grateful for his love at the time, but the thought that I wasn't enough for him had always been in the back of my mind.

I felt another surge of anger at the memory of feeling unworthy of Edward Cullen's love. I had deserved better, but I hadn't demanded better. I gave myself a mental shake, realizing that this line of thinking was hardly useful. The past was the past and nothing would change it. My life was too dangerous to entertain the thought of ever being in another relationship, so there would be no opportunity to test my higher standards in practice. It was time to focus on the present and my plans to see Jasper again tonight.

I groaned at the thought of spending more time with him. I needed to keep my distance to preserve my ability to function when he moved on. My guess was that Jasper wasn't planning on keeping the conversation light and social tonight. I wouldn't lie to him after his honesty this morning, but I didn't want to let him too far into my headspace either. I was so relieved that I was apparently immune to his talent. It would be awful to know he was reading my volatile emotions like a book.

I also felt unsure of his motivation in seeing me again. He had seemed so surprised when I told him not to call Edward. I'm sure Jasper would have been relieved to hand me off to Edward and walk away from my problems, but now he probably felt obligated to try to help me out. As tempting as it was to run toward the prospect of a different life, I was still proud of the existence I had made for myself. I was unwilling to let anyone walk into my life and take over out of a mistaken sense of responsibility.

I heard the door to our apartment open and looked at the clock. Andy was back earlier than I had expected. He didn't operate on a schedule of course, but he usually spent the whole day out when he went to get high.

I had a feeling I was in for another uncomfortable conversation after his chat with Jasper this morning. I was surprised that Andy had acted so protectively toward me, but I could see how he might have seen Jasper as a potential threat to me. Now that the door to my past was opened to him, I didn't see him walking away from it. Despite his addiction, he was a very perceptive guy and he didn't miss much.

I wished I had asked Jasper exactly what he had told him earlier so I could be more prepared. I felt very nervous about opening this can of worms with Andy. We had settled easily into a pattern of ignoring our hard life and the histories that had landed us here. Confiding in him was going to feel strange, and I needed to organize my thoughts before he started asking questions. I didn't want to tell him anything that would put him in more danger or raise his suspicions about Jasper's nature.

I stood up as I heard his steps approach my door. I opened the door before he could knock and looked into his grey eyes. His pupils were pinpoints, but his speech was clear as he drawled out, "Well _Bel-la_, have time to chat?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Yes, dad," I groaned out sarcastically. "Lead the way," I said, gesturing toward the living room. We tended not to enter each other's rooms frequently, and for this discussion I wanted neutral territory. I followed him out to the living room and sat in my usual spot on the small couch.

"How was breakfast?" he asked benignly as he sat down.

"Good, thanks," I replied smoothly. "How was your fix?" I figured if we were get into the shit I'd been through, I'd come out swinging at his life a little too.

He barked a short laugh. "It was adequate, Bella. Thanks for asking." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"So Jasper is your high school boyfriend's brother, right?"

I nodded as I swung my legs up on the couch. "Well they're adopted, but yeah. He said they're not in touch now, though," I answered.

He grimaced and looked out the window. "And Jasper's the one that fucked your life up?" he asked, not meeting my eyes.

I held my breath in shock at the question. I could only whisper as I began to answer. "No, Andy. It was an accident. Jasper was in a situation that he couldn't control and there was an accident. I wasn't seriously hurt, but Edward just couldn't get over it. He decided he was no good for me and convinced his whole family to leave." I struggled to find a way to gloss over the murders of my parents and Phil, but nothing good came to mind.

"I can't tell you about the things that happened after that or why I'm still scared, but none of it has _anything_ to do with Jasper," I said firmly. "I'm alone because Edward left me and I'm scared because bad people want to hurt me. None of that is on Jasper, none of it. And if he told you different, then he was just wrong," I said vehemently. Andy met my eyes as I finished and raised an eyebrow at my tone.

I frowned and looked him hard in the face. "What's with the twenty questions, Andy? I'm not saying I won't play, but I don't get why the curiosity all the sudden."

He played idly with a hole in his jeans. "That's fair, Bella. I know we've been pretty hands off up 'til now, but I think we both know we've got each other's backs." My expression softened slightly at his words.

"When I heard you in there with a guy this morning, I was afraid you were in a bad situation again. Bella, I felt terrible because I realized that you could be in trouble and I wouldn't know because we don't talk about shit and I know you won't ask anyone for help."

I felt an ache in my chest as I realized how much I had made him worry. I rushed to reassure him. "Oh Andy, I would ask for help. If I was in trouble like that, I would come to you," I said quickly. "I'm sorry I've made you worry by keeping to myself. But Andy, the people who are after me, they're vicious, and the less you know about me, the safer you are," I said sadly.

He rubbed his face absently and I noticed how tired he looked. "OK, Bella. I won't push you for extra details about the past. Just know that if you need me, I'm here. Jasper seemed like a decent guy and I think he has good intentions, but you need to remember he's not your only friend."

He met my eyes again as he finished speaking and I was struck by the dark circles under them. He began to scratch his arm and I glimpsed several fading track marks along his vein. He noticed me looking at pushed his sleeve back into place. I knew he'd be leaving again soon to either get high or find money to get high with.

I forced myself to speak up while we were being direct with each other. "Andy, you know I don't judge and I don't push, but I've noticed how much more you're using the last few months. And you need to know that if you need _me_, I'm here," I said as he stood up.

He flashed the trace of a smile at me, but his eyes were sad. "Thanks Izzy," he sighed. "I'm just doing what I have to do to get through the day." He shrugged into his coat and walked out the door.

I realized I had forgotten to tell him I was going to Jasper's tonight and got up to write him a note. If I didn't do it now, I might forget, and I didn't want to cause Andy any more unnecessary worry. He didn't keep close tabs on me, but he knew I didn't work tonight and he would worry if he came back late and I wasn't home.

I finished the note and taped it to his bedroom door. I wandered into my room and tried to decide what to do until this evening. I decided to get out of the apartment while it was still early since I didn't know when Jasper would be back. I grabbed my cigarettes and my jacket and headed out the door. I planned to scan the subway station for a Sunday New York Times in good shape to help me kill some time.

I lit up as I left the building, coughing on the first drag. I realized I hadn't smoked at all since yesterday afternoon before work. I hadn't felt the need for the camouflage while I was with Jasper. I shook my head at my complacency. I needed to force myself to stay alert and not rely on Jasper to protect me. _Dangerous waters, Bella, _I warned myself as I walked. I scanned the busy street for suspicious sunglasses on this cloudy day. I knew looking was an exercise in futility, but I did it anyway. By the time I saw Victoria, it would be too late for me.

I headed down the steps to the subway station checking the benches and garbage cans for discarded newspapers or magazines. This was my library now since I didn't have an ID that matched an address. Sometimes I would luck out and find an abandoned book, but that was a rarity. Aside from my parents, the thing I missed most about my old life was books. I spied a stack of papers on the last bench on the platform and smiled. _Jackpot! _Sunday Time in excellent condition. Most of the sections appeared to be untouched. I snagged it and headed back up the steps to the street.

I hurried back to my building, eager to get out of the cold air. I clambered up the steps and let myself into the apartment. I chucked my shoes and coat and curled up in bed with the paper. I planned to read it front to back, enjoying every moment. This was my way to stay connected to the world outside my bubble of self preservation.

I woke with a start, peeling the crumpled newspaper off my face. I quickly checked my clock, relieved to find it wasn't quite evening yet. I rarely napped during the day, but the emotional upheaval of this morning had clearly taken its toll on my energy level. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my hair into better order. I sighed, trying to think of something productive to do. I almost hated my days off. I never felt safe outside and there wasn't enough in the apartment to keep me occupied.

I heard a knock at the door and couldn't stop the smile from crossing my lips. I couldn't deny that I was looking forward to getting out of the apartment, even if it meant more tense conversations with Jasper. I walked quickly to the door and checked the peep hole.

Jasper was waiting patiently in the hallway. He was wearing jeans and a black leather jacket. His pale skin stood out against the dark coat. He looked like a rebel angel standing in my hallway. His amber eyes met mine through the small peep hole and I started. I felt a rush of embarrassment at staring at him while he knew I was behind the door, and rushed to open it. "Sorry Jasper! Come on in," I gasped out.

I tried to control my gawking as his face lit up with a smile and he walked toward me. He was always perfectly gorgeous in the usual vampire way, but when he smiled he was just breathtaking. I forced myself to stop staring like a fangirl and focus. The last thing I needed was for him to think I was crushing on him.

He walked through the open door. "No problem, Bella. Did you have a good afternoon?"

**JPOV**

I typed Bella's name into the search field while I repeated the information to Jenks. "That's right, Isabella Swan. I want every detail of the investigation into her disappearance and the murders of her parents," I said firmly. "I mean every detail, Jenks. Every theory, every lead they're checking. I want to know where they're looking and how hard they're looking."

"Yes sir, Mr. Whitlock," Jenks replied quickly. "It will probably take me a week or so to find a way to get at the information, but I'll get it done."

"The sooner the better, Jenks, but make sure you do it clean. The last thing I want is to attract any more police interest on this matter," I said forcefully while I scanned the hits that came up on my search.

"Yes sir, you can expect my normal attention to details," he said with a trace of irritation.

I smiled into the phone. Jenks was my go to guy. I went to him when I needed new IDs, information, anything I couldn't easily accomplish myself. I had employed several similar people over my years as a Cullen, but Jenks was becoming my favorite. He had a healthy, natural fear of me, but he didn't kiss my ass. He hadn't let me down so far, but helping Bella was going to be a challenge.

"Mr. Whitlock, do you want me to get someone to follow the girl herself?" he asked in a more polite tone.

"Not necessary, I'm where I can keep an eye on her and the fewer people who know where she is the better," I replied. I had given Jenks bare bones details about Bella, but no explanation about my interest. I knew he would be curious about the assignment to investigate a missing teenage girl, but he wouldn't ask unnecessary questions. He knew the deal. I paid him extremely well, but I expected absolute discretion in return.

"OK, sir. I'll be in touch with you at this number when I have any information to pass on."

"Wait, one more thing, Jenks." I read him off the address of Bella's building. "Find out who owns this building and do whatever the hell it takes to get them to turn the fucking heat on," I said in a hard voice.

"I'm on it," he replied quickly.

"Thanks, Jenks. I'll be waiting to hear from you on the rest of it," I said before hanging up.

I clicked on the most promising hit on Bella. I skimmed the article on her disappearance and the tragic deaths of her entire family. It was two years old, written just after she left Forks. The article stated that police had no theories on the motive behind the crimes. There was a brief interview with one of the Quileute elders who had been friends with Charlie. He pleaded briefly but eloquently for Bella's return.

I found a few other more recent articles, but all were brief and contained no new information. I sighed as I closed the window and turned away from my desk. I made a mental list of things I could do to help Bella, discarding options that would probably step on her toes. I wanted nothing more than to take her away from this mess, set her up in a safe place, send her to college and watch from nearby while she lived out the rest of her life. I knew that was completely unrealistic, but it eased my guilt a little to daydream about it.

I focused on the few small things that I could accomplish immediately. I had planned to have Jenks get to work on a better fake ID for Bella, but I had forgotten to ask what name she was currently using. It was obviously some variation of Isabella since she was going by Izzy, but I had no clue about what surname she had chosen. I would have to try to weasel it out of her tonight so I could get Jenks on it tomorrow. A good fake would at least ensure that she didn't blow her cover if she ever drew any official attention.

She also needed clothes and a warm coat, but I was unsure how to get her to accept gifts from me. I remembered she had hated getting gifts back in Forks. I could only imagine how defensive it would make her now. I knew that she took pride in her independence, but I wanted so badly to make her life easier. I ground my teeth as I thought about her job. I remembered how exhausted she had been after working and how long her commute home had been. I hated the thought of her having to deal with more assholes at work.

I forced myself to table that thought for later as I stood up. I grabbed my car keys and headed to the garage. I hoped traffic wouldn't be bad on the LIE. I needed to hunt and get back to Bella. I was worried that she might be talking herself out of seeing me. It was a good thing I had arranged to pick her up, or she might have backed out. I smiled to myself as I thought that she would probably be backing out anyway if she had a way to reach me.

My smile faded to a slight frown as I added a cell phone to the list of things she needed. I didn't even want to think about the argument that would ensue when I brought it up. I climbed into my slate colored Porsche Cayenne and started it up. It wasn't flashy, but it was an awesome ride. All the bells and whistles and really fast, just what I needed. I pulled out of the garage and onto the relatively quiet streets. I made my way to the Queensboro Bridge and onto the LIE.

Traffic wasn't bad, so I made it to a relatively unpopulated area quickly. There were lots of large properties surrounding mansions of the rich and famous. I quickly took down a couple of deer and got back in the car to head back to my building.

I reached my garage, parked the car, and headed upstairs to the apartment. I jumped in the shower, enjoying the warmth of the water from the surrounding shower heads. I knew it was bad to waste water, but this was a luxury I couldn't give up. I finally forced myself to turn the water off and got out of the huge shower stall. I dried off and went to my closet. I grabbed a long sleeved T shirt and a pair of jeans.

I knew Alice would have despised my current wardrobe, but I felt most at home in a comfortable shirt and a pair of jeans. I had never minded letting Alice choose my clothes, but I had to admit that it was nice to dress to my own taste now. I knew Bella wouldn't mind me not dressing up and the thought made me smile. I grabbed my jacket and keys and headed out the door, eager to get to Bella's.

Sunday afternoon traffic was still light and I made good time to Bella's neighborhood. I parked my car on the street. I hoped no one would steal it while I was inside, since Bella's area wasn't great and my car was tempting. I made my way into her building and to her door. I realized it was just late afternoon and hoped she was there since I hadn't specified a time.

I knocked on the door and heard her footsteps approaching. I assumed she was cautiously checking the peep hole, although she knew full well if Victoria knocked on her door the lock wouldn't stop her. I kept waiting, surprised at how long it was taking. I looked toward the peep hole and caught a flash of movement as I heard her move to open the door.

She sounded breathless as she apologized. I smiled at her, unsure of what she was apologizing for. She stared at me for a moment before she shifted her body for me to walk through the door.

"No problem, Bella. Did you have a good afternoon?" I asked.

She smiled slightly. "It was OK. I read the paper and took a little nap." She waved a hand at her outfit and raised an eyebrow. "Am I dressed alright?" she asked softly.

I nodded as I answered. "Yeah, you'll do," I said nonchalantly. I cracked a smile as her eyebrow rose even higher. "Kidding, kidding, Bella!" I rushed to placate her before she got too pissed. "You're fine. I thought we could grab something simple for you and just go back to my place. No dress code on Sunday nights," I couldn't resist adding. Her eyebrow stayed up and she gave me a death glare before a genuine smile spread across her face. I was struck by how her smile changed her entire face, lighting it and erasing the worry that usually shadowed her eyes.

She grabbed her jacket and we headed out the door. I was relieved when I saw my car sitting where I had parked. Bella had moved ahead of me and was heading down the street back toward the subway station. I reached out and gently grabbed her arm. "I drove over, Bella. I'm parked right over there," I said as I guided her into a U turn.

She looked at me in surprise. "You have a car in Manhattan? Who needs a car here, Jasper?"

I rolled my eyes at her playfully. "I don't exactly feel like taking the LIRR every time I need to hunt, Bella."

She giggled as I led her to the car and opened the door for her. "I guess that makes sense, Whitlock," she said, as I got into the driver's seat.

She buckled her seat belt and leaned back into the soft cushions. "Pretty nice ride, Jasper. Not that I would expect anything less," she teased.

"I can't deny it, I'm accustomed to a fast car after my years with the Cullens," I replied easily. I watched her face, concerned that mentioning their name would upset her, but she showed no signs of distress. I was glad she was handling everything so well, but life had obviously taught her to roll with the punches.

I started the car and pulled quickly onto the street. She gasped slightly and grabbed the armrest as we moved. "Take it easy, Jasper, I haven't been in a car in a long time!" she blurted out.

I grimaced as I remembered Edward mentioning her dislike of fast driving. "Sorry, Bella. I didn't think about it," I apologized. "I won't be going fast here in the city anyway. Too much traffic," I complained jokingly.

"It's OK, I just don't want to get car sick and destroy this fancy ass upholstery," she said primly.

I found myself smiling again at her sharp humor. "Do your worst, Miss Swan. This hunk of junk came with an interior protection plan," I joked back. She rolled her eyes before turning away to look out the window.

"It's Miss Sanders now," she said softly after a minute. "Isabel Sanders. I kept my old initials to keep it easy to remember," she continued. I nodded my head although she was still looking intently out her window.

"Smart thinking, Bella. It's always good to keep it simple when you choose an alias," I said matter-of-factly. She nodded briefly but didn't reply.

I made sure to drive smoothly and avoid sudden braking as we headed toward my building. Bella kept her eyes on the changing scenery and didn't speak any more. Her heart rate was a little fast and I realized she was nervous, but the silence wasn't uncomfortable. It seemed we were both accustomed to the quiet and didn't feel the need to talk for the sake of noise. I parked in my garage and got out to open her door as she unbuckled her seat belt.

"Thank you," she said quietly as I gave her my hand to help her off the seat. We both paused as the tranquility flowed between our hands. "Oh," she whispered softly, closing her eyes. I looked down at our clasped hands, mine hard and cold, hers warm, soft and pulsing with life.

"Yeah, that's something else," I whispered back. She opened her eyes and I saw hesitation flicker in them. I started to pull my hand away, but she tightened her grip and stood up. I looked down at her tiny frame and was struck by the powerful desire to take care of her, to chase the shadows from her eyes.

I reluctantly began to move away, but I was shocked when she left her hand in mine and moved to my side. I stared at her and she gave a tiny smile. "Life is hard, Jasper. This feels good, so what the hell," she said, shrugging. "Unless it bothers you?" she asked, looking up at me. I shook my head quickly.

"No, Bella, it doesn't bother me at all. I was just surprised," I explained as I began to walk us toward the garage exit. "It does feel good, doesn't it?" I asked rhetorically.

Her smile widened and she nodded her head. "Are you ready to eat, Bella? There are a couple of places a few blocks over. Or we could head upstairs until you're hungry," I offered.

"I could eat now," she said quickly. "My _breakfasts_ have just about worn off," she quipped.

"OK, you'll need to choose your _dinners_ then," I teased her. "You have a choice of pizza, sandwiches or sushi in this neighborhood."

"Damn, Jasper. For someone who doesn't eat you know a lot about where the food is around here!" she laughed.

"What?" I retorted in an outraged tone. "So I look at the signs on the street as I walk by and listen to people making lunch plans! I'm just observant," I defended myself as she laughed at me.

She began to swing our hands back and forth gently as we walked. I'm not sure she even noticed she was doing it. It was nice to see her relaxed as we walked and I was glad she apparently trusted me enough to let down her vigilance.

"You still haven't chosen where you want to eat," I reminded her as we approached the first restaurant.

"Definitely pizza," she said enthusiastically. She released my hand as we entered the pizza place. I felt the calmness rush away and noticed that she shivered at the same time. It seemed like the weird peace connection we shared grew more intense the longer we were in contact. We approached the counter and waited in the line to order.

"Do you want to eat here or take it back to my place?" I asked her as we waited. She turned away from the counter to look at me.

"It'll taste a lot better if I eat it here," she said hesitantly. "You know, hot out of the oven and all."

"That's fine with me, Bella. No smelling pizza for a week in my apartment," I reassured her. She looked confused at my reply. "Our sense of smell isn't just targeted at humans," I whispered to her. Her eyes widened and I worried that I had frightened her somehow.

"You would really smell it for a week if I ate there?" she asked incredulously.

I shrugged as I answered. "I don't know, give or take a day. I was just teasing though. It's no problem if you want to eat in my apartment, Bella," I reassured her.

"No thanks, Jasper. Wouldn't want to torture your sensitive olfactory glands," she quipped as she moved up to order. She grabbed her beverage and we moved to an empty table to wait on her pizza.

I watched her play with the bottle cap to her Coke. She fidgeted in her seat and I wondered what had made her tense again. I missed my ability to read her emotions. She seemed to be moving back and forth between enjoying herself and feeling anxious.

I decided to try to get her talking again in hopes of easing her tension. "Anything good in the paper today?" I asked lightly.

She looked up and shook her head wryly. "Wouldn't know. I passed out on the second page," she answered easily. "I'll have to catch up tomorrow. Good thing nothing much changes, I guess," she said as she reached for her Coke.

Her pizza arrived and I enjoyed watching her savor the smell. I watched with interest as she dug into the greasy looking mess that was her dinner. She was clearly enjoying it, even moaning in delight after the first bite. I couldn't imagine what it would taste like.

"Is it good?" I asked in disbelief. Her eyebrows shot up.

"Of course it's good. It's pizza, Jasper. New York pizza at that," she said emphatically. "There's no better pizza in America," she said waving her slice at me.

"What does it taste like?" I asked, trying to understand the attraction.

Her eyes widened. "Holy shit! You never got to taste pizza, Jasper? You missed out!" she said loudly. She caught herself and looked around to make sure no one had overheard her. I laughed softly at her.

"No foul, Bella, no one's listening," I teased her. "And to answer your question, no, I never had the pleasure of that culinary experience," I said lightly. "No pizza joints in my time." She nodded briefly and went back to sucking down melted cheese. She ate the small pizza quickly and finished her drink. I picked up the trash and threw it away.

"All set?" I asked her as I returned to the table.

"Sure," she answered. "Time to take me to the penthouse, Jasper," she said as she stood up. I looked down quickly, but she caught me trying to avoid her. "It _is_ a penthouse, isn't it?" she asked smugly. I just nodded at her. "No shame, Jasper," she teased. "Like I said about your car, I'd expect nothing less." She started out of the restaurant and I followed her smiling.

Darkness had fallen while she ate and the wind had picked up. She shivered as we headed back down the street to my building. I shrugged out of my jacket and laid it over her shoulders. The street was dark and quiet and no one was likely to notice my lack of outerwear.

"Sorry it isn't warmed up, but at least it's another layer," I said quietly. She shrugged her arms into the leather jacket. It dwarfed her and she pushed the sleeves up to allow her hands out.

"Thanks, it's great," she replied.

She continued walking quietly, but I was pleasantly surprised when her little hand reached out and grasped mine. I heard her sigh as I felt the peace flow between us. We headed into the lobby of my building. I nodded at the night guard on duty. He raised a hand in reply but didn't speak. The building had a reputation for discretion which had been a big selling point to me. We entered the elevator still holding hands and rode to the top in comfortable silence.

I let go of her hand as I pulled my key out and opened the door. She followed me in and let out a low whistle. "Yep, this is about what I expected, Jasper," she said quietly. She walked further into the apartment and looked at the modern furnishings. Her eyes lit up when she saw the kitchen and she walked in to investigate. "Oh what I could do in here," she said reverently as she eyed the high end appliances and granite countertops. "Let me know if you plan on spending a week out of town, I'll cook up a storm," she teased turning toward me.

"You have an open invitation, Bella," I said gently. Her eyes tightened slightly.

"Not necessary, Jasper. I manage to feed myself on a regular basis," she said as she looked away. I sighed in frustration as I watched her shut down again. I reminded myself how isolated she had been for the last two years and resolved to be more patient with her mood swings. I followed her into the living room and reached to help her out of the jackets she was wearing.

She didn't speak but moved to sit down on the couch. It was a big overstuffed monstrosity that didn't really fit with the décor, but I insisted on having a comfortable place to sit and read. "Nice couch," she whispered.

"Thanks, I picked it myself," I said as I sat next to her. "It was comfortable and I knew Alice would have hated it," I teased.

A little smile crossed her face at my joke. "No ragging on the ex, Jasper. It's in bad taste," she said without heat. I rubbed my shirt sleeves absently as I struggled to think of something to lift her mood.

I heard a gasp and looked up at Bella. "What's wrong?" I asked quickly.

She looked sheepish. "Oh nothing. I just noticed we have matching scars," she said holding up her arm. I looked down and noticed that one of the many crescent shaped scars on my arm was visible. "I didn't know you guys could get scars," she continued. "How'd you get it?" she said reaching out for my arm. She turned my arm toward the light to look closer and caught a glimpse of the many overlapping scars that covered most of my body.

"Jasper, what happened to you," she whispered as she pushed my sleeve up further.

I laid my hand over hers to stop her. "I got it the same way you got yours, Sweetheart," I said, the endearment slipping out. "It's a long story, Bella, but the short answer is that I got bitten by a lot of vampires."

Her heart raced and she looked at me with huge eyes. "Tell me the long story, Jasper. I want to know." I slowly moved our hands off my arm. She made no move to take her hand away, so I squeezed it lightly and sighed. I let the peace wash over me and began speaking.

I told her of the memories I had of my human life as a rising star in the Confederate Army. I told her about meeting Maria and how I was turned. I explained the horror that was my existence for those long years in the South. I mentioned Peter and how he had returned and offered me a more peaceful life in the North.

I briefly described the depression that continued to plague me after I left Maria and my attempt to limit my feeding on humans. I noticed my voice sounded flat, similar to the way she had spoken when she told me her story. I described meeting Alice and the relief I had felt when she explained her vision of the Cullens.

"You pretty much know it from there, Bella. I embraced the idea of their lifestyle, but I struggled with my bloodlust after my century of feeding on humans. So much of their energy was devoted to keeping me in line," I sighed, shaking my head.

I released her hand and leaned forward over my knees, lost in a thousand bad memories. I didn't notice her moving and was shocked when I felt her hand over mine on my leg. She had moved closer to me and I savored the warmth from her little body pressing into my side. I felt the peace from our contact, but it couldn't block my shame.

I didn't look at her as I spoke. "I don't know how you sit in the same room as me, Bella. I attacked you and ruined your life. I've told you about the countless lives I've taken, human and vampire alike, and here you sit as if I'm not a monster."

I felt her slide off the couch, but she didn't move her hand from on top of mine. She knelt on the floor in front of me and looked up into my face. She was trembling slightly and I could hear her rapid heart rate.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you, Jasper," she said. I began to shake my head at her, apologizing to me when I was the one guilty of unspeakable things. She saw I was about to interrupt and cut me off.

"You know when you told me not to call myself a whore?" she asked quickly. I nodded at her, unsure where she was leading the conversation. "Well, I don't want to hear you call yourself a monster. Those are things that you did, Jasper. They aren't who you are, and they don't define you," she said firmly. I opened my mouth, but no words came.

"And another thing," she continued. "You _tried_ to attack me. Your family stopped you; you never laid a finger on me. Nothing you did injured me," she said in a louder voice. "If Edward hadn't pushed me into that stupid table, I wouldn't have had a scratch," she finished. I was startled when she giggled. "Well, I guess I did have a scratch, since that caused the whole mess," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Anyway, my point is this. I can't take away the guilt you feel because your instincts took over that night. I don't blame you for it and I'll tell you I forgive you if that's what you need to hear," she said as she squeezed my hand. "But you have no responsibility for the rest of it. Edward chose to leave me, not you. Victoria chose to kill my family, not you. You don't own that, they do."

Her voice vibrated with sincerity and her eyes shown with unshed tears. I was struck by the strength and wisdom packaged into the little woman kneeling in front of me. I reached down and moved her up to sit on the couch as I slid to the floor, reversing our positions. I held both her hands as I finally found the words I needed to say.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," I began with a sigh. A brief smile tugged at my lips as she began to interrupt and I put my finger up. "Let me finish," I scolded gently. She nodded and I continued. "You can't forgive me until I apologize. So I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry I lost control that night and tried to kill you. I'm grateful that you forgive me, but I think I'll always feel responsible," I said slowly.

She sighed in frustration and looked away. "OK, then we're going to have to agree to disagree," she said stubbornly. "I can't tell you what you're not ready to hear," she finished, tugging on my arm gently. I guessed that she was trying to get me off the floor, so I moved back to the couch. She reached out and took my arm again, looking closely at the overlapping scars. She pushed my sleeve up further to see more and I didn't move to stop her, just enjoying the warmth of her touch on my skin.

I watched her eyes as she began to trace the feathery pattern gently with a finger. I was unable to guess her thoughts as she frowned. I'd been living with my scars for a long time and wasn't too sensitive about them, but Alice and my "family" had just ignored them for the most part. It felt odd for someone to look at them so intently, and it was shocking to feel someone touching them so deliberately.

"Did it hurt?" she finally asked, frowning even more. "I remember the pain when James bit me. Did it hurt like that every time they bit you?" she continued.

I shook my head to reassure her. "No, Bella. It doesn't cause that excruciating pain to another vampire. It stings like hell, but it's nothing like being turned."

"Good," she whispered as she moved away to recline on the couch. "I was thinking that they make kind of a beautiful pattern. Almost like body art," she said absently as she settled back. I gave a short laugh. Mentally I was reeling at her statement that the physical reminders of my past were beautiful.

"I've never thought of it like that Bella. Vampire tattoos, I'll make a fortune," I teased, trying to lift the somber mood.

She smiled and raised her eyebrows in a silent question. "I'm not ready to go home yet, do you have any movies?" she asked.

I nodded, glad she didn't want to leave yet. "Sure, Bella. You can choose a DVD, or if you want something new, we can order it off the cable box.

She gave a small smile. "You choose something, Jasper. I haven't seen a movie in so long, anything will be good."

"OK," I replied as I stood up.

I picked the first thing I touched, the most recent James Bond film. I heard her stand while the movie loaded. "Where's your bathroom, Jasper? I'm going to christen it for you," she teased. I showed her where it was and waited in the kitchen. She came out a few minutes later.

"Are you thirsty, Bella?" I asked as she headed to the couch. "I didn't think to pick anything up for you, but I do have water and glasses."

"Water's great. Thanks," she said as she stifled a yawn. I filled a glass and brought it to her. She took a few sips and then reclined back onto the couch. I tossed her a pillow and she placed it under her head and turned on her side. We both watched as the movie started, but within fifteen minutes I could tell from her regular breaths that she was sleeping. I was unsure how she would feel about staying here and decided I'd better ask her to avoid incurring her wrath in the morning. I moved over and gently nudged her.

"Bella, do you want me to take you home? You can sleep in my bed if you want to stay, but I'm glad to drive you home if you want."

She barely opened her eyes as she muttered, "Here's fine." I helped her stand up and she leaned heavily on me as I led her to my bedroom. It was awkward because her head barely reached my chest, so I scooped her up and carried her quickly into the room, sitting her on the edge of the bed.

"I'll grab you a t-shirt if you want," I offered as I moved to my dresser. She just nodded sleepily so I grabbed a long sleeved shirt for her. I tossed it to her gently and she stood up and walked slowly into my bathroom to change. I turned down the bed for her, thinking that it was the first time it would be used.

She stumbled out of the bathroom and I caught her easily. I guided her toward the bed and she climbed in. I tucked the covers around her as she snuggled into the down pillows. "Good night, Bella," I whispered.

" G'night, Jasper," she barely mumbled back. I smiled as I walked out of the room, listening to her steady breathing.

I grabbed the book I had been reading before running into Bella at the bar and settled down to read. Several hours passed before I heard her heart rate pick up. I was already standing when I heard her cry out. "No!" I rushed into the bedroom as she continued to cry "No, No," over and over. Her body was still, but she was obviously having another powerful nightmare. I gently lifted her limp frame into my arms and rocked her for a moment. "Wake up, Bella. It's a dream," I said firmly. She opened her eyes slowly, clearly startled to find herself in my arms.

"OK, now?" I asked as she frowned at me. She nodded and I let her lay back down. I wrapped the comforter back around her and moved to stand up.

"Stay with me?" she asked softly.

"Sure, Sweetheart," I answered. "I'll be right back." I retrieved my book from the couch and settled in next to her on the bed. I felt her hand inching toward me so I reached out to meet hers under the covers. Her breathing settled as the tranquility washed over us and she drifted back to sleep while I held her hand for the second night in a row.

LONG ASS AN-

LIE= Long Island Expressway- major highway from Manhattan out to Long Island. Often resembles a parking lot.

LIRR= Long Island Railroad- commuter rail from Manhattan to Long Island.

Sorry for the slightly longer wait on this update, mynx and I have been really busy in real life. Thanks for your patience!

Mynxi, thanks for all that you do! You've taught me so much in our month together! You just rock!

Thanks for all the alerts and favorites and most of all, the lovely reviews! We busted 100 after the last posting! They really make my day, I love knowing what you think!

So we moved into more present tense, how did I do? Let me know!

OK, now for a tiny bit of bad news. I'm going out of town with my 2 small children for 10 days. I will be working on the next chapter, but I anticipate slow going! We may be looking at 2 weeks for the next update. I'll do my best to make that shorter, but no promises! I am 100% committed to finishing this fic out to its end, I promise I won't drop off the face of the earth!


	6. Chapter 6

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer. **

OK, I'm back!!! Thank you for your patience, sorry it took so long! Long ass author note to follow!

Mynxi is my beta. I am grateful to her for tackling the mess that is this chapter.

Chapter Six

**BPOV**

I was dreaming about swinging on a swing set. Higher and higher I swung, until my feet touched the blue sky. It was the greatest feeling- leaning backwards on the way up, then feeling the bottom of my stomach dropping out as I swung back down. I closed my eyes and smiled into the sunshine.

"Bella," someone said quietly. I frowned, unwilling to let go of the feeling from my dream. "Bella, I'm sorry, but you need to wake up." The smooth voice was firmer this time.

I felt cool fingers moving gently between my own and began to drag myself into an alert state. Opening one eye, I peeked above the down comforter wrapped snugly around me. Jasper was reclined on the bed next to me, his hand lying between our bodies. I frowned slightly as I became aware that my entire body was practically wrapped around his right arm, both of my hands squeezing his.

I watched the corners of his eyes wrinkle slightly as he smiled at my expression. "Good morning, Sleepyhead," he teased gently. "I was beginning to think you were going to dream the day away. I started 'poking' you an hour ago, but you were totally out," he chuckled as he pretended to pinch my nose.

"Sorry, Jasper," I said sheepishly, releasing his hand and slowly sitting up. "What time is it, anyway?" I mumbled and stretched. "It's only seven o'clock, Bella," he answered as he stood up and turned to look at me again. "I'm sorry I had to wake you so early, but the sun is going to come out this afternoon. I need to get moving so I can go hunt before I become 'conspicuous'," he said, smiling and making air quotes with his fingers.

"No problem. Just let me get dressed and I'll be out of your way," I said as I tried to figure out where my clothes were. I was heartily regretting choosing to stay here rather than going home last night. I'd had a great night's sleep, but now I was feeling anxious and awkward.

Jasper shook his head at me. "Slow down, slow down," he chided. "We have a little time before we have to rush out the door. I thought you might like to shower while I go round you up a cup of coffee and something to eat," he suggested hesitantly.

I realized that he was probably feeling uncomfortable this morning too. We were both accustomed to being loners, and last night's revelations hung heavily between us.

Desperate to mask my nervousness, I forced my mouth into a small smile. "A shower sounds great, thanks," I said lightly. "I'll be ready by the time you're back and I can eat in the car," I suggested, hoping to make a quick escape from this uncomfortable situation. "You know, since you have the interior protection plan and all."

He grinned widely at my car joke. "You're welcome to do your worst to the poor car, Bella, but we have plenty of time for you to eat here if you'd rather," he said, turning away and bending over to pick up a pair of shoes from his closet. _Oh my God, what an ass he has!_ I gasped as the thought raced through my brain, and I coughed quickly to cover the sound. My face burned, and I knew he could hear my heart pounding. I prayed he would just assume I was embarrassed about holding his hand all night.

"You OK, Bella?" He turned around to look as I was sputtering. "Oh yeah, just choking on air," I managed to mumble, as I forced the image of Jasper's perfect denim clad butt out of my brain.

"That was quite a cough," he continued as he stood up to leave the room. "Maybe you should stop smoking," he suggested, raising an eyebrow. _Thank God, he just thinks I'm my old "too clumsy to breathe" self,_ I mentally cheered. "Thanks for the health tip, Mr. Surgeon General," I snarked back at him, grateful for the chance to put my mental armor on.

"Now why don't you go do something useful and go get me my breakfast so I can get out of this bed without flashing you," I snapped. "I'll have a large coffee, lots of milk, no sugar, and an everything bagel with cream cheese," I finished in a bitchy tone.

He just smiled calmly back at me. "I'll get right on it, Miss Bella," he drawled out. I began to feel bad for being short with him, but his expression was relaxed as he backed out the door. "I wouldn't want to compromise your modesty," he teased as he turned to leave. "Thanks, Jasper," I said softly to his receding back, knowing he would hear me.

"It's no problem, Sweetheart," he answered without looking at me. "You'll feel better once you have your coffee, I'm sure," he called from the front door. _Wiseass,_ I mentally answered back as I put my head in my hands.

What a disaster. Instead of keeping my distance, I ended up hearing his confession, staying the night with him, drooling all over his hand, and ogling his ass! _Get a grip, Bella. Time to shower,_ I told myself. I needed to move forward and get this morning over with so Jasper could get on his way and I could try to rediscover my sense of self preservation.

I made my way into the bathroom and noticed my clothes were folded neatly on the counter. I checked out the impressive multi-head shower stall with a sigh. Too bad I didn't have time to do it justice today. I showered quickly, borrowing the musky body wash that was in there. The scent of Jasper's soap filled the bathroom and I felt more relaxed. I kept my hair out of the spray for the most part, not wanting to worry about combing and drying it. I had no idea if Jasper owned a hair dryer, and I didn't want to snoop in his bathroom looking for one.

I dressed in my clothes from the day before and finger combed my messy hair. I hastily made the bed, trying to avoid the thought of me clinging desperately to Jasper's hand while I slept. Remembering that I had a hair tie in my jacket pocket, I made my way out to the living area, trying to remember where Jasper had put my coat last night. I was unwilling to open closet doors to search while he wasn't home, so I began checking kitchen drawers for something that might be useful in taming my hair.

Jasper must have bought the place furnished, because there were basic utensils in the drawers. I debated the usefulness of a butter knife as a hair anchor when I stumbled upon a pair of chopsticks. I quickly pulled my hair up into a messy bun as I heard the door open. I watched as Jasper walked in, laying a coffee cup and a paper bag on the bar.

His long blond hair was in his face again and I wondered if it bothered him or if he was used to it by now. My fingers itched to brush it aside for him, and I mentally slapped myself for ogling him again. I didn't understand my sudden fascination with him. Like all vampires, he was gorgeous, but I was around hot guys all the time at work and never had trouble focusing like this.

It must be because we're spending all this time together having "heart to heart" conversations that was causing me to become aware of him physically. I just wasn't used to spending this much time with anyone, much less someone who looked like Jasper. Whatever the cause, I had to put a lid on this immediately. It wasn't healthy for me to obsess over someone who was probably already on his way out of my life, and it would be mortifying if he were to pick up on my emotions somehow.

I pulled myself into my work persona and hoped I was projecting more confidence than I felt. "I helped myself to your chopsticks, I figured you wouldn't miss them," I quipped, pointing to my hair. He chuckled and shrugged. "You can help yourself to anything you find in the kitchen, Bella. It all came with the place, so I guess the previous owners must have been fans of Asian cuisine," he teased, offering me the coffee from the bar.

I brought the cup to my nose and savored the aroma of the coffee before I took a sip. Good coffee deserved to be relished, and I refused to rush this cup despite my anxiety to leave. Sitting down on a bar stool to open the bag he brought back, I found my bagel as ordered, even toasted to perfection. I raised it toward Jasper in a silent salute of thanks before digging in.

"So what are your plans for the day today?" he asked as I ate. I finished chewing and took a long sip of coffee before answering. The reality was that I hated my days off. There were too many unoccupied hours, which meant too much time to remember and too much time to worry about the future. "Not much. I have a few errands to run this afternoon, but the rest of the day is a blank slate," I replied evenly. "Maybe I'll stay conscious through the rest of yesterday's paper," I said more perkily as my coffee began to kick in.

"Where will you be off to for your 'snack'?" I asked in a light tone. His eyes lit briefly with excitement. "I'm going to try someplace new today. I've been sticking to Long Island, but I'm getting sick of deer, and I might actually be making a dent in their population," he admitted sheepishly. "I'm going to try heading upstate a bit to see if there's any more interesting wildlife there."

"That's good, Jasper. A varied diet is important, you know," I said solemnly. He laughed out loud at my lame joke and I couldn't keep myself from smiling back at him. His happiness was becoming infectious, despite my attempts to keep my distance. I turned my attention back to my bagel and finished my last few bites.

Draining the last sip of my coffee, I sighed, "all done," in satisfaction. I gathered my trash to throw away. "Let's get this show on the road, Whitlock," I teased as I turning away from the trash can behind the bar. "Where'd you hide my coat last night, anyway?"

I rolled my eyes as I noticed he was swinging my jacket from one of his fingers. I stalked toward him and grabbed my jacket, continuing past him, not saying a word. I made my way out the front door. I felt the air move around me as I walked and gasped as he appeared in front of me wearing a silly smirk on his face. It was the first time since we'd bumped into each other that he had displayed his true abilities, and the reminder of vampire speed left me breathless with surprise.

As I tried to regulate my breathing, I began to notice how close he was standing, which was less than helpful to my air intake. I noticed the way his t-shirt clung to his chest where his jacket was open and I caught a faint whiff of his soap, realizing that I smelled the same way. I forced a deep breath into my lungs and closed my eyes, struggling to regain control of my brain. I could not allow myself to think about Jasper this way.

A look of concern crossed his face as he noticed my reaction. "Shit, Bella, I didn't think. I'm sorry I scared you," he said as he absently reached up to rub the back of his neck. I grabbed at his misconception, thankful for an easy excuse for my pathetic human reaction to him. "No problem, Jasper. I wasn't really scared, just startled a little."

His face relaxed and he turned to lock the door. "Good, but I'll try to be more careful," he promised as he led the way down the hallway to the elevator. We silently made our way to the garage, but thankfully it didn't feel awkward. He opened the car door for me, grinning when I rolled my eyes at him. In a flash he was seated behind the wheel.

There was morning traffic in Midtown, but things cleared out as Jasper headed toward my neighborhood. I realized I was getting accustomed to the sensation of riding in a car again, no longer clutching the door handle every time Jasper accelerated or braked.

We were both quiet as he drove, but he kept sneaking quick glances at me. It seemed as if he was stopping himself from saying something. Reminding myself of my plan to keep things superficial, I forced myself to ignore him. Our comfortable silence was beginning to grow tense and I was glad we were almost to my building.

As we turned onto my street he gave a small sigh and I started to lose my resolve to pretend there was nothing going on. He obviously wanted to say something and it felt wrong to disregard him, especially after he had shared so much with me last night. I mentally groaned and began to talk before I could change my mind.

"Spill it, Jasper," I said without heat. He turned to look at me in surprise. "You clearly have something to say, so let's hear it," I continued, looking down at my lap.

He pulled the car to a stop in front of my building, but left the engine running. I noticed his right hand moving slowly toward my left and I looked up at him. "Can I, Bella?" he asked, nodding his head toward my hand. "I have something I want to say to you, but sometimes I worry you're going to run away if I push too much," he admitted. "I think our touch thing we have going on will help. We'll feel calmer, so I don't get pushy and you don't shut down."

I didn't answer him, but reached my hand out toward his. Our fingers touched and the peace began to ebb up around us. My fingers closed tightly around his reflexively, and I couldn't stop a sigh at the pleasant sensation of his cool skin against mine in the middle of that serenity. Turning my head to look up at him, I was struck at how relaxed he looked now. His eyes were still amber, but they seemed lighter, as if a shadow had been lifted from them.

"Okay, _now_ spill it, Jasper," I repeated gently with a small smile. He nodded at me and squeezed my hand. "I want to say so much, Bella," he began, "but I'll start by saying 'Thank you' for last night. I haven't spoken about my past in a long time because talking about it brings the guilt back, but you made it better. I know I'm still responsible for my actions, but I don't feel eaten alive by the shame of it. I really needed that," he finished with a tight smile.

My breath caught at his words. This exquisite, invincible creature sitting next to me had needed something and I had given it without even trying. I felt a surge of guilt at the way I was pushing him away, for my own sake, when maybe he needed a friend as badly as I did.

I shook my head slightly at him. "You can thank me if you want to, but I didn't tell you anything other than the truth. Now, I figure you're not afraid I'll run away from a 'Thank you', so when do we get to the part where you get pushy?" I asked, looking down at our hands. Tracing over his fingers with my free hand, I waited for him to speak, enjoying the smoothness of his cool hand.

I looked up and saw that he was watching our hands, so I stopped my movements. I opened my mouth to apologize, but he spoke first. "No, don't stop," he said quickly. "I just get distracted by how good your warm hands feel." Nodding, I resumed my random movements over our entwined fingers.

"So here goes the pushy part, Bella," he began again. "I just ask that you give me chance to finish talking before you head for the hills," he teased. I didn't laugh at his attempt at humor, instead nodding at him to carry on. "Bella, I'm hoping you'll let me come by again tonight after the sun's out of the way. I'm going to feel anxious about you all afternoon, and to be honest, if you won't let me come in, I'll be watching your building from outside. I could do it without telling you, but I don't want be less than honest with you." He spoke rapidly, as if he feared I would literally run from him.

"I don't mind keeping watch outside at all, Bella," he continued, "but the truth is, I really enjoy your company, and I was hoping we could hang out again." I sighed as I felt torn between preserving my hard won self sufficiency and seizing the opportunity to enjoy being in the company of another person. I changed my answer a hundred times in the seconds before I replied.

"Pick me up here when you can, Jasper," I mumbled, looking away from him and removing my hand gently from his. The peace flowed away as our contact was broken, and my resolve to spend more time with Jasper wavered. I forced myself to tamp down my selfish desire to avoid him and looked back at him.

His amber eyes almost gleamed as I took in his relieved smile. It felt good to know I was making him happy, although I was quite surprised that he could really enjoy spending time with me that much. He had always seemed like such a solitary person in Forks, but the more time we spent together, the more I wondered how much of that solitude had been voluntary.

I gave myself a mental shake and moved to open the car door. "Okay, Sparkle Boy," I teased. "Get your ass in gear before the sun comes out and you cause some sort of incident." Before I could open the door, it pulled away from my hand, and I gasped as I took in his form leaning over to help me out.

"I hope you checked to make sure no one's watching," I managed to say as he helped me to stand. He rolled his eyes at me. "Just following your directions, Bella. You said to get my ass in gear," he deadpanned as we walked to the building.

"You really don't have to walk me up, Jasper. Your car will probably get stolen and you'll be stuck inside on a sunny day with no snack," I warned as we headed up the stairs. He shook his head sadly at me. "Bella, I'll be worried about you the entire time I'm gone. The least I can do is make sure you get inside the apartment without incident," he sighed as we approached my door.

I was touched by his worry about me, but my independent side prickled at his words. "Don't be such a pussy," I snapped. "This is a low risk day for me. The sun's coming out, so even if Victoria's in the neighborhood she'll be stuck inside." I wrenched the key around in the lock. "My chances at surviving the afternoon are good, even without your _protection_," I sneered.

He made no reply, and in the silence I felt ashamed of my harsh words. I looked down at the floor and forced myself to speak, although my true desire was to walk through the door and away from the complications that Jasper caused. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "You didn't deserve that. This is hard for me." I shrugged my shoulders and turned to look at him.

He reached out and pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. "It's okay, Bella," he said quietly. "I don't scare away easily." He pushed the door open for me. "You'll have to do worse than call me names to get me out of here," he finished wryly.

"I'll be back for you after the sun is low enough for me to avoid any attention," he said, turning to make his way toward the stairs. "I'll see you then," I answered. "Enjoy your new hunting grounds," I murmured as I closed the door and leaned against it, suddenly exhausted.

"Walk of shame this morning, Bella?" I snapped to attention, startled by the sound of Andy's voice. He was standing at the kitchen counter, stuffing what appeared to be a large wad of cash into an envelope. He noticed me looking at the money and quickly finished. "This one is best filed under 'Don't ask, Don't tell' Bella," he said in a final tone.

I was surprised at his attitude this morning. We often went long periods without speaking much, but we had always been civil, and he was usually quite kind to me. "It's not a walk of shame when the guy walks you to the door, Andy. Anyway, it's not like that. I just fell asleep during a movie and decided I'd rather sleep there than have him drive me back here. I left you a note, _Dad,_ so quit acting like I'm a kid who missed curfew," I demanded as I walked further into the apartment toward him.

I took in his tiny pupils and the way he seemed to be jumping out of his skin and sighed. It was way too early for him to be messed up already. "You wanna tell me what's going on?" I asked him as I approached the kitchen.

He stared at me for a moment before turning abruptly away and grabbing his jacket. "Back off, Bella. This is a hard time for me," he muttered,stalking toward the door. He left without another word to me, closing the door and locking it behind him.

_Great, another complication,_ I thought to myself as I headed to my bedroom. I stripped out of yesterday's clothes and pulled on some comfy sweats. Despite my good night's sleep last night and my worry over Andy's strange behavior, I was exhausted and a nap was calling my name. I wrapped myself up in my many blankets and was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

**JPOV**

Climbing into the car, I turned the ignition with a small smile on my face. I was starting to get used to smiling more often since I had found Bella on Friday. I hadn't realized how isolated I had been feeling, but being around Bella reminded me how nice it was to interact with another person on a regular basis. Even though her hot and cold reactions to me were confusing, I enjoyed the element of surprise she brought to my days.

I maneuvered the car toward the George Washington Bridge, zipping in and out around slower vehicles. I was looking forward to hunting some carnivores, and I didn't want to wait in traffic. I replayed the events of last night and this morning as I crossed the bridge and headed north toward the Catskills.

Keeping up with Bella's emotions was proving difficult without my enhanced abilities, but I was starting to learn to read her facial expressions and body language. I was still surprised at the way she had held my hand as we walked to dinner. She had seemed so at ease last night that her moodiness today had startled me. She had been so calm and accepting of my past, but this morning she had clearly been uncomfortable.

I was relieved that she had agreed to let me come back tonight. I had been worried that she would be pissed when I told her I wanted to watch out for her, but it had gone better than I had expected. I was sure that the calm from our touch had influenced her decision. I still had no explanation for that phenomenon, but I was grateful for it, especially since she could block me so well from reading her emotions.

Her reaction to my comment about walking her to the door had been so volatile that I had momentarily felt her anger lash out at me before she controlled herself. She seemed to be blocking my ability by pushing her emotions down. I would pick up a quick burst of her feelings when she was upset, but it always disappeared when she pulled herself together.

Her unsolicited apology had actually surprised me more than her outburst. I could only imagine what it had cost her pride to back away from the tough image she was trying to present to herself and the world. Her experiences had made her harder, but I was learning she was the same gentle person deep inside.

The overcast skies were starting to lighten as I located the entrance to the state park I was looking for. Parking the car, I headed onto the trail to preserve appearances. After a few paces I headed off the trail, hoping for the scent of a mountain lion. I didn't have much time today, thanks to the sunny forecast, but I was in luck.

Picking up the scent, I followed it deeper into the forest, finding my target in a small clearing. He was a beautiful male cat, not yet fully mature. I approached him silently since I didn't have the time for a good fight. He sensed me at the last second and tried to spring away, but I quickly grabbed him and took him down. I fed rapidly and manipulated the remains to make the animal's death look natural. Scavengers would quickly take care of most of the evidence, but it didn't hurt to be thorough.

I headed back to the car at vampire speed, noticing the clouds were beginning to thin. Making my way quickly back toward Manhattan, I enjoyed the sensation of driving a Porsche the way it was meant to be driven. I walked into my building just as the faintest hint of sunlight began to filter through the tall buildings around me.

I shook my head at the close call. I was going to have to pay closer attention to the weather now that Bella was around. I hated the fact that the sunlight would sometimes prevent me from protecting her, but she was correct that at least Victoria would be hampered in the same way.

I logged on to check my e-mail and was glad to find a report from Jenks waiting. I knew he would call me later to check for new instructions, but in the meantime I was eager to learn what he had discovered. I scanned Jenks' report quickly, relieved at what I read.

The investigations into the deaths of Bella's family and her disappearance were all dead ends. The police had theorized that someone Charlie had arrested in the past might have been out for revenge, but it was considered unlikely. One investigator had made a note to speak with Bella's boyfriend since his family had left so near the time of the murder. However, after interviewing Bella's classmates, it was deemed not worth investigating further. By all accounts, Edward and Bella had been happy, and the Cullens were too well respected to accuse lightly.

In the end, investigators had concluded that Bella had been kidnapped and that she had probably been murdered soon after. Renee and Phil's car accident had been ruled a terrible coincidence. No further actions were planned on any of the cases.

I was proud of Bella for hiding so well. She had so few resources at her disposal, but she had pulled off a perfect disappearance. Closing the document, I smiled as my cell phone vibrated. I glanced at the screen and answered.

"Impeccable timing, Jenks. I just finished reading the report you sent me," I said in greeting. "I try my best, Mr. Whitlock," he replied smoothly.

"Do you have any further instructions on the matter?" he asked hopefully. I smiled as I imagined the dollar signs he was likely seeing in his head.

"As a matter of fact, Jenks, I do. I need you to start building an identity for Isabel Sanders," I told him, spelling it out. "She'll need an ID of course, but also a social security number. She's also going to need a high school diploma and some tax records, but you can wait on that for now."

I realized it would be hard enough to get Bella to accept my help with an ID, much less school records, but I planned to be prepared. Jenks repeated my instructions back to me and told me he'd get started right away. I ended the call and moved to lay the phone down when it vibrated again.

I sighed when I saw the number. I didn't answer, letting it go to voicemail. Within seconds there was a beep indicating a new text message. I groaned and opened the text. _Ansr the fon Whitlock._ The phone began to vibrate with a new call before I even finished reading. Angrily I pushed send and prepared myself to take the call.

"Where's the fire, Peter?" I snapped into the phone. "Whoa, soldier," he drawled back at me. "No fire, I'm just gettin' weird vibes about you, and figured I'd check in on ya."

I rolled my eyes at the thick accent. Peter could speak as neutrally as I did, but he always picked up an accent again when he and Charlotte headed south.

"I'm fine, Peter. Consider me checked on and let me get on with my day," I growled. "So you're not gonna tell me who the blast from the past is," he whined back. I ran my hand through my hair. Damn Peter and his sixth sense and nose for gossip.

"No Pete, not yet," I sighed. "No joking, this is serious. I'll tell you more once things are a little more settled, but I don't want you butting in yet," I said loudly, hoping somehow he would pick up on the sincerity behind my demand.

"Okay, Major," he drawled back. "I'll back off for now, but I'm gonna expect details the next time we chat," he warned. "Char and I are headed over to Russia for a little vacay, but we were hopin' to catch up with ya when we get back in a month or so," he finished.

"Yeah, Peter, that sounds good. By then I should be able to explain it to you." I hoped my answer was the truth. "Okay, I'll be in touch. Stay out of trouble, I think you'll be seein' more faces from the past," he said cryptically before hanging up on me.

I rubbed my face, glad that Peter hadn't pushed too much. I definitely wanted a chance to get on a better footing with Bella before Peter started nosing around her. I smiled at the thought of Bella meeting Peter. It would be interesting if it ever happened. I wasn't sure how she would feel about it, and there was no way I would let him intrude on her without her permission.

The glint of sunlight off my marble arm caught my eye. Stupid sparkling skin. For the millionth time I wondered what evolutionary advantage glittering was supposed to be. I decided to take a shower to get rid of the smell of cat that lingered from my hunt.

As I stepped into the shower I was hit with the scent of Bella and my soap. The musky scent brought the image of her washing into my mind unbidden. I quickly forced my thoughts elsewhere. The last thing I needed was to start fantasizing about Bella. I was sure that if she thought I was hitting on her she would head for the hills without looking back.

After I showered I threw on jeans and a long sleeved grey T-shirt. I headed back into the living room and grabbed a random book to kill the time until I could pick Bella up. I hadn't been lying when I told her I enjoyed her company this morning.

She had a biting sense of humor and I never knew what she would say next. She constantly surprised me with her reactions. She laughed when I thought she would scream and I never knew what would piss her off. Her personality was a mystery, but I was enjoying the process of getting to know her.

I forced myself back to the book and finally the time began to pass. As the sunlight began to fade I smiled and put my book down. Looking out the window, I was pleased to see that it was late enough for me to pick Bella up without causing an incident. I grabbed my car keys and headed out to the garage with a smile on my face.

As I pulled up to her building, parking in my typical spot, I mentally crossed my fingers about leaving my car again and went inside. Bella answered quickly when I knocked. Immediately I realized something was wrong. Her face was red and her eyelashes were damp with tears. Her heart was pounding and she was almost trembling with emotion.

"What's wrong?" I demanded as I rushed into the apartment. Without thinking, I reached out and pulled her closer to me in a hug. She didn't resist and actually rested her head against my chest for a moment. I closed my eyes for as I felt the warmth from her contact and inhaled her sweet scent. I mentally frowned as I noticed her scent was faintly different. It wasn't drugs or alcohol, but something had altered the way her blood smelled.

"It's nothing, Jasper," she sighed as she raised her head to look at me. "Something's up with Andy, and he's being a real asshole," she said sadly, leading me further into the apartment by the hand. "He was a jerk when I got home this morning, and he was rude again when he left this afternoon." I frowned at the thought of him hurting her feelings.

"I'm sorry he upset you, Bella," I said, moving my hand from hers to brush the hair away from her face. She shrugged her shoulders. "What's on the agenda for this evening?" she asked in a cheerful tone that sounded forced. "I thought I'd leave it up to you, Bella," I answered with a shrug. "Your place, my place, movie… whatever you feel like doing," I added as I watched her.

She thought for a moment, chewing her lip absently. "Let's just go to your place again," she finally answered. "I wanna get out of here, but I'm not in the mood for popcorn."

She walked toward her room and called over her shoulder, "Just let me grab a few things in case I pass out again." "Take your time, Bella," I answered softly. I hated to see her so upset and I wondered what exactly Andy had said to disturb her so much. I walked over to lean on the kitchen counter as I waited for Bella to finish.

I noticed a large plastic shopping bag was precariously close to falling off the counter and I reached out to push it back. As I moved it, I noticed it was full of unused syringes. I assumed they were for Andy and wondered why he didn't put them away.

Bella came out of her room with her backpack and noticed me looking at the bag. She gave me a strange look and I realized it looked like I was snooping. "I'm sorry, Bella. The bag was falling so I moved it back," I began to explain. She shook her head at me and gave a tiny smile.

"Sure, Jasper," she said sarcastically. "I guess it's only fair since I went through your entire kitchen." Her smile faded as she continued. "I just wish he had taken them with him. I pick them up for him at a clinic, but he didn't take what I brought him today."

She hesitated briefly and then reached for the bag. "I'll hang it on his door knob," she said firmly, walking toward his room. She returned quickly and shrugged into her jacket. Her movement caused her scent to drift toward me. I frowned as I noticed the difference again. She saw my expression and raised her eyebrows.

"What, do I have something on my face?" she asked quickly. I smiled at her in reassurance. "No, you just smell different, and I can't figured out why," I admitted. She looked confused and turned her head to smell her hair. I laughed gently as I corrected her. "No, not your outside _smells_, your _scent_," I tried to explain.

Her eyes widened slightly and she began to blush. "What?" I demanded in a teasing tone. "Do you know what it is?" I asked as she blushed harder. She nodded her head and bent down to pick up her backpack. "Well, what is it, Bella? You have to tell me, wondering about it is driving me crazy!"

She looked up at me and heaved a big breath. "Any chance you'll just let it go?" she asked hopefully. "Not after you're making such a big deal out of it, Sweetheart," I quipped back. She huffed at me in frustration. "I got a shot today, Jasper. You probably just smell that." I frowned at her in surprise.

"What kind of shot, Bella? Are you sick?" I asked with concern, although I hadn't noticed any symptoms of illness. "No, I'm not sick. It's a birth control shot, okay? You probably smell the hormones" she admitted. "I get it just in case, you know?" She spoke quietly, rubbing her left shoulder. I picked up the scent of a Band-Aid and realized that must have been where she had the injection.

"In case of what, Bella?" I asked softly. She looked down at her feet without answering, and I realized she meant in case she had to have sex for shelter or money again.

I reached over to lift her chin so I could see her face. "Bella, I hope you mean in case you meet somebody. Because, there is no other _in case_ you need to worry about," I emphasized. "I understand you don't have a reason to trust me yet, Bella. But you need to know you will _never_ be in a situation where you're forced to make that choice again," I said firmly.

She stepped away from my hands and shook her head. "You don't know that for sure," she whispered. "Shit happens. People die, people leave," she continued angrily. "You can't control what happens in my life, no matter how much you want to."

I reached out to take one of her hands in mine, knowing I would need the extra calm to get her to listen. "I don't want to control your life, Bella," I said honestly. "But now that I've found you, I'm going to make sure you never have to face that choice again. I'll always be there if you need help." I hoped she could feel the truth behind my words.

She looked at me silently with her angry eyes. "Always is a long time, Jasper," she finally ground out with her teeth clenched. I could tell the discussion was over as she pulled away and put her backpack on her shoulders. I decided to let it go for now. I would prove her wrong in the end, but I didn't need to win the argument tonight.

"Let's get out of here, Bella," I said gently. She just nodded her head and followed me to the door. We drove back to my building without any further discussion, but her silence wasn't hostile. We walked to a deli and grabbed a sandwich for her, which she ate quickly as we headed back to my building.

Leading her into the apartment, I took her backpack off her shoulders. "I'll just put this in the bedroom. You can choose a movie if you want," I told her, walking toward my room. She began scrolling through the On Demand choices, and by the time I came back from my room she had chosen the newest version of Pride and Prejudice. 

"I hope you don't mind this," she said when she heard my steps. "I haven't seen this version yet, but I've wanted to since it was out in theaters," she admitted softly. "It's fine, Bella. I haven't seen this one either."

I was surprised when I saw her stand and walk back to my bedroom. I heard her moving around the bathroom and changing her clothes. I was glad she planned on staying over again. She sat beside me on the couch as the movie started. She reached out and gently took my hand. I couldn't help smiling as I felt warmth and peace drift over us.

The movie continued, and Bella drifted slowly closer to me. Finally she sighed and actually snuggled her body against me. I lifted her up and laid a pillow over my lap before positioning her on it. "Don't want you to get cold," I whispered as she mumbled a complaint. I imagined laying on me had to be similar to cuddling a statue, but she seemed to enjoy it.

When the movie was over, Bella stood up and led me back to the bedroom by the hand. She turned to look at me, her question clear in her eyes. "I'll stay, Bella. You go get ready, I'll get a book." She nodded and I went to choose something to read.

We spent the night curled up like last night and no nightmares interrupted her sleep. I finished my book early in the evening, but I enjoyed listening to her regular breathing. I was quickly getting accustomed to the sounds and smells of Bella in my life. I could only hope that I could convince her to let me stick around on a more permanent basis. I had my work cut out for me, but it would be worth it if she agreed.

**Long Ass Author Note!**

**Hey everyone, thanks for waiting on me to get my act together! I used to hate it when writers trash what they wrote, but now I totally understand **** So I wrote this chapter in a state of severe sleep deprivation after being on six different airplanes over ten days. Mynxi has some stuff going on and we decided I should go ahead and post this un-beta'd. She'll make it pretty when life allows and I will fix it and repost. This is not my best work, please don't give up on me if this chapter drove you nuts! That being said, if you didn't hate it, I could REALLY use a pat on the back! I love every review I get and it really makes it easier to keep going when it's hard.**

**Mynxi and Anadabyel, I love you both even though you're going on a date with Jasper without me **

**Thanks to all those who reviewed last chapter. Thanks to BaltiK for suggesting the Catskills as an alternative hunting ground for Jasper! I ended up googling the directions, hope I didn't get him too lost sweetie! **

**4/4/10 P.S. to Long Ass Author Note—So it's beta'd now, thanks to mynxi. Baby, thanks for doing what you do. You rock my word world. **

**Sorry if I was too whiney up there, everyone was really sweet in their reviews! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Twilight characters and plotline are the property of Stephanie Meyer. **

**Mynxi is my beta. She teaches me with red ink ;-) xoxoxo baby!**

Chapter Seven,

**BPOV**

I hummed to myself as I finished my shower. Jasper had just dropped me off from his place and was off to hunt this afternoon. It had been two weeks since Jasper had shown up at the club and we were still seeing each other every day.

We were starting to fall into a sort of routine now. On work nights, Jasper picked me up and escorted me to the club. He hung out there until my shift was over, much to the irritation of the club owner. After work, he would escort me home or to his place. I had insisted on returning to my apartment a couple of times, but Jasper's place was so much closer that it was hard to resist going there after a long night on my feet.

My nights in Jasper's bed were spent alone, unless I had a nightmare. I had forced myself to start sleeping without holding his hand to avoid becoming too dependent, but after a bad dream I couldn't resist the comfort it provided.

In the mornings, Jasper would drop me back at my apartment so he could hunt and I could do my own thing for awhile. I could tell he didn't like leaving me alone, but he knew better than to pester me too much about it.

I started blowing my hair dry, teasing it slightly. After it was dry, I started fooling around with different braids, since I was bored and had time to kill. Tightly twisting small segments of hair and then wrapping them into little coils close to my scalp, I pulled the ends through, leaving little spikes sticking out. I checked my reflection and decided I liked the effect. It would be a lot of work, but it would look good when I finished.

It took a good hour to finish my whole head, but that still left me with a few hours until Jasper would pick me up. I heard the door to the apartment open as Andy returned home. Sighing to myself, I tried to decide if I should go see him or hide in my room. He had been so strange since he had learned about my past. One day he would act normal toward me, the next he would be downright rude.

I hadn't tried to talk to him about his behavior yet, but I was going to have to bring up the issue sooner or later. It just wasn't like him to be nasty to anyone, and the reason for the change in his demeanor was a mystery to me. He was spending more and more time out, and I could count on one hand the number of times I had seen him sober since our big chat. His behavior was really starting to worry me, but it was hard to force myself to confront him.

Deciding to test the waters, I walked out to the living room to check his attitude today. He had collapsed on the couch with his eyes closed. He looked even more haggard than usual, and it was clear he had lost weight over the last week. Clearing my throat, I walked over to the chair. "Is it safe to sit down today, or should I go hide?"

"No worries B, I feel too good to fight today," he answered slowly with his eyes closed. He must be on some sort of depressant today, but at least it had improved his mood. The past few times I had seen him high he had been jumpy and agitated, snapping at me and stalking out of the room.

Slipping into the chair, I struggled to find a neutral way to start a conversation. "Have you noticed how much warmer it is in here lately? I guess someone finally fixed the boiler or something," I blurted out randomly. He cracked one eye at me, catching sight of my hair style for the first time.

He let out a long whistle, but I couldn't tell if he liked it or if he was mocking me. "Fierce hair, Izzy. Channeling your inner punk?" he asked in a drowsy voice.

"Yep, thought I'd try something different. Maybe I'll get better tips," I answered hopefully. "What do you think? I'm gonna go real heavy on the eye makeup, and..." I trailed off as he closed his eyes again, apparently losing interest in the topic of my appearance. "It looks good, Bella. I'm sure you'll figure your makeup out without my help," he mumbled sleepily. His speech was slurred and it looked like he was barely conscious.

"Andy, you're scaring me. You're using so much more and you're never home. I'm worried about you." My voice trembled slightly as I admitted my concern to him.

"Don't waste energy worrying about me, Izz. I'm not worth it," he mumbled as he slid further down onto the couch, rolling away from me.

Realizing the conversation was clearly over, I sighed and stood up. I knew that I couldn't "fix" Andy, but I wished I knew what was driving him down this self destructive path.

Deciding to spend my time on a problem I could actually solve, I headed to my room. The heat was working so much better in the apartment that I no longer needed so many blankets on my bed. I set to work folding the hodgepodge of worn layers that I had been using since the weather turned cold. That job finished, I searched my brain for something to do to pass the time.

Remembering Andy's skinny appearance, I decided to go out and pick him up a sandwich. Jasper insisted on buying my meals when we were together, so I had plenty of cash to grab something for Andy. I knew that Jasper wouldn't be happy about my extra trip outside on an overcast day, but I couldn't stand to sit in the apartment any longer.

I grabbed my jacket and headed for the door. The wind nearly cut me in two as I stepped outside, so I set a quick pace as I made my way to the deli, scanning the people around me for bright red hair. There were a few small clothing shops on the way and I admired some of the outfits in the windows as I passed.

I was going to need to invest in some clothing soon. My work wardrobe was in good shape, but my everyday clothes were starting to fall apart. Since Jasper had shown up I was out a lot more frequently, but I was running out of outfits that were decent to wear in public. Fortunately, thanks to the way he was taking care of most of my meals, my clothes budget was growing.

As I neared the deli, I turned my thoughts to my increasing dependence on seeing Jasper. It was harder and harder to keep my distance from him, physically and emotionally. Touching him was getting addictive, and sometimes I almost had to sit on my hands to keep myself from reaching out to him unnecessarily. Part of the draw was the lovely peace that our touch caused, but if I was going to be honest with myself, I had to admit it was more than that.

Physical contact had been absent from my life since I had run from Forks and it was hard to restrain myself from touching Jasper now that he was around. I tried to keep it casual when I did break down and reach for him, limiting myself to holding his hand, but it was becoming more difficult. I would start off sitting across the room, but I almost always found myself curled up with him by the end of the evening. It was like the cells of my body were pulling me toward him, and when we finally made contact, it was like putting the last piece in a puzzle.

Last night, while curled up next to him during our usual after dinner movie, I had caught myself playing with his hair, running my fingers through the longish, silky strands. He had seemed to enjoy it, leaning into my touch, but I was horrified at my lapse in control. My brain was screaming at me to stop, but I couldn't force my fingers to stop the movement.

It had been almost impossible to peel myself off of him to go to bed. Sleep had been slow to come, and then it was quickly interrupted by nightmares. Jasper woke me as the first scream left my lips, rocking me gently and humming to me. After I had settled, he tucked me back in, keeping my hand in his. I drifted back asleep to the soothing sensation of his fingers gently combing through my hair.

Pulling myself back into the present, I ordered Andy a ham and cheese sandwich and a pastrami on rye for myself. I sneered at the girl behind the register as she stared at my hair. Granted, it was a little out of the ordinary, but she really needed to get a grip. This was New York, and my hair was tame compared to some of the freaky shit out there. When my order was ready I grabbed two sodas and paid, fighting the temptation to make scary faces at the cashier.

Eager to get out of the cold, I booked it back to the apartment. I relished the warm air that met me as I quietly entered my apartment and walked over to check on Andy. He was still lying on the couch, but he was starting to twitch every few seconds. I knew he would be up soon to start looking for his next fix, so I decided to wake him.

I leaned over and gently shook his arm. "Andy, get up. I brought lunch for us," I said firmly. "Go away, Izz, I'm not hungry," he growled from the couch cushion. "What a shame," I said in a sing-song voice. "I brought ham and cheese, your favorite." He mumbled incoherently, but he began to move, so I started laying the sandwiches out on the coffee table.

We ate silently and I finished first. Rolling the wrapper from my sandwich into a ball, I pitched it quickly at him. It struck him square between the eyes, causing him to snort soda. "Fuck, Bella, that hurts," he moaned, coughing and sputtering. "Sorry, Andy, I was sure I would miss!" I gasped out, unable to hold in my giggles. He finally recovered and gifted me with the first real smile I had seen on his face for weeks.

"Only you would get a direct hit by trying to miss, Bella." He rolled his eyes at me and took the last bite of his sandwich. "It's good to see you smile," I said softly. "I've missed it lately." He looked away and shrugged. "What do want me to say, Bella? I'm sorry my life sucks," he replied defensively. "I'm not judging, Andy," I reassured him. "I just want you to know I'm worried, and I'm here if you need me," I said, standing and walking toward my room.

"Thanks, Izzy B." His reply was so soft, I barely heard it, but it made me feel better. At least I had taken the chance to let him know I was concerned. There wasn't much else I could do unless he came to me. Feeling like some of the load was off my shoulders, I headed to my closet to pick out tonight's work attire.

It was about time to finish getting ready for work. I wanted to be totally ready when Jasper arrived to pick me up so I could see his reaction to my appearance. He had never commented on my "work clothes", but a few of my more revealing choices had earned a low whistle of appreciation when he saw them. It made me feel good to know he thought I could carry the skimpy outfits off. Acting confident was crucial since I worked nearly naked, but deep inside I still felt insecure about myself.

I chose a fishnet long sleeved shirt over my black push up bra. Over it, I shimmied into a skin tight tank dress which fell to mid thigh. Fishnet stocking underneath were covered up to my knees by black lug sole boots to complete the effect. Grabbing my makeup bag, I walked to the bathroom to finish my preparations. I applied heavy grey eye shadow and accented it with heavy liner past the corners of my eyes. Thick, glittery mascara coated my lashes. I kept the lipstick neutral, not wanting to go overboard.

The stranger in the mirror made me laugh at myself. The outfit itself wasn't out of the usual for work, but combined with the hair and makeup I looked "fierce" as Andy had said earlier. Smiling at the thought of myself as a punk rock waitress, I walked back to my room to wait for Jasper.

I picked up one of the magazines he had brought with him last week. He had started showing up with small gifts every few days. It was never anything expensive, and it was always something that made my days nicer. I really appreciated the thought behind it, but it was starting to make me uncomfortable. I knew I was already relying on him more than I should, and it didn't feel right to accept so many gifts, even if they were small.

My thoughts were interrupted by Jasper's knock on the door. Eager for his opinion on my outfit, I raced out to answer the door. Andy was sitting on the edge of the couch, and I couldn't help laughing at his round eyes as he took in my outfit. "Shut up," I scolded him before he could comment. He rolled his eyes and laughed at me as I pulled the door open dramatically, revealing Jasper's face.

I watched his eyes move over my body as he took in my appearance. His expression was blank, and I stared back at him with one eyeball raised, waiting for his evaluation. He finally cracked a grin and let out a very long whistle. "Hell's Bells, what an outfit! What's the special occasion tonight?"

Smiling back at him, I tugged him into the apartment. I spun around and asked, "Do you like it? Can I carry it off?" I asked anxiously. He reached out and touched my spiky hair. "Let's just say that I'm sure the customerswill appreciate it," he said in a sultry whisper.

Blushing, I turned to grab my jacket. Jasper noticed Andy on the couch and nodded at him. "How 'ya doin'?" he asked simply. He and Andy had never really warmed up toward each other since their initial conversation. Andy hadn't been around much, so they hadn't had a chance to get to know each other better, and I knew Jasper didn't like it that I had been worrying about Andy.

Andy gave a quick nod back at Jasper. "I'm cool, man." Crossing his arms across his chest and putting his feet up on the coffee table, he pointed a finger toward me. "You'd better keep a close eye on her, it'll be a frisky crowd tonight."

I stared at him in surprise. "How do you know what the crowd will be like?" I demanded. He shrugged his shoulders and looked away. "My new friends are talking about going there, and they like to make some noise," he replied, not meeting my eyes. This was the first I had heard about anybody who Andy had been spending all his time with, and I was concerned that this new crowd might be behind his increased drug use and unstable mood.

Jasper gave him a hard look. "Do you wanna tell me anything specific?" he asked, his voice sounding tense. Andy just shrugged and gave an asshole grin. "Nah, should be fine, just watch her back for busy hands," he said, standing and walking into his room without another word.

Shaking my head at his retreating back, I turned to Jasper. "I don't know what's with him. He was decent to me earlier today." He looked back at me sadly. "Drugs mess you up, Bella," he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Any chance I can get you to call out tonight?" he asked hopefully.

I rolled my eyes at him, grabbed my backpack full of spare clothes, and headed to the door. "No way, I'm not wasting all this work," I snapped, indicating my hair as we walked out and locked up. He sighed loudly, but followed me without protesting.

I was surprised when he reached out for my hand as we walked quickly to the subway station. Smiling as the calm surrounded us, I squeezed his hand gently in reassurance, aware that he was worrying about the evening.

We sat next to each other on the subway, keeping our hands locked together. I still insisted on taking the train to work, despite his preference for driving. I just couldn't take the thought of paying to park while I worked, since I would barely earn enough to cover the parking cost.

The club was already busy as I entered, so I quickly grabbed an apron and a tray and got to work. Watching Jasper make his way to his normal table in the back, his token beer in hand, I shook my head at his stubbornness. In my opinion, it was overkill for him to sit here all night. Surrounded by the smells of so many other humans in a small space, I was relatively safe from vampire attack here.

Waving at Kristin, I headed toward the first table in my section. The crowd was a mix of average college types, some tattooed biker types, and an increasing number of loud young men wearing flashy designer outfits and flaunting large wads of cash.

"Weird mix tonight, huh?" I asked Kristin as we both approached the bar. "Yeah," she agreed. "Watch the new bunch, they think they can tip their way into a feel," she warned with a grim face, pointing her head toward the wealthy looking bunch. _"_Will do, thanks Kris."

"I see your hottie is with you again tonight," she teased. The other waitresses all drooled over Jasper, and wouldn't believe me when I insisted we weren't dating. "Yeah, I tried to beat him off with a stick, but it didn't work," I deadpanned at her, lifting my tray and turning away. I glanced at him as I made my way to my tables and he raised his beer at me in acknowledgement. Giving him a small smile, I went back to work, getting into a groove as the evening passed.

Just after two o'clock, I noticed that a new group of the rowdy rich guys had taken over a few of my tables. Doing a double take in surprise, I noticed Andy sitting next to a tall blonde guy flashing a watch that probably cost more than Jasper's car. I gave Andy a small wave, but he ignored it. I rolled my eyes at his rudeness. _Fine, if he's too good to talk to me at work, we'll play it his way,_ I said to myself.

I made my way over to their tables and started taking drink orders. With the exception of Andy's quiet request for a beer, every order was given with a leer and an insulting sexual invitation. Ignoring the trash talk, I simply repeated their orders back and answered "No thanks," to the propositions. I made my way around the group and was taking the last order when one of the guys grabbed my ass, hard.

I stepped quickly away from his hand and met his glassy eyes with a hard stare. "Hands off, _please,_" I said briskly. "I'm just trying to do my work here. I'm here to serve drinks not to provide entertainment." The short, dark skinned guy just sneered at me. Waving a hundred dollar bill in my face, he leaned closer to me. "Come on baby, I'll make it worth your while," he crooned into my ear.

"Sorry, not interested," I said flatly, stepping further away from his face. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of Andy's face. He was pale and clenching his hand on the table. The blond guy next to him clenched his arm tightly and whispered something to him. Andy's shoulders slumped in defeat and he looked away from me.

"Anybody else need a drink?" I asked as I turned to walk toward the bar. Worrying about Jasper's reaction to the jerks harassing me, I looked toward his table. It was empty, so I scanned the room trying to find him. Before I could locate him, I felt a rough hand on my shoulder jerk me back toward the table.

The short dickhead had me by the arm, pushing me backward until I bumped into a chair. "You should be begging me for it, baby," he whispered ominously. He wrenched my empty tray from me and I instinctively raised my arms over my face as I saw him fling his drink toward my face. The cold, sticky liquor was shocking as it splashed over my arms and head, even though I was prepared for it. The glass went wide, missing my head by inches. In slow motion, I watched him raise the tray in preparation to strike me.

I watched the tray arc toward my head and tried to turn away. Suddenly I was twisted around again, encased in Jasper's leather covered arms. He hunched his long torso over me, completely shielding me from the man assaulting me. I heard the sound of my tray striking Jasper's back, but of course he made no indication of the impact.

The short guy screamed obscenities at us and kept swinging the tray at Jasper. "Are you okay?" he asked in an intense voice, ignoring the mayhem behind us. I nodded my head yes and reached my hands up to hold onto his arms, which were wrapped around my chest. He began to move us steadily away from the tray wielding man.

Vaguely, I registered the sound of Dean storming into the jerk's face and removing the tray from him. The crazy asshole kept screaming, when suddenly the blonde guy next to Andy stood up and walked over to him. "Shut up and stop making a scene, Tony," he demanded. The shorter man immediately stopped screaming and started apologizing.

"I'm sorry, Alex," he stammered nervously. "It won't happen again," he continued as he sat down in an empty chair. "See that it doesn't, or find someone else to play with, Tony," the tall blonde replied smoothly, returning to his seat beside Andy.

Jasper continued moving me toward the back of the club where the employee lounge was. I caught a glimpse of Andy's face fixed on the table in front of him as we moved away. Jasper's grip grew slightly tighter, but it was comforting rather than constricting.

We finally made our way to the lounge and he swept me onto the empty sofa there, kneeling in front of me. He looked me over anxiously, all the while apologizing. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I couldn't get there quicker without people seeing me move too fast! You're sure you're okay?" he asked again, running his hands over my arms, apparently checking for injuries.

His eyes were tight with tension and I noticed they were a darker shade of brown than they had been since we had found each other. I reached up to his face and cupped his cheek with my hand. "I'm fine, Jasper, just sticky and wet. He never got me with the tray, I'm fine," I assured him, placing my other hand on top of his. His expression relaxed as our peace surrounded us, and I closed my eyes at the sensation.

"Izzy, are you okay," Kristin screeched as she rushed into the lounge, followed closely by Jon, the club owner. Opening my eyes, I sighed as I began to try to ease Kristin's hysterics. Jasper gave a small chuckle and gently lifted me up to sit me on his lap as we told the story to Kris and Jon.

Fifteen minutes later, I was headed out the back door, still wrapped in Jasper's arms. Jon had decided to send me home since I was drenched. He hadn't been pleased about the incident, insisting that I must have instigated the assault somehow. Jasper had started glowering at him when Jon started lecturing me about the importance of keeping the customers happy. I had squeezed Jasper's hand tighter and made lip service about being more polite in the future when rebuffing unwanted advances until Jon ended his sermon.

"I wish you had let me drive, Bella," Jasper said tensely as we began down the alley. "You're going to freeze while we walk to the subway."

"I'll live, Jasper," I said evenly as we walked. He was nearly vibrating with tension, even though we were still holding hands. I waited for him to start saying "I told you so," but he never did.

We didn't speak any more on the way to the subway station, but when we boarded our train, I snuggled into his lap across the seat. "You'll make yourself colder," he chided as he started to move me away from his cool body. I held tight and shook my head. "Not cold," I mumbled into his chest. "I need to be close to you." Without a word, he wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on top of my head.

When we reached his place, I took a quick shower to rinse the sticky alcohol off my arms and face. After getting into my pajamas, I joined him on the couch and started struggling to remove the knots I had tied my hair into. He gently stopped my hands and lifted me in front of him. Again I waited for him to chide me for getting into trouble tonight, but he never did.

In a comfortable silence, he gently worked the kinky twists out of my hair and finger combed it down my back. "Thanks," I yawned at him. "No problem," he murmured back, scooping me up and carrying me into the bedroom. He tucked me in and started to turn away. "Good night, Bella."

Reaching out toward his retreating body, I whispered, "Stay, please. I need to be close," I repeated as he smiled at me softly. When he lay down next to me, I didn't even try to force myself to keep my distance and snuggled against him. He laughed softly and repositioned me so that I was wrapped in the comforter, tucked under his arm. He started playing with my hair and I drifted quickly to sleep.

**JPOV**

I played with Bella's hair all night, occasionally leaning my head down to nuzzle the top of her head as she slept. She had a peaceful night without nightmares, despite the events of last night. This was the first time in several weeks we had spent the entire night together, and I enjoyed the sensation of having her little body tucked up against me, even though she was all bundled up.

Unfortunately, other parts of me noticed how nice she felt cuddled up with me, and I mentally swore as I felt myself get hard. I reminded myself that arousal was a natural after-effect of fear, and I had certainly been afraid for Bella's safety at the club. Fear wasn't a usual part of my life, and the sensation was hard to deal with. However, my dick ignored my psychological analysis and remained hard.

I started mentally translating the Gettysburg Address into Hungarian, trying to distract myself from the way Bella felt against me. There was no way to know how traumatized she had been by her previous experience with sex, and I certainly didn't want to scare her off with my physical reaction to her. The thought of her running away was like a shot of cold water, and I finally got control of myself.

As the morning light grew brighter, I heard her breathing begin to change as she began to wake up. I wondered if she would shut down on me again this morning as I waited for her to speak. She looked up at me with her deep brown eyes and reached up to my face with her free hand. "Why so serious this morning?" she whispered in a sleepy voice.

Deciding to continue my policy of honesty, I leaned my face into her hand and answered, "Just worrying that you'll push me away again, Sweetheart."

She didn't answer, but sat up and climbed into my lap. Taken by surprise, I scooted up so we were leaning against the headboard, and she leaned her head against my chest. My arms wrapped around her automatically, the motion becoming a habit when she was close enough to hold.

"Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for being there for me," she whispered into my chest. I gave her a squeeze, not sure that I could respond without saying something that would offend her. Last night had been a nightmare, and it was all so unnecessary. She could quit that job and let me move her somewhere safe, but I knew she was unlikely to agree to these measures.

"About the pushing you away, Jasper," she began, her face still in my chest. "I'm trying to work on it," she admitted. I breathed in the scent of her hair and smiled. "You keep working on it, Bella. I'll wait," I assured her quietly. Groaning internally, I felt my dick growing erect again in reaction to her scent and her warm pressure on my lap. I discreetly adjusted her position so she wouldn't feel my difficulty first hand and we both relaxed. We sat that way for almost a half an hour, just enjoying the peace and the feeling of being close to someone.

She finally sighed heavily and moved away. "Sorry, but I really have to pee," she admitted sheepishly. I boosted her gently out of bed with a laugh. "Get moving then, I'll buy you breakfast," I teased as she headed to the bathroom. Taking advantage of the time she spent in the bathroom, I chastised myself for this sudden inability to be close to her without getting aroused. This wasn't what she needed from me, and I had to put a lid on before she became aware of it.

After she finished her morning routine, we walked to a small bakery and grabbed pastries and coffee to go. I grabbed a Sunday paper as we walked back and we each grabbed a section while she sipped her coffee and tore into the croissants she had chosen.

We passed the morning reading in companionable silence, when she finally stood and moved over to join me on the couch. Looking at me nervously, she twisted her hands in her lap. Her heart rate increased, and I wondered what she wanted to say.

"So did you want to talk about last night?" she asked reluctantly. "I could tell you were pretty angry, and I wanted to say I'm sorry for putting you in that situation," she added, looking down at her hands.

"Oh Bella, I wasn't angry," I said, reaching automatically for her hand. "I was scared, more scared than I've been since I lost you at the airport in Phoenix." Her eyes widened at that statement. She probably had no idea how horrible those hours had been for me. My own fear for her safety had been amplified by Alice's terror at what James had planned and my fear for Edward's reaction if we were too late to stop it.

Emboldened by the fact that she hadn't shut down yet, I continued. "I hate it that you work somewhere where that can happen. I respect that you need to work, but I wish you could find something safer," I admitted, rubbing her fingers with mine.

"I know, Jasper. It's not my dream job or anything, it's just impossible to find a 'decent' job with a shitty fake ID and no high school diploma," she huffed defensively. I decided to seize the opportunity to offer help. Gently releasing her hand, I stood up and walked to my desk, rifling through a drawer until I found the folder I was looking for.

"What if I could help you solve those problems, Bella?"I asked hopefully, handing her the folder. She opened it and held up the New York driver's license and social security card in her assumed name. Her hand trembled slightly, and I began to worry about her reaction.

My worry was short lived as she stood up and threw herself at me. "Jasper, this is great! This is good enough to get me in at a chain restaurant or maybe even a clothing store," she continued excitedly. "How did you get this? I never could have found someone to do one so real looking!"

Smiling in relief at her acceptance, I answered, "It's no big deal for me, Bella. I have some experience arranging new identities after my time with the Cullens, this was easy to come by." "This could change everything," she chattered on. "I can't wait to check out the want ads," she added, standing to grab the discarded sections of the newspaper.

She was reacting so much better than I had expected that I began to feel guilty about not offering her the ID earlier. Jenks had sent it to me days after I had asked for it, but I had hesitated about giving it to her, uncertain of how she would respond. _Oh well, can't go back, and who knows if she would have accepted it so well a week ago,_ I thought to myself.

"Bella, how about I drop you off at your apartment on my way to hunt," I suggested. "You can check out your ads and I can pick you back up when I'm done. It's going to be overcast, so we can do whatever you feel like."

Absorbed in scanning the paper, she barely raised her head. "Sounds good. I can change and shower too." Frowning, I realized that Andy might be there or show up while I was gone. Emotions had been so chaotic during the fracas last night that I had been unable to determine Andy's connection to the group of people he had been with. Whatever his relationship was with them, I certainly didn't approve of the fact that he would associate with people who might have hurt Bella.

"You know, Bella, I have plenty of closet space if you ever want to bring some stuff to keep here," I offered softly. _Careful, Jasper,_ I warned myself. _Don't want to overdo it and make her shut down._ She froze and looked up at me. I tensed, waiting for the fallout, and was shocked when she responded, "I'll think about it, Jasper."

Knowing it was time to back off, I didn't press the issue any further. She quickly gathered her things and we headed to her apartment. In the car, I decided to ask what she thought about Andy's behavior last night.

"I don't know," she sighed. "I don't know what to think. He pretended he didn't even know me, Jasper. The only thing I know for sure is that those guys he was with are _not_ good company," she finished.

"I can't stand the thought of leaving you here," I admitted as I pulled up to her building. "I don't know what's going on with him, but I don't like it."

"He wouldn't hurt me, Jasper. I know he's not acting right, but he would never hurt me," she said, squeezing my hand.

"You don't know what he's gotten himself into, Bella. There's no way to predict what he might do." I felt a flash of irritation from her before it evaporated. "He won't hurt me, Jasper," she repeated, glaring at me.

"I'm not trying to boss you around, Bella, so don't get pissed. I just want you to be careful and try to stay out of his way until we figure out what his deal is," I sighed, hoping she wouldn't fight me on it.

Giving me a hard glare, she wrenched to car door open. "I'll be careful, alright? He probably won't even show up before you're back, anyway," she said, stalking toward her building. I kept my mouth shut and followed her inside. I escorted her to the door, listening for any other heartbeats. "He's not home yet, Bella."

Throwing her backpack down she turned to close the door. Her eyes had softened slightly, and she reached out for my hand. "I get that you worry, but you need to remember that as hard as my life is right now, I'd be a lot worse off if it wasn't for Andy. He's in trouble, but he's a good person," she finished.

"Be careful," was all I could say as I released her hand and turned away. "I'll be back in a few hours, Bella." She nodded and closed the door softly.

Pulling my cell phone out, I walked back to the car, scrolling through my contacts and hitting send. "Jenks here," answered a smooth voice over the phone. "What can I do for you, Mr. Whitlock?" he asked.

"Do you still have the address I gave you?" I asked brusquely. "Yeah, the one with the heating issues?" he queried back. "My guy told me the situation was resolved, is there a problem?" he continued, his voice turning harder as he spoke.

"No, the heat's on now, good work with that," I reassured him, smiling as I pulled the car out into traffic. I wasn't sure if Jenks had a moral code, but he took great pride in his work. Anyone who interfered with getting the job done would be hearing about it from him. "I need you to find out the name on the lease for that apartment unit. First name is Andy or Andrew, I don't know the last. After you get the name, I want you to run a full search on him, dig up everything you can," I instructed as I turned onto the West Side Highway, heading toward the Lincoln Tunnel.

"I'm on it. Anything else?" he asked hopefully. "No, that's it for now, Jenks. Call me when you get the information," I finished, ending the call. Driving into the tunnel, I was relieved to find no traffic. I was planning on trying out the wilderness in north Jersey for hunting. I knew they had all sorts of problems with bears in garbage cans in the area, although this was the wrong season for bear hunting.

The drive was quick, and I was impressed with the wildlife. There were deer aplenty, and signs were promising for bear when the weather warmed up. The thought about the changing seasons made me frown, as I realized I needed to reevaluate my plans for the coming months.

My intention had been to move elsewhere in the spring, as the weather was often fair on the east coast in the summer. There was no way I was going to leave Bella now that I had found her, but I wondered if I could convince her to move with me. Tabling the thought for later, I made my kill and disposed of the remains.

I headed back into the city, making one stop on the way. I was done with watching Bella freeze every time we were outside. She refused to allow me to drive her everywhere, apparently because she was hung up on the cost of parking, so we walked most places. The jacket she was wearing was way too thin for the cold weather, and she spent our walks shivering.

Walking quickly into Macy's, I found the coat department and made my selection. It was nothing too fancy, just a black down parka. I grabbed a hat and gloves to match and went to check out. The drive back to her apartment passed rapidly as I wondered how she would respond to the coat.

I made my way into the building and knocked on Bella's door, registering the sounds of two heartbeats from inside the apartment. Waiting as I listened to her footsteps approaching, I shifted the Macy's bag from hand to hand. I hadn't been this nervous over something in years, and the thought of the tiny girl inside giving me butterflies was ridiculous.

She opened the door and stepped aside for me to enter. "That was quick," she greeted me. "Yeah, I found another good spot that's not too far away." I tipped my head toward Andy's room. "Any problems while I was gone?"

She narrowed her eyes and sighed. "No, Jasper. He got back while I was in the shower, and I haven't even seen him." Relieved, I stepped further into the room. Her eyes zeroed in on the bright red bag, and I felt her anger lash out before she squashed it down. _Not good,_ I thought to myself.

"What the hell is this?" she demanded loudly, grabbing the bag. I noticed the sound of Andy's door opening and watched him step into the hallway, leaning against the wall. Bella ripped the coat and accessories out of the bag, her eyes blazing at me as she examined the items.

"It's a coat, Bella," I answered calmly. This moment was really making me wish I could use my empathy to calm her, but I didn't want to try it for the first time while she was angry. Clearly she had reached the limit of help she was willing to take from me today, and I was just going to have to deal with her resentment.

"I have a coat, Jasper," she yelled harshly, pushing the new coat back into the bag. "If I need another coat, I'll get one," she continued, her voice rising even more. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Andy moving closer to the living area.

I felt my own irritation begin to rise as she made the ridiculous statement. We both knew she couldn't afford to replace it on her own. I forced myself not to show any sign of anger back at her, realizing it would just escalate her temper.

"I thought you were different, Jasper," she raged, stomping back to her room and returning with her worn jacket in her hands. "But you're just like the rest of them, thinking you can sweep into my life, throw your money around until everything suits you, and then disappear without a word," she screamed as she headed toward the door.

Her accusation cut me like a knife as I realized where her anger was coming from. She still didn't trust me to stick around, and she was lashing out to force me away so I couldn't abandon her first. "Where are you going, Sweetheart?" I asked calmly.

"For a walk," she spat out. "I need some time alone, no hovering will be necessary," she hissed in a low tone as she walked out the door. I waited, planning on letting her get slightly ahead of me and following at a distance.

The sound of dry laughter reminded me of Andy's continued presence. He sauntered into the room, his laughter getting louder as he walked. The frustration I had controlled in front of Bella welled up at him. "See something entertaining?" I demanded, turning to face him.

He looked awful, his face drawn and covered with stubble. I felt a small wave of sympathy until he spoke. "Yeah, I see lots, Jasper. More than you think, probably," he continued in a mocking tone. I just raised my eyebrow, wondering what he was referring to.

"I see you, just exploding inside, wanting to take her away from all this and give her a better life, even though she'd fight you all the way," he sneered, walking toward me. His heart was racing, and I smelled the heavy scent of amphetamines coursing through his blood.

"And I see her," he continued in a softer tone. "She's almost falling apart, torn between grabbing what you're offering and getting out of here as fast as she can…" he trailed off, scratching his arm violently. I silently waited for him to continue, curious to hear the rest of his thought. He finally snapped his head toward me. "Torn between running into your arms and running as far away from you as she can so you can't let her down too," he finished somberly, meeting my gaze.

I thought for a moment before answering, trying to decide how much to say. "The only person I'm accountable to right now is her, Andy," I began slowly. "I don't owe you explanations or promises. I will tell you that I'm doing everything I can to show her she can trust me. Right now, that means showing up and being there for her, even when she throws a fit, so I'm going to go after her."

I gave him a hard stare. "The next time you and I see each other, I'd like to have a little chat about what happened last night, but that can't be my priority right now." I felt a sickening wave of emotions from him crash over me. Remorse, fear and anger were all present, but they were eclipsed by a massive amount of despair. It was so intense that it was all I could do not to flinch away from him.

He turned away, walking back toward his room. "She'll be headed to the bench behind Corpus Christie church," he mumbled, unaware that I would be able to trace her scent wherever she went. "She sits there sometimes when she's upset," he finished as he disappeared inside his room. I shook my head and exited out the door to follow Bella.

AN

As always, huge thanks to Mynxi. I just couldn't do it without her. She rocks my socks.

So what did ya think? I LOVE to hear your opinions and suggestions, they really make my day. I'm creeping up to 200 reviews, yay!!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Twilight characters and plotline are the property of Stephanie Meyer.**

**Sorry for the slight delay in posting. I'm hoping you'll think it was worth the wait ;-)**

_**Oh mynxi you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind! Hey mynxi, Hey mynxi! **_**Is anybody old enough to recognize the song, lol? **__**So my fabulous beta's awesome story Saving Bella just won the I Dream of Bella Category in the Everything's Bigger in Texas contest!!! She's just the bomb, right?**

Chapter Eight

**JPOV**

I walked at a quick human pace following Bella's scent down the street. Heading in the direction of the church Andy had mentioned, I slowed my steps slightly to allow her a few more moments alone. I used the time to try to figure out what to say to her. It was hard for me to understand why it was so difficult for her to accept gifts, but I was guessing that it was related to her need for independence. I could respect that, but she needed to start getting past her reluctance in order for me keep her safe and healthy.

I approached the church and walked around to the quiet garden area in the back, hoping the right words would come to me. Bella sat on a bench surrounded by statues of saints, looking up at me as I walked towards her. Her feet were pulled up onto the bench and she had her arms wrapped around her legs. She looked so small, almost like a child trying to curl up and hide in plain sight.

I felt a surge of remorse from her before she tamped it down and began to speak. "I'm sorry for running away, Jasper. I shouldn't have done that," she blurted out anxiously. Her words gave me hope that our conversation would be less adversarial than I was anticipating.

I sat on the bench next to her and smiled as she reached out automatically for my hand. We enjoyed the wave of calm for a moment before she looked up at me, a tear slipping down her cheek. "I was just so angry, and I felt like I would explode if I had to stay there. But I shouldn't have just run away from you. You deserve better from me and I'm really sorry," she sighed, her voice heavy with shame.

I gently brushed the tear from her face, leaving my hand against her warm cheek. "It's okay, Bella, don't beat yourself up about it. You can't really run from me anyway, I'll just follow your scent," I added playfully. Her face relaxed into a smile around my hand and I could feel her body loosen up as some of her tension eased.

I tucked her up against my side, draping my arm over her body and making sure our jackets buffered her from my coolness. "Bella, I get that independence is important to you, and I want you to know that I respect everything you've accomplished. You've kept yourself alive in spite of horrible odds, and you did it all on your own," I said honestly, rubbing her hand absently.

She squeezed my hand back and I took it a sign that she was at least going to hear me out before getting pissed again. "Nothing can take that achievement away from you, Bella, even accepting a gift from a friend who just wants to help you." I nudged her gently as I spoke, trying to emphasize my innocent intentions with the coat.

She shook her head and bit her lip, seeming to search for words. "It's not that Jasper. I know you respect me, and I appreciate that you don't talk down to me or try to run my life. It just feels wrong to take so much from you when I don't give anything back."

I couldn't keep a shocked look from crossing my face when she voiced her belief that she didn't give me anything in return. Before I could open my mouth to correct her, she looked down at her lap and spoke again. "I know you like me well enough, but I also know you're here right now because you feel responsible for me, and I hate that. I feel like an obligation," she finished in a whisper.

I gently turned her face back toward mine. "Bella, everything you just said is wrong on so many levels," I began, desperate to make her understand how differently I saw our friendship. "You aren't the only one who gets something out of our relationship, Sweetheart."

Pausing, I tried to find the words to accurately explain what I was feeling. "You are the farthest thing from an obligation to me, Bella. I won't lie, I still feel responsible for destroying your life with of my loss of control at your birthday party. I appreciate that you've forgiven me for it, but I will always know that if I hadn't lost it that night, you would probably be happy and safe in Edward's arms."

She stiffened and opened her mouth to interrupt. Raising my hand, I pressed on. "But as much as I feel responsible for the way your life turned out, that isn't what keeps me around you. I could easily assuage my guilt by setting you up in a luxury apartment with a generous allowance. I could check in by phone and e-mail and pat myself on the back for 'saving' you if it was just about fulfilling my _obligation_ to you," I said vehemently.

Her eyes widened at either my words or my tone and I suddenly felt the acute need to be closer to her. Shifting her so that we were facing each other, I gently cupped her face with both of my hands, relishing the soft warmth of her skin against my steel fingertips. "The truth is, Bella, I stick around for several reasons. First, I really enjoy spending time with you." I frowned as she rolled her eyes at me, realizing she didn't believe me.

"It's true, Bella. It's like I can't wait to see what you'll do or say next," I tried to explain to her. "You make me look forward to the day," I admitted softly. Disbelief was still evident in her expression, but I let it go for now. I wasn't going to be able to solve all of her issues today, and she had been living with low self esteem for as long as I had known her.

"Anyway, I'm also here because being around you makes me feel good. Helping you and doing nice things for you makes me feel better. Not just less guilty, but actually _good_, Bella. I haven't felt good since Alice left me, but since you've been around, I feel good at least once a day, and it's almost always because of you," I confessed. "You don't understand how hard I struggle with wanting to do more for you. I want nothing more than to just pack you off to some remote island far from Victoria and just spoil you senseless, but I know that's not what you want. So really, Bella, I think I'm doing pretty good when I show up with just a coat," I finished with a smile.

Her expression softened and she tilted her head to press one cheek into my hand. Raising an eyebrow quizzically, she smiled weakly. "Am I allowed to speak now, Jasper?" she asked drily. I nodded yes, rolling my eyes at her. Her heart rate increased as she began. "You make me feel good too," she admitted, blushing slightly. "I haven't felt like a human being since I left Forks. It's like I was on autopilot, just doing whatever it took to get through the next day. I couldn't let anyone in, and eventually I stopped wanting to. But now you're here and I remember what it's like to have a friend and to be a friend. And it's a good feeling, Jasper, really good. But it also scares the shit out of me, because I don't know how I'll go back to being numb when you're not around anymore," she ended in a whisper, looking down at her lap as her tears started to fall.

Without hesitating, I scooped her into my lap and cradled her against my chest. She clutched my jacket and began to sob quietly. "I'm not going anywhere, Bella," I murmured softly as I wrapped my arms around her. Repeating the words over and over, I rocked her back and forth, waiting for her sobs to ease.

She finally began to relax into my arms as her crying became quieter. Her fingers were white with tension from holding my jacket, so I gently pried them off and wrapped one of my hands around hers. She was no longer crying, but she kept her face pressed into my chest. She seemed desperate to hold onto me, as if she feared I would vanish if she let go. I sighed, realizing that was exactly what had happened to her with Edward.

"Sweetheart, I will never leave you like that," I whispered into the top of her head. "I will never disappear on you. If something ever comes up that we have to be apart for awhile, we'll plan it together, and you will _always_ be able to reach me," I reassured her. "I know it's hard for you to trust me, but I hate to see you this upset over me leaving, when it will never happen."

She remained silent, although I could hear her heart pounding in her chest. "What are you thinking?" I asked softly, wishing I could pick up her emotions. "I'm trying to believe in you, Jasper," she said into my jacket. Closing my eyes, I held her tighter as I felt my own sorrow well up. Seeing her look so broken as she clung to me, I felt a flash of white hot anger at Edward. I had endangered Bella and Victoria had robbed her of her family, but Edward was the one who had left her unable to trust that the people she cared about wouldn't abandon her.

Sighing, I decided this conversation had gone on long enough. Bella was clearly exhausted and shutting down, so no good would come from pressing her more. "Let's get you inside," I said softly as I began moving her off of my lap. I felt my jacket tug as she resisted my attempt to move her into a standing position.

"Oh Sweetheart, I wish I could carry you back, but I think we would raise some eyebrows, even in Manhattan," I teased, hoping for some sort of reaction. She looked up at me, and I was relieved when a weak smile crossed her lips. " 'Kay, I guess I'll walk then," she said softly as she let her feet slide to the ground. Leaning heavily into me, we started to walk toward the street.

We walked to her apartment in silence, and I could almost feel the fatigue radiating off Bella as she stumbled along next to me. When we reached her building, I stopped fighting myself and scooped her up into my arms to carry her up the stairs. She sighed and nestled into me as I rapidly climbed the flights. "Key?" I asked softly as I approached the door. She rooted in her pocket and handed it to me.

Sighing in relief at the absence of Andy's heartbeat, I unlocked the door and carried her inside. I walked into her room and sat her gently on the saggy mattress. She looked up at me and I was torn apart when I saw how haunted her eyes were. Leaning over, I kissed her softly on the forehead. She gasped in surprise and her heart rate spiked.

"I'm sorry," I started to apologize as I pulled back. She blushed and shook her head. "No it's okay, I was just surprised," she stammered, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs. She looked so small, even in the tiny, dilapidated room.

Deciding to go for the honest approach again, I grabbed her backpack and raised it to her. "I'm feeling a major urge to take care of you, Sweetheart. Grab what you need and we're getting out of here," I ordered in a stern voice. My words sparked some life into her and she raised an eyebrow. "Please?" I amended with a hopeful smile.

Smirking at me, she stood up and began throwing stuff into her bag. I noticed an empty gym bag on the floor and grabbed it. "Throw some extras in this one while you're at it. That way you won't have to rush back here tomorrow if you don't want to," I suggested. She nodded absently and moved around the room as she packed the bags. "All set," she finally stated, hefting the backpack onto her shoulders.

Rolling my eyes at her, I sighed. "Give me that, silly girl. If I don't stay useful, you'll have no excuse to keep me around," I teased as I reached out for both bags. As we walked to the front door, I noticed the Macy's bag on the floor. Taking an unnecessary breath, I reached down for it and turned to her, a question in my eyes. Her blush returned and she slowly reached for the bag. She pulled the coat and gloves out and slipped them on. "It's a really nice coat, Jasper. Thank you," she whispered to the floor.

I looked away, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. "You're welcome, Bella. I'm glad you like it," I answered as I led her out of the apartment. I locked the apartment and we made our way down to the car. As I drove toward my neighborhood, I realized that Bella hadn't eaten. "What are you in the mood to have for dinner, Sweets?" I asked.

A small smile ghosted over her lips at the nickname. "I'm not hungry tonight, Jasper," she said softly. "Did you eat anything after I dropped you off today?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound like a nag. "Yep, I picked up sandwiches and Andy and I had lunch," she answered quietly. I nodded at her, satisfied that she wouldn't starve to death overnight. "Let me know if you change your mind, we can order in."

"Thanks, Jasper, I will," she said quietly. She looked so fragile strapped into the leather seat of the car, almost like a shell of herself. My heart clenched in my chest and I struggled to think of something to bring her out this dejection.

We reached the apartment building and again she leaned heavily on me again as we walked in. Once we were inside, I tossed her bags in the bedroom while she headed toward the couch. "It's still early, do you want to pick a movie?" I asked as I joined her. She didn't answer as she snuggled into me, so I scooped her up into my lap.

"What can I do to make it better, Bella?" She rubbed her face against my hard chest. "You're doing it, Jasper," she whispered. I groaned and shook my head at her. "There has to be something more, Bella. You're still miserable." She didn't reply, so I tried another approach. "What are you feeling right now?" I whispered to her.

"I'm trying not to think about how you're changing your whole life for me," she finally answered. Staring down at her in surprise, I rushed to reassure her. "There wasn't much to change, Bella. I do all the same stuff I did before, but now I spend time with you too. My life is better because I found you," I said firmly.

She shook her head against my chest again. "No, I mean how you usually move all around, but now you're staying here. I worry that you'll get tired of it here and wish you could leave," she admitted to my shirt. "I know you say you won't leave me, but I'll feel bad if you stay somewhere you don't like just for me," she sighed.

"Bella, I have to be honest, when the weather changes in the spring, it will be harder for me to live here. But I was hoping I could convince you to come on a road trip with me to somewhere with a better climate for me," I admitted, rubbing her back absently. "We don't have to plan it now, but there's no reason for you to feel like you're keeping me here when I don't want to be, Sweetheart."

She looked up at me and gave me another sad smile before looking away. "I can't get warmed up for some reason, I think I'll take a shower," she said, abruptly dropping the topic. I let her stand up and watched as she walked away. I hoped the shower would help, but she looked as if she was cold from the inside out. That thought took flight, and I smiled as I grabbed a pen and paper. Leaving her a note, I headed out the door to the market down the street.

I made my purchases and hurried back into the apartment, hoping I could get things ready before she finished her shower. I heard the water stop and used vampire speed to finish. Her sweet scent filled the room as she entered and I turned to face her.

"Surprise!" I sang out softly. Her face lit with a true smile as she took in the steaming mug of hot cocoa I was holding out to her. Her eyes moved to the bar where I had marshmallows, graham crackers and chocolate laid out in front of a lit candle. "Jasper, this is perfect! How did you know?" she demanded excitedly as she hopped over to the bar to sit down.

"I just figured the cocoa would warm you up, and I think I read somewhere that it's impossible not to smile while eating a s'more," I said as I grabbed a skewer to toast the marshmallow. She continued grinning as I fed her s'mores while she chatted about having them with her mom or dad at various times during her life. Seeing her smile, I felt like a weight was lifted off my chest.

She finished her snack and picked a comedy from my DVD collection. She curled up snug against me on the couch and clung tight to my hand while we watched the movie, but she sounded at ease as she commented on the silly plot. When the movie ended, she stood and headed into the bedroom. I grabbed a book and followed her, hoping she wouldn't ask me to leave tonight. I didn't like the thought of her sleeping alone after the emotional upset she had been through today.

I smiled as she moved to her normal spot on the bed and looked up at me expectantly. Lying down next to her, I tucked her in like usual. I reached out to take her hand, but instead she curled her cocooned body around mine. I moved a pillow under her head so it would rest on my hard arm and she sighed contentedly.

Her tired eyes were drifting shut as she murmured, "Thank you, Jasper. For everything." I leaned over to kiss her forehead again as I answered. "You're welcome, Bella. Sleep tight, I'll be here when you wake up." Playing with a strand of her hair, I watched her drift quickly to sleep. The afternoon had been emotionally exhausting, even to my vampire mind, and I hoped she would have a peaceful night.

Unfortunately, the sandman wasn't on the same page with me. Her first nightmare began less than an hour after she fell asleep. I heard her heart rate elevate as she began moaning and twisting in the comforter. I whispered assurances into her ear as I moved her into my lap and rocked her. She calmed without waking, so I tucked her in again. She had three more nightmares, each worse than the last, forcing me to wake her to snap her out of it. When I woke her, she clutched my shirt and sobbed out, "Don't leave me!" over and over while burying her head into my chest.

My heart broke for her and I felt my murmured words of comfort were inadequate for her pain and fear. However, since I hadn't tested out projecting emotion to her, words were my only option, so I used them. I told her over and over how strong she was and how proud she made me. I told her I would never leave her, that she would never have to be alone and scared again.

Eventually she quieted in my arms, and I tucked the comforter around her, leaving her lying on my lap in the hopes that the increased contact would help stave off another bad dream. It seemed to work, and she managed to get three hours of uninterrupted sleep before I heard her breathing change as she became alert. She stared up at me for a moment before giving me a little smile.

"That bad, huh?" she asked with a sheepish smile, taking in my grim expression. "I was just hoping you would get a little more sleep, Sweetheart. You had a tough afternoon and a worse night, I think," I said, gently pushing on her nose. I was beyond relieved when she smiled at my action and the shadows left her eyes. She was battered, but not broken, and I knew that with time and my help she would get past her fear of being discarded again.

"Go pee and get dressed," I mock ordered her with a smile. "You need a giant breakfast to make up for your junk food dinner last night, miss. I'm finally gettin' some meat on your bones, no goin' backwards now," I drawled at her, hoping for a laugh.

I was rewarded with a giggle at my accent. "I'd do just about anything, if you tell me using that accent, Jasper," she cooed, batting her eyelashes. I knew she was joking, but her words went straight to my dick, so I just gave her a quick smile and wave as I left the room so she could start her morning routine.

I stepped into the living room, noticing that my place was starting to pick up her scent, and groaned as my erection grew harder. I was finally starting to break through to the "real" Bella, long buried under her shield of numbness and bravado. She needed me to be a friend, not a horny teenager, so I needed to get this under control. I knew it would be far from easy, especially if she continued needing to be held so much, but I was determined to be what she needed and nothing more. Reciting the Declaration of Independence in every language I knew, I finally conquered my hard on and went to the computer to check for an update from Jenks.

**BPOV**

I sat at the breakfast bar and rested my head on my arms. It was Wednesday morning and Jasper had just left to go grab me a bagel. He joked that he was actually beginning to enjoy the smell of fresh baked bread again, but I think he really just wanted to get some air. We were "debating" my return to work tonight. It was my first scheduled shift since I had been attacked, and Jasper was of the opinion that I should call and quit without notice.

While I had no desire to continue working there, I was hesitant to quit today. The past two days had been an emotional roller coaster, and I hadn't had a chance to pursue a new job yet. Quitting before I had something to fall back on really went against my grain, and I was struggling between my desire to make Jasper happy and my need to stay independent. He was being patient but firm in his insistence that it was both unsafe and unnecessary for me to return to work there.

Sighing, I recalled how good he had been to me since my breakdown at the church. I felt as if a switch had flipped inside of me when I told Jasper I was trying to believe in him. For the first day after our "fight" I had been almost dependent on his presence as I struggled to allow myself to trust him. He had left my side only for quick trips to hunt, and I was anxious the whole time he was gone.

He was tender and reassuring, not pressing me to talk, but always there if I wanted to. My nights had been awful, one nightmare after another. Jasper held me tight through it all, soothing me back to sleep after each bad dream. I awakened Tuesday to the sensation of him tracing the circles under my eyes. "You're starting to look like a vampire, Bella," he had whispered sadly. "How are we gonna get you a good night's sleep?" I didn't answer him at the time, but I knew I had to push myself through this emotional crisis, for both of our sakes.

While he hunted on Tuesday, I finally had an epiphany. I realized my fears about needing him too much had already happened. His friendship was a necessity to my peace of mind and there was no longer any point in fighting the urge to rely on him, the "worst" had already occurred. It was wasting my energy to worry about how I would deal if he left. I believed him when he said he wasn't going to leave me, but I also knew that shit happens sometimes. There were no guarantees in my life, and I was beginning to realize that I shouldn't deny myself some happiness just to protect myself from future pain.

When he walked in the door, I launched myself into his arms, apologizing for being so difficult. Watching the relief spread over his beautiful face, I felt so guilty for putting him through the last few days. "I'm going to be better now, Jasper. I can't promise not to be scared, but I promise not to push you away," I whispered, pressing my face into his hard chest. Pushing me slightly away to look into my face, he whispered back, "I'm glad, Sweetheart," before crushing me in a hug.

We spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing, enjoying the respite from the intense emotions of the previous two days. My sleep that night was peaceful and free from nightmares, but Jasper stayed with me all night anyway. This morning, I awoke to his breathtaking smile, his features free from worry for the first time since I had been attacked.

It hadn't taken long for him to ask me about my plans for work that night. I was trying to avoid thinking about it, but I finally admitted that I would prefer to keep working at the club until I found a different job. Jasper tried to convince me to let him "help me out" until I found a new job, but I was reluctant to accept cash from him. We went back and forth about it, avoiding getting angry with each other, but drawing no closer to an agreement either. Finally, he had decided to go out to grab my breakfast so we could take a little break from the issue.

The door opened before I was ready, but I lifted my head from my hands with a smile. "Thank you," I sang in a silly tone as I walked over to meet him. "You're welcome, Sweets," he replied, handing me my coffee as we walked to the bar.

I bit into my bagel, hoping to use chewing as a delay tactic, but Jasper was wise to my game. Smirking at me, he started in again. "Have you come to your senses yet, Bella?" he asked, clearly teasing me. Giving him a snort of mock outrage, I retorted, "Sure have, Jasper. My sense of pride and my sense of self preservation both tell me I have to go to work." Smiling and shaking his head, he reached out for my free hand.

His cold fingers squeezed mine as he gave me a serious look. "Do this for me, Bella, please. Don't go back there and risk getting hurt. It was so close last week. I almost didn't make it in time to stop him," he said in a hard tone. His eyes darkened to onyx for a moment, and he visibly struggled to stay in control of his anger at the memory. "I'll cover your rent and whatever else you need, only until you're working again, just please don't go back there," he said earnestly.

I sighed heavily and put my bagel down. "It just doesn't feel right, Jasper. You already pay for ninety-eight percent of my meals, you're _supplementing_ my wardrobe, and you even bought my last MetroCard. I just have a hard time with the fact that you'd be paying my rent too. It feels like taking advantage of you," I finished, toying with the lid to my coffee cup.

His eyes blazing, he shook his head. "First of all, Bella, it really isn't possible for you take advantage of me financially. I could buy your building fifty times without denting my bank account, so a month of your rent is completely insignificant to me. It's a bigger problem to me that paying your rent will really just be handing cash to Andy to buy more drugs with. Second, there's a difference between taking advantage of someone and allowing someone to help you. We both know that this is the second case, Bella," he said as he took my other hand. "Third, you'd really be doing me a favor since I wouldn't have to worry about you so much."

Closing my eyes, I forced myself to ignore the part of my brain that was screaming at me to resist Jasper's generosity. I knew the chances that Jasper would ever need financial help from me were minute, but I also knew that if he ever needed that help, I would desperately want to give it to him. "Okay, Jasper, you win. I'll call and quit," I muttered, looking down at our hands on the table. "I'll spend this afternoon looking for a new job while you hunt."

A huge smile lit his face, and I could almost see the tension melt away from his eyes. "Thank you, Bella," was his only answer. Without warning me, he stood up and scooped me into a tight hug. I gasped in surprise before I pressed my face into his thick grey sweater. I inhaled his musky scent and gasped again as a wave of attraction for him raced through me. Forcing sudden thoughts of rubbing my hands over his chest away, I gently pulled back from him.

Concern flashed in his eyes as he sat me down. "Sorry, did I squeeze too tight?" he asked anxiously. I shook my head and gave what I hoped was a convincing smile, as I tried to calm my racing heart. "No harm done, Jasper, just lost my breath for a second," I choked out, praying that he hadn't picked up on my feelings with his ability.

"Sure you're okay, Sweetheart?" he double checked as he picked his coat up off the couch. Nodding my head, I followed him toward the door. "I'm going to go hunt now. I'm not sure these clouds will hold all day," he told me as he looked out the window.

"Happy hunting, then," I replied. "I'll call work and then grab a shower." He grinned again at the reminder that I was quitting and waved as he closed the door. I listened as he locked it behind him and went to make my resignation call.

It didn't go well, and I ended up hanging up on Jon when he started swearing about me, Jasper, and our respective parents. He was screaming about not giving me references and black listing me from other bars, but it wasn't like I planned on working at a bar again now that I had good documents. I shrugged it off as I headed for the shower, eager to get started on my job hunt.

The next few days passed quickly. I filled out applications at several places that had advertised positions, including two bookstores. Jasper and I had stopped by my apartment several times to refresh my wardrobe and my room there was starting to get emptier. Each time, I hoped Andy would be there so we could at least touch base, but the apartment was always empty. I left him notes asking him to call Jasper's cell, but to no avail. When I worried aloud about the situation, Jasper just looked at me sadly.

One morning I woke up without Jasper beside me and went out to the living room to find him. He was seated at his desk scanning a folder of documents. Looking up as he heard my approach, he closed the folder and stood up, clearly trying to keep me from seeing its contents. I raised my eyebrows at him, but kept my tone neutral. "I'm going to assume that folder's got nothing to do with me, so I won't pester you about it. But I would certainly expect you to let me know if that's my business you're so interested in."

He gave a small smile as he walked over to me. "Good morning to you too, Bella," he said with exaggerated politeness. "That particular folder is not about you, but I do have one that is," he admitted. I wasn't shocked to hear this, figuring whoever had made my ID would have had to research my past. "I'd be glad to get it out for you if you want to see it, Sweets," he continued.

Shrugging my shoulders, I answered nonchalantly. "I trust you to summarize it. Anything I should know?" He looked surprise at my calm acceptance, but quickly recovered. "Nothing really unexpected, Bella. The investigations in Forks are cold cases now, no leads, no suspects."

Nodding absently, I walked over to the window. It was still early and the sun was low, but the sky was clear of clouds. A chill ran down my spine as I registered the fact that it was obviously going to be a sunny day, giving Jasper no opportunity to hunt until the sun set.

Spinning to face him, I gasped out, "Jasper, how will you hunt? What can we do?" His face was absolutely calm until he couldn't control his smile anymore and a laugh escaped his lips. Before I could get pissed about the unshared joke, he started explaining.

"Don't panic, Bella. I knew it was going to be sunny today, it'll be fine. I want to try holding off on hunting for today. You know, I didn't hunt every day until I found you and I'm starting to feel fat," he said, rolling his eyes.

I rolled mine back at him and walked toward him, my finger pointing toward his chest. "Funny, Jasper. Seriously though, you need to hunt. I don't want you to be uncomfortable because I'm around," I trailed off as a thought crossed my mind. "Unless you don't want me to hang around today?" I asked hesitantly, unable to hide my anxiety.

Sighing, he walked over to me and lifted my chin. "Bella, you are welcome here any time, all the time. I honestly think I'll be fine today," he insisted. "I started the extra hunts as an extra precaution, but I haven't had any problem being around you." Shrugging, he continued. "I still smell your scent, but it doesn't set my thirst off for some reason. It's like I'm getting acclimated to it or something. I don't think I'll get uncomfortable, but if I did, touching you eases my thirst anyway, so everything should be fine."

I bit my lip as I looked up at his face. His eyes were still amber and no trace of strain marred his perfect features. My heart rate spiked as my body reacted to how close I was standing to him. He frowned as his ears picked up on my racing pulse.

He reached out and gently grasped both arms. "Bella, don't be scared of me. If you don't feel okay with this, I'll leave right now to hunt," he said firmly, misinterpreting my racing heart as a sign of fear. "I just wanted to try it because I think it will be fine, and it will open up lots of hours if I don't hunt every day. I'll leave now and be back by noon."

His eyes were tight at the corners and I realized he thought I didn't trust him and that his feelings were hurt. Struggling to control my desire to throw myself at him, I grasped his hands with mine. "No, Jasper, I'm not afraid, I just worry about you," I stuttered, trying to explain away my pounding heart.

He wrinkled his forehead in confusion. "Why would you worry about me?" he asked in a puzzled tone. Relief washed over me as the words I was seeking finally jumped into my brain. Reaching out to touch his face, I tried to let the calm wash over me as I spoke.

"I'm not afraid of you, I never have been. I'm not afraid to die, either, Jasper. But I know that if you 'slipped' with me, you would never get over it," I said, running my fingertips over his chiseled cheek bone. "I know you now, and it would destroy you inside if you hurt me, so I just want us to take steps to make sure that doesn't happen," I finished gently.

He scooped me into a hug, and I couldn't resist rubbing my face against his chest. "Typical Bella," he murmured into my hair. "Instead of worrying about being eaten, you worry about my mental state after I eat you. It'll be fine, Sweetheart, I'm sure of it. Besides," he continued, shrugging, "if it gets difficult, I'll just go hunt."

"How, Jasper?" I choked out. "The sun is already almost over the buildings. How are you going to get out of Manhattan without blinding anyone?" I asked sarcastically. He laughed and carried me to the sofa, where he dropped me in a heap on the soft cushions.

"You're worrying too much, Sweets. The car is in the underground garage and there's an elevator to it from the lobby. The windows are tinted, and when I hunt I'm not near any humans anyway." He stood and moved away. "I have a fool proof back up plan, no more time wasted on this issue," he teased as he poked my nose before returning to his desk.

I spent the rest of the day in domestic pursuits. I did our laundry, feeling guilty when I wondered if Andy had any clean clothes left. Jasper spent some time at his computer and made several short phone calls. I made the bed and folded a load of clothes. Wanting to keep busy, I decided to clean the bathroom. I knew Jasper had a cleaning lady twice a month, but I knew my near constant presence at his place was making more mess than he was used to.

Throwing on an old tank top and a pair of yoga pants to work in, I searched for supplies. I found the cleaning products and set to work on preventing soap scum and removing stray hairs from the shower stall. After only a few minutes, I jumped when I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. My heart continued to pound as my body reacted to Jasper standing close to me in the shower stall. Trying not to gasp out loud, I fought to control the urge to back up closer to him. The slight pressure of his cold fingers near my collar bone sent tingles through my body.

"Fuck, you startled me, Jasper," I accused. He backed up at my words and I forced myself to take inconspicuous breaths as I turned to face him. He frowned slightly and nodded his head at the bottle of cleanser. "You don't have to do that, Bella."

Shaking my head, I put a teasing smile on my face, trying to mask my physical attraction to him. "Sorry, but I do. I help make the mess, I help take care of the mess," I said in a teasing tone. "I know you don't expect me to do it, it just makes me feel better about not working if I help take care of the place, Jasper," I confessed in a more serious tone. I nearly lost it and jumped him when he reached out to tuck a piece of my hair back into my messy bun. "Okay, but don't overdo it with the toxic chemicals," he joked as he turned to leave the bathroom.

My struggle to avoid touching him unnecessarily continued throughout the day. Any time he came within a three foot radius of me, I had to force my arms not to reach for him. I was unable to control my heart rate, but he didn't mention it. His eyes remained amber and clear and he gave no sign that he was struggling with his thirst. As dusk neared I grew desperate to get out of the spacious apartment that suddenly felt constricting to me.

I changed into jeans and a casual shirt and walked back out to the living room. "I thought I would run to the market and grab a couple of things, if that's okay with you," I suggested hesitantly as I approached him on the couch. Swallowing hard, I took in the sight of him relaxing on the couch with a book. He had one leg bent at the knee, the other stretched out in front of him, and it was all I could do not to throw myself on top of him. "Of course it's okay, Bella. I'll come carry your bags," he answered as he stood up. Unable to form coherent speech, I just nodded and turned to the door.

For once I relished the bite of the cold evening air as we walked. I felt my head begin to clear and was able to chat normally as I made my selections at the market. I grabbed staples like milk and cereal, and most importantly some coffee to use in his immaculate coffee pot. The trip was over quicker than I had hoped and before I knew it we were back in the kitchen as I unloaded the grocery bags.

I reached up to a high cabinet to put away the coffee filters when I felt cool breath against my neck. Jasper plucked the package from my hand and reached over me to put it away. My heart thudded and I bit my lip, feeling dizzy from his closeness. He didn't move away, so I forced myself to turn slowly to face him. Standing mere inches from me, he moved his hand from the cabinet door to rest gently on my shoulder.

His face was concerned as he opened his lips to speak. I watched his mouth move, almost hypnotized by the desire to feel his lips on mine. "I can't take it anymore, Bella. I know you're still a wreck, I've heard your heart racing all day every time I come close. You don't have to be afraid, I'm doing fine, better than I even hoped," he admitted, shrugging his shoulders.

I groaned as I realized he was feeling hurt by my reaction to him. My frustration at my body's response to him reached a breaking point, and I literally snapped. "Jasper, I am NOT afraid of your thirst. You've given me no reason to worry about that since we've been back in each other's lives. That has nothing to do with why I'm nervous," I practically shouted. His eyes widened in surprise, but he made no move to back away from me.

"The fact is that I am currently panicking because I am scared to death that it's going to ruin our friendship when you notice that I want to kiss you so bad I can't think straight!" I yelled. "I know you don't feel the same and I'm trying so hard to hide it so you don't get embarrassed, but you're a fucking vampire and an empath, so you're bound to pick up on it eventually, and then you'll feel uncomfortable around me, and it will all be ruined," I babbled frantically, looking anywhere but at his face.

Fighting tears, I struggled to breathe as I listened in horror to the words leave my mouth. His free hand moved to my jaw and he gently raised my face. Unwilling to see his pity, I closed my eyes. I felt him lean closer and assumed he was going to give me a casual hug to ease my embarrassment. My body shivered at the feeling of him towering over me. Shock flooded my senses as I felt the cool pressure of his lips on mine. My eyes flew open as my brain caught up with my body, which was singing in appreciation of the fact that he was kissing me, REALLY kissing me.

I opened my mouth to him as I felt his tongue press for entrance. Moaning, I threw my hands into his hair, pulling his head closer to me. He hummed softly and pulled his lips slightly away to kiss down my jaw before returning to my mouth. I frantically ran my fingers over his cool face, overwhelmed by a combination of desire and relief that he wasn't disgusted by my feelings. His fingers tangled gently in my hair as he deepened the kiss even further, rubbing my tongue with his.

We spent an eternity in that kitchen, standing with our lips locked together urgently. Gradually, I felt his hands and lips begin to slow. Before I could protest, he scooped me up and sat me on the counter in front of him. He held my hips with his hands and leaned down to press the top of his head into my chest. I curled myself over him, wrapping my arms around him and kissing his golden hair. After a moment he moved back slightly to look up at me.

His eyes were still brown, but they were dark with desire. "Damn, I've been trying not to do that for a long time, Bella," he breathed out as he stared down at me, a small smile crossing his amazing lips. Still incapable of intelligent speech, my only reply was a soft, "Oh." I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair again, reveling in the fact that I didn't have to fight the urge to do it any longer. Feeling bold, I pulled on his head, and he allowed me to bring his face closer to mine.

Tugging on his shoulders to pull myself up to meet him, I closed the remaining distance between us and placed my lips on his. This kiss was softer, yet more intense. I was dizzy with passion and my body felt unable to contain my long repressed desire for physical connection. His lips matched my every move, and I moaned as his hands moved from my hips up my sides, his thumbs just barely gracing the outer curve of my breasts.

He abruptly broke the kiss, but wrapped me in a tight hug, angling me slightly so we weren't pressed to each other groin to groin. Kissing the top of my head, he gave a short laugh. "So I'm guessing we're clear on the whole 'I don't feel the same way issue,' right, Bella?" he teased. "But this is gonna change some stuff for us. What do you want this," he paused to touch his lips to mine, "to mean?" he asked, his mouth against my lips.

Running my hands slowly over his back, I forced myself to pull back to answer. Looking down into his eyes, I struggled to find an answer to his question. My desire for him was undeniable and to be honest with myself, I knew I already loved him as a friend. What the combination of friendship and attraction would create, I couldn't guess. Unable to resist, I leaned down to kiss the hollow of his cold throat. I felt a rumble as he made a purring sound in reaction, so I repeated the motion before looking back up at him.

"Well, Jasper, I don't know what this means," I admitted. "I think what I would like to do, is to pretend for once, that I am just a _normal_ girl, getting to know a _normal_ guy. We'll stay friends, keep kissing and see where it ends up, just like any other couple, I guess," I finished with a shrug.

"So you wanna play normal, huh?" he asked with a smile. I just nodded, unable to stop a huge smile from spreading across my face. "Well then, I guess as your one hundred percent normal and average kissing partner, I should ask you to join me on a date. How about we go to a movie and then we'll get you something to eat?" he suggested, leaning in for another kiss.

It was awhile before my lips were free to answer him, and my breaths were short and uneven when I finally replied. "Sounds good, but we'd better get a seat in the back of the theater so we can make out," I chirped as I jumped off the counter to grab my coat. I looked over my shoulder to see his gorgeous smile as he used vampire speed to catch up to me. He wrapped his arm over me as we walked to the door. "Sweetheart, I like the way you think," he agreed as we left the apartment on our way to our first date.

**Long AN:**

**So you guys were all "ok, great, they're gonna hold hands and cuddle for 10 more years," weren't you? **** So seriously, was it good for you? I hyperventilated from stress while writing it, so I'm working on getting a tranquilizer prescription line up for when I write their lemon. (Jasper, I promise you'll get some sometime this decade!)**

**Mynxi, thanks as always for working your betalove on my chapter. Did you guys know she loves me so much she edits in blue ink to cut down on my stress?**

**Anadabyel, we need to chat about this arrangement you have with the boys. I want in, end of story ;-)**

**Ok, shout out time….**

**These wonderful people called TwiFicPromotions have a blog featuring "underappreciated" (not my words!) fics, and they reviewed Moment this week! I got a big bump in my traffic, so thanks so much to them. Go check them out if you're looking for something new to read, there were several that I can't wait to start. http://www(dot)twi-ficpromotions(dot)blogspot(dot)com is their site.**

**If you go there, you will notice the gorgeous banner that christine30974 created for A Moment! I was so excited that I stretched my techno skills and created a photobucket for it, the link is on my profile! (I didn't even need any help, although Christine kept me calm throughout with deep breathing exercises, lol!) Thank you so much sweetie, I'm sending Jasper over to cuddle you tonight as a thank you!**

**Last one… To my amazing crew of consistent reviewers (too many to list, you know who you are!)…Thank you all so much. I love hearing from you after every chapter! I really can't wait to hear what you thought about this one! To demonstrate my appreciation, Jasper will be visiting each of you to put away groceries in high cabinets. Feel free to take advantage of this situation in whatever way you would like. ;-)**


	9. Chapter 9

**First of all, apologies for the slight delay! RL kicked my butt this week! There were stitches and a plastic surgeon involved, but everyone will be fine, thank God **

**My long AN will follow, but I'm too excited to put this at the end! Its official, my Jasper has been christened!! Thanks to Cullen Cousin for coming up with Jasper Liplock, lol! LOVE IT!**

**As usual, mynxi is my beta-licious! She gives yummy treats to reward good grammar!**

**Twilight characters and storyline are the property of Stephanie Meyer. **

Chapter Nine

**JPOV**

I gently moved Bella to walk in front of me as we entered the dark theater. The room was nearly empty and the few people who had decided to see the Valentine's Day themed horror film were seated far apart from each other. Mentally sighing in relief, I allowed myself to breathe normally. I wasn't feeling any strain, but I hadn't been in an enclosed space with a crowd since I had decreased the frequency of my hunting, and I was unsure of how difficult I would find it to control my thirst.

Laughing to myself, I followed Bella as she walked purposefully to the very last row and sat down in the middle chair. She reached out for the large tub of popcorn I had purchased on our way in, but I pulled it back with a teasing smile. "Who said it was for you, Sweets?"

Sitting down beside her, I rolled my eyes as she crossed her arms and fake pouted. "Don't make empty threats about eating that, Jasper. If you say it's for you, you'd better eat up or I'll never let you forget it," she warned, her eyebrow lifted in challenge.

I leaned over to whisper in her ear. "If you ask me nice, maybe I'll share," I answered, giving the shell of her ear the briefest touch of my tongue as I withdrew my head. Her heart raced and I enjoyed watching the shiver that she couldn't hide from my vampire sight.

The theater lights dimmed and Bella jumped as loud music announced the beginning of the previews. I watched her pupils dilate as her eyes adjusted to the bright movie screen. Turning her face toward me, she slowly licked her lips as she opened her eyes wide. "Please, Jasper, may I have some popcorn?" she asked in a throaty voice.

My dick twitched at the sight of her tongue, but I forced myself to refrain from climbing on top of her and simply reached my hand into the popcorn tub instead. Selecting a single kernel, I deliberately held it out toward her mouth. Slowly, she moved her head toward my hand and opened her mouth as the kernel neared her lips. It was all I could do not to moan as she accepted the popcorn piece into her mouth without touching my fingers, chewed it precisely, and finally swallowed it.

"Thank you very much, Jasper," she said primly as she knowingly eyed my now bulging erection. Settling back into her seat, she pretended to watch as the movie began. Chuckling, I planned my next move, all the while wondering how feeding her popcorn had turned erotic. I mentally thanked the stars for stadium seating and moveable armrests since it would make my next trick easier. Smirking to myself, I began the classic movie theater arm-over-the-shoulder move, pulling her body up against my side.

She kept her eyes on the screen and pretended not to notice, but I watched her chest heave as she drew a deep breath. I reached out toward her with a piece of popcorn again, but this time she didn't react, keeping her lips closed tight. Undaunted, I began to lightly trace her mouth with the kernel while she stared at the movie. I completed several circuits before she quickly opened her mouth and snatched the piece, dragging her teeth and tongue along my cold index finger. Her eyes never left the screen as she chewed absently.

When she slowly licked the salt crystals from her lips, I couldn't restrain my low moan. She whipped her face around to look at me and arched a graceful eyebrow. Without a word, she grabbed my hand, raised it to her lips and took my entire index finger into her mouth. Her hot tongue caressed me as she licked my finger base to tip before releasing it with a small kiss. Returning her gaze to the film, she murmured softly, "You forgot napkins, Jasper."

Shifting in my seat in an attempt to ease my throbbing dick, I laughed softly as I decided to bring it to the next level. I noticed she was watching me out of the corner of her eye, so I reached deliberately into the popcorn tub and chose another piece. Slowly, I brought my hand up to place the kernel between my own lips, trying to ignore it as the unfamiliar taste began to creep over my tongue. Before I could make my next move, she swung her body towards mine and reached up with both hands to pull my head down toward hers. Her tongue swept over my slightly parted lips as her teeth delicately extracted the popcorn from my mouth.

Her deep brown eyes were fixed intently on mine as she chewed and swallowed. Her fingers tightened in my hair and she leaned forward again to sweep her tongue across my mouth, licking away the irritating salt and grease.

"Delicious popcorn," she whispered as she began to move back into her own seat. A low growl rumbled in my chest as I reached out and pulled her back against me, lowering my mouth to hers in a crushing kiss. She moaned softly back into my mouth as she responded, eliciting another low growl from me. The hot moisture of her mouth reminded me to be gentle with my movements to avoid bruising her delicate flesh.

Waves of electric heat flowed through my body, heading directly toward my dick as I pressed my tongue into her mouth. I tasted the salty popcorn, but it was quickly overpowered by the sweet flavor that was simply Bella. Her hot tongue met mine and she gasped as I slowed the pace to enjoy the sensation. Her eyes were closed, but she was moving her hands across my face and back up into my hair. Abruptly, she shifted position, hitching her left leg up over my thighs, placing her almost directly on my lap.

I groaned out loud as I could feel the heat from her inner thigh, even through the layers of our jeans. She moaned back into my mouth and leaned forward, pressing her breasts into my chest. Lust surged through me, more fiercely than any desire I had experienced in my years as a vampire. Before I could even register the urge to move, my hands were cupping her ass and pulling her on top of my denim restrained dick. She moaned deeply and pressed her body down onto my erection and my hands flew toward her breasts before I realized that the theater lights were turning back on.

I gently but quickly thrust Bella back into her own seat, as she looked around in confusion. Grumbles from the other patrons finally alerted me to the fact that the film had fallen off of the projector and was melting. As the handful of movie goers began to file out of the room, I reached for her face with one hand and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. "Best popcorn I've had in forever," I teased as I ran my finger down her face and across her mouth.

She gave a wide grin, leaned forward and kissed me hard with closed lips. "What was that for, Sweetheart?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

"Because apparently you missed out on decent popcorn as part of your human experience as well, Jasper," she sighed dramatically. "That shit was stale. The only thing that saved it was the way it kept finding its way into my mouth," she purred. I quickly stood and pulled her to her feet. "Come on, I'm getting you out of here before your sense of humor gets out of control," I teased as she followed me out of the theater.

We made our way back to my apartment, laughing as we teased each other about our "ruined" date at the movies. "Seriously, Jasper," Bella teased as we walked in the door, "I don't care about missing it. I don't even know what the title was, I just picked the next one starting."

I widened my eyes innocently at her, pretending to be surprised. "Why Miss Swan, what possible motive could you have for choosing a movie you didn't want to see?" I wondered aloud as I helped her out of her new coat. Without answering, she immediately started walking toward the sofa. She turned her head to look over her shoulder at me and raised one eyebrow.

"I told you before we left, Jasper, the point was to sit in the back and make out. I never planned to watch the movie, especially not that stupid horror flick," she stated firmly as she tossed her hair over her shoulder and sat down. I used vampire speed to cross the room and was sitting next to her before she could even blink.

"And tell me, Miss Swan, did the experience meet your expectations?" I asked in a serious tone as I leaned my head toward hers. Her expression didn't change, but the pounding of her heart gave away her awareness of my movement. She shrugged slightly as she replied, matching my mock gravity.

"On the whole, the experience exceeded my expectations. The popcorn _was_ stale," she admitted slyly. "But it was good and…hot," she whispered into my ear as she craned her head up to meet mine. Her hot breath in my ear did bad things to my ability to control my desire for her, and I was instantaneously hard again. In a flash, we were locked together at the lips, tongues thrusting together as I moved her onto my lap.

Her kisses were like nothing I had experienced as a vampire, eliciting sensation after sensation. Hot, wet, and soft, the feeling of her mouth on mine intensified and there was nothing I could do to stop myself from grinding her hot little body down onto mine again. She moaned and shuddered at the friction and I became frantic for more. My fingers pressed into her soft, denim clad ass and she moaned again.

"Oh, Jasper, I never…" her breathy voice cut off as I abruptly broke our kiss. Her words had struck home and I forced me to exert some control over my lust for her. I had no idea what her sexual experience consisted of, other than the time she had been forced to trade sex for shelter. Even beyond her potential lack of experience, our physical reaction to each other was causing us to rush this more than I liked. I gently lifted her to shift her body off of my dick, trying to slow things down without brushing her off.

Her breaths were hard and heavy as she pulled back to look me in the eye. "What's wrong?" she gasped out. "Why did you stop?" Her hands were shaking slightly as they clutched my shoulders, trying to hold me close to her. Confused by her intense reaction, I tried to reassure her.

"Nothing's wrong, Bella. I just thought that maybe things were moving a little fast, that's all." My words didn't achieve their intended effect as her eyes filled with tears and she heaved herself off of my lap. A sharp wave of frustration and anger tinged with shame lashed at me before disappearing.

"Not you too," she spat out as she stood up. "I will not do this again. There will be no never ending intense kissing, followed by 'Sorry Bella, too close, we have to stop.' Been there, done that, bought a t-shirt," she snapped. "If you can't handle being physical with me, then we stop now and stay friends. I _refuse_ to go through that again," she finished in a quieter tone, wringing her hands.

I reached out for her hands and tugged her back down to sit beside me. I kept her hands in mine, hoping she felt the peace from our contact. "Slow down, Sweetheart, you've lost me," I said softly. "I can tell you're really upset, but I don't understand exactly why. I take it you had a past experience that was frustrating in some way," I hedged uncertainly, trying to avoid making her more uncomfortable.

She squeezed my hands and pressed her head into the outside of my shoulder. "Edward," she whispered into my shirt. Waiting patiently for her to continue, I just sat and held her hands. "He always said sex would be impossible, but then we would start kissing and it would get heavy and I would think he was changing his mind, deciding to try. But he always ended up pushing me away, saying it wasn't worth the risk," she mumbled. "It was so embarrassing, Jasper. I was desperate for more and he was desperate to avoid it."

I released her hands in order to wipe away the single tear that was sliding down her cheek. "Oh, Bella," I sighed. "I'm so sorry, I never realized. Edward was always uptight about his morals and your safety, but I didn't know he carried it that far. I don't blame you for not wanting to repeat that, but that's not what's happening here. I've never had sex with a human, but I don't see why it wouldn't be possible for us," I reassured her. Her eyes lit up at my statement and I smiled back at her. "Take it easy there, we'll have to take it slow and try a lot of things out first to keep you safe, Sweets."

Suddenly, memories that I usually repressed flitted through my brain. I remembered walking away from scenes of carnage, unable to tolerate the emotions of screaming women being raped by red eyed newborns preparing to feed. Maria hadn't understood my avoidance of her "rewards", but any attraction the victims' warm little bodies had offered had been completely obliterated by their unrelenting terror and pain.

"Jasper, where'd you go?" Bella whispered, running her hand over my face. I shook my head and gave her a sad smile. "Sorry, Sweetheart. Got stuck in a bad memory for a minute," I sighed. "Please don't fight me when I tell you we need to be careful while we figure this out," I begged her. "We _will_ figure it out, but I couldn't forgive myself if I hurt you because we tried to rush things. You've seen and even felt how much I want you, but it'll take some time to get there," I said earnestly.

She looked down at her lap again before meeting my eyes. I felt her pulse increase as she bit her lip. I could almost see her internal struggle over whether to shut down or speak up. "I believe what you're telling me, Jasper. That you do want me, and that things between us will take a natural course eventually. But," she hesitated briefly before pressing on. "I can't lie. I'm afraid that every time you feel like we need to back off it's going to feel like rejection again, and that I'll be ashamed of wanting you so much," she finished softly.

I pulled her back into my lap and wrapped my arms around her. Tipping her head back, I leaned forward and gave her a long, gentle open mouthed kiss. Her lips opened to meet mine, but we kept the kiss soft. I pulled away to kiss down her jaw line and back up before completely releasing her. "Do you feel rejected, Sweetheart?" I asked, smiling at her glassy eyes as she recovered from the kiss.

She shook her head in denial and my smile widened. "Good, because I'm not rejecting you. I'm treasuring every second I'm spending getting to know you and your hot little body," I teased gently. "And don't ever feel ashamed that you feel desire. I love it that you want me, and I want you too, bad. But even without our 'interspecies dating issues', I think maybe we each deserve some time to let things grow between us before we make love, Bella." I spoke softly but fervently, hoping she could feel my sincerity.

Her breath hitched and her eyes gleamed as she simply nodded her head in agreement. "So for tonight, I think we should keep things closer to first base," I said with a smile as I pressed a kiss into the palm of her hand. "If we get carried away, I'll try to back us down gently so you don't feel like I don't want you. If you want to stop, just start to pull back, I'll understand."

Her eyes flashed with desire as she leaned toward my face and licked her lips. "Who says I'll ever want to stop, Jasper?" she purred before she pressed her lips to mine again. Laughing softly, I allowed her to push me back into a half reclined position as we resumed kissing.

We spent a few more hours fooling around on the couch, starting to learn each other. Our kisses grew deeper and longer several times before I gradually eased off by kissing her nose or licking her ear, trying to break the tension while making her aware that I desired her. Finally I noticed her eyes beginning to droop, so I suggested she get ready for bed.

I met her in the bedroom after she finished her night time routine. She was snuggling into the covers, waiting for me to join her. Lying down beside her so that we were face to face, I reached for her hands. She smiled at me and kissed my knuckles. "Thank you for taking me to the movie tonight," she whispered. "I really enjoyed it."

"It was my pleasure, Sweetheart," I murmured back to her, returning the kisses to her own hands. By unspoken agreement, we didn't start any heavy kissing in the bed, aware that it would be difficult to maintain limits there. "Jasper, can I ask you something?" she asked, concern flashing in her eyes. "Anything, Bella," I answered softly.

"Does it bother you to talk about Alice?" she asked hesitantly. "You don't have to if you don't want to, I just wanted to know if it was painful…" she trailed off. "No, Bella, it doesn't bother me," I answered immediately. "Right after she left, it was really hard to talk about, but now it's okay. I guess if anything, I feel sad that our relationship wasn't what I thought it was for all those years, but it doesn't hurt to talk about her."

She gave a small smile as she nodded. "That's good to know." She looked as if she wanted to say something else, so I smiled back and raised an eyebrow. She blushed and began without further prompting. "Do you think she saw this coming?" she blurted out suddenly.

Unsure of the motive behind her question, I tried to answer carefully. "I'm not sure what she saw, Sweetheart. She stopped talking to me, so I guess I'll never know. Any reason you bring it up?"

"Not really," she replied. "I was just thinking about _us_ and how I never could have imagined it, and the thought ran through my brain that maybe Alice saw it. That, and I wanted to know if you'll freak if I mention your ex," she teased.

"No freak outs here, baby," I teased back. "How 'bout you? Does it hurt to talk about Edward?" I asked more seriously. She shrugged a shoulder as she answered. "More like what you said. Sad but not painful."

I leaned forward to press a soft kiss to her nose. "Good to know," I replied using her words from a few moments ago. "I think we have to be careful not to make assumptions about how things were in each others' past relationships, Bella. We each know the others' exes, but we need to remember we don't know all the 'messy details'. I don't want either of us to get trapped into comparing things to an unrealistic idea of what things were like with Alice or Edward. If there's ever something you want to know, I want you to ask," I told her gently. She nodded her head. "Same here, Jasper. You can ask me anything," she murmured drowsily.

"Now go to sleep, Sweets. I'm getting tired just looking at those drowsy eyes," I whispered, giving her a kiss on the forehead. She smiled and pressed a soft kiss back to my chin. "Okay, boss," she mumbled, closing her pretty brown eyes.

She fell asleep quickly and had a peaceful night while I watched over her. I didn't even bother to read, I just watched her breathe while I processed the fact that I had spent the evening kissing Bella Swan, and that the idea of kissing her forever was extremely attractive.

**BPOV**

I walked slowly up the street, browsing the storefront windows while reminding myself to scan the crowds carefully. This was the first time in over a week that I had been out without Jasper by my side, and I was surprised at how complacent I was becoming. It was a struggle at first to keep my eyes peeled for sunglasses on this overcast day, but I was beginning to fall back into the habit.

I had just grabbed a slice of pizza for lunch and was taking advantage of the relatively mild afternoon to do a little shopping while Jasper hunted. There was a spring in my step because that morning I had received a call on Jasper's phone from one of the bookstores I had applied to. The store manager was interested in setting up an interview early next week. I had rapidly agreed to Monday morning, glad that I would have the next few days to put together an appropriate interview outfit.

Smiling to myself as I walked, I thought about the different attire that would be required if I were lucky enough to get a job in retail. Hopefully, I would no longer need my wardrobe of spandex and fishnets. _Although, _I thought to myself, _Jasper seemed to enjoy a couple of those outfits. Maybe I'll keep a few pieces in case we ever go to a club or a concert or something._

I headed into a thrift shop that I had previously browsed at and got to work looking through the racks for something a little dressier than jeans and a t-shirt. I pulled a couple of choices and hit the fitting rooms. In a short time, I had chosen a deep green cardigan over a cami, paired with a pair of flat front khaki trousers.

I paid cash for my purchases, sighing at the total. The outfit was a bargain at fifty dollars total, but that was a big dent in my meager savings. Grimacing at the much tinier wad of cash in my backpack, I realized that I needed to pay Andy rent this week. I didn't have as much as I usually gave him, but I figured some was better than none, and I could get him the rest tomorrow after Jasper "loaned" it to me.

Instead of walking back toward Jasper's apartment, I headed down to the subway station to go to my place. I knew Jasper wouldn't be thrilled with my decision to go home without him, but I wasn't sure how bad Andy needed cash, and I didn't want to leave him hanging, even if he was just going to use the money to get high.

The subway ride was quick, and soon I was climbing the stairs to exit the subway station onto Broadway. My neighborhood felt almost foreign, especially without Jasper by my side. I started to feel exposed and uneasy, and forced myself to remain calm. I had survived on my own for over two years, and I wasn't about to fall apart because of an afternoon walk by myself.

Taking deep even breaths, I made quick work of the walk to my building and headed inside. Unlocking my door for the first time in at least three days, I called out, "Andy, are you home?" before I stopped short at the sight in front of me. Garbage was strewn throughout the living area, pizza boxes on top of fast food bags, with copious numbers of beer bottles scattered into the mix. Shocked, I walked further into the disaster, wincing as I kicked an empty bottle hidden under a plastic bag.

Andy and I had never been neat freaks, but we both tended to keep things clean. This level of mess was simply unprecedented in the months we had spent as roommates. Hearing a soft moan, I looked over to the couch to see Andy sprawled out over it. His face was covered in stubble and his hair was a greasy mess. His eyes twitched and slowly opened as he struggled to focus on me.

A sick smile split his dry lips as he finally registered my identity. "Well, well, the prodigal roommate returns," he said in a hoarse voice. "Sorry about the mess, but I didn't figure you'd be around to see it. I had a couple friends over a day or so ago, and I just haven't gotten around to cleaning yet," he sneered at me.

Chills were running down my spine at his appearance and his behavior. "Fuck the room, Andy, _you're_ the mess I'm worried about," I blurted out as I picked my way through the mess to the couch. "When did you eat last, and _God_ do you need a shower," I continued, fighting the feeling of dread in my stomach.

I moved to sit on the chair opposite him, but he sat up suddenly. "Ah ah, Izz, I wouldn't if I was you. Wouldn't want to sit on a needle. We did our best to keep track of 'em , but you know how it goes as the night gets longer." His voice was mocking, but his eyes were serious.

My breath was coming in short pants. "Tell me you are not sharing needles with those ass holes from the bar, Andy. You should have plenty of clean ones, tell me you are not fucking sharing needles." He rolled his eyes at me and reclined back on the couch again.

"Chill, we didn't share Mommy dearest," he sighed. "Why the visit today, anyway? To what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked, clearly changing the subject.

My stomach was still clenching as I whispered my answer. "I came to give you money toward the rent. I'm short some, but I'll get it to you tomorrow." I struggled against tears as I looked at the shell of a man across from me. It was obvious that his drug abuse was spiraling out of control, but it seemed like his entire personality had altered.

"Are you trying to die?" The words left my lips before I could stop them. He barked a short humorless laugh. "I'm not just trying, Bella, I'm succeeding," was his cryptic answer. Before I could question him further, I heard the door to our apartment open.

"Andy, are you among the living yet?" a smooth voice queried through the opening door. My queasiness increased exponentially as I identified the blonde man stepping into the apartment as the guy who had been "in charge" of Andy's new friends my last night at the club.

"Shit," Andy hissed quietly as he sat up and looked at me nervously. The man walked further into the room, disregarding the trash under his expensive shoes. His eyes flashed in recognition as he took in my appearance. "I'm so sorry," he said insincerely. "You seem to have company already, Andy. The little girl from the club the other night, isn't it? We weren't properly introduced in the mayhem. I'm Alex, Andy's new _boss_. It's a pleasure to meet you…" he trailed off, raising an eyebrow expectantly.

Before I could answer, Andy cut in. "Izzy here was just dropping something off, Alex. She and I used to hang out down at NYU last year," he explained. "Izz, just throw it in on my bed. Tell Brian I said thanks for returning it, and we'll all have to get together soon," he went on, apparently pulling the name Brian from thin air.

I struggled to control the fear that was beginning to well up. Something was very wrong here. Andy was afraid and trying to get me out of here. I forced myself to nod at Andy and walk toward his room. "Sure, Andy, sounds good," I called back over my shoulder. "I'm sorry you're too busy to hang out today. You're sure you can't come over to Jasper's with me?" I asked as I threw the envelope of cash onto his bed, desperate to get him to leave with me.

"Oh what a shame, we're going to lose your company so soon?" I couldn't stop my gasp as I turned to find Alex's hard face uncomfortably close to mine. He smiled, but his eyes were cold and my fear began to morph into panic. I forced a bright smile on my face and nimbly stepped around him to walk back down the short hallway.

"Yeah, my boyfriend will be back by now, and he'll be worried if I'm not home soon," I said cheerfully as I made my way to the door. "Andy, you really have to call more often," I chided in a light tone. "I worry about you when I don't hear from you." I had reached the door and was grasping the doorknob when Alex's face invaded my space again.

"Ah yes, mustn't keep the boyfriend waiting," he mocked with an eyebrow raised. "I assume you're referring to the tall hero from the other night?" he queried in a pleasant tone that didn't match the grim look on his face.

"Yep, that's Jasper, my hero," I chirped out truthfully. "Later Andy! Alex." I nodded vaguely in his direction as I stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind me. I forced myself not to run, keeping my gait quick but controlled as I navigated the stairs and exited the building, grateful that no steps followed my progress toward the street.

Consumed with fear for Andy, my commute back to Jasper's building passed in a blur. If Victoria had happened upon me, I wouldn't have noticed until my bones started breaking and the venom hit my veins. Thoughts of what could be wrong with Andy and what I could do to help him circled endlessly in my mind.

I walked through the lobby of Jasper's building in a daze, thankful the security guard on duty recognized me. I staggered into the apartment and sat heavily onto the couch, my shopping bag forgotten at my feet. I leaned over and put my head in my hands, overcome with despair at Andy's situation and my inability to help. I had known going into it that he was a drug addict, and I recognized that I couldn't help him with that unless he was ready to ask me. But his new "boss" and the people he was spending time with were obviously bad news, and I was worried for his immediate safety.

Unaware that the door had opened, I gasped when Jasper's cold arms surrounded me as he lifted me onto his lap. "What is it, Bella? I could feel your panic from outside," he said urgently. "Are you hurt? What happened?"

Pressing my face into his hard chest and inhaling his scent, I felt my terror for Andy start to recede into a more manageable worry. "Not hurt," I whispered into his shirt. "It's Andy." I told Jasper the whole story, from shopping to running out of the apartment. His jaw clenched when I told him about the mysterious and forbidding appearance of Alex.

"I can't explain it, Jasper. I just knew I needed to get out of there fast. There's something in his eyes or something. He just oozes trouble," I finished sadly. A short sob choked its way out of my tight throat. "And Andy's with him right now, and there's nothing I can do to stop it," I moaned into my hands. "He saved me, and now he needs me, but there's nothing I can do to help him."

Jasper ran his fingers repeatedly through my hair and made a soft humming sound as he let me cry. After several minutes, I regained control of myself and moved to sit up slightly. Jasper looked deep into my eyes. "Okay now, Bella?" I nodded at him and he gently squeezed my hand. "Let's try to help your friend then," he sighed as he stood up and walked to his desk.

He opened a drawer and pulled out a manila folder. He returned to the couch and sat to face me again. "Bella, I think you should take a look at this. After the incident at the club, I had my guy start looking into Andy, and this is what he turned up. I know you won't like the idea that I did this, but I needed to know more about him to make sure you're safe around him."

My eyes widened in shock as I took the folder from him. "You started investigating my roommate?" I asked in disbelief. My feelings were so conflicted. I was annoyed because it just seemed a bit overbearing, and I wasn't used to that from Jasper. At the same time, I knew Jasper took my safety very seriously, so I could see why he had felt it necessary to check out Andy's past.

Jasper watched me closely, apparently concerned about my reaction. I sighed and leaned forward to kiss him chastely on the lips. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna lose my shit, Jasper. I hate that it's come down to this, but I don't see how I can help him if I don't know what's going on with him." He merely nodded in reply, but his eyes were soft as he kissed me on the lips before returning to his desk and turning on his computer.

I knew I needed to see the information inside the folder, but it felt so wrong to betray Andy's trust and learn his story from an outside source. Swallowing, I forced myself to open it, since the only way to make things better was to find out how they had gone wrong. Making myself comfortable on the couch, I settled in to read.

I made it to the second page before the tears started as I processed the information in front of me. Jasper silently appeared with tissues, which I accepted with a brief look of thanks. "You've read this?" I asked him. "Yeah, Sweetheart, I've read it. Go ahead and finish and I'll tell you what I've been thinking," he instructed gently, reaching out for my hand to place a kiss on my knuckles.

I made short work of the rest of Andy's sad past. Looking up at Jasper, I let desperation fill my voice as I spoke. "Jasper, can you help me help him? I know you guys didn't get off to a great start, but he's a good person, and he deserves a chance to start over," I continued.

Before I could go on, Jasper interrupted. "Bella, I've been working on some stuff for about a week now. He's important to you, and that makes him important to me." My heart stuttered in my chest at his words, and I was humbled at the care this amazing man had for my happiness. I couldn't stop myself from leaning forward to press a soft kiss onto his lips.

A short smile crossed his mouth as he returned my quick embrace before continuing. "I figure one of the big problems is that as much as he seems to care about you, you just don't have enough influence over him to force him to change anything." I nodded in agreement, having reached the same conclusion on the ride back to Jasper's.

"I'm having Jenks work on tracking down the remaining family members to see if anyone looks promising to lead a sort of intervention for him. In light of this Alex guy, I'm going to have Jenks put a local PI on Andy to see if we can find out who these new guys are. Then maybe we can find a way to help get him out of whatever he's gotten into."

I launched myself into his lap. "Thank you," I said fervently as I hugged his hard body. "He's worth the trouble, I promise." Jasper gave a small smile at my words, and I looked at him in confusion. "What?" I asked. "Did I say something weird?" His smile grew a little and he leaned forward to press his cold lips to mine. Sighing, I leaned into the kiss and opened my mouth to deepen it. As always, his kiss caused my body to sing and I was quickly panting.

Finally, Jasper chuckled and backed gently away from our embrace. He continued to hold me in his lap as he pressed small kisses around my ear and then down my neck to my shirt. Shivers of pleasure raced along my body at each kiss, and I realized that even though Jasper was clearly backing off, I still felt desired, rather than frustrated and abandoned.

"What was that for?" I asked once my brain regained the capacity for rational thought. He smiled again and kissed my nose. "I just remembered telling you that you were worth it once, that's all," he answered simply. I frowned at the thought of the terror filled days leading to Phoenix and James. "I barely knew you then, Bella, but I knew you were special, and I was right."

Leaning back into him to kiss along his jaw line, I raised up onto my knees to bring us to eye level. "You make me feel special, Jasper. For the first time since Forks, I feel like I'm important to someone, and it feels really good."

Before I could register the movement, I was lying on my back returning Jasper's passionate kiss, tongue to tongue. Desire raced through me, and I couldn't stop myself from hitching one leg up between the outside of his body and the couch. I was sure he would pull back, but instead, he reached a hand down to cup my ass, pulling me tighter against him. I moaned at the feeling of his hands on my butt and the delicious friction I was getting from his erection.

Deciding to follow his lead with our physical boundaries, I reached an arm up and ran my hand down his long torso. My fingers hesitated at the waist band of his jeans and I felt a purr-like rumble as we continued to kiss. Emboldened, I moved my hand further down to rest against the curve of his perfect ass. He gave a low groan and momentarily pushed his dick harder into my body.

"Oh Sweetheart, what you do to me," he whispered into my mouth before pulling back and sitting us both up. He ran his hands up and down my arms as he settled me back into his lap. "How are we doin' at this, Bella?" he asked me in a low tone. "Are you feeling okay when we have to back down?"

Unable to stop myself, I leaned forward to press a kiss at the hollow of his throat. "We're good, Jasper. I could definitely go for more of what we just did, though," I suggested in a husky tone. He gave a soft growl and quickly licked a line up the front of my neck with his cool tongue. "Be good, Bella," he chided, his eyes crinkled in humor. "You'll get more, but for right now we need to figure out your dinner and get to work on helping Andy."

Reluctantly agreeing, I moved off of his lap. Why don't you go grab something to eat while I call Jenks and fill him in. Then you can show off what you bought today," he said as he eyed my shopping bag. "Sounds good," I agreed. He walked over to his cell phone and began to dial. Following him, I quickly pressed my body into his. "You're a good man, Jasper Whitlock," I whispered into his chest before stepping away.

His only response was a wink and a smile as he began speaking into the phone. Grabbing my jacket, I headed for the door, listening as Jasper began to tell Jenks what he wanted. Jasper had a lot of faith in Jenks' abilities, so I was sure that he would come through with results. I just hoped Jasper and I would be able to use the information to save Andy somehow.

**AN-** **First of all, THANK YOU for all the reviews last chapter! I got a record 43 for chapter 8!! You all rocked my world! Jasper said he had lots of fun helping you girls out in the kitchen, but his favorite was cleaning NatalieLynn's ceiling fan! He' s resting up because I have a big assignment for him today! Reviews of chapter nine will earn you a visit from Jasper, complete with a package of microwave popcorn, no napkins included. Make of it what you will!**

**Big sugar smacks *wink wink* to mynxi. Best beta in the world and the center of my fanfiction universe! **

**Finally, thank you for all the calming vibes, anti-anxiety meds, and especially the foot rub! This chapter went a little easier, so maybe by the time they're ready to seal the deal, I'll be able to write it without hyperventilating! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. I own the Master Yoda tattoo band-aid on my right heel.**

**Mynxi is still the best beta in the world, even when I don't have a cute way to say it. **

Chapter Ten

**BPOV**

My head was swimming as I made my way toward the diner to pick up my dinner. The information in Andy's file lay heavy in my heart, as I realized that his recent past was almost as traumatic as mine. The words from Jenks' thorough report echoed in my mind.

_Andrew Wakeman_

_Subject is the only son of a respected minister in Milford, Pennsylvania. _

_Early life history unremarkable. _

_Considerable strife with parents as a teen over revelation of his homosexual relationship with the son of family friends (name Will Porter). Andrew and Will defied their families' wishes and enrolled together at NYU, where they lived together for their freshman year, by all reports in a happy relationship. _

_During the summer break, both young men returned home to visit their families. On Sunday, June 20__th__ of last year, the Wakeman and Porter families were travelling together to church, with the exception of Andrew, who remained home for an unknown reason. The Wakeman's SUV was struck by a semi, killing everyone instantaneously. _

_Maternal grandmother is still living in Ellsworth, ME. She has been trying unsuccessfully to contact subject since he returned to New York after the accident which killed his family and lover._

We had so much more in common than we had ever realized. We had both been robbed of our families and we had both lost our loves. Unfortunately, we had diverged from each other in our reactions to the situation we were in. I was running away from Victoria and fighting for my life, whereas Andy was running away from the pain and apparently trying to die.

I grabbed my waiting order at the diner and walked quickly back to Jasper's apartment. He was still seated at his desk, talking on his cell phone as I entered the room. The sight of his amber eyes lifted some of the weight off of my heart and I was struck by the need to be close to him. Placing my takeout on the counter, I quickly crossed the room to him.

Mindful of the fact that he was still on the phone, I leaned over and pressed a kiss onto his cold forehead. He made no sound, but his eyes closed and he reached his free hand up to cup the back of my head, keeping my lips pressed against him. The male voice speaking through the phone paused, and Jasper finally spoke.

"He sounds like a good man for the job, Jenks. Get him to work immediately. I want twenty-four/seven coverage, full details. I'll wait to hear from you. Good night."

As he ended the call, I climbed into his lap and laid my head on his shoulder. I pressed a kiss against his neck, enjoying the soft rumble of pleasure he made in response. "What are all the kisses for, Sweetheart?" he asked as he ran his fingers idly through my hair. "Not that you have to have a reason, it just seems like something is on your mind."

I turned myself to face him and almost lost myself in his clear amber eyes. Running my fingers through his shaggy hair, I tried to find the words to describe my need to be near him. "I was just thinking about how Andy and I are so similar, and how easily I could have ended up like him," I explained.

His eyes crinkled in confusion. "Bella, I don't agree that you were in danger of ending up an addict. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for. Anyway, how does that earn me kisses?" he asked, his lips turning up in a wry smile.

"Who knows how long I would have stayed strong, Jasper? The only thing that stopped me from indulging in chemical amnesia was the fear that Victoria would find me if I let my guard down. You can only keep that level of fear up for so long though, so I think eventually I would have succumbed to the temptation to forget it for awhile."

He shook his head at me, but I continued before he could interrupt. "But here's where Andy and I are different. He has nothing to run towards except an end to the pain. But me, I have you to run to now. Just one more thing you've saved me from, I guess. You give me a reason to want to live again, Jasper Whitlock," I finished in a whisper, as I closed my eyes and brought my mouth to his cool lips.

Our kiss was deep yet soft, as if it was full of unspoken feelings. When we finally separated, he cradled my face in his hands. His eyes were blazing with emotion, and I wished momentarily for his empathetic ability. "What is it?" I whispered.

"You have no idea what you make me feel, Bella," he whispered back to me. "For so long, I've been the weak link, the one everyone else had to look out for. The fact that you trust me, that you depend on me to help you, makes me feel good," he said fervently.

I closed the distance between our faces again and spoke into his ear. "I'm getting really fond of making you feel good, Jasper," I murmured as I traced the shell of his ear lightly with my tongue before moving to kiss down the side of his neck. "In fact, I think it could become a habit, if I let it," I sighed, running my hand over the hard muscles of his chest.

"I think that's a habit I can condone, Bella Swan," he growled into my ear as he stood up and moved us over to the couch. In a heartbeat, our lips were locked together once again, our tongues dancing with each other. He allowed me to push him back into a reclining position, and I quickly moved forward to straddle him. We each moaned as my groin settled over his hard dick. Using every ounce of self control I possessed, I restrained myself from grinding down on him. We were just getting started, and I didn't want things to become so heated that he would feel the need to back down.

I leaned forward to kiss his neck with my open mouth, leaving a moist trail up to his jaw line. I ran my hands along the soft cotton of his t-shirt to caress the hard plains of his chest. He made a purring sound as my hands trailed down his abdomen to the hem of his shirt, enjoying the definition of his granite hard muscles. My heart pounded as I felt his hands moving up my sides, his thumbs sliding forward to rest under the curve of my breasts.

Eagerly, I slipped my hands under his shirt, reveling in the feel of his cold, smooth skin as I pushed the fabric up, exposing his abdomen and lower chest. I felt his hands tense briefly on my body, so I stilled my movements and looked down at him. His face was unreadable, his eyes dark and intense.

"Are you okay with this?" I asked breathlessly. "'Cause I _really_ want to put my hands on you, but if you don't like to be touched, I'll stop."

He shook his head slightly. "That's not it, it feels amazing when you touch me anywhere. It's just that the scarring is heavier on my chest, and it makes some people uncomfortable to see it or touch it," he said quietly.

Looking down, I noticed that the scars were more predominant over his chest. "You are beautiful," I murmured as I leaned down to press my lips to the nearest scar. He inhaled an unnecessary breath, and I whispered against his skin, "Is my mouth on you okay, Jasper? I want you to feel good, not remember bad things."

"Oh Bella, that feels real good," he sighed as I continued pressing soft kisses along his chest. "Good," I sighed back as I kissed my way back up to his mouth, allowing my hands to continue stroking his perfect chest. Our lips met again in a more forceful kiss, as I allowed him to take control, thrusting his cold tongue firmly against mine. I moaned into his mouth at the change in pressure, carried away by the pleasure of kissing and touching him.

I was so engrossed in exploring his chest that I had forgotten where his hands were until he slowly began to move his thumbs upwards, inching toward my aching nipples. When he finally reached them, electric shocks sped from my breasts down to my aching core. I was unable to contain my groan of desire as I felt a gush of moisture between my legs at the amazing sensation of his thumbs tracing my peaks through the layers of my clothing.

Frantically, I ground myself down onto his erection, instinctively seeking friction. He groaned at the contact and moved his hands to begin kneading both of my breasts. I broke my contact with his mouth and used my arms to push myself up, allowing his hands better access to fondle me.

"So perfect," he whispered as he sat up to claim my mouth again. His hands continued to caress me, but gradually he began to move back toward my sides. Realizing he was backing off, I broke our kiss to lay my weight fully on his body as I moved my hands reluctantly off of his chest.

"How are you, Sweetheart," he asked as he ran his fingers through my hair. My heart clenched at how concerned he was about my feelings.

"Other than being just a little hot and bothered, I'm just about perfect," I teased him as I fought a yawn. Now that our passion was being put on hold, I began to notice how tired I was.

"Bedtime for you, I think," he laughed softly as he scooped me up and carried me into the bedroom. Ten minutes later, we were cuddled up together and I was dead to the world as sleep claimed me from my worries about Andy and my excitement over making out with Jasper.

The next morning I awoke alone in bed for the first time in weeks. As I moved the comforter, I noticed a note fall to the ground. Scanning it as I headed for the bathroom, I smiled as I read that Jasper was already out to hunt. He told me to eat a good breakfast and that he would be back in time to escort me to my job interview at the bookstore.

I ate a quick breakfast and started my morning routine, fighting the butterflies in my stomach. I was excited about the bookstore I was interviewing at. It was a small business, apparently thriving despite massive competition from the big book chains. I was cautiously hopeful that it would be a good fit. I heard the front door open and close as I finished getting dressed in my new outfit.

"Bella?" Jasper called as he walked into the apartment. "In here," I replied. "You can come in, I'm decent!"

"Damn," he sighed exaggeratedly. "I missed the show." His eyes danced with humor and I took a moment to enjoy the sight of his perfect face in a relaxed smile. It was a marked difference from the somber, reserved man I had met in Forks.

"I _might_ be able to arrange a repeat performance in the near future," I answered primly, before sticking my tongue out at him with a laugh. "You're in a good mood this morning," I mentioned as I slipped on my ballet flats. "What do you think? Am I bookstore clerk material?" I teased as I spun in a circle.

"I know I'd hire you," he teased back. "You look great, Sweetheart. And you'll do fine. If it doesn't work out at this place, something else will come along," he reassured me.

"I know, but I'll feel a lot better about stuff once I'm pulling in a paycheck again. Which reminds me, we need to drop off the rest of the rent I owe Andy today. I was short yesterday, and I don't want to leave him hanging."

Jasper frowned at the mention of returning to my apartment. "I'll take care of it while you're at your interview, if that's okay with you," he answered tightly. "I don't want you anywhere near that place, especially without me. Please don't fight me on this, Bella," he entreated sincerely.

"Relax, Mister. I'm not going back there alone, I promise. If you don't mind going up there while I interview, that's fine with me. Any word from Jenks yet today?"

"He e-mailed me this morning to say the P.I. has located Andy and is keeping close tabs on him." I shivered at his words and he raised an eyebrow in question.

"The whole idea is just so creepy to me," I tried to explain. "I know it's necessary, it just feels kind of shady to spy on him." Shrugging, I looked at the clock. "I need to leave in about a half hour to be right on time," I informed him, trying to change the topic.

"Perfect, you can use the time to try all the bells and whistles on your cell phone," he said matter-of-factly as he tossed a sleek black phone toward me before turning to walk out of the room.

My eyes widened as I just barely made the catch. Turning the phone around in my hands, I scrolled through the menu, smiling when I saw his number as my only contact. My fingers rapidly fell back into the habit of texting, even though it had been years since I had held a cell phone. _U R a chicken shit, Jasper Whitlock!_

I finished typing the message and waited to hear his phone chirp in the other room. I jumped slightly when I felt my phone vibrate in reply. _Am not. Just know when to make a wise retreat. Safe to come back in?_

Opening the door, I smiled into his waiting face. "I promise not to damage you too much," I deadpanned as he walked toward me and pulled me in for a hug. I leaned into his hard chest and pressed my face into his soft sweater. "It's nice, Jasper. Thank you," I whispered, fighting my impulse to get irritated at the expensive gift.

"I'm glad you're not upset about it, Sweetheart. It's really a gift to me too," he explained. "I'll feel so much better knowing we can reach each other when we're apart now, especially after yesterday."

"I know, that's why I'm trying not to throw a big fit," I sighed. "I hate how expensive it is, and I hate that I can't pay for it myself, but it will be good to know you're only a call away. I was really scared yesterday," I admitted softly, still wrapped in his arms. We spent twenty minutes playing with the functions and setting ring tones before he reminded me of the time.

"Come on," he teased as he lifted me and turned me around to face away from him. "Don't want to be late for your interview, Miss Sanders," he said in a bland tone, belying the fact that he was squeezing my ass as I walked forward. Blatantly ignoring him, I walked briskly to the door of the apartment.

The fifteen minute walk went quickly as we people watched and teased each other. Smiling, I pointed out the store front to Jasper. The sign read _One Page at a Time _in a simple, elegant script. Jasper smiled back and gave me a quick peck on the lips. "It looks just right for you, Bella. Good luck, not that you'll need it, Sweets. I'll be back in an hour."

"Thanks," I whispered back, blowing a kiss as I walked in the door. My interview was with Madeline, the store's owner and sole employee. I placed her in her early fifties, noting that her fair hair had a few traces of grey. Her eyes were kind and lively, as was her sense of humor. We were laughing together within minutes, and she quickly offered me the position.

The store sold a variety of genres, mostly fiction, but some biographies as well. There was a small coffee bar in the back. Madeline explained that it was a recent addition and one of the reasons she needed to hire someone. My duties would be split between manning the coffee bar and helping customers with purchases, with occasional stocking duties during evening hours. The schedule was flexible, as she was mainly looking for someone to give her a hand while she was already there. We agreed that I would start next Monday morning.

The icing on the cake was a complete lack of dress code. Madeline herself was dressed in a conservative blouse and trouser outfit, but she assured me she abhorred censorship of any flavor, and hoped I would dress to be comfortable and express myself. I had no plans to break out the spandex again, but it was nice to know I could wear jeans if I liked.

The hour passed quickly as she gave me a tour of the store and explained the coffee maker and espresso machine. Before I knew it, the door bell was chiming as Jasper entered the store. He charmed Madeline effortlessly, sealing the deal on her affection for him by purchasing several Civil War histories she had displayed.

He paid for his books and we left hand in hand to walk back to the apartment. "Was Andy there?" I asked anxiously.

Jasper shook his head negatively. "Nope, I just left the envelope on his bed. The place was still a wreck, but it looks like your room is okay."

I shrugged a shoulder in response. "I don't really have much left there anyway. I don't have any knick knacks or anything to worry about." He hummed absently in agreement, but his eyes were far away. I let it go, figuring he would tell me if it was something important.

We spent the rest of the afternoon window shopping, taking advantage of the mild yet overcast weather. Jasper checked his Blackberry frequently, but reported there was no news from Jenks yet. He treated me to dinner at a Thai place, where I got a kick out of teasing him by waving forkfuls of spicy noodles underneath his nose.

As I enjoyed my Thai coffee, I noticed his eyes grow serious. "Spill it, Whitlock," I ordered gently, reaching for his hand. "Let me guess, you bought me a big screen TV, and you're worried I'll be pissed when you give it to me," I teased, trying to lighten his mood.

He rolled his eyes, but gave my poor joke a sympathy smile before answering. "Bella, I'm wondering if you would consider getting the rest of your stuff and formally moving in with me," he said, watching my face intently. "I would just feel really good if you never had a reason to go back there," he said firmly.

"Jasper, we both know I'm totally living with you already," I sighed. "I have no problem bringing the last of my stuff here, and I have no problem using your place as my home address, but I can't just abandon Andy on the rent. I promise never to go back there alone, but I can't give up on being his friend, either."

He nodded at my words, and I was filled with appreciation for the fact that he could at least see where I was coming from. "What if I arranged to have the rent paid every month for the rest of the year?" he suggested, looking away uncomfortably.

Fighting a flash of aggravation at his willingness to throw money away, I shook my head. "I can't let you do that, Jasper. I'm already living with you for free, and you buy ninety percent of my food. I can't let you pay rent for the place I'm not living at too. I'll just keep paying him month to month from what I earn at the bookstore. That way he can't spend it all at once, anyway," I sighed sadly. Shaking my head, I put my napkin down. "That was great, but I'm all filled up. Let's go home, Jasper."

His eyes widened at my use of the word home, but he didn't say anything about it as he paid the check. When we reached the apartment, I realized I was exhausted from my interview and walking around for the afternoon.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" he called over his shoulder as he walked into the living room. Covering my spicy Thai scented yawn with a hand, I shook my head. "I think I'm too tired tonight. I'm gonna go get comfy and read for a little bit, I think."

"Sounds good, Sweetheart. You had a busy day," he replied as he sat down and turned the on the TV. I brushed my teeth thoroughly, removing all traces of peanut chicken, and changed into yoga pants and a tank. When I rejoined Jasper in the living room, he was watching college basketball. I curled into his hard body and he clicked his tongue at me as he grabbed a pillow and maneuvered me into a more comfortable position.

"I never knew you were into sports," I commented as I opened my book. He chuckled as he started running his fingers through my hair. "I'm full of surprises, Bella," was his only response as he became absorbed in the game and I struggled to keep my eyes open as I read.

The next thing I knew, I was being placed gently on the bed. Jasper smiled down at me and pressed a soft kiss on my nose. "Go back to sleep, Bella my Beauty," he teased. "I'm gonna grab a quick shower before I join you," he informed me as he opened the closet to grab a fresh shirt. My heart stuttered as he slipped the sweater he was wearing over his head and tossed it into the hamper.

As my fatigue evaporated, I literally forced myself to breathe. Barely aware of the fact that I was moving, I rocketed myself out of the bed toward him, as he turned in surprise at my sudden motion. Thankfully, he cushioned my landing as I threw myself at his perfectly sculpted chest. His scars were faintly visible in the dim light and I traced them lightly with my hands as I stepped back to admire the interesting pattern they made over his muscles.

"Oh Bella," he sighed as he lifted me and moved us back to the bed. I pushed against him, and he allowed me to roll us so that I was on top of him, as I made it my mission to worship every scar I could find with my hands or my mouth. He purred in pleasure and the sound went straight to my groin.

He grabbed my busy hands and lifted them over my head, before quickly rolling us back over so he could press his body into mine, licking his way down my neck to top of my low cut tank top. He moved a hand back down my body to cup a breast and I moaned in anticipation as his cold finger caused my nipple to harden through the thin material of my shirt.

Smirking, he played slowly with the firm peak, pinching firmly before releasing it to feather over it with a light touch. He repeated the blissful torture on the other breast and I closed my eyes to better savor the sensations, gasping at the feeling of his cold hands raising the fabric of my tank up over my torso.

Eagerly, I lifted my shoulders to help him and he chuckled at my excitement. Before I could get mad at him for laughing, his mouth met my nipple for the first time, and my ire was lost in wave after wave of pleasure as he tongued me. His fingers paid attention to the other breast, pinching then soothing as I began writhing underneath him.

Looking down at his mouth on my tits, I clutched his hair with both hands, moaning helplessly at the unprecedented intensity of the pleasure I was experiencing. "So good, Jasper, so good," I panted.

Abruptly, he froze and my eyes met his. "What is it, what's wrong?" I choked out. He was out of the bed in a flash, grabbing a shirt and heading toward the door.

"Someone's at the door, Bella. Wait here," he instructed firmly as he walked out of the room and closed the door. Standing up, I rushed to lean against the bedroom door, listening as I heard the front door open. The sound of a male voice filled the room. Jasper's quieter voice replied, but I was unable to hear the words exchanged.

The conversation continued for several minutes, and my shoulders sagged as I began to realize the probable identity of Jasper's visitor. My eyes widened as I heard the door open again and a familiar female voice joined the conversation.

Sighing at the drama I knew would follow, I pulled out a clean t shirt and ran a brush through my hair before quietly opening the bedroom door. As I did so, her clear voice rang out, "Jasper Whitlock, why the hell does it smell like you've been rolling around on…"

The question trailed off as she registered my appearance in the door way. "…Bella fucking Swan," she finished in an icy tone, her amber eyes boring into me like lasers.

Squaring my shoulders and taking a deep breath, I walked forward into the room. "Hello Rosalie. Hello Emmett."

**JPOV**

_Approx. five minutes previous…_

I was happily engrossed in fondling Bella's perfect tits, skin on skin for the first time. They were so warm and soft, it was unlike anything I had previously experienced. Her nipples were so reactive to my cool touch, and I couldn't resist tasting them. Her responsive moans were making me rock hard and it was all I could do to stop myself from thrusting my dick onto her legs while I worshipped her breasts.

I was so focused on the task at hand that I didn't notice the sound of footsteps approaching the apartment door until just before the knock. I was off of Bella in a flash, grabbing a shirt and heading to the door after instructing her to wait in the bedroom.

I relaxed slightly as I approached the door, recognizing the scent slowly drifting in. No danger was present, but a bucket load of aggravation was waiting outside my door. Sighing, I opened the door as I registered the wave of impatience from the vampire waiting on the other side.

"Nice to see you too, Jasper," he smirked as he stepped inside the opened door. "Don't roll out the red carpet or anything," he teased good-naturedly as he gave me a half man hug.

"You know you're always welcome, Emmett, I just wasn't expecting company," I hedged, clapping him on the back. "Is anyone else with you?" I queried, noting the absence of any other vampire scents.

"Rose is downstairs arguing with the valet about how to park the car, she should be up in a second," he explained with a grin, emitting a wave of affection toward his wife. "We're just taking a week to ourselves," he continued, his face dropping slightly. A wave of concern washed over me, and I realized how accustomed I was becoming to Bella's ability to control her emotions so well.

"Christ, Jasper, who's the cleaning lady? This place reeks of sweet human. How do you stand it?" he asked, eyes lighting up with curiosity. "I haven't smelled something that sweet since…" His sentence was interrupted by Rosalie's entrance into the apartment.

"I swear to God, if there is even a scratch on that car tomorrow, the owner of this building is going to hear about it!" she bitched as she walked in. Her emotions were actually calm, despite her strident words. This was so typical of Rose, using abrasive words to keep others at bay. It was ineffective with me, as my empathy had long since revealed the fact that she was fiercely devoted to those she cared about.

She walked toward me and opened her arms. Without thinking, I moved to return the embrace. Her face froze and I realized my mistake. "Jasper Whitlock, why the hell does it smell like you've been rolling around on…"

We turned to the sound of the bedroom door opening, and both Rosalie and Emmett took unnecessary breaths. "…Bella fucking Swan," Rosalie spat out, glaring at Bella and emitting such a burst of disgust that I struggled to prevent myself from grimacing in discomfort.

Bella visibly squared her shoulders and walked toward us, quietly greeting them as she moved. Emmett's eyes were the size of saucers, and I realized I had never seen him so amazed. Back in Forks, he had stridently resisted leaving Bella but had finally succumbed in frustration when the others agreed it was best.

"Bella," he whispered, moving quickly toward her. She stepped quickly back and a shot of pain, anger and some fear lanced into me from her before disappearing. In a flash, I moved between them, turning her into my chest and wrapping my arms around her. I felt Emmett's hurt and disappointment at her reaction, as well as Rosalie's disbelief and disgust, so I instinctively pushed a wave of calm out. I registered the fact that Bella was also relaxing more into my arms and I filed the thought that she could still receive my projected emotions to explore later.

Emmett walked slowly toward us, confusion evident on his face. "Why are you hiding from us, Little Sis?" he asked, his voice full of hurt. I shook my head at him, but Bella was already stiffening in my arms.

Turning so her back was pressed into my chest, she looked him in the face. "You don't have the right to call me that anymore, Emmett." Her voice was sad but clear, and he actually recoiled from her words. Bella was trembling slightly against me, and I felt a wave of intense anxiety ripple through her before she shut it down.

Turning back to me, she spoke in a low voice. "It looks like it's going to be a late night. I'm going to grab a shower while you guys catch up. You can tell them what they need to know about me," she sighed into my chest.

I gently pushed her back enough to allow me to look into her eyes. Her expression was calm, but I could feel the anxiety vibrating through her little body. "Are you sure, Sweetheart? I don't have to tell them anything. You say the word and I'll keep my mouth shut," I told her, not caring that Emmett and Rosalie could hear everything we were saying too each other.

"The damage is already done, Jasper. They're here, and they're going to want answers. You don't have to lie to them for me," she whispered.

She looked so frail and tense, more like the Bella I had watched at the bar all those weeks ago than the confident woman I had walked around with earlier today. I reached down to tip her chin up to me and pressed a soft kiss on her lips, ignoring the huge rush of shock being emitted by Rosalie and Emmett. "Trust me, Bella. It will all be okay, I promise." She bit her lip and shrugged her shoulders in response before turning to head back into the bedroom.

I watched her walk away and fought the frustration that was building inside of me. We had been making so much progress on her trust issues, and the upheaval of seeing Rose and Emmett was the last thing she needed right now. Sighing, I turned back to my "brother" and "sister".

"Have a seat," I offered, gesturing to the couch. "I'm just gonna check on her real quick and I'll be back so we can talk. I'm sure you have questions," I added wryly. They sat down quickly, Emmett still feeling hurt and confused, Rosalie switching between curiosity and anger at Bella.

I followed Bella into the bedroom, scooping her into my arms before the door closed. She was literally shaking as I sat down on the bed and rocked her. "I'm sure it's hard to see them, Sweetheart, and that it brings up a lot of memories. But I can't figure out what has you so scared," I admitted.

She looked up at me with wide eyes. "He'll know now, Jasper. He'll see it in their thoughts, and he'll know, and he'll try to find me, and I don't want to see him," she babbled breathlessly, her breaths coming short and harsh. Her heart began to race, and I realized she was slipping into a full out panic attack.

"Stay with me, Bella. Slow your breaths," I instructed calmly, settling her back on the bed and holding her face between my hands. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I don't know what their plans are, or when they'll even see Edward. It doesn't matter though. You don't want to see him, you don't have to, end of story," I said firmly.

"Promise?" she begged, clutching my hands with hers. "I promise, Bella." Tentatively, I pushed a small amount of calm toward her, and it seemed to work, as her breaths began to slow and even out. Her little hands relaxed and she sat up. "Sorry, Jasper, I'm okay now," she mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

"You have nothing to apologize for, Sweetheart. Go take your shower, I'll be waiting for you when you're done."

She shook her head negatively. "You go back out there and tell them. I'll come out when I'm ready," she said firmly as she leaned forward to kiss me softly on the mouth.

"I'm proud of you, Bella," I whispered against her mouth. Giving her a smile, I stood up and walked out to the living room, closing the door behind me. I was greeted by the image of a fuming Rosalie pacing back and forth in front of Emmett. Hearing my approach, she whipped around and pointed a finger accusingly at me.

"What are you thinking, Jasper?" she hissed at me. "That girl has been nothing but trouble for our family since she stumbled into Forks. Edward still hasn't gotten her out of his system, and now you're getting involved with her?" Her words were harsh, full of anger over the breakup of her family. On top of her blame and anger at Bella, I could also feel her love and concern for me, so I resisted the urge to snap at her.

"I appreciate your concern, Rosalie. Have a seat and I'll fill you in on how we got here," I said gently. I was gratified when she quickly complied, and I told the story of the moment I found Bella. They listened in silence as I relayed the tale of how we met and what had happened to her prior to my reappearance in her life, ending with the description of Andy's recent behavior.

Pain and sorrow poured off of Emmett as he listened to me speak. "We never should have left her," he moaned. "I knew we never should have left her, no matter what happened between her and Edward. She must hate us all," he stated, searching my eyes for an answer.

Sighing, I tried to explain without putting words in her mouth. "I don't think she hates anyone, Emmett. I can't always feel what she's feeling, so I'm not sure, but I don't think she hates us for leaving. She's real mad at Edward for lying to her…" I broke off as Emmett growled at the reminder of how Edward had left things with her. "But she only blames Victoria for the deaths of her family and for making her live in fear."

"I want to make it up to her, Jasper," he said forcefully. "Tell me what to do to make it right with her?" Rosalie rolled her eyes at his words, but I felt the surge of affection she was feeling for her soft hearted husband.

"I don't think Hallmark sells a card for 'Sorry we ruined your life', Emmett," she chided without heat. "I'm sure she'll have you wrapped around her fingers again soon, just give her time, baby."

Rosalie's emotional reaction to Bella's story was mixed. She still blamed Bella for the fracture of the Cullen family, but she was more sympathetic to Bella's plight after hearing about her struggles.

Our conversation broke off as we heard Bella open the door and enter the room. I smiled as her scent registered, for even though she had soap of her own here now, she smelled of my body wash. She walked further into the room, heading for the kitchen.

"I'm going to grab some water, anyone need anything while I'm there?" she quipped dryly as she walked. Emmett cracked a huge grin at her joke, a surge of hope blazing from him. "You know what, Bella, I'm starving, what else ya got in there?" he asked eagerly as he stood up to meet her in the kitchen.

She watched in amazement as he opened the fridge and rooted around. "Emmett, what are you doing?" she asked loudly.

"Being a jack-ass," Rosalie snapped from the couch, rolling her eyes as she surfed the channels on TV.

"Bingo!" Emmett shouted as he pulled out the milk. "I could go for some cereal," he enthused, grabbing a box of Cheerios from the counter. Bella and I stood frozen, watching as he poured a giant bowl and dumped milk onto it before raising a large spoonful to his mouth.

His eyes twinkled as he opened his mouth for the cold, dripping mess. Bella turned to me, raising one eyebrow. "What happens when you guys eat, Jasper?" she asked conversationally.

I grinned at her as I answered, matching her light tone. "You ever seen a cat with a fur ball?" She nodded affirmatively in response. "Well, it's about like that, Bella."

Wrinkling her nose in disgust, she turned to Emmett, who was still holding the dripping spoon in front of his face. "Enough, Emmett. I've had a long day, and cleaning up vampire barf is not on my to-do list," she barked at him as she walked over and snatched the spoon out of his hand. Despite her harsh tone, she couldn't stop the smile from creeping across her face.

"Besides, you'd have to eat something way nastier than cereal to make me feel bad for you," she said crisply, smacking the back of his head with the spoon.

He shot me a huge grin, and I felt a surge of hopefulness from him. "Name it, Bella, I'll eat it if it'll put a smile on your face," he teased as he gently snatched the spoon back from her and tapped her on the nose with it. Her smile widened and she stifled a giggle at his antics.

Unable to restrain himself any longer, he slowly moved forward with his arms open. "Please, Bella?" he asked hesitantly. She gazed at him for a minute before stepping into his hug. He folded his large arms around her and she leaned into him. "I'm sorry, Bella. So sorry," he whispered over and over as he held her tight. "Me too, Emmett," she sighed sadly.

"All right, break it up in there," Rosalie shouted from the living room. "He's sorry, you're sorry, everyone's friends again," she snarked. Bella and Emmett stepped apart and she proceeded to get her water while Emmett rejoined Rose on the couch.

"You made his day, Bella," I told her as we walked into the living room. Bella followed me to the smaller couch and sat down beside me, snuggling into my side as I wrapped an arm around her. Rosalie rolled her eyes again, but Emmett just grinned at us.

"I can never understand how it can be comfortable for you to cuddle with a vampire, Bella," he said with a laugh. "It must be like leaning on a statue!"

Before Bella could answer, I felt a wave of irritation from Rosalie. "Of course she's comfortable, Emmett. She probably feels just like she did when she was curled up with her true love back in Forks. You remember him, a guy named Edward," she snapped as she stood up and walked abruptly out the door of the apartment.

I forced myself to remain absolutely still and make no reaction to Rose's words. In truth, her comment struck a nerve. I knew Bella genuinely cared about me, but it was easy to wonder if she sometimes imagined I was Edward.

Emmett made an apologetic face as he stood to follow her. "I'm sorry Bella. She's just still real upset about the family being split up. I'll go talk to her," he said as he walked out the door.

Bella turned her body to face me and reached up to move my head toward her. Leaving her hands on either side of my face, she knelt up on her knees. "You think she's right, don't you?" she whispered sadly.

I didn't reply, but she must have felt my discomfort on the matter, since she continued talking. "I'm so sorry for letting you feel that way, Jasper. I haven't done a good job of letting you know how happy you make me, how good I feel around you," she said, a tear slipping down her face.

"Being with you is _nothing_ like being with Edward," she said urgently. "When I cuddle with you, I'm enjoying being in _your _arms, not dreaming of being in his. With Edward, I always felt like I wasn't enough. Not beautiful enough, not strong enough, not good enough. I loved him, but that wasn't enough either," she continued, shrugging her shoulders.

"But you," she said breathlessly, "you make me feel like I'm a hundred feet tall. Like I'm strong enough to take on anything. And if I'm not strong enough, I know you'll be standing right beside me to help. You treat me like an equal, you treat me like I'm desirable, and you never push me away. You are _nothing_ like Edward, and I'm so sorry I let you feel that way._"_

With her last sentence, she broke into sobs. "Don't cry, Sweetheart. I know you don't think I'm him. It just touched a nerve when Rosalie said it, that's all. I know you have a past, so do I," I said in a soothing voice as I wrapped her in my arms again.

"No, that's not good enough, Jasper. You need to know, to understand how I feel," she said desperately, her heart pounding. Before I could reply, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. I gasped as I literally felt her emotional wall dissolving. Her emotions hit me like a freight train, so many that I could barely keep track of them, each one almost sharp in sensation to me.

Pain for causing me pain, anger at Rosalie, and fatigue were all present, but the most predominant feeling was love. Her love felt clear and strong, almost like rushing water, threatening to sweep me away with its intensity. Her eyes continued to shine with tears as I leaned over to her to capture her lips with mine in a forceful kiss.

"I love you too, Bella," I whispered into her mouth as we kissed, and I gently pushed a small amount of my love toward her. Her eyes widened and she gasped as she felt it. Her hands clutched my shoulders and a beautiful smile graced her teary face.

"Wow," she said quietly.

"Yeah, wow's about right, Sweetheart," I replied, leaning in for another kiss.

We were both startled by Emmett clearing his throat, standing in the doorway with Rosalie. "Sorry, I know we're interrupting your 'moment'," he joked, making air quotes with his hands. I fought a wave of irritation, but Bella just laughed at his awful timing. "Rosalie had something she wanted to say," he continued, emitting nervousness as he pulled his wife back into the apartment.

Bella climbed into my lap and turned to face them. "Before you start, Rosalie, I have something to say to you," she said firmly. "You can say anything you want about me. I'm a big girl, I can take it, and honestly your opinion of me just isn't that important. But you need to understand, that shit you just said, that didn't hurt me, that hurt Jasper, and that's a problem for me," she continued, eyes blazing.

"So if you have anything else you want to get off your chest about me, let's go somewhere private and you can have at it. But I won't tolerate you throwing my past in Jasper's face just to get a reaction. I loved Edward, he left me, and I had no choice but to get over it. Jasper and I found each other, and I'm not ashamed of that, so if you want to be around here, get used to it," Bella growled.

Rosalie raised a perfect eyebrow and sauntered into the room. "Impressive," she said grudgingly. "Kitten's got claws, huh, Jasper? Anyway, you made your point. I apologize to both of you, I was out of line," she continued smoothly. "I am what I am, I'm not gonna promise to be nice or anything, but I'll keep your past out of it from now on."

Bella remained on my lap, and gave a small nod to Rosalie. "Deal," she said in a clear voice. Turning back to me, Bella tucked her head under my chin. "I'm tired. Come tuck me in?" she asked.

Scooping her up in my arms, I walked her to the bedroom. "Wouldn't miss it, Sweets."

"G'night Bells," Emmett called from the living room. She flinched a little at Charlie's nickname for her and I frowned. Before I could reprimand him, she shook her head. "It's okay, Jasper. It's a good thing to remember him."

She changed into one of my t-shirts and a pair of little shorts. I tucked her in as usual and lay down beside her. "Will you stay until I fall asleep?" she mumbled into my chest as she curled into me.

"I'll stay all night if you want me to, Bella," I answered softly.

"No, they miss you and you miss them. You need to spend time with them. Just let me fall asleep before you go," she said drowsily.

"Okay, baby. I'll be right in if you start to have a nightmare."

"I know, Jasper." Her breaths were already slowing into an even pattern as I smiled at her words of faith in me. I had been so worried about her reaction when Emmett and Rosalie showed up, but she was once again proving to be stronger than I could ever imagine. She drifted into a deep sleep, so I kissed the top of her head as I stood carefully and went out to visit with my "siblings."

**AN-**

**Mynxi, thanks for everything you do! If there's no punishment, what's the reward, hmmm? Do I wanna know?**

**Thanks to every single reviewer! I love you all so much! I cracked 300 after the last chapter! That means I've smiled over 300 times thanks to you all! I still reply to each one, and I've started giving hints of what's up next with my replies!**

**Several people have asked whether I've posted on any other sights yet. The answer is no, not yet. We have a chapter or so to go before hard core user agreement violation will occur, plus I think the moral minority like to go after the bigger, more popular fics, so I might be fine. Anyway, I'll post on my profile and in an AN whenever I finally decide where I'm posting my back up!**

**OK, now the hard part. I have to revise expectations a little. I'm sure you've noticed my inability to update once a week, so I'm going to start planning for every 2 weeks, in hopes that I can actually live up to that. I promise, I'll keep them coming on a regular basis, I just can't seem to work much faster than that! Thanks for your patience!**

**Love you all!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Happy Friday! Here it is, and it's early! Many thanks to Mynxi for the super fast turnaround, in spite of her busy Real Life! Now get comfy, this one's a long one!**

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer. **

Chapter Eleven

**JPOV**

Taking a mental "cleansing breath", I walked back out into the living room to face Emmett and Rosalie. They were seated together on the couch, both of them looking at me expectantly as I walked at a human pace to sit down in the vacant chair.

"Is Bella Dear all tucked in for nighty-night?" Rose asked snidely. Emmett gave me an apologetic glance, but I shrugged at him. Despite the nasty tone of her question, she was emitting no real malice. In fact, her primary emotion was pain and loss.

"For now," I answered calmly, not rising to her bait. "She has bad nightmares most nights, so I might have to go calm her down again in awhile."

Emmett's face clouded at that information and I felt sadness from both of them. "How is she, really, Jasper?" Emmett asked after a minute. "She kept up a good front tonight, but there's no way she lived through that without it affecting her."

"She's getting better all the time, actually, Emmett. She handled you guys much better than I could have hoped for." I paused for a moment, recalling the Bella I had discovered almost two months ago. "She was almost completely shut down when I ran into her, just surviving on auto-pilot. It's been a slow process for her to start to trust me, but she's been doing great lately, letting me help her with money and quitting her job because it wasn't safe."

"I hate that she was all alone," Emmett said sadly. "To go through all that is bad enough, but she didn't have anyone to even talk to. It must have been horrible for her."

I nodded absently at him as I listened to her steady heart beat in the next room. "She's still scared to death that I'll leave and she'll be alone again," I answered softly. "She's so reluctant to accept my help because in the back of her mind she's still planning for when I leave her."

A deep wave of sadness came from Emmett, so I pushed out a moderate amount of happiness at him. "We never should have left her," he repeated. "I wish we could take it back and not leave her alone."

I felt a wave of irritation and pain from Rosalie. "Better yet, Emmett, wish that she had never fucking come to Forks in the first place. She could have lived her normal life in Phoenix and we would all still be a family!" she snapped. "Instead, she's a wreck, Edward's a basket case, Alice is freakier than usual, and the rest of us are miserable watching it all! There is no way she is worth all of this!" she hissed, glaring in the direction of the bedroom.

"Rose, you can't really say that, you never took the time to get to know her. All you know is what Edward told you, you never spent time with her. She's a lot different than what he said," I explained. "Now what's up with him, anyway? Still moving place to place? And why is Alice freakier than ever?" I asked, dreading the answers.

Rosalie rolled her eyes at me and huffed. Emmett rubbed the back of his head and reluctantly began to answer. "Edward is still moving around, we saw him last about three months ago. Carlisle and Esme just visited him in South America somewhere, they said he's still a wreck, but he won't come home."

I nodded, unsurprised. Edward had been devastated when we left Forks and Bella behind, and it seemed time had not improved his outlook on life. "What about Alice, Emmett?" I asked, forcing myself to use a neutral tone of voice. Loving Bella gave me a different perspective on the life I had shared with Alice, and tonight thinking of her made me angry rather than sad.

Emmett looked even more uncomfortable. "Well, you know how she was before you finally left, Jasper. She wouldn't talk to any of us, just spaced out all the time."

I nodded wordlessly, remembering the pain of watching my wife completely shut me and our family out of her world.

"Well, she started talking again about two months after you left, but it was almost worse. It was like she was just constantly in a vision, talking about this choice and that choice and the different futures she saw. Carlisle finally forced her to take a trip up to Canada with him, and when they came back she was calmer, more in the present. She was good for about a year, but she's started acting weird again a couple months ago. Always running scenarios again, muttering about decisions and intervening, stuff that doesn't make sense," he finished, emitting more sadness as he spoke.

Sighing, I ran my hand through my hair, wishing I was curled up next to Bella rather than hearing that my ex wife was apparently unstable. At the sound of my sigh, Rosalie whipped her head around to glare at me.

"So while you've been buddying up with Bella here, Alice is falling apart, Jasper. No one knows what to do. Carlisle's even talked about taking her to visit the Volturi, hoping they'd have an idea."

Shivering at the thought of Alice in the care of the Volturi, I kept my voice low as I responded. "I sure as hell hope it doesn't come down to that, Rose. I wish nothing but the best for Alice, and I hope she gets better, but you're acting like you expect me to do something about it, when it's really none of my business at this point."

Rose's face went almost blank for a moment, before she looked at me pleadingly. "I just want my family back, Jasper. Let's all go back to Syracuse together," she suggested, becoming excited. "Bring Bella, we'll call Edward and tell him you found her. He'll come home, they'll be together, happy ever after. You can fix Alice and make up with her, and we'll all be together again. I'll even try to be nice to Bella," she begged earnestly.

Emmett pulled her into this side, running his fingers through her lush blonde hair. I walked over to kneel in front of them and took one of her hands. "I'm so sorry, Rose. I know how much you're hurting over this," I said truthfully. "But that's just never going to happen. If there's something concrete I can do to help Alice, I'm willing to try, but even then, she and I are over. And I know the same goes for Bella. I offered to call Edward when I found her, and she practically told me to go to hell. Bella and I are moving forward together, neither one of us is going to go back," I told her gently.

In a rare show of vulnerability, Rose closed her eyes and pressed her face into Emmett's body. "I know that, Jasper," she admitted without looking at me. "It was just wishful thinking to go back to the way it was before," she sighed sadly.

"I know you're just worried about your family, Rose. You just have to try to remember that the way you care about the Cullens is part of the way I feel about Bella now. I'm all she has, she's relying on me, and I'm not going to let her down again," I said firmly. "Which means, if you're going to be here, I expect a certain level of politeness toward her."

She rolled her eyes at me, but before she could interrupt, I continued. "I'm not asking you to be her best friend, just try not to attack her constantly," I suggested with a wry smile.

"Whatever, Jasper. I'm not promising anything, but I'll try not to destroy her fragile emotional state," she snapped. Her emotions told a different story, a mix of respect and affection for me, so I hoped she would be on better behavior tomorrow.

We passed the rest of the evening catching up. The Cullens were living in Syracuse and Rose and Emmett were doing the college thing again. Alice had been too unstable to enroll and was spending a lot of time travelling, both on her own and with Esme.

I filled Rose and Emmett in on Bella's ability to block her emotions from me and the peace we felt when we touched. Emmett was amazed at her effect on my blood lust. "You mean you're thirsty, you touch her and it vanishes?"

"Well, first of all, I don't let myself get thirsty around her. I'm hunting every other day as a precaution, so I haven't tested the limits, but yeah, as soon as I touch her, I feel no thirst, nothing but peace." I broke off from my explanation as I heard Bella's heart rate begin to pick up.

"Gotta go, she's starting to dream," I said as I stood.

Emmett looked sad and nodded. "Go make her feel better, J," he said softly as I left the living room.

I made it to Bella before she started screaming, but she was gasping and writhing in the sheets. She settled down as soon as I touched her, not even waking as I moved her to tuck her in again. "Don't leave me," she whispered in her sleep as I brushed the hair out of her face.

"I won't leave you, Sweetheart. I'll be right here when you wake up," I murmured into her hair.

"Okay," she mumbled into the comforter between us before her breathing evened out and she returned to deep sleep. I closed my eyes and listened to Emmett and Rose talk about our relationship from the next room. He was cautiously supportive, but fearful that we were using each other out of convenience. Rose was skeptical that we were anything other than rebounding on each other. I rolled my eyes, but refrained from commenting even though they would easily hear me.

Bella woke early, cuddling into me tightly and pressing a kiss onto the top of my chest, just over the edge of the blanket. "Mornin'," she said sleepily. "Did you get a chance to visit before you came in?" she asked with a little frown.

"Yeah, we had a little talk," I replied. I filled her in on Alice and Edward's situations and her frown grew more pronounced.

"What a fucking mess," she sighed sadly. "Everybody's hurting, but I don't know how to fix it."

"Not your job to fix it," I answered simply. "You ready to eat breakfast?" I asked, hoping to distract her from thoughts of Edward and Alice.

"Just let me get dressed, I'll be right out," she answered with a sad smile.

I made my way out to the living room, greeting Rose and Emmett. "Bella and I are gonna go grab something quick for her breakfast. Do you two have plans? How long are you here for anyway?" I asked, realizing I had no idea how long Bella and I would be hosting them.

Rose looked up from the magazine she was thumbing through. "We weren't planning on staying long. I wanted to do some shopping, hit a night club, just have a few days in the city. Of course, that was before we knew you had shacked up with Bella here, Jasper. We can skip the shopping and the club, I know Bella isn't in to that," Rose answered snidely.

I didn't respond because Bella strode into the living room. "Good morning, Emmett, Rosalie. I couldn't help overhearing, and I wouldn't hear of you changing your plans because of me," she said smoothly. "I'm up for whatever you guys want to do." Her words were sweet, but her tone was firm, and I wondered if she knew what she was getting herself into by baiting Rose.

"Fantastic," Rose answered in a fake eager voice. "I want to check out a club called Viper downtown. It's supposed to be a good scene, even on weekdays. It's a pretty A-list crowd though, so I imagine we'll need a trip to update your wardrobe a little," Rose went on, eying Bella's worn jeans and layered t-shirts disdainfully.

To her credit, Bella didn't even flinch at Rose's insult. "Actually, Rosalie, a new outfit isn't in my budget right now, but it's no problem. I used to work with a girl who waitresses at Viper, and I happen to know that Tuesdays are rave nights, alternative attire encouraged. I have several outfits that will work just fine. I'd be glad to come along on your shopping trip to help you find something appropriate, if you'd like though." Bella's voice matched Rose's false enthusiasm to a T.

Emmett and I just sat and watched with our mouths shut. Rose's emotions were a jumble of irritation, frustration and grudging respect. She narrowed her eyes momentarily at Bella, before pasting her fake smile on and standing. "Let's get going then," she enthused. "We'll pick up your breakfast on the way. I'm sure Jasper would want you to pick out something new for yourself, though," she suggested slyly.

I decided to step in before Bella got really pissed. "Good luck getting her to spend my money, Rose. I sure can't get her to do it," I cut in smoothly. "Fortunately, she looks great in whatever she wears. I can't wait to see what you choose for tonight, Sweets. I've missed a few of your work outfits," I teased, winking at Bella as I spoke.

She winked back at me as she walked to the closet to get her coat. Using vampire speed, I caught up with her in time to help her put it on. "You okay with this?" I asked quietly. "I thought Emmett and I could go hunt while you're out, but if you don't want to go with her, you don't have to."

Bella just smiled and pulled my head down to her for a soft open mouthed kiss. "You boys go play in the woods, Rosalie and I will be just fine," she said confidently as we separated. "I love you, Jasper."

Unable to keep the smile off of my face, I leaned down to kiss her again. "I love you too, Bella." She turned and walked toward the front door. I glanced over at Rose, who was checking her reflection in the hall mirror. "I expect you to play nice, Rosalie Hale," I warned, raising one eyebrow.

"I don't ever play nice, Jasper, but I will play fair," was her response as she and Bella walked out the door.

I shrugged my shoulders and hoped for the best. I knew Bella could handle herself against Rose, but I didn't want her to start doubting herself and my feelings for her due to Rose's bitchy comments. Grabbing my keys, I called over to Emmett. "Ready to go? I know a place where we might be able to find a grouchy hibernating bear to annoy."

He was on his feet in a flash and we were on our way over to north Jersey. Emmett peppered me with questions as I drove. "So what do you think let's her block her emotions from you? She never could before, and you've never mentioned anyone else being able to do that," he said, radiating curiosity and concern.

Frowning, I tried to phrase my answer correctly. "I think she started really shutting down strong emotions, primarily fear, in order to keep surviving, Emmett. She just didn't have the luxury of having a breakdown or panic attack, so every time she felt strongly, she just forced it down. Normally, her emotions are just blank to me. When she gets upset, I get flashes of her feelings, and then it just turns off, like a switch. She let her emotions out last night, but she had to really think about it and relax before I could feel anything."

Emmett gave me a hard look. "That must be a nice break for you, Jasper," he said in an odd tone.

Confused, I shrugged as I answered. "I guess so. It was really weird at first, I'm so used to feeling what others are feeling, it felt kind of empty until I got used to it. Sometimes I get frustrated when I can't tell what's upsetting to her. Why are you projecting suspicion at me right now, anyway, Em?" I asked, unable to account for his strange reaction.

"I just have to wonder after everything you told us about the way Edward left her, if maybe one of the reasons he was so obsessed with her was that he couldn't get into her head. It didn't work out so good for her, and I just want to make sure you're not just with her because she's a break from the drama you pick up on from the rest of us," he explained in a low voice, emitting a strong wave of protectiveness toward Bella.

"Hmm, I never thought about that with Edward, you may be on to something with that, Emmett," I began, internally laughing at the irritation pouring off of him as he waited for me to defend my feelings for Bella. "Relax, Em, you're not her dad, or even her brother. She won't appreciate it if you start pulling that in front of her right now, believe me. Now, my inability to feel what she's feeling has nothing to do with why I'm with her. If I start picking up her emotions today, it won't change a thing. I love and respect her, and I like how she treats me. I've never been in a relationship like this before, and I like how it feels," I admitted as I pulled into the State Forest parking area.

"I still don't know if this is good for her though, Jasper. She should date a regular guy, at least have that experience before she goes all nutty for you and gets caught up in our world again," he sighed as we headed down a trail.

"Emmett, we all left her, but she stayed in our world. Victoria's out there somewhere right now, and you're a fool if you think she's forgotten about Bella. The Bella I met this year wouldn't date a regular guy because she wouldn't want to endanger someone in case Victoria ever caught up with her. Don't make Edward's mistake and try to run her life the way you think is best, she won't put up with it," I warned him.

He nodded briefly and we ended our conversation to split up and search silently for the scent of bear. I wandered across several deer and took them down quickly, eager to be done and on the road home. I met up with Emmett again and could tell from the self satisfaction he was oozing that he had been successful in finding a sleeping bear.

"Grouchy enough to put up a good fight?" I queried as we walked back to the car.

"Best I've had in awhile," he admitted with a broad grin.

We made our way back to the car in companionable silence. I took the opportunity to drive fast since the roads were almost empty. I picked up a wave of regret from Emmett before he spoke again. "Listen, man, I'm sorry I gave you a hard time about Bella. I know I don't have a right to judge you guys, I just want to look out for her, now that I've found her again. I hope someday she can forgive me enough to rely on me again, and I won't jeopardize that by being overbearing about your relationship."

Smiling, I pushed a little pride towards him. "You're on the right track, Emmett. You made more progress last night than I made in weeks with her," I admitted, remembering how skittish she had been. "Just remember, she doesn't need a guardian, she needs a friend." I paused for a moment, pondering my words. "Okay, so she does need a guardian what with the Victoria situation and the drug addict roommate's creepy pal. But she needs a friend, not a judge," I amended with a short laugh.

"Dude, she is a trouble magnet," he agreed.

We made good time back to Manhattan and we beat the girls back to the apartment. I texted Bella to make sure she was okay, only somewhat reassured when I received her simple answer of "yes."

"Stop worrying, Jasper. Rose cares about you too much to wreck what you have with Bella. 'Sides, Bells isn't going to let Rose walk all over her anymore. They'll be fine, and maybe they'll even see eye to eye by the time they're done," he suggested hopefully.

I had my doubts on that, but I kept them to myself, not wanting to dampen Emmett's hopes. Shrugging at him, I turned to check my e-mail, hoping for a progress report from Jenks. Sure enough, a new message from him waited in my inbox. Scanning the information quickly, I sighed in frustration. Andy was in even deeper shit than I could have imagined. Emmett was right, Bella was a trouble magnet.

"What's up?" Emmett asked, hearing my sigh.

"Bad news about Bella's roommate," I answered slowly, already mentally weighing options on how to keep Bella safe. "These assholes he's palin' around with are running a gang they call the 'K2'," I explained.

"What, as in the deadliest mountain, K2?" Emmett interrupted.

"Actually, it's only the sixth deadliest mountain," I corrected absently. "The true deadliest ones all have ten letter Tibetan names so no one really talks about them. Anyway, yeah, supposedly they're named after the mountain. Apparently, they have a reputation for being brutal and unstoppable. They're unique among the gangs because they're not based on an ethic group. Members are recruited based on intelligence and ruthlessness, race is not a factor."

I re-read the report again before I continued. "This says their name is doubly appropriate because they have a history of violence against women and the mountain K2 supposedly is cursed against women. The gang is involved in narcotics, weapons smuggling, as well as human trafficking and prostitution. Apparently, these guys are such bad news that the PI is no longer willing to be involved, so I'll have to make other arrangements."

I was dialing Jenks as the words left my mouth. He answered on the first ring. "Your girl found herself a real winner there, Mr. Whitlock. These guys love to abuse women any way they can, and apparently Bella's on their radar now. My PI wants nothing to do with these guys, but I'm already working on assembling a team of ex-military guys I trust to continue the surveillance," he fired out rapidly.

"Good work, Jenks, thanks for being proactive on this. I don't like this one bit, and my strong preference would be to relocate her out of here, but I'm not sure she'll agree while the roommate is in danger," I said tersely. "I want accurate information as quickly as possible so we can figure out the best way to get Andy out of there. Any word on contacting his relatives?"

"Haven't been able to contact the grandmother yet, Mr. Whitlock. Her neighbors say she's out of the country for another month. I have her home under surveillance; I'll notify you as soon as she returns."

"Okay, Jenks," I sighed. "Get your team together and get them to work. I want regular updates along with their recommendations on strategy for extracting Andy."

"Will do, Sir," he responded quickly. "I have a question before you go, Mr. Whitlock," he began, uncertainty filling his voice.

"Go ahead," I answered, eager to find out what had the usually unflappable Jenks indecisive.

"Well, my 'guy' who got into the Forks PD last month mentioned that there are boxes and boxes of personal effects from the Swan house still in the cold case evidence room. He thinks he could actually get the stuff out without being detected, for the right price," Jenks said, hesitantly.

Weighing the information carefully, I paused before answering. If this 'guy' were to get caught, it might put Bella back under the spotlight, the last thing she needed. On the other hand, I knew she would appreciate having anything to remind her of the family she would never see again.

"How much do you trust this guy, Jenks?" I finally asked.

"He's been excellent to date, Mr. Whitlock. I use him on difficult projects when I need to infiltrate police offices, banks, stuff like that. He approached me with the idea and I thought I'd better run it by you, although I don't like the way he's pushing for more money," he admitted thoughtfully.

"Have him move forward on it, Jenks. Money is no obstacle, as you're aware. However, if he leaves a trace of any kind that increases Bella's profile, he doesn't get a dime. Make sure he's clear on that," I instructed.

Jenks agreed to pass the message on and ended the conversation. Turning to Emmett, I took in his concerned expression. "A day in the life of Bella Swan," I sighed sadly.

His eyes became determined and I felt a wave of respect from him. I closed my eyes momentarily at the unaccustomed feeling. "If anyone can keep her safe, it's you Jasper," he said softly. "I'm glad you found her."

"I'll do my damndest, Emmett. I can't even think about something happening to her. She's the most important thing in my universe now."

**BPOV**

I silently followed Rosalie out of the apartment and down to the garage, surprised that we would be driving. I heard her muttering to herself as we approached a pristine, cherry red Maserati GranTurismo convertible. She walked slowly around the car, her eyes darting for the signs of any imperfection. Finally satisfied, she unlocked the doors and motioned for me to get into the car.

"Where do you want to get your food?" she demanded tersely as she pulled out of the garage.

"Um, there's a bagel shop two blocks over, but I don't think you'll find parking this time of day," I answered nonchalantly.

"I park where I want, Bella. It won't be a problem, trust me," she purred as she floored the powerful little car down the quiet street. Within seconds we were double parked in front of the bagel shop. "Go get what you need, I'll wait here," she ordered.

The thought of eating in Rosalie's precious car suddenly made my stomach churn. I was no longer the intimidated little girl I had been in Forks, but the thought of the consequences of spilling coffee on her leather seats was daunting. "Are you sure you want me to eat in the car, Rosalie?" I queried hesitantly, hating the fact that I was letting her make me nervous.

"Whatever, if you spill, I'll make Jasper buy me a new one," she snapped at me. Rolling her eyes, she waved a hand at me. "Get a move on, would you? I don't feel like flirting my way out of a parking ticket right now, Bella."

I forced myself to exit the car at a casual pace and went into the shop to make my purchases. Unwilling to deal with the risk of drinking a hot beverage while Rosalie manhandled the Italian sports car at high speeds, I selected a double espresso, quickly sipping it down while I waited for them to toast my bagel.

Returning to the car in an unhurried manner, I calmly opened the door and sat down to fasten my seatbelt. "What, no coffee to go?" she asked. "Too scared to tell Jasper he owes me a new car because you're a klutz, huh?"

I finished daintily chewing my bite of bagel before I answered. "No, Jasper would be glad to replace yours and buy me one too, if I asked him. I just firmly believe that a good cup of coffee should be savored and revered in a serene environment, not tossed back quickly in some bitchmobile," I replied calmly.

She snorted delicately but made no comment back. She pulled us onto the Queensboro Bridge and we were on the LIE before I knew it. "You're shopping in the 'burbs instead of the Village?" I asked incredulously.

She raised her eyebrows at me as she replied. "First of all, I couldn't even take you to the places I normally shop dressed like that, Bella," she said without heat. "Second, I'm sure I can find something good enough to wear to 'rave night' at the mall. Third, the drive will give us a chance to talk," she said crisply.

"Okay," I said slowly. "So talk, then, Rosalie. What's on your mind?"

"As much as it pains me to say it, Bella, you must suit Jasper. This is the happiest he's looked since we left Forks, and the only thing that's different is you. That said, you hurt him and I will fuck you up," she finished matter-of-factly.

Ignoring her threat, I answered in a brisk tone. "I'm glad you think he looks happy. I didn't know him very well before, so sometimes he's hard for me to read."

"So that's it then, you're over Edward, on to Jasper, happily ever after forever and ever?" she hissed suddenly.

My head spun a little, trying to keep up with her mood change. I tried to collect my thoughts into a reasonable answer.

"Forever is a long time, Rosalie, unless it isn't," I sighed sadly. "Edward taught me that. So yeah, I'm over that relationship. As for happily ever after for me and Jasper, who knows? We're just getting to know each other, I'm not ready to say 'forever' to him yet, and I don't think he's ready to say it to me either."

She was silent for a minute before she responded. "So when you say forever, you'll have him change you?" she asked quietly.

Swallowing heavily, I forced myself to answer. "We haven't gone there, Rosalie. I have no idea if that's something he would consider, much less if it's something I want," I whispered, noting with relief that we were pulling into the parking lot of Roosevelt Field Mall.

Turning the engine off, she turned to face me. "You shouldn't do it, Bella," she said in the most urgent voice I'd ever heard her use. "Stay human. Let Jasper get tired of you and then go on your way, Bella. Find a human man, get married, have babies, live a normal life." Her amber eyes boring into mine as my mind raced at her statement.

"Rosalie Hale," I began, struggling to keep my voice controlled and to contain the rage I felt at her audacity. "I don't know where the fuck you get off, telling me what to do with my life, but since you feel the need to do so, here are some things you forgot to factor in. The insult to Jasper's integrity aside, you're crazy if you think I could just start over with a normal guy and live a normal life," I said, anger causing my voice to tremble.

"I don't allow myself to get close to _anyone_, Rosalie, because it's too fucking dangerous to be close to me. You think my future actually holds _babies_ in it?"I asked incredulously. "How could I bring a life into my world, Rosalie? A world where a psychopathic vampire bitch is stalking me and everyone I care about? I don't fucking think so! So shut up about shit that isn't any of your business and don't fucking judge me or my decisions! Now let's go shop and get it the fuck over with," I huffed as I opened the car door and stood up.

Our eyes met across the top of the car as we simultaneously shut the doors. She didn't answer, but gave me a small nod before she moved to walk into the mall.

Our shopping trip was mercifully brief, and for the first time I was actually glad that I was with Rosalie rather than Alice. Rosalie seemed to know exactly which store would have a rave-appropriate outfit and was quickly in and out. I browsed while she made her purchases, grimacing at the high priced trashy outfits. I could have dressed her from the shops I bought my waitress gear from for half the cost. Shrugging, I reminded myself that she could easily afford it.

Our next stop was a shoe store, which took slightly longer due to Rosalie's apparent shoe fetish. As she tried and re-tried pair after pair, I stood admiring a fabulous pair of black knee-high lace ups with three inch heels. They would have been murder to waitress in, but they would look fuck-hot with my trashy outfits. Sighing, I tore my eyes away from my foot wear wet dream and noticed Rosalie staring at me, her bags in hand.

"If you like 'em, why don't you get 'em, Bella?" she asked. "You know Jasper can cover it, so why not?"

She seemed honestly curious rather than just bitchy, so I forced myself to swallow my resentment at her prying into my finances and answered politely.

"I don't let him buy me clothes, Rosalie. He's already feeding me and providing shelter for me, not to mention subsidizing my rent at the apartment I'm no longer living at. I can't in good conscience use his money to buy clothes I don't really need. Besides, I don't live the life that goes with these boots. They would just sit in a closet after tonight."

She stared at me a minute longer before giving me another cryptic nod and leaving the store. I followed her out of the mall and to the car. We rode in silence all the way until we approached Manhattan, when she finally spoke.

"I can't figure you out, Bella Swan. I don't think we have a single thing in common, but I think I'm starting to respect you for some reason," she said in a surprised tone. "Spending time with you hasn't been the mind- numbing bore I expected."

"Gee, Rosalie, I feel all warm and fuzzy! Want to paint each other's toe nails now?" I snarked at her. Rolling my eyes, I allowed a small smile to flit across my face, knowing she would see it. "Seriously, I'm not gonna start shit with you, but I'm not gonna take shit either. Cool?"

"Cool for now, Bella," she replied as we pulled into the parking garage. She led the way back into the building, not even slowing down past the security desk. I waved at the familiar attendant as I walked past, shrugging apologetically as he drooled after Rosalie's retreating ass.

We rode the elevator up and she stuck her hand out abruptly, apparently demanding the key to the apartment. Ignoring her rudeness, I walked past her, dug the key out of my pocket and opened the door myself.

Walking into the room, I saw Jasper standing up from his desk to come and greet me. His eyes were the color of buttery caramel after his hunt, and I lost myself admiring his lean face as he closed the distance between us. Within a heartbeat, I was wrapped in his hard arms as he leaned his tall frame over me. I closed my eyes and relaxed as our peace fell over us. Rubbing my face against his soft shirt, I realized he was rubbing his nose across the top of my head.

"Dude, are you guys smelling each other, or what?" boomed Emmett's voice, breaking our interlude.

"Yes," we both answered at the same time, smiling at each other as we stepped apart. I noticed that Jasper's smiles weren't entirely reaching his eyes, so I reached out for his hand, wanting our peace again. "What is it?" I asked softly. "What are you worrying about?"

Pulling me over to the couch, he filled me in on Jenks' report and the plans to continue the surveillance. My stomach sank at the news of how much trouble Andy was really in. "How can we possibly help him?" I whispered.

Jasper wrapped me back into his arms. "We get as much information as we can, and then we figure it out," he answered simply, filling me with hope even though his answer was vague.

"How was your trip?" he murmured into my ear as he held me.

"Slightly informative and refreshingly short," I answered with a smile. "She managed not to kill me and I managed not to push her to it," I teased, knowing she and Emmett were listening.

"I knew you could do it Rosie! I'm so proud of you!" Emmett enthused teasingly.

"Shut up, the day's not over yet," she answered without looking up from her magazine.

I felt Jasper sigh and turned to look at him. He was leaning back against the couch, his eyes closed and a sweet little smile crossing his lips. I couldn't stop my hand from reaching up to run along his flawless cheek.

"What's making you so happy?" I asked, burning with curiosity.

"Their love is always nice to feel," he admitted quietly without opening his eyes. "It's just simple and straightforward, and so strong," he sighed.

"Jasper, you're totally getting stoned off of Rosalie and Emmett, aren't you?" I accused, sitting up straighter in his lap. He didn't answer, but made an adorable little giggle/snort sound. "You are! You're totally high right now! This is so cute!" I giggled, leaning in to kiss his smiling lips.

"Don't kill my buzz, Bella," he teased against my lips.

"Never," I whispered as I snuggled back against him.

"Well if she won't kill it, I will, Jasper," Rosalie said brusquely from her perch on the opposite couch. "I hate to pull you two love birds apart, but Bella needs to eat, I need to go hunt and then it's time for us to get ready for tonight," she ordered as she stood up.

"Yes, ma'am," Jasper drawled as he tossed me into standing. "Can I join you for lunch, Miss? I missed you at breakfast," he said smoothly winking at me.

"It would be my pleasure, Sir," I replied as he draped his arm over my shoulder and walked us toward the door. I slipped on my coat and smiled as I felt him slip a hand into the back pocket of my jeans as we walked out.

We made the quick walk to the pizza parlor and I filled him in on the morning as I ate.

"I'm proud of you Bella, you're handling her really well," Jasper said softly as we walked back to his building. "I know she's not an easy person to like, but she has her reasons, and she's a good friend to me."

Shrugging slightly, I nodded at him. "I always figured there was more to her than Edward said," I commented nonchalantly.

He stopped short as we walked into the lobby of the building. "How do you mean?" he asked intently.

"Well, Edward always told me her thoughts were all about herself and her looks and nothing else. But I figure that can't be all she really thinks about because Emmett totally adores her, and he's not an idiot," I explained. "So my theory is that she just thinks that shit around Edward to keep him out of her head. I know I'd do my damndest to keep some sort of privacy."

He leaned down and brushed my lips with his. "You're a smart woman, Bella Swan," he whispered in my ear as we started walking toward the elevator.

"Don't get me wrong, Jasper," I teased as we rode up. "I'm not promising to be besties with her or anything, but I can share airspace with her for short visits."

We entered the apartment, greeting Emmett who was playing XBOX. "Rose isn't back yet," he said absently. "She left instructions for you though, Bella. Something about getting you presentable to go out in public," he said apologetically as he handed me a sheet of paper filled with elegant script.

"Bitch," I sighed without heat. Scanning the instructions, I realized it was mostly stuff I would have done on my own. Standing up on my tiptoes, I pressed a kiss to the bottom of Jasper's chin. "This is going to take awhile, I'd better get started before the fashion Nazi gets back."

"Come here, you," he growled as he picked me up and pulled me against him for a long kiss before setting me down and smacking me on the ass. "Now, get to work," he ordered with a smile.

I hit the shower and spent the next two hours shaving, tweezing and blow drying. For the most part, I followed Rosalie's orders, but I modified several details to suit my outfit as I prepped. Rather than teasing my hair out as Rosalie had directed, I twisted tight, tiny braids up each side toward the middle of my head, creating a sort of Mohawk effect. I piled on the standard heavy eye make-up, finishing with a hot red lipstick.

Wrapping a towel around myself, I exited the bathroom into the bedroom to start putting together my outfit, unaware that I wasn't alone. I walked toward the large walk in closet and started sorting through the hangers as I looked for the leather and vinyl "work clothes" I kept toward the back. Humming absently to myself, I reached into my lingerie drawer and pulled out what I needed to complete the outfit. I reached a hand up to drop the towel and get dressed when Rosalie's dry voice caused me to jump.

"Whoa there, Bella. Apparently you're hot shit now, but I don't need to see your junk up close and personal," she said from the bed where she was perusing yet another magazine.

"No worries, Rosalie. No free shows here, and I get paid up front," I deadpanned as I made my way back to the bathroom to dress. She merely snorted in reply.

I took my time assembling the outfit, grinning at myself once I finished and took a look in the mirror. I hadn't worn this in a long time, as it had proven too prone to gather unwanted attention at work. Jasper's reaction was sure to be interesting, and I was excited to show him.

I opened the door and stepped back out into the bedroom, taking in the sight of Rose finishing her own preparations. She was strikingly beautiful as always, her blonde tresses curled into tight spirals, perfectly highlighting her cherry red leather tank dress against her ivory skin. The short skirt was complemented by matching red above-the-knee boots with four inch heels.

"Not bad, Hale. I wasn't sure you could pull off anything less than couture, but you did fine," I said wryly.

She raised an eyebrow at me as she gazed back at me through the mirror she was standing in front of. "I have to say, I'm impressed with you too, Bella," she admitted grudgingly as she took me in. "I planned on devoting major effort on you tonight, but you'll do as you are. Assuming Jasper lets you out the door that way, anyway."

"I'm afraid the last person I awarded wardrobe veto privileges to was Alice, Rosalie, so he'll have to live with it, I'm afraid," I said in a brisk tone as I opened to door to the living room. The guys were seated on the sofa playing XBOX again. They were both dressed in black T-shirts with black jeans and shoes. Jasper's hair almost glowed against the dark fabric of his shirt as he whipped his head toward me.

Jasper was silent as he evaluated my appearance, but Emmett let out a low whistle. "Lookin' good, Bella Baby," he said softly. I made no reply, caught up in watching Jasper stand and stalk slowly toward me, his eyes dark and his expression unreadable. He drew his eyes over me from head to toe, taking in my faux-hawk before lingering on how my tits were almost popping out of the white, lace-up corset top I was wearing. My black leather mini skirt fell to mid thigh length, where it was set off by a pair of white fishnet garter stockings that disappeared into my trusty lug sole knee boots.

I kept my expression stern, matching his. "See something interesting, Mr. Whitlock?" I asked in a low voice.

"Several things, as a matter of fact, Miss Swan," he replied in his silken whisper. He began to lean down to me, when Rosalie's acidic voice cut in.

"Well, what's the verdict, Jasper? Is little Bella allowed out to play?" she asked in a sing-song tone.

A flash of annoyance crossed his features before he raised his head to smile at her. "Pretty sure it's not my call, Rose," he replied smoothly. "But if she decides to go play, I'll be there to supervise the playground," he smirked.

I pulled him back down for a quick kiss before letting him go. "Let's go, vampires," I ordered as I headed for the door. They were all behind me in a flash and we headed out. We drove to the club in separate cars, as Emmett had informed Jasper that he and Rosalie would be checking into a hotel for the night. Jasper managed to keep a neutral face while he told me, but my own grin was a mile wide.

The club was already busy when we entered, despite the relatively early hour. Emmett tried to tempt me with a variety of alcoholic beverages, but I wasn't about to get trashed for the first time in front of Rosalie, so I told him I would stick to water tonight. He pouted, but Jasper looked almost relieved at my decision.

The club was full of the typical rave crowd jumping up and down to typical rave music. Not my favorite dance tunes, but I wasn't about to be picky about my first evening out in forever. I pulled Jasper out onto the crowded dance floor and we joined the mass of bodies bouncing in time with the trippy dance music.

I looked up over my shoulder at him and he rolled his eyes at me in amusement. "Don't blame me!" I yelled over the music. "It was Rosalie's idea to come here!" I felt his answering laugh against my back and started shaking my ass up against him. His laugh turned into a growl as he pulled me up closer against him. Licking my lips, I turned around to face him, continuing to grind into his hard dick as I moved.

He lifted me effortlessly up and I wrapped my legs around his waist as our lips met for a wet kiss. I noticed he was continuing to move us in rhythm to the music as he slipped his tongue into my mouth. The cool sensation sent quivers down to my belly and I reached both hands up to pull on his hair as I let my legs slide back down to stand again.

"Christ, Bella," he groaned out as he broke away from my mouth.

"Huh?" I answered brilliantly, confused at his reaction. I followed his gaze below my face, smirking when I saw the problem. My hands were still reaching up to his hair, squeezing my breasts out of the straining fabric close to the point of indecency. "You like, Jasper?" I teased breathily.

"When I get you alone tonight, I will demonstrate how much I like, Bella," he promised, his eyes burning into mine.

"Get a room, for fuck's sake," Rosalie shouted at us from a few feet away.

"Whatever, Rosalie," I answered hotly. "Half the people in here are doing worse. In fact, I'm pretty sure that chick is going down on that guy on the dance floor."

"Where?" Emmett demanded intently, dragging Rosalie off to investigate.

"Good work, Swan," Jasper complemented me as we began grinding on each other again.

"Thanks, I'm very results oriented," I purred back at him.

We made it two more hours at the club before the combination of weird music and public fondling became enough. We said 'good night' to Emmett and Rosalie, making plans to see each other in the morning before they returned home.

Jasper was silent on the ride home, making no move to touch me, and I began to worry that the intense mood had been ruined. My fears disappeared when he picked me up and wrapped my legs around him as soon as we walked in the door, slamming it behind him with his foot.

Moaning, I kissed my way up his neck and met his mouth with mine. We were in the bedroom and on the bed in a flash, his lean body pressing into mine against the stacked pillows. Without breaking the kiss, he had my boots of in a second, skimming his hand along the rough fishnet stockings.

I pulled on his shirt and he allowed me to tug it over his head. I ran my hands over his defined arms and torso, moaning as he moved his mouth down my neck. He began licking at my collar bone, moving lower and lower to the swell of my breasts above the corset. I shivered in pleasure as he traced a cool fingertip just over the top of the fabric when I felt a strong tug as he jerked the laces apart. Suddenly freed from the corset, my breasts fell into his hands as he started caressing them gently.

Just as I was becoming frustrated by the soft contact, he reached my nipples, pinching and twisting with the perfect pressure. There was nothing I could do to stop myself from grinding my core into his thigh. "Jasper," I moaned helplessly, needing more and desperate not to back off tonight. "Please," I gasped as he moved his mouth to suck on one nipple.

He made no reply, but moved his hand slowly down my back and over my ass. His hand crept underneath my skirt and I gasped at the sensation of the cool temperature through my lacy boy shorts.

He shifted his weight to the side and released my nipple from his mouth as he dragged his hand over my hip, playing with the edge of my panties. My thighs fell open of their own accord, and I allowed my upper body to fall back against the pillows. His fingertips crept slowly over the damp fabric covering me, moving closer and closer to my center. "Please," I whispered again, my eyes closing tight.

Finally, I felt his finger pressing into me just where I needed it. He pushed firmly down onto my clit before circling slowly around it over the soft lace. I pressed myself urgently into his hand, my body automatically guiding him. "Look at me, Bella," he said in a low voice.

I forced my eyes open to meet his and then looked down to see his finger stroking me over top of my lingerie. Over and over, he stroked my throbbing clit, changing the pressure randomly. My moans were echoing through the room and I helplessly rubbed myself against his fingertip. I felt my muscles begin to tighten and tingles began to run between my legs. His eyes darkened to ebony and he brought his free hand to my breast and firmly pinched the nipple. I screamed his name as my orgasm rippled through me, rocking my clit against his finger to prolong the waves of pleasure I was experiencing.

He leaned down to press a soft kiss against my lips as I came down from my high, and I moaned his name against his lips.

"That was beyond anything, Jasper," I panted heavily as I ran my fingers through his hair. "I mean, I've done it to myself, but that was a million times better. I had no idea it could be that way."

His eyes were still dark with desire, but a soft smile graced his lips. "You're beautiful when you come, Bella," he said slowly as he shifted his body slightly away from mine.

I felt an immediate wave of guilt. "What about you?" I asked quickly. "Can I make you feel good too?" I suggested eagerly as I sat up.

He shook his head at me as his smile widened. "Not a good idea tonight, Sweets. I need to get used to touching you like that before I know I can control myself when you reciprocate."

I growled at his declaration and he laughed out loud. "Now don't get impatient, Sugar," he drawled in a heavy accent. "That just means we have to practice a little more."

He dropped the accent and grew more serious as he spoke again. "So Bella, I'm not trying to push you for information, but as we keep making progress, I feel like I need to know what else you've done before," he finished in a hesitant tone.

I rushed to answer, eager to reassure him that I wasn't upset at the question. "It's fine, Jasper, it's fine. The simple answer is I've had sex exactly once. There was no foreplay, it was just a quick fuck."

His eyes tightened in anger, and again I rushed to reassure him. "It wasn't violent, and I'm glad he didn't touch me or anything. I didn't want his hands on me, it would have been unbearable," I admitted. "Everything you're doing is all brand new to me, and I'm loving every second of it," I breathed out. "Don't start trying to back off just because I screwed a loser over six months ago!"

His eyes relaxed and he pulled me into his lap as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Relax, Bella. I'm not gonna back off, I just wanted to know if anything would bring back bad memories, that's all. Now you need to start getting ready for bed, it's late and you need to sleep some before we meet Rose and Emmett."

I groaned as I realized that undoing my appearance would take almost as long as creating it had. I threw on his T-shirt as I headed to the bathroom to wash off the heavy makeup. He was kind enough to help me unbraid my hair, so I was tucked up against him in bed before I knew it.

"I love you," I whispered with my eyes closed, rubbing my face against his chest.

"I love you too, Bella," he murmured into my hair. I smiled at the words and fell quickly into a relaxed sleep.

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**AN-**

**Okay, don't hold back now! How much do you love me, huh? I was so jazzed about all the reviews from last chapter that I busted ass! Now, in all honesty, let me know about the chapter length. I could have divided it into two shorties, but I was lazy! So, let me know if this was too much, and next time I won't be lazy **** I hope the lemon zest was enjoyable, we're getting closer!**

**Mynxi, my sweet Mistress Mynxi, there are no words for how much I love you. You are my serenity!**

**Love to my regular review crew, you guys are the reason for the early post! **

**I found a fic I'm totally in love with called The Handcuff Bracelet by Lykosdracos. It's AH Edward/Bella, set in highschool. Tough guy Edward and a REALLY unique tough girl Bella. Check it out and leaver her some love!**

**And finally, A Moment is now up at The Writer's Coffee Shop Library in case of any interference at . **

**Love to you all!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer, but Jasper, this is your official invite to come and be mine. She doesn't love you like I love you, baby.**

**Thank you as always to my beta, Mynxi. She has taught me so much and made me so much better at this. I'm truly grateful.**

Chapter Twelve

**JPOV**

Lying propped up on the pillows, I watched Bella sleep. Completely relaxed, her face was soft and peaceful, free from the signs of the tension that so frequently plagued her when she was awake. It was all I could do to stop my cold fingers from tracing her heart shaped face while she slept, but I feared my touch would wake her.

Sighing quietly, I rolled onto my back and looked at the ceiling, recalling the expression on her face as she came for the first time on my fingertips. She was always beautiful, but the look of her being carried away by passion was breathtaking, even to a non-breathing vampire. Unfortunately, my dick seemed to agree, and I got hard at the mental image. The memory of her asking to make me feel good did nothing to ease my situation.

It was a bridge that we would soon have to cross if we were to continue the natural progression of our physical relationship. I wanted to move on to the next level of intimacy, and I knew Bella wouldn't accept a one sided life of pleasure. That was far from my desire as well, so it was time to test the waters some more. So far, I hadn't had any difficulty controlling my movements as I pleasured her, but bringing my own needs into the mix would be more challenging.

Mentally reciting the periodic table to will away my hard on, I relaxed as I realized we would just have to continue one step at a time, together, just as we had been doing all along. Bella was a partner to me in every sense of the word, and I knew that she would make sure that our physical journey was a joint effort.

_What a difference_, I thought to myself, remembering my relationship with Alice. I had been so relieved at the different life she offered that I was willing to follow her blindly after we met. She had immediately taken charge of all the large decisions, but slowly, she had begun to run all aspects of our life together, down to my wardrobe. I would be forever grateful to her for leading me to my current lifestyle and for showing me that a loving relationship was possible for me, but our life together had been far from perfect. In the few short months Bella and I had spent together, we had already developed into a much more balanced and healthy relationship than I had ever dreamed of with Alice.

The gradual brightening of the room caught my attention, and I gently shifted myself out of the bed. Hopefully, Bella would be able to sleep for a few more hours, but I needed to check my e mail and text Emmett to find out when he and Rose would be over.

I slipped on a comfy long sleeved T-shirt and walked out to my desk. I logged on to my email and read Jenks' prompt progress report. He had a surveillance team picked out and would be assembling them for briefing today. They were all specialists in covert surveillance and high tech camouflage with military backgrounds. They were aware of the dangerous nature of the assignment and were prepared to accept it.

He also mentioned that his man in the Forks PD was confident that he could secure Bella's possessions by the end of this week. He would forward the boxes to Jenks who would await my instructions. I smiled at the thought of being able to provide Bella with a physical link to her family.

I emailed him a message of acknowledgement and shifted back in my chair. I desperately wanted Bella far away from these K2 people, but I knew it was useless to try to persuade her to abandon Andy. The thought of taking her away wouldn't leave my mind, and I started searching the internet for nearby getaways. She didn't have to work until Monday, so a long weekend would be perfect. I grinned in satisfaction as I found the perfect place and clicked to make the arrangements.

Bella would probably find it over the top, but it would be a welcome break from her daily life, as well as a beautiful environment to continue our physical exploration of each other. I broke off from that train of thought as I heard footsteps approaching the door to the apartment.

Using vampire speed, I opened the door quickly for Emmett and Rosalie, hoping to avoid waking Bella. Emmett strutted in radiating self satisfaction and gave me a fist bump.

"Hope your night was as good as mine, man," he bragged as he walked in and had a seat on the couch.

I couldn't stop the answering smile that crossed my lips. "Quiet man, she's still sleeping in there," I began before I was cut off by Rosalie.

"Emmett, stop being a pig. You guys can fuck and tell another time. I, for one, have zero desire to hear about any of Jasper's night. I saw enough of that shit first hand at the club, I don't need to imagine anything else," she snapped as she strolled in and gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

I pulled her in for a quick hug as I felt uncertainty and sadness from her. "What's on your mind, Rosie?" I asked gently.

"Just dreading going back to deal with Alice and Edward," she admitted sadly. "I have no idea when we'll see either of them, but it just kind of hangs over me, especially with the 'you and Bella' development. I don't think they'll take the news well, and I don't look forward to being the one to tell them, Jasper."

"I can understand why you feel that way, Rose, but with Edward's ability and Alice's visions, you may not need to say anything at all. For all we know, they already know," Emmett said reassuringly, as I picked up a wave of affection and protectiveness for Rosalie from him.

"I'm sorry, Emmett, Rosalie. I'm sorry I'm putting you in that position." Bella's sleepy voice broke into the room. Taking in her tired appearance, I gave her a quick kiss as I passed her on my way to the kitchen to start her coffee brewing.

When I returned to the living area, she was curled up on the smaller couch, tucking her feet underneath her. She was wearing one of my t-shirts and a pair of old yoga pants and she looked perfectly adorable to my eyes. Sitting next to her, I reached out my hand for hers, enjoying our peace for a moment as her hand met mine before she spoke again.

"I never wanted to have to deal with this," Bella began again. "I don't want to cause either Edward or Alice more pain, and I would honestly be happy never crossing paths with them again. You guys make it more complicated," she said apologetically. "Now you know I'm here and with Jasper, and as soon as Edward is in the same room with you, he'll know, assuming Alice hasn't filled him in already."

"Alice isn't always coherent anymore," Emmett interjected sadly.

I felt an intense flash of pain from Bella before she shut it down, so I tugged her gently into my lap, hoping to comfort her. She leaned into me, but I could tell she was becoming anxious as her heart rate picked up.

"Easy, Sweetheart," I soothed her. "You don't have to see anyone you don't want to. Say the word and I'll take you far away from here. Now calm down so you can drink a cup of coffee without getting all wired," I teased her softly.

She looked up at me and let her guard down enough for me to feel her love and appreciation before her emotional walls went back up.

"We'll have to tell Carlisle when we get back, and he'll tell Esme," Emmett blurted out.

"I know, Emmett. Don't worry, I won't ask you to lie for me," Bella said softly. "All I can ask is that you warn me if you know Edward is coming here."

"I promise, Bells," he replied sincerely, earning a grunt from Rosalie.

"What happened to 'bros before hos'?" she snapped angrily.

"Rosalie," I said warningly before Emmett interrupted.

"Over the line, Rosie," he chided gently but firmly. "I love Edward, he's my brother. But he dug this hole, and he'll have to live with what's at the bottom," he said simply, squeezing her hand between his huge one. She made no reply, but leaned against him heavily, a rare show of need from Rosalie Hale.

Emmett shifted the conversation to the NCAA basketball tournament, and he and I kept topics light after that. Bella said little as she sipped her coffee, and Rose returned to her ever present magazine. Within an hour, they were saying 'goodbye' as they got ready to head back to Syracuse, promising again to keep us informed about Edward and Alice. Bella was polite to Rosalie, but surprised Emmett by giving him a warm hug as they prepared to leave. His smile was priceless as he picked her up off the ground to squeeze her.

After they left, I filled her in on Jenks' team, sighing as I felt her anxiety surface again.

"Jasper, I want to go see Andy," she said earnestly, her eyes wide and pleading. "I have a couple of things in the apartment that I should pick up anyway," she added. "You can come too, it'll be perfectly safe. I just really need to talk to him now that I know who he's dealing with."

Walking over to her with a refilled cup of coffee, I forced myself to remain calm. The idea of her anywhere near Andy's new friends made me want to drag her in the opposite direction. However, I appreciated that she was keeping her safety in mind.

"This is something you really need to do?" I asked, as I leaned over the back of the sofa to hand the coffee to her.

"Yes, Jasper. I really need to know that I'm doing everything in my power to help him," she answered as she turned toward me to take the cup.

"Okay, then. Why don't you go do your morning thing and we'll get this over with," I said tersely. I hated being short with her, but the stress of putting her in harm's way made me edgy.

She sighed and placed her cup on the coffee table, and I mentally chided myself for pissing her off. I was shocked when she sat up on her knees and faced me over the couch. Her eyes were luminous as she used both hands to tug my face down toward hers. She pressed her lips against mine in a chaste but fervent kiss.

"I love you, Jasper Whitlock. You are a good man," she breathed against my lips before standing up and walking into the bedroom to get ready. I watched her go in silence, wryly admitting to myself how effectively she had shut down my anxiety driven anger.

Two hours later, we were walking into her previous home. As we approached the door, I registered only one heartbeat from the other side. She knocked loudly before using her key, and I couldn't stop the feeling of triumph at the acknowledgement that her home was now with me.

There was no answer to her knock so she opened the door. I gently pushed myself in front of her to enter first. The place was a wreck again, a far cry from the neat but threadbare condition it had been in when I first followed her home. Andy's bleary, reddened eyes met mine as I walked in. He dragged himself into a sitting position on the couch and gave me a small nod, at odds with the smirk on his face.

"Slumming this morning, Izzy?" he slurred at Bella as she walked in behind me. "Glad you brought the bodyguard with you this time, it's not safe for you here," he warned as he glared at her.

She met his gaze without flinching at his words. "I need to pick up the last of my shit, assuming your ass-hole friends haven't trashed it," she said brusquely. "That, and I wanted to talk to you." She walked over to the coffee table and sat on it to face him.

"Bella, I'm gonna go pack up your stuff and give you guys a minute. I'll be in your room," I said softly as I walked down the hallway. I felt slightly guilty at the false illusion of privacy Andy would have, but I had no intention of even trying not to listen.

She jumped right in to her intervention, pleading with him to leave with us today. I was unsurprised by his response.

"Izzy, go try to save someone worth saving," he said, his frustration and pain clear to me even from Bella's room. "You've done what you can for me, now get your stuff and go home with him. Don't come back; let him take care of you. You've got a good thing now, it's time for you to move on, Izz. I'm glad I could help you out when you needed it, but I'm not that guy anymore. I meant what I said, it's not safe for you here, and I have no power to protect you," he said earnestly. "I'm begging you, Bella, walk out the door and don't come back."

I could smell her tears as she answered. "You are worth saving, Andy," she said quietly. "I know you're hurting and that you're alone, but that doesn't make you worthless. The guy who saved me is still sitting right in front of me. What are they making you do? What are they holding over you?" she asked quickly.

I heard the footsteps approaching the door and I was down the hallway in a flash, slowing to a human pace only once I reached Andy's line of sight. As the apartment door opened, I reached Bella, standing behind her, shielding her from whoever was entering.

"Well, well, hope I'm not intruding on your little reunion," Alex's cool voice cut into the room. He strutted confidently into the room and moved to stand behind Andy's couch. He reached down and pulled Andy's face harshly up toward his own, giving him a violent kiss before abruptly releasing him.

"You must be Jasper, the hero of the day," he said, returning his attention to me. Remaining silent, I nodded grimly at him, my eyes flashing a warning at him as he began evaluating Bella.

"And beautiful Izzy, we meet again," he said smoothly. "You made quite an impression on several of my guys that evening at the club. They look forward to seeing more of you," he threatened, a sick grin crossing his face.

_Bad, bad, bad_, I said to myself. She had attracted even more attention than I had feared, and I needed to get her out of here fast.

"Not gonna happen," I said evenly as I gently pulled her to stand. I looked at Andy, noting his blank expression. His emotions were a manic mix of panic, pain and fear. "The offer stands man," I said to him. "You can walk out the door with us right now. I hope for her sake you do, because you can be sure she won't be coming here again," I said flatly as Bella and I walked toward the exit.

Bella moved compliantly with me, but I could feel flashes of her desperation threatening to break through. She turned to look back as we reached the door.

"Please, Andy," she begged one last time.

He shook his head negatively and I tugged her through the door.

"Until we meet again, little Isabel," Alex sang out as I allowed the door to slam behind us.

Bella sagged against me a little as we headed toward the stairs, so I scooped her up into my arms. Her breaths were tight and rapid, and her hands clutched my jacket. Making soothing sounds, I walked out to the street, relieved when I saw my car was waiting where I parked it. I made short work of getting us buckled in and started the engine, eager to get the hell out of there.

We rode home without speaking, her hand clutching mine tightly over the gearshift as I drove. Her panic gradually subsided, but I felt despair begin to wash over her as we approached my building. Parking quickly, I helped her out of the car, my dead heart contracting painfully at the despondent look on her face. Bella leaned on me heavily as we made our way into the apartment, clearly struggling not to fall apart.

As soon as we crossed the threshold, she let go, her legs buckling as she sagged in my arms. I gently lowered us to the floor and moved her into my lap, rocking her as she sobbed quietly.

"It's too late, isn't it, Jasper?" she moaned into my shirt. "He's doing what I had to do, fucking for money. Only I can't help him, he won't let me."

"You don't know that, Sweetheart. Don't give up yet. We have the right people working on it, we'll see what we find out," I said in a soothing tone, hoping I was right. I wanted to calm her, but I didn't want to offer false hope either.

She began to calm quickly, wiping her tears on her sleeve. "I'm sorry, that's the last thing you need to deal with," she said as she sniffed noisily.

"I like dealing with everything about you," I teased softly as I stood us up and carried her to the couch. Leaving her on my lap, I turned her to face me and began pressing soft kisses along her neck, tasting the salt of her tears with each kiss. She sighed heavily and I immediately stopped kissing her. I was relieved to see a trace of humor cross her face as I faked a pout at her.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. It's not that I don't appreciate your blatant attempt to distract me from the fuckfest that is Andy's life by making out with me, I just find it hard to get in the mood when I'm snotty," she said sheepishly, wiping her puffy eyes again.

"Why don't you take a bath, Sweetheart?" I suggested. "I don't think that tub's ever been used."

Her face lit up at my words. "That sounds perfect, Jasper. I won't be long, just enough to stop feeling like a used tissue."

"You look nothing like a used tissue, Baby," I told her gently. "Now go soak your troubles away in some bubbles."

She rolled her eyes at my lame joke and walked into the bedroom. After a few moments, I heard the water turn on in the bathroom as she filled the tub. I groaned at the mental image of her stepping into the tub, my dick hardening with the thought. I tried every mental trick I had used in my long vampire existence to distract myself, but every time I heard the water splash, I visualized her naked in the bath.

I forced myself to remain seated where I was until I heard the tub begin to drain. Even then, I tried to stop my feet from walking toward the bedroom, but they weren't listening. I tried to remind myself that she was still hurting for her friend, and that she may feel strongly about privacy after bathing, but this too was ineffective at slowing my progress toward the bathroom.

As I entered the bedroom, I realized that she had left the bathroom door slightly ajar, an indication to my throbbing dick that she wasn't opposed to company. I slowly pushed the door open further, gaping at the sight before me.

Bella's hair was in a loose knot on top of her head, damp strands hanging down her neck. She was stepping out of the tub, water still running down her long legs. My vampire brain registered these details, although my eyes were fixed on another area of her body.

"Bella Swan," I groaned out as my feet moved forward involuntarily.

She looked up quickly at me, but displayed no other sign of being startled. She followed my gaze and began to blush slightly.

"What can I tell you, Jasper? I worked a strip club for awhile, and once you go bare, you don't go back," she said in a sultry voice as she moved the towel down her torso approaching the lips of her completely bare pussy.

Using vampire speed, I was kneeling in front of her and holding the towel before she could blink, my eyes still locked on her glistening folds.

"Allow me," I whispered, looking up at her dark eyes. She merely nodded as I took the towel from her and gently moved the soft material over her flat stomach and down her thighs, just avoiding where I most wanted to touch. I moved the towel back up her legs and over her back, bringing it over her shoulders and down to her breasts, pressing slightly harder as I passed over her peaked nipples.

She moaned at the contact and I noticed her pussy was growing wetter as I dried the rest of her body.

"Jasper," she whispered, looking down at me, desire written across every feature in her face. I scooped her up into my arms and in a second she was lying in front of me on the bed, fully exposed to me for the first time.

"So beautiful," I said earnestly as I gazed at her. "I can't wait to touch you, Sweets."

"Then DO it, Jasper," she said stridently, sitting up to grab my hand.

"Easy, Sweetheart," I said softly as I began to palm her breasts. "I'll get there, I promise. I just want to get re-acclimated first." I pressed my lips against her hot skin, kissing along the rise of her left breast on the way to her nipple. Her heart raced in response as she tipped her head back and used her hands to press my mouth closer to her.

I tongued her nipple gently before I sucked. Encouraged by her moan, I rolled my lips over my teeth to "bite" her without breaking skin. Her hands tightened in my hair and she moaned my name. I continued the same treatment on the other breast as I slid my hand down her torso, finally reaching her wet pussy.

She moaned my name again and opened her legs further as she pushed herself up toward my hand. Wanting to savor this moment, I moved my finger slowly down into her moisture, groaning at the sensation of heat as I touched her silken folds. She gasped as I dipped my finger into her entrance, groaning out loud as her juices coated my finger.

She repeated my name, tossing her head back and forth as I moved my finger back toward her clit, circling the sensitive bud several times before pressing it firmly. She bucked her hips into my fingertip, moaning wordlessly. Concentrating intently on controlling my fingers perfectly, I pinched her bundle of nerves ever so gently as I moved my other hand to penetrate her with one finger.

The soft heat surrounding my finger was unlike anything I had experienced before. Her hips thrust up to meet my finger as I carefully thrust it in and out of her tight opening. I looked up at her beautiful face as she tossed her head on the pillow in abandon at the feeling of my finger fucking her.

She was extremely tight, but very wet so I cautiously added another finger, grinning as her moans began to run together into a sort of keening scream. I could feel her internal muscles starting to flutter around my fingertips and knew she was close.

"Look at me, Baby," I crooned gently. "I want to see your eyes when you come on my fingers, Bella."

Her eyes shot open at my words and she raised herself up onto her elbows, driving my fingers slightly deeper into her. The movement shot her over the edge, and her soft walls clamped around me as she moved her hips to prolong the sensation of her orgasm. She kept her eyes open and locked on mine as she chanted my name over and over before she finally fell back onto the pillows behind her.

"So good," she moaned as she watched me withdraw my fingers from her body and lick them clean of her juices.

"So good," I said softly as I savored her taste.

She sat up and crawled down the bed toward me, grabbing my hair tightly with both hands and kissing me deeply, moaning as she tasted herself on my tongue.

"So good," she repeated as she broke the kiss and smiled. Her gaze ran down my fully clothed body, lingering on my extremely visible hard on, and she began to frown.

"Definitely your turn now, Jasper," she said firmly. I began to shake my head and she cut my protest off. "I don't want to hear it. We'll never get anywhere if we don't start somewhere, and we're going to start with me touching your dick, right here, right now," she ordered tartly. "Now take your shirt off."

"Bella, disobeying that order may be one of the hardest things I've ever forced myself to do, including eating animals," I said lightly. Her eyes flashed in anger, so I rushed to explain myself. "You're right, it's time to start seeing how I do when you touch me, and believe me I am eager for the experience. However, there are two good reasons that right now is not the time."

Her expression was murderous and she raised an eyebrow. "Please, Jasper, enlighten me as to the reason for the delay," she muttered darkly.

"Reason one… I haven't hunted since yesterday, and I don't want to take even the slightest chance that my lust might get channeled into bloodlust," I admitted frankly. She rolled her eyes at my words and roughly pushed back onto the pillows, crossing her arms beneath her naked breasts.

"I'm serious, Bella. Just because it hasn't been a problem yet doesn't mean it won't happen. Risking you is not something I can live with, end of story." I was relieved to see her expression soften slightly, indicating she was beginning to accept my reasoning.

"Now, do you want to hear the second reason, or should I just let you sit there naked and pout at me?" I teased. She couldn't stop her grin, so she bit her lip and looked up at me, fluttering her eyelashes flirtatiously.

"Reason number two is that we don't have time right now, because we need to pack," I announced as I stood up and walked to my closet.

"Pack for what?" she asked, jumping up to follow me.

"I'm taking you away for a long weekend, Sweetheart. You start work next week, so I want to enjoy my last uninterrupted days with you in seclusion."

I was relieved when she seemed excited about the idea rather than protesting the expense. "Where are we going, what should I bring?" she rattled off quickly.

"I rented us a house on a lake upstate. Just pack casual and comfortable, it's pretty isolated. And, significant to your previous complaint, I can hunt practically outside our door, so I'll be at your disposal this evening," I drawled, flashing a grin at her as I turned to lift a suitcase down from the closet shelf.

I felt the heat of her body as she pressed up against me to hug me from behind. "Thank you, Jasper, it sounds great," she breathed into my back.

Groaning as my dick stood at attention again, I reached one hand behind me to slap her ass cheek lightly. "Not helping me out, Bella," I chided as she squealed and hopped down. "Now get dressed unless you want me to change my mind and spend the next hour in a cold shower thanks to you!"

She blew me a kiss and scampered out of the closet to start sorting her stuff out. I was relieved that between getting her off and taking her away for the weekend, I had been able to get her mind off of Andy for awhile.

**BPOV**

We were in Jasper's fuckawsome Porsche SUV, literally flying up I 87 on our way to the Adirondacks. The sun was peeking in and out of the clouds, occasionally causing Jasper's white skin to glitter.

"Shouldn't you be careful not to get a speeding ticket? What if the sun comes out while you're pulled over with the nice officer?" I asked half-seriously.

"Easy, Bella," he replied. "If I get pulled over, I'll just whammy the nice officer with a shot of friendliness and we'll get off with a quick warning."

"As long as you have a plan, Whitlock," I answered agreeably, leaning back into the plush leather seat and enjoying the ride.

Thanks to the Porsche's warp speed capability and good luck avoiding speed traps, we made good time to the mountains. The skies grew cloudier as we drove, and by the time we left the interstate and turned onto a much smaller road I noticed snowflakes in the air. The towns became smaller and smaller, until Jasper finally pulled into an outfitter shop in a quaint community called Newton Falls.

"Seriously, Newton Falls?" I asked, wondering if he would remember the annoying boy from Forks.

He grinned evilly at me before answering. "I'm sure there's no relation, Bella. Just in case though, you better stick close in the store. Don't want you picking up any more admirers while my back's turned," he teased as he turned the car off.

I followed him into the store, mentally praying that we wouldn't really need any of the outdoor gear I was surrounded by. Without paying attention, I had wandered away from Jasper, but thankfully I wasn't accosted by any pushy Newtonians. I made my way to the front of the store, dismayed when I saw Jasper standing with several large bags of purchased equipment.

He noticed my expression and laughed outright at me. "Trust me, Bella. It'll be fun," was all he would say when I pestered him for details of his plans for the weekend.

"We'll need to unload the Porsche and move our stuff into our ride for the next few days," he mentioned as he walked across the parking lot to a utilitarian Jeep.

"Jeez, where are we going, the Arctic?" I quipped.

"Not that far, but it's pretty rough riding to our place," he answered cheerfully. "We'll need to stop at the grocery store and load up for you. I don't think we'll want to drive back out once we get there."

We loaded our bags into the Jeep and made an efficient trip to the grocery store. It was refreshingly well equipped for such a small town, and I enjoyed picking out items to cook for myself during our stay. Before I knew it, we were back in the Jeep and trekking down a remote road leading into dense woodland. Eventually, even this road ended, tapering off into a snowy trail.

"Our place is the only one off of this trail," Jasper mentioned as he easily handled the Jeep over the rough terrain. After about an hour of four wheel driving, the trail evened out slightly. We came around a sharp bend, and I lost my breath as I took in the scene in front of us.

"Welcome to Lake Lila," Jasper said softly, stopping the truck so I could take it in. The lodge style home was huge, apparently built on three staggered levels, the back directly accessing the frozen lake. There was a beach area and a long dock for use during warmer weather. Along the shore, snowy pine trees drooped softly toward the frozen lake surface, creating a perfect winter landscape.

"It's beautiful, Jasper," I said reverently. "I've never seen anything like it." I was stuck with appreciation for the perfection in front of me. My life had been completely urban for the past two years, and this isolated location was soothing to my battered soul. "Let's go inside," I breathed out excitedly.

"Your wish is my command," Jasper teased sweetly as he put the Jeep back into gear. He pulled it into the garage and was at my car door before I had my seatbelt unbuckled. He held both my hands as I began to step down from the high seat. Noticing that the Jeep had even out my height disadvantage, I grabbed the opportunity to kiss him before I slid slowly down his body until my feet reached the ground, reveling in the sound of his groan as I stepped away from him.

"Thank you," I said sweetly as I tugged his hand to lead him into the house.

"Vixen," he muttered under his breath as he followed me, passing me the key as we walked.

I opened the door and stepped into the beautiful home. The garage opened into a mudroom which led into the well appointed kitchen. My fingers were itching to cook as I trailed my hand over the stainless steel appliances. The kitchen opened up into a great room, the requisite giant stone fireplace taking up an entire wall on one side. The exterior wall was all windows, overlooking the frozen lake. Jasper explained that from the great room you could either go downstairs toward a game room and hot tub, or upstairs to the bedrooms.

"Damn, I forgot to pack a bathing suit," I pouted at Jasper. "The hot tub sounds so nice, too," I said, exaggerating my regretful tone.

He completely saw through my tease and smirked at me from the window wall. "Fortunately, there's no dress code for the guests here. No suit will be required, Miss Swan," he said smoothly. As he spoke, he gave me a wink that made my girlie bits wake up and want to play. Obviously aware of my reaction, his smirk grew wider.

_Hmm, two can play this game,_ I thought to myself. Sighing dramatically, I bit my lower lip and looked up at him while batting my eyelashes. Concentrating intently, I forced myself to relax my usual tight hold on my emotions, hoping he was getting a good dose of my desire. Before I could draw my next breath, he was in front of me, pressing me up against the wall and demonstrating exactly how much of my desire he had experienced.

"Mmmmm," I sighed as I wrapped my legs tightly around his hips and threw myself into kissing the pants off of Jasper Whitlock. I tugged on his hair to move his head back so I could kiss down his neck. His rumbling growl gave me hope that I was succeeding in kissing his pants off, when suddenly he broke away to kiss me on the nose, gently setting me back onto the floor while holding me lightly in his arms.

"No fair," I moaned, pouting again. "I was kissing your pants off."

"Yes, you were," he agreed with a laugh, pulling me against him so he could lean his chin on the top of my head. "But I want to go hunt now so you can _really_ kiss my pants off later."

Suddenly a huge proponent of Jasper's delayed gratification plan, I jumped backwards and playfully swatted at him. "What are you waiting for, then? Get going, Whitlock!" I ordered cheerfully. I laughed outright when he mock saluted me and made for the door.

I turned to follow him after him to the garage, planning to start unloading the Jeep. Before I even made it to the door, I gasped as Jasper flashed back in at vampire speed, carrying our bags. He winked at me and zipped off again, returning in seconds with the grocery bags.

"So sweet," I whispered at him as he blew me a kiss and was gone in a flash. I smiled as I turned to get to work unloading groceries. Since I was still only cooking for myself, I had kept my grocery list basic. I made quick work in the kitchen and decided to brew some tea. I was usually a coffee girl, but the tranquility surrounding me put me in the mood for tea.

After enjoying the hot beverage, I decided to explore the upper level of the home. I grabbed two bags I could easily carry and made my way upstairs. I peeked in three lovely bedrooms as I walked down the hallway, but I was drawn to the end of the hall by the soft light emanating from the room at the back of the house.

I stepped inside and realized this was clearly the master bedroom. It was a perfect woodland sanctuary, complete with a stone fireplace. The room was painted in a shade of sage green, contrasted nicely by the stark white bedding. I sat the bags down in front of the closet and sat down on the bed, gazing out the wall of windows to the side.

It was late afternoon and the sun breaking through the clouds, shades of pink just barely visible on the horizon. The light shining through the evergreens and barren branches was breathtaking. I closed my eyes and listened to the unbroken silence surrounding me. My life had been nearly absent of silence since I had run away from Forks, and I now realized how much I had missed it.

Kicking my shoes off, I lay down on the plush comforter facing the windows so I could watch the sunset. Thoughts of my past drifted through my mind, but it wasn't painful. Memories of Charlie fishing and Renee burning dinner brought a small smile to my face. It felt good to think of them free of grief and fear, as if I could now honor them with pleasant memories of our lives before they were taken from me.

As the sun moved lower in the sky, my eyelids drifted shut and I fell into a deep sleep. When I woke, I realized I was underneath a blanket and that the smell of a wood burning fire was in the air. I dragged my heavy eyelids open to see Jasper's amber eyes looking down at me.

"You looked so peaceful," he said softly as he sat down on the edge of the bed. The room was dark other than the flickering light from the fireplace. The light cast a warmer hue to his icy pale skin, and the shadows made his wheat colored hair look darker.

"It's a very peaceful place," I agreed as I reached a hand up to smooth a lock of hair out of his eyes. It was thick and soft and I was unable to stop myself from repeating the motion over and over again. He closed his eyes, apparently enjoying the sensation, so I kept going as he allowed me to tug him down to lie next to me.

I repositioned myself so that I was lying on my side, my chin resting on top of his head, the reverse of the way we usually slept. My fingers never stopped their journey through his hair as I pressed gentle kisses onto his head. He reached one arm out to tug me even closer to him. I felt his cool breath before he pressed a gentle kiss to the hollow of my neck.

He left his lips pressed gently against my skin without moving. I nuzzled his hair with my nose, immersing myself in his musky scent. I felt so connected to him, as if by lying so close we had actually merged together. All of the pain we had faced on our own had led us to this moment of peace together.

I relaxed even further and mentally released my emotions, wanting Jasper to know exactly how I felt. I moved one hand down to touch his face so I could feel the moment he began to smile as my emotions reached him. It was tempting to move to see his beautiful smile, but I didn't want to break the perfect stillness. Instead, I let my fingers see for me, tracing the slight creases his smile caused before pressing my thumb gently against his lips.

We lay together in our silent bliss for endless minutes, maybe hours. I lost all track of time, lost in the feeling of being wrapped around the man I loved, literally pouring my love into him. I gradually became aware of a change in my emotions, the intensity of my love and happiness increasing, becoming larger than I could hold in my body. I felt as if I was exploding in joy and love, and tears began to escape my eyes as I felt Jasper reign in the feeling he had projected toward me.

"Wow," I gasped out as I regained the breath necessary for speech. He pushed himself up on an elbow and leaned over me, running a hand through my tangled hair.

"Yeah," he said simply, shrugging his shoulders before leaning in to kiss me with a soft open mouth. Our tongues danced gently together, but before our embrace intensified, he pushed himself up into a sitting position.

"It's getting later, Bella. We should get you something to eat. You missed lunch while we drove," he scolded. "I should have been more aware of the time. Next time, remind me," he ordered, regret filling his voice.

"I would have said something if I was hungry," I said as I struggled into a sitting position. "And now that you mention it, I'm really hungry," I finished with a laugh. He gently pulled me into standing and smiled as he led me out of the bedroom toward the kitchen.

I made a quick and simple meal of grilled cheese and tomato soup, the perfect winter combination. Jasper looked concerned about the condensed soup and I had fun teasing him about roasting dinosaur meat over the campfire during his "ancient" human days.

After that jab, he went all caveman, throwing me over his shoulder and slapping me on the ass as he carried me out of the kitchen. I reached down to "pinch" his ass in revenge, but I don't think he even felt it. A light bulb went off in my head as I figured out a more effective way to retaliate. I wriggled around on his shoulder as he laughed at my feeble escape attempt.

His laughter stopped as I squirmed into position and used my feet to rub his groin over top of his jeans. His dick reacted immediately and he pressed himself eagerly into my feet.

"I'm not sure, but I think you might have a situation there, Jasper," I said in a thoughtful tone. "I could probably investigate it a little better with my hands, but I just can't reach from here." He laughed as he used vampire speed to rush us up to the master bedroom, and before I blinked I was on my back on the bed, wrapping my legs around Jasper's waist as he attacked my mouth. He pushed his erection into my core, and I moaned as he broke off our kiss and looked down.

"Wait right there," he said quickly, smirking at my dazed expression. In a flash, he had rekindled the fireplace and dimmed the lights around the room. I sat up on my knees as he approached the bed again. Reaching my hands under the hem of his shirt, I caressed his firm abdomen before pushing the fabric up and over his head.

He stood shirtless in front of me, and I actually sat back to take in the view. The flickering firelight illuminated his pale skin and cast shadows over the hard contours of his pecs and abdominals. His jeans hung low on his hips, and my eyes were drawn to the perfect V created by his muscles.

My brain finally clicked into motion, and I realized that I could be touching _and_ looking, so I jumped into action. His eyes smoldered down at me as I leaned forward to caress every inch of available skin. He remained motionless as I touched him, but he groaned as I lightly ran my fingers over his nipples. I wanted nothing more than to continue my exploration, but I knew I needed to keep things at a slow pace if I wanted him to let me keep going.

"Okay?" I asked in a breathy voice, my eyes scanning his face for any sign of distress. His eyes were dark and there was tension in his jaw, but I was hoping it was just arousal from my touch.

"I'm good," he breathed out as he looked down at me.

Taking that as permission to continue, I sat up on my knees to kiss him urgently. He opened his mouth to allow my tongue access and we both moaned into each other. I ran my hands over his chest as I pulled back to kiss my way down his throat. His hands gently cradled my head as I moved further down to press a soft kiss over one nipple. He groaned my name out loud, but his hands were still relaxed on my head, so I grew bolder and licked the pebbled bud.

In an instant we were on the bed, his body propped up against the pillows as I hovered over his flawless chest. I slowly moved forward again, asking permission with my eyes as I moved. He nodded once as I returned to kiss and lick his other nipple. As I laved his cold skin with my tongue, I brought my hands up and caressed his stony abdomen, brushing against the top of his jeans as I moved.

He moaned my name and I moved my palm down the fly of his jeans, pressing firmly onto his erection. He bucked his hips into my hand, and I smiled against his chest at the knowledge that he was hard for me, because of how I was touching him. The thought of it made me wet and eager for more. Leaving my hand pressing over his bulging dick, I looked up at him. His eyes were closed and he had moved one hand behind his head, the other clenching the comforter.

I knew what I wanted to do, but I needed to hear Jasper tell me it was okay to go on. Regretfully, I moved my hand off his hard length and grabbed his clenched fist. His eyes flew open as I moved his hand to my lips, kissing each knuckle as he relaxed his grip.

"I can't tell if I'm making you feel good or torturing you," I admitted in a whisper, suddenly completely unsure of my next move. "I want to touch you so much, but I feel like I might be pushing you too far." His dark eyes softened as he registered my hesitation.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart, I didn't mean to confuse you," he whispered back, pulling me into his lap, my ass snug against his erection. "Your fingers and mouth on me is the hottest fucking thing I have ever felt," he growled into my ear in a low tone. "You're so soft and hot, I can't describe how amazing it feels."

His words and husky voice sent shivers straight to my clit, and I couldn't resist wiggling my ass against his dick. His answering moan vibrated through my body.

"The way you touch me is perfect, Bella. I can't wait to feel your hot little hand around my dick," he murmured into my ear. "I want you to touch me any way you want feel like, and if it's something I can't handle, I'll let you know, I promise. So relax and enjoy yourself, 'cause I sure as hell am gonna."

With those words, he licked a trail down the side of my neck along my shoulder, and I moaned as I felt more moisture dripping into my panties. I turned around to push him back, and he laughed as he complied with my movement. I leaned over him to press a brief kiss against his marble lips before sliding quickly down his body, my fingers flying to the top button of his jeans.

I locked my eyes on his as I slipped the row of buttons open. I cocked my head at him, wordlessly asking him to lift his hips. He complied with a smile, and I shimmied his jeans down and off, keeping eye contact with him. I finally allowed my eyes to drift down his body, beholding his naked dick for the first time.

It was as perfect as the rest of his body, long and thick and begging for my touch. I trailed my hand up his calf and inner thigh, avoiding his erection for now. I moved both hands to his hip bones, biting my lip in anticipation.

"Please, Bella," he whispered, his dark eyes piercing into me.

Smiling at him, I slowly began to move my hands down his perfect V before running my fingertips over his dick, base to tip. He hissed in pleasure as his cock twitched at my touch. Unwilling to delay for another second, I grasped his entire shaft in my hand, slowly pumping as I marveled at the play of the soft skin over the steely hardness.

He groaned in pleasure and tossed his head against the pillows.

"So good, Baby. So soft, so warm," he moaned. "Please don't stop."

"I'm not stopping, Jasper," I reassured him as I repeated the pumping movement while cupping his balls with my other hand. I continued rubbing him over and over, collecting the moisture seeping out of the tip with each pass of my hand. He began to thrust into my hand, and I felt my own arousal begin to throb.

Feeling emboldened by my own lust, I tugged firmly down on his balls as I increased the speed of the hand pumping him.

"Fuck, Bella, I'm coming!" he shouted as I watched in fascination as the cool streams of cum shot out of his thrusting dick, coating my fingers and dripping onto his abdomen. His orgasm went on and on, so I kept moving my hand until he finally stilled.

"So good, God so good," he moaned again, his eyes still closed tight. I smiled proudly at myself as I leaned forward toward him. I pressed kisses up his chest and neck before stopping at his lips.

"I love you, Jasper Whitlock," I said as kissed him softly, over and over.

"I love you too, Bella Swan," he answered against my lips. "That was amazing, like nothing I could have imagined."

I smiled against his lips, my hand still resting in a pile of cum on his abs. "It was my pleasure," I purred throatily. "Now impress me and tell me you thought to grab a towel on the way," I blurted out, giggling as he leaned up to look at the mess.

"Consider yourself impressed, Sweets," he replied as he reached into the bedside drawer to pull out a towel. He cleaned my hand first, taking his time with each finger, before quickly wiping himself off. He tossed the towel on the floor and looked at me. His amber eyes grew dark again as he met my eyes.

"Now, Miss Swan," he said in a slow drawl. "I believe it's your turn." He leaned forward over me, bracketing me with his arms as he leaned in to kiss me, his face filling my vision as his love had filled my world.

**AN**-

**My sweet MM, I heart you big! Glad you got the homework done, but you should seriously take my advice on your next paper. Your prof will LOVE it, you know it!**

**Thank you to my technical advisor, Christine30974! I'm sending Jasper over to help you out of the bathtub. I need him back tomorrow though, because he has to help me make a GIANT pitcher of lemonade!**

**That's right, people, lemonade time is almost upon us! A word to the wise, enjoy the fluff while you can! **

**Thanks to the regular review crew, you make me love doing this. Also, thanks to the new readers who have reviewed every chapter as they read, you're awesome!**

**Now, a note of appreciation to everyone who is reading this fic. I was recently told in a review that my first chapter gave someone a migraine headache. In all honesty, that pissed me off, but I did go back and look at it again. While I wouldn't use the words migraine headache, it did make me realize that I kind of got off to a shaky start, lol! Thanks for sticking with me as I've learned and (hopefully) improved, and for loving the "story" even when the execution wasn't perfect.**

**That said, leave me love (or hate!) But if you leave me hate, please do it politely! Constructive criticism is appreciated, meanness is not! **

**Love you all! **** heavyinfinity**


	13. Chapter 13

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer, but if I ever see a Jasper action figure, I'm gonna buy it!**

**Thanks as always to Mynxi for being a super beta babe. Congrats on your recent RL accomplishment, smart girl!**

**HUGE thank you to the Jasper's Darlins' for reviewing AMCE on their blog. I am beyond flattered. I don't have much time to play on the blogs, but when I do, the Darlins' is where I go!**

Chapter Thirteen

**JPOV**

I took my time cleaning my cum off of each of Bella's tiny fingers. My dick was almost sighing in relief at my first non-self induced orgasm in nearly two years, but my mind was just as relieved. I had been able to control my movements even at the peak of pleasure. Her soft warmth had felt exquisite, yet I hadn't injured her fragile hands even as I thrust into them seeking more friction. I felt extremely optimistic about being able to have sex without hurting her. There was just one more thing I wanted to test myself with before making Bella physically mine.

I tossed the dirty towel aside and locked my eyes onto hers. "Now, Miss Swan," I drawled with a heavy accent, "I believe it's your turn." I leaned forward over her tiny frame, bracing my arms on both sides of her. Her eyes widened and her breaths grew rapid as I moved my face toward hers to claim her lips in a long, open mouthed kiss.

Without breaking the kiss, I flipped her so she was on top and began tugging her shirt up to reveal her perfect tits, just ready to spill out of a black lacy bra. "Beautiful," I sighed as I lifted her shirt off and slid the bra off her shoulders.

Tugging on her denim clad ass, I slid her up my chest so I could easily reach her. I took a minute to enjoy kneading her soft, warm breasts with both hands before I took one nipple into my mouth. She moaned in pleasure as she arched her back.

I took my time, paying equal attention to each pink nipple. I alternated sucking with licking and pinching. When she began writhing on top of me, I took the hint and rolled us over again so that she was on her back, using all of my self control not to rub my throbbing dick on her.

I opened the button to her fraying jeans as I began to kiss my way down her abdomen. I mentally sighed at how prominent her ribs and hip bones still were. She had put some weight on since moving in with me, but she had a ways to go before she would be properly filled out again.

I sat up as I eased her jeans down her legs and tossed them aside. Lifting one of her tiny feet, I placed a gentle kiss on her toes. At her giggle, I looked up to see her smiling face, her eyes shining brilliantly as she watched me hold her foot.

"Hush," I scolded gently as I blew on her little toes. Her eyes darkened as her body shivered at the sensation of my cool breath. She remained silent, but kept her eyes locked on mine as I began to kiss my way up her calf and toward her inner thigh.

I felt her fingers in my hair as I reached the juncture of her thighs and the edge of her black panties. "Jasper," she breathed out as I gently pressed my mouth against the damp cotton, smirking as she reflexively lifted her hips to meet my lips.

I teased her through the fabric with my fingertips and tongue until she began to seriously tug my hair as she twisted around trying to get more friction. I moved my lips to the elastic at the top of her panties as I slowly began to pull them down, moving my mouth down as more skin was revealed to me.

Finally baring her completely, I sat back to take in the sight of her pink folds glistening in arousal. My eyes travelled up her body, taking in the fact that her eyes were closed tight and her head was pushed back into the pillows. Her hands were clenched into fists and her body was practically humming with tension.

Unable to wait any longer to taste her, I quickly leaned forward and used my hands to spread her folds open for me. I pressed a soft kiss to her hard little nub before I moved down to probe her with my tongue. Her taste was amazing, almost as sweet as her blood smelled. The sensation of warm wetness on my tongue was just as incredible as it had been on my fingers.

Reminding myself to moderate my movements, I began to thrust my tongue into her, groaning as she began rocking her hips to meet my motion. Replacing my tongue with two fingers, I licked my way back up to her throbbing clit.

She moaned my name hoarsely as she pushed herself down harder on my fingers. Smiling into her dripping pussy, I flicked my tongue lightly all around her tiny nub before latching my lips firmly over it and sucking tightly.

At that instant, I felt her tight walls convulse over my fingers. She bucked her hips wildly as her orgasm broke over her in waves. I slowed the motion of my fingers and gently eased the suction on her clit as she began to come down. Unable to resist one more taste, I dipped my tongue in to lap at the wet results of her pleasure, humming in satisfaction as she bucked weakly into my mouth.

Reluctantly removing my mouth from her, I looked up at her body, beautifully flushed with pleasure. My dick was hard as steel again from the sight and taste of her, and I began to mentally recite the periodic table backwards to try to calm myself down.

Bella was still gasping slightly as she came down from the high, her breasts heaving with every breath. Her eyes remained closed, but she grasped blindly for me with one hand. Smiling smugly, I pressed my cold body against hers as I moved up to kiss her softly on the lips.

Her eyes flew open, and I mentally chastised myself for not realizing she might not appreciate tasting herself for the first time. Before I could apologize, she surprised me by darting her tongue out and licking my lips before pressing it into my mouth for a short hot kiss.

"Jesus, Bella. I just got myself under control, don't get me started again," I whined as I broke our kiss and rolled onto my back. Giggling, she rolled over onto her side up against me. Pressing her lips against my cheek, she whispered into my ear.

"That was amazing, Jasper. Thank you."

I looked steadily into her eyes as I brought one hand up to play with her hair. "My pleasure, Sweetheart," I drawled at her with a smile. "Just wait, it gets even better," I promised her in a low growl.

Her eyes widened at my words and her heart rate began to pick up. "Easy there, we'll have plenty of time to mess around tomorrow. But you need to get some rest now so you have plenty of energy," I teased as I stood up, dragged my boxers on, and brought her bag over to the bed. She pretended to pout at me, but she couldn't stop her smile from breaking through.

"As much as I would love to cuddle up to your sweet, naked ass all night, I think you'd get chilly," I said regretfully as I tossed her a T-shirt and a pair of flannel pants.

"Thanks," she groaned as she stifled a yawn and stood up to walk into the bathroom.

I had to bite back my own groan as I stared blatantly at her naked body strolling casually away from me to begin her night time routine. I only made it through the periodic table two more times before she rejoined me on the bed, cuddling into the soft bedding as I settled us into our normal position.

"This is so perfect, Jasper," she mumbled as she drifted toward sleep. "Thank you for everything, this is great," she sighed as her breaths evened out.

"You're welcome, Baby," I whispered into her hair as I watched her face relax completely into sleep. I gave myself a moment to feel triumphant about being able to pleasure her with my mouth without hurting her or losing control. When I was touching her, I felt no bloodlust at all. I was just disappointed that my vampire venom made it impossible for me to bite her for pleasure, since she seemed to enjoy pinching so much.

My dick twitched at that line of thought, so I quickly began to distract myself with planning the day with Bella. She had responded so well to the peace and quiet out here that I wanted to spend some time with her outdoors. Unfortunately, I knew that probably wouldn't be at the top of her short list of things to do. I would just have to be extra persuasive in the morning.

She sighed softly in her sleep and I smiled at her beautiful face. After a few hours, I carefully extracted myself from the bed. She was having a really peaceful night; she hadn't even flinched once. I quietly pulled on my jeans and made my way out to the great room. I took in the night view of the frozen lake for a few minutes before I grabbed my laptop bag and set the computer up on the desk.

I logged on and checked my e-mail, hoping for an update from Jenks. I wasn't disappointed since there were actually two messages from him in my inbox. The first was an update on the Andy team. They were in position to watch his apartment and there was a man on him at all times. The team had quickly determined that it was impossible to keep tabs on the entire gang, so they had prioritized which leaders to watch while Jenks worked on recruiting more team members.

I shot back a reply, ordering him to move as quickly as possible on completing the team. I didn't like having any open ends when Bella's safety was concerned. I scanned the second message from Jenks and relaxed slightly. His guy at the Forks PD had been successful in his attempt to get Bella's possessions out of the evidence room. Two boxes were on their way to my apartment.

I sent a second reply, asking Jenks to contact my building manager with directions to hold the boxes for me and offered my sincere thanks for his help. I was unsure how Bella would react to having mementos of her previous life, but I knew it was better to offer her the chance rather than let them rot in a box in Forks.

My jobs for the evening completed, I pulled a book out of my bag and returned to the bedroom. Bella was still sleeping peacefully, her breaths deep and even. Knowing she liked to wake up in my arms, I carefully climbed back into bed and situated myself next to her. Her dreams remained calm and I divided the rest of the night between reading and devising my plan to get Bella outside tomorrow.

As day broke, I noticed with relief that it was overcast outside. I would be able to smell anyone within miles of us, so discovery wasn't a problem, but after all these years, I still really hated walking around sparkling. It was just a giant distraction, and for the trillionth time, I wondered about the evolutionary benefit to it.

Edward had debated with me that evolution didn't apply to us, since we were monsters. Carlisle and I had been of the opinion that we were a part of nature, therefore natural law should apply to us as well. We never settled the debate; in my experience, nobody ever convinced Edward to change his mind about anything.

Bella began to stir, so I put aside my musing and moved to snuggle with her. I moved myself under the covers and spooned around her little body, just as I did every morning. She flinched away as my arms made contact with hers, and I realized I hadn't put a shirt on. Reprimanding myself for being inconsiderate, I began to back away from her.

Even semi-sleeping, she was having none of it, immediately rolling over and pulling me back toward her. Smiling, I allowed her to move me back into place and wrap her arms around me. Her eyes remained closed, but she smiled peacefully as she shifted herself down to nuzzle her head against my bare chest.

Her warmth seeped into me as her cheek rested over where my heart once beat. I played gently with strands of her hair as she lightly ran her hand up and down my arm, following the patterns etched by my scars. I cherished these quiet moments with her, and appreciated the fact that she didn't feel the need to constantly fill our time together with words and motion.

Alice had brought me peace by introducing me to the Cullen's lifestyle, but her nature was to be constantly on the move, always chatting about her next plan. I can't say that her frenetic personality ever annoyed me, but the quiet time Bella and I spent enjoying each other made me realize how much I appreciated the chance to just "be" with the woman I loved.

"What are you thinking about?" she murmured into my chest.

"I'm thinking about how much I love having you wake up like this," I said honestly. I felt her smile against my body as she rolled herself on top of me, resting in between my legs and propping her chin onto her arms over my torso.

The position was intimate, but neither of us reacted with lust, just enjoying the peace of touching each other.

"What are you thinking about?" I teased as I traced her face with my fingertip.

"I'm thinking about how much I love it that you'll leave your shirt off around me," she answered as she moved to press a chaste kiss on one of my many scars.

"You help me see myself differently," I explained, realizing I was speaking both about my physical appearance and my character. She blinked rapidly at my words, and I realized she was confused. "I used to see my scars as a constant reminder of the monster I was, like no matter what I ever did, the atrocities I committed would still be written on my skin. But thanks to you, now I see each one as a mark of what I had to go through to get to where I am."

She smiled at my words, and I felt a fleeting touch of relief from her. Either her tight rein on her emotions was relaxing, or I was getting better at recognizing the brief flashes she emitted. "Why are you feeling relief?" I asked bluntly, hoping she wouldn't get offended.

"I'm relieved that I can make you feel better, Jasper. Our relationship feels pretty one-sided sometimes, so I feel happy when I know I did something good for you."

My still heart sank as she described her perception of the balance of our relationship. Quickly but gently, I pulled her up and sat us so that we were facing each other. Her calves draped over my thighs, but her butt was on the bed. I wanted her to know that I was talking with my heart and not my dick, and that would be difficult to prove if she was sitting on my hard on.

"Never think you don't give to me," I said urgently, taking her chin in one hand. "You being here, with me, loving me, gives me something I never felt before, Bella. I know I give you money, buy you food, take you on trips; but if you take all that shit away, I know it would still be you and me, sitting together, loving each other. I know if you could, you'd buy me the world on a silver platter, but I don't want the world, I just want you. You see me in a way no one else has ever seen me, and the reflection of that in your eyes is the greatest gift you could ever give me," I whispered, locking my eyes with hers.

Sure enough, her brown eyes shone with love, admiration and respect, a combination I had never been on the receiving end of, prior to finding Bella. I felt her emotional shield drop a little before she hit me with a wave of pure joy and love. I closed my eyes, just enjoying the rush of her feelings. She grasped my hands in hers, linking our fingers, laughing softly as she moved.

"What?" I asked, keeping my eyes shut.

"I think I'm making you high," she said smugly.

I grinned widely at her words, and she laughed again.

"Yep, you're definitely buzzed," she teased, as her stomach began to growl loudly. I opened my eyes and raised an eyebrow.

"Hungry, are we?" I teased. Blushing prettily, she nodded slightly. "Then get your ass out of bed and cook something, Bella," I ordered with a laugh. She rolled her eyes at me and flipped me off before hopping out of bed and heading into the bathroom.

I made my way into the kitchen and got the coffee pot going, greeting her with a steaming cup when she joined me. Smiling her thanks, she pressed a kiss to one of my knuckles as she carefully took the mug from my hand.

"What's on the breakfast menu today?" I asked idly as she sorted through the shopping bags, eventually grabbing a box and pulling it out.

"Just a breakfast bar, I think," she answered absently as she opened the box and unwrapped one. I eyed it as she bit into it. It smelled sweet, but it was relatively small, and I knew there was no way it would hold her through the morning. I knew she was unaware of it, but she still had a tendency not to eat too much at one time, as if she was worrying about having enough later on. It was one of the reasons she was still a touch too thin, in my opinion.

Stalking over to her, I grabbed the offending prepackaged breakfast bar and tossed it aside. "Sorry, Baby, that won't cut it today," I said gruffly. Her eyes grew wide at my actions, but before she could speak, I ordered her out of the way. "Sit down at the bar and wait while I cook you a REAL breakfast."

She began backing up to the barstools, but her expression was hesitant. "Are you sure that's a good idea, Jasper?" she began. "It's probably been awhile since you cooked, and I can really just eat another breakfast bar if it would make you feel better."

"I don't want to hear anymore about that unappetizing thing," I snapped. "I am cooking you eggs and bacon, something I managed to do over an open fire many times when I was human. I'm sure I can handle it on state of the art appliances," I grumbled, insulted at her lack of faith.

"Jasper, I'm sure you were the Iron Chef of the Confederate Army," she shot back, "but that was a long time ago, and a stove is a lot different than a campfire, so make sure you pay attention, because burned bacon fucking stinks!"

Her words were sharp, but her smile was sweet as she primly crossed her legs and waited for me to begin. Thankfully, my vampire mind was able to handle the challenge of the fancy stove, and before long I was able to shove a plate of eggs and bacon with a side of toast in front of her.

She tasted cautiously at first, but after a bite, she dug in eagerly, finishing it all in no time. "You really were the Iron Chef, back then, weren't you?" she teased as she stood to rinse her plate.

"No, nothing like that," I answered with a small laugh. "My mama made sure I knew my way around a cooking fire, that's all."

"Well, she taught you right, Mr. Whitlock," Bella replied. "Those were some damn fine eggs! I didn't know you had it in you!" she teased. "Now, what's on the agenda for today?" she asked, giving the evil eye to the shopping bags from the outfitter.

"Well," I drawled out slowly. "I was hoping I could convince you to come on a little hike with me." Her eyes darted to the windows, taking in the deep snow covering the ground.

"You want ME, to go on a hike, in THAT?" she sputtered, waving her hands wildly. "Jasper, that is just a disaster waiting to happen. I know I'm able to walk on even surfaces without falling on my face now, but let's not take things overboard. There's like a foot of snow out there, not to mention ice. I'm guaranteed to at least sprain an ankle…"

I cut in before she could continue. "Calm down, Sweets. I would never let anything happen to you," I interrupted in a soothing voice. "Listen to your options before you give up on the entire idea," I urged as I walked over to stand next to her. She sighed heavily, but leaned into me as I wrapped an arm around her.

"Option one is to go snowshoeing. I bought us each a set yesterday. You're on top of the snow, no ice, and I'll be with you the whole time." She opened her mouth to begin protesting, but I interrupted her again. "Option two," I said firmly, "is that I do the hiking and you just hitch a ride. I bought plenty of outdoor gear, so you'll stay warm enough, and there's zero risk of injury."

She sighed again before she answered. "Okay, Jasper, I'll go piggy back. The snowshoe idea was cute, but I think it's a little ambitious. But I'm holding you to the zero injury thing. I'd better not end up with an icicle in my eye or something."

I ignored her grumbling and tossed a bag full of winter gear at her. She headed upstairs and made quick work of getting ready. In no time, she was decked out in snow pants, heavy boots and her coat, as well as a hat, scarf and big mittens. She called herself the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man, but I thought she looked adorable.

My own gear was limited to a light set of snow pants and some good boots in addition to my heavy coat. Just because the cold wouldn't bother me didn't mean I wanted to walk around with ice cold pants all day. Leading her to the door, I turned to kiss her gently.

"Thanks for coming out with me, Bella. I think you'll be glad you did," I said softly as I helped her hop up on my back. "Just let me know if you need me to slow down or take a break."

"Will do," she answered softly as she rested her head on my back. With that I opened the door and walked us out into the pristine winter air. I strode easily through the snow drifts to a small trail not far from the house that I had located while hunting yesterday. The snow wasn't as deep on the trail, so I was able to walk easily without jostling Bella around on my back.

I followed the trail higher up the hillside, enjoying the sight of snow on the tree branches. I could feel Bella moving her head around to take in the view as I walked and hoped she was enjoying the fresh air and the view. After about an hour of walking, we reached the summit.

There was a clearing on the hilltop that looked down over the lake. I spied a large rock nearby and walked over to it, allowing Bella to climb down from my back onto it. Standing on the rock brought us eye to eye, and I couldn't resist leaning in for a kiss.

She opened her mouth in response, but we kept our motions soft and gentle. We stood there kissing for several minutes before we finally released each other.

"Think you can rough it over to the edge?" I asked with humor. "I think the view will be spectacular if you're up for it."

Her eyes sparkled and her cheeks were flushed from the fresh air and kissing. "I guess I'll tough it out," she grumbled jokingly as she hopped down from the rock into my waiting arms.

I kept a tight hold of her as we walked over to the edge of the clearing, but she didn't need my assistance. We stood side by side and took in the white landscape. Our cabin was visible to the right and the lake stretched out to the left. We stood there admiring nature in silence for quite awhile.

"Beautiful," she finally whispered, her breath steaming in the air. "It's good to be outside," she admitted, "Even if it is like fifteen degrees below zero."

"Chill out, drama queen," I replied with a smile. "It's actually fifteen degrees _above_ zero. Downright balmy, if you ask me."

"Says the vampire," she snapped back, softening her harsh tone with a wink. I knew she wasn't really complaining, but her lips were turning pale and I noticed her shivering periodically as we stood there.

"Point taken," I sighed dramatically as I scooped her up onto my back again. She giggled softly and pressed a kiss onto the back of my head as I turned to walk us back to the cabin. I picked up the pace as I felt her shivering increase.

"Doing okay?" I asked, concerned that she was miserable.

"Chill, drama queen," she sassed back. "I'm cold, but I'll survive until we make it back."

"Okay, tough girl. No turning into a popsicle without telling me." She laughed and we returned to an easy silence as I made quick work of getting her back inside. We dumped all of our snowy gear in the convenient mudroom and I scooped her up and carried her into the living room, placing her on the couch and wrapping a soft blanket around her.

I quickly lit a fire in the fireplace and went into the kitchen to put the tea kettle on for her. While I waited for the water to boil, I joined her on the couch in front of the fire. Her color looked better and she was no longer shivering.

"You were a trooper, Bella. Thanks for coming with me, I'm glad I got to share that with you," I admitted as I sat down beside her, careful not to disturb her blanket cocoon.

"I'm glad I went, Jasper. It was worth seeing," she said quietly. The water boiled and I quickly made her a sweet cup of tea. She sipped on it as we sat in front of the fire, just enjoying being near each other. Her transition into sleep was so gradual, I almost missed it. I carefully stood and tucked her in more securely.

I got dressed to go out again and left her a note that I was out hunting. I wasn't even thirsty, but it was a precaution I wanted to take before I touched Bella tonight. I hoped she got a good rest during her little nap, because I planned on keeping her up late.

**BPOV**

I woke suddenly, feeling that groggy, anxious, nap-wasn't-quite-long-enough sensation. Thinking a drink might snap me out of it, I stood up to head into the kitchen. I noticed the slip of paper fall off of my blanket and reached to pick it up. Jasper's neat handwriting informed me he was hunting and would be back soon.

I smiled at that information, since I knew the fact that he was hunting again meant he had physical plans for us tonight. I was more than ready; it was time for us to be connected in every way. He already shared my heart, if I had my way, he would share my body tonight.

Padding into the kitchen, I grabbed a soda from the fridge, feeling better immediately as the sugar and caffeine hit my system. The sun was already low in the sky, the winter day already waning. I felt stiff from sleeping on the couch and clinging to Jasper like a monkey during our hike, so I decided to check out the hot tub.

It was situated in a cedar paneled room, decked out with a full entertainment system and sound system. I flicked the stereo on and quiet classical music filled the room. I left the sound down low, not wanting to be overwhelmed with noise. Noticing the pile of thick towels within arm's reach of the tub, I realized I was all set up and quickly stripped down to get into the water, piling my hair up into a messy bun with a hair tie.

The hot water felt amazing. There were jets everywhere you could imagine and it was like getting a massage under the water. Each seating area had different features so I moved around the tub, ooing and ahhing when I found a jet that felt particularly good. I closed my eyes and sank down into the water feeling my stiffness and grogginess melt away.

"Mind if I join you?" Jasper's smooth voice echoed in the room. I opened my eyes to see him standing in the doorway, staring down at my naked body in the water.

Giving him my best sultry smirk, I cocked my head to one side. "Suit yourself," I answered carelessly.

He moved so rapidly that I couldn't really see him as he stripped and joined me in the water.

"Mmmm, nice," he hummed as he pulled me over closer to him.

I ran my hands up and down his arms, enjoying the warm feeling the water lent to him. "Mmm, I agree," I hummed back. I moved closer and straddled him on the hot tub bench, grinning at the feeling of his hard dick underneath me.

He moaned and pushed up toward me, but I knew there was no way he would allow our first time together to be fucking in a hot tub. _Maybe our second or third time, though_, I thought to myself as I leaned in to kiss him.

We spent endless minutes just kissing each other in the hot water. In unspoken agreement, neither of us tried to escalate our passion, despite the intimate way I was straddling him. Finally he broke off to nuzzle my neck.

"You're getting really pruny, Bella. How long were you in here before I got back, anyway?"

I shrugged absently. "Awhile. I guess I should get out and rinse the chlorine off."

"Sounds good. I'll make you a sandwich while you shower," he answered as he stood up to climb out of the water. I allowed myself to blatantly ogle his perfect pale body as he moved to grab a towel. The steam had dampened his hair, turning it darker and weighing it down into his eyes and the water droplets accented the perfect contours of his torso.

I stood up and stepped out beside him, pressing myself up against him, shivering at his already cool temperature. Standing on my tiptoes, I pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw before I literally forced myself to take a towel, wrapping myself in it and walking out of the room to shower. I had waited this long to have sex with him, rinsing the stinky chlorine off my skin would only make it better.

Ten minutes later I joined him in the kitchen, noticing that he smelled like soap. He must have rinsed off in one of the other bathrooms. I ate my sandwich quickly and quietly, staring back at him as he watched me intently.

After I finished, I got up and rinsed my plate off while he remained seated at the table. I turned to face him again as I finished. We locked eyes for a moment, neither of us making a sound. My heart began to pound as desire for him rushed over me.

In an instant, he was in front of me, pressing me into the counter as he ravaged my mouth with his. Moaning, I leaned into the kiss and slid my leg up to wrap around his waist, pressing my center against his. He brought his hands under my ass and I wrapped the other leg around him tightly. He thrust briefly against me, sending heat through me. In a flash, we were in our bedroom, on the edge of the bed as I straddled him.

He tugged my shirt over my head and began palming my bare breasts. I leaned my body back, thrusting myself toward him. Taking the hint, he brought his tongue to the underside of my breast, licking slowly up to my nipple before taking it into my mouth. He began to lap it gently before he sucked in earnest.

I mewed in pleasure as he increased the suction and began to pinch my other nipple. He used the perfect pressure and I felt myself growing wetter and wetter as I pressed my tits further into him and rubbed my core against his hard dick.

He growled quietly and spun us around so that I was lying on the edge of the bed, my legs hanging over the edge. He unbuttoned my jeans and tugged them off, raising an eyebrow but not commenting on my lack of undergarments.

His amber eyes grew dark as he leaned down and lifted my legs up and open. He slowly leaned his face toward my center and my breath hitched as I waited for him to make contact. His cool lips pressed against my hot clit and he pressed a gentle kiss against it as he slid one finger into me.

"So wet for me," he whispered against my wet mound. I moaned and bucked myself up and down on his cold finger inside me. He hummed against my folds as he added another finger inside and began to rub hard against my nub. I felt the pleasure begin to build low in my body and I moved wildly against his fingers.

He turned his fingers slightly, hitting me just where I needed to be hit, while he kept tonguing my clit. The sensation set me over the edge and I came, screaming his name over and over. He let me come down gently, slowly withdrawing his fingers and pressing one more kiss against my wet lips.

I sat myself up and tugged his shirt off, ghosting my hands over his perfect chest. He allowed me to pull him to standing in front of me, and I began to unbutton the fly of his jeans. I tugged them down, giving him a raised eyebrow when I saw he was going commando as well.

He stepped gracefully out of his jeans and I ran my hand along his hipbone down to his perfect dick. He hissed as I stroked him firmly, spreading the moisture leaking from the tip down his shaft. I raised my eyes to meet his, and we froze for a moment as we stared at each other.

We needed no words, our bodies and eyes spoke for us as he gently lifted me back and laid me down on the bed. He hovered over me and I could feel his cold dick against my abdomen. He looked at me, his eyes heavy with desire as he kissed me deeply, rubbing his tongue against mine fiercely.

I felt him adjust his position and closed my eyes as the tip of his dick rubbed my entrance. "Yes," I moaned quietly, my body crying out to be joined to his.

"Yes," he answered back quietly as he pushed in and slid slowly home. The sensation of being filled by him was beyond anything I had imagined. Exquisitely slow, he continued pressing himself into me as I fought to remain still, knowing this was something we both needed to get accustomed to.

"Oh God," he moaned as he finally sheathed himself fully in me. His cold dick felt like glorious fire inside me as my wet walls stretched around him. Slowly I pressed the small of my back down into the bed, both of us moaning as he slid even deeper inside me.

I opened my eyes to find his intently fixed on my face. We kept eye contact as he slowly began to pull out of me. Reluctant to lose contact, I involuntarily thrust up against him. He closed his eyes briefly at the sensation and bit his bottom lip as he pushed back into me, using slightly more pressure this time.

Unable to hold still any longer, I brought my legs up and moaned as it changed the angle of his penetration. He began to thrust over and over again, gradually gaining speed as my hips bucked against him.

I panted his name over and over as I felt myself begin to tighten inside. The look of him focused on bringing me pleasure, his hair in his eyes, his expression intent, was breathtaking. I felt one of his hands on my ass, lifting me slightly as he thrust into me, and I went over the edge. He kept moving perfectly into me as I came on his dick, knowing exactly what I needed to keep the pleasure coming in waves.

Keening his name, I lifted my hips frantically against him. He released my ass and braced his arms around me, closing his eyes as he picked up speed slightly. "Bella, Bella, Bella," he breathed out in a chant. He groaned so deeply that I felt it in my own chest as his face went slack. I felt a cold rush as he emptied into me. The change in temperature and pace set off another orgasm and I screamed his name again as he moaned mine.

Finally he stilled, and opened his eyes again. "Beautiful," he whispered as he drew a hand through my tangled hair.

"Breathtaking," I whispered back as I mirrored his motion in his own soft hair.

I groaned in loss as he withdrew himself from me. He immediately looked at me in concern. "Are you okay? Does it hurt?" he asked in a rush.

Shaking my head quickly to reassure him, I answered. "No, I'm perfect. Nothing hurts, it was perfect and I can't wait to do it again," I babbled frantically, suddenly afraid that he was going to tell me it was too risky to have sex again.

His face softened at my words and he picked me up and sat back with me straddling him. "It's okay, Bella," he reassured me. "I'm just checking on you since it was the first time. I expected you to be a little tender, honestly. You're small and I'm not," he said with a shrug.

My body relaxed as I realized he wasn't backing off. "Don't worry, Sweets. I want to do that over and over again. You'll probably get sick of it eventually," he deadpanned as I climbed off of him to start cleaning up.

"You're probably right," I deadpanned back. "Good thing we both like to read, I guess."

"Not fucking likely, Bella," he growled at me as he yanked me back into his lap. Smiling, I let myself melt against his cool chest and tucked my head under his chin. An uncomfortable thought crossed my mind, and I couldn't shake it no matter how I tried.

Jasper noticed my mood change and immediately moved me to look into my eyes. "What's bothering you?" he asked simply.

I managed to keep eye contact with him, but I couldn't control my blush as I forced myself to answer. "Umm, this is so cliché, but, really, I'm just kind of wondering if it was any good for you," I stuttered weakly. "You know, since you have to be so careful, I just worried that it maybe didn't feel as good as you're used to, or…"

He didn't allow me to finish the sentence before he claimed my lips in a passionate kiss. "Never think it, Bella," he answered, re-using his words from this morning. "That was the most amazing sex I've ever had. I can't describe how your heat feels around my dick, there just aren't words for it, Bella. It more than compensates for the extra focus I need not to hurt you. It was perfect, because it was me and you, end of story."

His words reassured me, and I forced myself to end the train of thought. I snuggled into him again, my hands tracing his scars absently. He wrapped his arms around me and held me wordlessly for a few minutes before we both became aware of the sticky mess we were sitting in. We laughed together as he stood us up and walked us to the shower. We playfully washed each other and had a pillow fight as we changed the sheets.

We spent the rest of the night laughing and making love before I finally succumbed to sleep. The rest of the weekend passed in a blur of laughter and love. He made me breakfast again and drug me outside to ice skate. I only lasted a half an hour, since even with his constant help, I just couldn't stay upright. Despite the failure, I enjoyed the experience as our laughter echoed through the cold air.

We had sex as often as my human body could handle in between eating and sleeping. He grew more and more comfortable with his control inside my body, trying new positions and becoming less restrained with me. Everything he did to me was pure bliss, and I enjoyed the freedom to touch him back, learning his body as he learned mine.

Too soon, we were packing up the Jeep and heading back to town. We exchanged vehicles and got back on the road to reality. My heart remained light and I had fun flipping the channels on XM, singing out loud when I knew songs and dancing in the seat to ones I didn't. My happiness must have been reaching him, because I had never seen him smile so much. He constantly held my hand, and sometimes sang along with me.

As we pulled onto a larger highway, his cell phone beeped as it returned to coverage. I handed it to him absently, knowing his vampire mind could handle driving while on the phone. I noticed him frowning as he looked at the screen. He hit send and frowned more as he apparently listened to a voicemail.

"Something wrong?" I asked as my mind raced with possibilities for disaster.

"It's okay, Bella. Carlisle called several times and left a message. He and Esme would like very much to see you as soon as possible," he answered me in a calm tone.

My heart sank as I processed his words. My head began to shake "no" without my volition. "No way, no way," I repeated over and over. "I don't want to see them all, have them judge me, judge us!" Panic began to well up in my chest, and it felt difficult to fill my lungs with air. My vision started to fade to grey and I absently noted the feeling of tears on my cheeks.

Suddenly a blast of cold air hit me as Jasper opened my door and scooped me into his arms. He sat us down on the edge of the highway, my shaking body astride his lap. "Breathe with me, Bella," he murmured into my ear, as he took slow even breaths. "Look at me and breathe," he repeated over and over, gently rocking us as my body began to follow his lead and oxygen began to return to my brain.

"Are you with me now?" he asked quietly. I nodded my head affirmatively and he continued rocking us as he rubbed my back. "I told you, Bella. You don't want to see them, you don't see them. I don't think Carlisle would ever force himself on you, but if he tries, I'll take you away. Trust me, I will never let anyone make you do something you don't want to."

I shook my head against his chest and reached my hands up to touch his hair, drawing comfort from the softness. "I'm sorry, Jasper. I know that and I do trust you. I guess I just got too used to the peace up there, and when I thought about seeing them, I just panicked," I admitted, deeply concerned with my inability to control my reaction to the bad news.

I moved myself gently away from him and stood up, wondering for a moment what the other drivers on the highway must be thinking of us. "I'm good now, Jasper. Let's just get home." I knew my voice was unnaturally flat, but I hoped he would let it go. I felt so torn between my desire to open up to him and my desire to build my walls back up to protect myself. The fact that I had needed to depend on Jasper to get me out my panic made me feel weak and defenseless.

We got buckled in and he pulled us out onto the highway. We continued to make good time, but the light mood was completely gone. I didn't even hear the radio as I stared at the passing scenery, lost in my thoughts. Before I knew it, we were back in Manhattan, pulling into the garage at our building.

I noticed him watching me with concern as we unloaded the car, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I began unpacking my bags, glad to have an excuse to keep me busy. I started a load of laundry, gasping as I turned and ran right into Jasper. He reached out and steadied me before leading me gently to the couch.

"Please, let me in," he said earnestly. "I can see something is upsetting you, and it's killing me that you won't talk to me about it. Don't run away from me, Bella. Let me in." His amber eyes drilled into mine, and I saw the self doubt that he tried to hide. The years of being considered the weak link in the family had left their mark, just as his years with Maria had.

Suddenly, my feelings of weakness seemed silly. I was ashamed that I was letting my habit of isolation make Jasper feel insecure and shut out. "I'm so sorry, Jasper," I choked out. "I do trust you, I trust you with everything I am. I trust you to love me, I trust you not to hurt me, and I trust you not to leave me," I continued, pouring my faith in him into my words, hoping he was picking it up.

"That panic attack really threw me, and I started feeling like I depend on you too much, like I needed to pull back a little to protect myself." He frowned at my words, so I leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips. "It was wrong, I see that now. It hurt you, and I'm so sorry. I know that it's okay to rely on you, because I know you'll always be there. I don't need to do it on my own anymore."

His body relaxed at my words. He slid his head down past mine to lay it on my shoulder and I immediately reached up to run my fingers soothingly through his hair. "I will never get tired of touching your hair," I said absently as I continued the motion. Without answering, he shifted us so that I was reclining against the couch and he was lying on his back against my chest.

His silence concerned me, but I decided to let it be for awhile longer. Continuing to comb my fingers through his hair, I allowed him to move my free hand up to his face. He pressed a kiss into my palm before sliding it over his cool cheek.

"I thought I was losing you," he said softly. "I looked in your eyes, and I could almost see you running away in your head, and I thought I was losing you."

I wrapped my legs around his waist and curled my upper body over his to bring my face alongside his head. My heart broke at the knowledge that I had caused him to doubt us. I needed the right words to reassure him that he was worth staying for.

"You will never lose me, Jasper Whitlock. You will never lose me, because you are strong enough for the both of us. If I get weak and try to run, you'll pull me back, just like you did tonight. I wish I could promise you that I'll never shut down on you again, but that wouldn't be honest. The shit I've been through changed me, and it will take time to move past it. I'm going to keep working on allowing myself to depend on you, but I know if I slip, you'll be there to catch me. I trust you to hang on when I can't."

He slowly sat up, and I sighed with relief when I saw that his face was relaxed again. "I will never lose you, Bella," he began, determination filling his words. "I will never lose you because I will never let go."

"Good," I whispered, cuddling against him for a moment. "Now let me up, Whitlock. I'm a working woman now, and I need to get ready for my first day," I ordered as I pressed a kiss to the underside of his neck.

"No way," he growled, tightening his arms around me. "I'm not letting go."

"Oh, that's a shame, Jasper. I was thinking that if I got my stuff together, we'd have time to knock boots before bed, but if I'm tied up here all night, it'll never happen."

Instantly we were standing in front of the couch as he tugged me toward the bedroom. "Did you really just say 'knock boots', Bella?" he asked incredulously as we walked.

"Yup," I replied as I patted his ass. "I sure did. If you ever want to knock mine again, you'll shut up about it, _especially_ around Emmett," I ordered playfully.

"Yes, ma'am," he drawled out, his eyes twinkling. "I would never consider mentioning that to Emmett, 'cause yours are the only boots I want to knock."

"Damn straight, Cowboy," I drawled back at him as we reached the bedroom. "Your boots are mine, mine are yours. Happily ever after, in boot knocking paradise."

He laughed outright at me, scooping me up and tossing me onto the bed, my work clothes forgotten. His eyes shone with humor and love, and I knew we were alright.

**AN- Okay, don't kill me, we all know they had sex in the hot tub at some point during the weekend! I just couldn't do three lemons in one chapter, and honestly we REALLY need to get back to the storyline at some point. Poor Andy is being pimped out by vicious drug lords, we need to go check on him! If I get some good reviews, maybe I'll try an outtake of the hot tub (I'm shameless!)**

**My dear MM- Thank you for loving me even when I am a pot smoking porn star being held hostage by bad Japanese science fiction. My boots are yours, just name the time and place ;* I will e mail you a copy of the t shirt ;p**

**Now, grab a cigarette and light up (stop screaming, this is virtual, no cancer!). We're smoking one in the bunker in honor of the conclusion to Master of the Universe. I once wrote in a review of this fic that I would read about her Bella and Edward brushing their teeth in the nursing home, and I meant it. If you don't know it, go now and read it, you won't be sorry.**

**New fic that I love: Bourbon and Tea by zigster. Bella and Jasper, AH, with the awesomest bad tattoo I've ever read about! **

**Thank you all for reading! Love you so!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer.**

**Officially improved by the magic that is mynxi.**

Chapter Fourteen

**BPOV**

I finished tucking my damp hair into a messy bun and hurried out of the bathroom. Thanks to Jasper's idea of a wakeup call, I was running late this morning. An involuntary smile crossed my lips at the memory of Jasper waking me up with his tongue on my clit, and I decided the pleasure had been well worth being five minutes late to the bookstore.

Working for this past week at the store had been a dream come true compared to my previous jobs. The job was less physical and certainly less stressful. There were no drunken ass holes to fight off, no happy hands to avoid, just people in search of books and coffee. Madeline and I got along really well and my hours at work passed quickly.

I grabbed the first pair of jeans I touched and threw on a t-shirt and hoodie. Grabbing my chucks from the closet, I hurried out to the kitchen to grab breakfast. Smelling the scent of fresh coffee, I sent a wave of gratitude to Jasper, who was sitting at his desk. He was talking on his cell phone with a serious look on his face.

He flashed me a quick little grin, but frowned again almost immediately. "I'm sorry, Carlisle, but you have to tell Esme that Bella's answer is still no," he said firmly. My stomach sank at his words, but I shrugged it off and began looking for my favorite coffee mug.

Jasper had returned Carlisle's calls last weekend when we returned from the cabin. Unsurprisingly, he was calling because Rosalie and Emmett had returned home and given him the abbreviated version of my last two years. Jasper said that Carlisle had been shocked and disturbed, and that he wanted very much to speak to me in person.

I hated it that I still felt unable to comply with that request. I still respected Carlisle very much, and I knew that the decision to leave Forks had been made at Edward's request. However, in my mind, their decision to sever all ties had ended any sort of familial relationship I had with the Cullens.

Jasper had earned his way back into my heart, and Emmett was hard to stay mad at, but I just wasn't ready to let anyone else into my life yet. Jasper had been nothing but supportive of my decision, but it put him in the uncomfortable position of being the middleman during Carlisle's daily calls to ask about me.

"I'll certainly tell her you asked, Carlisle," Jasper's smooth voice broke into my reverie as I poured my coffee. "No, I don't speak for her, I'm just relaying the message," he spoke again, tension slowly invading his words. He ran his fingers through his dark blonde hair as he leaned back in his chair.

"Yes, I agree with you, but as I've said before, the decision is all hers." He closed his eyes, and I imagined him counting to a billion in his vampire mind, trying to stay patient. He had told me that Carlisle was having a difficult time understanding my resistance to seeing the family again. I felt a small amount of guilt at upsetting the people I had cared so much about, but seeing the image of my father's body washed that feeling away.

"I'll tell her, that's all I can do. Yes, please give my love to Esme and tell Rose and Emmett I said 'hi'," Jasper said in a final tone before hanging up the phone. His expression was bleak and I could almost see the frustration pouring out of him.

I walked over to him and pressed a kiss onto the top of his head. "Anything new today?" I asked, smiling wryly. Carlisle and Esme ended every conversation with Jasper by sending me their love and asking me to call them.

"No, just the same message as always."

"So what has you so frustrated?" I asked gently as I carefully hopped up onto his desk and began to sip my coffee.

He picked up my free hand in his and toyed idly with my fingers as he rocked his desk chair side to side slowly. Leaning forward to press a kiss into my palm, he finally gave me a small smile before he answered.

"Just a bad update from Jenks. He has two guys on Andy, but he somehow managed to fall off their radar yesterday. Jenks says the gang is a larger network than anyone had anticipated and that it's no easy task to track the leaders without being noticed." His normally smooth voice was rough with tension. "No progress on Andy's grandmother either, so even if we somehow managed to get him away from them, it's unlikely he'd accept the help."

I found myself in the unusual position of providing encouragement to Jasper. Usually he was my cheerleader, not the other way around. I fought my worry about where Andy might be and put hope and faith into my voice.

"Give it time, Jasper. Things will start falling into place." Placing my now empty mug on the desk, I stood up and climbed into his lap, letting our peace fall over us for a brief moment. He wrapped his hard arms around me and sighed into my neck.

Groaning, I forced myself to stand up. "Now how about giving me a ride to work, since it's your fault I'm late?" I suggested in a flirty tone. Usually Jasper walked me to work, but I knew he was going to head out hunting this morning, so I didn't feel bad asking.

He grabbed his keys from the tray on the desk and stood up. I turned to walk away when I felt him smack me smartly on the ass. "March that butt into the kitchen and grab one of those gross looking breakfast bars," he ordered. "Don't think I didn't notice you haven't eaten anything."

I just shook my ass at him and walked into the kitchen to grab a granola bar. I met Jasper at the front door and we held hands as we walked to the garage. Things had been really good between us during the week we'd been back from the cabin. I was making a conscious effort not to shut Jasper out, even when I was stressed over the Cullens wanting back into my life.

For the most part, I had been successful. When I did start to clam up, the memory of Jasper's face after I shut him out last weekend was enough to snap me out of it. I didn't want to be responsible for causing him pain, ever.

Before I knew it, Jasper was pulling the Porsche over in front of the bookstore. Unbuckling my seatbelt, I leaned over to give him a proper good bye kiss. "Thanks for the ride, Jas," I whispered as I pressed my mouth to his.

His hands reached up to gently frame my face as we kissed sweetly. "It was my pleasure to drive you to work, Bella. You can thank me for the ride after I give it to you tonight," he whispered back into my ear before pulling back from our embrace. He was giving me the sexiest smile I had ever seen and it was all I could do not to climb on top of him.

"Teasing isn't nice, Jasper," I scolded in a breathy voice, even as I moved to open my door.

He winked at me and kept smiling. "That wasn't a tease, that was a promise, Bella. Now go earn your paycheck, Sweets."

The sight of him smiling still left me breathless, so I took a minute to take it in before I got out of the car. I gave him a quick grin and blew a kiss at him as I walked away and into the store, noting with relief that I was actually right on time.

"Good morning, Bella," Madeline greeted me cheerfully as I hung my coat in our little staff room. I returned her greeting and we started planning our day. After we went over our game plan, I headed over to the coffee bar and started setting up for the morning. Madeline went to the front of the shop to start working on some new displays.

We had a steady stream of customers for an hour or so, but we hit a lull before the expected lunch crowd. I was crouched behind the coffee bar, cleaning out a cabinet and trying to rearrange the mugs and glasses to make things easier to reach. The door chimed as someone entered the store and I automatically began to stand to greet the customer, lifting a pile of dessert plates with me to put on the counter.

Before I was on my feet, the rapid sound of gunshots roared through my ears. Acting purely on instinct, I dropped to the ground and covered my head, ignoring the broken shards of glass around me. My lungs seized up and my heart pounded as I fought to control my panic. I knew without a doubt that whoever was shooting up the store was here to take me, and I needed to think clearly about how to help Jasper find me.

Praying desperately that Madeline was somehow okay, I ran through options as heavy footsteps approached me. Wincing as a piece of glass dug into my knee, I had an idea. The footsteps came closer, so I quickly grabbed a bigger piece of glass and sliced it across my right palm. The blood began to well immediately and I fought for control over my aversion to the sight.

Before I could plan my next move, the barrel of a gun touched my head as my assailant reached over the bar. "Stand up, Bitch," he ordered gruffly, and I quickly complied, keeping my head down. Blood dripped from my hand onto the wooden floor, the drips coinciding with the pounding of my heart.

"Hey Tony, she's bleeding already, and we ain't even got started," the unfamiliar voice shouted to the front of the store.

"Bring her up here, I want to take a good look," a gruff voice ordered. The gun wielding man in front of me waved his hand impatiently, indicating I should walk to the front.

"My hand," I choked out, holding it up to him. "Can I grab a towel, please?"

"Make it fast, Bitch," was the only answer he gave, so I grabbed a wad of paper towels on the counter as I followed him to the front of the store, vitally aware of the gun pressing into my back.

As I approached the front, the scent of fresh blood grew stronger. From the corner of my eye I saw a pool of crimson spreading from behind the register counter. My breaths became ragged as I fought my panic, and I forced myself not to look closer at the image of my kind hearted employer shot to pieces on the floor. There would be time to freak out and time to grieve after Jasper found me. I just had to keep myself together long enough for him to save me.

The walk to the front seemed to take hours, although it was literally only twenty steps from the coffee bar. My heart stuttered as I recognized the figure standing in the doorway, turning the open sign to read closed. Tony, the hot head who had tried to hit me at the club, turned to smile at me menacingly.

"Miss me, Bitch?" he snarled as he stomped over toward me.

"What do you want with me?" I asked hoarsely. I couldn't understand why these people had any interest in me.

"Your old roommate misses you," he sang out in a mocking tone. "He misses you so much that Alex decided it was time we made you pay poor Andy a visit, let him know you still care."

My heart sank at these words. I knew Andy would never intentionally bring me closer to the members of K2, so something else was going on.

Suddenly Tony began snapping his fingers impatiently. "Enough of this, Bitch. Now, you're going to follow me and Carlos here out to the car. You're not going to make a scene or yell for help, because if you do, I'm gonna shoot you in the head," he explained matter-of-factly. His eyes were hard and cold, and I saw the truth of his words written in them.

I nodded my head, surreptitiously checking to see if my hand was still bleeding. Sure enough, a small puddle had formed near my feet. More than enough for Jasper to see and smell. The pressure of the gun in my back spurred me forward into the cold air outside. I calmly crossed the sidewalk, sandwiched between the two thugs who had murdered my boss. People automatically moved out of our way, but no one noticed the weapon being held to me.

They steered me toward a black BMW sedan of some sort and I calmly slid into the back passenger seat, discreetly wiping my bleeding hand on the outside of the car as I did so. Tony got behind the wheel and Carlos joined me in the back. Looking out the window, I was relieved to see several drops of blood on the pavement outside the car. Now I just needed a way to keep my trail of breadcrumbs going as we drove.

Tony pulled the car out into traffic, honking and cursing at the cars in front of us. Swallowing my panic down, I pulled the towels away from my hand and moaned dramatically.

"Keep it down, you bitch," Tony snarled from the front seat.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, fighting tears. "The smell of blood just makes me really sick. Do you think I could have the window open? I really don't want to throw up in the car," I pleaded, trying to sound as if I were already gagging. "I'm not going to do anything stupid, I don't want to die. Just please let me open the window so I don't get sick."

"Do it Carlos, no way I want her puking in my car. Just remember, Bitch, his gun is on you. You try to get away, he's gonna shoot you in the head. No warnings."

Carlos immediately lowered the window, and I made a show of taking deep breaths as the cold air filled the car. "Thank you," I whispered quietly as I closed my eyes and slumped against the door frame, trying to keep my face in the fresh air. I quietly raised my bleeding hand to the door and draped it out of the window, wiggling my fingers trying to force as much blood out as possible.

I remained still for several moments before cracking my eyes to peak at my captors. Carlos was looking at his cell phone, his gun still absently pointed at me. Tony was driving, cursing at the traffic and paying little attention to the back seat. Grabbing the chance, I pulled a piece of blood soaked paper towel off of my hand and tossed it out the window.

Carlos looked up at the movement and narrowed his eyes at me. I quickly raised my good hand in appeasement. "I just thought if I put my hand out the window, it wouldn't smell so much," I babbled, waving both hands around frantically, hoping more blood was dripping onto the street as we moved. He seemed to buy it and made no further comment as he returned to playing with his phone.

I continued the process as we drove, squeezing blood and dropping soaked bits of paper towel as often as I could without being noticed. We continued north, heading deeper into Harlem before suddenly turning west toward the river. The neighborhood became sketchier, full of run-down apartment buildings crammed in next to abandoned brownstones and warehouses.

Tony parked the car in front of one of the buildings and he and Carlos opened their doors to get out. Tony jerked my door opened and yanked me out onto the sidewalk. He stared at my hand and then looked at the car door.

"You bled all over my car, Bitch. When Alex is done with you, I'm gonna kill you for that," he threatened in a horrifyingly calm voice. "Gimme that shit," he growled, grabbing at my makeshift bandage and throwing it on the ground in front of the car. "Carlos, park the car. Alex is waiting on us."

Tony grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me along the sidewalk toward the decrepit building. Every fiber of my body wanted to struggle against being taken inside, but I forced myself to cooperate. As we reached the building entrance I saw one last opportunity to help Jasper find me.

The concrete sidewalk had crumbled, leaving a large crater in front of the door. As Tony yanked my arm, I feigned a slip and fell forward into the doorway, reaching out with my bloody hand to catch myself. My captor growled and pulled my harshly into standing, but not before I took the chance to spread my blood along the dirty door frame, smiling grimly to myself as I prayed I would survive long enough to deal with the infection I was sure to get.

Tony dragged me up three flights of stairs as I continued to drag my bloody hand along every surface possible. We left the stairwell and he pushed me up against the first door in the hallway, raising his fist and pounding once.

The door opened immediately and another thug leered openly at me before looking up at Tony. "Pretty quick, T. Alex'll be happy. Go on in."

Tony just grunted as he shoved me in the door and into the dimly lit room. It appeared to be an abandoned apartment. There was a kitchen area, but other than a dirty sofa and a small table and chair set the room was unfurnished.

Panic welled inside me again as I registered that one of those chairs was occupied by Andy. He was slumped over forwards, held up only by the handcuffs restraining his arms behind his back. His face was a mess of bruises and his eyes were almost swollen shut. Forcing myself not to react, I made no sound as Tony forced me further into the room.

"Ah, back so soon, Tony, and successful on your mission as well." Alex's slick voice rang across the room as he strolled in, a menacing grin on his face. "Wake up, Andy. Your long lost friend has come to visit," he cooed as he approached Andy and pulled his face up by his shaggy hair.

Andy's eyes shot open as Alex pointed me out to him. "No, Alex, let her go, she has nothing to do with anything…" He was unable to finish his plea as Alex cruelly backhanded him across the face. "Shut up, Slut. Your little Izzy is here to remind you what happens to people who don't do what they're told."

Andy moaned and slumped over again, apparently losing consciousness. Alex let go of him and strolled over to where Tony held me. His icy eyes were empty of humanity, almost a blue version of James' crimson orbs.

"What do you want with me?" I whispered, full of confusion as to what this man's problem with me was.

"Well you see, my sweet Izzy, your pal here decided he didn't like hanging out with us anymore and figured he would just skip out on us. We don't play that way around here, so I sent Tony here to find him. Luckily for us, it wasn't too hard once Andy started craving hard. We taught him a little lesson about running out on your friends, but we're not sure he got the message. So, my lovely, you are here for two purposes," he purred, flashing me a wide smile. "I'm handing you over to Tony as a reward for finding our little lost boy here so quickly. He was so taken with you at the club, I know he'll appreciate the chance to get to know you much better."

Tony's grip on me tightened at those words and I fought the urge to throw up on Alex's shoes. "I'm gonna have so much fun with you, Bitch," Tony whispered into my ear. "I told you you'd beg for it, and today you will."

"Now, now, Tony. Make sure you don't get so excited that things end too early," Alex warned mildly. "Remember, our little Bitch's second job is to remind Andy that we own him. I'm sure watching you work over his little sweetheart will send that message clearly. If Tony leaves you in one piece, we'll pass you along to someone else. Who knows, maybe I'll even give you a try," he continued, leaning in to take my head between his hands.

"You're a dead man," I said quietly, looking him straight in the eyes. "It doesn't even matter what else you do to me, the second you touched me, you were a dead man."

He laughed heartily as he drew back his hand and slapped me across the cheek, causing me to see stars. "Are you referring to your blonde hero? He has no chance of finding you, and if he does, he has no chance of getting to you alive. I'm afraid if he comes after you, it'll just mean his death."

"You have no idea what he's capable of," I replied honestly. "If you're smart you'll put me in a cab and start running. It won't do any good, but it's your best chance."

"Delusional to the last," was his only reply as he walked over to Andy again, picking up a needle and a vial of clear liquid. He filled the syringe and tapped along Andy's restrained arms, looking for a vein.

"What are you giving him?" I demanded loudly. "Don't hurt him!" Alex ignored me as he found a patent vein and plunged the needle in. Andy moaned weakly and opened his eyes briefly as he fought to hold his head up.

"Just something to keep him relaxed while Tony's busy with you, my dear. He should stay conscious, but honestly, you never know. Tony, you'll just have to make sure things are nice and noisy so Andy remembers to pay attention."

Tony pulled me back against his body and I stiffened as I felt his erection in my back. "No problem, boss. I'll make sure she screams."

"No, don't fucking touch her! She never did anything, she doesn't deserve this!" Alex just smiled as he picked up a roll of duct tape.

"Hush," he reprimanded gently as he taped Andy's mouth shut, muffling his ongoing screams. My heart broke for him as his eyes continued to beg Alex for my freedom.

"Enjoy, Tony. Good work brining both of them in."

With that Alex walked out the door, motioning to the other thug to follow him. I heard him speak briefly to someone in the hallway and realized Carlos was probably guarding the door. I didn't have long to ponder the thought before Tony shoved me harshly away from him.

Channeling my panic into desperate determination, I turned to face him. I knew I had no hope of stopping him from hurting me, but I vowed to inflict as much damage as possible. He must have read my expression as he began to taunt me.

"Go ahead, Bitch. I love it when a girl fights back. It makes me even harder," he gloated as he advanced on me. He pulled his hand back and I watched in slow motion as it flew at me, striking me on the side of the head. The pain shot through my entire skull as I slumped sideways from the impact. Tony leaned in closer as I carefully clenched my fist.

I rapidly turned myself to face him and punched him across the bridge of his nose with everything I had. He howled in pain and outrage and I took the opportunity to jam my knuckles into his eye socket before I sprang up and ran toward the door.

I was unsurprised when I felt his hands on my ankles, dragging me back toward him. "You're gonna pay for that, Bitch," he snarled as he stood up to tower over me. I saw him draw his leg back and I closed my eyes. The impact of his foot into my abdomen forced a scream from me.

My thoughts were foggy from the pain, but I vaguely registered the sounds of Andy moaning in the background. Tony's revenge continued as he punched and kicked me repeatedly. I instinctively curled into a ball as I struggled to remain conscious. I had to fight to stay alive until Jasper found me. I knew he would come for me, I just needed to hang on.

I realized the blows had temporarily ceased as Tony pulled me into a standing position. My legs wobbled and I gasped from the pain of standing. I looked over and noticed that Andy appeared to be unconscious. "Not much of a fighter after all, are you?" he asked coldly.

Saving my energy, I made no answer as I forced my limbs to cooperate. He leaned over me and I seized the opportunity to knee him hard in the balls. He doubled over and screamed in pain, releasing me in the process. I stumbled forward and again tried to make my way to the door. I felt him grab me and pull me back upright.

As he slammed me into the wall, I noticed the door opening out of the corner of my eye. He also noticed the motion and let me go. I slid to the floor, fighting to raise my head to see what was happening. A blur of motion confused my eyes before Tony's limp body fell to the floor with a loud thud. A heartbeat later, Jasper's black eyes stared down into mine as his hands quickly roamed my body, scanning for damage.

"Knew you'd come," I whispered as my eyes drifted closed.

"I'm here, Baby. Now stay with me," he ordered firmly. "Open your eyes, Bella and tell me where you're hurt."

I dragged my eyelids open as I wryly answered. "Everywhere, Jasper." I felt his cool lips against my forehead and smiled as relief that he was here washed over me.

Remembering Andy, I gasped as I tried to sit up. "Andy, Jasper. They shot him up with something and he's unconscious!"

"Easy, Sweetheart," Jasper murmured as he eased me back to the floor. "His heartbeat is strong, and I have someone coming to help him." I absently noticed him pull his Blackberry out and start dialing. "He'll be fine, but I need to get you to the hospital," he continued before beginning to rapidly bark orders into the phone.

I zoned out for a few minutes, my eyes open but not really seeing as I fought to stay awake. "I have to pick you up now, Baby. I'm so sorry, but it's going to hurt." Jasper's soft voice focused me and I nodded weakly, reaching up to run my hand across his worried face.

I was unable to stifle my moan as he smoothly picked me up and carried me out of the apartment and out to his car. He was very gentle as he laid me in the passenger seat, but every movement caused exquisite pain in my head and my lower ribs.

"Hang on, Baby," he said urgently as he buckled me in. His eyes were still black and I realized he hadn't been able to hunt before coming to my rescue.

I smiled weakly at him, hating that he was worrying about me. He quickly got into the car and started the engine. The ride to the hospital was a blur. I heard his voice talking to me and into his phone, but I was unable to reply. I moaned as I felt him move me from the car and into the bright lights of the emergency room.

I heard the loud voices around me as people shot questions and answers back and forth across me. I grabbed desperately for Jasper's hand, fighting when the doctors tried to separate us. The last thing I saw before my eyes closed was Jasper's beautiful face etched in worry as he tried to convince the staff to let him stay.

"Don't leave me," I whispered as everything grew dim.

**JPOV**

I watched Bella enter the bookstore before I pulled the car back into traffic. My plan was to go hunting in New Jersey since it had been three days since my last meal, but I had a stop to make first. I was relieved that my thirst hadn't been an issue since Bella and I had started having sex. I was able to go back to my normal hunting schedule of every three days without having any lapses in control. It was as if I craved her body so much that my craving for blood didn't even register.

Arriving at my destination, I parked the car on the street, absently thinking I was having a lucky day to get a spot. I walked into the Apple store and got to work. I had noticed how much fun Bella had dancing around in the car on the first half of our trip home last week, and I wanted her to have music around whenever she wanted.

An hour later I left the store with two of the newest iTouch players and every imaginable accessory, plus a docking station for the apartment. I knew Bella would be mad about the cost, but if she got pissy I could always keep the other stuff back until she got used to having the iPod.

I got in the car and headed toward the George Washington Bridge, wanting to hunt quickly so I could get home and set up an iTunes account for Bella and myself. Traffic was heavy on the bridge due to a wreck, so it took me longer than I had hoped to cross into Jersey.

I used the time in the traffic jam to call the building manager of my apartment and ask him to drop off Bella's box that afternoon. I was still worried about her reaction to its contents, but I knew keeping it from her any longer was dishonest. Fighting my fears that she would shut down again, I told myself that if she pulled back I would just hold on. I was determined to live up to Bella's faith in me.

All of the sudden, I was struck by a feeling of extreme unease, a sensation that something was very wrong. Fear for Bella hit me like a jolt of electricity and I immediately took the next exit to U-turn as my cell phone rang. Hoping it was Bella I hit send without looking at it. I didn't even get a chance to answer before I heard Peter's voice cutting urgently through the phone.

"Go back to her right now, Jasper!" he ordered without preamble, confirming my dread that Bella was in trouble.

"What else can you tell me?" I shot back. Peter's intuition was strong, but often incomplete. I wanted every detail I could get so I could plan.

"I just know someone has your girl, that's all I can tell you," he replied in a frustrated tone. "I'll call if I pick up on anything else. We're still in Russia, so I can't get there to help, but Char and I will start making our way over there. Call me when you get her."

He hung up without another word and I focused on using every vampire skill I possessed to get to Bella as soon as possible. Weaving expertly in and out of traffic, I made good time back into the city. I finally approached the bookstore, again getting a lucky street spot.

As soon as I exited the car, I picked up the scent of Bella's sweet blood. It wasn't strong, but it was there. Fighting dread, I rushed into the store, noticing the sign had been turned to "Closed" even though I knew the shop was open at this time.

The scent of a large amount of spilled blood washed over me, but I was grateful to realize it wasn't Bella's. I registered the body of Bella's employer behind the counter as I scanned the rest of the store for clues. Reaching for my phone, I dialed Jenks.

He answered immediately and I filled him in on the situation.

"I'm assuming it's K2, the other people threatening her wouldn't use guns," I explained to him. "Find out everything your team knows about activity today."

He agreed and I could hear him speaking into another phone as I continued to speak. I noticed Bella's purse and coat hanging on a hook, so I picked them both up, inhaling her scent as I did so.

"I also need a team over here at the bookstore. I want every trace of Bella gone from this place, employment records, fingerprints, everything, Jenks. The cops are going to show up here eventually, and I don't want them anywhere near her."

He assured me it would be taken care of and I hung up to start looking for clues about where Bella had been taken. I picked up the scent of her blood strongly as I neared the coffee bar, and noted a small puddle had formed near a stack of broken crockery. Forcing my vampire sense of smell to narrow down onto Bella's blood, I tracked the trail of little drops to the front of the store.

Sadly, I made my way over to the remains of the kind woman who had hired Bella, removing the keys from the chain around her neck. I hated that my actions would delay the discovery of her body, but I needed time before the police became involved. I hoped that Madeline would have understood my need to protect Bella.

I exited the store, locking the door behind me and tossing the keys into a nearby garbage can. I smelled Bella's blood again, and noticed another small pool of drying blood on the sidewalk. I closed my eyes, focusing every ounce of concentration on my sense of smell. The many odors of the city surrounded me, and I slowly sifted through them, turning my body slowly as I tried to pick up the scent of Bella.

As I faced north, I got a distinct whiff of her. I walked quickly in that direction for several blocks, filled with relief as I realized the scent was still strong. I even noticed that there were small droplets of her blood on the street every so often. My smart girl was leaving me a trail.

I walked quickly back to my car and got in, giving myself a minute to locate her scent again. I opened the windows and pulled out onto the street. Her scent led me further north up into Harlem, before turning west into a slummy neighborhood near the river.

I drove slowly down the streets, stopping briefly in front of a building where I smelled Bella's blood the strongest. There were no people in front, but I felt sure that this was where she was being held captive. My phone rang as I parked the car in an alley nearby.

"Wherever you are is the right place," Peter's voice rang out. "Get a move on, she's hurt."

"Thanks," I shot back as I hung up and ran back to the building. I smelled Bella strongly at the doorway and noticed a smear of blood on the door frame. _So smart, so brave, _I thought to myself as I followed the trail up the stairs.

I heard a heartbeat as I approached the door leading into the hallway. Pushing out a strong wave of complacency and lethargy, I opened to door and walked toward the thug guarding the door. Befuddled by my ability, he didn't even raise his weapon at me as I approached.

"How many are in there with her," I demanded as I grabbed him by the throat, continuing to drown him with lethargy. His eyes began to droop, but he managed to answer that Tony was alone with the girl and the junkie.

Before he lost consciousness completely, I withdrew my emotions from him, enjoying the sight of his eyes dilating in fear. Fighting my urge to torture anyone responsible for hurting Bella, I snapped his neck cleanly before I broke through the door, taking in the sight before me.

Bella was crumpled on the floor near the wall. Tony was leaning over her as he unfastened his fly, violence and lust pouring out of him. Rage flared through me as I realized he was planning on raping her. Unleashed by my anger, my bloodlust broke through. Using vampire speed, I was on him before he knew I was there.

Lifting him by the throat, I looked into his sick eyes, reveling in the fear he was now feeling. I wanted his blood, and I could already taste it in my mouth. My jaws opened, but suddenly the image of Bella looking into my red eyes stopped me. I could imagine it clearly, her expression full of sad forgiveness. Forcing myself to be strong for her, I jerked my hand, breaking his neck and killing him instantly, before I tossed him to the floor.

I rushed to Bella's side, feeling her tiny body for obvious broken bones. Relief washed over me as she opened her eyes and spoke to me, telling me she knew I'd come for her. Her face was bruised and she was clearly fighting to stay conscious. I felt no other injuries to her limbs, but I was worried about internal bleeding.

She struggled to sit as she worried about Andy. I vaguely registered that his heart was beating and reassured her that he would be fine. I pulled out my phone and dialed Jenks.

"I have her," I said quickly. "I need another clean up team at this location. Two dead bodies, just make them disappear. Remove all traces of Bella from the premises, especially the blood stains. Good news is that Andy's here too, but he's been injected with some unknown drug and is completely out. I want him transported to a safe place so he can detox. Call in a nurse to monitor him while he dries out. Keep him comfortable but don't let him go until you hear from me. I have to get Bella to the hospital now, update me on your progress."

I ended the call without waiting for a reply, knowing he would follow every order. I leaned over Bella and prepared to pick her up, dreading the pain I was about to cause. "I have to pick you up now, Baby. I'm so sorry, but it's going to hurt."

She reached up and touched my face, trying to reassure me even as she suffered. She groaned weakly as I picked her up, and my cold heart tightened in my chest. She made no other sounds as I carried her quickly to the car, bravely fighting the pain she was in. I drove quickly to the nearest hospital, talking to her all the while. She mumbled vaguely back, but she was clearly fading. I parked at the ER entrance and carried her inside.

The staff members were on us instantaneously, lifting her onto a stretcher and wheeling her to an exam room. I kept a tight hold on her hand, despite several attempts to separate us. The doctors shot questions at me, and I quickly made up my lies to answer them.

"I found her like this at her old roommate's place. I don't know who did it. Yes, she was conscious when I got there, but she's been fading in and out." I projected trust and sympathy onto all of them, realizing I was a prime domestic violence suspect. I continued answering stupid questions about her health history, forcing my frustration down and letting them do their jobs.

"We need to take her for x-rays now, Mr. Whitlock," one of the interns finally said. "You can't go with her to x-ray, you'll have to wait here."

At those words, Bella's eyes flew open and she clenched my hand. "Don't leave me," she begged urgently.

"Just let me walk there with her and wait outside," I begged. "She's so scared; she needs to know where I am."

"I'm sorry Sir, but that's just not possible due to the risk of radiation exposure."

Bella began struggling to sit up as she heard the answer, crying out as the movement caused her more pain. The nurses and doctors moved to restrain her and began pulling her hand away from mine. Unwilling to allow her to hurt herself further, I quickly pushed her into unconsciousness with a heavy wave of lethargy.

As her fingers slipped from mine, fear for her condition swept over me. The staff members led me out to the waiting room. My phone rang and I answered it, glad to have something to focus on.

"She'll be okay, and so will you," Peter said cryptically before hanging up on me.

Puzzled at his words, I stared at the phone for several seconds before it rang again, showing Jenks' number on the screen. He reported that both clean up operations were underway, and that Andy was currently being moved to a safe place. The team was regrouping with plans to increase their surveillance efforts on the gang. I filed that information for later, knowing I would be making my own plans for retribution against Alex and his "friends."

"How's the girl?" he asked hesitantly, concern heavy in his voice. I smiled at the thought that Bella had wormed her way into Jenks' heart without ever having been in a room with him.

"Having x-rays right now, but I think she'll be okay," I replied in a tired voice. My vampire body felt no fatigue, but my mind and heart were heavy with the events of the day. I thanked Jenks for his assistance and hung up. I began to count the seconds as I waited for Bella to come back, barely registering that my throat was beginning to burn slightly.

I forced the thoughts about my thirst away, knowing I wasn't going anywhere until I knew for a fact that Bella was healthy and safe. She would not be leaving my side until I knew K2 was no longer a threat. I passed the time by sifting through different ideas to neutralize the fuckers who had hurt my Bella.

Someone brought me paperwork to fill out about her ability to pay for her treatment since she was uninsured. I filled it out, frustrated that they wanted her money before they even knew what was wrong with her. I realized I would need Jenks to build her another identity now that Bella Sanders was on the record as being treated for violent injuries at a hospital. It was unlikely the police would connect it to anything, but I didn't want to risk exposing her to Victoria's attention.

"Mr. Whitlock, you can come back now," a young nurse said politely from the doorway.

I had to force myself to walk at a human pace to get back to Bella. My unnecessary breath caught as I looked at her little body unconscious on the stretcher. She looked so small and frail, her pale skin marred by bruises. She had IV lines in both arms and an oxygen mask over her face.

"She's heavily sedated right now," the doctor explained as I stepped into the room. "She started struggling as soon as we left the ER, so we had to give her something to put her under."

"How bad is she hurt?" I asked quietly as I picked up her limp little hand. Our peace flowed over us and I closed my eyes for a moment to listen to her heart beat and reassure myself that she was still with me.

"Her most serious injury is a hairline skull fracture on her temporal bone, so we're watching for bleeding in her brain. She also has a small contusion to her liver, so we're monitoring her liver enzymes and will be doing more tests to make sure she doesn't develop internal bleeding. Her ribs aren't fractured, just bruised. Oh, and we had to stitch up the laceration on her palm."

"When will she wake up?" I asked, hoping he would be able to give me an answer.

"Hopefully within twelve hours or so. The sedative should be worn off by then, although her liver may not process it as quickly since it's so banged up. We'll be doing neuro checks every hour to make sure she doesn't show signs of brain injury. Other than that, we just wait for her body to heal enough to let her wake up."

"Thank you," I murmured absently as I ran my finger through her tangled hair.

"They'll send someone down to transfer her once they have a room open up on a unit. Let the nurses know if you need anything," the doctor said in a kind voice.

I nodded my head as he left the room and moved a chair over to sit next to Bella's stretcher. Lying my head down next to her arm, I inhaled her sweet scent, feeling relief from the burning in my throat as I did so. The thought of my thirst troubled me, but I was still unwilling to leave her to hunt. I was still in control, and touching Bella took away the worst of the discomfort.

Hours later, we were finally transferred to a real room. After the initial flurry of activity, the staff pretty much left me alone, so I sat and held her hand, counting her steady breaths. Every once in awhile she would moan faintly, but she never opened her eyes.

A social worker came in and asked me a barrage of questions, clearly looking for signs of abuse. I projected all of my trustworthiness at her, and she finally seemed satisfied. Two police detectives interviewed me briefly, but they seemed to accept my story. They told me to expect them back after she woke up so they could take her statement.

A nurse asked me to leave when visiting hours were over, but I shot her all of my charm and sympathy, and she allowed me to stay. I clung tight to Bella's hand, fighting my growing thirst. The scent of blood from hundreds of injections and IV lines was everywhere. The scent of the busy little humans scurrying around doing their jobs wafted around me. The peace from Bella's touch and her sweet scent was the only thing holding me back from a total loss of control in this highly populated and tightly monitored building.

I feigned sleep when the staff checked on Bella. Listening to their hushed conversations, I learned that Bella's condition was stable, but that they were surprised she still wasn't conscious. They planned to do another head CT if she wasn't awake by tomorrow afternoon.

Clenching my free hand into a fist, I hoped that she would wake soon. I couldn't leave her until I knew she was okay, but my need to hunt was only getting worse. If I was the same vampire I had been in Forks, I wouldn't have been able to resist the urge to drain every human who approached me. I was thankful that I had worked so hard on my tolerance since I had left the Cullens.

I forced myself to stop breathing and pressed my forehead against Bella's limp palm. I listened to the sound of her pulse and used it to focus myself on fighting my thirst. I forced myself into a trance-like state, only vaguely aware of the activity around me. I actually jumped when the new nurse came in to introduce herself.

"Are you okay, honey?" the middle aged nurse asked. "Have you eaten anything? You have to take care of yourself, we're taking care of her," she advised as she moved over to check on Bella.

"I'm okay, just tired," I whispered hoarsely, forcing my limbs to remain where they were. I would not attack this woman whose job it was to help Bella. I repeated the words to myself as she completed her assessment.

"Look at that," she announced cheerfully. "Her eyelids are fluttering a little. I bet she's awake before too long."

_Please be right,_ I said to myself as I nodded absently at her retreating figure. I settled back to my previous position and tried to zone out again. Never before had I had to endure thirst like this while surrounded by humans. In my first life as a vampire, I had fed at will, rarely experiencing the sensation of thirst as I helped Maria carry out her violent agenda. Even after joining the Cullens, I had always been able to remove myself from temptation when the blood lust took over. My slip ups over the years had always been stupid accidents when a random human would cross my path while on my way to hunt an animal.

More hours passed, and I noticed that Bella was moaning more frequently. Occasionally her fingers would twitch in my grasp, and I started whispering her name over and over under my breath. "Bella, Bella, Bella,"I murmured, too quietly for anyone to hear. I laid my head down beside her again, grasping at my unraveling control.

Suddenly, her tiny hand grasped mine tightly. I immediately raised my head to look into her beautiful brown eyes. "Shit, Jasper, your eyes," she gasped as she began to sit herself up. "We've got to get you out of here," she stated as she reached for the call button, grimacing as she moved.

I couldn't reply, the combination of relief at hearing her voice and my need to feed robbing me of the ability to speak. I moaned quietly as I pressed a kiss onto her hand. She reached up to touch my face and smiled gently at me. "Don't worry, Jasper. I'm here, you'll be okay."

**AN- I have to tell you all that the hospital scene is one of the very first situations I dreamed up between these two. Getting them here has been quite a ride, so I really hope you guys like it! **

**I ain't to proud to beg, I actually got fewer reviews after the lemon last week **** The reviews I got were all positive (thank you!) but there weren't as many as for the last few chapters. I'm sorry if it seemed like I abandoned the storyline for the smut, but it's just where it seemed to fit in naturally. It really isn't all about the numbers, I just love hearing what you people think and having the chance to chat back and forth about it! **

**Thanks for reading!**

**heavyinfinity**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN-I'm so sorry this is a little late! My RL last week included my husband's birthday, Father's Day, a sex toy party and a trip to Hershey Park! Sex and candy anyone? Thanks for being patient! ;***

**Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. BUT… I totally own a Jasper action figure! Sigh, I'm thinking about trying to rip his head off and put it on the body of the Edward Eclipse action figure with the biker outfit. Jasper doesn't really do cashmere sweaters.**

**Speaking of owning, Mynxi totally owns me. She's my beta, and I really put her to work at the beginning of this chapter! Sorry Baby, thanks for fixing all my booboos!**

Chapter Fifteen

**BPOV**

The first thing I became aware of was that annoying beeping sound that always seems to be present in hospitals. That thought immediately led me to remember how I had ended up in the hospital, which caused me to become aware of the pain radiating throughout my body. Everything hurt, and I mean literally everything. I noticed the cool sensation over my right hand and realized Jasper must be holding onto me.

I clenched my teeth and opened my eyes, wincing at the harsh lights. Jasper was indeed holding my hand, leaning forward onto the bed with his face pressed into the mattress near my arm. I was surprised that he didn't immediately react when I opened my eyes. My foggy brain slipped into gear, and I noticed he was murmuring something in a low tone. Gradually I realized that it was my name being repeated over and over again.

The knowledge that something was very wrong washed over me and I clenched his hand tightly with mine. He immediately looked up at me and I gasped as I took in his face. His eyes were pitch black, the skin under them almost bruised looking. I remembered Jessica Stanley once describing him as looking like he was in pain back at Forks High, and the man beside me fit her description aptly.

He didn't speak, but his face told me everything I needed to know. Desperation and fear were written all over him as he fought his thirst.

"Shit, Jasper, your eyes," I gasped as I began to move toward him. Fighting the pain, I reached for the button to call the nurse. "We've got to get you out of here," I stated, forcing myself to remain calm. I seemed to be in one piece, but something told me that getting out of here was going to be a battle. As I spoke, he moaned softly and pressed a soft kiss into my palm.

My heart broke for him as I could literally see how much he was hurting and how hard he was fighting his urge to feed. I reached up with my free hand to touch his face.

"Don't worry, Jasper. I'm here, you'll be okay," I said, pouring faith into every word. "We can do this." He closed his eyes and pressed his face into my hand. Hoping it would help, I centered myself and tried to project my faith in him toward him. He made no observable reaction, but I felt better for at least trying to ease his pain. My mind raced as I pushed the call button again impatiently.

Finally responding to my call, the nurse walked into the room, beaming a smile at me as she entered. "Glad you decided to join us, you had your fella here worried," she said happily as she approached me and started messing with my IV. "How are you feeling?"

Jasper literally froze during her approach and I could see it was taking all of his will not to attack her. Forcing myself to remain calm and in control, I answered quickly. "I feel good thank you. Before you get too busy with all this stuff," I began, motioning at the IV pole, "I'm going to need you to start the process for discharging me immediately."

Her eyes widened at my words and she began to shake her head. "Now Miss Sanders, you have to realize you've been seriously injured and unconscious for more than twelve hours. The doctors are going to insist that you be monitored for at least another day before you go home."

"Believe me, I do appreciate the fact that I have had the shit kicked out of me," I responded in an even tone. "However, that doesn't change the fact that I want to be discharged, as is my right. I know you're just trying to do your job, but right now, you need to get the ball rolling if you want me to wait around to fill out the 'Against Medical Advice' paperwork."

"Miss Sanders, I can't do any of that without orders from your doctor," she answered in a disapproving tone. She darted her eyes over to Jasper who was still pressing my hand to his face. "Does this have anything to do with the fact that your boyfriend is jonesin' for something? Because if it does, then he needs to go do what he needs to do and let us take care of you here."

Jasper opened his eyes at her words and looked at me. "She's right Bella, you're hurt and you need to stay here to let them take care of you." His voice was a hoarse whisper, almost unrecognizable from the smooth baritone I was accustomed to.

Turning back to the nurse who was still glaring at Jasper, I spoke sharply. "The man you are looking at saved my life and he is not a drug addict. I will be leaving this hospital within this hour. If you want me to do it by the book, you'd better get on the phone with the doctors," I suggested, raising one eyebrow as I began to sit up.

The pain of moving almost cut me in two, but I forced myself not to gasp. Getting Jasper out of here in time would require me to convince both him and the hospital staff that I was in better shape than I was. I managed to sit up and get my legs over the edge of the bed, placing myself so that Jasper's head was resting next to my thigh. I rubbed my hands through his hair, trying to comfort him in any way I could.

The nurse glared at Jasper once more before sighing and stalking out of the room. Jasper raised his head as she exited the room. "I know you're hurting, Bella," he whispered. "I heard your heart pound as you moved. I can't let you hurt yourself by leaving here."

"Jasper, I don't think we realistically have a choice. Correct me if I'm wrong, but based on the way you look, the only thing holding you back right now is our little touchy-feely thing. We need to get you out of here and you need to feed. I'm quite certain I can survive that long without medical supervision," I huffed. "I admit it, I hurt, but I can hurt anywhere. I don't need to stay in the hospital to feel better."

I was interrupted by Jasper clenching my hand tightly as a parade of doctors entering the room. For once I was glad of all of my previous hospital experience. At least I knew the routine. Hopefully it would be enough to get me out of here in time to prevent Jasper from losing it. The sight of his normally flawless face etched in pain was my motivation to keep calm and do what I needed to do.

The first doctor began to speak. "Miss Sanders, your nurse tells us you're demanding to be discharged today?" he asked in a patronizing tone.

"Yes, that's correct," I replied smoothly. "The sooner, the better."

He looked down at his clipboard as he spoke. "I strongly advise against you leaving here today. You have a small skull fracture which means bruising of your brain is possible. You need to be monitored for neurological changes. You also have a bruised liver which could begin to bleed with even the smallest trauma. You really need several more days of observation before we can agree to discharge you."

Jasper raised his head up to look at me. "Bella, you need to stay. I can't risk anything happening to you because of me." Determination filled his words despite his weak voice, and I knew I had to convince him that leaving wouldn't harm me. My stomach sank as I realized what I had to do.

Looking into his eyes, I uttered words I never dreamed I would say. "We'll go to Carlisle, Jasper. We'll drive straight there, you can eat on the way," I said firmly. "He can check me out, reassure you that I'm likely to survive the next twenty four hours and we can come back and follow up with the doctors on an outpatient basis."

He looked shocked at my words. "I would do _anything_ to help you, including seeing your family," I said gently. He nodded slowly and I began to hope that he would agree to my plan.

I switched my attention to the dream team of residents who were gaping at us. "Okay, boys. From here, we'll drive directly to his father, who just happens to be a very experienced doctor. He'll be more than capable of 'monitoring' me."

"I strongly disagree with this," the head doctor said as he shook his head.

Finally reaching my limit, I interrupted him rudely. "Yes, you've made that clear. That's why they call it 'against medical advice' I suppose. Now please save us both some aggravation and get me whatever paper I need to sign to leave."

All three of the doctors seemed to huff at once as they left the room without a word, hopefully to get started on my paperwork. The next task on my list was to get dressed. "Any idea if my clothes survived the ER?" I asked gently, unsure if Jasper was up to helping with this.

His face relaxed a little after the doctors left and he even attempted a small smile as he nodded yes. He shifted slightly away from me to reach into the dresser drawer. I was relieved to see my t-shirt and jeans appeared to be in one piece and free of bloodstains.

"I haven't seen your shoes though," Jasper said softly.

"It's okay, this is enough to get me out of this place. We can take care of anything else after you hunt. Hand me my jeans so I can get this show on the road," I ordered.

He yanked the privacy curtain around us, and I began the painful process of getting my jeans on. Jasper helped me silently, his expression bleak as I struggled to hide my discomfort from him.

"I'm okay, Baby. It hurts, but I'm okay," I said in a low voice. Before I could continue reassuring him, the nurse walked in and parted the curtain. Jasper froze again and I wrapped my arms around him and pressed his face into my body, hoping my scent was soothing rather than tempting.

"I'm no fan of this idea of yours, but there's nothing I can do to stop you," she began brusquely. "I'm here to disconnect your lines and give you this," she continued, holding up a small plastic cup with two pills in it. "It's for the pain. I know you're hurting and this will take the edge off. It might make you a little drowsy, but it shouldn't knock you out."

"Thank you," I said quietly, hoping she could tell how grateful I really was. I knew she wasn't required to give me meds before I walked out AMA. It was a testament to her character that she was still taking care of me even as I ignored her advice. I picked up one of the pills and swallowed it down before pocketing the second pill.

"I'll pretend I didn't see that," she said in a sour voice, glaring at Jasper while she disconnected the lines and monitors I was attached to.

"For the last time, he is _not_ on drugs! I'm very sensitive to narcotics and I need to be alert right now. I'll save the other one for later, end of story," I shot back.

"I've heard it all before, Honey," she said sadly as she walked out of the room.

Her departure was followed by the appearance of the youngest resident with my paperwork. I could tell he wasn't happy, but at least he didn't give me a sermon while I signed the papers relieving the hospital of responsibility if I suffered negative consequences for leaving against the doctors' orders. He handed me a giant package of discharge instructions and reinforced the need for follow up care. I promised to do everything as directed, and at last he was gone.

Jasper slowly raised his head and looked at me. "Okay, Baby, let's get you out of here," I said softly.

"Bella," he began in a broken voice, "I don't know if I can. I don't think I'm strong enough to walk through all those humans, and I can't risk losing control while you're with me. If I kill someone publicly, it won't go unpunished by the Volturi, and I can't have you exposed to them."

"Jasper, you can do this, end of story. Failure is not an option, so we just won't fail. No vampire cops will be required."

He looked at me in quiet desperation. "How, Bella? It was all I could do not to drain them one at a time in this room. How am I gonna walk through the halls full of them?"

"You don't have to do it alone. I'm going to be right there with you." I said simply. "I don't have my shoes, and I detest wheelchairs, so I need you to carry me out. I'll be wrapped all around you, my scent and my skin right next to you. We can do this together, Jasper. Nobody is dying today. Well, at least nobody is dying because of you," I amended with a short smile. "We are in a hospital after all. I'm sure somebody in here is dying."

The beginnings of a smile crossed his lips at my awful attempt at gallows humor. "Enough pussy footing," I said briskly. "Get me out here, Whitlock," I ordered, softening my words with a gentle kiss to his lips. "We can do this," I repeated, pushing faith at him with all my might.

He cupped my face gently with his hands before effortlessly lifting me into his arms. "Don't breathe," I reminded him as he walked us out of the room. He moaned quietly as we entered the busy hallway full of humans. I curled myself around him and pulled his face down toward my neck, relying on his vampire ability to walk without seeing where he was going.

"You're doing fine," I assured him as he strode quickly down the hall toward the elevator bank. "Take the stairs," I directed unnecessarily, just hoping my voice was helping him to stay centered. As we neared the door, a group of doctors walked briskly around the corner, talking animatedly amongst themselves.

"Bella," he moaned desperately, his steps slowing as he fought his urge to stalk them.

"Keep going, Jasper," I ordered him. "It will be better in the stairwell. You're stronger than this, you can do it." I projected peace at him and ran my fingers through his hair, trying to bring him back to me.

For an eternal second I felt him struggle with himself before he finally began to move away from them. "For you," he whispered as he increased his pace and walked us into the stairwell. He used vampire speed to get us down the steps and onto the first floor. Noticing a glimpse of red as we moved, I had a flash of brilliance.

"Take the emergency exit straight ahead," I said calmly. "We'll be outside then." He complied wordlessly and I shivered as the cold air met my thin t-shirt. He seemed to relax slightly in the fresh air as he walked quickly toward the parking garage.

It was late afternoon and apparently shift change was happening at the hospital, as a steady stream of people in scrubs was coming out of the garage. "Almost there, Jasper," I soothed as I felt his arms tense again. "You can do it, just keep walking us to the car."

As we passed the last worker, he broke into a vampire run, and the cars became a blur as we passed them. I was sure there were security cameras around, but hopefully no one would be able to decipher the high speed flash, if anyone was even watching.

I sighed in relief as Jasper slowed and I spotted the Porsche in front of us. "I don't think I can let you go, Bella," Jasper whispered hoarsely as we approached the car. I realized he was worried about losing contact with me after getting me into the car.

"Lift me in through the driver's side. You can hold my hand while I climb over," I replied. Before I could worry about how bad it would hurt, he opened the driver's side door and climbed in with me on his lap. He rested his head against mine for a minute, almost as if he was catching his breath.

I pressed kisses along his cheek. "I'm so proud of you," I whispered as I ran my fingers through his hair. He raised his head and kissed my forehead before gently lifting me over the center console and into the passenger seat. I held tightly to his hand as he reached across to fasten my seatbelt.

"Okay, we made it out of the hospital. Now just get us out of Manhattan," I sighed. He was quiet as he turned the ignition and backed the car out of the parking spot. His hands were clenched around the steering wheel as he exited the garage and pulled out onto the street.

We had good luck with traffic until we hit the George Washington Bridge, where we came to a standstill halfway across the span. We were packed in tightly with other cars and I noticed Jasper was almost humming with tension again.

"Still with me?" I asked softly, laying my free hand on top of his. His only answer was a short nod. His eyes were closed, the purple skin below them standing out against his pale face. He wasn't breathing and I could tell he was really struggling.

Unable to tolerate doing nothing while he suffered, I unfastened my seatbelt and slowly lifted myself over the center console to sit on his lap, wincing as I moved. His eyes opened as he realized I was moving and he quickly assisted me into place. I pulled his head down to me and started running my hands from his head down his back.

"You're doing fine. Just a little longer. You're so strong. I'm so sorry you're hurting. I'm so proud of you." I murmured words of comfort over and over as I stroked his back, thankful that the tinted windows blocked what was surely a suspicious scene from the other vehicles. He locked his hands together around my waist, holding me tightly to him.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," he chanted, so quietly I could barely hear him. I continued whispering back at him and touching him everywhere I could, trying to wrap him in comfort as he fought for control. I looked out the windshield every ten seconds, hoping to see progress in front of us. Finally I saw brake lights flickering as drivers began to ease forward.

"It's moving, Baby. You're gonna be fine," I said softly as I shifted to climb back over the console and into my seat.

"Stay where you are," he said hoarsely as he put the car in gear and we moved slowly forward. I settled back against him, just moving my head to allow him to see past me.

"Make sure you don't get a ticket," I reminded, fearful of the disastrous outcome that could mean for an innocent state trooper. He nodded tensely, but that didn't stop him from flooring it as soon as the cars ahead of us opened up. He literally flew the Porsche down the highway, and a little over a half hour later, he pulled into a small state park.

The parking lot was deserted as he pulled into a spot. He lifted me gently back into the passenger seat but kept hold of my hand. "I don't want to leave you," he said, the words sounding forced and broken.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine here. Go hunt. I'll be here when you get back," I said, pushing love at him as he leaned back. In a flash, he opened the car door and stood, tossing his cell phone lightly onto his seat. By the time the car door was shut, he was gone from my sight.

"I love you," I called softly out to him, knowing he would hear me. I knew his physical pain would soon be taken care of, but the bleakness in his eyes worried me. I knew he was feeling guilty about letting me leave the hospital to help him, and I was worried it would take a while for him to get past that.

I tapped the button to lock the doors and settled myself back in the seat, trying to get comfortable. Amazingly, my bruised body relaxed enough to allow me to fall into a restless sleep, my dreams full of Jasper's desperate eyes. I was jarred awake by the sound of Jasper's phone ringing. Fighting my drowsiness, I answered without looking at the number.

"Hello?" I mumbled groggily.

"Well, hello to you too, Darlin'," a cheerful voice drawled out. "This is Peter, and I'm guessin' I have the pleasure of speakin' to Jasper's new girl."

I opened my mouth to respond, but he spoke again. "Now I'm not gonna keep you long, 'cause he'll be back soon and he's not ready to talk to me yet." My tired head spun at the strange conversation. "I'm just callin' to tell you to hold on to him. He's gonna try to beat himself up, but as long as you just hold on, it'll be fine. Time to go for now, but I'll be seein' you soon, Little Bird."

The call ended with a click and I looked up to see Jasper approaching my side of the car. His face was still bleak, but his eyes were the lovely amber I loved so much. He opened the door and gently lifted me as he climbed in, placing me on his lap. I reached up to touch his beautiful face as he looked down at me with sad eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Baby. So sorry for everything," he said as he held me tightly to him. I wrapped myself around him as I had before, this time intent on giving him emotional comfort rather than physical.

"Jasper, it's okay. There's nothing to be sorry for, it's okay," I whispered as I began to follow Peter's directions, just holding on to the man I loved.

**JPOV**

_Blood. Feed. Hearts pounding around me. Drain them all. _

_Her sweet scent. Her steady heart. Her hands on me. Fight for her. Be strong for her. Protect her._

My vampire thoughts were fractured as my body was torn between my instinct to feed and the calming force of the little woman in my arms. I chanted her name out loud as I begged every god I had ever heard of for the traffic to move before I lost control and slaughtered the people around us. I was hanging on a thread, literally fighting to keep myself in the car.

The traffic jam broke up at last and I stopped Bella from moving away from me, knowing I was past my ability to stop myself if I lost contact with her. I pushed the Porsche to its maximum speed, and was luckily able to get to a small state park without attracting the attention of any cops.

As I parked, my relief at being able to ease my thirst was tempered by my reluctance to leave Bella alone in a car as dusk began to fall. It was bad enough that I had carried her away from the medical care she needed. Leaving her unprotected now was unpardonable, but I had no other option.

It was all I could do to speak to her, I was holding onto my shredding control so tightly. "I don't want to leave you," I forced out, knowing she would understand my fears. She reassured me and I forced myself to get out of the car. The sooner I left, the sooner I would be back.

She had been so amazing all day, keeping me together when I had thought it was impossible. Even as she suffered her own pain, she was totally focused on helping me. I heard her whispered endearment as I rushed into the forest in search of prey and I could sense both her love and her worry for me even as I drew farther away from her.

I smelled a small herd of deer and my higher thoughts vanished as instinct took over. I embraced the predator I was, moving from animal to animal, draining them quickly and completely before casting the bodies aside. Gradually I began to regain control of myself as my thirst became sated. Dusk had fallen and I immediately thought of Bella, alone in the car, in the dark.

I took off at a full run to get back to her as soon as possible. As I reached the parking lot I was grateful to see that everything seemed peaceful. I could see that Bella was awake in the car, staring at my cell phone with a puzzled look on her face.

My steps slowed as I approached the car. I wanted nothing more than to be close to her, but I felt so unworthy of being in her presence. She unlocked the car and I opened the passenger side door and leaned in to lift her up and onto my lap as I sat down. I closed my eyes for a brief moment as I felt our special calm flow through us.

She reached up to touch my face and I gazed down at her, still beautiful despite the bruises that marred her cheek. "I'm so sorry, Baby. So sorry for everything," I sighed, thinking of everything I could have done to keep her out of danger, both from K2 and myself.

She wrapped her warm little body around mine and held on tight. "It's okay, Jasper. There's nothing to be sorry for, it's okay." I totally disagreed with her statement that there was nothing to be sorry for, but the feeling of her softness pressed up against me seemed to make my guilt easier to bear.

Her emotional blockade was down, and I could feel her love for me, as well as a surprising amount of pride. I couldn't imagine why she would feel proud of me, but it was still pleasant to pick it up from her. We sat in silence for several minutes, just reconnecting physically with each other now that the urgency that had been driving us was relieved.

"How are you, Sweetheart?" I finally asked as I ran my fingers through her hair, smoothing the little knots my fingers encountered as I did so.

"Pretty sore," she admitted, clearly minimizing the pain she was in. "I'm getting kind of thirsty too."

I stood and gently moved her back into her seat before buckling her in. "Let's get goin' then. I'll stop and get you a drink and you can take your other pill," I suggested as I climbed into my own seat. "I'm going to call Carlisle and let him know we're coming."

She took a deep breath and I almost expected her to try to wiggle out of the bargain. Surprisingly, she just nodded her agreement as I drove us out of the dark parking lot. Picking up my phone, I hit the speed dial for Carlisle.

"Jasper, how are you?" he greeted me smoothly.

"I've been better, Carlisle. Bella's been hurt and I want to bring her to you to get checked over, if that's okay."

"Of course you can bring her, Jasper, but if she's been hurt maybe she should see somebody closer," he replied, concern evident in his voice.

"It's a long story, but she's been in the hospital. We had to leave before the doctors were ready to discharge her and I just want to make sure she's really okay. She insists she's fine, but you know how she is," I said, smirking at her when she huffed in offense. "We're only about an hour or so away, so we'll see you soon."

"I'll ask Esme to pick up some food and toiletries for her and we'll see you when you get here," he replied before hanging up. I glanced at the screen of my phone and noticed Peter's number was on the received calls list.

"You talked to Peter?" I asked Bella hesitantly. She gave a short laugh before answering.

"If you can call it that. He gave me some instructions, told me he would see me soon, and hung up. One of the weirdest conversations I've ever had," she finished, shrugging absently.

"What sort of instructions?" I asked in amazement.

She shrugged again as she answered. "Oh, nothing I wasn't going to do anyway, Jasper. Nosy fucker, isn't he?"

I snorted out loud. "Yep, that's him alright. He's almost always right though, so if you're smart, you just put up with him," I admitted with a smile. She flashed me a brief smile in return, but I could see the pain written on her face.

"Let's get you more comfortable, Sweetheart," I said apologetically. I pulled over at the first gas station I saw and bought Bella some water. She accepted it gratefully and took a big pull before digging her pain pill out of her pocket and swallowing it.

Within a half hour, her face was relaxing slightly and I felt my own posture ease in synch with hers. "Try to sleep if you can, Baby. I'd love to say it'll be relaxing once we get there, but I kind of doubt it."

"Don't remind me," she said sleepily as he eyes drooped. "Don't leave me when we get there, Jasper. I can't do this without you."

"I won't leave you for a second, Sweetheart," I reassured her as I watched her drift into sleep. I punched Carlisle's address into the GPS and sped along on the nearly deserted highway. Bella slept soundly beside me, and about an hour later we pulled into the driveway of the Cullens' home.

It was a large, modern house, located in a remote wooded area. It was slightly reminiscent of the Forks home, and I wondered if it had been a subconscious attempt to hold onto the past.

Turning to Bella, I ran my fingers over her peaceful face. Knowing she would be anxious about facing everyone made it hard to wake her, but I forced myself to get it over with. "Time to wake up, Baby. The welcoming committee is on their way," I said gently as her eyes fluttered open.

Her heart pounded and her jaw clenched with stress. Pushing a tiny amount of calm at her, I took her hand and let our peace wash over us. "You and me, Bella. We can do it together." She nodded tightly and I exited the car, moving quickly to her door as I saw Carlisle's figure speeding from the house.

"Thanks for letting us come, Carlisle," I began, projecting my sincere gratitude toward him.

"Of course, Jasper. You are always welcome here, as is Bella," he said, his words completely matching the affection and concern he was feeling. "How's Bella doing? What are her injuries?" he asked as he moved closer to the car.

I stood protectively in front of the door as he peered anxiously around me. I shrugged apologetically at him as his eyes widened at my actions. I spoke in a quick whisper that Bella couldn't hear. "I'm sorry, Carlisle. I have to warn you that she isn't thrilled to be here. I hope you can be patient with her if she's a little sharp tempered. I also have to warn you that she doesn't want to be separated from me."

Carlisle looked disappointed at my words, but his face remained kind. "Of course, Jasper, whatever she wants. I'm just glad she was willing to come."

"Thank you," I sighed. I completely respected Carlisle, but I also respected Bella's feelings about the way the family had abandoned her.

I moved aside and opened the door to reveal Bella's face watching us avidly. "Ready, Baby?" I asked softly as I leaned over to pick her up.

"As I'll ever be," she whispered back as she reached her arms up to me.

I lifted her out and Carlisle approached us. He made no move to touch Bella and she relaxed slightly in my arms.

"I'm glad you're here, Bella," he said simply. She gave a short nod back at him.

"Please come inside. We'll get you settled and if you'd like, I'll take a look at you."

I sent him a wave of gratitude at how passive he was being for her. I felt a flicker of hope that maybe the reunion would go more smoothly than I had anticipated.

I followed Carlisle in the front door and into the open entry way. Esme was standing in the living room, radiating anxiety and hopefulness. She moved a step forward and Bella stiffened in my arms. I shot a warning glance at Esme, hoping she would pick up on it. Thankfully, she understood me and froze.

"Bella," she breathed out. She visibly struggled for words before simply saying, "Welcome to our home."

"Thank you, Esme," was Bella's quiet response.

Esme smiled sadly at her before looking up at me. "So good to see you, Jasper. Follow me, we'll get Bella settled."

"It's good to see you too, Esme," I answered honestly.

She led us up an open stairway, down a narrow hallway and into a pretty little bedroom with a wall of windows looking into the woods outside. I placed Bella on the bed, smiling at her relieved little sigh as she lay down.

"I picked up a few things you might need," Esme mentioned quietly as she turned to leave. "We'll give you a few minutes, but just speak up when you're ready for Carlisle."

"Thank you so much," I replied, sending her a wave of love and gratitude.

I sat down next to Bella and took in her pale face and tired eyes. I was hit with a pang of guilt for allowing her to be hurt this way. Suddenly, Bella snatched my hand and brought it to her face.

"Stop it," she said without heat. "Whatever you're thinking, stop it. You are not responsible for what happened to me. Those guys would have met me whether you were in my life or not. You saved me, and then you stayed with me at the hospital even though you were hurting. You're amazing and I'm so grateful to have you."

She pressed a kiss into my palm and tugged me closer to her. I leaned over her and she reached up to pull my head toward hers. She kissed me so sweetly, her lips and tongue softly dancing with mine. Our peace washed over us, easing my guilt.

"I hate seeing you hurting like this. Let me call Carlisle in so we can get you settled and resting."

She nodded her consent, so I quietly asked Carlisle to come in. I gave him a quick rundown of the injuries she had sustained and he asked several questions as he did a brief neurological exam. Bella complied with all of his requests and answered his questions, but made no conversation with him.

"Why did you insist on leaving the hospital today, anyway?" he asked as he shined a little light in her eyes. Sighing, I filled him in on my struggles at the hospital. He gave me a hard look, and I picked up on the disapproval he was feeling. "You shouldn't have let it get to that point, Jasper. You should have left to hunt. I don't like to think about all those innocent lives at risk just because you were worried about Bella."

"I know," I began to answer. "I was just so worried about her, and my thirst got worse so gradually, it just snuck up on me." I was interrupted by Bella, who was now sitting up, her eyes blazing at Carlisle.

"Don't you dare criticize him, Carlisle Cullen," she snapped. "He did great. I can't even imagine how he was suffering, but he did it. I promised him I would come here, but I refuse to sit here while you make him feel even guiltier than he already does! It was a close call, but he was amazing and we made it out together."

I smiled gratefully at her vehement defense. I agreed with Carlisle's criticism of me, but it was a refreshing experience to have somebody speaking up for me. "It's okay, Sweets. He's right, I shouldn't have risked you and all those other people like that."

"No, Jasper, I refuse to let you feel guilty about it. You struggled, but there's no shame in that. I'm proud of you." Her eyes were full of the admiration she spoke of, and I was humbled by the love I was picking up from her.

Carlisle stared at her in shock for a moment before recovering. "Of course, Bella. Forgive me, Jasper," he said smoothly. "Have you eaten anything since you regained consciousness?" he asked Bella gently as he began to palpate her abdomen.

She stiffened and winced as he touched painful areas. "Just drank some water and took a pain pill," she replied. He nodded absently he continued examining her.

"It looks like you could use some rest first, but then we should see how you tolerate eating. You seem to have come through your ordeal in decent shape," he admitted with a small smile. "Your ribs and abdomen will be sore for awhile, but there's no sign of any neurological injury. You'll need to follow up with a hematologist to check on the bruised liver, but other than that, you just need to take it easy and heal up. I'll write you a script for some more pain pills, but in the meantime I can give you a small dose of morphine if you'd like."

She shook her head minutely. "No thanks, it's not that bad," she answered, her voice heavy with fatigue.

"Just have Jasper let me know if you get uncomfortable and change your mind tonight," he replied kindly.

"I'll let you get some rest then," Carlisle said as stood up and left the room, flashing a smile at me as he passed. I shared his pleased surprise at how well Bella had handled his examination of her. I helped Bella change into a comfy pair of pajamas and assisted her into the bathroom. She finished her evening routine, and I met her at the bathroom door to carry her back to bed.

I tucked her in as usual and she curled herself around me. I could feel her relaxing almost immediately, and within five minutes she was soundly sleeping. Less than two hours later, she began to twitch restlessly as her dreams began. Her heart raced as I scooped her into my lap, trying to soothe her before she awoke.

"I have you, you're safe," I repeated over and over until she finally settled again. I calmed her from nightmares two more times before I finally heard her breathing change as she began to wake in the early dawn light. She cuddled into me and we sat together for several minutes before her stomach growled loudly.

"How about something to eat?" I suggested with a smile. "I smell coffee and I'm sure Esme is itching to cook for you. I heard Emmett come in awhile ago and I'm sure he'll want to see you too," I added, wanting to warn her of his presence before she saw him downstairs.

She grimaced and rolled her eyes as she began to sit up. She gasped in pain as she tentatively moved. I immediately helped her. "It's okay," she whispered. "Just stiff from not moving for awhile."

"Brave girl," I praised her as I helped her up and into the bathroom. She cleaned up a bit and brushed her hair before I scooped her up to take her down the stairs. Before I reached the door, my phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and recognized Jenks' number on the screen.

Sighing, I retraced my steps to gently put Bella back on the bed. I answered curtly and listened as he informed me that a regular customer of the bookstore had reported the unexplained store closure to the police. An officer had come out to check the store and had discovered Madeline's body. There was now a full investigation into her murder, but there were no real leads. Madeline's remains were as yet unclaimed while the authorities searched for any living family members.

"Find a way for me to cover the funeral expenses and anything else that seems necessary," I instructed. "She was a great person and she didn't deserve to die that way. It's the least I can do to make sure she has a nice funeral." He agreed to proceed and keep me posted before ending the call.

Glancing at Bella, I took in her wide eyes as she listened to my side of the conversation. I realized she was probably processing Madeline's death for the first time. "I'm so sorry, Baby. I know how much you enjoyed working for her," I offered, knowing there were no real words to make her feel better.

"I just hate that she died just because I was there," Bella replied in a broken voice. She leaned on me briefly before sitting up and looking deep into my eyes. "I want you to kill them for me," she said slowly, determination filling her words. "Make them pay for taking her life just because I was in the store with her."

"Done," I replied simply, squeezing her hand. "They sealed their fates the moment they walked into her store, Bella. Jenks is working on a plan with me, and I promise you that those men will never be able to hurt anyone again."

"Good," she answered as I picked her up and carried her down the stairs.

Esme and Carlisle walked out of the kitchen as they heard us enter the family room. Emmett was waiting on the couch idly flipping through a newspaper. He took in Bella's bruised face and let out a low growl before meeting my eyes with a serious expression.

"Let me know when and where we make them pay," he said simply. I gave him a short nod of agreement and gently sat Bella next to him on the couch.

"Doin' okay, Bells?" he asked gently as she gingerly relaxed into the soft cushion. She gave him a tired smile and patted his hand absently.

"I'll be good once I get my coffee, Emmett," she replied easily. "Where's Rosalie?"

His expression grew somber. "She's with Alice. We weren't sure how she'd do around you guys, so we figured we'd better keep her away for now." Bella sighed heavily and looked down at her lap.

"Were you able to rest at all, Bella?" Carlisle asked softly as he approached her.

"A little," she answered, shrugging as she looked up.

He offered to pick up her pain medication when the pharmacy opened, and she gratefully agreed. Esme tried to tempt her with every imaginable breakfast treat, but Bella simply requested toast and coffee. Esme brought her breakfast to the couch and everyone got comfortable around the living room. Bella ate quickly, clearly uncomfortable with the room full of eyes on her.

After she finished, I took her plate into the kitchen and rinsed it. When I returned to the living room, the uncomfortable tension hit me like a brick in the face. Bella was sitting stiffly next to Emmett on the couch facing Esme and Carlisle in the chairs opposite. Esme was holding Carlisle's hand and leaning forward expectantly.

I took my seat next to Bella and curled her hand into mine. She clung to me tightly as Esme began to speak.

"Bella," she began, "we've been so worried. Won't you please tell us how you ended up on your own?"

Bella looked at Emmett in confusion, but he nodded his head in reply. "Wasn't my story to tell," he said softly.

She squeezed my hand tightly and visibly squared her shoulders as she began to tell her story, her eyes staring out into space. I felt Esme and Carlisle's shock and sorrow as they listened to Bella's description of her life after we left her in Forks.

She avoided making eye contact until she spoke about her struggles to find housing in Manhattan and what she had done to survive. She glared at them as she briefly described having to fuck a stranger, almost daring them to judge her. I rubbed her arm lightly and gently projected pride and love toward her, hoping she could feel it through her emotional barrier.

To their credit, Carlisle and Esme didn't betray the shock and sorrow they were feeling at her words. "Oh Bella," Esme sighed sadly. Bella stiffened and I calmly took over the story of how we had met and fallen in love, lifting her into my lap and smiling down at her as I looked back on the progress we had made together.

"We're so sorry, Bella," Esme broke in after I finished speaking. "We never dreamed that Victoria would come after you, or we would never have agreed to leave you. It broke our hearts to go, but Edward was so sure it was best…" her voice trailed off uncertainly as we all heard Bella's heart began to race.

I felt Esme's determination and affection surge as she began to speak again. "I'm just so glad you're here now, Bella. You made our family complete before, maybe you being here is what we need to put this family back together again."

_Oh fuck,_ I sighed to myself as Bella vibrated angrily in my arms. Emmett face palmed as he braced for the fall out. Realizing she needed to express herself if she was ever going to move past her anger, I made no move to restrain her as she answered.

"Family?" she spat out incredulously. "My family is dead, Esme. They were murdered by the psychotic vampire bitch who's still stalking me right now. The one you left me alone and undefended against, even though I was supposed to be part of your _family."_

"Bella," Carlisle interrupted. "We're sorry, we just did what Edward thought was best."

Bella's eyes blazed as she rounded on him. "Oh, I get that, Carlisle. You did what was best for your son. I get that and I even respect it. It's what you do for _family,_ you take care of each other. What I don't get," she continued breathlessly, "is how two years later you can both sit here and expect me to jump back into the _Cullen family_ like you guys never left. I wasn't family when you disappeared without a word, and I'm not family now."

I watched her tears slip through her eyelashes before she angrily wiped them away with her arm. My heart broke for the pain I knew she was reliving, but I knew this was necessary if she was ever going to have a relationship with them again. Esme and Carlisle were both radiating heartbreak at her words. Bella took a deep breath and spoke again, clearly struggling to remain calm.

"I know you're good people and I don't blame you for doing what Edward needed you to do. But you don't get to call me family anymore, Esme. I appreciate you letting us stay here and Carlisle checking me out, but the only reason I agreed to come here was to get Jasper to agree to leave the hospital with me. I'm willing to try to rebuild a relationship with you, but it's honestly going to take a long time before I can look at you without thinking of the way Charlie died, just because I wasn't quite family enough in Forks."

I gently wrapped my arms around her. She turned her face into me and I ran my fingers through her hair as I listened to her heart start to calm. Esme and Carlisle sat frozen in shock for a moment before looking at Emmett, who was still sitting on the couch next to us.

"She grew up into a tough little thing," he agreed softly to their unspoken reaction to the changes the years had wrought in Bella's personality.

"I'm only as tough as I need to be, Emmett," Bella whispered into my chest, knowing everyone would hear her.

Carlisle cleared his throat before speaking. "I think all we can say is that we're so sorry for the consequences our actions had on you and your family, Bella," he began, his sadness evident on his face. "We understand that you're justifiably angry, and we appreciate that you're willing to try to allow us back into your life. We're willing to do whatever you need to try to move on."

Bella didn't respond as she pushed her face even closer against my chest. I could tell she was at the end of her ability to continue the conversation. "I think she needs some time and space right now, Carlisle," I said softly as I looked him in the face. He met my eyes and nodded his agreement.

"I think we'll head upstairs so Bella can rest a little more," I suggested. "If you can pick up that prescription for her then we'll head back home after Bella has lunch." I felt everyone's disappointment at my plan, but I knew that keeping Bella there wasn't going to be conducive to her resting and healing.

Abruptly, the feelings they were projecting turned to anxiety as the three of them shared a heavy look. "What's up?" I sighed, realizing that they wanted to ask me something.

Emmett turned to face me, his gaze stopping on Bella's curled up form in my lap before meeting my eyes. "Well, Jas, we were wondering since you're here," he began, projecting nervousness. I nodded at him impatiently, hoping he would just spit it out. He took a deep breath and continued. "Would you visit Alice to see if you can help her?" he blurted out, looking at me with hopeful eyes.

Bella clutched my shirt in her hands and I closed my eyes and rested my head against hers briefly. "I don't think I can do that, Emmett," I sighed as I opened my eyes again. "I promised Bella I wouldn't leave her, and if you think it's not safe for her around Alice, I just can't do it."

Disappointment hit me from all three of them, but they each nodded respectfully and made no argument.

"You should go, Jasper." Bella's soft voice filled the room as we all looked at her in surprise. She sat herself up to face the room. "I hate to think of her suffering, Jasper. I think you should go see if there's anything you can do."

I turned her slightly so that I was looking directly down into her soulful brown eyes. "I love you," I said, full of amazement at her ability to put aside her own feelings for a friend who had abandoned her. "I love you for wanting to help her," I continued, "but I promised you we'd stay together, and I won't leave you alone here."

The sound of a car door outside interrupted me. I was the first to catch the scent of the vampire approaching the house, and a wide smile crossed my face. The others picked up on the unfamiliar scent and stood up anxiously as they heard the front door open and close.

"Good thing I was just thinkin' how I could go for a little girl time," the voice of my oldest friend drawled out as he walked into the room and knelt down in front of Bella and me. The others tensed visibly as they reacted to his crimson eyes. I projected calm at them and shook my head to indicate their defensive reactions were unnecessary.

Peter reached out one hand to cup Bella's face gently as they stared at each other for a long moment. "Hey there, Little Bird," he finally spoke to her, ignoring everyone else in the room. "I've been waitin' to meet ya for a long time now." His eyes flicked over toward me and he flashed me a quick grin before speaking to her again. "Ya did real good holdin' on to him. I think you'll do just fine."

She remained silent for a minute as she processed his words. They locked eyes with each other again, almost as if they were having a silent conversation. Slowly a soft smile spread across her lips and I watched in amazement as she leaned out of my arms to wrap Peter in a hug. "Nice ta meet ya, Little Sister," he whispered to her.

"Nice to meet you too, Peter," she whispered back before carefully climbing out of my lap onto his. She pulled my face down to hers and pressed a sweet little kiss onto my lips. "Go try to help Alice, Jasper. Peter and I will be fine here."

**AN- Wow, and I mean wow! You guys blew me out of the water with the reviews last chapter! I was going to apologize for whining, but since it was so successful, I'm not gonna, lol! I loved hearing from each and every one of you who reviewed- from my regulars to those new to the story and those who have been reading along without reviewing regularly! Thank you all for reading my story.**

**Special thanks to BassmanOz for sending me the research assistant. Saved me a ton of time looking up Peter, but for some reason that PDF can't make a decent cup of coffee! It's hard to find good help.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer. **

**Many thanks to mynxi for the time she spends solving my problems, written and otherwise. Love ya big time, Sweets. **

Chapter Sixteen

**BPOV  
**

"I love you for wanting to help her, but I promised you we'd stay together, and I won't leave you alone here." Jasper's refusal to leave me to visit Alice was interrupted by the sound of a car door outside. He and the others visibly tensed as my own heart began to race in anxiety, wondering who would be visiting the Cullens unexpectedly.

Noticing that Jasper's expression had relaxed into an easy smile, I forced myself to calm down. The others stood up as the front door opened and closed.

"Good thing I was just thinkin' how I could go for a little girl time," a cheerful voice drawled out as an unknown vampire walked casually into the living room. He was almost as tall as Jasper and had shaggy, light blonde hair. I met his crimson eyes as he walked further into the room, but strangely I felt no fear as he approached me.

The Cullens were almost vibrating with tension, but Jasper shook his head minutely and their posture relaxed as he projected calm to them. The stranger knelt down in front of Jasper and me before gently reaching out to touch my face with his cool hand.

"Hey there, Little Bird. I've been waitin' to meet ya for a long time now." His voice was soft and his red eyes were kind as he looked up at me. He flashed a quick grin at Jasper before meeting my gaze again. "Ya did real good holdin' on to him. I think you'll do just fine."

The endearment confirmed my suspicions that this was the mysterious Peter. I kept quiet as I looked back at him, reading nothing but affection and safety in his expression. For a moment I fought against the strange, unearned trust I felt for him, but I gradually came to the conclusion that I should follow my instincts and have faith in him.

I smiled as I leaned out of Jasper's arms to wrap Peter's hard body in a hug. His arms grasped me gently as he hugged me back.

"Nice ta meet ya, Little Sister," he whispered into the top of my head.

"Nice to meet you too, Peter," I whispered back as I gingerly moved out of Jasper's lap and climbed onto Peter's. I tugged on Jasper until he leaned down enough for me to press a gentle kiss to his lips. "Go try to help Alice, Jasper. Peter and I will be fine here."

Jasper closed his eyes and winced as the Cullens began to react. Emmett was the first to erupt, shouting out, "No fucking way is she staying here with him, Jasper! I don't care who he is and what you guys used to do together, she is not safe with him!"

I felt a strong flash of anger at Emmett's assumption that he had any input on my actions and opened my mouth to protest.

"Relax and let us handle this one, Darlin'," Peter said softly. I kept quiet in compliance with his suggestion, but I couldn't resist glaring at Emmett, who looked away uncomfortably.

Carlisle cleared his throat before speaking. "As much as I wish Emmett was more polite in expressing his opinion, I have to agree with his concerns over Bella's safety, Jasper." Esme nodded in agreement and Emmett muttered "Damn straight," under his breath.

Jasper stood up to face them before speaking in a calm tone. "I appreciate that you are all acting out of concern for Bella's safety," he began. "But what you need to understand is that her safety is my primary concern as well, and I would _never_ risk it by leaving her with someone I didn't trust. I'm sure you've all realized by now that this is Peter, and other than myself, there is no other being on Earth she will be safer with. So if Bella's comfortable with staying here with him, I'm willing to go see if there's anything I can do for Alice."

Emmett crossed his arms and shook his head. "Jas, let me stay with her. I can protect her just fine, and I won't get confused and forget she's not a snack," he growled.

I felt Peter's chuckle as he responded. "Calm down, Big Guy," he laughed. "First of all, I fed this morning before I got here, so I'm not thirsty. Second, my craving for human blood gets sated on a regular basis. I'm much less likely to 'slip up' with her than any of you 'vegetarians' are."

Jasper clasped Emmett gently on the shoulder. "I would never put her at risk, Em. I know you're strong enough to protect her, but what if Edward walked in the door after I left? Then you're in a situation where you're torn between what Bella wants and what your brother wants, and I don't want you in that position. Peter will have no conflict. He'll make sure she's safe and doesn't leave this house until I come back, end of story." Emmett looked back at him for a long minute before silently nodding his head in agreement.

Jasper turned back toward me and knelt down again. "Are you still okay with this, Sweetheart? I won't go unless you want me to."

I reached out for his hand and smiled sadly. "Out of remembrance for the friendship Alice and I had, I want you to try," I answered honestly.

"Okay then," he replied. "Let's get this show on the road." He cupped my face with both of his hands and looked deep into my eyes. "I will be back before you go to sleep tonight," he promised.

"I know you will," I replied, trying to push my faith in him outwards. I was amazed that I really had no fear that he would abandon me for Alice. I knew the man in front of me would never betray me that way; he had earned my trust in every possible way and I had no reservations about his love for me.

Jasper shifted his gaze to Peter. "Peter, I…" He was cut off as Peter interrupted.

"You can tell me all about it when you get back, Jasper. I've waited this long, another couple hours won't kill me."

Jasper regarded him for a moment before nodding his head solemnly. "All right, but there's something else." He glanced over at me before continuing. "The last time I left her, someone took her and hurt her," he said quietly. "She is my Charlotte, Peter. Make sure she's here and safe when I get back."

Peter returned his gaze steadily. "I know exactly what she is to you, Jasper. She'll be right here waiting on you when you get back." Jasper nodded calmly in acceptance before standing up.

Shifting on Peter's lap, I winced as the movement hurt my ribs. Jasper's eyes narrowed as he noticed my pain and he turned quickly toward Carlisle. "Is there anything you can give her?"

Carlisle stood and walked over to a black messenger style bag. He pulled out several stacks of paperwork before holding up a small prescription bottle. "These are stronger than what she had yesterday," he warned. "After they kick in, they'll probably knock you out, Bella."

"That's probably not a bad thing," I admitted. "I didn't get much sleep last night." I accepted the pills from Carlisle and downed them quickly with the glass of water Esme handed me.

Jasper turned back to Peter. "She gets nightmares," he warned.

Peter just smiled as he settled me onto the couch and stood up to look at Jasper. "I'll chase the boogey man away," he answered calmly.

Jasper sat on the edge of the couch and I looked up into his beautiful amber eyes. I couldn't resist reaching up to brush his hair out of his eyes. The thought that he was going to walk out the door suddenly made my heart catch, and I felt a wave of anxiety.

His face grew concerned as he heard my heart pound. "Bella, I won't go if you're not sure," he began.

I shook my head and pressed a finger to his lips. "My head and my heart are both sure they want you to try to help Alice. It's just my body doesn't like the idea of you leaving," I said softly. "I'll be fine. Now get going so you can get back," I ordered gently. He leaned forward and gave me a sweet kiss before standing up and leaving the room at vampire speed, followed silently by the Cullens.

My heart clenched as I heard the car start and knew that Jasper was driving away from me, but I took a deep breath and tried to relax myself. Peter sat down on the couch and lifted my feet into his lap. I smiled at him as I allowed the tension to fully leave my body.

"So you eat people, huh?" I asked. I began laughing as his eyes widened at my bold question.

"You don't beat around the bush do ya, Darlin'?" he chuckled. "Yep, Charlotte and I _eat people_, although to be technical, it's really drinking!" He winked at me before his face grew more serious. "We're real particular about who we hunt though. We stick to the type of people that society won't miss… criminals, drug addicts, sometimes suicidal or terminally ill people as well."

I nodded my head as I processed this information. It made sense, but one thought troubled me. "You say society won't miss these people, but most of them probably have family or friends that will miss them. And, who knows what these people would turn into if they didn't end up your dinner first. There's always hope for change," I insisted.

He sighed and took my hand. "Everything you just said is true, Bella Bird," he admitted. "Nothing is free, Bella, nothing. When Jasper kills a doe, a fawn loses its mother and perhaps even its own life. When I kill a criminal, there's a chance he has a mother at home who will miss him for the rest of her life. There's also the chance that if he lived he would reform and solve world hunger. But the long and short of it is, I am what I am, and I kill to survive. I won't try to convince you that I'm a good person, but I'm doin' the best I can with the situation I'm in. Jasper's chosen his way to get by, Char and I have chosen ours."

I squeezed his hand back and leaned back against the couch. "I can accept that, Peter. As a human, I have to admit that I like Jasper's way better, but you're no monster either. You clearly admit the impact your actions have, which I respect."

He grinned at me as he released my hand. "Glad we can be friends, even with my diet," he teased. "Charlotte would be pissed if I scared you off before she gets to meet ya!"

"So, tell me Peter, where is your better half?" I demanded lightly, hoping to change the grisly topic.

He smiled sweetly, his face full of affection at the thought of his wife. "No worries, Little Bird. Charlotte's just workin' on getting' us a place to stay. I'm gonna help that boy of yours get all these messes straightened out, and then I'm gonna take ya'll down ta meet her."

His mention of cleaning up messes immediately brought my thoughts to Andy. I felt a wave of guilt and anxiety; I had been so wrapped up in Jasper, my injuries, and seeing the Cullens again that I hadn't even thought of Andy until now.

"Now what's makin' your little heart pound like that, Sugar?" Peter asked, his concerned tone belying the lighthearted words.

"It's my friend Andy," I explained. "He was hurt by the same guys that took me, and I don't know how he is, or even where he is." I chewed my lip anxiously. "I can't believe I didn't think to ask Jasper before he left. I won't be able to stop worrying about it until he gets back," I sighed in frustration.

Peter reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone. "Well, why don't we do something ta put your fears to rest," he suggested. "I'm assumin' Jasper's been usin' the services of our esteemed Mr. Jenks on this situation?"

I nodded my head affirmatively, and he pushed a button on his phone. I waited anxiously until he finally spoke into the phone. "How do, Mr. Jenks?" he began in a cheerful tone. "This is Peter Whitlock, Jasper's brother. I'm here with Miss Bella, and she's frettin' over how her friend Andy is doin', and I thought you might be able to fill her in." He listened intently for a moment before smiling. "Much appreciated, Sir. Here she is now."

He handed me the phone, and I spoke nervously into it. "Hello? This is Bella," I announced awkwardly. Jasper mentioned Jenks so frequently that I almost felt I knew him, but I had never spoken to him myself.

"Miss Swan," a polished voice answered. "So nice to hear your voice in person. I'm so glad you're safe again. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, thank you," answered. "Can you tell me anything about Andy?" I asked hesitantly.

"Of course," he answered easily. "He's in a safe place, fully conscious, and by all reports extremely pissed off. He'll be staying where he is until Mr. Whitlock gives me some further directions."

Mental pictures of a raging Andy worrying about me flooded my mind. "Does he know I'm okay, Mr. Jenks? He saw me getting hurt and he would worry about me."

There was a pause on the other end before he replied. "I'll make sure he's informed that you're safe and relatively sound, Miss Swan. I apologize for not thinking of it before."

"That's okay, Mr. Jenks. We've been keeping you pretty busy," I reassured him. "Thank you for everything you've done to help us."

"It's my pleasure, Miss Swan. I'll be in touch with Mr. Whitlock, unless there's anything else now?"

"No thank you; that was all I needed. Good-bye," I replied softly before handing the phone back to Peter.

"Feel better now, Bella?" he asked as he slipped the phone back into his pocket.

"Much better, thank you," I sighed as I sagged back into the couch. I could feel the pain medication beginning to kick in, as my movements no longer caused me to catch my breath and my eyes were starting to feel heavy.

"Why do I feel so connected to you, Peter?" I blurted out. Apparently my mental filter was being affected by the narcotics as well. "I don't even know you, but I trust you with my life, and not just because Jasper told me to."

His face lit up at my question and he looked eager as he shifted to face me better. "Well now, Bella, I can't answer that question for sure, but I have a theory," he began. "I've known for decades that Jasper's girl would be comin'."

My eyes widened at his words. "What about Alice, Peter? She was his girl until she decided to end it."

His expression grew sad. "I never thought Alice would be Jasper's forever, Bella. She saved him by bringing him to the Cullens and showing him a way to exist without being consumed by guilt, but they weren't compatible enough to be together forever. Their relationship could only survive by one of them sacrificing a huge part of their personality to allow them to get along. That person was Jasper, and while I know he loved her and was happy, it was also like a part of him was missing when he was with her."

I swallowed heavily as I saw the similarities between Jasper and myself. We had each had to give up our true selves in order to fit with the people we had loved. Peter gave me a knowing look before continuing.

"Now after she left him, it was even worse for awhile. He was lost without her constantly givin' him directions, but he was slowly pullin' out of it. Until," he paused, "_you_ came along. I could hear it in his voice on the phone, he was back in the driver's seat of his life. He had something to do, someone to look after. Loving you has brought him back, and I can't thank you enough."

My fuzzy brain couldn't find the words to respond to his heartfelt thanks. He grinned as he realized I was getting loopy from the pain pills. "Now back to your original question, Miss Bella," he drawled. "My guess is that maybe our two souls are connected by Jasper. Maybe when two souls both love another one, they sort of recognize each other when they meet?" he postulated with a shrug.

"Peter, that is one of the trippiest things I have ever heard," I slurred out as my eyes drifted closed. I heard his small chuckle as I managed to keep talking. "I love you even though you're a crazy, philosophical fucker. Gonna take a nap now, 'kay?"

"You do that, Darlin'. I'll be right here when ya wake up." His voice sounded far away as I slid into a heavy morphine induced sleep.

I awoke sluggishly, struggling to break the hold of my drugged sleep. I was disoriented for a moment before I realized that Peter had carried me to the room I had slept in last night. He opened the door moments after I opened my eyes.

"How ya' feelin', Sleepy One?" he asked.

"Not sure yet," I muttered as I moved the covers aside to sit up. The pain upon moving was enough to make me gasp, and Peter was by my side instantly.

"Easy there, Bella. Let me help," he said calmly.

"Peter, as much as I love you already, I'm not ready for you to help me take a piss," I replied tartly. He laughed as he raised his hands up and backed away. "Just give me a second and I'll try again. It's probably better for me to start moving around anyway. I don't think my feet have touched the ground since Jasper saved me."

"Have it your way, Little Bird. Just let me know if you want help."

I finally managed to get myself into a standing position, but I had to lean heavily on Peter on my way to the bathroom. I shooed him out of the bathroom so I could pee in peace, and was proud of myself as I managed to walk out on my own when I was done.

I made it into the hallway independently, but gladly agreed to let Peter carry me down the steps. He settled me back on the couch and offered to find me something to eat. Feeling a little queasy from the medication, I declined and asked for a glass of water instead.

I picked up the remote and flipped channels absently while Peter thumbed through a book. My stomach remained upset and my ribs were really starting to hurt. To top it off, I was starting to feel anxious about how Jasper was doing and how Carlisle and the others were treating him.

"What's eatin' ya now, Bella?" Peter asked nonchalantly as he looked up from his book.

"I don't feel good and I'm worried about Jasper," I admitted frankly as I turned the TV off.

"He can handle himself just fine, Honey. What are you worried will happen to him?" He seemed quite interested in my concern, his red eyes piercing mine intently.

"I just worry that Carlisle and the others will give him a hard time about what happened to me. None of it was his fault, but he already feels so guilty about it. He just doesn't need to pick up any blame from them too."

Peter put his book down and walked over to me. "You just keep holdin' on to him, and he'll come out fine," he said softly. "You're real good for him, Bella, and with time, you'll help him get past all the guilt he carries around. Now stop worryin', 'cause he'll be walking in the door in about …," he trailed off as we heard car doors close outside.

"I'd make that about three seconds," he chuckled as the front door opened and Jasper materialized in front of me. In the next instant, I was wrapped in his arms and cradled on his lap. I snuggled into him, breathing in his scent and relishing the feeling of him pressing his face into the top of my head.

"How did it go?" I whispered into his chest.

"Not good," he sighed into my hair. "I wasn't able to help her at all."

"All you could do was try, Jasper," I said gently, able to see the guilt written across his face. I began to sit myself up, wincing as the movement caused a stabbing pain in my ribs. I couldn't hide my grimace from Jasper, and he peered down at me anxiously. "How are you, Sweetheart? Did you sleep any?"

His cool hand traced my face and I smiled softly at him. "I'm okay," I started to answer before Peter cut in, giving me a pointed glare.

"She slept about an hour before she got up and moved around a bit. She's a stubborn little thing and wouldn't let me help much, so she's feelin' it now. Her stomach's upset, and she hasn't been able to eat anything other than sippin' on a little water."

Carlisle approached us immediately, gently moving my head to look into my eyes. "You're starting to look a little dehydrated, Bella. Do you think you could try to drink some more?"

"Maybe a cup of tea, if you have it?" I suggested hesitantly.

"Of course, Dear," Esme answered quickly as she rushed into the kitchen.

"We picked up a different pain medication that will be easier on your stomach. You can take it in about an hour," Carlisle said as he finished looking me over.

I thanked him and let Jasper carry me into the kitchen. Within minutes I was sipping my tea and even nibbling on some toast as my stomach settled. Esme sat at the table with me and we chatted idly about trivial things. I longed to return to the days when I would have confided my deepest thoughts and fears to her, but I just wasn't there yet.

Peter and Jasper were alone in the living room, having a conversation I couldn't hear. My guess was that Jasper was filling Peter in on recent events. Sighing, I ran a hand absently through my hair and cringed at the greasy feel of it. Jasper caught my expression and immediately tensed up.

"What's wrong, are you hurting again?" he demanded as he walked into the kitchen.

I smiled at him as I shook my head. "Relax, Whitlock. Just wishing I could wash my hair, that's all. I'm so gross, I don't know how you're tolerating being in the same room given your super vampire sense of smell. I just don't feel up to standing in the shower right now though." In the next instant, I was in his arms being carried upstairs. "What are you doing, Jasper?"

He smiled down at me as we entered the bedroom. "Your wish is my command, Sweetheart. We're gonna wash your hair."

**JPOV**

Turning away to leave Bella was one of the most difficult things I had ever done in my long life. I knew she was in Peter's safe hands, but I still felt anxious about walking away from her, especially when she was still in pain. The anxiety the others were feeling about Peter was amplifying my own tension, and I really felt on edge.

I forced my feet to keep moving forward out of the house, following Emmett to his huge Jeep and climbing into the passenger side. Carlisle and Esme sat in the back and Emmett pulled out of the driveway.

"We're only about fifteen minutes away," he mentioned. "She and Rose are at our place while Bella's here."

"So what exactly has been going on with Alice?" I asked tersely, glancing back at Carlisle.

"Her condition varies a lot, Jasper," he answered, a wave of sadness following his words. "She has days where she acts relatively normal. Then out of nowhere she'll snap into a catatonic state, which is always followed by manic behavior. The last two weeks have been particularly bad. She's been in a state of constant agitation."

I felt my own wave of sorrow for the condition of the woman who had shared my life for so many years.

Esme's soft voice chimed in from the back seat. "She's so lost, Jasper. We have to take her out and coax her to hunt. Someone has to be with her constantly, we're so worried she'll snap and attack a human. I really hope you can help her."

I met her sad eyes as I answered, "I'll do everything I can, Esme."

Emmett stopped the Jeep in front of a charming log cabin tucked into a secluded valley. The front door opened and Rosalie walked out to meet us. Emmett rushed to meet her and I smiled as they embraced sweetly after their separation.

I got out of the Jeep and walked over to them. "Thanks for coming, Jasper," Rosalie whispered as I gave her a quick hug. "She's inside. I told her you were coming, but she didn't react at all." I followed Emmett and Rose inside, Esme and Carlisle immediately behind me.

I took in the sight of Alice sitting in an oversized chair that dwarfed her and gasped. Her gaze was fixed in front of her and she made no sign of recognition as we approached her. Her demeanor resembled the way she acted when she was having a vision, only much more severe. "She's been like this for three days now," Rose whispered behind me.

She was dressed simply in a t-shirt and tights and her hair was disheveled rather than its normal perfect spikiness. It made my cold heart clench in my chest. The Alice I had known and loved would never have allowed herself to be seen like this. She remained motionless except for her eyes, which moved rapidly side to side, passing over me as if I wasn't there.

I knelt in front of the tiny woman who had been my wife. Her emotions struck me like a barrage of bullets. Despair, anger, desperation, and fear flashed over her in rapid, random sequence. Her eyes flickered as if she was watching something we couldn't see. "Hello, Alice," I said quietly. She made no sign that she heard my voice. "I came to see how you're doing."

Her lack of reaction to my voice left a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had never seen a vampire in this condition. I had encountered many crazy vamps in my violent past, but they had been rapidly dispatched once their usefulness was finished. A catatonic vampire was completely outside of my experience, and I felt real fear for her. All of the thousands of drugs humans had developed to treat such a condition were useless to us, unable to be absorbed by her vampire anatomy.

I sighed and centered myself, closing my eyes and picturing Bella to ease my own anxiety. I attempted to push a wave of calm over Alice. I was unsurprised when it had no effect, almost as if the peace I was sending her dissipated on contact with her. Fighting my growing sense of failure, I tried speaking to her for several minutes, but she never reacted or acknowledged me.

I slowly reached out to take one of her small hands in mine, hoping that the physical contact would amplify the effect of my gift. Feeling the love and hope from the others in the room, I focused on pushing those emotions into Alice, imagining them traveling between our linked hands. Again, she didn't react, and her own emotions didn't change. "I'm so sorry, Alice," I said quietly as I stood up to walk away.

As I turned, I saw the disappointed faces of the others. My own sense of failure was multiplied by their sadness. I forced myself to push through the strong emotions and met their eyes. "I'm sorry. My ability isn't reaching her. I wish there was something else I could do."

"Thank you for trying, Jasper," Carlisle answered softly. "We knew it was a long shot."

I just nodded shortly and walked out of the small home to the Jeep, eager to get back to Bella. I felt a profound feeling of sadness, both my own and the Cullens, and I knew being around Bella would help me pull out of it.

We made a quick stop to pick up the pain medication Carlisle had ordered for Bella and headed back to Esme and Carlisle's home. Emmett laughed drily as I opened the car door before the Jeep was parked. I ran into the house and followed the sound of Bella's heart to the living room.

I gently picked her up and settled her in my lap, allowing our sense of peace to surround me as she nestled her face into my chest. She reassured me with words as well as with her touch and I began to feel better. I still felt sad at my inability to help Alice, but the raw edge was gone from the feeling.

When she moved, I could tell she was in pain. She tried to deny it, but Peter jumped in and filled me in on how she had done while I was away. _Stubborn little thing is right,_ I thought to myself as Carlisle moved in to take a look at her.

We took a few minutes to get her settled in the kitchen with Esme before Peter and I returned to the living room. He took a look at me and shook his head.

"I leave the continent for two months, and look what a mess ya get into," he drawled out with a smirk. "Ya finally find your girl, but not in time to keep her from getting neck deep into trouble."

I shook my head wryly at him. "She really is a danger magnet, Peter. You don't understand, trouble follows her."

"So fill me in on exactly what happened while I was gone," he demanded as he relaxed back on the couch. I complied, speaking quickly and quietly as I described how Bella and I had met and everything that had happened since then. He spent a lot of time grinning as he listened until I relayed the story of her kidnapping and my struggle at the hospital.

"I didn't think I would make it out of there, Peter. There was no way I was going to stop myself from draining someone. I knew it would mean exposing her to the Volturi, but I knew I couldn't stop myself. I still don't understand how I did it, but somehow I did it."

"Ya did it with her, idiot. You let her in and allowed her to be what you needed, and it worked. Ya'll are one of those 'sum is greater than the parts' situations."

As he spoke, I glanced at Bella and noticed she was grimacing. "What's wrong, are you hurting again?" I asked as I approached her. She smiled at me and told me that she wanted to wash her hair. Without a second thought, I swept her up into my arms and headed up the stairs, laughing at her startled confusion.

I could tell she was still nervous in my arms, so I reassured her. "Relax, Sweets. I'm gonna run you a bath. I promise I'll do all the work; it won't hurt a bit."

She smiled sweetly and relaxed as I walked into the bedroom we were using and sat her gently on the bed. I went into the bathroom and started the water running in the oversized tub. I pulled out soap, towels, and shampoo from the supplies Esme had provided.

When the water was the perfect temperature, I returned to the bed and picked Bella up, being careful not to jostle her. I carried her into the bathroom and sat her on the vanity seat, helping her carefully out of her battered t-shirt and jeans. She wrinkled her nose as I tossed them aside.

"I think we need to burn those," she said in disgust. "I never want to see them again."

"I'm sure you can borrow something from Esme until we can pick you up something new," I replied as I knelt in front of her to help her out of her undergarments. The sight of the livid bruises covering her chest and abdomen made my cold heart clench.

"My poor, Sweet Girl," I sighed as I leaned in to press a kiss against her ribs and she gently held my head close. "I'm so sorry I let them hurt you." The memory of her lying on the floor fighting to stay conscious overwhelmed me. I began to run my hands along her arms and legs, trying to remind myself that she was alive and would heal.

Bella gently pulled my head up to look at her. "Jasper, you have to let this go," she said gently as she ran her fingers through my hair. "It wasn't your fault. You saved me. I hurt right now, but I will heal. I am sitting here alive because of you. I love you," she sighed as I stood and lifted her to carry her to the tub.

She stiffened as I sat her into the water, but she relaxed as the warm water soothed her muscles. I whipped off my clothes and stepped in to sit behind her, pulling her gently back against my chest. Unfortunately, the feel of her ass against my dick gave me an immediate hard on, and I felt her shake with laughter before she braced herself against the pain.

"Sorry, Jasper. Don't think I'm in shape for bathtub sex yet," she teased as she took my hand in hers.

"I know, Baby. I'd tell you it'll go away, but I think you'll just have to ignore it. You naked equals me hard, I guess."

She giggled sweetly and ran her hands along my forearms. "We'll just have to repeat this in a week or two," she murmured as she closed her eyes.

"That's a date," I whispered as I grabbed the soap and began to lather it. I used my hands and carefully washed her, closing my eyes and relishing the sensation of her warm, soft body under my hands. I was thorough, but careful not to linger anywhere that would tease her. She was in no shape for any sort of sex, and I didn't want to make her think I was hoping for any action.

After I washed her, I shifted her to the side and reached for the convenient hand sprayer to wet her hair, being careful to avoid her face. I poured a generous amount of shampoo into my hands and worked her long hair into a thick lather. She sighed contentedly as I massaged her scalp and used my fingers to untangle the knots.

"Heaven," she moaned as I moved my hands down to her neck and shoulders, keeping the pressure soft and soothing. When I noticed the water was cooling off, I used the sprayer to rinse her hair out and carefully lifted her out of the tub. I dried her quickly with one of Esme's luxurious towels so she wouldn't get a chill before wrapping her up in a fluffy robe and sitting her on the vanity stool again.

I dried myself off and dressed again using vampire speed before returning to her. I pressed a kiss against her lips as I reached for the hairbrush on the vanity. "I'm so glad you're sitting here in front of me, Bella. In my long life, I've never felt such fear as I did when I knew they had you," I said softly as I turned the stool and began to comb out her wet hair.

She looked at me through the vanity mirror, her brown eyes full of emotions I couldn't feel. "I wasn't afraid at all, Jasper. I knew you would come for me; all I had to do was hang on long enough. Even in the hospital when you were so close to losing control, I wasn't afraid. I knew that I had to keep you from hurting someone or the Volturi would take you from me, so I just pushed the fear away and put my faith in you. Both times, you came through, just like I knew you would, Jasper Whitlock."

I turned her slightly to reach the other side of her head. The harsh bathroom light struck the greenish bruise on her face. Tracing the bruise softly with one finger, I whispered to her. "I look at your beautiful body covered in bruises, and it makes me ill. I would give anything to be able to take your pain into me instead."

She moved her face to press a kiss into my palm. "I know how you feel," she sighed. "When you were in so much pain at the hospital, I would have done anything to take it away. But," she continued cautiously, "I want you to let that go. I hate seeing the guilt on your face every time I wince. I'm starting to feel guilty for making you feel guilty, and we need to step out of the downward spiral. It hurts, but you being here with me makes it worth it. I love you, Jasper."

I knelt in front of her and kissed her reverently. "I love you too, Sweetheart." The thought that my guilt was starting to affect her snapped me right out of my pity party. I needed to stop regretting what I hadn't done to keep her safe and concentrate on helping her feel better. "I'm done with the guilt now, I promise."

Her beautiful face lit up with a peaceful smile. "Good," she whispered. "Now let's go cuddle."

"Your wish is my command," I teased as I whisked her back into the bedroom and got us situated in bed. We held each other silently, just enjoying the contact. I ran my fingers through her hair as it dried while she traced the scars on my arm with a fingertip.

I heard Peter's footsteps as he approached the door. "Can I break up this love fest, or do I need ta come back later?" he cooed as he stepped into the room.

"Come on in, Asshole," I smiled as I nodded toward the empty chair. He dragged it over to the bedside and took a seat.

"Ya sure smell pretty, Little Bird," he teased Bella as I felt her blush in my arms. "Feelin' any better?"

"Yep'," she replied. "Having clean hair has a definite analgesic effect on me."

I gently shifted us so that we were lying on our sides facing Peter, my arm draping over her little body as she snuggled into me.

"Glad ta hear it, Darlin'. I was hurtin' for ya for awhile down there." He shifted his gaze to me. "Now, why don't ya fill us in on what went down with Alice," he suggested. "Little Pixie and I never got along great, but I hate to hear she's in a bad way."

I explained Alice's condition and lack of reaction to anyone, struggling against the guilt that was trying to rise up again in me. "I've never seen anything like it in a vampire. It was awful."

Bella linked our hands together before bringing them up to her mouth for a gentle kiss. "You did everything you could, Baby. We'll think of something else to try," she said in a soothing tone.

Peter rolled his eyes at me. "Anything else you'd like to take responsibility for while you're beatin' yourself up for stuff that's not your fault, Jasper? Global warming, third world poverty, or the Linbergh baby, maybe?" he drawled out.

I glared at him as I answered. "I know it's not my fault that I couldn't help Alice, Peter. It's just hard to see someone I cared about in that condition."

We looked up as Carlisle entered the room. "I brought you the new medication, Bella. It'll still make you drowsy, but I don't think it will bother your stomach."

"Thanks, Carlisle," she said as she swallowed the pills with water. She asked me to help her into the bathroom so she could change into pajamas and finish her night time routine. I immediately complied, returning to the bedroom while I waited for her to finish.

"Jasper, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation," Carlisle began, as we all laughed shortly. Privacy was impossible in a house full of vampires, and you either learned to live with it or you lived on your own. "I hope you don't feel guilty about Alice. We're all so grateful that you were willing to try to help, despite how your relationship ended."

"I'll always care about her, Carlisle. She helped get me to where I am today, and that will always mean something. It broke my heart to see her that way."

I heard Bella's footsteps and stood up to meet her at the doorway. I moved to lift her, but she shook her head as she began to walk across the room. She leaned heavily on me, and by the time we reached the bed, she was shaking with fatigue and pain. I settle her down in bed and tucked her into her favorite sleeping position.

She fought a yawn as she shifted around gingerly. "You know, what we need is a vampire whisperer," she slurred out. I smiled down at her, realizing the pain med was kicking in and making her goofy. Peter and Carlisle looked confused, and she quickly elaborated. "You know, like that dog whisperer guy. The dog is all crazy and barking and everything, and then he comes in and two minutes later the dog is sitting at his feet, completely calm. We need that for Alice," she said enthusiastically. "Aren't there any vampire shrinks around?"

Carlisle shook his head in amusement as he walked out of the room, but I noticed Peter's eyes light up and felt a flash of hope from him. "What is it?" I demanded quietly as I listened to Bella's heart slow into a peaceful rhythm.

"Little Bird, ya just gave me an idea," he muttered as he watched her eyelids drift down.

"That's good," she mumbled, her eyes still closed. "Let me know if you have any other problems you need solved tomorrow."

"Good night, Silly Girl," I whispered as she drifted into sleep. Turning my attention back to Peter, I gave him a hard glare. "What has you so hopeful?" I asked in a vampire whisper.

He shook his head. "Just remembered somebody I ran across once that might be able ta help Alice," he said somberly. "I'll have ta make a few calls and see if I can track the guy down. I'll let ya know more if I make any headway. But before I do that," he continued, his expression and tone dead serious, "tell me how we're gonna take care of those fucks that hurt your girl."

I flashed him a deadly smile and we whispered plans until Peter excused himself to start making phone calls about his vampire whisperer. After he left, I snuggled into Bella, wrapping myself around her as tightly as I could without hurting her. This tiny, strong woman was the center of my universe, and I was never going to let her go. 

**AN- Wow, everybody! Just, Wow! I was blown away by my record number of reviews last chapter! Thank you all so much! I would never slow down or hold material in exchange for reviews, but the awesome response really motivated me, and I really did write faster, hence the quick update! **

**My Dear MM, how do I love thee? Let's see, what a week! Thank you for letting me scream and then fixing the problem, thank you for "holding my hand" while I cry for a stranger, thank you for knowing when I need kisses and when I need spanks. You are just a great friend.**

**I found a fic I'm obsessing over. Through Dominant Eyes by tench11. She's just getting started, but I am predicting big things for this one! Check it out and leave her love!**

**Have a safe and happy Independence Day to all my friends here in the USA! Please don't drink and drive!**

**Love to you all!**

**heavyinfinity **


	17. Chapter 17

**Sorry so late, long AN to follow!**

**Ok- I meant to put this on last chapter but I forgot. So, I went back to research the books for Peter and Charlotte because I wanted to be accurate. Turns out, they are never described. At all. Everything we know and love about them is from Colliding Meteors by idreamofeddy. Thanks to Pandora's Hand and Adipocere for telling me where to give credit!**

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer. **

**Beta'd by the spectacular mynxi. Got my bandaids all packed, baby, I'm on my way to kiss it better. Thanks for working through your injuries- you're the best!**

**This chapter is dedicated to luv4jake and bstewsparkle.**

Chapter Seventeen

**JPOV**

I lay next to Bella, enjoying the steady rhythm of her breathing as she slept. I had convinced her to stay with Carlisle and Esme for two more days to allow her body a chance to rest before driving back to Manhattan. However, last night she had informed me in no uncertain terms that she was ready to go home.

Carlisle, Esme and Emmett had all tried not to push her, but I could tell their constant hopeful expressions were annoying her. She was also frustrated by the way the Cullens persistebtly treated Peter like he was seconds away from draining her. Peter honestly found it amusing; he and I had stopped trying to convince them otherwise, but Bella found it insulting.

I gazed down at her sleeping face, noticing that the bruises were already fading to a yellow green color. She was still in significant pain, especially in the mornings, but she was moving around on her own for the most part. I was certain that being back at home and away from the constant surveillance of the Cullen family would speed her recovery.

I heard Peter speaking quietly into his cell phone from the next room. He had made several phone calls to other nomads he kept in touch with, but no one had been able to offer him any information on the vampire whisperer Bella had reminded him of. He still wouldn't give us any details, saying that unless he could track the guy down, it was pointless to get excited about what he might be able to do for Alice.

He had also been in frequent contact with Charlotte, updating her on Bella's appearance in my life and everything that had taken place while they were in Europe. With Jenks' eager and highly priced assistance, Char had purchased a large home in an isolated area of Montana. She was fully immersed in the necessary remodeling, hoping to finish it before the three of us joined her.

Bella's rapid heart rate clued me in that she was falling into another nightmare. "No," she moaned. "Don't leave me, please!" Her voice was quiet, but full of fear. I immediately shifted her into my lap and wrapped my arms around her, hoping I would be able to soothe her without waking her.

Her eyes remained closed, but she began to shake her head back and forth as she whimpered. "No, don't leave me alone," she begged.

"Wake up, Sweetheart," I murmured as I rubbed her arms. "You're not alone, I will never leave you." Her fingers clutched my shirt tightly as she struggled to wake up from the heavy sleep her pain meds induced. "That's it, Baby, come back to me," I said as she dragged her eyelids up to look at me, fear and confusion written on her face.

"I have you, Bella. It was just a bad dream," I whispered as she stared at me. "That's right, I'm here. I will never leave you." Her eyes finally started to clear as she became more alert. "Take your time and wake up, Sweetheart. Your pain pills just make you groggy." She closed her eyes and snuggled her face into my chest while I ran my fingers gently up and down her spine.

"That one was pretty bad, huh Bella?" I asked softly.

She nodded her head without looking up and whispered her answer into my shirt. "Yeah. I think maybe the medication is making the dreams more vivid." She looked up at me, her eyes still reflecting the fear from her dream. "I was all alone again," she began haltingly. "I was alone, and I just couldn't handle it. I don't know what I would ever do if I lost you."

I gazed down into her huge eyes, struggling to find words that would reassure her of my commitment to her without pushing her away. We both looked up as the bedroom door swung open and Peter sauntered into the room.

"Not gonna happen, Darlin', so don't go wastin' time worryin' 'bout it," he drawled out with a grin as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "He ain't gonna let ya go, and even if he did, ya got me now to go kick his ass for ya!"

I rolled my eyes at his deeply exaggerated accent, but my heart lifted when I felt Bella's answering giggle.

Peter grinned back at her before allowing his face to become serious. "I meant what I said when I called you my little sister, Bella. I'm in your life, regardless of whatever happens between you and this asshole."

She reached her tiny hand for his and smiled sweetly at him. "I know that, Peter, but it's nice to hear again just the same," she replied as she turned to face me. "Just like I know this asshole isn't going anywhere," she teased as she patted my thigh.

I smiled down at her before shooting another glare at Peter. "Good thing for you she's right. I'd hate for you to have to hurt yourself trying to kick my ass."

"No worries Major, I'll get ya one of these days. I've got nothin' but time," he answered with a lazy grin.

The sparkle in her eyes as she listened to our banter eased my concern that she still felt I would abandon her someday. All I could do was keep proving myself to her by staying around. She shifted next to me and I looked down at her expectantly. She smiled at me and my dead heart twitched at how beautiful she was as she looked up at me. "Let's blow this joint," she said firmly as she began to sit up.

" 'Nuff said, Darlin'," Peter answered as I helped her stand up, noticing that her movements were much less stiff this morning. She proceeded into the bathroom to take a shower while I gathered up the few odds and ends Bella had collected while we were here. Peter waited in the room with me, clearly trying to avoid being the first to face the Cullens to say goodbye.

Bella finished getting ready and joined us in the bedroom again. Peter grabbed our handful of stuff and I wrapped an arm around Bella as we walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs together. We entered the living room and found Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett all waiting for us.

Emmett stood up and walked over to Bella, glaring as he watched her take Peter's hand in hers. "You're leaving us already?" he asked mournfully, giving her big puppy dog eyes. His attempt at humor couldn't hide the jealousy I could feel he had toward Peter.

"Yep, time to go home," she answered casually. "Feel free to give us a call and come visit sometime," she added in a softer tone. "You can even bring Rose if she promises not to smother me with her affection."

Emmett smiled broadly and opened his arms, pleading with his eyes for a hug. "Damn puppy dog eyes," she muttered as she released our hands and stepped into Emmett's embrace. He carefully folded his arms around her and squeezed gently.

"Bet your ass we'll come," he answered gruffly as he let her go.

"Good," was her simple reply as she turned to Carlisle and Esme.

"Thank you for helping me," she said as she walked toward them. In a flash, Esme was on her feet and giving Bella a soft hug.

"I'm so glad you came to us, Dear," Esme answered. "I hope you'll come and visit again. I know we can't change the past, but I hope you'll let us earn a place back in your life."

Bella nodded her head as Esme released her, allowing Carlisle to take her place. "Take it easy for awhile, Bella," he instructed gently. "Follow up with the hematologist about your liver and call me if you need anything at all."

"Thanks, Carlisle, I will," she answered as she gave him a brief hug and moved back to me.

Esme surprised me when she walked over to speak to Peter. "Thank you for trying to find someone to help our Alice," she said softly.

Peter gave her a nod and a half smile. "I'll do my best, ma'am. We nomads are hard to track down, but I'm workin' on it. I'll be in touch if I turn anything up."

"We appreciate it very much, Peter," Carlisle said as he crossed the room to shake Peter's hand. He turned to face me. "I'm very proud of you, Jasper," he said quietly as he met my eyes. I felt the corresponding emotion from him as he clasped my hand. The words were nice to hear from this man that I admired and respected, but I was finally free of the pressing urge to please him. I simply nodded and shook his hand before turning to give Esme a hug.

Emmett walked up and grasped my shoulder. "Remember, man, you call me when it's time to make those fuckers pay for what they did to her." I shot an evil smile at him as I agreed.

"Wouldn't let you miss it, Em. Jenks is working on it as we speak, I'll update you soon."

Emmett moved over to face Peter, who had draped one arm around Bella as he watched us. "Don't get too comfy there, Red Eyes," he growled. "I _will_ earn the right to call her my sister again, so don't think you're a shoe-in for the Best Big Brother prize."

Peter let out a loud laugh and clapped Emmett on the arm with his free hand. "Why, if that day ever comes, I'll be glad to welcome you into the family, Big Guy!" Emmett growled again as he took a small step forward. Peter just grinned like an asshole and held his ground.

Bella watched this transpire with a look of boredom. Finally, she cleared her throat. "Hello? If you two are done fighting over who gets to piss on my leg first, I think it's time to go," she snapped, glaring at both of them.

Emmett looked taken aback at her words and I felt a wave of embarrassment from him. "Sorry, Bella," he mumbled as he turned away from us. "Take good care of her," he said quietly as he left the room.

"We will," Peter and I answered in unison. Bella looked sad as she watched him walk away, but she didn't call after him. The three of us turned and walked out to the Porsche. Esme and Carlisle followed us out and watched as I helped Bella into the passenger seat. Peter was already relaxing in the spacious back seat, messing around with the climate controls and the DVD player. We waved goodbye as we pulled out of the driveway and headed for home.

"Peter, what about your car?" Bella asked abruptly as we finally reached the highway.

"Well, Sugar, I wasn't real attached to it, so I figured I'd leave it for Emmett to work out some aggression on. He'll probably be glad of the chance to destroy some of my property, even if it wasn't mine for very long," he said lazily.

Bella's face tightened as she processed his words and realized where he had obtained the car. "So it's not enough that you killed a guy, you stole his ride too?" she demanded in an irritated tone. "Then to top it off, you leave it for Emmett to get rid of it for you? Not cool."

"Now, Bella, the guy was up to no good when I crossed paths with him. I needed a ride after I was through with him, so I took his. He ain't missin' it none," Peter defended himself in an offended tone, winking at me through the rear view mirror. "Emmett will be fine. He'll work out his aggression beatin' the shit out of the car, and then Blondie can put a smile back on his face."

"Hmph," was her only response, but I noticed her lips were twitching into a smile. I was relieved that she had accepted Peter's lifestyle so easily. Their strange connection was an unexpected comfort to me as I planned the next move in taking down K2. I wouldn't be comfortable leaving Bella unprotected until the gang was neutralized, and the fact that she had welcomed him into her life would make it possible for me to hunt in peace.

Bella settled into her seat and I could tell she was getting drowsy. "Why don't you rest, Sweetheart? It'll be several hours 'til we get there."

She reached out and squeezed my hand. " 'Mkay," she said as she reclined the seat and closed her eyes. Peter pulled out his cell phone and began making more calls trying to track down his vampire shrink. He remained optimistic, despite the lack of progress. Truly nomadic vampires were hard to trace, so it would likely take some time before he finally contacted someone who knew the guy he was looking for.

I took the opportunity to call Jenks and check in on the progress with our plans to take out K2. He assured me that things were progressing smoothly. "Ask about Andy," Bella's sleepy voice interrupted as I prepared to hang up.

I glanced at her in surprise, unaware that she had been awake. "One more thing, Jenks. Bella wants to know how Andy's doing. I'm puttin' you on speaker so she can hear."

"Hello Miss Swan," Jenks' smooth voice rang out. "Well, he's physically fine, fully detoxed, and still pissed off. We've been keeping him at a house in a quiet area of the Hudson Valley. One of the guys on the cleanup team has a hunting cabin up there and he's used it as a safe house before. Andy's been demanding to speak to Miss Swan, and the guys think it might really help calm him down to talk to her. He's been rather difficult to deal with, especially since we don't have any timeline for how long we're going to hold him there."

Bella's heart sped up as she caught my hand in hers. I noticed it slowing down as our peace affected her, but she was still vibrating with anxiety. "Take me to him, Jasper, please?" she pleaded, her brown eyes locked onto mine. "If he's detoxed, this is our best chance to get him into treatment. Plus, being in rehab will keep him away from the gang."

I sighed as I smiled down at her. My preference would be to get Bella home and healed up before we dealt with Andy, but I knew she wouldn't want to leave him hanging like that. "Okay, Sweetheart. We'll make a detour." I took Jenks off speaker and got the address, quickly entering it into the GPS before ending the call. Fortunately, it wouldn't take us more than an hour out of the way.

Bella had relaxed back into her seat and Peter was still speaking rapidly into his own phone. He gave me a nod when I looked back at him, indicating he had overheard the change in plans. I was glad he would be with us. Andy's reaction to Bella and her hopes that he would go to rehab was hard to predict, and I knew Peter would help her handle it if it didn't go well.

He finally ended his call and leaned forward between the seats. "So we're stoppin' to see the pissed off drug addict?" he asked in a cheerful voice.

"Peter, Andy is not your entertainment," Bella scolded.

Peter fake pouted as he sat back in the seat. "Yes, Ma'am," he drawled out. "I expect a complete report of the fireworks when he refuses your help, though." His tone was his normal teasing, but I could hear the underlying warning for her in his words.

"You know, Sweetheart, Peter's right. Andy's pretty likely to tell us to go to Hell," I added gently. "I don't want you to be disappointed if this doesn't go real well."

Bella's face was sad as she answered with a sigh. "I know, but I still have to try. Friends keep trying, even when it looks hopeless."

"Bella, I know you'll never forget what he did for you, and neither will I. It's why you want so badly to help him, and it's why I'm so willing to do what I can for him as well. But at some point, you may have to accept that you can only help someone who's willing to take it."

"I know that too, Jasper," she repeated. "I feel like it's a fine line between being his unconditional friend, regardless of the choices he makes, and being his enabler. All I can do is offer him the chance to go to rehab courtesy of the Whitlock foundation," she continued dryly. "If he doesn't take us up on it, I'm done with him until he accepts help."

"I sure hope it doesn't come to that, Sweets," I said softly. "But I'm glad to hear you say that. There's a big part of me that holds him responsible for what happened to you, and I'll feel better knowing you won't let him be a part of your life unless he changes his."

Her jaw tightened, and I hoped I hadn't crossed the line with her. I knew I had no right to tell her who her friends were or who she could see, but the bruises that still marred her skin gave me the resolution to encourage her to be cautious with Andy.

I squeezed her hand gently with mine and waited for the fallout. Peter winked at me from the backseat, and I was pleasantly surprised when Bella finally answered. "Jasper, I promise I will do my best to make sure you never have to worry about me like that again. That includes staying away from Andy unless he gets clean."

Her voice was quiet, but I could feel the sincerity in her words. I was floored at the fact that she was willing to push aside her natural inclination to help Andy in order to accommodate my need to keep her safe. She had come a long way from the scared little girl who ran away from me when I bought her a new coat, and I was damn proud of her.

"I love you, Sweets," said softly. She opened her mouth to respond, but before she could speak, the ass hole in the back chimed in.

"Awww, so cute," he crooned loudly as he leaned forward. "They're weally in wuv, twue wuv!"

"Peter!" Bella snapped angrily. I braced myself for her to rip his head off for making fun of her, but again she surprised me. "You are a badass, human eating vampire. Stop butchering The Princess Bride!" she ordered brusquely before succumbing to laughter.

I gave Peter a grateful look, glad that the heavy moment was over. The time passed quickly as I listened to Bella and Peter give and take as he questioned her on her likes and dislikes. Before long, we were in one of the more remote areas of Orange County, bordering a state hunting preserve. There were simple cabins sprinkled along the one lane road we were driving on.

"Here we are," I said as I pulled the car onto a long gravel driveway. The cabin at the end of the drive was one of the more elaborate on the road, and I noticed that the windows were bulletproof glass and that the doors were reinforced steel.

I parked the car and got out to open Bella's door for her. Peter gave us a forlorn face from the back seat. "You're sure I can't come meet the junkie?" he whined. Bella shot him a nasty glare as I helped her down.

"Shut up and stay in the car, Petey," I ordered with a wry smile as I tossed the keys at him. He guffawed and pulled his cell phone out again as we walked up to the house. The door opened as we approached and I quickly shifted Bella behind me. "I'm Jasper Whitlock," I called out as I pushed a wave of calm toward the man standing in the doorway. "Jenks said you'd be expecting us."

"I'm Cooper," the grim looking man replied. He had a crew cut and was wearing faded fatigues. "Jenks called and said you were comin'. Come on in, he's waiting for you." We stepped into the house, which was a typical hunting lodge on the inside. Bella held my hand tightly as we walked into the living room, nodding at the three well armed men sitting inside.

"This way," Cooper said gruffly as he led us down a hallway to the bedrooms. "This room is bullet proof, he's totally safe here," he mentioned while opening the door. I raised an eyebrow at him as he backed away to let us pass him. "You're not payin' me enough to chit chat with the little pain in the ass," he mumbled, shooting me a sympathetic glance as he closed the door behind us.

It wasn't a large bedroom, but it was apparent that the team had attempted to make it comfortable for Andy. There was a table and chair in one corner and a flat screen T.V. was on one wall. There were books and magazines scattered over the floor as if they had been tossed around. Andy was lying propped up on the bed with his arms crossed behind his head.

He raised an eyebrow as he watched us step into the room. His face was a mask of arrogance, but I felt the rapid fire progression of his emotions as we approached him. Surprise and anger made a brief appearance, but as he took in Bella's fading bruises the predominant feelings he was emitting were guilt and affection.

He and Bella stared at each other in silence for a moment before Andy twisted his lips into a smirk and addressed us. "Well, well, company at last," he said snidely. "Not that the guys aren't full of shits and giggles, but it's always good to see familiar faces. I was beginning to think…"

"Shut up, Andy," Bella said calmly but loudly, cutting him off abruptly. "Cut the bullshit. I know you feel bad about what happened to me. I also know you're pissed off about being kept here and detoxed against your will. You can skip the snide comments and I won't hold my breath for an apology. What I want from you is your undivided attention for five minutes."

I smiled, crossed my arms and leaned back against the wall to enjoy the show. Andy's eyes widened in shock and he sat up in the bed.

"Here's the deal," Bella began again, her voice softer and more urgent. "You are my friend. You saved me when there was nothing in it for you. That's why I'm gonna do my damndest to save you, even when it's not in my best interest to be around you."

I felt a wave of shame underlying the deep sense of despair and self loathing he was already feeling.

"But," Bella continued. "As much as I want to help you, I can only give you what you'll take. So my offer is this: go to rehab on Jasper's dime. Get clean. Begin living your life again. Do this, or I can't be in your life. I hate that I have to do this, but I can't just stand by anymore while you kill yourself."

Andy sat silently, but the shame and self loathing he was emitting was strong enough to make me want to leave the room. Finally, he slumped back on the bed and forced the smirk back on his face. "Way under five minutes, Izz. Thanks for the intervention, but I think I'll pass."

He swung his face toward me and I felt his anger increasing. "So now that that's cleared up, when can I get the fuck out of here?"

I kept my relaxed pose as I answered. "Well, Andy, seeing as how we expended quite an effort to save your ass from the sick fucks you hang out with, you're gonna be a guest here until we take them out and you're not a target anymore."

"You can't just keep me here against my will!" he shouted as he stood up.

I stood my ground and kept my tone even. "Can and will, son. See, the only reason she got hurt was because she knew you. I have a big problem with that, so until they aren't a threat to her, you're my guest. I know you're pissed about it, but unless you want to take it up with the guys holding guns out there, there's not much you can do about it."

Bella was staring fixedly at him. "Be brave, Andy. I know you loved Will very much, but this isn't the way to remember what you guys shared. Be brave and get better. Please?" Desperation filled her voice and I realized she was making her final stand.

"Nosy little bitch," he snarled as he realized she knew about the accident that robbed him of his family and lover. "You don't know shit. If I can't leave, you guys get the fuck out!"

Bella flinched at his words and I forced myself not to growl at him for hurting her. "And we're done," I said as I moved from the wall and offered my hand to Bella. She took it quickly, her sadness apparent on her face. My phone buzzed and looked down to see Jenks' number. I answered the call and listened intently to Jenks. Bella watched in confusion as a smile crossed my face.

I hung up the phone and listened to the sound of the front door opening. A new human scent wafted in as footsteps came closer to the bedroom we were in. The bedroom door opened and Andy looked up before standing up in shock as he took in the tiny figure walking toward him.

"Gran?" he whispered, his face growing pale as he sat back down.

"Yes, Andrew. I've come to make you see sense and let this man help you," she said primly as she stood in front of him. She reached down and gently cupped his face in one hand. "We can't bring them back, Andrew, but we can honor their memories with our own lives. This isn't what any of them would want for you."

Andy's face crumpled as sobs wracked his body. His grandmother wrapped her arms around him and began to rock him. Bella and I shared a glance before quietly walking out of the room. We made our way out to the living room, where the team members were all waiting with expectant looks.

I shrugged apologetically at them. "We didn't have any luck, but maybe his Gran will do the trick." Bella and I sat down on the couch, and we all watched the bedroom door. I was listening in to the conversation, and gave Bella a reassuring squeeze when I heard Andy agree to seek treatment.

The bedroom door opened, and Andy's grandmother walked out to the living room. "He's agreed to get help," she announced quietly, her face tired but relieved. She turned to face me. "Mr. Jenks and I had discussed a place that's near my home in Maine," she suggested hesitantly.

"Of course. Just let Jenks know your preference and he'll make all the arrangements," I assured her. "We'll have a security detail assigned to him until we neutralize the people who are threatening him."

"You are a very kind man. Thank you both for helping him." She turned to Bella. "He'd like to speak with you again, if you're willing after his poor behavior."

Bella smiled at the formal words. "Of course I'll see him," she murmured as she stood up and walked into the bedroom. Minutes later she rejoined us, her calm smile a testament to the sincere apology Andy had given her in the room. We said goodbye to Andy's grandmother and the guards and headed out the door.

After exiting the house, I pulled Bella close to me for a hug. "You okay?" I asked quietly as I pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"Yeah," she said quietly. "That sucked, but I'm just glad his grandmother got through to him." She looked up and gave me a weak smile. "Now, let's go home."

"You got it, Sweets," I said as I helped her into the car. I started the car and drove back down the long driveway.

"So how'd it go, Kids?" Peter asked cheerfully. "Is he gonna get clean, or do I have a potential meal?" he asked, licking his lips.

"Shut up, Peter," I growled, dreading Bella's reaction to his threat to eat her friend. I was shocked when I heard her snort of laughter. We filled him in on Andy's decision and he pouted playfully at the news. Bella yawned even as she laughed at Peter's nonsense.

"Get some rest, Baby," I ordered gently as she rolled her eyes at me. She settled herself back into the seat and closed her eyes. Within minutes, her breathing evened out as she drifted to sleep.

"Are we there yet?" Peter chirped from the back seat as we pulled back onto the highway.

"Shut up, you dumb fuck," I muttered quietly. "You'll wake her up."

"Yes, Dad," he sulked playfully before picking up his phone and dialing quickly. I heard Char's voice answer him, and I tuned their conversation out as I drove. "Char sends her love," he finally said to me after hanging up. "She's gonna start makin' calls about our whisperer. Sooner or later, we'll track down someone who's seen him in the last decade."

"Thanks, Peter. I know you two were never fans of Alice. It means a lot that you're trying to help her now."

"She never meant any harm, Jasper. Charlotte and I just didn't like how much she tried to change you is all. I wouldn't wish what she's goin' through on anyone, so I'll be glad if I can find the guy to help her."

We finished the drive in comfortable silence as Bella slept peacefully. I pulled the car into the garage and opened Bella's door. "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty," I said softly as I unbuckled her seatbelt. "We're home."

She opened her eyes and smiled as I lifted her gently out of the seat. She winced as I moved her and I murmured an apology. "Just stiff from sleeping sitting up, Jasper. It's okay," she teased.

"Let's get you inside, Sweetheart." I carried her quickly into the building and to the elevator as Peter followed us with the bag of Bella's stuff. I opened the door to my apartment and sighed with relief as the smells of home wrapped around me.

"God, it's good to be home," Bella whispered as I carried her to the sofa and set her down. I stood up to face Peter who was waiting with the bag and Bella's backpack.

"This was in the car too, so I grabbed it," he explained as he offered the backpack to me.

"Wow, I thought it was gone for good, Jasper," she said excitedly as she rooted around inside.

"I grabbed it from the bookstore when I went there to look for you."

"Thanks," she said. "I don't have much in it, but I'd miss this thing if it was gone." She tossed it onto the coffee table and a pack of cigarettes spilled out of the outer pocket.

Peter swooped in on them and picked them up, pointing a finger at Bella. "Now young lady, don't you know these things are bad for you," he teased.

Bella looked surprised for a minute before shrugging her shoulders. "You can pitch them, Peter. I don't even know when the last time I smoked was." She looked up at me and smiled. "I have a hot body guard now, so I don't need to hide from you vampires anymore."

I was surprised when I realized she was right. I hadn't even noticed when she stopped smoking, it had been so gradual. I smiled back, realizing this was a concrete sign of her trust in me. She had given up another layer of her defense system, trusting me to take care of her.

Peter walked into the kitchen and threw the pack away before coming back and tossing a white plastic bag in Bella's lap. "This was in the car too," he said innocently, although I could feel the mischief pouring off of him.

I groaned audibly as Bella opened the Apple store bag. I hadn't given my extravagant purchases a thought since I had bought them. "Jasper Whitlock, how much did you spend?" she shrieked as she pulled out box after box.

"I don't suppose the whole saving you from Alex thing gets me off the hook?" I asked hopefully as I fought to hold back a grin.

"You are in sooo much trouble," Bella warned as she put the boxes aside and carefully stood up. "Now come help me get a good night's sleep so I can think up a suitable way to torture you."

"Yes ma'am," I sighed dutifully as I scooped her up and carried her to our bed, grateful for the fact that she was safe at home with me at last.

**BPOV**

_Been running from these feelings for so long  
Telling my heart I didn't need you  
Pretending I was better off alone  
But I know that it's just a lie  
So afraid to take a chance again  
So afraid of what I'd feel inside_

Oh, I need to be next to you [Need to be next to you]  
Oh, I, oh, I  
I need to share every breath with you [share every breath with you]  
Oh, I, oh, I  
I need to know I can see your smile each morning  
Look into your eyes each night  
For the rest of my life  
Here with you, near with you  
Oh, I  
I need to be next to you  
Need to be... next to you

Right here with you is right where I belong  
I'll lose my mind if I can't see you  
Without you there is nothing in this life  
That would make life worth living for  
I can't bear the thought of you not there  
I can't fight what I feel anymore

_From Need to Be Next to You by Leigh Nash  
_**  
** I hummed to myself as I soaked in the garden tub. It was late afternoon and Jasper was out hunting. Peter was on the phone with some nomad or another trying to track down the elusive vampire whisperer, so I had decided to grab some alone time.

In the two weeks since we'd been home Jasper had insisted that either he or Peter be with me at all times. I treasured every second I spent with Jasper and I was having a blast getting to know Peter, but I was starting to feel a little smothered. Fortunately, I had overheard Jasper telling Peter that the setup for taking K2 down was nearly finished and that D-day could be as soon as next week.

I didn't have an ounce of compassion for the members of the gang, but I was worried about how Jasper would handle being in the midst of violence again. It was bound to bring up bad memories, but I was really concerned that it would cause his guilt to spike again. I pushed that thought aside, reluctant to dwell on my worries about Jasper's plans.

My thoughts drifted to Madeline and a tear drifted slowly from one eye. Jasper and I had held a small memorial service for her last week. She had no surviving family members, but it had been heartwarming to see the number of customers who had stopped to pay their respects.

Jasper had insisted I wear a disguise to avoid being recognized since the police were still investigating Madeline's murder. Fortunately, I hadn't made much of an impression on the customers in my short time there, and no one mentioned concerns about the whereabouts of the coffee girl.

I grabbed my puff and poured some green tea scented body wash into it, working it into a thick lather. I savored the sensation as I washed my breasts and abdomen, but I forced myself not to get carried away, remembering that Peter was just in the next room. I was almost entirely recovered from Tony's attack, but Jasper was still reluctant to resume our sex life, certain that he would somehow damage me again.

My bruises were all but faded away and the pain in my ribs was gradually improving. I was still stiff when I tried to move too quickly, but I was pretty comfortable once I got moving and I hadn't had to take a pain pill for several days. My follow up appointment with the hematologist had gone well. The bruise on my liver was small and unlikely to cause further damage as long as I avoided any trauma to my abdomen in the future.

I had gone so far as to ask the doctor if I could have sex yet, and she assured me that as long as it wasn't painful, it was fine. Jasper was unmoved and just rolled his eyes at me. "_She doesn't know you're having sex with a vampire, Bella,"_ he had said after we left the office.

Later that day, after some intense physical and verbal coaxing, Jasper had finally relented and started fingering me. It went well until I twisted my hips too hard trying to get more friction, causing me to wince in a little pain. Jasper noticed and stopped immediately, despite my protests.

Since that day, I'd been unable to entice him into trying again. I attempted pleading and pouting, but neither had been effective, much to Peter's amusement. If I heard one more comment about feeling "tense" or "frustrated" from him, I was ready to call the Volturi and feed them a story about Peter walking around in all his sparkly glory in front of humans.

_Fucker_, I thought to myself as I finished washing and rinsed off. _Can't even take matters into my own hands with his nosy ass waiting out there._ I drained the tub and stood up to towel off, pleased when I realized it didn't really hurt to stand up anymore. I dressed in yoga pants and a long sleeved T before I blew my hair dry.

Steeling myself for Peter's sense of humor, I opened the bedroom door and walked out to the living room. Peter was sprawled on the couch, his booted feet propped on the coffee table as he watched a rerun of Jersey Shore. Rolling my eyes, I sat down beside him.

"These are the people you should consider for your next meal," I said dryly.

He turned to look at me with outraged eyes. "No way!" he said dramatically as he gave a fist pump. "America needs these people!"

"Yeah, needs them to go away," I insisted as I settled into the couch to watch the train wreck. I glanced at Peter, quietly snickering at his absorbed expression while he watched the nonsense on TV. I was learning that Peter was a vampire of many contradictions. He tended to act like everything was a big joke, but the reality was that he didn't miss a thing that went on around him.

He loved to tease, and he danced along the line of what I would tolerate without ever quite crossing it. He was also capable of great kindness and empathy. He had been so compassionate towards me when Jasper left to hunt after Madeline's memorial service. Peter had popped popcorn and watched 80's chick flicks with me until Jasper returned. It seemed silly, but if he hadn't been there, I would have been swamped by guilt and sadness over Madeline's murder.

He had been remarkably dedicated to hunting down his vampire "therapist". He hadn't reached anyone who had any information yet, but he seemed quite confident of his eventual success. I hoped it was sooner rather than later. The thought of Alice's condition weighed heavily on my mind, and I could only imagine how it was affecting Jasper.

I face palmed after a particularly stupid Snooki moment. "You know, I don't understand why the normal people of New Jersey don't assassinate these clowns. They give Jersey a bad name. Did you know that only one of 'em is even from New Jersey? The others are all New Yorkers."

Peter leered at me and I knew the teasing was about to commence. "Damn, Bella. Looks like you're channeling your sexual frustration into defending the fine state of New Jersey! The Garden State thanks you," he chuckled.

"Fuck you," I muttered darkly as I crossed my arms.

"You wish, Darlin'," he smirked.

"Um, no, I really don't, Peter," I sneered. "Now shut up about the lack of sex, or I'll call Charlotte on you again!"

"Anything but that, Bella!" he yelled dramatically. "The last time you told on me, she threatened to cut off my balls and…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I interrupted. "I don't want to know about anything Charlotte plans to do to your boys, Peter. Just back off a little and we're good."

"Sure thing," he agreed amicably. And with that, we were cool again. I knew the peace would be short lived, as Peter couldn't help himself when an opportunity to tease presented itself, but I would take what I could get.

I heard the door open, so I stood up to meet Jasper as he walked inside. "I missed you," I sighed into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. He was wearing my favorite black leather jacket and his blonde hair hung in damp curls from the rain outside.

"You'll get all wet," he chided as he tried to back away from me.

"Too late," Peter sang out from the sofa.

I ignored him completely as I dug Jasper's cell phone out of his jacket pocket. He watched me with a confused expression as I dialed.

"Bella, no wait!" Peter begged as he crossed the room at vampire speed.

"Too late," I sneered back at him. I turned into Jasper's protective arms as Peter attempted to snatch the phone away. Jasper gave a little growl and turned me away from Peter.

Char answered, expecting Jasper. "It's me again," I said without preamble.

"Did that son of a bitch open his mouth again?" she demanded in an incredulous tone.

"Yep," I answered, popping the p.

"Put him on," she ordered brusquely. I grinned evilly and tossed the phone to Peter, who caught it. He listened to the phone for a minute, his face falling as he repeated "Yes, Char," about twenty five times before ending the call and handing the phone back to Jasper. Judging from Jasper's smile, I figured Char must have something pretty grim planned for Peter when they finally reunited.

Peter looked glum as he walked toward the door. "I'm just gonna take a walk, call her back, maybe get a bite," he said with a wink. "Be back later."

I waved cheerfully at him. "Enjoy your new asshole installation, Petey!" He flipped me off with a smile and a wink and walked out the door.

I relaxed into Jasper's chest, enjoying the sensation of him chuckling. "What am I gonna do with you kids?" he sighed. "Can't leave you alone for a minute."

"He started it," I whined playfully, leaning up to press a kiss against his perfect marble lips. I moaned when he allowed me to slip my tongue into his mouth. Pressing every inch of my body against his I ran my hands down his back and grabbed his ass.

"Before you get carried away," he murmured into my mouth. I groaned in frustration and backed away from him.

"Jasper, enough. I feel fine, I want sex, and if you're not interested, then go find something to occupy yourself while I take care of things for myself." I glared at him and poked my finger against his hard chest to emphasize the point.

He smiled as he answered. "Okay, Bella, you win, we'll try again, as long as it's completely painless for you," he warned, raising an eyebrow. "But, there's something I've been wanting to show you for awhile now, and I thought this would be a good time, since Peter will be busy for a few hours."

Curiosity piqued in me as I stepped back and watched him pull a large box out of one of the hall closets. He walked over to the couch, so I followed him, unable to imagine what crazy thing he had purchased now.

"I was planning on giving this to you the day you were taken," he said quietly as he opened the box lid. He reached out and took my hand, pulling me to sit in front of him.

"What is it?" I asked nervously as I reached in. My fingers hit cool glass and I picked up the first object I touched. I gasped as I took in what lay in my hands. The tears pricked my eyes and I swiped them away absently, not wanting anything to interfere with my ability to look at the last family portrait Charlie, Renee and I had had taken before their divorce.

Jasper leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the back of my neck as I carefully placed the picture frame on the coffee table and moved on to the next item. The entire box was full of personal mementos retrieved from the Forks house. Charlie had kept everything, photos, trophies, ribbons, and almost all of it was in this box.

"How?" I whispered breathlessly as I touched the reminders of my life before it had been shattered.

"One of Jenks' guys approached him and offered to get this out of the evidence room for the right price," Jasper answered quietly.

I shifted myself to look up into his beautiful amber eyes. I fought my tears as I tried to thank him. "There just aren't words, Jasper," I began. "Thank you for giving me my past back."

"You're welcome, Sweetheart," he answered as he held me close. We sat quietly for a minute before I returned to the task of looking through the box. The next hour was spent in laughter and happy tears as I told Jasper the stories behind the mementos I was looking at. I shared the stories of my first missing tooth, my disastrous ballet recital, my first report card, and many other memories as the day faded into evening.

Finally, I carefully placed each picture and album back into the box. Jasper had relaxed back onto the couch and I climbed onto his lap. I was completely overwhelmed by the strength of the love I was feeling for him. Sharing the happier moments of my past with him had further connected me to him and I was literally aching to show him how I was feeling.

I looked into his eyes as I watched a sweet little smile cross his lips. I closed my eyes for a second and tried to relax myself enough for him to pick up my feelings. I watched his smile widen as he brought a hand up to cup my face. Suddenly, I felt an intense wave of absolute love as he projected his emotions to me.

The sensation was enough to make me gasp, and in that moment, something clicked inside of me. I was sitting in the lap of the man who was my forever. I had spent so much time avoiding thoughts about my future with Jasper, trying to protect myself from being hurt again, but I was done with that now. There was no point in wasting another second pretending that I didn't want to be by Jasper's side for eternity.

Jasper had been so patient with me, never bringing up any type of commitment, let alone the idea of changing me, but I hoped it was something he thought about. I fought a wave of nervousness down, and he frowned slightly as he felt it. Grasping both of his hands in mine, I opened my mouth and let the words out.

"I want to spend forever with you, Jasper Whitlock." His eyes widened momentarily, but I put a finger over his mouth before he could speak. "I want you to change me, and I want to spend the rest of eternity loving you. I don't care about my soul, I only need you." He stared at me silently, and I began to worry that he was reluctant to change me. "Please?" I whispered. "I love you so much, Jasper. I don't think changing me will damage my soul, but even if it does, I want it anyway. I want to be together with you in every way. I want to be your equal, your true partner. Please tell me you'll give me forever with you."

His face softened as he registered my apprehension. "Oh my Bella," he breathed out. "Yes, I want forever with you. I want nothing more than to spend eternity with you beside me." I exhaled in relief, slumping forward against his chest. "As for your soul," he began again when I finally looked back up at him. "I never bought into Edward's line of thought. The way I see it, every living thing on this earth is God's own creation, including vampires. I believe I have a soul, but even if I didn't, I would change you anyway. The idea of letting you slip away from me is just not something I can exist with. We belong together, Bella, and that means you have to live with me forever."

Unable to restrain myself for another second, I pressed my mouth to his, trying to show him with my mouth what my heart was feeling inside. He returned my kisses and I shifted myself to straddle him better on the couch, moaning as his hard dick lined up against my center. The ache I had been fighting for the last two weeks was becoming unbearable inside, and I poured my need into the kisses I gave him.

"Let's go to the bedroom, Jasper," I begged. "I need you, please be with me tonight." His eyes darkened with passion and the room around me blurred as he moved us into the bedroom and onto the bed using vampire speed. I was on my back as he hovered over me, his beautiful arms braced on either side of me as he looked down.

"One condition now, Sweets," he warned in a low, honeyed voice. "The thing is…I refuse to do something that causes you pain." I started to protest, but he pushed a finger against my lips. "Not up for debate, Bella. I just can't stand to hurt you. So…" he drawled out with a sexy smile, "that means you're gonna have to hold real still while we do this."

My heart soared as I realized he was willing to move forward, and that my need to physically connect with him would finally be fulfilled. His finger still blocked my lips, so I just nodded my head eagerly in agreement.

"I mean it, Bella," he continued sternly. "No thrusting, no writhing, no moving a muscle until I feel you come." The combination of his voice and his words had me literally dripping into my panties, and I moaned tightly behind his finger. "If you move, I stop, end of story. Do you still wanna go on?" he asked, smirking at me since he already knew my answer.

"Please," I breathed out as he lifted his finger from my lips.

"Good," he answered with a wink. His expression became stern again as he moved my arms up to the pillow. "Now, hands behind your head." I complied immediately, incredibly turned on by the way he was ordering me around. "Is that comfortable?" he asked intently. I nodded my head affirmatively. "If anything hurts or is even uncomfortable, you say 'stop'. I nodded again, desperate for him to start touching me.

Seconds later, I was naked and the shredded remains of my clothes were flung across the room. I gasped in surprise, and Jasper leaned down to capture my mouth with his. His kiss was gentle but firm as his tongue claimed possession of my mouth. I clenched my hands together, reminding myself not to squirm as anticipatory waves of pleasure skittered down my body.

Thankfully, he didn't press my control and moved his mouth down to capture a nipple, sucking fiercely as he palmed the other breast. "Unnnhh," I sighed as I closed my eyes and forced my body to remain relaxed. He increased the suction on my nipple as he began pinching the other one rhythmically. It felt like a direct line from my tits to my clit and I moaned louder.

"Be good," he warned in a whisper around my breast. I opened my eyes and nodded, making sure my body remained pliant under his hands. "So perfect," he said softly as he moved one hand to trace along my ribcage and abdomen. "I've missed touching your warm little body so much, Bella," he said casually as he swept one hand down my side and behind me to cup my ass cheek. The sight of his hands moving around my body heightened my desire until it was almost painful deep inside me.

I whimpered as he continued to put his hands everywhere except where I desperately needed them. "Good girl," he murmured as he traced my bellybutton. "I didn't think you'd be able to handle this, Sweetheart." His cold finger moved downward and flirted with my folds before running quickly down my inner thigh. "But," he continued, "you're impressin' me with your dedication."

I moaned desperately as he moved his finger back up to my folds, dragging them through the moisture that had gathered there. "Then again, I can tell how bad you want to come, so I guess I'm not surprised," he said as he slowly inserted his finger inside my center before stopping.

"Oh God, Jasper, please?" I begged as he slowly withdrew from me to trace around my clit. Every neuron inside my sexually deprived body was screaming at me to rub that finger for the friction that would relieve me. I took a deep breath and moaned again, channeling my desire to move into the sound I was making.

"What a good girl," he praised me as he bent both of my knees, opening my dripping center fully before penetrating me slowly with three fingers. I panted desperately as the sensation of finally being filled washed over me. "Is that good, Baby?" he whispered, an evil glint in his eye as he began to move his fingers slowly in and out of me.

"So good, Jasper," I gasped. "Please, I need it so bad." A small part of my brain protested that I shouldn't be begging, but the ninety-nine percent focused on the pleasure I was feeling quickly shut that part up.

He continued moving his fingers at an achingly slow pace before abruptly withdrawing them. I groaned in protest, fighting every cell in my body not to move closer to him. In a flash, his own clothes were discarded, and he stood before me naked. I took a moment to eye fuck him, taking in his chiseled chest and abs before zeroing in on his hard and dripping dick.

He reached down and grabbed himself, pumping up and down rapidly as he watched me stare at him. "I think you've proven that you're capable of being good, haven't you? Are you ready for your reward?" he asked as he climbed back onto the bed and moved over me.

"Yes, please?" I begged as he reached down and rubbed the tip of his dick across my entrance. The thought of him stopping was the only thing holding me back from thrusting myself up against him.

"Ooo, close call," he chided as he began to push slowly into me. "Is this what you want?" he asked, his eyes burning into mine as he froze inside me.

"Ohmygod, yes, Jasper, I want your dick, so bad," I gasped out as he finally slid fully home inside of me.

"Ahh, Bella, that feels so fucking good," he whispered into my ear as he leaned fully over me, his arms still taking all of his weight. The feeling of his cold length sheathed inside of me had me teetering on the edge of orgasm, and I closed my eyes to focus on the tingle that was forming low in my body.

He slid himself in and out slowly and gently. I concentrated on my breathing, struggling against my body's desire to thrust against him. "You're doin' so good," Jasper crooned into my ear. "I can feel how bad you want to move that hot little pussy against my dick." I moaned and tensed, almost vibrating with need.

He pressed his mouth to mine and I opened to let his tongue fill my mouth. The combination of his words and the way he was filling me was bringing me close to the edge, and I could feel the walls of my core beginning to vibrate.

"That's right, Baby," he breathed into my ear. "I can feel it, you're so ready to come." Pleasure began to wash over me in waves and I moaned his name. "That's right Bella, let it go," he ordered sternly as he picked up the speed of his thrusts ever so slightly. He hit me just right inside and I screamed as my orgasm burst over me. I felt myself clench around him and he moaned back at me.

"So tight, so hot," he panted into my ear. "God, Bella, fuck!" he shouted as I felt his cold dick explode inside of me. The pleasure seemed to go on and on before I finally started to come down from the high. Every muscle in my body was trembling with the after effects of my release and I groaned as I moved my arms from behind my head.

Jasper withdrew from me and rolled to his side before pressing a soft kiss to my lips. "Feel better?" he asked casually with a smirk as he gently grabbed one of my hands to kiss my palm.

"Hottest sex ever," I stated vehemently as I rolled myself slightly on top of him. "You're super sexy when you're bossy in bed, and I loved the dirty talk Jasper."

He sat up and kissed me before he stood. "I'll keep that in mind, Little Girl," he teased with a wink. He zipped into the bathroom and returned with a towel. We cleaned up, but neither of us dressed as we lay back down together.

"I love you so much, Jasper Whitlock," I whispered as I felt drowsiness begin to overtake me. "Let's never go that long without having sex again."

"Your wish is my command," he chuckled as he tucked the covers around me. I drifted into sleep and dreamed happy dreams about eternity with the scarred angel who held me.

**Long AN:  
Okay, sorry for the long wait. I was out of town for the 4****th****, it was my birthday, and I was also really blocked with this chapter. On that note, huge thanks to luv4jake and bstewsparkle who have both been leaving awesome reviews as they read earlier chapters. These two really kept me motivated to keep plugging away at it, even when it wasn't going well. **

**The song lyrics were suggested by llianagrielle, who thought they were perfect for Bella and Jasper. Thank you baby! I had fun incorporating it, so if you have a song suggestion, let me know, I'll see if I can make it work!**

**My Sweet MM: thank you for your constant encouragement when I thought I would never finish it. In gratitude, I unpacked the playroom for you. We're good to go, just say the word! ;***

**Thank you again to everyone who is reading, reviewing, alerting etc. Thanks also to the people who have added A Moment to their C2s! I'm honored by the company I'm sharing!**

**Love you all!**

**heavy**


	18. Chapter 18

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer. **

**Beta'd by the mynxalicious myxni. Gotta run, she's goin' all Oren Ishii on my ass for giving her such headaches with this one!**

**AN- The following chapter contains violence. If you're sensitive, skip Jasper's POV.**

Chapter Eighteen

Let the bodies hit the floor  
Let the bodies hit the floor  
Let the bodies hit the floor  
Let the bodies hit the floor  
Beaten why for  
Can't take much more  
Here we go...Here we go...Here we go  
One - Nothing wrong with me  
Two - Nothing wrong with me  
Three - Nothing wrong with me  
Four - Nothing wrong with me  
One - Something's got to give  
Two - Something's got to give  
Three - Something's got to give  
Now  
Let the bodies hit the floor  
Let the bodies hit the floor  
Let the bodies hit the floor  
Skin against skin blood and bone  
You're all by yourself but you're not alone  
You wanted in now you're here  
Driven by hate consumed by fear  
Let the bodies hit the floor  
Let the bodies hit the floor  
Let the bodies hit the floor  
Let the bodies hit the floor

From _Bodies_ by Drowning Pool 

**JPOV**

I opened the door to the apartment and walked in, enjoying the early morning peace and quiet that met my ears. I could hear Bella stirring slightly from the bedroom, so I put her coffee on the breakfast bar. The sounds of the shower in the guest bathroom informed me of Peter's whereabouts.

Things had been interesting in our apartment in the weeks since Peter had joined us. I loved him like a brother and was so grateful that he was here to help me protect Bella, but the close quarters were beginning to strain us all. Peter was a natural born trouble maker and his current hobby was pushing as many of Bella's buttons as possible.

She knows his teasing is born of affection and she puts up with it amazingly well, drawing on some secret store of patience and letting most of his comments roll right off her back. However, eventually he pushes too far and she loses it. Then they bicker like two year olds until I interfere by kicking Peter out to let her cool down.

They always make up quickly and their emotions let me know they're both just frustrated by the waiting game we are playing with the K2 situation. But, the fighting is starting to wear on my nerves as well.

I broke out of my reverie at the appearance of the wonder twins. Peter was still damp from the shower and Bella was still adorably sleepy in her cotton pajamas. She shuffled over and leaned in to give me a kiss.

"Mornin' Sweetheart," I said with a smile, as I passed her the coffee and bagel I had bought for her.

"Lookin' a little rough around the edges this mornin' Little Bird," Peter drawled as he walked over to the sofa. I clenched my jaw, not ready for the bickering to start yet. To my relief, Bella kept her temper and merely raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," she said in an apologetic tone that was at odds with her twinkling eyes. "I'm just so busy HAVING SEX that I don't have time to take care of myself anymore," she said dramatically. She was rubbing in the fact that she was fully recovered and able to seduce me at will while he was a thousand miles away from his wife.

I couldn't hold in my chuckle as Peter howled in outrage. "Low blow, Bella," he whined from the couch, his face twitching at the effort of holding in his smile. "Do you know how long it's been since I've gotten laid?" Bella rolled her eyes as she sipped her coffee. "A long damn time," he continued on. "I'm not used to bein' apart from Char this long, and let me tell you, my hand is not the same…"

Bella sat her coffee down and raised a palm at him. "Trying to eat here, Peter. Not interested in how hard it is for you to spank the monkey." She blew him a kiss as he laughed at her and harmony reigned again for the moment.

Bella finished her breakfast and wandered off to take a shower after patronizingly telling Peter she didn't want her tousled appearance to remind him of the fact that he wasn't getting any.

"She's a gem, Jasper," he said affectionately, after she left the room.

"She is," I agreed conversationally. "Puttin' up with you better than I could have hoped for," I added with a look of warning.

We were interrupted by the ringing of my cell phone. "What's up, Jenks?" I asked abruptly, hoping for progress on the setup we were planning for Alex and his minions. I listened intently, a deadly sense of calm falling over me as my vampire mind kicked into high gear.

"Excellent," I replied after he finished updating me. "Make sure you go over the instructions with your team again. It's imperative that they vacate the premises immediately after me and _my_ team arrive. Failure to do so is extremely likely to result in friendly fire casualties, and I don't want that on me," I ordered in a hard tone. Our setup required the presence of the human team to get our targets where we needed them, but I was worried that curiosity about the fate of the gang would cause someone to stray from the plan.

"I'll be sure to reinforce that with them, Mr. Whitlock, but they're very well trained. I anticipate no difficulties with following the plans we've made. You're paying them enough not to be too curious," he assured me.

"Good. I'll be in touch before my team arrives on scene." I ended the call and looked over at Peter's smiling face.

"Hell yeah, go time," he enthused.

We both turned as Bella walked back into the room, her expression serious. "Tonight?" she asked quietly, stepping into my waiting arms.

"Tonight," I said softly into her hair. "This will all be over after tonight." I felt her anxiety spike before she pushed it down.

"Don't tell me you're worried about us," Peter said in amazement. "This is no contest, Little Bird. Victory is assured."

"I know that Peter," Bella answered quietly. I could see the concern remained in her eyes, but I didn't want to press her in front of Peter.

Bella stood up on her tiptoes to give me a kiss before heading into the kitchen to clean up after her breakfast. I called Emmett, smiling at his enthusiasm for the night's planned events. He assured me he would be here in plenty of time to join us and we hung up. Bella joined Peter on the sofa, looking at the TV with a distracted expression on her face.

"I need to hunt," I said softly, shooting a questioning glance at Peter.

"No thanks, J," he said with a laugh. "I'll eat at the buffet tonight!" His crimson eyes nearly glowed against his pale face as he grinned evilly in anticipation. Bella stood as I approached her and I wrapped her in a tight hug before giving her a gentle kiss.

"Back soon," I whispered, pushing reassurance at her. Her little face was still worried and I planned on getting to the bottom of it when I returned.

I got in the car and drove quickly to the closest State Park. Eager to get back to Bella, I made short work of my hunt, taking the first couple deer I found. I fought my own worry about her as I drove home. She would be alone tonight while we took our revenge. Intellectually, I knew she would be perfectly safe while we dealt with the men responsible for her attack, but I would feel anxious until those men were all beyond the ability to hurt her again.

When I returned to the apartment, Peter was sitting alone on the couch. "She's layin' down," he answered my unspoken question about Bella's whereabouts. "She wouldn't spill about whatever's on her mind." He shrugged helplessly as I tossed my jacket on the table and headed into the bedroom.

Bella rolled onto her side to face me as I entered the room. She looked so tiny in the middle of our large bed, her worried face slightly relieved by a tiny smile for me. I joined her on the bed, lying on my side face to face with her as I grasped both of her hands in one of mine.

"What is it, Baby?" I asked softly, kissing her knuckles as I spoke.

"I'm just so worried about you," she answered, her brown eyes locked onto mine.

"You know Peter's right, this is zero risk for us," I assured her, before she shook her head at me.

"I know you won't get hurt, Jasper. I'm just worried that it will be hard for you to kill without losing control," she whispered.

My heart clenched at the thought that she was afraid I would return to her a monster tonight. "Bella," I said desperately, "I _promise_ I would never let you down that way."

Her eyes flashed angrily as she sat up. I mirrored her movements, surprised at her sudden anger. "Jasper Whitlock, I will never be anything less than proud of you. I will love you and accept you no matter what color your eyes are when you come home tonight," she snapped at me. "Never doubt that. There is nothing you could do to let me down! Other than leave me," she added in a softer tone.

She reached a hand up to cup my cheek in her warm little palm. Our peace flowed over us and I closed my eyes at the sensation. "I just worry about how you'll handle it if you do slip," she admitted softly. "You already have this misplaced sense of responsibility for every fucked up thing that happens, and I don't want you to get lost in a sea of guilt over the assholes you're about to kill."

I opened my eyes, looking down into hers. The love and acceptance I was feeling from her floored me, and I realized she really meant it when she said she would love me no matter what color my eyes were after tonight. I realized that I had grown accustomed to the burden of being a disappointment to those I cared about. Bella's complete acceptance of my strengths and weaknesses was unfamiliar. I didn't want my guilt to come between us, so I struggled to be honest and still reassure her.

"Bella, I can't promise not to feel guilty. I think guilt over taking a life is a good thing, even if that life is an evil one." She watched me intently, her hand still cradling my face. "I will promise you that I'll let you help me live with it."

She nodded seriously at me in response before we were both surprised by the doorbell. It was a little too early for it to be Emmett, so I had no idea who it could be. I linked hands with her as we stood and walked out to the living room together. I caught the scent behind the door a second before Peter did, but he still nearly knocked Bella and me over in his rush to the door.

He yanked the door open, mercifully keeping it on the hinges as the tiny blonde woman flew into his arms. I glanced at Bella, who was smiling at the scene in front of us. "Charlotte, I presume?" she smirked up at me as we watched Peter and his wife suck face unabashedly.

"None other," I confirmed as Bella and I walked over to the sofa to give them a modicum of privacy. I sat back and enjoyed the feeling of their love, strong and focused as it has been since the day Peter whisked her away from Maria's death order. I tried to block the strong lust they were also projecting, but I was only partially successful.

Bella giggled when she noticed the physical evidence of my difficulty. Unable to resist the chance to tease her, I wiggled my eyebrows and pulled her onto my lap. "Climb on, Baby," I ordered in a cheesy voice. She laughed out loud as she fell on top of me, pressing sloppy kisses all over my face. The sight of her smiling down at me was breathtaking and I tried to memorize every detail of her happy expression.

"Bella, if you'll stop molesting Jasper, I'll introduce you to my wife," Peter drawled out in a bored tone.

"Don't you mind him, Sugar," a sultry voice chimed in as Bella climbed gracefully off of me. "He's just grouchy from the sexual frustration an' all."

Bella laughed out loud again as she stood up and walked over to Charlotte, who immediately squeezed her into a tight hug. "Nice to meet ya in person, Bella," Char said softly before releasing Bella to step back into Peter's arms. He dwarfed her tiny frame, but her size didn't stop her from running the show.

"I didn't know you were coming," Bella said excitedly as they sat down in the overstuffed chair together.

"Me neither," Peter chimed in a pouty tone.

Charlotte beamed at me as I stared at Peter in amazement. "I finally did it, J! I finally surprised the nosy son of a bitch!" she said triumphantly.

"Impressive and a long time coming," I said, clapping in applause at her success. "I'm glad you're here, Char," I added sincerely. "Thanks for coming."

"Well, the house is ready and waitin', so I figured why not head out here and get to know our Bella." Her crimson eyes twinkled at me. "She's prettier than you said, Jasper. Now I understand why Edward had his panties in such a knot when Peter and I visited Forks and why you're trippin' over your feet tryin' to rid the world of criminals."

I sighed dramatically. "Yep, it's a good thing she's hot, she's a lot of trouble." Bella eyed me in shock before bursting into laughter again, tears running down her face as she struggled to control herself.

"I'll give you trouble," she warned once she regained her breath. She was interrupted by the door bell.

"Emmett," I announced as I caught his scent and stood to open the door. I clasped his shoulder as he entered the apartment. "Thanks for coming, Em."

He flashed a grin at me. "Wouldn't miss the chance to end the fuckers who hurt Bella," he assured me as he followed me into the living room. "Hey, Bells," he said softly, a hopeful look on his face as he met her eyes.

She stood and walked over to him, stepping into his arms for a hug. "Hi Emmett," she whispered as she pulled back and returned to the couch. Peter and Charlotte watched interestedly as Emmett and I flanked her and sat down.

Emmett cleared his throat. "Peter, Charlotte," he said in greeting.

"Nice to see you again, Emmett," Charlotte replied politely. They had only met briefly in the past, but Peter had filled her in on Emmett's jealousy. Peter just flashed him a broad grin and nodded back, winking when Emmett grunted at him.

We spent the next few hours going over the setup and our plans with Emmett. I explained to him that Jenks and the team had posed as a group of wealthy men interested in funding K2's drugs and weapons trade. Weeks of fake negotiations had ended in an agreement with the gang. Tonight, the "investors" were hosting the upper level gang members for a celebratory dinner at a banquet hall in a quiet town on the north shore of Long Island. Emmett, Peter and I were going to be uninvited guests at their banquet.

Bella listened tensely as we discussed our plans. I sent her bursts of reassurance every now and then and she would always respond with a smile before falling back into her somber mood. Jenks checked in again to confirm our timeline, and before I knew it, it was time to leave. The guys and I grabbed our jackets and walked toward the door. Bella followed us, holding tightly to my hand.

I leaned down to press my forehead to hers before claiming her lips in a deep kiss. "I love you," she whispered into my mouth.

"I love you too. Be home soon, Baby," I said softly as I stepped away. I gave Charlotte a meaningful look. "Keep her out of trouble, Char," I added with a wry smile.

"Will do, Jasper," she answered with a grin. "Don't have too much fun without me, boys."

Bella's brown eyes met mine as I backed out the door. Even after I closed it behind me and walked away, the sight of her soulful brown eyes danced in my head as I walked to the car. Emmett and Peter climbed in as I started the engine and pulled the car onto the street.

Traffic was light and the drive passed quickly, even in the steady rain. Emmett and Peter both wore anticipatory smiles as we pulled into the parking lot of the banquet hall. It was ideally located for our purposes, on the waterfront yet isolated from other buildings. I made a quick call to Jenks to let him know we were on site before making contact with the team. After ending the call, I nodded shortly at Peter and Emmett, and in a flash, we were out of the car and approaching the building's back entrance.

We heard the sound of human footsteps coming closer and Peter whipped out a pair of sunglasses to cover his red eyes. It wasn't inconspicuous on a rainy evening, but better than the alternative. The rear door of the building opened and a nondescript man dressed in black swat gear stepped out.

"I'm Smith," he announced quietly. "I'm your contact. The others are just finishing sweeping the building for civilians before we get out of your way."

I nodded a greeting at him, impressed with the lack of curiosity I was picking up from him. "The building owner and staff have all been compensated as we discussed?" I asked.

Smith nodded. "Yes sir, they're all on board."

"Good. The accelerant is inside?"

"Yes sir, just inside the back entrance here. We also took the liberty of making a large donation to the local fire department to buy you some extra burn time."

Peter grinned broadly under the security lights. "I like the way this fella thinks, J," he drawled lazily. I nodded in agreement. We heard the sound of several cars starting before they exited the front parking lot. Smith's phone buzzed in his pocket and he answered quickly.

"Affirmative. I'll relay the info and vacate the premises," he confirmed into the phone. He turned to face us again, and I felt his confusion about us increase. "We've swept the building, all non-targets are off site. The targets are secure inside the main banquet room; you probably have five minutes before they get suspicious about the absence of the staff. We don't have an exact head count, but the catering staff said there are about a hundred people in there. If there's nothing else, I'm gonna get out of the rain," he finished quietly.

I could feel his discomfort about the unusual situation increasing, so I pushed a small wave of calm toward him. "We'll take it from here, Smith. Thanks for your hard work." He nodded at us before walking away and climbing into a black Jeep. We watched him pull out of the lot.

Turning as a unit, the three of us fell into step and entered the building. We made our way through the cluttered back hallway, taking note of the large canisters of accelerant Smith had mentioned. The scents and sounds of inebriated humans filled our senses as we walked through the kitchen area and toward the double doors leading to the banquet room.

I picked up waves of lust, aggression, and victory from the humans celebrating inside.

"Where are the bitches?" someone roared. "Go see what's holdin' up the entertainment!" Seconds later, the doors swung open into the kitchen as a large thug entered. His eyes widened in confusion at our presence, but before he could even register the question in his brain, Peter was on him.

He drained the goon dry and tossed him to the side. "Tasty," he purred. "Time for the main course, I think."

I nodded my agreement and the three of us stepped unobtrusively into the large room. The catering equipment and tables were immediately in front of us, but few of the seats were occupied. The majority of the men were gathered closer to the bar and soundstage located further into the room. I quickly counted one-hundred and thirteen heartbeats.

Smiling, I thought of the trickle-down effect that killing these men would have. I realized that the vacuum left by K2 would be quickly filled by other criminals, but it was impossible to ignore the fact that many crimes would be prevented by our actions.

Our entrance was finally noticed by one sober looking Asian guy, who immediately walked over to us, projecting waves of alarm and defense. Emmett smiled evilly as he walked up to meet him. The gang member moved to draw a weapon from his jacket, but before he could complete the movement, Emmett had ripped his head from his shoulders.

The scent of blood hit me hard, but somehow the mental image of Bella's eyes stayed in front of my mind, helping me keep my focus. Emmett's actions finally drew the attention of others, and the shouting began as the men in the room swarmed toward us. I felt myself become detached as I started killing. My mind tracked the motions I made as I clawed, ripped, crushed and tore, but I felt cold and dead inside.

Peter had his mouth locked onto the neck of one man while he crushed the throat of another with his foot. His crimson eyes gleamed underneath the blood and gore that covered his face. The gang members close enough to see him began to experience true panic as they realized they weren't dealing with a human being. He smiled cheerfully as he stepped away from the body he had just drained and stalked toward the next target. The doomed fucker tried to run, but there was nowhere to go. Within seconds, his body joined the pile Peter was leaving in his wake.

Emmett was pummeling his victim of choice, unleashing his true strength with every punch. "That's for Bella, Asshole," he muttered as his punching bag finally succumbed to his massive internal injuries. Em moved on to the next man, this time choosing to rip an arm off to use as a bat on the guy's head.

As the three of us tore into the men attacking us, the rest of the men in the room began to notice that their friends were being slaughtered. We were savagely efficient, and over half of the men present were already dead. Several guys attempted the exit doors, cursing when they discovered they had been locked inside. Complete chaos descended as we continued our progress toward the end of the room where Alex and the other upper level members were seated near the bar, their expressions shocked as they watched the bloodbath in front of them.

Futile bullets flew toward the three of us as we moved apart, killing anyone within our reach. I locked eyes with Alex as I tore the arms off of the man in front of me before crushing his windpipe. I honed in on the panicked mix of emotions he was projecting- disbelief, anger, and desperation all warred within him. Unfortunately, he was still devoid of the only emotion I wanted him to experience.

Moving on to the next man standing between us, I smiled evilly before snapping his spine over my knee. Alex took a step backward before bumping into the bar, frantically searching for a possible escape. I shook my head chidingly at him as I continued inexorably toward him, killing anyone who stood in my path.

The decreasing intensity of the screams around me alerted me to the fact that Emmett and Peter were making quick progress dispatching the men remaining in the room. I continued moving forward until I finally backed Alex up against the bar.

"Let me get you a drink," I said casually as I lifted him roughly onto a bar stool and shoved an abandoned beverage into his hand.

At last, I felt the fear I had been craving from him. "What _are_ you people?" he whispered. His disbelief at what he was witnessing was written all over his pale face.

"We're the stuff of nightmares," I answered matter-of-factly.

"You arranged all of this to get to me?" he asked, clearly trying to buy some time. "All this over the girl?" I simply nodded in reply as I leaned over him, relishing the spike of terror my movement elicited.

"What can I give you to let me go?" he whispered, nearly choking from the fear. "Clearly, I underestimated her value to you, but I can make it up to you. I understand who I'm dealing with now," he pleaded. "We can negotiate, become allies. We have a lot to offer each other. No bitch is worth this!" Desperation filled his words, but I could feel the hopelessness beginning to swallow him.

I grinned lazily at him as I reached out to grasp his shoulder with one hand. "Ah, but she is worth it, Alex. I would do this shit every day if I needed to, just to keep her safe." His hands shook violently, spilling the drink over the bar surface.

"There's nothing you can do to get out of this," I said as I gradually tightened my grip. He flinched in discomfort as I squeezed harder. "Bella warned you that you were a dead man, and now she wants you to pay." He squirmed under my hand, trying to escape the pain I was inflicting. "Thing is," I continued calmly, "you actually died the second one of your punks laid a finger on my girl, you just didn't realize it at the time." With those words, I snapped his collar bone. He screamed pathetically and writhed under my hand as I continued to squeeze.

"Now," I continued casually, "I'm gonna hurt you like you and your boys hurt her, her boss, and all the other girls whose lives you destroyed. When I'm done hurting you, I'm gonna kill you, but you'll be begging for it by then anyway," I whispered into his ear as I pulled him closer to me.

"No, please, there has to be something!" he shouted as I started with his hands, crushing the tiny bones with one clench of my fist. From there, I dislocated both shoulders before tossing him back into the wall. Words finally escaped him and he screamed in pain as he collapsed to the ground, his arms hanging uselessly at his sides. I let him lay there for a moment before strolling up to him and kicking him in the gut, taking extreme care to restrain my motion enough to prevent rupturing his aorta and ending his suffering.

I continued assaulting his abdomen, the memory of the bruises that had so recently marred Bella's skin my inspiration as I struck him. I noticed Emmett and Peter approaching and I turned to face them.

"Finished?" I asked Peter tersely.

"Done and done," he drawled lazily, looking at Alex with a clinical interest. "This the one responsible for hurtin' our Little Bird?"

"It is," I confirmed unnecessarily. I turned to Emmett, noting his grim expression. "Wanna couple hits, Em?"

He didn't even answer as he growled low and moved in. I stepped aside to give him more room. He rained blows down onto Alex until the screams finally faded into wet sounding moans as he struggled to draw breath into his battered lungs. His face was a bloody mess and his limbs were distorted from the multiple fractures they had sustained.

I strolled back over to him and lifted him up with one hand. He was limp, unable to even raise his head enough to look at me. Relishing the pain he was projecting, I pulled his head back to expose his neck.

Turning to Peter, I raised an eyebrow in question. "One for the road?" I asked politely. Alex's eyes widened even further in terror as he finally processed Peter's red eyes. I smiled as I took in the sensation of his fear.

Peter grinned and shook his head negatively. "Nah, don't wanna pollute myself with that piece of shit, Jasper."

I snarled my agreement at him as I bared my own teeth and leaned in over Alex's bare throat, closer to the pounding artery in front of me. Emmett's intake of breath drew my attention, and I laughed shortly at his worried expression. "Don't worry, Em. I plan on kissing Bella with these lips, no way I'm gonna taint them with this fucker's blood."

I slid my hand up to Alex's throat, relishing the feeling of the blood pounding just under my fingertips. "Bye, Alex," I whispered as I began to squeeze. His eyes widened and he began struggling against me in vain. I took my time, gradually increasing the pressure as he fought to inhale. Finally, his fragile trachea gave in and I relaxed my grip, watching the life leave his bright blue eyes.

I tossed his corpse to the floor and looked up at Emmett's relieved face. My cold detachment continued to hold me as I ordered them to help me pile the bodies in several heaps before dousing them and the room in the accelerant. We made short work of the grisly job, and before long the room was in flames. After ensuring that the bodies would burn to the point of disguising the manner of death, we walked out of the building into the rain.

Without asking, Peter got into the driver's seat. The trip home passed in a blur as I struggled to mentally step away from the slaughter I had participated in. It was as if I had been divided into two pieces- one side the soldier, the other the man Bella loved. I closed my eyes, feeling adrift and ungrounded. I heard Peter and Emmett speaking to me and then about me, but I ignored them as I focused on the memory of Bella's eyes.

We reached my building and exited the car after Peter parked. As we entered the building through the back entrance, I vaguely registered that we were all covered in blood and soot. Fortunately, we avoided any humans on our way to the elevator.

As I stepped off the elevator, the sound of Bella's heartbeat called to me, drowning out Peter's voice as I made my way to the apartment. Desperate to see Bella, I opened the door and stepped in, my eyes darting to the sight of her moving toward me.

Suddenly, I felt two set of hands restricting my movement toward her as Peter and Emmett pulled me back by the shoulders. I took in the sight of Bella struggling toward me as Charlotte's pale arms held her back. Growling, I turned behind me, ready to eliminate anyone standing between me and Bella.

**BPOV**

_Several hours previous_

I cradled Jasper's beautiful face with one of my palms, trying to pour the love and faith I felt into him. My heart ached that he feared I would be disappointed with him if he slipped and consumed human blood during the violence tonight. I realized that it was a strong possibility, but I didn't give a shit. Nothing would change the fact that he was the man I loved, putting himself into an unsavory situation to protect and avenge me.

We were interrupted by the door bell, and we walked out to answer it together before being nearly blown over by Peter. I watched with unabashed curiosity as Peter tore the door open and caught the tiny woman jumping toward him. They began kissing frantically and I stared as Peter tried to force his tongue even farther into the mouth of the petite blonde vampire who had just invaded our apartment. Turning to Jasper, I asked unnecessarily, "Charlotte, I presume?"

He smiled and confirmed my hunch. I was glad to hear it, knowing that the Charlotte I had grown to know from over the phone would rip Peter to shreds for infidelity. Jasper and I moved to the couch to wait out the sloppy reunion.

I laughed when I noticed that Jasper was being physically affected by the lust the long separated pair was emitting. He teasingly ordered me to climb on, and I laughed again, my sprits lifting for the first time since I had learned that tonight was the night that K2 would be eliminated. I gladly climbed onto Jasper's lap and covered him in exaggerated kisses before being rudely interrupted by Peter.

Eager to meet my new friend in person, I stepped forward to hug Charlotte. Her tiny frame reminded me of Alice, but all similarity ended there. Charlotte's hair was a warm honey blonde, falling in shaggy waves just below her shoulders. Her eyes were bright crimson, but they were also full of warmth. She projected a sense of calm assurance, as though she was ready for anything.

She and Peter joined us in the living room and we fell into an easy banter. I enjoyed watching Jasper's relaxed manner with her as they teased Peter. It was good to see him at ease with the people who knew him best. We were interrupted by the door bell and Emmett's arrival.

I greeted him with mixed emotions, knowing I was disappointing him. I hated to make him feel bad, and I didn't want to carry a grudge, but I just couldn't allow myself to take that last step and fully forgive Emmett for leaving me behind. He was unusually formal with Charlotte and downright frosty to Peter, and I knew he was still struggling with jealousy over my relationship with Peter.

I listened intently as Jasper filled Emmett in on the setup they had used to entrap K2. It seemed like an airtight plan. There was little risk of innocent people being harmed and of course the guys were invincible against the mere humans they would face. However, I couldn't fight the continuing unease I was feeling about how Jasper would react to participating in violence again.

Time seemed to fast forward, and suddenly Jasper was walking toward the door, my hand held tightly in his. He leaned down over me and pressed his cool forehead against mine before kissing me sweetly. I told him I loved him and listened as he told me he'd be home soon. He told Char to take care of me, and seconds later, he was gone.

My heart clenched in my chest as my worry about Jasper peaked again. I jumped at the sensation of Charlotte's hand on my shoulder, pulling me gently back into the living room.

"Sugar, this worry's no good for you. There's no way those humans can touch him, and he'll be comin' home to you before you know it. Now come sit down so we can get to know each other while those boys take care of the bastards that hurt you."

I smiled wanly at her as we settled onto the couch. I was struck again by the calm strength that emanated from this tiny vampire woman. She smiled at me reassuringly as I wrapped myself into a blanket and got comfy.

"You're real good for him, Bella," she said softly. "I've never seen him so comfortable in his own skin." I looked at her in surprise. She nodded her head emphatically as she continued. "Well, he was practically a robot when he was with Maria. I don't know how he survived the emotional turmoil he existed in there, but somehow he kept his sanity long enough for us to haul his ass outta there."

I listened intently, eager for any further information she could give me about Jasper's life before the Cullens. She smiled sadly before speaking again.

"Then when we convinced him to come away with us, he was so lost, Bella. It was so hard for him to accept an existence without constant violence. For years, he was constantly on edge, always waiting to be attacked. But that wasn't the worst," she trailed off, clearly living in a memory.

"He's suffered so much," I whispered as I waited for her to come back to the present.

Shaking her head, she began again. "He gradually began to adjust to life away from Maria, and it was a joy to watch his personality unfold. But the hunting and feeding just about killed him emotionally. He needed to feed to live, but killing people was just crushing his spirit. That's one reason I will be forever grateful to Alice, no matter how little I like her."

I still struggled with the idea that Peter and Charlotte didn't like Alice. She had stepped right into my heart, and it was strange to me that Jasper's closest friends saw her so differently. Charlotte laughed at my obvious confusion and gave me an evil wink.

"Yep, it's true, Sugar. The All-Knowing One and I detested each other at first sight. Near drove Jasper crazy that we couldn't get along, but it just wasn't in the cards for us. I loved the peace that she and the Cullens gave him, but I hated that he had to sacrifice so much of who he was to be with her. He went from being a leader to being the one who needed to be babysat, and Peter and I had a hard time accepting that."

"I never really knew him with the Cullens," I mused thoughtfully. "We were rarely together, and when we were he was just really quiet."

Charlotte shrugged as she answered. "Well, he was where he wanted to be, so who were we to argue with him. But then the little fortune teller broke up with him with no explanation and he was lost again. He stayed with us for awhile, but then he said he wanted to be on his own. He was just drifting along from place to place until he bumped into you, Bella. You saved him."

Her red eyes shone with tears that couldn't fall as she regarded me. I swallowed hard, fighting my own emotions as I thought of Jasper's long, hard journey. "He's the one who saved me, Charlotte. All I've done for him is to love him."

Charlotte reached for my hand and squeezed gently with her cold, hard fingers. "That's just it, Bella. He's never had anyone love him for who he really is before. Maria only cared about what he could do for her, and Alice loved what she tried to make him into, not who he was."

A tear slipped from my eye, and Charlotte shook her head. "I'm s'posed ta be keepin' you calm, not makin' you cry," she chided. "Enough heavy stuff. Why don't you pick a movie to watch. I'll do your nails and we can talk about the guys," she suggested. I marveled at her vampire ability to shift gears so quickly, but I was glad to have something else to do other than worry about what Jasper was going through right now.

I enjoyed chatting with Charlotte while she painted my toe nails a deep purple. "Fierce, just like you," she said cryptically. She kept me entertained with story after story of Peter's nonsense over their decades together. No wonder she seemed ready for anything, she never knew what a day with Peter would bring. I lost track of time until I saw her turn alertly to the front door.

"Are they back?" I asked anxiously. She nodded her head, and I quickly moved to get up and meet Jasper. The door opened and the three vampires stepped into the apartment. I swallowed hard at the sight of them. They were all covered in rain streaked blood and soot, and I didn't want to think about how they had gotten so filthy. But the most upsetting sight was Jasper's face as his eyes locked onto mine.

His face was free of expression, even as Peter spoke quickly into his ear. His eyes were pitch black and full of desperation as he stared at me. I hurried toward him, gasping in shock when I felt Charlotte's arms restraining me. Jasper's growl brought my attention to the fact that Peter and Emmett were both holding him back from me.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing to him?" I screamed at Peter.

"Bella, you don't understand what he's goin' through right now. It's not safe for you to be close to him, 'til he calms down," Peter said urgently. Jasper growled again and turned, taking Peter and Emmett with him as he fought against them.

"He would _never_ hurt me," I yelled in outrage. Turning to Charlotte, I struggled against her hold. "Let me go, Charlotte, he needs me," I insisted in vain.

Suddenly I felt her hold on me disappear as she slumped forward. I stepped away from her in shock, taking in the sight of Emmett and Peter falling to the floor before I realized Jasper had hit them with a shot of lethargy.

"That's better," I muttered as I ran to Jasper, thankful that my limited immunity to his empathy had protected me from the fatigue. He stepped away from Emmett and Peter and caught me as I fell into his arms, heedless of the disgusting mess all over him. I wrapped my own arms around him and he carefully sank to his knees as he cradled me to his chest. He pressed his face into my neck and I rubbed his back as I felt him inhaling deeply. I felt our special peace wash over me, and I hoped he was able to sense it through his turmoil.

"Bella, you don't know what you're dealing with," Peter said weakly from the floor. "You need to back away from him…"

I cut him off as I felt Jasper's low growl rumble against my body. "Peter, I know this nonsense is coming from a good place," I said vehemently. "But I don't need your instructions on how to love him. Now shut up and butt out."

I pressed my lips against the side of Jasper's head. "Come on, Baby. Let's go get you cleaned up," I whispered as I stood. I tugged gently on him, and he allowed me to guide him to a standing position. He followed me wordlessly into the bathroom where I nudged him to sit on the vanity stool. His eyes tracked my every movement as I quickly started the shower and gathered bath towels.

I carefully stripped his jacket and shirt off, trying to keep the mess from getting on the floor. "Time to go shopping, I think," I said softly. My heart stuttered in relief when his lips relaxed slightly. It was far from a smile, but better than the tight grimace he had worn since entering the apartment. I pulled him into standing to undo the fly on his jeans. I slid them down over his hips, taking his boxers with them.

I quickly got myself undressed and tossed all of our blood soaked clothing out of the bathroom. Jasper was still standing in front of the shower. I walked back to him and pulled him into the shower with me, standing us both under the hot water. After a moment, I nudged him to sit on the marble bench, allowing me to reach him more easily.

I knelt in front of him, using my fingers to brush the wet, grimy hair out of his face. "I know you're feeling lost right now," I said softly. "But it's okay, because I have you. I know who you are, I love who you are, and I have you right where you're supposed to be. So you take your time and let me take care of you."

He closed his eyes and reached for my hand to press a kiss into my palm. My heart beat easier at yet another sign that he was coming back to me. I reached for the shampoo and lathered his hair carefully, massaging his scalp as I worked. I grabbed the hose extension and tipped his head back to carefully rinse the soap away.

I repeated the process to cleanse his body, taking my time to lavish attention on each part. I pressed kisses along his scars and smiled as he reached one hand up to touch my head. I moved my soapy hands along his chiseled abdomen and over his perfect thighs before reaching his calves and feet. I neglected no part of him as I tried to paint my love onto him with my touch.

Leaning back, I looked up at his face. His eyes were closed and his head was resting on the shower wall. Determined to bring him back to me, body and soul, I leaned forward and quickly pushed his thighs apart before taking his dick into my mouth.

I gave a long suck, smiling as he grew instantly hard. Releasing him with a pop I looked up see to Jasper's startled eyes staring down at me. "Got your attention now?" I said in a sultry tone. He didn't answer but his eyes were now full of desire instead of turmoil. "Good," I said confidently. "Now sit back and let me see if all those lessons my stripper friends gave me were any good."

With that, I took his now ramrod erect dick back into my mouth, running my tongue along the bottom ridge before lapping enthusiastically at the head. I smiled as he twitched in my mouth, his hips lifting slightly to increase my contact. My own arousal began to increase as I took him deep and sucked hard, using my hand around what I couldn't swallow. He moaned and began to thrust gently into my mouth. The sensation of him fucking my mouth made my core ache for him.

I hummed around his dick and ran my teeth firmly along his length. In the next instant, I found myself on his lap, impaled around his dick as he used his hands to lift me up and down over his hard length. The pleasure pierced my body and I leaned back to allow him even deeper inside me. He hit me in just the right spot and I screamed my pleasure.

"Right there, Jasper. Right there! Oh my God!" My orgasm broke fast and hard and I screamed his name as I came. I felt him spasm inside me and he moaned my name as he reached his own peak. I leaned forward to kiss him softly on the lips. His eyes opened, and I smiled as I took in the fact that they had returned to their normal amber hue.

"There you are," I whispered as he smiled slowly back at me.

"Thank you," he said slowly. "Thank you for bringing me back."

"I'll always have you," I assured him quietly. He nodded solemnly as I climbed off of him and rinsed us both off before shutting off the water. Grabbing the fluffy towels, I dried myself quickly and then got to work on him, smacking his hands away when he tried to take over.

"Come lie down with me. I need to be close to you," I ordered when we were both dry. He scooped me into his arms and carried me to bed, tucking the covers around us as we wrapped ourselves together.

"All that killing, Bella," he began in a hollow tone. "I shut down, like I did when I was with Maria, so I could do what I needed to do. But then when it was over, I couldn't come back. I knew I needed to come back to you, but I couldn't figure out how."

"I'll always help you come back to me," I said, pushing my love toward him. "Thank you, Jasper. Thank you for putting yourself through this for me; to protect me and to avenge me and my friend. Thank you."

He looked back at me and I felt him push his love toward me. "There is _nothing_ I would not do for you, Bella Swan," he vowed in a low tone, and I felt the truth in his words. This man would move heaven and earth my name if I asked him to.

"Ditto," I whispered as I snuggled into him. I felt my eyes growing heavy and allowed myself to doze off, realizing the stress of the evening had really depleted me. I woke gradually to the sensation of his fingers combing my damp hair.

"How long did I sleep?" I mumbled into his chest.

"Just about an hour, Sweetheart," he answered softly, sliding me up to press kisses along my jaw. I giggled at the tickling sensation.

"As much as I want to lay here and let you shower me with affection," I teased, "I have a few things I need to say to our chucklehead friends out there."

Looking interested, he pressed one more kiss to my lips before sitting us up. I dressed quickly in a pair of flannel pants and one of Jasper's shirts. I smiled widely when he simply threw on a pair of jeans, forgoing both boxers and a shirt.

"I love you wearing my clothes, Sweetheart," he murmured as we walked out of the room together.

"I love you wearing fewer of yours," I whispered back.

We approached the living room, facing the three serious looking vampires waiting on our sofa. Emmett looked faintly ill. Jasper noticed my curiosity and filled me in. "He's uncomfortable thinking about you doin' what you did to help me, Sweetheart." I looked at Emmett and shrugged. "I give good head Em. Get used to it or go home."

Peter, Emmett and Charlotte all choked simultaneously at my words. I felt impressed with my ability to shock the three of them into silence. Jasper and I sat in the over sized chair opposite of them and I held my hand up when I saw Peter open his mouth.

"I'll be glad to listen to whatever you want to say tomorrow, Peter," I began quickly. "I just have a few things to say that can't wait until the morning." He nodded in agreement, staring hard at my hand entwined with Jasper's.

"I'd like to start by thanking you all for being here tonight." I made sure to catch Emmett's eye, hoping he could feel how sincerely I appreciated him coming. "Thank you for killing for me. I know you didn't do it lightly and I appreciate you doing what I'm not capable of. We are both grateful to have friends that we can count on."

The three of them watched me intently as I paused. "However, I want you to understand in no uncertain terms that you are _never_ to try to separate the two of us again." I met Peter's red eyes as he regarded me quietly. "I know you know things about him that I don't know, Peter. But you need to realize that the reverse is true as well. I know him in ways you don't and there are things that I can do for him that you can't."

"Damn straight," Jasper muttered into my hair. I couldn't stop my laugh as I realized he was talking about my form of sexual healing. Charlotte giggled as Peter's eyes grew wide and Emmett choked back a laugh as they all caught on.

I was relieved that the tension among us was dissipating, but I wasn't quite done. "I know you were trying to protect me, but if you're going to be around us, you need to know that we're always better together. I don't care what the issue is, separating us is not the answer. Got it?" I asked, briefly locking gazes with all of them.

"I believe we've got it down pat, Sugar," Charlotte drawled wryly. "Don't worry, I'll make sure Peter doesn't injure himself when he steps down as the reigning Jasper expert." Peter glared at her for a moment before looking sheepish.

"Sorry, Bella, Jasper. From now on, I'm deferring to Birdy here on all matters Jasper," he sighed dramatically. Charlotte rolled her eyes and smacked him gently on the back of the head.

Emmett laughed loudly at Peter's outraged howl. "I think you and I are gonna get along fine, Blondie," he said to Charlotte. "We sure do think alike." Charlotte grinned back at him. Before Peter could put his two cents in, I stood up.

"Alright, the human is now going to sleep. Keep your fuckery to a quiet roar, and I'll see you in the morning."

I blew them kisses and pulled Jasper up to walk beside me as I headed back to the bedroom, content in the knowledge that he was right where he was supposed to be.

**AN- Hope Alex's end was vicious enough for all you Andy lovers!**

**My dear MM- thank you so much for your kick ass suggestions for the fight sequence and for all that you do. I'm sorry you had a rough week baby, you can take it out on my tush! **

**Ok, folks. I'm packin' the girls off to grandma's again for 10 days, so don't look for the next chapter for at least two weeks. Thank you for your patience!**

**If you're looking for something to read, check out Luv4Jake's blog:****http:/luv4jake(dot)blogspot(dot)com****. She has some great recommendations and a ton of fics that I'm looking forward to reading!**

**Fic I'm currently obsessing over: Raw and Rosy by tuesdaymidnight. Slashy, spanky high school awesomeness. She calls it PWP, but I'm loving the character development that's going on in between the sex!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorry for the terribly long wait, explanation to follow. Now, for the important stuff! I am STILL doing a happy dance, because while I was away, I broke 1000 reviews! I love every single one of you who reads this story, but I'm sending Jasper to kiss each and every one of you who reviewed and helped me break 1K! I've enjoyed chatting with you all so much!**

**Beta'd by mynxi, who took time out from polishing that bright and shiny Master's degree she just earned to make my story better. Congratulations baby!**

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer. My kids stole my Jasper action figure, so I don't really even own that anymore ****.**

Chapter Nineteen

**BPOV**

I groaned as I rolled over in bed and cracked an eye open to check the clock. It was only seven o'clock, meaning I'd only had a few hours of sleep. Feeling sort of like the bottom of last night's pizza box, I registered the fact that I was alone in bed and decided I should go be social rather than try to get some more sleep. After a quick stop to brush my teeth and comb my hair, I made my way out to the living room.

My eyes were drawn immediately to Jasper, and I was relieved to see his relaxed expression as he spoke to Emmett. As I walked into the room, he stood and met me in the middle of the room.

"Good morning," he whispered as he gave me a good morning kiss. "You didn't sleep much. Are you sure you don't want to go back to bed?"

"Nah, I don't want to miss out on the vampire party," I teased as I sat down on the couch next to Charlotte. "Hope you guys didn't have too much fun while I slept!"

Emmett smiled at me from across the room. "The party doesn't start until you walk in," he teased, tossing the game controller gently onto the coffee table. "But I should probably get going soon. Rose is alone with Alice, and I hate to leave her dealing with that on her own. I just didn't want to leave without saying 'bye' to you, Bella."

My heart tugged as I looked at his earnest face. Despite my hesitation about letting him back into my life, he had dropped everything to come down here and slaughter people for me. It was hard to let go of the hurt I still felt at being abandoned by the Cullens, but I knew that Emmett deserved a second chance.

"How 'bout taking me out for a quick breakfast first, Em?" I asked hesitantly. His eyes lit up as he leaned forward.

"Sure, Bella. That'd be great," he answered quickly.

"Just give me a minute to get dressed, and we'll go." Jasper flashed me a thumbs up sign as I turned to leave the room. He had been nothing but supportive of my attitude toward the other Cullens, but I knew he would be glad that I was taking steps to rebuild my relationship with Emmett.

I dressed quickly and made my way back out to the living area. Emmett was waiting eagerly by the door, a huge grin crossing his dimpled face. I couldn't help smiling back at him as I walked over. In a flash, Jasper was by my side, helping me into my coat. He leaned over and I stood on my tiptoes to reach his lips for a tender kiss.

"Bye, Sweets," he said with a smile as we separated.

"Don't let Emmett eat too much," Peter called out from the couch, his red eyes glinting with mischief.

"Don't be a fucker, Peter," I said in a bored tone, not wanting to egg him on.

"Don't worry, Bella," Emmett cut in. "We all know he's just jealous that you asked me out for breakfast instead of him." He winked as he guided me toward the door. "Just for that, we're not bringing him anything back," he said in a prissy voice as we walked out of the apartment.

"Lead the way Bells," he said cheerfully as we left the building. I decided to grab a bagel and coffee to go so we could find a quiet place to talk. Emmett kept me giggling with his humorous comments about the people we passed so the walk went quickly.

We stood in the line to order, and I noticed the girl behind the counter giving me a funny look. I shrugged it off and waited patiently for my bagel and coffee. As we left the shop, Emmett started chuckling.

"What?" I demanded, raising an eyebrow at him.

"The employees are taking bets on whether or not Jasper will kick my ass when he finds out you're cheating on him!" he said excitedly. He pulled out his cell phone. "Do you think he'd come down here and stage a confrontation? Maybe we could make that 'Cheaters' show!"

Stifling my laughter, I deadpanned, "Nah, we need someone more white trash if we want to make it on reality TV. Call Peter instead. Char would probably be down with it too if you want to make it even more interesting."

Emmett actually snorted as he cracked up. "You're something else, Bella. I've really missed you."

"I've missed you too, Emmett," I said softly as I led us toward a secluded bench on the edge of the local park. We sat down and I started nibbling on my bagel in between sips of hot, caffeinated bliss. Emmett waited patiently for me to finish, and I finally turned to face him.

Suddenly feeling awkward and nervous, I struggled for words for a moment. His toffee colored eyes twinkled as he grinned down at me. "Just tell me, Bells," he said kindly.

"Thank you for coming, Emmett," I blurted out. "Thanks for coming all the way down here to kill a bunch of bad guys for me, even though I've been kind of bitchy to you."

His strong, square face relaxed into a smile as he answered, "Aww, Bella, I was glad to help end those fuckers. I would have been pissed if Jasper hadn't called me."

I cautiously leaned up against him as I took another sip of coffee. He didn't comment about my movement, but he lifted his arm to allow me to rest more comfortably against him.

"So you don't feel guilty about killing?" I asked curiously. I had been worried that Emmett would struggle with the morals of killing humans since he had been for the most part successful at the "vegetarian" lifestyle.

"Not for killing those assholes," he answered quickly. "They were just a waste of air and a menace to anyone they came in contact with. Last night was pretty awesome actually. I got to kick some ass and tear a few limbs off without feeling bad about it."

I looked up at him and was glad to see that he looked completely relaxed and at peace with himself. He winked down at me before clearing his throat nervously.

"I know I have a lot to make up for, Bella, but never doubt that I would do _anything_ to keep you safe. Killing a couple hundred gang members was just a fun way to spend the evening."

"Thanks, Big Brother," I whispered before taking another sip of coffee. He didn't say anything about the endearment, but I could practically feel the joy radiating off of him.

"You know, you're really good for Jasper," he said quietly as he stared fixedly across the street. "I'll always love Alice, and I hate the way those two ended, but you've changed him for the better. Watching you take care of him last night was awe inspiring, Bella. I've never seen him that way before, but you knew just what he needed. I'm glad you two found each other."

"Me too, Emmett," I whispered, thinking of how Jasper had changed me. It was good to hear from someone who knew him so well that I had affected him positively as well. I finished my coffee and we headed back to the apartment in a comfortable silence.

Jasper met us at the door, grinning broadly as we walked in. "You've made him really happy, Bella," he said quietly as he helped me out of my coat. I hadn't seen Jasper so relaxed in weeks, and I realized how worried he must have been about the K2 .

"I'm happy that it made _you_ so happy," I whispered back as we joined the others in the living room. Peter surprised me by standing up and meeting Emmett with a friendly handshake. Emmett returned the gesture nonchalantly, but I could tell he was pleased. He hung out for a few minutes trading barbs with Peter and Charlotte before saying his goodbyes.

Jasper thanked him sincerely for coming and I gave him a big hug before he walked out the door.

"Easy Bells," he teased. "Rose'll get pissy if I smell _too_ much like you. Wouldn't want to save your little butt from K2 only to have Rose come after you in a jealous rage."

"Bring her on, Emmett," I joked back. "Thanks for everything." He flashed a dimpled grin at us and gave a little wave before he walked out the door.

Jasper and I headed back to join Peter and Charlotte on the couch. Peter was ending a call on his cell phone, his expression full of excitement.

"Alright Sparky, what's with the eager face?" I quipped after he put the phone down.

"Oh, just a lead on our vampire whisperer, Sugar," he deadpanned.

"Really? That's great news! Where is he?" I demanded.

"Not so fast, Short Stuff. I don't know where he is yet, but I did just speak to someone who saw him in New Orleans a few years ago."

My face fell in disappointment. "A few years ago? He could be anywhere by now." Jasper wrapped an arm around me and I immediately felt our peace flow over me.

Peter reached over and chucked me under the chin. "Don't fret, Little Bird. I figure we'll all just head on down to the Big Easy and Char and I will ask around a little. We'll let the locals there know we're lookin' for him and see where it gets us."

Chills ran down my back at the thought of going back to New Orleans. The weekend I spent there had been weird and I was ambivalent about returning, even surrounded by my vampire security team. Jasper gave me a curious glance, but I just shrugged, figuring I would explain later.

Peter gave me a hard stare. "It'll be fine, Bella. We would never let anything happen to you." His normal easy grin returned to his face as he continued on. "From there, I say we just head out to the new place in Montana and see what Char has to show for the way she's been runnin' through our bank account." He gave his wife an affectionate glance as she winked at him.

Jasper looked down at me. "You okay with that plan?" I was struck by a sudden wave of appreciation for the way he always considered my opinion and allowed me to make my own decisions.

Pushing my love and gratitude toward him, I answered with complete honesty. "I would go anywhere with you." His amber eyes shone as we locked gazes for a moment.

"New Orleans it is then," Peter called out cheerfully.

The decision made, it didn't take long to make our travel arrangements. Peter and Charlotte's conspicuous eyes necessitated a private jet, but thankfully Jasper's bank account was more than up to the task. Jasper suggested that I pack light since I'd need to buy cold weather gear once we got out west.

Charlotte's eyes gleamed with excitement over shopping. I feigned annoyance, but I knew she wouldn't be an overbearing person to shop with, and it would be fun to pick up some new things without worrying about the expense. After the events of the last few weeks, it seemed ridiculous to worry about spending Jasper's money. I was all in; so was Jasper, and the dollar signs weren't important to either of us.

Before we left the apartment, I took a minute to call Andy at the rehab center. I had received a short letter from him earlier that week, but I really wanted to speak to him in person. Our conversation was short and tense. It was a welcome change to hear him sound clear and coherent, but I could almost feel the guilt and regret he was experiencing.

He told me that his therapy was going well and that he was able to see his grandmother daily. Before ending the conversation, he apologized for allowing his addiction to put me in danger. I accepted the apology, but reassured him that I had made the decision to live with him with my eyes open to the risks involved, and I didn't blame him for the actions of K2.

Hanging up the phone, I sighed in regret. I hated the awkwardness between Andy and myself, but I was hesitant to invest effort into a relationship that I would have to relinquish after I was changed. I hadn't discussed a timetable with Jasper yet, but I didn't anticipate being human for much longer.

I took a long look at the apartment as we prepared to leave. My life had changed irrevocably the first time I walked into this space with Jasper, and there were already many wonderful memories here. I looked forward to making lifetime after lifetime of new memories with Jasper, but this apartment would always be the site of many of our firsts.

Picking up on my wistful state, Jasper gave me a warm smile and tugged me gently over to the kitchen. Standing in the exact spot of our first kiss, he leaned over and took my mouth with his. I stood on my tiptoes to press closer into him as his tongue slipped into my mouth. Our kiss was deep and long, and I was panting by the time Jasper let me go.

"This isn't goodbye for forever, Bella. I do own the place, we can come back here any time you want to, Sweets," he said with a wink as he kissed the top of my head and led me toward the front door. I squeezed his hand in mine and we walked out without looking back.

A half hour later, we were seated in the luxurious jet waiting for takeoff. Peter and Charlotte looked mysterious and aloof in their dark tinted sunglasses. We all laughed as the pilot stared, trying to figure out if any of us were famous. Peter kept randomly throwing phrases like "back on set" and "photo shoot" into conversations, reinforcing the suspicions of the flight crew.

I tucked myself into the soft leather seat and pulled out my iPod, smirking at Jasper when he raised an eyebrow at me. I put my ear buds in and leaned against his hard body, holding tight to his hand as we finally accelerated down the runway and took off.

"You okay?" he asked gently.

"Yep, it's just been a long time since I've flown, and this plane is pretty small," I admitted. "I'll be fine once we level off." He gently shifted me and wrapped an arm around me so that I was tucked up against him. Our peace washed over me and I relaxed, even as the plane banked steeply.

I turned the music up, enjoying the feeling of Jasper's voice rumbling against my body when he spoke to Peter and Charlotte. My thoughts drifted to my intense yet brief time in New Orleans.

_Flashback _

_I hunched my shoulders against the damp chill of the early evening. Walking purposefully through the French Quarter, I studiously ignored the frequent flashes of pale skin and crimson eyes that I noticed around me. I fought desperately to keep my heart rate from jumping each time I saw a vampire, figuring that as long as I stayed in public and didn't draw attention my chances were okay for making it through the night. _

_I had arrived here this morning, exhausting the last of my cash on bus fare. Unfortunately, it had only taken me a few hours to realize that this was not a safe place for me to be. I would never have guessed that Anne Rice was on to something, but this place was literally crawling with vampires. _

_I needed a way to earn some money so I could get the hell out of here, but no great job opportunities had been forthcoming today. Darkness had fallen and I was still looking for a dry place to wait out the night. The French Quarter was an eerie mix of Old World architecture and garish neon lights, full of bars, shops, hotels, and apartments squeezed in together. _

_The cold drizzle lent a creepy feeling to the evening and I stuck close to other groups of people as I walked, taking some comfort from the presence of others near me. I noticed a tall, pale figure wearing sunglasses walking towards me and casually turned down the next corner, abandoning my "safety in numbers" survival approach for the "put as much distance as possible between me and the vamp" tactic. _

_My eyes on the busier street two blocks ahead of me, I jumped when someone grabbed my arm. I closed my eyes and waited for the burn, but it never came. Instead, I heard a throaty chuckle as I was tugged gently around to face a middle aged, and entirely human, black woman. She was slightly shorter than me, and her figure was full and round inside her colorful print dress. Her brown eyes twinkled at me, set off by a flashy sequined scarf tied around her head._

"_You come on in here, Little One," she ordered cheerfully, her words tinted by a slight French accent. "The ones you fear will not cross Mama Josie's door," she assured me as she led me toward a dilapidated store front. Numb with shock at the fact I wasn't being drained by a vampire, I followed her inside._

_The room was cluttered and well-worn, but surprisingly clean. The scent of exotic spices mingled with the sweetness of the dozen candles burning in front of a table full of idols. My hostess noticed me looking and smiled broadly. "That there's the loa, my little gods," she explained sagely. "They tell me you comin', and they tell me you need help. They tell me I help you now, you come back and help me later."_

_Still mute with amazement, I just stared at her. She laughed at my expression and tugged me further into the apartment. Within minutes, I was seated at the kitchen table inhaling a plate of beans and rice as she made coffee. I eventually found my voice and introduced myself to Mama Josie. She chatted cheerfully, but made no more mention of vampires as she served me the strong coffee over steamed milk. _

_She didn't ask me any questions and I offered her no details about myself. She offered me a bath and I jumped at the chance to get truly clean. After a luxurious soak in the tub, she handed me pillows and a blanket and directed me to the couch. I spent a dreamless night under the watch of Mama Josie's loa, free from the constant fear that normally plagued me._

_The next morning, she fed me a huge breakfast before handing me three-hundred dollars and shooing me out the door. "You get on outta this town, Little One," she ordered sternly. "I'll see you 'gain when the time's right." I thanked her profusely, all the while doubting that I would ever return to this city again. _

_Before I stepped out the door, I reached into my backpack and pulled out a tiny pewter cross that my Grandmother Swan had given me as a child. I had no memory of grabbing it as I ran from the house in Forks, but somehow it had ended up in my bag. I didn't consider myself very religious, but it had brought me comfort as I had travelled from place to place. I closed my eyes and pressed a quick kiss to it before laying it on the shrine table._

"_For the loa," I whispered as I walked out the door._

"_A worthy sacrifice," Mama Josie's soft voice called out behind me. "The loa say your way will be long and hard, but your guardian angel will find you in the sleepless city."_

_End Flashback_

I shook my head, realizing I hadn't thought about Mama Josie's prediction since leaving her, even when I headed to New York. She had been correct about my angel finding me in the city that never sleeps, as well as the fact that I would be back to New Orleans.

I chewed my lip as I realized what I needed to do. Jasper looked down at me curiously.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" he asked gently.

I looked up at his copper toned eyes and reached up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind his ear. "Umm, how much cash can you get on short notice?" I asked innocently. Peter snorted loudly as Jasper flashed a confused grin at me.

"A lot, Bella. Anything in particular you feel like spending it on?"

I laughed nervously and played with the cuff of Jasper's sleeve. "Let's just say I have a large debt to repay while we're in New Orleans."

"Okay then," he said easily as he tucked me back against him and wrapped the blanket around me. "You should try to get some sleep." He didn't say another word about it, although Peter peppered me with questions about my debt until Jasper told him to shut up. I finally drifted off to sleep, waking just long enough to be carried into a town car after we landed in New Orleans.

Jasper handed me a Starbucks coffee after buckling me in, and I immediately perked up. I watched alertly as we drove into the city and made our way into the French Quarter. I didn't notice any other vampires and wondered if I had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time the last time I was here.

We checked into a boutique hotel on Chartres Street. It was a beautiful restored building, full of the opulence of another time. Our suite was connected to Peter and Charlotte's by a lovely little sitting room. After we got settled in our respective rooms, I took a quick shower to wash off the feeling of travel.

When I rejoined the others, Peter and Char were heading out the door to meet his "contact." They were dressed all in black and Peter hummed the theme to "Mission Impossible" as he donned his dark sunglasses.

"Keep him out of trouble, Char," I sighed as I rolled my eyes and blew a kiss at them.

"Don't worry, Sugar. I'm not lettin' him outta my sight," she purred. "This cloak and dagger stuff gets me all hot 'n bothered!"

I giggled at the image of a horny Charlotte keeping Peter in line so she could have her way with him sooner rather than later, as I closed the door behind their retreating figures. I turned back to Jasper, who was looking at me expectantly.

Handing me a large manila envelope, he spoke quietly. "There's fifty grand in there. Is that enough?"

I swallowed at the weight of the money in my hands. "I think so," I said hesitantly. "The amount wasn't exactly disclosed, but I guess she'll let us know if this isn't enough."

"Do you wanna tell me about it?" he asked simply as he handed me my backpack and slipped the envelope inside it.

Trying to calm my nervous stomach, I met his gaze and gave a weak smile. "I think it's easier just to show you."

Taking his hand, I led him out of the room, through the hotel lobby and out onto the darkening streets. He followed me without questioning me any further and I tried to send him a wave of appreciation for his ability to back off when I needed him to. I was reassured that he felt what I sent when he wrapped his arm more securely around me and pressed a kiss to the top of my head as we walked.

**JPOV**

I tucked Bella under my arm as we walked into the cold, damp night air. I couldn't deny that I was intensely curious about where we were going and who she was indebted to. Her emotions were shut down tight, but her fast heart rate told me she was nervous. She seemed fairly certain of our direction, stopping to check cross streets every once in awhile. Eventually, she turned down a dark side street and pointed to a bright red door in the middle of the block.

"That's it," she said quietly, her breath steaming as she spoke. I looked down at her warm brown eyes as she paused. She was clearly anxious, but I read no fear in her expression. I didn't press her for more information about who we were going to see, trusting that she would tell me if we were walking into a dangerous situation.

She finally took a deep breath and stepped toward the red door. I followed immediately behind her, and as we approached the door, it opened inward, revealing the smiling face of a middle aged black woman wearing a bright pink turban.

"Ahh, here she be at last, come back to see Mama Josie," the woman crooned out in a rich deep voice as she beamed at Bella's perplexed expression. Before Bella could answer, Mama Josie trained her wide eyes onto me. She gave me an assessing stare before nodding once at me and refocusing on Bella. "I see you finally found who you was runnin' to, Little One. Now come on in, it's cold out 'der."

I followed Bella forward, but before I reached the door, Mama Josie held her hand up to stop me, her expression regretful but firm. "I'm sorry, but the loa guard this place against ones like you. You cannot come in."

I raised an eyebrow and looked at Bella. I was reluctant to leave her in a strange environment, but I knew I would be here to respond if a threat to her appeared. She seemed uncertain, as if she was weighing the risks before she answered. "I think it's safe here, Jasper. This won't take long anyway."

I nodded at her and released her hand before turning back to Mama Josie. "I mean no disrespect to you or your loa, Mama, so I don't mind waiting right here. But," I continued as she rolled her eyes and smiled at me, "if she needs me, I'm coming to her, loa or no."

She grinned and made a shooing sign at me. "She be fine, Angel. You wait here by the door, she be back in your arms in no time. Ah, lovers," she sighed dramatically as she ushered Bella inside the room, leaving the door wide open so that I could watch them. "Now child, let's move along before your _man_ gets impatient. What you bring Mama?" she asked, her expression like that of an eager child at Christmas.

Bella slid her backpack off and unzipped the large pocket. She pulled out a large bottle of very expensive rum. I smiled in surprise, wondering where she had picked that up from. "For the loa," she said solemnly as she held the bottle up to Mama before placing it in front of a table shrine.

Mama Josie grinned broadly. "A perfect gift! The loa be pleased!" She moved her hand quickly, and a three shot glasses appeared like magic. She poured three shots, placing one on the shrine, handing one to Bella, and keeping the third. She muttered some patois phrase that I didn't understand before tossing her shot back and swallowing it.

Bella stared at the glass in her hand for a moment before shrugging and throwing it back and drinking it all at once. She grimaced as she swallowed, but to her credit, there was no coughing or sputtering. I knew she had little to no experience with alcohol, so I was surprised she was able to handle it so well. I noticed her looking at the shrine and turned to see what she was staring at. I shook my head, disbelieving my eyes as I looked at the empty shot glass in front of the shrine.

Mama Josie laughed at our shocked expressions and refilled the shot glasses. Bella took the shot easily, and I noticed her eyes starting to glaze over. I mentally groaned, hoping I wouldn't be holding Bella's hair back while she puked tonight. "Don't worry, Pale One," Mama chided me. "She won't take more than she can handle."

Bella snapped out of it at her words and unzipped the other pocket of her backpack. Pulling out the envelope, she passed it to Mama. "To repay your kindness to me," she said simply. "My phone number is in there. If there's ever anything I can do for you, let me know."

Mama opened the envelope and her eyes widened before they became glossy with unshed tears. "Child, the loa are good, and they were wise when they brought you to me. Your gift will allow me to keep my home here. Thank you, Little One, for paying your debt. And thank you, Pale One, for bringing her back," she finished, looking at me. I could feel the depth of her gratitude, and I smiled softly back at her.

"I'm glad to help anyone who helped Bella before I found her," I answered quietly. "Thank you for whatever you did for her."

Mama just nodded as Bella zipped her backpack and put it back on. She pressed a quick kiss to Mama Josie's cheek before turning and walking toward me. As she passed the table shrine, she picked up a small metal cross from the many trinkets scattered around the candles. She brought it to her mouth and kissed it quickly before replacing it and hurrying over to the door.

She stepped into my waiting arms and I relaxed as our peace surrounded us. I began to walk away before I heard Mama Josie call out from the apartment. "The loa send their love, Little One. They tell me to tell you that if you hold fast, your love will be eternal!" Before either of us could reply, the door slammed shut, although Mama hadn't moved from where she stood.

Bella shivered and I automatically draped my arm around her as we started walking. "Did that just happen?" Bella asked in a daze. "'Cause I'm a little drunk, but I'm pretty sure those loa are for real."

I laughed at the sound of her tipsy words. "Well, Sweets, I've been around awhile, long enough to know I don't know it all. I don't know for sure what just happened, but I definitely felt something powerful in that little house. What I want to know, young lady," I said sternly, "is where the Hell you got your hands on that top shelf hooch."

She looked up at me and giggled, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously. My still heart clenched at how beautiful she was in the streetlight. "Peter, of course! Silly Jasper, who else would I go to for expensive booze and no questions asked?"

I escorted her back to the hotel, chuckling frequently at how cute she was while she was buzzed. The thought drifted through my mind that I should offer to take her out drinking sometime. I knew she had never really let go and got shit faced, and it seemed to me that that was an experience every human should go through at least once.

Peter and Charlotte were waiting on us in our sitting room when we returned to the hotel. They took a few minutes to enjoy poking fun at tipsy Bella. She took it all in good humor, joining our laughter when she said something silly.

"Give 'er more, this is gold!" Peter chuckled. Before I could scold him for trying to get my girlfriend drunk, her stomach growled loudly, reminding me she hadn't really eaten since breakfast that morning. Some of Bella's old habits were dying hard, and she often fell back into eating only one meal a day if I didn't remind her.

"Not on that empty stomach," I answered Peter in a teasing tone. He and Bella wore identical pouting expressions at my answer, causing Charlotte and I to explode in laughter. After everyone calmed down, Bella ordered a hamburger from room service and tucked into it eagerly when it arrived. By the time she finished, she was coming down from her buzz and starting to yawn.

"I'm done, time to sleep," she mumbled as she stood and placed her dinner tray outside the door. She gave Peter and Charlotte big, sloppy kisses on her way into our room, winking at me as they yelled in protest. I followed her in and lay down with her until her breathing became deep and even. When I was certain she was totally asleep, I rejoined Peter and Charlotte to find out how their search had gone.

"Well, we met up with a local named Sloane, who says he last saw our 'whisperer' ten years ago, down in Brazil," Peter told me calmly. I groaned in frustration, starting to feel like we were on a global goose chase. "Don't get your panties in a twist, Jasper," he drawled out. "I already made calls to several good friends I have down in that area. They roam a smaller area and come back to the same places regularly, so I have a good chance of reaching somebody who may have seen our guy. It's just a matter of time, brother."

I gave him a hard look as I ran a hand through my hair. "Are you sure this guy is worth the trouble, Peter? You really think he has anything to offer Alice?"

He met my gaze evenly. "I think he's the best chance she has, Jasper," he answered bluntly. "The way you describe her, she's on the verge of complete instability, which would mean a visit from our Italian friends. She ain't my favorite gal by a long shot, but I don't wish that on her, and I know you don't either. So, we keep looking."

"You're right," I admitted, projecting regret for my doubt toward him. "You met him yourself?" I asked, eager for more details about the elusive vampire.

Peter shook his head and smiled wryly. "You couldn't really call it that. It was just a random coincidence that we were in the same place at the same time, and we never got formally introduced. It was up in Canada, not long after we left you and Maria. Charlotte and I were on a hunt when we crossed paths with a crazed newborn terrorizing a little village. We weren't lookin' for any attention at the time, so we felt like we had to intervene. We chased him down into an empty barn."

Peter's eyes were far away as he relived the memory, and Charlotte jumped in to continue the story. "Before we could even talk to him, this other vampire just appears out of nowhere," she began in a low voice. If vampires were capable of goosebumps, I knew she and Peter would have them right now. They clearly remembered the experience with awe. "He just puts a hand on the newborn, and he just calms right down and starts actin' normal."

She shot me a look as he continued. "Almost like what you used to do to the newbies, only this newborn didn't act like he was sedated or anything like that. Just started talkin' to the other vamp like they're two guys who've known each other forever. Figured he was the newborn's maker, so Peter and I were ready to rip into him about bein' more careful, but the two of them just ran out of there without even lookin' at us."

She leaned comfortably into Peter's side as she finished speaking. Peter ruffled her wild curls with his hand and she swatted him away affectionately. Their love was a privilege to witness and feel. It was just a perfect union of two souls, constant in the face of the chaos it had been born into. I could feel them both getting horny, so I asked my final question quickly in hopes of getting an answer before they became too distracted.

"So you don't even know the guy's name?" I asked loudly as they started leaning in to kiss.

I distinctly heard Peter mutter "cockblocker" at me before he answered. "I told the story to another guy years later, and he told me that it must have seen 'Malcolm.' Apparently he has a reputation for handling crazies, vamp and human alike. I would have called it a vampire urban legend if I hadn't seen him with my own eyes. Now," he continued in an annoyed tone, "unless you have any other questions that can't wait until tomorrow, I have somethin' I need Char's help with."

With that they attacked each other and I high-tailed it out of there to hide next to my sleeping sweetheart. She awoke in surprisingly good shape the next morning and we filled her in on the Vampire Whisperer. She reacted calmly to the lack of progress and moved on to sending me out for beignets and café au lait.

Our business in the Big Easy complete, we packed up and headed back to the airport, eager to see what type of home Charlotte had picked out for us. Bella held my hand tightly during takeoff, but she spent the rest of the flight excitedly chatting with Charlotte about stuff to buy for the house. Peter and I wisely kept our mouths shut and left the decorating to the women.

When we began our descent, Bella clutched my hand again, but by the time we climbed out of the jet she was vibrating with excitement about the landscape, the house we were headed to, and life in general. It was a joy to see her happy and carefree, and I enjoyed every moment as we piled into our rented Jeep and hit the road.

Charlotte drove, so Peter called shotgun. Bella bounced into the back seat and leaned forward against her seatbelt to talk to Charlotte. I just sat back and enjoyed the good vibes, profoundly grateful for a break from drama and chaos.

**AN- Thank you all for your patience and for sticking with me during the delay. During my vacation, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer. She has since had a series of health crises and is currently in the intensive care unit where she lives, over 6 hours away from us. I'm sure you can imagine the strain this has caused on our family, and it has really decreased the time I allow myself to write as I try to be a good wife to my husband and a good mom to my girls while he takes care of his mom. I can't even begin to promise how frequently updates will come at this point, but please know that I am working on the story, even when it's only a sentence at a time! Thank you to those who have already sent their well wishes, I appreciate your support so much.**

**My dearest MM- what can I really say? I love you so much that I'm now telling you the inappropriate things that should really stay in my head! The fact that this hasn't scared you away (yet) is a testament to you as a person. Thanks so much for listening and not judging, even when I really deserve to be judged.**

**A final note- I totally gave up on Twitter, just haven't taken the time to close the account. I just didn't have time for it. I'm so flattered that some of you have requested to follow me, but it doesn't fit in my life right now, so don't think I'm dissin' you when I don't accept, lol!**

**Love you all,**

**heavy **


	20. Chapter 20

**Mynxi is my beta-love. Thank you for fixing all the screw ups I made while simultaneously typing in the car and trying to entertain the baby in the back seat. You rock. Muah!**

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer. **

**This chapter is dedicated to BaltiK's honey. Hope he feels better soon! Sending you both lots of good vibes from Jersey!**

Chapter Twenty

**JPOV**

I sat next to Bella in the backseat of the obscenely huge SUV Peter had rented as we travelled down a remote Montana road. Peter and Charlotte bantered back and forth in the front while Bella and I were surrounded on all sides by plastic bags containing the "necessities," Charlotte had insisted we stop for before heading to the house. Apparently, our new home was quite a trek from the nearest town, meaning we needed to stock up on "human stuff" to keep Bella fed and clothed.

Bella was quietly taking in the snow covered scenery as we drew closer to Glacier National Park. I was enjoying the good vibes in the car as everyone eagerly looked forward to seeing our new digs. Bella was nearly vibrating with excitement as the road grew smaller and the elevation grew higher. Charlotte was radiating pride and anticipation at our reaction, and Peter was just his usual, self-satisfied self.

"It's the next turn, Peter, don't miss it!" Charlotte ordered eagerly. "This road goes up the mountain about a mile and ends as our driveway."

"Alright, Gorgeous, alright," he drawled cheerfully. "Stop bouncin' up and down, you'll rip the seat belt out again."

We all laughed at that mental image as Peter drove us up the mountain. About halfway to the top, the pavement turned into our gravel driveway. Bella grasped my hand when we came around a bend, bringing the house into view. I've lived in lot of amazing homes in my life, but this one was definitely one of the most spectacular I've seen. Peter stopped the car, and we all took a moment to admire the house in front of us.

It was a log style lodge, set nearly up against the hillside. The main portion of the home was three stories tall and had a rooftop deck. There were two story wings off each side of the central segment. The abundant windows sparkled in the winter sun, and the combination of glass and wood was awe inspiring against the backdrop of barren trees. There was a small lake, complete with a small pier and boat house, about three hundred yards away from the house.

Shooting Char a taste of my admiration and appreciation for finding such a lovely space for us, I reached over and opened my door. Stepping out, I rushed over to Bella's side to open her door and help her down. Her eyes glowed and her face radiated excitement as she stepped into my waiting arms.

"Welcome home, Sweetheart," I murmured into her ear, spinning her around to face the house. Charlotte and Peter were already at the front door making catcalls at us, so I scooped Bella up and ran over to join them.

Charlotte twirled the keys gaily before unlocking the door and leading Peter inside. Bella and I followed a step behind them, her breath catching when she took in the beautiful harmony of wood, stone, and glass that comprised the large family room. The front windows looked out on the mountain panorama, while the French doors on the opposite side of the room overlooked a large deck and patio area. There was a large, in-ground hot tub and a stone sauna with a beautiful outdoor shower.

"Charlotte, it's just perfect!" Bella gasped as she ran to the smaller woman and tackled her in a hug. "Thank you for finding it and making it so beautiful!"

"Glad you like it, Sugar," Charlotte purred back, radiating satisfaction at our reaction to her hard work. "I took the west wing for Peter and me, the east side is all yours," she said with a wink at me. I grinned back at her, glad that we would have such a level of separation. In a house of vampires, there was no such a thing as true privacy, but distance certainly improved the illusion. Bella wasn't bashful, but honestly, there are some things she probably doesn't want to know about Peter and Charlotte.

Charlotte dragged Peter off to show him their bedroom, so Bella and I took off in the opposite direction to investigate our own space. The main level of our wing had a game room with a pool table and mini bowling alley. Bella shook her head in mock dread at the thought of family game night with Peter, and I laughed out loud at her antics.

We moved upstairs and poked our noses into a few spare bedrooms as well as a spacious den waiting to be filled with books. We finally located our master suite and took in the large, airy room with a beautiful mountain view. The bed was huge and soft, topped perfectly by a simple white comforter and pillows. Bella made some excited comment about thread counts before diving onto the bed and rolling around like a puppy.

Her dark hair fanned out against the pristine white sheets as she stretched her arms up over her head, baring a sliver of her midriff; just like that, I was hard. Sensing my mood change, she sat up and curled her legs to the side, tilting her face up and opening her eyes wide in invitation as she patted the mattress next to her.

In an instant, I was lying beside her, enjoying the sensation of her hair brushing over me as she leaned down to kiss me deeply. Due to our height difference, I was usually the one leaning down to kiss her, so this was an enjoyable change of pace. I brought a hand up to her head so that I could feel the silk of her hair, but I left her in complete command of the kiss so that I could just focus on the heat and softness of her lips on mine.

She deepened the kiss and pressed her tongue into my mouth as she shifted her body to straddle my chest. My free hand flew immediately to cup her ass cheek and she moaned a little as she ground her center down onto me. Eager to get her out of some clothes, I moved a hand to lift her shirt. She froze on top of me, so I immediately stilled my hand.

"What is it?" I asked in concern, brushing her hair back so I could see her eyes.

"Relax," she said gently as she ran her fingers through my hair. She bit her lip and braced her shoulders before she spoke again. "I wanted to ask you something," she said hesitantly.

"Anything, Bella," I answered, wondering what on earth she could possibly be worrying about.

"Well, I just wondered if I could leave my clothes on for a little while this time," she admitted quickly.

"Of course you can," I assured her, "but will you tell me why?" I couldn't imagine she was feeling ashamed. She was no egomaniac, but she knew she had a nice body, and I took every opportunity to express my appreciation for her form.

She blushed, a rare occurrence since I had found her, and looked down as she played with the fabric of my shirt. Finally, she raised her eyes to meet mine. "It's just, I kind of wanted to take my time touching you today," she said shyly. "And when my clothes come off, I usually get distracted by what you're doing to _me,_ and I don't pay as much attention to _you _as I want to."

A relieved grin split my face as I relaxed into the bed and held my hands up as if I were surrendering. "I'm all yours, Baby Doll," I drawled out. She relaxed and giggled as she tugged my shirt up over my head and began running her hands over my chest. I closed my eyes and abandoned myself to the sensation of her warm fingers trailing over the hard planes of my body.

My dick was twitching in the confines of my jeans as she pressed her mouth to my neck. She licked the spot where my carotid artery had once pulsed and I groaned out loud. She gave a throaty little laugh as she trailed her hot tongue down my chest to lick one nipple. By this point, she was straddling my hips and I was unable to restrain myself from grinding up toward her heat.

We moaned in unison and I clenched my hands when she continued licking her way around my abdomen. The scent of her arousal filled the room and I had to force myself to hold still while she continued caressing me. Her fingers roamed busily as she worshipped my scarred body with her mouth. My dick was literally dripping by the time she reached the waist band of my jeans. She slid the buttons open and grasped my length with her hot little hand.

"Bella, can I _please_ take your clothes off now?" I begged desperately, thrusting against her hand as she pumped me.

"If you're sure you're ready," she teased, her words belied by the breathless tone of her voice. I put my vampire speed to my new favorite use, removing her clothes quickly. Within seconds, we were both naked. Returning to my previous position on my back, I lifted her into position over my engorged cock.

I held her there for a moment, taking in the site of her brown eyes dilated with desire while she hovered over me. "Ready?" I whispered. She usually preferred for me to be on top during sex, saying she enjoyed the sensation of my weight on her while I filled her, so I wanted to make sure she was ready for the extra depth she would feel this way.

"Oh yeah," she gasped out as I lowered her body a fraction of an inch onto my hard length. We both moaned as her wet heat slid over my cold steel and I allowed her to slide slowly down until I was completely buried inside of her. She leaned back, giving me a breathtaking view of her perfect tits. She remained still for a moment, pleasure written all over her beautiful features. I didn't move her, waiting for her to take charge.

"You're drivin', Baby," I said when she looked at me curiously. A siren's smile crossed her lips, and she began to move her hips. I just laid back and enjoyed the sensation of her pussy wrapped tight around me while she experimented with different angles and motions. She twisted and bounced and I relished the glaze of lust that would cover her eyes when she hit the right spot. She looked so hot on top of me, it was all I could do to hold still underneath her.

"You look so fucking beautiful riding my cock," I whispered out loud. Her eyes locked onto mine, and I felt her walls tighten around me. "You like it when I talk dirty, Bella?" I asked, smirking in satisfaction at her reaction. She nodded mutely and bit her lip as she shifted restlessly against my dick. She found a sweet spot and moaned out loud. I could tell from her expression that she was right on the edge, but it seemed like she couldn't quite figure out what she needed to do to come.

I slowly and deliberately moved my hands up to rest on her waist, enjoying the way they fit perfectly over her hip bones. She moaned again, and I knew she was ready for me to move. "Can I help you come, baby?"

"Please," she panted, as she leaned forward so that her arms bracketed my head and her tits brushed my chest. Instinctively putting her weight on her arms, she relaxed her lower body and allowed me to take control. Taking care to keep my grip on her gentle, I started lifting her up and down over my dick. She began chanting my name, so I kept going, watching her face intently as she got closer and closer to coming.

Continuing to move her, I gently pressed her upper body slightly back, smiling as I watched her begin to come apart from the change in position. She closed her eyes and screamed my name as she exploded all around me. Watching her come threw me over the edge and I released long and hard inside her.

She collapsed forward onto me, her hair cascading over us. I closed my eyes and drank in her scent, toying with her silken hair while her heart rate returned to normal. I gently lifted her off my dick and wrapped the sheet around her so she wouldn't get a chill from lying against me.

"Love you," she mumbled drowsily as she drifted to sleep on top of me.

"I love you too, Sweetheart," I murmured into her hair, as I resigned myself to a few hours of stickiness while she napped. The time passed quickly as I lay there watching the changing light play against the pale skin of her face.

After she woke up, we took a leisurely shower, enjoying the surround spray heads in the luxurious bathroom. We meandered back downstairs to get something for Bella to eat, finding Peter and Charlotte curled up in front of the great room fireplace.

"Pretty sweet place my woman put together here, huh?" Peter asked cheekily as I joined him on the couch. Bella headed into the kitchen and Char quickly joined her, probably to gush about thread counts again.

I shrugged nonchalantly as I deadpanned, "Yeah, I guess it's alright. The bed works." I kept my eyes on Peter, chuckling as I felt Charlotte's outrage all the way from the kitchen, followed closely by the damp towel she pitched at my head. I ducked instinctively, laughing at Char's indignant expression as I caught the towel.

"I heard that, you unappreciative asshole," she yelled, a wide grin belying her incensed words.

"Alright, alright," I called, throwing my arms up in surrender and waving the towel. "It's stunning, Char, really. You did great with the decorations, the bathroom is amazing, and umm… the sheets are really soft," I added, hoping praise to her linen choice would appease her faux temper tantrum.

"You better believe they're soft," she called back saucily. "Those sheets have a five digit thread count, Jasper Whitlock."

The four of us kept up a playful banter while Bella ate her sandwich. "Hey look, it's snowing," she called out excitedly as she washed up her dishes. We all gathered at the picture window to watch the heavy flakes coming down.

"Only one thing to do on a snowy night in Montana," Peter eventually said, smiling when we all looked at him expectantly. "Family game night while Bella gets drunk, of course," he finished as he zipped around the kitchen, returning to the great room with a shot glass, lemons, salt and a bottle of Patron.

I chuckled as Bella's eyes widened momentarily before a wide grin crossed her face. "Fine, I'll be the entertainment, Peter, on one condition." She paused dramatically, her eyebrows raised artfully.

"Well then, name your terms, Little Bird," Peter drawled out, giving her a mock bow.

"My terms are simple," she announced, radiating pride. "I get to choose the game."

"Bring it on, Little Girl," he teased her. "Charlotte bought out Target's game aisle. We got 'em all!"

"Then Scrabble it is," Bella said firmly, crossing her arms.

"Game on," Peter tossed back as he vanished to the game room to grab the box. The rest of us moved to the sofa and I pulled the coffee table close enough to use for the board game and Bella's drinks.

Char sliced up the lemon and I poured Bella a shot, barely able to restrain my moan when she licked her wrist for the salt. Before she could pour the salt over the dampened spot, I reached out for her hand. "That's my job," I pouted playfully as I licked her other wrist, watching as she broke out into goosebumps.

"Naughty," she said in a throaty voice as she poured the salt, licked it off, knocked the shot back and sucked the lemon in rapid succession. It was one of the hottest things I'd ever seen, but the moment was interrupted when Peter rejoined us at the table.

"Impressive, Bella," he said, radiating amazement. "You took it like a pro!" She rolled her eyes at him as Charlotte opened the box and setup the game.

I gently grabbed Bella's arm, ready to lick it again, but she shook her head and pulled away. "Uh uh, J," she giggled. "If I'm gonna take the shots, I get to set 'em up." Her cheeks were already pink and her eyes were sparkling as the alcohol from the first shot began to affect her. I raised my eyebrow and awaited her next move.

She reached for my hand and turned it palm up before bringing her head down and giving it a long lick. I hissed as my dick grew hard at the touch of her hot little tongue to my skin, and it was her turn to raise an eyebrow at me.

"Problem, Jasper?" she asked innocently.

"I'll show you a problem, Baby," I growled as I leaned toward her.

"Hold up, Jasper!" Peter called out from the hallway. "Are we gonna play Scrabble here or are you guys just gonna fuck in front of us? I'm up for either really, but if we're gonna get a show, I wanna get more comfy!" Charlotte smacked him on the head as he approached the couch, but she couldn't hold back her husky laugh at his quip.

I felt a flash Bella's of embarrassment at the reminder of our audience, so I gently lifted her onto my lap, forcing myself to avoid grinding her down on my dick.

"Shut up, fucker," I replied to Peter. "We're tame compared to the shit you and Char have done in front of me in all our years together."

"He's right, you know," Charlotte chimed in, poking her husband in the side. "He's seen quite a lot of us over the years, Peter."

Bella giggled at this information and I mentally sighed in relief. I hadn't intended to get so carried away in front of our housemates, but the sensation of her licking me had thrown my dick into overdrive. I projected a wave of my regret for putting her in an awkward situation, and she wrinkled her forehead in confusion.

"I'm sorry, I was getting ready to maul you in public, Sweetheart," I said softly. She stared at me momentarily before rolling her eyes again.

"You can make it up to me later," she cooed, batting her eyelashes dramatically with a vapid expression on her face. I laughed aloud at her silliness, and Peter and Char soon joined in.

Bella began playing up the sexy airhead, asking "What, what did I say?" over and over again in a ditzy voice. Once we were able to stop our hysterical laughter, I handed Bella another shot, relieved when she decided to skip the salt.

"What's it gonna be then, Baby?" I teased after she knocked it back. "Go fuck _in private,"_ I emphasized as Peter whistled, "or play Scrabble with this loser and his gal?"

She laughed and pretended to deliberate before answering emphatically, "Scrabble first, fuck in private later." With that, she climbed off my lap and started drawing her letter tiles.

We settled down to play, having a great time jibing at each other and yelling at Peter for cheating while Bella kept up us entertained. She was pacing herself on the shots, but they were gradually catching up to her in spite of the steady stream of snacks Charlotte and I were supplying her with. She was teetering on the edge between "cute and tipsy" and "hold my hair, please," but I wasn't about to interfere with her fun.

"Are you sure _runkata_ is a word, Peter?" she slurred suspiciously, staring down at Peter's latest effort on the Scrabble board. "'Cause I've never heard that word before, and I think I have a pretty good vocabulary for a high school dropout," she continued, poking Peter in the chest as she spoke.

I reached up to hold her hand before she hurt herself on Peter while giving him an accusatory glare. He coughed uncomfortably as he met Bella's wide eyes. "Well, Birdie, I am sure it's a word, but just promise me you won't go throwin' that around if you ever visit Finland."

I chuckled as I watched Bella try to process the information in her inebriated condition. Finally, the synapses connected and she grew indignant. "Hey, we're s'posed to be playin' English only, and profanity is not allowed!" she insisted with a pout. "You should be ashamed that you need to cheat to play a puny little drunk girl like me," she continued, "and if you're gonna cheat, then I'm not gonna play!"

She stood up to stamp her foot, but lost her balance and ended up back in my lap. I tried hard not to laugh, worried that she would be pissed, but I couldn't hold it in. Peter and Charlotte weren't far behind me, and soon all four of us were cracking up, although Bella looked really confused while she laughed.

After we calmed down, I packed up the game. "You're right, Sweetheart. You don't have to play with this fucker if you don't want to," I said sternly. Peter flipped me the bird which Bella found hilarious and soon we were rolling on the floor laughing again.

By this point, Bella was like a blob of jelly in my arms as the alcohol made her drowsy. "Ready for bed?" I asked her, as I helped her off the floor.

She pouted up at me again, looking disheveled, drunk, and completely adorable. "Not yet," she pleaded. "I'm having such a good time, J!"

Unable to say "no" to her, I tucked her into the couch with a blanket and put her feet on my lap. Peter put on some horror spoof movie and all of us continued to laugh at Bella's commentary on the movie. She was barely keeping her eyes open by the end, so I picked her up to carry her upstairs.

"Thanks guys," she slurred sleepily. "I'm glad I got to experience this. I may not be tomorrow morning, but right now, I'm glad to be human," she sighed.

Peter and Charlotte chuckled as Char stood up and gave Bella a kiss on the forehead. "No problem, Sugar. Everybody should get wasted at least once in their life, and it doesn't work anymore after you're changed," she said matter-of-factly.

Peter's eyes brightened at Charlotte's words. "That's it! Bella needs a list!" he exclaimed. Charlotte and Bella stared at him, but I just waited patiently for his explanation. "A to-do list! You know, a list of stuff she wants to do before she's changed."

"You want me to make a bucket list?" Bella asked blearily. I froze for a moment, hoping she wasn't upset. We still hadn't discussed a time frame, and I didn't know if she was ready to talk details. Her face relaxed into a smile as she agreed. "That's a great idea, Peter!" She leaned over and gave him a very sloppy kiss on the cheek as Char and I looked on.

I was touched at the way his face softened when she approached him. The way he felt about her was completely unique. It was a sort of sister/daughter/female best friend kind of combo, and it was definitely like nothing else he had ever felt before. He ruffled her hair and kissed her cheek back before nudging her back over toward me.

"Get on to bed now, Little Bird," he said in a suspiciously gruff voice. "You're half way to a mess, and Jasper made me promise to eat human food if he has to watch you puke all night."

She considered arguing for a moment before shrugging and climbing back into my arms. "Okay," she sighed. "Take me to bed, Jasper."

Peter and Charlotte made the expected cat calls, but we all knew I wasn't getting any tonight. I carried her up to bed and helped her change into pajamas. She managed to brush her teeth, but she was passing out even as I tucked her in. Once she was out, I spent some time ordering books to fill our den with before logging onto my e-mail.

I sent Jenks a thank you message for his hard work on the K2 situation. The operation had gone flawlessly, and I wanted to make sure he realized how much I appreciated his competence. After sending the message, I logged onto one of my bank accounts and set up a direct deposit for a generous amount to Jenks' business account. I had already paid his normal hourly fee, but I felt a bonus was in order.

By nine in the morning, Bella was stirring. "Up so early?" I whispered as I walked over to kneel beside the bed. Her brown eyes were rimmed with red, but she didn't look as rough as I expected.

"Can't sleep anymore," she sighed as she began to sit up. She winced and rubbed her head as she moved, so I rushed into the bathroom to grab her some Advil and water.

"Take this," I ordered softly while I helped her prop herself up on the pillows. She mumbled her thanks and grabbed the remote to the TV. She didn't usually watch it in bed, but I figured I would let her handle her hangover in her own way, and within a half hour, she was asleep again. I turned the TV off for her and went back to my online shopping.

When she awoke again two hours later, she looked much better. "How 'ya doin'?" I asked, laying down beside her.

"I'll live," she said softly. "The night was a blast, but the payback's a bitch."

I chuckled quietly as she snuggled into my chest. She remained quiet and I asked her if something was wrong.

"Oh no," she reassured me. "I'm just thinking about my bucket list and what I should put on it," she admitted sheepishly. "And I'm embarrassed because most of what I can think of is some type of food. I want to cook and order take-out and go to a fancy restaurant."

"Can do, Sweets," I answered easily. "Anything else?"

She nodded absently. "Yep. I'd like to go lay in the sun somewhere, even if you can't join me," she said apologetically.

"No problem, Bella. We can probably even find a place remote enough that I could join you. If you want me with you, that is."

"Always," she said simply.

"You know, we haven't really discussed a timeline for your change, Bella. It's completely up to you, of course, but I wondered if you had a plan, or if you're just going with the flow." Her expression was contemplative as she thought for a moment.

"Pretty soon, I think, Jasper. I want a chance to think about my list some more, but I don't have any good reasons to stay human. Being with you is the most important thing to me, and being changed will let us be together forever."

"Whenever you're ready, I'm ready," I said softly, pushing a little love out to her. She smiled and looked absently out the window at the snowy mountains. I felt a wave of deep sadness from her, so I reached over to turn her face toward mine.

"Something else to put on the list?" I asked, wishing I could take away the pain I now read in her eyes.

"Yeah," she began hesitantly. She swallowed deeply and grasped my hand with hers. "I want to go say good-bye to Charlie, Jasper," she whispered as she broke into quiet sobs. I held her as she cried, planning how I would make this happen for her. She eventually quieted and drifted off to sleep again as her little body fought the final effects of the tequila.

**BPOV**

I sat on the couch, looking out the large window at the beautiful snow covered mountain range across the valley while I sipped my coffee. Peter and Char were on a hunting trip to Billings, and Jasper was on his own hunt for the local wildlife, leaving me to enjoy a quiet morning on my own.

The last three weeks had been a mixture of happiness and aggravation as the four of us merged into our unique family unit. Charlotte and I had become good friends. Underneath her sense of humor, she was both affectionate and practical, and we spent a lot of time discussing our pasts and how to move beyond them.

Peter continued to be the annoying brother I had never experienced. I knew he loved me and would do anything for me. The trouble was that until there _was_ something for him to do for me, he got a great deal of enjoyment out of pestering me. The house was large enough that he had no need to be constantly around me, but he seemed to turn up every time I wanted to be alone.

Honestly, I really enjoyed bantering with him, and knew it was all in good fun, but the combination of his near constant harassment and being stuck indoors was giving me a good case of cabin fever. The late winter snows were just starting to ease up, and although the white landscape was beautiful, I was more than ready to bid it goodbye when spring arrived.

The snow that had started the evening we arrived had turned into a real Montana snowstorm, and although the resident vampires were able to easily come and go, I was pretty much housebound. Jasper had taken me on a few piggy back hikes, but it was so cold I didn't last long. He and Peter and Charlotte were all trying hard to keep me occupied, and we had lots of fun watching movies, playing video games, and cooking meals much too big for one person to eat, but I was beginning to reach my fill of indoor entertainment. Frequent sex helped take the edge off of my irritation, but my human body was only up to so much of that in a day.

I was brought out of my musing by the sound of Jasper walking in from the back porch. As he walked past the window, the sunlight caught his skin, refracting brilliantly throughout the room. I smiled up at his butterscotch eyes, my breath catching at how beautiful he was.

"Fill your tummy?" I teased, patting his abs as he sat down next to me.

"Yep, how 'bout you?" he teased back, raising his eyebrow at my coffee cup.

I felt a flash of irritation at his question. I wasn't some toddler that required a daily calorie count, and I was tired of the three of them constantly shoving food at me. Rolling my eyes, I answered briskly, "Yes, Dad, I ate some cereal. The bowl's in the sink if you want to check." He didn't bite back at my bitchy answer, and I immediately felt bad. "I'm sorry," I said quickly as I reached for his hand. "I'm tired of being cooped up and I took it out on you. I'm sorry."

He took my half-empty cup and sat it down on the table before wrapping me into his arms. I closed my eyes as I leaned into him, inhaling the combined scents of Jasper and the outdoors.

"It's okay, Sweetheart, I have a thick skin," he joked softly. "I know you're starting to feel trapped here, and I'm sorry. Char wasn't factoring in human ability to get around in hip deep snow when she chose this place, I'm afraid. It's understandable that you're getting fed up."

"I still shouldn't take it out on you," I sighed, rubbing my forehead against his hard chest.

"That's right, you shouldn't," he agreed. Before I could abase myself some more, he pulled me back to look up at him. "Because…" he continued with a smile, "I'm about to tell you that I think the weather's good enough to get you out of here in the next day or so."

My smile was a mile wide as I peppered his face with kisses. "Really? That's great!" I enthused. "Where are we going?"

His smile faltered slightly before he answered. "Well, Bella, you have a couple of choices. We could take a simple trip into town so you could shop and eat out for a change. Or," he paused, looking hesitant, "we could take a longer excursion and go to Forks."

I froze for a moment as a rush of emotions flooded over me. Jasper finally squeezed my hand a little, reminding me to breathe, and I gulped air down awkwardly.

"Only if you're ready, Sweetheart," he said earnestly. "There's no rush of any kind, I just wanted to give you the option."

"No, I think now is good," I said slowly. "It won't ever get any easier, and it'll be good to put that part of my life to rest."

"You're sure?" he asked as he searched my eyes with his.

"As long as you'll be with me, I'm sure," I replied as I wrapped myself back into his arms. He lay back down on the couch and we just snuggled for another hour until Peter and Charlotte returned from their hunting trip. They quickly decided to join us for our trip and went to work making arrangements for another private jet. By this time the next day, we were on a plane headed toward the place where my life had changed so irrevocably.

Upon landing in Seattle, Jasper rented us a non-descript sedan to make the drive to Forks in. Peter made fun of the poor car incessantly as he drove, but I was glad that Jasper realized it was necessary to lay low during this visit. The rest of the world thought that Bella Swan was dead and gone, and I wanted it to remain that way. Being discovered would mean answering way too many impossible questions. I just wanted to get there, make my peace with Charlie, and get out without being recognized.

Peter and Charlotte chatted quietly in the front seat, while Jasper and I were quiet in the back. I felt tense even though I was holding Jasper's hand like a life line. Peter pulled into a tidy looking motel just outside of Port Angeles and Char climbed in back with me while Jasper went inside to get us a room. She wordlessly took hold of my hand and I leaned into her small, hard body, grateful that she knew I wasn't up to talking.

The guys unloaded our stuff into the room and Char and I followed closely behind, still hand in hand. The room was small, but it was surprisingly clean for a small motel. I grabbed my toiletries and headed for my post-flight shower. I emerged fifteen minutes later feeling more ready to face what the day would hold for me.

"I have something that's gonna put a smile on your face, Little Bird," Peter said in a sing-song voice as I sat down on the bed. I raised an eyebrow at him as he pulled several shopping bags and tossed them on the foot of the bed. I scooted down to investigate one of the bags, looking back up at him in confusion once I examined the contents.

"Thanks Peter, but I packed for myself," I said slowly. "You didn't have to buy sweatpants for me."

"Let me see those," Charlotte demanded opening the other bags. "Peter, these are ridiculously big, and poor quality to boot. Why would you buy this nasty shit for Bella?"

"There's more," he announced proudly as he bent over another bag. When he stood up again, he was decked out in a blonde shoulder length wig. "What do you think?" he asked enthusiastically. "I have red and black too."

I couldn't stop the giggles as he tossed his head and fluffed his fake curls. "It's a good look for you, Peter, but I still don't understand why you want to play dress up in girls' clothes!"

He pouted before grinning at me. "It's for you, Bella. You're gonna go in disguise so no one recognizes you! I brought several different outfits so you can choose your own identity for the day."

Jasper's soft laughter joined my own as Peter began emptying the bags haphazardly. Most of his choices were simply ridiculous, most notably the trench coat and fedora, but there were several sets of oversized sweat suits that would work well to disguise my figure.

I tossed the red wig aside without trying it. The thought of wearing it to visit Charlie gave me uncomfortable chills, but they were chased away when Jasper began yelling at Peter for bringing it. They began bickering like high school girls and I finally burst out laughing as they got warmed up.

"Real sensitive, ass hole!" Jasper snarled. "Why don't you just call Victoria up and invite her along to visit Charlie with us?"

"How am I supposed to know the bitch had red hair?" Peter demanded indignantly. "That detail has never been brought up until now!"

"Leave him alone, Jasper," I said between giggles. "He didn't know any better, and now you can lord it over him that he's not perfect."

"I'm really sorry, Bella," Peter apologized as he threw the red wig in the garbage. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"No big, Peter. Just don't take offense that I'm not gonna wear it," I answered, patting his head affectionately.

Jasper started rooting around the last of the bags as I pulled the blonde wig off of Peter and tried it on. It didn't suit me at all, so I pulled out the straight black one and put it on.

"I like this one," I enthused to Charlotte from the mirror. "I could really punk it out and go all in black!" I was interrupted by Jasper's shocked exclamation.

"What the fuck, Peter?" he spat out. "I thought the idea was to avoid attention, not attract it! If she dressed like this, every man in Forks would be following her around drooling!" he growled as he held up a red leather micro-mini skirt and corset combo.

"Sorry, Jasper," Peter said sheepishly. "That bag wasn't for Bella. That little number caught my eye and I grabbed it for Char. I guess the bag just got thrown in with these others."

I bit my lip to hold in my laughter, but I failed when Charlotte zipped over to grab the outfit from Jasper and rushed over to hold it up and admire it.

"Ooo, I love it, Baby!" she called over to Peter. "I can wear it the next time we go clubbing!" Jasper and I laughed as Peter hurried over to her and dragged her over to the mirror to hold the scrap of material against her body while copping a feel of her boobs.

We ignored them as we sorted through Peter's stash of ugly and inappropriate clothes. We finally settled on one of the sweat suits over a couple of other layers. The final effect was sloppy, but I looked nothing like myself, which was the point after all. I ended up using the blonde wig, deciding that while the black looked better, it was more likely to grab attention than the cheesy blonde curls were. With the addition of a knit hat, I was hardly recognizable.

"Ready, Sweets?" Jasper asked softly after we were both satisfied with my altered appearance.

"As I'll ever be," I answered slowly. "Let's get it over with."

Peter and Charlotte stopped groping each other and joined us near the door. "Lookin' good there, Blondie," Peter quipped lightly. His tone was at odds with his red eyes, which were full of compassion. Char thumped him on the head without heat before turning back to me.

"Do you want us to come with you, Sugar?" she asked quietly. "We're glad to come, but we understand if you don't want an audience."

"I think just the two of us today," I answered simply as I leaned in to hug her. I hoped my gesture could convey the appreciation that I felt for her. Peter reached over and ruffled my fake hair, so I shot him a small smile. Finally, I released Charlotte and turned to Jasper. "Okay, let's go."

Jasper tugged me in for a kiss before leading me out the door to the car. I was quiet on the ride into Forks, remembering the many different times I had travelled this route before my life changed so drastically.

When we pulled into Forks, it was as if time had stopped. The store fronts looked the same, the police station was unchanged, and the diner was still packed. We drove past Charlie's house on the way to the cemetery and the sight of an unfamiliar car in the driveway caused a hole in my chest.

Jasper whipped his hand out to take mine, and the pain eased slightly with the contact, but I still felt unable to take a deep breath. I barely registered the fact that Jasper had stopped the car and was picking me up and settling me onto his lap. I broke into sobs as the long repressed pain of losing my father overwhelmed me.

Jasper whispered words of comfort over and over and ran his hand up and down my back until I finally grew calmer. "I like the new paint," I choked out eventually.

"Me too," Jasper answered calmly. "It looks like the new owner is taking good care of the place."

"Looks like a little girl lives there," I added, pointing to the pink bicycle in the driveway. "I'm glad there's a family there."

He held me awhile longer until I finally told him I was ready to go. My grief was cutting me in two, and it was bound to get worse at the cemetery, but I knew I needed to acknowledge these feelings so that I could move on.

We pulled into the cemetery gates and Jasper spoke to the attendant to locate the plot number, explaining that we were friends of Charlie's. I pulled my hat snugly onto my head and looked away as they spoke, but Jasper assured me the man wasn't at all suspicious of us. He drove a short way down the small road before pulling over.

"This is it," he said unnecessarily, taking my hand in his. My chest felt tight with tension and grief as memories of my father washed over me.

"I'm not sure I can," I gasped, trying to breathe around the hole that was slowly and agonizingly opening up inside my heart. In the next instant, I was on Jasper's lap again, pressing my face into his chest and clinging to his shirt.

"Just breathe, Bella," he soothed me as he wrapped his arms tightly around me. The pressure of his embrace felt comforting rather than restrictive, and I forced myself to keep inhaling and exhaling, trying to fill myself with his familiar scent with every breath. I lost track of time, but eventually I was able to breathe normally. The grief was still very present, but it was no longer threatening to consume me.

Jasper relaxed his hold on me slightly so that he could look down into my face. "When you're ready to get out, we will," he said simply. "Whether that's five minutes, five hours, or five decades. If this isn't the right time for you to do this, we can come back when it is."

I allowed myself to grow lost in his amber eyes, drawing comfort from the love I saw inside them. Jasper had faced unimaginable horrors in his life and come through them to be the strong and loving man he was today. I would prove to myself that I was worthy to stand beside him for eternity by facing the trauma I had run away from.

I put my palms on his stony chest and visualized pulling strength from him into myself. I would honor my father and then I would move on to begin the farewell to my human life. I smiled tremulously up at the man I loved as I nodded my head. "Okay, let's go," I said quietly.

As he helped me out of the car, I noticed another vehicle approaching. We both froze as the beat up sedan pulled up behind us. Jasper relaxed almost immediately, but I was unable to hide my shock when the doors opened and Peter and Charlotte stepped out.

"What are you doing here?" I stammered.

Peter smiled at me as Charlotte rushed over and wrapped me in a hug. "Just got a feelin' you needed your family, Little Bird," he said casually.

Jasper raised his eyebrow at the rusting car. "Did somebody pay you to take this off their hands?" he asked drily.

Peter grinned wider at us. "Nope, I just stole it," he admitted cheerfully. Anticipating my disapproval, he raised his hands. "Now Bella, I did the owner a favor. This piece of shit ain't worth the money it costs to insure it."

I just shrugged as I answered, "Thanks for coming, Peter, however you chose to get here." I looked up at Jasper and he slowly began to lead me through the headstones. I clung desperately to his hand as we walked, feeling the painful hole beginning again. Suddenly, I felt a cold hand grasp my free hand. I looked gratefully over at Charlotte who was now supporting me on my other side. I felt Peter's cold hand on my shoulder and knew that he was standing just behind me.

Jasper stopped in front of a simple grey stone. Surrounded by my family, I knelt down to read it. Under his name and the dates, it simply read _Beloved Father, Friend, and Protector of this Community._ I ran my fingers over the etched words, thinking how perfectly they described him. Memories of my fractured childhood with him rushed through my mind as I felt the tears begin to fall.

"I'm finally here, Charlie," I began in a faltering voice. Three cold hands squeezed me gently and I spoke again. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come say goodbye. I ran for a long time and I had to do some really hard things to survive, but I hope you would be proud of me for fighting. When I wanted to give up, I thought of you, and that gave me strength."

I paused for a moment as Jasper gently reclaimed my hand. "This is Jasper, Dad. He found me and he saved me. He gave me a reason to open up again. We take good care of each other, and we're going to be together forever soon," I whispered. "I think you'd like him, and I know you'd be happy for me."

Closing my eyes, I thought of the moments my father would never see. "I'm so sorry, Dad," I choked out. "I'm so sorry that she came for me and found you instead. I wish I could have stopped her, or warned you. I know you wouldn't have blamed me, but I'm still sorry."

The tears were streaming steadily down my face by this point, and I was struggling against the sobs that wanted to break out. I shivered slightly, realizing that it was beginning to drizzle. I took a deep breath and forced myself to continue so we could get out of the rain.

"These two are Peter and Charlotte," I began again. "They're my family now. They cause a lot of trouble, but I'm going to keep them anyway. You would have liked them too, but you probably would have arrested Peter at least once."

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, preparing myself to say goodbye forever. "You were a really good father to me. I know I didn't tell you enough, but I love you a lot, Dad. I won't be coming back here again for a long time, Charlie, but I think about you every day. I'll never stop missing you, and I'll never stop trying to make you proud. Bye, Dad."

I closed my eyes for a moment, so I was startled when I felt Peter, Charlotte and Jasper stand up suddenly, dragging me to my feet and pulling me behind them.

"What is it?" Charlotte hissed as she and Peter fell into a crouch in front of me. "It smells awful." I trained my own eyes to where they were staring intently, but I was unable to make out anything unusual.

"Shit," Jasper muttered as his grip on me tightened. "The Quileutes are shape shifting again, Peter. Neither of you move unless I say. We'll see what they want and leave peacefully if we can. Charlotte, if they attack, you get Bella out of here while we hold them off. They're young and I can feel their anger from here, so they'll be out of control."

My head spun at this information, but Jasper's warnings broke off as a huge young native man stepped out of the woods. He was dressed only in shorts, blatantly displaying the fact that he was solid muscle. He was flanked by four wolves the size of horses, all growling menacingly at us. My jaw dropped in shock as the man glared at me and spoke.

"Long time no see, Bella Swan." As the clear voice rang across the headstones separating us, recognition flooded me.

Forcing my voice to remain calm, I answered, "It has been a long time. You've grown up, Jacob Black."

**Crazy long AN- not content related, so skip it if you hate these ;-P**

**First, my deepest thanks for all of your kind words about my mother-in-law. Thanks especially to those who shared their own victories and losses- I feel privileged to be a part of this awesome fandom. I'm not going to turn this into an update page for my MIL, so I'll just say that she's stable and out of the ICU and we're just hoping for the best for now. I'll leave it at that until my ability to update is affected again.**

**Dearest MM- Just need to tell you that I feel the same way- I would give it all up as long as I could keep you! **

**BassmanOz- I hope the girls made it clear how sorry I am for neglecting you! Won't happen again, I promise!**

**Ok, last thing! Do you guys know about BaltiK's awesome story Obsessed? I just found out about it today, and I was immediately addicted!**

**Okay, I'm shutting up now! Love you all!**

**heavy**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer.**

**The characterization of Peter as an intuitive southerner is the original idea of I Dream of Eddie.**

**An idea in this chapter was inspired by JamesRamsey's fantastic fic Insecurities. Full credit to follow, just don't want to give anything away!**

**Mynxi is my beta even though I exist in massive comma fail. Thank you, you grammar goddess, you!**

**JPOV**

The cemetery was silent except for the sounds of Bella's rapid breaths and the low rumbles of anger from the four wolves. My mind raced over various escape routes and defense positions, but I didn't like the situation we were in one bit. I could feel anger radiating off of all of the wolves and I had no faith in their ability to remain under control long enough for us to leave peacefully.

"How can you do it, Bella?" Jacob snarled, taking a step forward. Peter and Charlotte moved closer together and growled until he stopped moving. His angry eyes bored into Bella and he clenched his fists. The wolves beside him focused only on us vampires and they were visibly trembling with the desire to attack.

"How can you stand here in front of Charlie's grave with these leeches?" Jacob continued incredulously. "All these years, we've thought the bloodsucker got you too, but instead here you stand all cuddled up with them! Even worse, saying good-bye to Charlie so you can _be_ one of them!"

I couldn't stop myself from growling quietly at his words, as I felt Bella flinch. It was all I could do not to lunge at him until Bella grasped my hand tightly. I felt her surge of anger at Jacob's words and I forced myself to focus on keeping things calm rather than teach him a lesson for judging her.

Reminding myself that getting Bella out safely was the priority, I pushed a wave of calm toward the wolves while attempting to bypass Peter and Char as much as possible. My gift wasn't something I could aim with precision, and I needed to be careful not to incapacitate my friends while I tried to improve our chances of walking away from this cemetery. The wolves made no response to my attempt to influence their emotions, and I began to feel real doubt about my ability to get us out of this.

I was almost startled when I heard Bella's clear voice call out, "These people had nothing to do with Charlie's death, Jacob. This is my family. They came to support me, while I said goodbye to Charlie."

Jacob's face darkened ominously and the four wolves beside him growled. The rage poured off of all of them. "How dare you bring them to his grave? He died because you loved those bloodsuckers! How can you bring them here?"

I felt a flash of Bella's white-hot pain and guilt at the reminder that her father had died because she had loved Edward and our family. She trembled beside me, so I wrapped my arm tightly around her and whispered into her ear, "Charlie wouldn't want you to feel guilty, Bella." My words seemed to help her center herself, and abruptly I felt her emotions close off as she regained control.

"What do you know about what he would want, leech?" Jacob snarled, before glaring at me again. "Looks like the last two years have been good to you, Bells. You been living the high life with the pretty rich boy?"

His words enraged me, as I relived Bella telling me the things she had endured. Visions of her cold, hungry, and scared rushed through my brain, eclipsed by the image of her giving her virginity to a selfish boy with dead eyes. Bella staggered beside me at the cruelty of Jacob's words, and Peter and Charlotte began growling again in anger. I reined in my rage so that I didn't accidentally project and worsen our situation.

"Enough, dog," I called out. "You don't get to stand there and hurt her because you disagree with the company she keeps. You obviously don't want us here, so back off and we'll be on our way."

The wolves bared their fangs and advanced a little more. "Who says you get to walk away, Bloodsucker?" Jacob hissed. "This town is under our protection from leeches like you two," he said, pointing at Peter and Charlotte's eyes. "We patrol constantly looking for the redheaded one who ended Charlie. She shows up every couple months, but she always runs off before we get a chance to pay her back. I can't think of a good reason to let the two of you go too."

I felt a chill in my dead heart at the confirmation that Bella still held Victoria's interest, but I kept my mind on the immediate danger we faced. "No one here has violated the treaty, Jacob Black," I said solemnly. "They haven't hunted here and no one in Forks even knows we're here. You have no right to detain us, so why don't you just tell your friends here to back the fuck up so we can leave."

The wolves vibrated in anger and moved forward yet again, their desire to attack obvious to everyone. I tensed beside Bella. "Your anger is out of control, Black. Let us leave before one of you loses it and hurts Bella."

Before the words left my mouth, the large black wolf sprung toward us. Peter, Charlotte, and I reacted immediately. I lifted Bella onto Charlotte's back. "Get her out of here," I instructed tersely, leaning back to dodge the massive wolf lunging toward me. He sailed over me and landed hard, shaking his massive head as he recovered his equilibrium.

Charlotte sprang toward the edge of the woods, but she was quickly cut off by two snarling wolves. She began backing up toward her original location as Peter sprang past me to attack the black giant. He struck the wolf feet first and knocked him into a nearby headstone, cracking it as the black wolf slid limply to the ground.

The remaining wolf howled in outrage at the fall of his comrade and Peter jumped up as it leaped toward him. "Try not to kill them, if possible," I said tersely. "They're really just angry teenagers. If they get close to Bella, all bets are off, though." He gave me a knowing glance as years of fighting together fell into place, and we communicated our plans wordlessly to each other.

I moved to intercept the two wolves stalking toward Charlotte. Bella had climbed down from her back and was standing close behind her, her breaths short and rapid as she fought her panic. Her eyes were locked on the snarling wolves and she seemed unaware of my approach.

"On your right," I called to Charlotte, as I faced off with the nearest of the two wolves. My field of focus narrowed to the wolf in front of me. He lunged for me and we flew past each other, his claws slashing for my face as I leaned back to escape them. We were well matched and seemed to anticipate each other's moves as the wolf attacked and I dodged.

Finally, I managed to land a hard punch as it came at me, smiling in satisfaction as I felt ribs crack under my hand. Whimpering, the wolf backed away from me, so I turned my attention to Charlotte. Her red eyes gleamed fiercely as she swung at the approaching wolf. She landed a glancing blow, but he was on her again rapidly. I leaped onto the giant wolf's back, tearing him off of Charlotte and smiling grimly as she immediately sprung forward to attack.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed Bella slowly backing away from us. Satisfied that she was moving away from the danger, I turned my focus back to Charlotte's battle. She was landing vicious blows on the wolf's flanks with one hand as she held his angry jaws away from her with the other. He was clearly failing under her assault, so I turned my attention to checking on Jacob's whereabouts.

I had lost track of him after the initial attack, but I quickly located him standing near the clearing, still in his human form. He was watching the battle intensely, his emotions a rampant mixture of anger, worry, and grim satisfaction. I started toward him, eager to end this and be on our way, when I was stopped by Bella's piercing scream.

Turning toward her, I took in the reason for her cry. "No!" she wailed, running toward Peter's falling figure. The wolf he was fighting had been joined by another, and one of them had struck home with a claw. The massive wound was diagonal across his body, reaching from his left shoulder past his right hip, rendering him off balance.

The first wolf had returned closed in again and had slashed Peter's left calf with his claws. The wounds weren't life threatening, but they had immobilized him and the wolves were still coming. My feet were already in motion toward him as I saw his eyes widen and felt the wave of fear he projected. "Bella, stay back!" he yelled, as he took in the sight of her running toward him.

I practically flew to intercept her, desperate to prevent her from encountering the enraged wolves, but she was closer to them and I knew I would fail. The new wolf was circling Peter, who had successfully thrown the original wolf off of him. Bella ran toward them and flung herself at Peter just as the wolf sprang toward them.

"No!" I yelled, as I ran, remotely noticing Charlotte close behind me. Peter attempted to roll her away from the impending impact, but his wound made him awkward and slow, and I knew his movement was futile.

The next second lasted hours as I watched in shock as Jacob jumped into action. He ran toward the fray, leaping forward gracefully. Before the attacking wolf could impact Bella's tiny body, Jacob landed between them, his back to Bella and Peter as he snarled at the wolf. The shocked wolf landed inches from Bella, as Peter finally managed to shift her behind him.

"Enough," Jacob called out to the wolf, who immediately backed down. Charlotte and I stood ten feet from Jacob, who was now blocking us from Peter and Bella. The other wolves limped forward and made a semi-circle behind us. Jacob looked briefly at Peter trying to protect Bella before returning his glare to me.

He was radiating disgust and disappointment as he began speaking. "As much as part of me wants to end her now before she's like you," he said heavily, "I just can't stomach hurting Charlie Swan's little girl while she's human."

I felt a twinge of hope as I looked back at him and waited for him to finish. "So since she's obviously not gonna leave you leeches on her own, I guess that means you get a free pass today," he said reluctantly. "Get out of here and don't come back," he ordered grimly, turning toward Bella, who was pressing one of her sweatshirts against Peter's seeping wound. "That means you too. Don't come back here with them. You have an alternative to this," he said, indicating Charlotte and myself.

Bella's breathing was rapid and shallow, but her voice was strong when she answered. "I told you, Jacob, this is my family. I'm sorry you disagree with my life and my choice, but it doesn't change anything."

"Nothing else to say then," Jacob answered coldly. "Get out of here, and don't let us catch you in town again. If we do, there'll be no walking away," he warned steadily. With that, he turned and walked silently into the forest, followed by the pack of wolves.

Charlotte and I snapped into action, rushing over to Peter and Bella. Char reached him first, planting a fierce kiss on his mouth even as her hands assessed the damage. "Still with me?" I asked my friend grimly, as I reached them.

I was relieved when his usual smile cracked his lips. "Well, your gal nearly gave me heart failure with her little 'jump in front of the wolf' stunt, but I guess I pulled through it," he quipped tightly. His words were tight and his smile didn't quite reach his eyes, so I knew he was in a lot of pain.

Bella had stepped out of the way, allowing Charlotte to hold the giant wound together. Char was always calm in urgent situations and I was relieved that she was controlling her worry about Peter so well. "Let's get you out of here, Gimpy," she ordered, while I gently helped her pull him into standing. He leaned heavily on me and I used my free hand to assist Char in keeping the wound closed.

I locked eyes with Bella, noticing her huge pupils and extreme pallor. "Sweetheart, can you come dig my keys out of my jacket?" I asked quietly, pushing a little calm toward her. She was clearly going into shock, and we would need her to get out of here. Thankfully, she pulled herself together and moved quickly to my side to retrieve the keys before leading the way back to the cars.

Charlotte and I assisted Peter into the back seat, each of us on one side to help hold his wound together. Bella climbed into the driver's seat without being asked and started the engine. "Where to?" she asked tensely, her heart beginning to race again.

"We need to take Peter to the Cullen house and see what kind of shape he's in," I said gently, as she put the car in gear and pulled away, spinning the tires in the gravel in her haste. "Easy, Sweets," I soothed her, reaching a hand up to the front to touch her shoulder. "He'll be okay, we just need to figure out how we're gonna patch him up without pissing the wolves off."

She visibly relaxed at my reassurance and her driving improved rapidly as her fear for Peter eased slightly. I focused on pushing comfort to Peter and Charlotte. Unfortunately, I couldn't block physical pain with my power, but I could at least take the emotional edge off for them.

"Not sure I can handle any more excitement, Birdy," Peter rasped. "Try not to get us into a wreck on the way."

"Shut up," she answered shakily, a tear sliding down her face. "I haven't driven in over two years, so I'm a little rusty. That, and today has been a really shitty day. Now stop tempting me to drop your ass off back there with the wolves and let me drive in peace."

We all smiled at this sign that Bella wasn't about to succumb to anxiety and let her drive in peace. I watched her closely for indications of stress as we drew closer to the Cullen house, but her tension remained level. She turned onto the driveway and pulled up to the house, staring at it for a long moment before turning the ignition off.

"You two wait here while I figure out a way into the house, other than tearing the door down," I said to Peter, opening my door.

"I ain't goin' anywhere," Peter said dryly. Not even the pain from his injury could repress his humor, and I smiled back at him.

"I'll be quick," I said quietly, pulling Bella's door open for her. "How ya doin', Sweets?" I asked when she stood and leaned into me briefly.

"I'm okay," she whispered, falling into step beside me. After we reached the front door, I quickly jimmied a window open, using care to avoid breaking the glass. Bella waited while I climbed through and opened the front door for her.

Her face was a blank mask, making me worry that the stress was catching up with her. I needed her to hang on just long enough to get Peter taken care of, so I pushed more calm toward her.

"Can you head upstairs and turn down one of the beds, so we can get a good look at him?" I asked gently, hoping that a task would help keep her focused. Her expression turned determined as she nodded and headed up the stairs. I made my way back out to the car and helped Charlotte get Peter inside.

I followed the sound of Bella's heart to Emmett and Rose's room, where she had a bed turned down with fresh sheets. Wide-eyed, she backed out of the way as we entered the room and got Peter situated on the bed.

Charlotte briskly ripped his shredded shirt away so she could assess the injury. "Alright, Sugar, let's see what sort of a mess you're in," she said matter-of-factly, leaning in to look closer. The wound was deep and jagged across his chest and abdomen, and his calf was a mess, incapable of bearing weight. His vampire body was beginning to heal the wound at the more shallow areas, but to fully recover from this, Peter would need blood.

"You need to hunt," I said unnecessarily, meeting his red eyes.

"Yeah, that's gonna be a little difficult," he responded with false levity. "Somethin' tells me those wolves won't take too kindly to me shopping for a snack in Forks."

"I'll go elsewhere and bring something back for you," Charlotte said sternly, standing up even as she spoke. I didn't like the idea of her going off on her own with a young pack of shape shifters around. Peter agreed with me, shaking his head negatively, but before either of us could speak, Bella's gasp reminded us all of her presence in the room.

She shook her head and her tears shown like crystals on my cheeks to my vampire eyes. "I'm so sorry," she choked out as she took a faltering step toward Peter. "This is all my fault. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be here and you wouldn't be hurt." She turned to Charlotte, reaching a hand out almost desperately. "I'm so sorry he got hurt, Char."

Charlotte's red eyes softened and I felt that she had no blame toward Bella. "Honey, it's not your fault," she said gently. I scooped Bella up and seated her on the bed next to Peter. "I know it looks bad, but he'll be just fine as soon as we figure out a way to get him some blood."

I ran my hand up and down Bella's back, hating the nervous tremors I felt in her muscles. Peter reached up for her hand and regarded her seriously. "Don't put this on yourself, Darlin'," he ordered sternly. "It was my own damn fault. I was payin' too much attention to what Char was doin' and I didn't notice the second dog sneakin' up on me. I'll be fine soon as I find an appropriate snack."

Bella relaxed slightly at his words and I smiled at him thankfully. "You could always go vegetarian," I joked at Peter. I knew that would be a last resort measure for him, but the flash of indignation I felt from him let me know that he was not even considering eating animals yet. Charlotte chuckled softly at his expression, but Bella sat up suddenly, startling all of us.

"He can have my blood!" she burst out excitedly, looking in turn at all three of us. My growl was immediate and beyond my control, but Peter beat me to the refusal.

"Birdie, I appreciate the offer," he said softly. "But feelin' how I feel, there's no way I could be sure I wouldn't drain ya dry, much less worry about getting' all the venom out before ya began to change. You've still got some stuff on that bucket list, and when you change it should be because you're ready, not because I need help."

I felt her exasperation for a millisecond as she shook her head. "No, no, no," she said impatiently. "I meant we could collect my blood, like for a transfusion. Then you can do your worst while I'm nowhere near," she said enthusiastically.

I was shaking my head "no", but Charlotte was looking at Peter speculatively. "Might work," Charlotte said hesitantly. "It would probably work to put you back together well enough to get us out of town and to friendlier hunting grounds."

"Before you get all excited about this plan," I growled, "somebody explain how we're gonna get the blood from Bella to Peter. Are you planning on using a steak knife and a measuring cup? Because we don't exactly have a bloodmobile at our disposal here," I said angrily. "Not to mention the risk of her bleeding around all of us."

Bella glared at me before turning her gaze back to Peter. "I'll go check Carlisle's office. Maybe he has a needle and stuff in there." Looking at me again as she stood, she said more softly, "You won't hurt me, Jasper. I want to do this for Peter, but I need your help…I don't think I can get the needle in by myself."

She walked out of the room toward Carlisle's office and I could hear her rooting through his drawers in her search. I looked up at Peter and Charlotte who were both regarding me seriously. "Your call, J," Peter drawled softly. "It'll work, but if you don't want to go that way, we'll figure somethin' else out."

I closed my eyes, torn between wanting to help my friend and fear of hurting my reason for living. "I just don't know if I can," I ground out.

I opened my eyes at Charlotte's soft hand on my arm. "You can," she said firmly. At that moment, we were distracted by Bella's triumphant cry and the sound of her rushing back down the hall toward us.

"This is perfect," she said as she stumbled into the room, holding a syringe pack and length of tubing. My stomach sank as I realized I was really going to have to stick a needle into my extremely fragile lover's vein, allowing her tempting blood to flow down a tube into…

"Wait a minute, what are we going to collect it in?" I asked her. She shrugged somewhat sheepishly.

"Well, there aren't any of those bags in Carlisle's office, so I guess it will have to be the measuring cup, like you said."

"I don't know, Bella. I don't know if I can be that close to that much of your blood and stay in control."

Her brown eyes looked into mine steadily and I saw the love and faith she had for me reflected in them.

"You can," she said simply, unknowingly echoing Charlotte's earlier words. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders as my two best friends and the woman I loved with my entire heart waited for me to answer.

"I need to go hunt first," I said reluctantly. Peter and Charlotte's relief and appreciation hit me like a freight train, but I felt only apprehension from Bella.

"Is it safe for you to go alone? What if the wolves come back?"

"I'll be fine, Sweetheart. I'll stay close to the house on Cullen land." She ran at me and wrapped her arms tightly around me, pressing her face against my neck.

"Be careful," she whispered. "I couldn't live if something happened to you. There's a limit to what one person can survive in a lifetime, and losing you is my limit."

"Not gonna happen, Bella," I answered firmly, standing to leave. "Now let me get out of here so we can put this disaster of a plan into action."

I pressed a quick kiss to her soft lips as I stepped away and rushed downstairs and out the door. Heaven smiled down on me for one minute of this cluster fuck of a day, and a large buck wandered by less than a half mile away from the house. I took it down quickly and drank my fill before disposing of the carcass.

On the way back, I debated about whether to have Charlotte in the room when I took Bella's blood or to do it on my own. I liked the idea of backup in case I lost control. However, Char was under severe stress over Peter's injuries and I wasn't sure if she would be able to contain things if I lost it. Eventually I decided that Bella and I would do this as a team. That approach usually worked well for us, so I would have faith that it would serve us well today.

When I returned to the house, Bella was waiting for me in the kitchen. I let the sensation of her relief and happiness to see me wash over me for a few seconds, before I joined her at the large table.

"I think I have everything we need," she said, motioning to the medical packages, some clean towels, a few bandages, and the controversial large measuring cup.

Guiding her into one of the chairs, I sat facing her, cradling one of her hands in both of mine. "Are you sure, Bella?"

"Absolutely, Jasper," she replied, pushing her faith toward me. "You won't hurt me. We'll be touching the whole time. Now just do it," she ordered, placing her arm facing up on the table top.

I nodded my head and got to work opening the syringe and tubing kits. Fortunately, they were universal fitting, and would connect together easily. I put the measuring cup on the floor and took the cap off the needle. Gently grasping Bella's warm arm in my hands, I ran my fingers over the vein at her elbow, enjoying the slight humming sensation of her precious blood flowing back toward her heart.

I moved the needle forward to touch her soft skin and looked up at her face. I was surprised to see her looking intently away from me. "Bella?" I said softly, concerned that she was having second thoughts.

She shifted her eyes briefly toward me before giving me a tight smile. "Oh, I can't watch, Jasper. That's one thing that hasn't changed about me. I still hate the sight of blood."

Shaking my head at my brave and stubborn girl, I decided to get it over with. I took a final unnecessary breath and pushed the needle quickly into her vein, profoundly relieved as I realized I would be able to stay in control of my bloodlust, even while her potent blood filled the syringe. I connected the tubing, and blood immediately began to fill the measuring cup.

Watching the level steadily rise, I kept both of my hands on her arm, petrified that if I lost contact I might lose control. I was feeling really good about how things were proceeding when I suddenly thought of a problem.

"Umm, Bella," I said, trying to keep my voice free of the anxiety I was now feeling.

"Hmm?" She looked up at me briefly before turning away again.

"Any idea when I should stop?"

Her face whipped around to mine, and she smiled apologetically as she noticed how worried I was. "I'm sorry, Jasper. I forgot to tell you. Six-hundred and fifty milliliters is the limit for blood donors."

"Okay," I said in relief. "We're about half way there then."

"Sounds good," she answered calmly, looking out the window.

"How do you know that, anyway?" I asked, watching the level continue to rise.

She laughed and I enjoyed the flash of amusement that I felt from her. "Well, Jasper, after my infamous reaction to blood typing, Mr. Banner had me write an essay on the donation process to make up for my lack of participation in the Forks High blood drive," she answered smugly.

"I'm sure he'd be proud that you're putting the information to good use," I teased her as I ripped open the package containing the gauze bandage. "Almost done. Are you feeling okay?"

"Surprisingly, I feel fine," she replied. "Maybe if you had been in biology with me, I could have done the lab," she joked.

"Oh sure," I teased back, quickly removing the needle from her arm and placing the bandage over the tiny wound. "I would have been a great addition to that lab. All sorts of biology to be learned when a room full of children gets slaughtered by a blood-maddened vampire."

"And just look at you now," she said proudly. "Able to stick a needle in me without even drooling any venom. I'm fine," she reiterated as I looked closely at her. "Get that up to Peter and away from me and I'll be even better," she continued, pointing at the measuring cup.

Her color was pale, but her heart rate was strong and regular. Deciding it was safe to leave her, I gave her a quick kiss as I stood up. "Yes, Ma'am," I replied. "I'll be back as soon as I drop this off."

"Give him a kiss for me," she teased as she bent her elbow and put more pressure on the bandage. I rolled my eyes and carried the measuring cup upstairs, taking care not to breathe around Bella's blood.

"Room service," I called out, walking into the bedroom and handing the blood to Char. She rushed over to Peter and held the measuring cup out to him. I began backing out of the room, uncomfortable with the thought of watching Peter drink Bella's blood. He sat up awkwardly, wincing in pain. I sighed to myself and walked back over to help him up, while Charlotte held the blood.

"Need a straw, fucker?" I asked exasperatedly as I got him situated. Peter chuckled but Charlotte glared at me.

"I'll feed it to him mouth to mouth if I have to," she snapped. "Now get on out of here if you don't want to see him drink up."

Before I could respond, I heard Bella softly mutter, "Oh shit," followed by a thump. I was down the steps in a flash, taking in the site of her sitting on the floor, clinging to the chair legs for dear life. Her face was pale and clammy and her heart was pounding loudly over the sound of her shallow breaths.

"What happened?" I asked, scooping her up and laying her gently on the dusty couch.

"We forgot the cookies and juice," she mumbled weakly, while I elevated her legs.

It took me a few seconds to catch up with her, but when I did, I felt ill with guilt. "Shit," I muttered. "Your blood sugar's low, and I bet we don't have a single thing to eat or drink here." I ran quickly to the kitchen and tore through the cabinets, confirming my suspicions that there was nothing edible for Bella here.

I returned to her side, taking her hand in mine, mentally cursing at how cold and clammy it felt. "I'm gonna have to go get you somethin' to eat, Sweetheart," I said gently. Her eyes shot open and she tried to sit up.

"No, not by yourself," she protested. "The wolves."

"The wolves won't have a chance to know I'm in town," I interrupted her. "I'm just going to drive to the gas station and pick you up some soda and junk food to get that blood sugar back up where it's supposed to be. We can worry about a square meal once Peter's patched up well enough to move easier."

She began to shake her head, but I ignored her and lifted her up in my arms to carry her upstairs. "Ya'll decent?" I called as I carried her into the bedroom. Peter and Charlotte both chuckled and I smiled at the contentment they were both projecting. I settled Bella on the bed next to Peter and looked over at his wound.

"Looking better already," I said, noticing the edges of the wound were already binding together at a rapid rate. "Feeling better?"

"You bet," Peter drawled with a smile. "You were yummy, Darlin'," he said to Bella with an exaggerated leer.

"Glad you're feeling better, 'cause I feel like shit," Bella mumbled, with her eyes closed.

"She's weak from blood loss, so I need you two to keep an eye on her while I go get her something to eat," I said, directing my gaze at Charlotte.

"What exactly am I supposed to do?" Char asked hesitantly, projecting anxiety. "I don't exactly know how to keep a human alive, Jasper!"

"I'm not dying Char," Bella said in an irritated tone. "Just let him get the hell out of here and back so we can get out here."

"Come snuggle up here, Little Bird," Peter said kindly. "You smell just 'bout as good as you tasted," he teased as she rolled over toward him.

The stress of the day finally got to me, and I snapped at his comment even though I knew it was a joke. "Not funny!" I barked out. "She's laying there half unconscious because she wanted to help you, the least you could do is not joke about eating her!"

I felt the unusual sensation of Peter's remorse. "I'm sorry, Bella. It wasn't funny, and I really appreciate what you did for me."

"I know that," Bella grumbled.

Peter looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry, Jasper. You know I won't hurt your girl," he said sincerely. "But I still shouldn't have joked about it. You've had a long day."

"Damn straight," I muttered. I pressed a kiss to Bella's forehead. "I love you, Sweets. I'll be right back."

"Love you too," she whispered. "Be careful."

I rushed out to the car and pushed the low quality sedan to its limits on the way to the nearest gas station. I grabbed a variety of soda and sugary snacks and checked out, vastly relieved that no one at the gas station was familiar to me from my Forks high experience.

I rushed the "goodies" back to the Cullen house and up to Bella. Fortunately, she perked up quickly once she was hydrated and fed, cracking her own jokes about Peter drinking her blood. His abdominal wound looked much better and he was able to move around in bed without it gaping open now. His calf was still messy looking, but it held his weight when Charlotte and I helped him into standing.

"I think you're good enough to get a real meal," Charlotte said proudly. Bella was sitting up and looking a much healthier color.

"Everyone ready to blow this joint?" I asked unnecessarily.

Everyone nodded affirmatively, but Bella held my gaze for a long minute. "I don't ever want to come back here again," she said resolutely.

I nodded back at her and reached for her hand. "You never have to come back here again," I repeated, agreeing with the sentiment whole heartedly. Peter and Charlotte joined us as we walked out of the bedroom, down the stairs, and out the door.

**AN- Okay, I'm going to start splitting the POV's into different chapters. This will mean the chapters are shorter, but you'll get them a lot faster **** No worries, no material will be cut, just spread out a little more!**

**Charlotte's comment about giving Peter the blood mouth to mouth was 100% inspired by JamesRamsey's story Insecurities. Her fic is one of the most creative and original canon stories I have ever read. If you haven't read it already, go now!**

**My precious MM- Thank you for loving me even when I am one of those freaky bald rat-looking cat things ;P Thank you for all that you are and all that you do.**

**Luv4Jake- if you're still reading, PM me, I really want to know what you thought *chews fingernail nervously!***

**Thank you for reading!**

**Heavy**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-two

**First of all, my abject apologies to JamesRamsey. I had major AN fail before I posted the last chapter, and I forgot to credit her for the mouth to mouth blood comment Charlotte made! She is way too cool to be mad about it, and I went back and added it after the fact, but I still feel bad because it was 100% inspired by Insecurities. My thanks to her for accepting my apology and for writing one of the best fanfics out there! **

**Beta'd by mynxi, who had her work cut out for her, what with all the cold medicine I'm on! Seriously, if it looks like I have a clue about what I'm doing, then it's all her doing. I am not worthy, but I am grateful to have her. **

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer.**

**BPOV**

I held tightly to Jasper's hand as he drove us along the highway toward Seattle. The billboard lights felt harsh to my tired eyes, but I was too strung out to try to sleep. Peter and Charlotte spoke quietly to each other in the back seat, but Jasper and I were silent, although he squeezed my hand comfortingly every so often.

I was thankful that he wasn't pressing me to talk yet. I knew that a discussion about the day was in my near future, but I was hoping to do it at home rather than in a rental car in the middle of the night. I was holding onto my emotions by a thread, and thoughts of curling up with Jasper in our own bed were the only thing keeping me together.

We approached the city, and I snapped out of it a little when I noticed that Jasper was pulling into a seedy neighborhood. Dilapidated buildings were crammed in next to each other, lending the area a dangerous ambience. I followed Jasper's gaze to a nearby building, where a small group of grungy-looking people were staggering through the front door.

"Dinner is served," Peter sang out cheerfully, while Jasper pulled the car over to the side of the road.

I shivered a little at the thought of what was about to happen, and Jasper turned to glare at Peter. "Have a little sensitivity," he snarled at Peter. "She's been through enough today without you rubbing this in her face."

Peter leaned forward between the seats to face me, his face contrite. "Sorry, Little Bird. I didn't think before I spoke. Not used to havin' you around so close to a meal. I'm just eager to feed and get healed up. This thing is itchin' like a son of a bitch," he finished, indicating his seeping wound.

I patted his cold cheek affectionately. "It's okay, Peter. I'm just glad you're around to stick your foot in your mouth. Now go get this over with so we can go home."

"Will do, ma'am," he drawled out, gingerly exiting the car. Charlotte was waiting on him outside, her eyes scanning the area rapidly before fixing onto the group of people a few blocks ahead.

"Call when you're ready and I'll be back to pick you up," Jasper said quietly, putting the car in gear and pulling away. "If I hit a drive-thru, would you eat?" he asked me hopefully. The thought of food wasn't appealing, but I knew it was probably a good idea.

"Maybe just some fries and a Coke," I agreed. Fifteen minutes later, we were sitting in the parking lot at McDonald's. The salty fries tasted better than I expected, and I sighed in contentment after I finished. Throwing my trash into the bag, I looked up at Jasper's amber eyes staring down at me.

"Hangin' in there?" he asked gently, reaching out to brush my hair behind my ear. Fearing I would lose it if I kept looking at his beautiful eyes, I glanced out the window.

"Just want to get home," I mumbled. His cold hand cupped my cheek, and I placed my own hand on top of it. The sound of his phone ringing made me jump. He glanced at it briefly before answering.

"Be there in five," he said into the phone without preamble. "Did Char call the charter company yet?" he asked, pulling the car back onto the road.

He listened for a moment before replying, "Good, we can just make it to the airport by that time." He hung up as he pulled onto the street we had left Peter and Charlotte on. They stepped out from an alley as we approached, Peter's arm slung casually over Charlotte's tiny frame. I smiled at his relaxed expression, hopeful that meant he was fully recovered from his injury.

"Good to go?" Jasper asked over his shoulder, as they climbed in the back seat.

"Yep, let's go home," Peter replied cheerfully. "It's past Bella's bedtime," he teased, pressing a cold kiss to my cheek before he settled back into his seat. Jasper pulled away and I absently watched the lights begin to blur as he sped us toward the small airport outside the city limits.

I spent the short flight back to Montana curled up in Jasper's arms, but sleep avoided me. After landing, we all climbed into Charlotte's SUV for the drive home. I watched the dark sky, knowing that the first signs of dawn weren't far away, as we pulled into the driveway.

Jasper helped me out of the car, and we followed Peter and Charlotte inside. I closed my eyes for a moment, allowing the scent of home to envelope me. It had only been my home for a short time, but after the transient lifestyle I had lived for the previous two years, this place felt profoundly safe and comfortable to me.

I was startled by Charlotte's hand on my shoulder. My eyes flew open to meet her crimson ones. Peter stood just behind her, a wide, relaxed smile on his face. "I just want to say 'Thank you,' Bella," she said softly. "First, you put yourself in harm's way to try and protect him. Then, you gave your own blood to help heal him. I know you've been blaming yourself for what happened today, but I want you to know that I'm grateful that you were there."

I stared back at her in surprise until she leaned in to press a kiss to my cheek. "We're both lucky to have you as a sister," she finished as Peter tugged gently on her hand.

"Come on, Darlin," he drawled to his wife, "Jasper can take care of Bella now, and I could use some TLC after my hard day." Char rolled her eyes at him and gave me another squeeze before stepping away. Peter wrapped his long arm around Charlotte and they walked out of the living room together. For a second, I swear I could feel their love for each other lingering in the room, almost as if I was empathic like Jasper.

I turned to look at him, soaking up the image of his smiling face, as he enjoyed the feeling of Peter and Charlotte's love. He gazed down at me before leaning over to kiss me tenderly. Standing on my tiptoes, I poured my love for him into the kiss, allowing the fear from the wolves' attack to fade away and be replaced by the love he was sending me.

It was a soul kiss, nothing more and nothing less. Although my body was also responding with passion, the very essence of my spirit was filled with Jasper and my love for him. I wrapped myself around him, touching him everywhere I could reach. Closing my eyes, I focused on the feel of his silken hair and marbled skin beneath my hands.

Finally, we simultaneously broke the kiss. Gasping, I stared up at the eyes that I loved so much. "Let's go upstairs," he said huskily, before sweeping me off my feet and rushing us to our room. In the next instant, we were in our bed. Hovering over me, he looked down before leaning in to kiss me. Suddenly, the intense emotions I had been holding at bay caught up with me.

My grief for Charlie, my guilt over the manner of his death, and worst of all, my fear for the safety of the people I loved washed over me, choking me with its intensity. My breath caught as I looked desperately up at Jasper.

His eyes widened in concern before he sat up, pulling me into his lap so that I was facing him. I clutched at him frantically as my emotions continued to drown me. "Just let it out, Bella," he said calmly, running his hands up and down my back, rocking me back and forth. "You don't have to hold it together anymore. I have you; just let it come out."

I felt a cracking sensation inside me, and broke into sobs. Jasper rocked backward awkwardly as my emotional onslaught hit him, but he recovered quickly and began soothing me again. "Let it out and let it go, Baby."

I clung to his words the way my hands clung to his shirt. "I was so scared that I would lose one of you," I sobbed.

"I know, I was scared too," he admitted softly. "But we're all okay, so we can let go of that fear. I can feel your guilt, and you can let go of that too," he continued. "You didn't kill Charlie; Victoria did. You didn't do anything besides fall in love, and that's not something you can control. It's okay to be sad, but he would never want you to feel responsible."

The words were nothing my own intellect hadn't thought of on my own, but hearing it from him seemed to flip a switch in my brain, and I allowed the burden of my guilt to fall away. The sensation made me dizzy, and I literally fell backwards into Jasper's arms. He helped me lie down, smiling gently as he felt the change in my emotional state.

I leaned up to press my mouth to his, suddenly needing to physically reassure myself that we were truly safe and together. Jasper looked down at me in surprise, his expression a mixture of desire and uncertainty.

I pulled him down on top of me and hitched a leg around his hip. "Need to feel you," I muttered frantically, as I began pulling at his shirt. He lifted his arms, allowing me to pull the cotton over his head before he leaned back down to reclaim my lips. I ran my hands over the planes of his back while he ground his erection into me.

"Oh, Bella, what you do to me," he murmured, lifting my shirt off. He chuckled briefly and I looked up at him for an explanation.

"In all the excitement, we forgot to take your disguise off, Sweetheart," he said, running his hands through my hair. "The wig just slipped off when I took the top layer off." I stared at him in disbelief that I could forget the uncomfortable wig before shrugging it off and pulling the other two sweatshirts off.

"That's better," I sighed, once I was down to my bra. Quirking an eyebrow up at him, I teased, "Unless you want me to be blonde for a change?"

"No way," he said immediately. "You're perfect how you are." In the next second, my bra was gone and I was on my back as Jasper slid my bulky sweats off of my legs. I gasped in surprise and desire when I felt his cool tongue tracing my hip bone. Unable to control the movement, I thrust my hips toward him.

"Don't tease, I've had a bad day," I gasped.

"Let me make it all go away," he answered with a leering smile. Moaning, I lay back on the bed as he thrust his tongue deep inside my folds. I thrust myself down onto his face, desperate for more friction. He pulled back, and I whimpered at the loss until he replaced his tongue with his fingers.

"Jasper," I begged, clutching the sheets in my hands.

"Easy, Sweetheart," he crooned before his tongue hit my clit. My orgasm was immediate and intense, and I screamed his name as I writhed in ecstasy. I tugged on his hair, and he obliged me by moving up my body, pressing kisses along the way.

Finally, his mouth met mine, and I sighed at the combination of our tastes. "I need you inside me," I whispered into his mouth. Reaching down, I unbuttoned his jeans. He moaned as I moved my hand inside to slide over his hard length. He thrust into my hand and quickly shimmied his jeans off.

Seconds later, I sighed in pleasure and relief as he thrust his dick deep inside of me. He locked his arms beside me and leaned his forehead down to mine. Groaning my name, he pulled all the way out before plunging in again. I wrapped my legs around his hips, eager to feel every inch of him inside me. "Never leave me," I cried out as he moved in and out.

"Never," he breathed into my mouth. I lifted my own hips to meet his thrusts, feeling another orgasm beginning low in my body. "Come, Bella. I need you to come," he ordered in a raspy voice, his beautiful face twisting with the beginnings of his own orgasm. He pushed in hard, and I felt him twitching inside me as he began to come. He cried my name again, and I fell over the edge once more, watching the pleasure on his face as I did.

He pressed kisses along my neck and collarbones while we came down together before pulling out of me. He scooped me up and carried me into the shower. Nothing escaped his attention, and he knew I always craved a shower after flying. I smiled at his thoughtfulness before stepping into the spray. He joined me, and we made quick work of washing each other.

"Tired yet?" Jasper asked, after we finished up.

"No, still pretty strung out," I admitted, curling up on my side to look up at him as he sat on the edge of the bed. "I was thinking," I began hesitantly, plucking at Charlotte's expensive linens.

Jasper knelt beside the bed, looking up through his damp hair at me. Tenderly, I smoothed the long curls away from his eyes. "You were thinking…," he reminded me with a smile.

"Sorry, got distracted," I said, continuing to play with his hair. Pulling my thoughts together again, I started over. "I was thinking about how it sucks that I can't visit Charlie's grave anymore…"

Jasper interrupted me, his jaw tight with anger. "Bella, if you want to go see Charlie's grave, we'll go. We violated no part of that treaty, and you have every right to be there. Wolves or no wolves…"

I calmly reached down and put my finger against his cool lips. "No, Jasper. It's not worth it to me to risk any of us getting hurt. But…," I continued, "That got me thinking about honoring him some other way; a way that allows me to feel closer to him than that hunk of marble."

He nodded his head and looked back at me, clearly waiting for me to elaborate. "I assume you came up with a specific idea?" he asked.

"Well, yeah, I did. But, I could only do it with your help, so if you don't like the idea, I'll think up something else," I began rambling. It was his turn to use his finger to shut my mouth, and I smiled sheepishly at him before kissing his fingertip.

"Whatever you need," he said simply. "Name it, and I'll do it." My heart swelled with gratitude for him, so I mentally relaxed in hopes that he would pick up some of what I was feeling. His face relaxed into a smile and I knew he had gotten what I sent him.

"I want to buy Forks a new police cruiser in memory of Charlie," I blurted out. "I understand if it's too much, but I just think it's something that Charlie would really appreciate."

He continued smiling, and I began to hope that he wouldn't go into sticker shock at the cost of my idea. "I think that's a great idea, Bella. I'll get Jenks right on it. If it's alright with you, I can ask him to do it in the Cullen family's name. That way it won't raise any suspicions when the donation comes through."

I thought about it for a moment, honestly not liking the idea of the Cullens getting credit for my idea. Eventually, the "big girl" side of my brain took over, and I accepted the fact that it wasn't important whose name was on the donation. I would know who it came from and that Charlie would be happy about anything that assisted the men and women he had worked with for so long.

He watched me during my deliberation, smiling when I gave him my approval. "You're an amazing woman, Bella Swan," he said, climbing into bed with me. "An amazing human woman, who needs to try to sleep sometime during this twenty-four hour period," he teased, tucking me against his side and turning out the light with the handy remote.

I snuggled up with him, surprised at how sleepy I suddenly felt. I drifted off to the sound of his quiet humming, safe and secure in his strong arms.

The next two weeks passed quickly. Peter and Char went hunting again, and Peter returned from the trip his normal irrepressible self. He began teasing me again, but I was more tolerant of it now that I had experienced the fear of losing him.

The drama in Forks had brought the four of us closer as a family. The three vampires shared a strong bond of friendship from their shared history. After the attack, I felt like a full member of the group, despite my fragile human status. We were all more physically affectionate with each other, tending to cuddle up whenever possible. Even Jasper and Peter were more demonstrative with each other, giving each other frequent shoulder claps and half-man-hugs.

The sense of belonging was heady to me after my years of isolation. I began to truly relax for the first time since Edward had walked away from me. Finally, I began to accept that I was a valued member of this family. Jenks came through with the memorial cruiser for Charlie, and I kept the news clipping of the dedication ceremony in my bedside table.

Memorializing Charlie had given me the idea to do something for Renee and Phil as well. Jenks came through again, and the University of Florida now had two full ride scholarships in each of their names. Phil's was a baseball scholarship and Renee's was a general studies award. It felt good to know that their names would live on and benefit many students over the years.

I was making steady progress on my culinary "eat before I change" list. Charlotte and I had a blast in the kitchen, trying and occasionally succeeding in replicating the dishes I wanted to taste one more time. Experiencing my "last dishes" in front of the three vampires brought a new level of enjoyment, as I would try to describe what was so great about what I was eating.

I dried my hands after finishing up my breakfast dishes before tossing it on the counter. We had a state of the art dishwasher, but I couldn't bring myself to run it half empty, so I did most of my dishes by hand. I walked out to the family room, noticing that Jasper had returned from hunting and was on the phone.

He waved at me as I walked in, and I sat down on the sofa to wait for him to finish. "Okay, I'll run it by the rest of the family and let you know," he said cheerfully, before hanging up and turning toward me.

"That was Emmett," he announced. "The Denali's are visiting Carlisle and Esme right now, which means Emmett and Rose can take a break from watching Alice. He wants to know if they can come out for a few days. I'm pretty sure Peter and Char will be okay with it, but I wanted to check with you before I agreed."

I looked at him in surprise as he sat down. "You didn't have to ask me, Jasper. I'm fine with it, but you don't have to ask my permission."

He took my hand in his before answering firmly, "Yes, Bella, I do have to ask. This is your home; you have a say in who visits here. I happen to know Peter and Charlotte well enough that I can predict their answer. But, I know Rose isn't always easy to get along with, so I want to clear it with you."

"Thank you," I answered softly. "I know this is my home, but thank you. I just meant that you don't ever have to ask my permission for Em to come, and…, well…, I know Rose is part of the package. Call him back and tell him to get his ass out here. I'm gonna go shower."

Standing, I blew him a kiss. He laughed out loud, dialing his phone. I started to walk out of the room, but Peter walked in and blocked my way, a shit-eating grin all over his face and a newspaper tucked under his arm.

"What?" I demanded suspiciously, as he led me back over to the couch by my arm.

"Where's the love and trust?" he asked in mock outrage. "I have somethin' I wanna show you, Darlin'."

I mentally braced myself for fuckery and sat down next to Peter. Jasper and Charlotte joined us, avid curiosity written all over their faces.

"Okay," I said impatiently. "I'll bite. What's with the paper?" He handed me the newspaper without answering, his huge grin getting even wider. I opened it up to the front page, revealing that it was a Port Angeles Peninsula Daily News, dated several days ago.

Raising an eyebrow at Peter, I began to skim the page. The headline caught me right away: **Surprise Blood Drive Benefits Many.** A large color photo underneath showed a Bloodmobile parked in front of the community center at the Quileute Reservation.

"What is this?" I asked Peter in confusion.

"Read on and see, Little Bird," Peter answered smugly. Realizing I would get my answers faster by reading, I shut my mouth and went back to the article.

My jaw dropped as I read the story of a "scheduling error" that led to a Bloodmobile arriving at the Reservation, unbeknownst to the tribe, for the first ever Charlie Swan Annual Blood Drive. Apparently tempers had run short during the discussion to determine who was at fault, and a minor scuffle ensued before some of the elder tribe members intervened to encourage full participation in the drive.

The article mentioned an ongoing aura of tension during the day, evidenced by several emotional outbursts from young members of the tribe, even as they made their donations. An elder spokesperson was quoted as saying, "Despite the fact that this is a practical joke in poor taste, we will seize the opportunity to honor a good man by helping others. We believe we know who is responsible, and we will be vigilant to prevent any other insulting pranks of this nature."

Dropping the paper, I stared at Peter blankly for a moment before exclaiming incredulously, "You sent the fucking Bloodmobile to the reservation!" The three of them stared back at me for a moment until I finally exploded into uncontrollable laughter. I vaguely noticed Jasper's hands preventing me from collapsing as I giggled, tears rolling down my face.

"The Bloodmobile, Jasper," I gasped through the laughter. "Because you're vampires! The vampire sent the bloodmobile to the werewolves!"

"I thought you'd appreciate the humor of it, Birdy," Peter answered cheerfully. Jasper muttered something about Peter being lucky that I wasn't insulted by his pranks, so I squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"This is one of the best things that anyone has ever done for me, Peter," I said, wiping the tears off my face as I settled. He got an affronted expression.

"Who said I did it for you, Darlin'?" he asked with a teasing wink. "Couldn't let those puppies off so easy after they took me down. Gotta get 'em all riled up so they'll be in peak form for the rematch," he finished, his crimson eyes gleaming with violence.

The thought of Peter endangering himself for revenge froze me for a moment, but I forced myself to shake it off. "Good luck with that, Peter. Just don't expect another emergency snack if it doesn't go your way again."

He opened his mouth to protest, but Charlotte cut him off with a smack to the back of the head. "Shut up, you Ass," she ordered coldly. "You will do know such of a thing as go back there to play with those dogs. Now," she continued, turning to Jasper, "When do I need to have things ready for our houseguests?"

The conversation turned to Rose and Emmett's imminent visit and the few preparations that we needed to make for them. Charlotte and I debated on what bedroom to give them, given Emmett's sensibilities about my love life. I finally convinced her that he would just have to grow up and get used to the fact that Jasper and I were having sex.

A few days later, we all gathered in the family room, waiting for Rose and Emmett. Their plane had landed an hour ago, so we expected them any minute. Peter, Charlotte, and Jasper were all relaxed as they watched a basketball game, but I was fighting nerves about the visit.

Emmett and I were on good terms again, but I worried about how Rosalie would react to all of us, now that we were truly a family. I knew she held me responsible for the collapse of the Cullen family. I wouldn't be surprised if she held a grudge against all of us, now that we were our own happy unit.

I thumbed through a magazine, chewing on my bottom lip until I felt Jasper's cool fingertip against it. "Relax," he ordered quietly, lifting me onto his lap. Sighing, I melted in to him, grateful for the peace his touch still gave me. Miraculously, Peter kept his mouth shut, and I was able to enjoy five minutes of serenity before the door bell rang.

I tensed involuntarily, while Peter and Char rushed to the answer the door. I felt the rush of chilly air before the door closed behind them. Clinging to Jasper's hand, I watched Emmett offer Peter and Charlotte hearty hugs, followed by Rose's cooler, yet polite greeting. Jasper helped me stand as the others crossed the room.

"Bells!" Emmett called out happily, sweeping me into a big hug. I closed my eyes and clung tightly to his large shoulders, laughing when he swung me in a circle.

"I missed you too, Emmett," I said, when he finally sat me down in front of Rosalie and Jasper, who were both watching us with amused expressions.

"You better not make her puke, Emmett," Rose said dryly, approaching me with her arms open. I stared at her in shock for a moment before leaning in for a quick hug. "You look good, Bella," she said, eyeing me closely from head to toe. "Fucking Jasper suits you."

I rolled my eyes at her while Charlotte gave a low growl. Jasper covered a laugh with a cough while Peter chortled outright. But the winning reaction belonged to Emmett, who let out an outraged cry of, "Rosalie!" He stared at her, speechless, although his mouth continued to move.

Peter was holding Charlotte back with one hand as she tried to get in Rose's face. "Listen here, Bitch. You don't come into our house and talk shit about what any of us do…"

"Relax," I interrupted her. "No need to get fired up, Charlotte. She's right, fucking Jasper does suit me." Peter laughed out loud again, still restraining his bristling wife. I glanced at Rosalie, who was reluctantly smiling at me. "It was a compliment," I said with a shrug, before turning to Emmett.

"Now you," I began sternly, poking a finger into his hard chest. "You need to understand that I am a grown woman. I have no intention of pretending to be a virgin again just because you're visiting. Jasper and I have sex. A lot. If that makes you uncomfortable, I guess you'll have to leave," I said sadly. "I'd miss you, but I'm not gonna change just because you miss 'innocent, yet sexually frustrated Bella'."

Emmett stared at me in disbelief before eventually snapping his mouth shut.

"What's it gonna be, Big Guy?" Peter asked curiously. "Deal with the fact that she wears sexy little big girl panties now, or kiss her goodbye? I really hope ya'll don't go. You're good entertainment!"

Emmett blanched with disgust and gave a shiver before giving me a sheepish smile. "Okay, Bella. I'll deal with it. No whining, I promise. I just worry a little about the company you're keeping," he teased. "These two trouble makers are rubbing off on you," he said, pointing at Peter and Charlotte.

I knew he was only half joking, but I took what I could get. "No way, Em. I'm the trouble-maker in this house, not these two."

Charlotte chuckled and even Rosalie cracked a smile at my weak joke. Relieved that the feud was over for the moment, I sat back down on the couch. Peter and Char offered a tour of the home to Rosalie and Emmett, so the four of them left the room, toting several designer suitcases.

Jasper sat down on the floor in front of me, and I took the opportunity to run my fingers through his dusty blonde curls. He tipped his head back and looked up at me. "That went well, I thought," he said dryly. "Think we'll avoid bloodshed while they're here?"

I smiled down at him. "Well, since you guys don't bleed, I'm gonna bet 'no' on the bloodshed. Violence, probably. Bloodshed, no."

He smiled up at me, his face perfectly relaxed. I treasured moments like this with him. Although he was far from the silent, tortured man I had known in Forks, his smile was still less frequent than I wished, and I cherished each one I witnessed. We sat together quietly, enjoying each other's smiles until the others rejoined us.

"So what's fun around here?" Emmett asked doubtfully. "I didn't even see any cows to tip on the drive out."

Peter chuckled as he answered, "Nope, no cows, and not much nightlife, I'm afraid. There's a decent bar in town, but it's country line dancing only. No city techno scene around here."

Rosalie rolled her eyes and huffed, but Emmett got excited. "Line dancing! Great, I'm in!"

Jasper looked up at me, raising his eyebrows in question. Smiling, I answered, "No way I'm missing Emmett line dance. I'm in too."

"Guess we'll have to bust out the contacts, Peter," Charlotte said cheerfully. "This I gotta see."

"Aww, do we have to? They itch, Baby," Peter whined back. "Let's just wear shades."

"Too conspicuous at night in this little town, and you know it," Char answered primly. "You'll live."

He groaned dramatically, giving me a wink before I could feel too bad for him.

"I'll need to hunt before we go," Emmett said, looking at Rosalie and Jasper. "Care to come with?"

"I'll come," Jasper replied, standing up and giving me a quick kiss.

"I'm good until tomorrow," Rosalie answered quietly.

I noticed Peter get a funny look on his face before he shook his head and spoke up. "I think I'll tag along with you fellas," he said slowly. "Watch you play with the wildlife a little while the girls catch up."

"Just no interference," Jasper warned sternly. "I don't want to be out there for hours just because you think it's funny to spook our quarry."

"I'm hurt, J," Peter gasped. "To imply that I would make it more difficult for you to get a meal? I'm just hurt."

Jasper looked at him evenly. "I'm not implyin' shit. I'm warnin' you. If you chase away my meal, I'll repay the favor next time you're hunting. Clear?"

"Crystal," Peter answered with a chuckle. "You're no fun," he pouted, as the three men headed toward the door. "Bella, you're in charge," he called out over his shoulder. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Charlotte and I laughed as we waved the boys off. She turned back to me with her eyebrow raised. "If we're goin' out, we need to feed you too, Sugar. Anything you want to cross off the bucket list today?"

"Nah, I'll do something easy like grilled cheese," I replied as I stood and walked to the kitchen.

I froze when I heard Rosalie's ice cold voice cut through the room. "Bucket list?" she demanded, her amber eyes boring into mine.

I held my head up and stared back at her. "Yes, Rosalie. I have a little list of things I want to do before I'm changed," I answered evenly, as I began making my sandwich.

Her expression shifted from anger into deep sadness. "How easily you'll throw it all away," she whispered. "Your life, your humanity, gone. I hope you don't regret what you give up."

Sighing, I mentally counted to twenty. "Rosalie, we've been through this. I understand you don't agree with my decision, but I was never going to live the life that you, or Edward for that matter, wanted for me. My life is with Jasper, and since he's a vampire, that's what I will become." Struggling against a surge of anger, I pressed on. "I don't know what I ever did to earn your hate and disdain, but this is my choice. I have my eyes wide open, and I know the pros and cons. Every sacrifice this decision entails is worth it to me to be able to spend forever with Jasper."

"How I envy you that choice," Rosalie said quietly. "Did Edward ever tell you my story?"

"No," I answered. "You weren't a frequent topic of conversation between us," I added sarcastically.

She snorted at that. "Shocking," she said, rolling her eyes. She became serious again, staring over my shoulder as she began to speak. I listened silently, my eyes growing wider as she told us of her history and of her violent end at the hands of the man she had loved. She described her change, her revenge and finding Emmett.

"He is everything to me," she said passionately. "But I would give it up in a second to live the human life I was meant to. We are unnatural, Bella. Think hard before you choose."

I stood silently for a minute, processing her story and her warning. I was horrified at the way she had suffered as a human, but I was even more horrified to hear that she would give Emmett up to regain her mortality.

"Rosalie Hale," I began, striving to keep my voice free from censure. "I respect you very much for sharing your story with us, and I understand that you would choose differently if our roles were reversed. I can respect that difference of opinion. What I can't respect," I said earnestly, "is the fact that you say you would give Emmett up. I don't believe it, and I don't think you do either. I see the way you are with him. He completes you, and if the mortality fairy granted your wish for a human life tomorrow, you would spend every fragile second you were given missing him. Don't you dare belittle what you have," I warned. "I know you've experienced loss, but don't ignore what you gained."

Thinking of the things that Charlie, Renee, and Phil would miss out on, my voice grew heavy with emotion. "Don't live focusing on what might have been. You might never have had children. You might have hated being a mother. You might have died two weeks after your wedding. Your human life might have been full of despair. You'll never know. What you do know is that you have the love of a fantastic man. Admit that, and accept it. Let the might-have-beens go, and be thankful for what you have now."

Rosalie and Charlotte both looked at me with shocked expressions. "I have no more right to judge you than you do me," I began in a softer tone, "and I'll never bring it up again. But I'm calling bullshit on you when you say having Emmett isn't worth being a vampire. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat my sandwich in peace before we go out tonight. I plan on having fun while my brother is in town. I hope you'll join us, but I understand if you don't want to be around me," I said firmly as I stood to leave.

Turning to Char, I asked cheerfully, "Come help me get ready in twenty minutes or so?"

"Sure thing, Bella," she replied quickly. "I think I'll get my shower out of the way now." She walked briskly toward her room, leaving Rosalie sitting alone on the sofa.

"I hope I see you later, Rosalie," I said quietly, as I walked away. I made my way to our room and ate my grilled cheese while I looked at the view of the mountains, feeling strangely at peace with the confrontation. Knowing Rosalie, she would either respect me more or hate me more. Whatever the outcome was, I hoped my words would help her reevaluate the life she was living. Forever is way too long to live in the past, and for her sake, I hoped she would realize it.

I decided to take my plate back to the kitchen before Charlotte came to get ready. Humming to myself, I stopped in surprise when I nearly ran into Rosalie on the stairs. "Your room's on the other side, Rose," I blurted out without thinking.

"I know, Bella," she answered, her tone surprisingly free of irritation. "I was actually coming to see you, if that's okay?" she asked hesitantly.

"Oh, um, sure," I answered awkwardly. "Just let me take my plate to the kitchen, and I'll be right with you." I ran quickly down to the kitchen to dispose of the dish, but I slowed down on the way back, unsure if I really wanted to continue our conversation.

She fell into step behind me and followed me silently to my room. "Thanks for talking to me, Bella," she began after I sat down on the edge of the bed. "I've been thinking about what you said earlier. While I don't agree with everything you said, you were right about some stuff. I've been too willing to think about what I missed out on instead of what this life has given me, especially Emmett."

My thoughts raced for an appropriate response. I was thrilled for her sake that she was seeing the light, but I didn't know what to say to her now. "Umm…, I'm glad I could help, Rosalie," I stammered eventually.

She raised an eyebrow and snorted before cracking a smile at me. "Don't expect an instantaneous personality change or anything," she warned. "I'm still me. I'm just trying to see things a little differently. You know, appreciate the most important thing in my world a little more."

We both turned as Char tapped on the door before walking in. "Group effort getting ready tonight?" she asked casually, throwing open the door to my closet.

Shrugging, I answered cheerfully, "Why not? No short skirts, though. Still too cold for my human ass."

We all laughed at that and fell to the serious job of primping for a night of small town line dancing. From intense, drama filled conversations to silly dress up in less than an hour. _My life is a science fiction soap opera,_ I thought to myself, stepping into the hot shower. _It's a good soap opera, though. No way I'd change the channel during commercials. You never know what crazy shit is gonna happen next._

**AN- Sorry this is so late. My daughter and I are both sick with the cold from Hell, and I'm getting no sleep. Whine, whine whine, etc. Then, mynxi and I had major technical failure getting the chapter back and forth to each other. It slowed us down by three whole days! Thanks for your patience!**

**Thank you, MM, for loving my short-bus ass, and for the chicken soup. You take such good care of me! I saved you a nice spot next to me here in the black hole. It's movie night, so if you bring snacks, I'll make margaritas!**

**My thanks to Mouse55 for nominating "A Moment Changes Everything" for a Hidden Star Award. These are awards for less well-known fics that haven't previously won an award. AMCE is nominated in the "Best Overall" category. I can honestly say that I never expected to be nominated for an award, and I am humbled that she thinks I deserved it. Check out her fic "Enough is Enough." It's a very unique AH Edward/Bella story that has also been nominated (congrats, Sweets!) Then go vote for us at http:/thehiddenstarawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com (Just remove the parenthesis and put the periods back in.) Voting for my category runs from Sept. 16****th**** to Sept. 20****th****. **

**Huge thanks to VSPS for her review with the idea to memorialize Charlie with a police cruiser, as well as the most excellent suggestion for a surprise blood drive at the res! I loved both ideas, and she was gracious enough to allow me to use them! Hope you like what I did, Sugar!**

**Finally, I had the immense honor of being interviewed by the amazing Lady Blue Knight and siobhan2006 for their beautiful new blog, Twilight Between the Sheets. Go check it out at http:/twilightbetweenthesheets(dot)blogspot(dot)com . Lots of good stuff to read and pretty pics to stare at! I still can't believe I've been interviewed by these two amazing gals- I drop everything to read anything they write!  
**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-three

**AN- Just another thank you to VSPS for allowing me to use her fantastic idea for the police cruiser and blood drive last chapter. So many of you raved about it in reviews, but it was 100% her idea! She has a really good fic going on called "Be Careful What You Wish For." It's a really original setup, and one of my favorite characters is actually Tanya! Check it out and leave her love. **

**Mynxi= the bomb. Me= not good enough to kiss her sexy black boots, so I'll just lick them instead. Love you, BB.**

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer.**

**JPOV**

Peter and I sat on a tree branch watching Emmett drain the angry bear he had taken down. Though the air was still cold, there were signs that spring was approaching. The afternoon sun was higher in the sky and the wildlife was becoming more active around us.

"Does it taste better than it smells?" Peter asked, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

"Not really," I sighed back. True to his word, Peter had not interfered with our hunting. Somehow he was still managing to be annoying by asking a million questions about eating animals. It wasn't like he hadn't seen me hunt before, so the barrage of questions about techniques and tastes was getting on my nerves. "Carnivores taste better than herbivores in general," I added, hoping to stave off another query.

"Whatever, Jasper," Emmett called up, disposing of the carcass. "Bear is as good as it gets in the animal kingdom."

"Humans are animals, you know?" Peter said slyly, before jumping down to the ground. Sighing again, I hopped down to help Emmett move the bear out of plain sight.

"I'm ignoring that," I said brusquely, glaring at Peter.

"So Bella looks good," Emmett said quietly, after we had finished with the bear. I smiled to myself and sat down on a rock, ready for the Inquisition to begin. Big Brother Emmett was on duty and I was going to have to fill him in on the past few weeks.

"She's fine now," I replied carefully. "We had a close call up in Forks a few weeks ago, but she handled it well."

Emmett's tawny eyes bored into mine as he stalked toward me. "What sort of close call?" he demanded. "And what the Hell were you doing up in Forks?"

Chuckling, Peter intercepted Emmett and gently pushed him back to sit on another rock. "Relax," he said casually. "We took her up there to say her farewells to her father. Things were goin' just fine until a pack of shape shifters stuck their stinky noses in our business."

Emmett cut him off, radiating agitation as he stood up. "The Quileutes are shifting again? How many? Was she hurt?" He fired off questions rapidly, his concern escalating rapidly.

"Relax," I repeated. "There were a half dozen of them at the cemetery. Peter got distracted trying to protect Bella and watch out for Char at the same time. One of the pups got him pretty good. Bella wasn't hurt, but she had a close call."

I watched him process the information, his entire body visibly relaxing with the news that Bella hadn't been injured. I relayed the rest of the day's events to him, including Bella's blood donation to help Peter.

Smiling ruefully, Emmett glanced at Peter. "She's something else, isn't she? You're lucky she cares about you."

His face uncharacteristically serious, Peter nodded at Emmett. "I know I am," he answered simply. He and Emmett regarded each other for a moment, each of them projecting a strong sense of protection for Bella.

Rolling my eyes, I decided to break up the big brother pissing contest. "Any change in Alice?" I asked Emmett, shooting Peter a warning glare. Emmett may look like a teddy bear, but you can only push his buttons for so long before he snaps. Peter's years with Maria made him more than capable of taking Emmett, but I knew Bella would hate the idea of them fighting over her.

"Not really, man," Emmett answered sadly. "She had a few days where she started talking again, but it was all gibberish about her visions. Any word from your Vampire Whisperer?" he asked Peter hopefully.

Peter shook his head apologetically. "Haven't chased him down yet," he admitted. "I have a few leads though, and sooner or later someone I know will run into him. I have a good feeling about it," he added cheerfully.

That information brought a smile to my face. Peter's intuition was rarely wrong, and I would really appreciate having one of the big problems hanging over our heads crossed off the list.

"So you and Bella are doing good?" Emmett asked hesitantly, his emotions an odd mix of embarrassment, concern, and affection.

"Yeah, we're great," I answered, wondering where he was headed with the conversation.

"Do you ever think about how you'll handle it when Edward comes back?" Emmett demanded bluntly. "You know he'll find out eventually, and you know he'll want to see her when that happens."

"Have you heard from him?" I barked out harshly. I was more than willing to address Emmett's concerns, but my priority was looking out for Bella.

"No, Jasper," Emmett answered rapidly. "Esme got an e-mail from him a few weeks ago. Said he was still in South America, but not much else. She didn't mention you guys when she replied," he added. "But if he asks about Bella, she'll have to tell him the truth. I just want to know that you're mentally ready to deal with him when he shows up here, Jasper. I don't see him handling the information well, and I don't want Bella in the middle of anything messy."

His words caused a flash of resentment at the implication that I was less than capable of keeping Bella safe, but I forced myself to remember that he was speaking out of his concern for her.

"Honestly, Emmett, I'm hoping he'll stay out of our way until after Bella's changed. She's told me she doesn't want to see him again. Not sure that's realistic, but I know she'll feel better meeting him on equal footing, when it eventually happens. That said," I continued seriously, "if he shows up sooner than that, we'll deal with it. Between Peter, Charlotte, and myself, there's not much we can't handle."

Peter grunted in agreement, but Emmett still looked doubtful. "Don't forget what it was like wrestling with him, J," he insisted. "He's always a step ahead because he knows what you decide to do as soon as you think it. When you two sparred, he came out on top as often as you did."

Peter laughed out loud and I couldn't stop my own smile from splitting my face. "Emmett, you don't really think with my history that I went all out when we all wrestled, do you?" He stared up at me, confusion written all over his face. "I held back, Emmett," I said gently. "Too easy to get carried away if I didn't."

I felt Emmett's disbelief followed rapidly by profound disappointment. "So all the times I beat you?" he asked in a wounded tone.

Peter guffawed loudly, so I shot a nasty look at him. "You're really good," I assured Emmett. "It's just that I spent over a hundred years fighting for survival."

Peter stood, walked over to Emmett, and offered him a hand. "Don't feel bad, Big Guy," he said sincerely. "Just be happy that Bella's in the middle of a bad-ass family of vampires who don't plan on takin' shit from a spoiled little boy. She's 'bout as safe as a human can be."

I stood to join them and we walked slowly back home. "I'd be surprised if Edward gets violent anyway, Emmett. He was always so focused on Bella's safety; I can't imagine he would put her at risk by picking a fight in front of her."

"Yeah, you're probably right," he answered, clearly relieved. "I still hope he leaves her in peace for awhile though."

"Me too," I replied. "We could do with a few drama free weeks while Bella gets ready to be changed."

That comment put a smile on Emmett's face. "She's gonna be awesome as a vampire," he enthused.

"Damn straight," Peter agreed, as we walked on.

We took our time getting back to the house, giving me an opportunity to enjoy Peter's silly antics in front of Emmett. He told him about the blood drive at the reservation, and I thought I was going to have the unprecedented experience of watching a vampire pass out from laughter.

"Oh priceless, Dude!" Emmett gasped out around his laughter. "A werewolf blood drive! Masterful!"

I enjoyed the easy banter between the two of them, and the rest of the walk home passed quickly while they traded tales of practical jokes from their pasts. When we reached the house, we heard the three girls' voices coming from the room Bella and I shared. Glancing at the clock, I realized they were probably getting ready for our big night out on the little town.

Although the girls' voices were calm, the emotions I was picking up were slightly tense. The thought of interrupting the three of them for my own shower was not appealing, but I wasn't about to avoid my own bathroom over it.

"Better you than me, Brother," Peter said sympathetically, before turning toward his own room. Emmett laughed shortly and disappeared into the room he was staying in.

Bracing myself, I opened the door and stepped into my room. Charlotte and Rosalie both glanced over at me before turning back to staring at the closed bathroom door. Raising my eyebrow in curiosity, I walked over and joined them on the edge of the bed.

"Bella, come on out and let us see," Charlotte ordered sweetly. "Hurry your ass up; Jasper needs the shower!"

"Keep your panties on," Bella muttered from the bathroom. Her bare feet padded across the marble tile until she reached the door and threw it open, marching out with a glare on her face.

Char and Rosalie both let out low whistles, but I was struck silent for a moment. She looked stunning in a bright red, off-the-shoulder top which ended just above her low-rise black leather pants. Her hair was styled in curls down her back, but her face looked nervous.

"Do I look alright?" she asked me hesitantly. "It's a little 'prettier' than my normal style," she blurted out before I could answer. "And I don't know if I can really pull it off…"

I silenced her worries with my mouth on hers while I grabbed her ass, rubbing her up against my hard dick. "Need any more evidence that you look great?" I asked softly, enjoying the catch in her breath as I broke off the kiss. She smiled sweetly at me and shook her head negatively, blushing at the catcalls Rose and Char were making.

"Get in the shower, Romeo," Char ordered cheekily before swatting me on the ass. Chuckling, I headed into the bathroom, my dick twitching in my pants as I listened to Bella growl at Charlotte.

"Hands off my man," I heard her snap before I turned the water on. She and Charlotte dissolved into giggles, and I even felt a surge of humor from Rose. Relieved that everyone seemed to be getting along, I jumped in the shower and made quick work of getting ready.

Thankfully, the girls had vacated the room by the time I finished my shower, so I was able to dress in peace. I kept my outfit simple, sticking to jeans and a black shirt. I made my way downstairs to join the others.

Charlotte was decked out in jeans, a fitted white blouse and white high-heeled boots. Her blonde curls reminded me of the pinups that were so popular during the Second World War. Rosalie was an ice princess in white corduroy trousers and a pale blue sweater.

"Lookin' good ladies," I said appreciatively, taking them all in.

"Not lookin' so bad yourself," Bella said softly, walking over to give me a kiss. It was soft and chaste, yet I still lost myself in the heat of her mouth before we were interrupted by Peter and Emmett walking in.

"Get a room," Peter called out with a smirk on his face. Bella smiled against my lips before winking at me.

"Please," she said in a bored tone, without even looking at him. "That's rated G for this house, mostly due to you and your wife."

She finally turned to face him, taking in his attire. He was all cowboyed out tonight, from the tips of his beat up boots to the crown of his hat. Jeans and a red flannel shirt completed the look and earned him a low whistle from Bella.

"Sorry, Baby, but I'm a married man," he teased her, crossing the room and dipping Charlotte back for a sloppy kiss.

Bella giggled and rolled her eyes at their antics. "Oh she can admire you," Charlotte said around Peter's tongue. "She just can't touch."

I nodded at Emmett, who was dressed simply in jeans and a tight sweater. He nodded back at me over top of Rosalie's head. She had wrapped her arms around him in an uncharacteristic show of public affection. Her mood was pensive, but she smiled sweetly up at her husband, so I didn't worry about it too much.

"Ready to go?" I asked the room in general.

"In a minute," Peter answered quickly, radiating mischief. "I got somethin' for ya." Before I could wonder what it was, he tossed a black object toward me. Catching it on reflexes alone, I smiled when I realized it was a black cowboy hat, similar to one I had worn decades ago, before Alice had taken charge of my wardrobe.

Honestly, I couldn't remember the last time I had worn a cowboy hat, and it felt unfamiliar when I slipped it on my head. However, any discomfort was more than worth it when I felt the strong rush of lust and admiration from Bella.

"You like it?" I asked her unnecessarily, leaning down for a kiss while pushing the hat back out of the way.

"Oh, I like," she answered breathlessly, before our lips met. The rest of the room disappeared as we fell into each other, until Emmett finally cleared his throat. I could feel Bella's irritation at the interruption, but before she could tear into him, Rosalie spoke up.

"Actually, Emmett and I have something for you, Bella," she said quietly, walking over and handing Bella a large box.

I felt Bella's curiosity as she removed the lid, followed rapidly by delight when she lifted the black leather boots out.

"Rosalie, these are great!" she enthused, bending over to slip them on over her skinny jeans. "Thank you both!"

"I'm glad you like them," Rose answered quietly. "They reminded me of the ones you admired when we went shopping together."

"They're perfect," Bella sighed in satisfaction after she laced them up. "The heel's a little high, but I like it, especially since I don't have to work in them," she said with a smile. I watched in frozen shock as Bella stood up and walked over to give Rosalie a quick hug.

I felt Rose's own surprise at the gesture before Bella moved on to Emmett. "Thank you guys," she repeated after giving him a big hug. He beamed down at her with a goofy grin until Rosalie finally rolled her eyes and gave the marching orders.

"Let's get this show on the road," she said dryly. "I'm sure the nightlife doesn't last long in this town." Her feelings didn't match her impatient words, and I shot her a questioning glance. She shrugged at me and I figured I'd try to pin her down about it later.

Peter and Charlotte popped in dark contact lenses to disguise their red eyes from the innocent humans. We all grabbed coats and piled into the giant SUV, laughing at Charlotte as she rubbed it in to Peter.

"I told you the extra row of seats would come in handy," she said gaily. "You thought it was too much, but I knew we'd end up usin' 'em!"

Charlotte drove us into town, parking on the street several blocks from the bar. "Crowded tonight," Peter commented as we got out of the vehicle. "Never seen the street this busy before."

We walked quickly toward the bar, Bella's breath billowing in the cold night air. We passed by the high school, laughing at the giant bear statue on the front steps.

"That's the goofiest looking bear mascot I've ever seen," Bella said, impressed. "It's like he's trying to be gangsta or something." Sure enough, the bear's stance and position of its arms did evoke the image of a street thug. We all laughed at her observation and made our way into the crowded bar.

Rosalie used her ice queen stare to secure us a large table and we quickly ordered a round of beers. Bella's face after her first sip was hilarious. "This I don't get," she admitted after swallowing the amber liquid. "That just tastes nasty!"

"Tequila shots from now on, then!" Charlotte cheered as Peter drug her onto the dance floor. She caught hold of Bella's hand, pulling her along with them. I watched with a smile as Charlotte and Peter began to show Bella the steps. Bella was a quick learner, and before long she was shaking her sexy little ass with the best of them, her face radiant with pleasure as she danced.

Unable to resist, Emmett soon stood up to join them on the dance floor, his face falling slightly when Rosalie shook her head negatively at his invitation to come along. "You go on," she said softly. "I need to catch up with Jasper for a minute; I'll be there in a few minutes."

Emmett's face relaxed back into his usual cheerful expression. "I'll be waiting, Baby," he answered, turning to walk toward the dance floor.

"I know," she whispered back. I stared down at her exquisitely beautiful face, perplexed by the mixture of love, guilt, and gratitude I was picking up from her.

"Everything okay, Rosalie?" I asked in confusion. "You're acting a little weird, and your emotions are all over the place."

She flashed a tiny smile and shook her head. "No, I'm fine. Just having a little reality check." She shrugged her shoulders and leaned forward. "I would ask how you're doing, but I don't need to. I've never seen you so happy," she admitted. "She's really good for you, Jasper."

"She is, Rose. She accepts me for who I am and loves me without wanting to change me. I would do anything for her."

"Including leave her human?" Rosalie asked, her eyebrow raised.

Sighing, I shook my head. "If that was what she wanted, then yes, Rose, I would leave her human. But that's not what she wants, and I'll be damned if I try to talk her out of spending eternity with me." I fought my irritation with her preoccupation for Bella's humanity. It was none of her business, and I was as tired of hearing about it.

"Relax, Jasper," she said dryly. "I'm done meddling in your business. Bella has a good head on her shoulders and she knows what she's getting into. I respect her right to make that decision and I'm done trying to convince her to live the life I would have chosen." She raised her untouched bottle of beer toward me before faking a sip. "Here's to endless lifetimes of happiness for you both," she said, smirking.

"Thanks Rosie," I replied, laughing as I tipped my bottle back at her. "I'm proud of you," I told her quietly. While I could never doubt the depth of her love for Emmett, I had also spent years feeling her resentment for the life she was condemned to. Right now, she was free of any sentiment other than love with a hint of regret for her previous lack of appreciation for what she had in Emmett.

We sat together in companionable silence, watching the others enjoying themselves on the crowded dance floor. Char had partnered off with Emmett while Peter taught Bella a variation of a quick little two step. She laughed as he tried to guide her with his hands, causing Rosalie to arch an eyebrow at me.

"You don't have a problem with that?" she asked incredulously.

Shaking my head and smiling, I answered easily, "Nope. He doesn't see her that way, and even if he did, he would never do anything."

"Bonds of brotherhood?" she asked snidely.

"Nope, fear of Charlotte," I answered calmly, flashing a smile at her. "I trust them both, Rosalie. They're just having fun."

As I finished speaking, I noticed Bella glance wistfully at our table before turning her attention back to learning the dance steps.

"That's my cue, Ms. Hale," I said, standing and tipping my hat at her. She smiled back at me, waving me off.

I made my way through the crowd and placed my hands on Bella's hips from behind her. "Mind if I cut in, Darlin'?" I drawled at her.

She feigned shyness, glancing up at me through her dark lashes. "I've been hoping you'd ask," she answered softly, shooting a grateful look at Peter as he stepped away from us. I vaguely noticed Peter and Charlotte twirling around gracefully while Emmett and Rosalie spun slowly together, each couple radiating love and enjoyment.

Without speaking, I turned Bella around and pulled her tight against me, loving the feel of her soft warmth under my hands. The world melted away as the music surrounded us and we moved together as one, our eyes locked on each other until the song ended.

The tempo picked up for the next song, and Bella's eyes twinkled as she reached up, plucking the hat from my head and placing it on her own. It was too big and kept sliding down over her eyes, but she looked so damn cute that it was all I could do not to toss her over a table to have my way with her.

"It suits you," I whispered into her ear, spinning her around.

She giggled and pushed her ass against my groin. "I like it for tonight," she admitted with another laugh. "I don't think it'll be a regular part of my wardrobe though. I like it better on you, Cowboy." She flashed me a sexy little grin and spun around me in time to the music. Smirking back at her, I pulled her close to me before dipping her back just as the song ended.

She laughed when I pulled her upright, her face happy and carefree as it hadn't been since Forks. "This is fun," she said excitedly as the next song started. "This isn't my usual scene, but it's easy to dance to this stuff." I laughed and spun us back out into the middle of the dance floor.

We spent the next few hours cuttin' a rug, switching partners back and forth as the mood hit us. Peter and Emmett kept feeding Bella shots, but the steady stream of snacks Charlotte and Rose kept shoving down her seemed to offset the worst effects of the alcohol.

By the time we left, Bella was a happy little drunk girl, slurring and stumbling and finding absolutely everything funny. I tucked her under my arm when we finally walked out of the crowded little bar and headed down the cold street. Bella chattered enthusiastically about something silly to Peter, who did his best to choke down his laughter.

I was startled when Bella stopped suddenly in front of the funny-looking bear mascot. Her hand shot out and grabbed Peter's jacket, yanking him toward her. He shrugged his shoulders at me in confusion as he allowed her to pull him closer to her.

"Peter," she hissed dramatically, "that bear is looking at me funny." Emmett broke into unrestrained laughter and Rosalie and Charlotte both began giggling.

"It's not funny, Assholes," Bella said loudly. "Look at it! It's totally staring at me! You believe me, right Peter?" she asked, her round eyes pleading up at him pathetically.

He flashed a smile at me before tugging her away from the bear, wrapping his arm over her shoulder. "I do see it, Little Bird," he said in a placating tone. "You're right, that bear was definitely givin' you the stink eye, and I won't have that," he continued on, his eyes twinkling through the dull looking contacts. "No statue gets to mess with our girl, that fucker's goin' down!"

Groaning, I caught Charlotte's eye. "How bad do you think this is gonna be?" I asked her rhetorically.

"I'd say 'bout an eight on our normal scale of ten," she chuckled, clicking the key fob to unlock the doors of the SUV. We all piled into the vehicle, Peter continuing his tirade against the bear statue to a rapt Bella, promising revenge for all sorts of imagined bear insults.

Thankfully, she remained unaware of the quiet laughter surrounding her as the rest of us reacted to Peter's nonsense.

"I knew I could count on you, Peter," she sighed sleepily, leaning on his chest and putting her feet up in my lap.

"Don't you worry about a thing, Sugar," he said reassuringly, "I'll take care of everything."

"I don't even want to know," I warned him quietly. "Just remember, we want to be able to come back to this town sometime this century." I was not comforted by the silent wink he gave me in reply, but I decided to let it go and let Bella sleep until we made it home.

After Char parked the SUV in the driveway, we all climbed out. "This belongs to you, I believe," Peter said with exaggerated politeness, holding Bella's sleeping body out to me.

"Yep, all mine," I agreed quietly, happy to have her back in my arms. We all whispered our goodnights to each other and made our way to our respective rooms. Bella woke up long enough to brush her teeth and stumble into her jammies with my assistance.

"I had fun," she mumbled into my chest after I wrapped her up in the comforter.

"Me too, Sweets," I chuckled, aware that she was asleep before I spoke. Her sleep was peaceful, but after two hours, I heard suspicious activity downstairs. Sighing to myself, I debated about getting up to put a stop to whatever idiocy Peter and Emmett were up to, but I eventually decided to stay in bed with Bella. Her nightmares had increased in frequency since the drama in Forks, and a good night's sleep for her was more important to me than keeping the two troublemakers in line.

The front door opened and closed, followed by the sounds of a car starting and pulling away. An hour later, the car returned, followed by some whispers and odd thumping sounds. Consciously ignoring it, I watched the night pass into pale dawn and eventually into full sunshine before Bella began to stir.

She woke up in decent shape, probably thanks to the all the food she had eaten while she drank last night. I kissed her good morning before she made her way into the shower, and then headed downstairs to get her coffee started.

As I walked into the living room, I saw it and stopped short. Peter and Emmett looked up from the sofa, their faces full of the eagerness they were feeling. I just rolled my eyes at them and walked into the kitchen to get Bella's coffee. Rose and Charlotte laughed out loud, but I ignored them too.

By the time the coffee was finished brewing, Bella was padding down the stairs. I watched her make her way through the living room, oblivious to the newest addition to the décor.

"Thanks," she muttered gratefully, as I handed her a steaming cup of coffee. She closed her eyes and made her coffee-savoring face while she took the first sip. I chuckled at the immediate effect the caffeine had on her, watching the alertness return to her eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked suddenly, looking at me with a shrewd glance. Involuntarily, I made eye contact with Peter and she followed my gaze with her head, bringing the bear statue that now graced our living room into her line of sight. The coffee cup began to slip from her fingers, and I deftly caught it before the hot liquid could spill and burn her.

Her face was blank with shock as she crossed the living room, her eyes locked on the goofy looking mascot. Peter had pulled out his cell phone and was taking pictures as she moved closer to it, her tiny figure dwarfed by the large statue. We were all literally holding our breath while we waited for her reaction.

She stared up at the bear in silence before turning to look at Peter. "I was totally right, this thing is giving me a funny look," she deadpanned. "Now who's gonna get it out of my living room?"

She calmly walked back to the kitchen and accepted the new cup of coffee I handed her before she finally allowed her laughter to escape. "Did you know about this?" she demanded, in between her giggles.

"Nope, totally innocent," I answered truthfully. "Knew they were up to something, but I was as surprised as you were this morning."

Peter and Emmett joined us in the kitchen, and Bella gave them all the oohs and ahhs they had hoped for before ordering them to get rid of the thing.

"Get it back to the school before someone notices it's missing and replaces it, for God's sake," she said sternly. "You guys are probably on closed circuit somewhere, you know."

"No way, we took all the cameras out, Bells," Emmett answered cheerfully. "We have to wait until it's dark out to return it anyway."

"I guess I'll live with it for that long," she sighed in mock irritation. "Pretty funny, guys," she admitted, sitting down to eat the scrambled eggs I threw together for her. She finished her breakfast and we all spent a relaxing day playing board games and Wii and making jokes about gangster bears. True to their word, Peter and Emmett returned the silly statue after nightfall, returning our living room to normal.

We stayed in and watched movies that evening, aware that Bella needed a night off. Everyone was happy and relaxed, and I enjoyed the emotions around me. Bella had another dream free night, and we were up early the next morning to say "goodbye" to Rose and Emmett.

"Come back soon," Bella said sincerely to Rose after they hugged. "It was good to see you both."

"We'll come as soon as we can," Rose answered quietly, wrapping her arm around Emmett. Char and Peter said their own farewells, and I gave my own hugs to the couple I had played siblings with for decades.

"Are you ever gonna tell me what went down between you and Rose while I was out hunting?" I asked Bella idly, after Rose and Emmett were gone.

Bella shrugged innocently. "I just told Rose some stuff she needed to hear, that's all."

"That's all, huh?" I asked doubtfully. "Well, whatever you said changed her. I've never felt her so at peace as I did yesterday."

Bella's eyes grew wide with surprise. "Good," she said eventually.

"You're a special lady," I teased her. "Melting the ice queen's heart is no short order."

"Maybe not melted," she teased back. "But I definitely made a chink in her armor anyway."

Peter and Charlotte headed out for a hunting trip, so Bella and I curled up on the couch and watched Star Wars, enjoying some time alone together after our family filled weekend. I loved my friends with all my heart, but I was starting to miss quiet time alone with Bella. Smiling, I reminded myself that I would have plenty of time with her during her newborn year. Emmett was right, Bella Swan was going to be an amazing vampire.

**AN- Hope you're enjoying the fluff because action is around the corner! Thanks again to everyone who reviews- it really does make me write faster!**

**Thanks to MM for putting up with me in my (legal) drug-induced haze! You're even funnier when I'm messed up, Dearest! **


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-four

**Mynxi is amazing. I love her so.**

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer.**

**BPOV  
**I was lying on my stomach, knees bent and ankles crossed, staring at the laptop in front of me. Sighing in frustration, I clicked on the final link on the Canadian real estate page I had opened. The others were all out hunting, so I had taken the opportunity to start looking for a house Jasper and I could use for my change and newborn period.

Unfortunately, there isn't high demand for houses in the middle of nowhere, so pickings were slim. Our needs weren't over the top: two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a working hot water heater would do us. However, even that short list was eclipsing the shacks on the market.

A glint in the sunlight caught my eye, and I looked up to see Jasper standing in the door to our room, the afternoon light reflecting off of his face. I felt my stress melt away at the sight of the man I loved so much. He smiled at me and walked into the room.

"What's got your pretty little knickers in a bunch?" he asked in a husky drawl. Peter and Char were definitely rubbing off on his accent and speech, which caused me to lose my train of thought quite frequently due to lust.

"I'm not wearing any knickers," I answered breathlessly. He was beside me on the bed in a flash, his amber eyes darkening to brown, so dark I couldn't see his pupils.

"Is that so?" he asked, raising his eyebrow and running a hand over my ass. My yoga pants quickly revealed the fact that I was telling him the truth.

"I would never lie to you," I teased arching my back and tipping my head up for a kiss. His cool lips met mine, and I smiled against them.

"Better not," he grunted, giving me a light smack on the ass. "Now, tell me what the problem is so I can fix it and then have my wicked way with you," he ordered, tugging me into a sitting position on his lap. I filled him in on my search for a decent temporary home for my change.

"Relax, Sweets," he said, rubbing my shoulders as we looked at the computer together. "I can put Jenks on it. He's probably missed us these last few weeks," he said, grinning down at me. "Why don't I give him a call so you can stop worrying about it?"

"Sounds good," I said, relieved. He stood up and pulled out his cell phone to make the call, quickly filling Jenks in on the situation and our needs. Jenks jumped on it, promising a list of options by the end of the day, and even making tentative plans for us to fly up to northern Canada in two weeks to check things out in person.

"Wow," I said after Jasper had ended the call. "This is real, huh?" Suddenly, my anxiety was back, full force. I wanted nothing more than to spend eternity with Jasper, but the reality that my human life was close to its end was overwhelming.

Jasper reacted immediately, wrapping me in his arms. "Whoa, Sweetheart," he soothed, "Take it easy. We are in no rush here. If you need more time, we'll take more time." His words calmed me, and the sudden anxiety faded away.

"No, I'm okay now," I assured him, leaning back to look at his face. Regret stabbed me when I saw the worry and hesitation in his eyes.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Bella?" he asked in a whisper. "I can't imagine existing without you, but I will never push you to change for me."

My heart broke at the hint of fear in his expression. I couldn't imagine how I would feel if our positions were reversed, and I was facing the possibility of eternity without him.

Kneeling up to bring myself to his level, I took his face in my hands. "I am absolutely certain that I want this," I told him earnestly, brining his hands to my heart as if it would help me push the feelings into him. "I want to be your partner, your equal. I have no doubt that this is the future I want. I got a little overwhelmed by the details for a minute, that's all. It's a big change, and the unknown is scary sometimes, but I'm _certain_ that my future is you."

His face relaxed slightly, and I closed my eyes to mentally remove whatever it was that shielded my emotions from him. "Feel this," I whispered, concentrating on the love I felt for him and how sure I was that I wanted forever with him. I could feel the muscles of his face moving under my fingertips, so I opened my eyes to see his blissed-out smile.

His smiles were precious to me, so I took a few seconds to enjoy the sight before I leaned forward to kiss him. He met me half way with an open mouth, but before he could deepen the kiss, I broke away. He pouted down at me, so I gave him a wink as I leaned back over him to press a wet kiss against the hollow of his neck.

He groaned when I ran my tongue along the scar there, so I continued along his neck until I reached the top of his shirt. Wordlessly, he raised his arms to allow me to tug it off. Obstacle removed, I brought my mouth back down to his chest, giggling when he pulled us both backward so he could recline in bed.

I moved my hands along the hard planes of his chest and abs as I licked and kissed from scar to scar. "I love your scars so much," I said huskily between kisses. "Every single one of them is a reminder of what you've overcome to become the man I love." His hips thrust upward when I brushed the top of his jeans with my fingers, and I smiled, quickly unbuttoning his fly.

"Great minds think alike," I murmured, noticing his lack of underwear. His only response was to hiss my name when I wrapped my hand around his length, pumping him as I sucked on one of his nipples. I continued kissing down his abdomen, alternating between caressing his dick and rolling his balls together as I licked along the V of his groin.

Deciding to be merciful, I stopped teasing and trailed my tongue along his dick, licking the entire length before taking the head into my mouth and sucking. He moaned again and wrapped his fingers gently in my hair. I hummed in approval, smiling around his dick. He was usually hesitant to take charge when I gave him blow jobs, always worrying that he would push too hard. I loved it when he guided me, enjoying the fact that I was helping him pleasure himself, and I was eager for the day when I would be durable enough for him to fuck my mouth.

All too soon, he was tugging me off and up his body. "Want to be inside you," he growled, pulling my tank top and pants off quickly before kicking his jeans off. His fingers dipped inside my folds, making sure I was ready for him, even though he had to realize I was dripping with arousal already.

He quickly pulled me forward so I was straddling him before sliding me slowly down his hard length. I closed my eyes to better enjoy the sensation of being filled by him, smiling at the sound of his throaty moan. Slowly, I moved myself up and down a few times, gasping when he reached up to carefully pinch my nipple between his cool fingers.

"Lean back," he ordered gruffly, gently pushing me backward so that I was leaning on my locked arms. He repositioned my legs so that I was spread open to him, allowing him to tease my clit with his fingers while he thrust in and out of me. Tossing my head back, I moaned at the exquisite sensation, feeling my insides begin to tighten as I drew closer to coming.

"Look how beautiful you are while I fuck you," he said softly. Opening my eyes, I looked down to watch him play with my clit. He picked up the pace of his thrusts, and I moaned again at the sight of his dick moving in and out of my entrance. The tension grew tighter within me, and I bit down on my lip as I tried to move my clit closer to his fingertip.

"Not yet," he teased with a smile, moving his finger away. I keened in protest, but he quickly brought both of his hands to my hips, pushing me further down onto his erection, hitting me just where I needed it. "Right now," he finally commanded, moving one hand to pinch my clit hard.

I screamed his name as my orgasm hit me, rippling from deep inside my body along every nerve ending. He chanted my name back at me and thrust wildly, eventually stiffening as he released inside of me. With the last of my energy, I shifted my legs around and allowed myself to fall on top of him, chest to chest.

"I can feel your heart beat inside me," he said softly, his deep voice rumbling against my ear.

"Will you miss it when it doesn't beat anymore?" I asked idly, as the thought popped in my head.

He gently tipped my head up to meet his earnest gaze. "I'll guess I will miss the sound some, Bella, but it will be so worth it to know you're mine forever. I love you. I love you now while you're soft, and warm, and fragile. I'll love you just as much when you're not so soft and not so breakable. Besides, vampires have perfect memories, so I'll never forget how it felt and what it sounded like while you were human."

"Will I remember?" I asked hesitantly, unsure I wanted the answer. Nothing would change my mind about becoming a vampire, but I hated the thought of forgetting my human life.

"Everyone's different," he answered gently. "Carlisle remembers much of his human experiences, while my human memories are just flashes here and there." Tears pricked my eyes, and I turned my head, not wanting him to think I was having second thoughts. "Don't worry, Bella," he ordered, pulling my face back toward his. "You have me. I'll help you remember."

"Thank you," I whispered, resting my head back on his chest. We spent a few minutes cuddling before he carried me off to the shower. Peter and Char returned home not long after we finished cleaning ourselves up, and we all spent a fun evening playing Wii.

Feeling drowsy, I excused myself to bed early in the evening. Jasper offered to come to bed with me, but I just gave him a kiss and told him to stay downstairs and have fun kicking Peter's ass at whatever shooting game they were playing. He agreed, and I drifted off to sleep remembering how happy he looked while he relaxed with his family.

I woke up alone in the early morning light, immediately wracked with chills and unable to swallow around the rawness in my throat. Every muscle ached, and I moaned as I tried to wrap the blankets tighter around my body. I hadn't had a cold since I'd moved to New York in the fall, but apparently this one would make up for all the misery I'd missed out on during my winter of good health.

I heard the door to our room open. "Bella?" Jasper called softly. I knew I should answer, but I just couldn't draw the necessary energy to do so. "Are you okay? I heard you groaning." In the next moment, he was next to me on the bed, his hand shockingly cold when he pressed it against my face.

"Shit, Sweetheart, you're burning up," he muttered, brushing my hair out of my face. "I should have checked on you earlier. I just didn't want to wake you up…"

"It's okay," I whispered. "It's just a cold." I intended to continue reassuring him, but a fresh wave of chills hit me and I was unable to continue speaking. Huddling in the covers, I vaguely registered the sound of Peter knocking on the open door.

"What's up?" he asked Jasper, his voice uncharacteristically somber.

"She's sick," Jasper answered tersely. "She says it's a cold, but she's burning up. Grab me a couple Advil from the bathroom, would ya?"

Peter was back in a flash and Jasper gently helped me into a sitting position, steadying the water glass when my hands shook.

"You don't look so good, Little Bird," Peter said, his red eyes full of concern.

"Thanks, Peter," I mumbled. "It's just a cold." I allowed myself to slide back down into the covers, hoping they would take a hint and give me some peace and quiet. That hope was dashed when Charlotte blew into the room like a small tornado.

She began firing a barrage of questions at me, which I patently ignored. Jasper answered to the best of his knowledge, and the three vampires fell into some sort of conversation about the severity of my symptoms and the chances that my illness was serious in nature. They were grating on my last nerve, but I finally put two and two together when I heard them whispering words like "influenza", "hospital", and "sudden death" back and forth to each other.

"Guys, it's the twenty-first century. Human medicine has come a long way, and there is no need to panic over a cold," I rasped out. "If I'm not better in a few days, I'll go to a doctor and get some antibiotics. This isn't the Spanish flu; no one is dying here today."

"Now Bella," Char said gently, "Some people have died from that pig flu this year, so I think we need to be careful, Sugar."

"She hasn't been around any pigs," Peter exclaimed indignantly. That comment struck my funny bone even in the midst of my misery, and I laughed out loud. I paid for my mistake with a coughing fit that left me gasping for breath. When I recovered, I filled Peter in on the interspecies transmission of H1N1.

"I don't need a hospital," I emphasized to the little crowd of worried vampires hovering over me. "I need fluids and rest. If you need something to do, you can go buy me some NyQuil or something." Rolling away, I wrapped myself up in the comforter again, hoping to make my desire for peace and quiet evident.

Char muttered something about chicken soup and Peter volunteered to go to the pharmacy. I felt Jasper's weight shift on the bed as he lay down next to me. He tucked the blankets securely around me before wrapping an arm around my body. I drifted back to sleep to the relaxing sensation of his fingers gently running through my hair.

He woke me several times to sip warm tea and take a few bites of the soup that Charlotte had made for me. Peter returned with a package of every cold medicine available for purchase and I smiled weakly while the three of them argued about which miracle medicine would be best. I finally demanded good, old fashioned NyQuil just to shut them up before I drifted back into a feverish sleep.

My dreams were vivid and disturbing, and Jasper woke me several times to soothe me, his eyes full of worry each time. At first, I tried to minimize my misery, but by the time the sun rose I was moaning weakly in discomfort. Everything hurt, and it was becoming difficult to inhale without coughing.

"I'm takin' you to the doctor, Sweetheart," Jasper told me quietly, moving the blankets away and assisting me into a sitting position. I nodded my agreement, leaning against him while he and Charlotte helped me put on a pair of yoga pants and some shoes. They slid my heavy coat over my arms, and Jasper picked me up to carry me out to the car.

Sitting in the backseat with Jasper, I clung tight to his shirt during the short ride into town. Peter and Charlotte were silent in the front; even in my fevered mindset I realized how worried they were. I knew I was far from critically ill, but I just felt too awful to try to reassure them.

Peter pulled the SUV into the parking lot for the urgent care office and climbed out to open my door. Jasper began to lift me out, but I stopped him. "I can walk, Jasper. If you carry me in there, they'll probably call an ambulance or something."

Peter mumbled something about an ambulance being a good idea, but thankfully Jasper didn't argue with me. He carefully handed me out the door to Peter, who held me tightly until Jasper was out of the car and back at my side. Leaning heavily on Jasper, I made my way to the door and into the clinic. The waiting room was mercifully empty and before long I was sitting on the exam table facing the kind, middle aged physician.

He gave me a thorough exam before agreeing that I probably had swine flu and prescribing Tamiflu. He was patient, although confused by, Jasper's state of near panic and did his best to ease his fears. He explained that I should be feeling much better by the end of the day tomorrow after the antiviral medication and that within the week I would be completely recovered.

"He never gets sick," I explained to the doctor, "So he thinks it's the end of the world when I do." The doctor smiled and made some comment about love sick boyfriends before sending us on our way. I slept the entire way home, completely unaware when Jasper carried me back to bed and tucked me in.

I spent another restless night, waking up only to sip liquids and pee before Jasper soothed me back to sleep. When I woke the next day, I felt slightly better and asked for some toast with my tea. The three of them looked so relieved that I was better, I felt bad about how much they had worried for me.

"You don't understand, Bella," Jasper said softly, running his hand through my hair as I lounged beside him on the bed, Peter and Charlotte sitting comfortably at the foot. "Flu was a killer when I was human. I don't remember much about my 'life', but I remember being afraid of influenza."

"Even before I was changed in the forties, it was a big deal," Peter chimed in.

"I know, I know," I answered impatiently. "However, I'm sure being a part of Maria's bad ass army didn't include keeping up to date on human medical progress, which has been vast since then. Not saying another flu epidemic is impossible," I clarified, "But I'm clearly out of danger for the time being."

Jasper snorted and Peter made a smart comment about me being constantly in danger. I rolled my eyes and demanded more of Charlotte's soup, which was surprisingly good. She beamed when I complimented her, admitting that it was her mother's recipe and the only thing she truly remembered cooking as a human.

After finishing my soup, I was more than ready for a nap, so Jasper shooed the two of them out and let me get some rest. When I awoke, I was achy and miserable again, so Jasper got me more Advil and helped me into the shower. It felt great while I was under the water, but I was wracked with chills when I stepped into the cold air.

He wrapped me up in blankets and got me more hot tea before rubbing my back through the heavy blankets. "I won't miss this after I'm changed, that's for sure," I groaned.

He laughed lightly in agreement and I smiled as I drifted off to sleep. I slept the night through and woke up feeling much better the next morning. Jasper's relief at my improvement was written all over his face, but his eyes were black and rimmed with deep shadows.

"You need to go hunt," I ordered softly, running my fingertips over the purplish skin under his eyes. He didn't put up much of an argument, taking off with Peter for company while I headed downstairs to eat breakfast. Charlotte joined me at the table with a stack of recipe books while I ate my toast, eager to plan our next culinary project together. We spent a very pleasant hour together before I noticed that she was looking intently out the window.

"What is it?" I asked casually, trying to brush off the ominous feeling creeping over me.

"Someone's outside," she answered shortly as she stood and walked to the large back window. "Vampire," she continued, confirming my worst fears, "and one who's tryin' to be sneaky from the sound of it."

I sat frozen at the table, watching her dart from window to window, her face serious as she looked for more signs of the interloper. Grabbing her cell phone from the living room, she joined me in the kitchen again. "I don't like it, and I'm gonna call Peter back here," she said firmly, her expression grim. I nodded wordlessly in agreement, trying to focus around the panic that threatened to overwhelm me.

She held the phone up to her face, but before she could speak, the front door crashed into the living room. Char whisked me out of the chair and into a corner before crouching down in front of me. The invading vampire ran into towards us, coming to a stop mere feet from Charlotte.

I took a ragged breath as I looked up into the face of the vampire I had given my heart to back in Forks. His appearance had altered since I had seen him last, his wild bronze hair the only unchanged feature I noticed. His onyx eyes stared back at me from his gaunt face, his expression agonized. He reached out a hand toward me, completely ignoring Charlotte's presence.

"Bella, love, come with me," he said softly. My stomach sinking, I realized we were about to become players in a major drama. I sat unmoving on the floor, holding tight to Charlotte's vibrating body. Edward frowned at me and took a half step forward. Charlotte growled and crouched tighter, so I quickly released my grip on her.

"I can't imagine what Jasper was thinking when he brought you here to _them_," he said in a puzzled tone. "But I'm here now, and I'll take you somewhere safe."

Finally breaking free of the shocked paralysis that had overtaken me, I shook my head negatively. "No, Edward, I'm not leaving with you. This is my home, and Charlotte is part of my family," I said, my voice soft but clear.

Disbelief spread over his face. "What do you mean this is your family? Bella, these vampires are dangerous to you. You belong with me, Bella," he insisted, trying to step around Charlotte's protective body.

Char reached one hand behind her to help me from the floor. Edward stared at her, clearly trying to read her thoughts. Her face was taught in concentration as she attempted to block him.

"Music and foreign language work best," I murmured quietly, hoping we could keep Edward in the dark long enough for Peter and Jasper to return home.

Edward tried to step around Charlotte again, and she finally spoke to him. "You need to back the fuck up, Cullen. You're not in control, and she said she doesn't want to go with you, so she's not goin' anywhere."

His face twisted with rage at her words, he snarled at Charlotte, "You will _never_ keep her from me!"

Before I could react to his ridiculous statement, he lunged for Char. She sprung deftly away from him, using her petite stature to evade his blatant attack. She glanced at me and nodded her head toward the other side of the island, so I quickly scooted myself there, hoping to stay out of Charlotte's way without putting myself in Edward's hands.

He recovered quickly and sprang at Charlotte again, but this time rather than stepping away, she used her body as a pivot point for his momentum and tossed him violently into the stainless steel refrigerator. The appliance caved in around the impact of his body, but he was on his feet again in seconds, leaping over my hiding spot and knocking the pot rack off of the ceiling in his charge toward my sister.

I covered my head with my hands as the pots and pans rained down around me and began to scoot backward out of the kitchen area. Edward saw my movement and changed direction abruptly, reaching a hand out toward my retreating legs.

"You're going to hurt her, you fool," Charlotte growled at him, diving forward to grab him just before he reached me. She landed a fierce kick to his midsection, which propelled him back across the room. Shaking his head, he sprang for her yet again, and I wondered if he would ever stop.

Char's year of fighting for Maria had left her very prepared, and she held her own against him. Leaving him to the offense, she simply reacted to every type of attack he used, moving on reflex alone so that he couldn't read her thoughts to anticipate her moves. Their movements became a blur to me, but I gradually recognized that Char was struggling against the disadvantage of trying to keep both of them away from me.

Edward seemed temporarily unaware of my existence, and several times I had to duck quickly to avoid impact when he jumped near me. On the other hand, Charlotte was constantly checking my position and doing her best to direct the battle away from me. Finally, the situation caught up with her, and Edward landed a shattering blow to her face.

I watched in horror as fracture lines appeared across her cheek and she fell to the floor. Still quick to react, she rolled away from Edward, but I could tell the blow had shaken her. I quickly crawled over to her, ignoring her when she told me to run. Taking her hand in mine, I turned to face Edward, who was stalking toward us, his gaze fixed on Charlotte.

"Stop this, Edward," I begged, fear for my friend causing a cold weight in my stomach. Without speaking he whipped his hand out and grabbed my free arm. Before I could react, he tugged me sharply toward him.

"No! Bella let go of me!" Charlotte screamed, but it was too late. I felt the pop before I felt the pain of my shoulder joint separating from the force of Edward's pull. The world went grey for a moment, as the pain ran over me in waves. I faintly noticed that Edward had released my arm and was now lying on the ground near me. I heard Charlotte speaking rapidly to someone and realized that Peter had returned home.

Finally, my overwhelmed brain processed the fact that someone was repeating my name urgently.

"Bella," the voice pleaded again, and I forced my face to turn toward the sound. I smiled slightly at the sight of Jasper's face and reached up with my good arm to touch his cheek.

"I knew you'd come for me," I whispered, the pain from my shoulder making me breathless. A tear escaped from my eye as fear began to bubble up through the shock I was experiencing. "He tried to take me, Jasper," I gasped. "And he hurt Char." The sobs broke through and I collapsed against him.

He wrapped me in his arms, ignoring the growls Edward was now making from the floor. Standing he walked me over to the couch, sitting me down next to Charlotte. Peter was kneeling in front of her, running his fingertips gently over her injured face.

"It's okay, Bella," she said softly. "I'll be good as new once I get a chance to hunt." I nodded my understanding at her, but even my relief that she wasn't seriously injured couldn't stop my tears. Suddenly, Peter and Jasper both shifted their positions, clearly picking up some sound that my human ears missed.

"Well now," a voice with a heavy Scottish accent called out, "it appears that I might've come at a bad time. I'm Malcolm, and I hear tell that you're lookin' for me."

**AN- thanks for the wonderful reviews last chapter! They really motivated me to write quickly!**

**So, anyone from Scotland reading this? If so, I could use some help with Malcom's dialog. I'd like some input on how to write the accent accurately. I wasn't able to find what I needed online. PM me if you'd be interested in helping!**

**Dearest MM- hope you're completely recovered from your sexy shopping trip! Maybe someday we can go together *waggles eyebrows suggestively*! Thanks for everything you do and say to keep me sane!**

**Finally, go read BaltiK and Pheonix1855's collaboration, Obsessed. It's AH, BxJ with a twist that rocked my socks! Leave them love- their story is woefully underappreciated in the reviews department!**

**Love you all,**

**Heavy **


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-five

**Mynxi is an amazing beta and an even better friend.**

**A huge thank you to Team Malcolm! NewTownGirl "translated" Malcolm's dialog into a Scottish accent for me, and Pyejammies and chedoo28 were kind enough to pre-read and further advise me on making him sound natural. Unfortunately, mynxi pointed out that a lot of my fellow Americans would have a tough time with the heavy Scottish accent, so I softened things a little. Any resulting inaccuracies are all my own, and have no reflection on Team Malcolm!**

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer.**

**JPOV**

I ran quickly down the steep mountainside into the clearing ahead, Peter on my heels. I was done hunting, but after being cooped up taking care of Bella for three days, I was really enjoying the time outside. Peter and I spent awhile wrestling, blowing off the frustration we had experienced during Bella's illness by tackling each other.

I stopped suddenly, grinning as Peter had to stop short to avoid colliding with me. "Watch yourself," I teased. Before he could reply, his cell phone rang. He shook his head negatively at my questioning glance, indicating he didn't recognize the number.

His face broke into a smile as he answered, greeting the caller. Blatantly listening to the conversation, I was thrilled to find out that Peter was speaking to an old acquaintance named Graham, who had recently come across the vampire whisperer in person. Peter's friend told the mysterious vampire we were looking for him and passed along Peter's contact information. Peter thanked Graham before hanging up and clapping me on the shoulder.

"Told you I had a good feeling," he said enthusiastically. "Now we just have to wait for Malcolm to call, and convince him to help us."

"I hope it will really be that simple," I said calmly. Inside, I was thrilled with the progress on the Alice situation. I wanted nothing more than to move forward with Bella, but it was difficult to do that with thoughts of Alice's suffering hanging over us. I knew it wasn't my fault or responsibility, but I would rest easier after I knew I had done everything possible to help the woman I spent so many years loving.

"You worry too much," he answered, rolling his eyes and tossing a small rock at me. Automatically, I reached up to catch it, but it disintegrated upon impact. Before I could return the attack, I was struck by a powerful sense of dread.

"I feel it too," Peter hissed at me, both of us turning toward home. Our feet flew as we ran toward the house, the sickening feeling growing heavier with every step. The scent hit me full blast when I reached the edge of our property.

"Edward," I spat out to Peter, before the sound of Bella's pleading distracted me. We crossed the yard in a flash, reaching the back door in time to see Edward try to pull Bella away from Charlotte. Char's warning came too late, and I watched in horror as Bella refused to release her grasp on Char's arm. My fear for her transformed into rage when I saw Edward gave a quick yank, dislocating Bella's shoulder with a sickening 'pop'.

Running toward Bella, I quickly shoved a huge wave of her pain and fear at Edward. He groaned, released Bella's arm, and dropped to the floor, immobilized by the emotions. '_**This is what you are causing her to feel,'**_ I thought to him, before focusing all of my attention on Bella. She staggered in pain, and I reached her just in time to catch her.

"I'm so sorry, Jasper," Charlotte whispered. "I didn't think he would be so careless with her, and I couldn't warn her to let go in time."

"It's not your fault, Char. He knows how easy it is to hurt her. He never should have laid a hand on her while he was so upset," I answered firmly, running my hands over Bella to check for more injuries. Her eyes were glassy and vacant, although she was looking frantically around the room.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Edward moaned from his position on the floor. "I didn't mean to hurt you." Bella stiffened at the sound of his voice, clenching my shirt tightly in her good hand.

The sound of his voice enraged me, but I forced myself to focus on taking care of Bella. '_**Shut up,'**_ I warned him. '_**If you speak again, I'm going to let Peter remove your head for hurting his wife.' **_I shot another wave of fear and lethargy at him, hoping it would be enough to keep him out of our heads while I tended to Bella's injuries.

"Bella, look at me," I pleaded, turning her face gently toward me. She stared through me, her little heart beating as rapid as a humming bird's. I repeated her name several times before she finally snapped out of it and reached up to touch my face. I could feel her fear increasing, and I saw the tears begin to escape her brown eyes as she tried to tell me what happened.

Breaking into sobs, she collapsed into my arms, so I carefully carried her over to the couch. I sat her next to Charlotte, hoping she would feel better once she realized that her friend wasn't seriously injured. Edward growled as I passed him, but I ignored the sound, keeping my focus on Bella's well-being rather than my desire to make him pay for hurting her.

Peter was vibrating in rage because of the injuries his mate and the woman he loved as a sister had sustained, but he was doing a great job keeping it together. Char tried to reassure Bella that she would be fine, but I could still feel Bella's panic growing worse.

I began to push some calm toward her, but I immediately stiffened when I heard the sound of footsteps approaching the front of the house. Peter tensed beside me. "Vampire, not a scent I recognize," he said, his words clipped with tension. "Give me a break," I muttered, as we listened to the footsteps slow down as they neared the remnants of the front door.

I felt the wave of intense curiosity from the newcomer even as he spoke. "Well now, it appears that I might've come at a bad time." His voice was deceptively lighthearted, but I could feel his discomfort and confusion at what he was seeing. "I'm Malcolm, and I hear tell you've been lookin' fer me."

He stepped into the house over the wrecked door, and I took in his appearance, mentally sizing him up in case he was a threat. He was shorter than Peter and I, but he looked as if he had been solid muscle before he was changed into a vampire. Even without the accent, I could visualize him as a human man, leading a bunch of kilted warriors onto the battlefield, his broadsword raised defiantly at whoever opposed him.

His hair was dark and unruly, falling in waves below his ears. It set off the most startling feature about him, his amber eyes. I had no expectation that he would be an animal drinker, and I wondered at the circumstances that had led him to this lifestyle.

"Want me to handle this while you keep an eye on your _brother_ there?" Peter asked calmly. I simply nodded at him, focusing on keeping Edward immobilized and easing Bella's fears. She was staring at Malcolm in amazement, as if she just couldn't process his actual presence.

Peter walked slowly toward the front door, keeping his posture non-confrontational and leaving Malcolm with plenty of space to move around. He clearly shared my assessment of Malcolm as a warrior, and was doing everything possible to diffuse the tense situation.

"Greetings, Malcolm. I'm Peter Whitlock," he said quietly, oozing Southern charm with each word. "This is my wife Charlotte, my brother Jasper, and my sister Bella," he explained, indicating each of us in turn. "You're correct. We have been searching for you, hopin' you can help a friend of ours. We apologize for the chaos you walked in on. As you can see, we have an uninvited guest, and I was wonderin' if you might give us a few minutes to get situated before we get down to business."

I felt Malcolm's flash of humor at Peter's description of our situation. "Far be it frae me to stick ma nose in yer family troubles," he answered with a small smile. "Dinnae fash yerself, I'll jus' sit yonder till ye get this settled."

"It's much appreciated," Peter said politely, walking back towards us. Malcolm followed Peter's movements, his amber eyes finally resting on Bella. He stared at her intently, but I felt no malevolence toward her. Instead, he regarded her with a detached sense of curiosity.

Peter sat down beside us, causing Bella to wince in pain. "We need to get you to a hospital," I said softly, desperately wishing I had returned in time to prevent her injury.

"I can wait," she answered hoarsely. "I don't want to delay your conversation with Malcolm. If he gets tired of waiting, we might miss our only chance to help Alice."

"Peter can handle it," I insisted. "You're in pain; I'm not going to make you wait to get medical attention and feel better." She began to shake her head before the pain stopped her movement short.

"If yer lass be willing, I ken how tae set her shoulder and save ye the trip." Malcolm's clear voice rang across the room. Peter and I shot a glance at each other before I spoke up.

"That's a kind offer," I began, quickly grasping for words that wouldn't offend him. Eventually, I decided to go with a direct and honest approach. "Do you have any experience relocating a human's shoulder?"

Thankfully, he met my question with a broad smile. "Och aye. Was a common ill in battle back when I were human, an' I set many a shoulder right afore my change. Wain't be hard tae pop such a wee airm back in tae place."

He was perfectly confident in his ability, but I was concerned that he wouldn't be able to moderate his strength to allow for Bella's fragile human body. Peter chirped in before I could properly phrase my worry.

"You realize she's breakable, right?" he asked bluntly. "It was a tiny little tug from this asshole here that got her in this situation. Wouldn't want her to get hurt any worse," he stated unapologetically.

"I willnae hurt yer lass," Malcolm assured me quietly before meeting Bella's gaze. "And I willnae be offended if ye say no, but yer pain will be much less when it's back warr it belongs."

Bella looked back at him for a long minute before nodding her head affirmatively. "Let's do it," she said firmly.

Malcolm crossed the room to join us, but before he reached us, Edward pulled himself out of the emotional stupor I had put him in to protest. "You can't seriously be considering allowing this stranger to touch her!" he shouted, trying in vain to sit up. "He could tear her arm off! And," he continued, outrage pouring off him in waves, "Why does Alice need help?"

I struggled valiantly to keep my temper in check. There was simply too much going on at the moment for me to give in to my desire to punish him for hurting Bella. Closing my eyes, I quickly counted to a million in hopes of distracting myself from my anger. Peter's hand on my shoulder caused me to open them in a flash.

"If ya don't mind, I'd like to handle this too, Jasper," Peter said conversationally. His tone was at odds with his predominant emotion, which was barely contained rage. Nodding my head at him, I simply ordered, "We're short on time. Don't make a mess."

"No worries. I'm just gonna give him a little warning, that's all. Ya mind lettin' your little mind-meld go for a minute? I want him to feel this."

Shrugging my shoulders, I ceased the emotional onslaught that was holding Edward immobilized. In a flash, Peter was on him, his fist flying into Edward's face faster than even I could see. The impact shattered all of Edward's cheek and dislocated his jaw.

"I thought with the mind reading, ya would have figured out who you're fuckin' with here," Peter said cordially to Edward, leaning over him as he attempted to retreat. "But clearly, you need a little reminder." Peter's arm whipped out, grabbing Edward's left hand and yanking viciously. Edward screamed as his shoulder joint gave way, leaving him with a mirror image of Bella and Charlotte's injuries.

Edward was writhing in agony, his emotions a mixture of shock and agony. Peter stood over him, placing a booted foot on his chest. "Now you're free to walk out that door you saw fit to tear down, and honestly, no one here will miss ya. But if you stay," Peter warned, his tone low and deadly, "Ya better keep your mouth shut and stay the fuck away from the ladies. If you so much as look like you're gonna speak to them or approach them in any way, I'll end you here and now. Now shake your head like a good boy if you understand me," he commanded, his red eyes nearly glowing with his desire to avenge his mate's injury.

Edward nodded frantically, scooting backward to lean against the wall farthest away from Peter. '_**You're getting off easy, Fucker,'**_ I thought at him, before I hit him with another dose of lethargy to keep him out of our heads for the time being.

Turning to Bella, I looked in her eyes. "Is this what you want to do?"

"Yes," she answered firmly. "Let's get it over with so we can talk to him about helping us." I nodded briefly at Malcolm, reassured by the quiet confidence he was feeling, despite the violence that had just occurred.

"Will be easier on ye if ye lie doon, lass," he told Bella quietly. I quickly picked her up, laying her down on the couch so that her injured side was facing outward. Char stood up to make room for me next to Bella, and I sent her a shot of gratitude. I sat beside Bella's head, holding her good hand in mine and looking down into her eyes.

"It's nae like on the telly, where they jus' snap it back in real quick like," Malcolm said gently to her. "I'll hav' tae move it back in tae the joint slowly, and it'll bloody hurt while I do it. But wanse it's back in, ye'll feel much better."

"I know," Bella answered calmly. "It's happened before." I shot her a sharp glance, and she gave me an apologetic look. "I had a couple of accidents when I lived in Vegas," she explained evasively.

"Well than, yer the big man," Malcolm said cheerfully. "Hold tight to yer laddie's hand now."

Bella's warm little hand clung to mine, and she closed her eyes as Malcolm reached out for her injured arm. I watched the pain etch itself into her face, as he slowly and smoothly moved her arm across her body and back out. She began to whimper and tears oozed out of her tightly closed eyes before I finally heard the tiny 'pop' of her shoulder returning to its proper position in the socket.

"All done, Lass," Malcolm said soothingly. "Ye did well, I've had big, brawny lads weep like bairns when I set their sword arm."

Bella nodded stiffly, brushing tears away with her good hand, as I gently helped her into a sitting position. He glanced at me, and I felt his sharpened curiosity about Bella. "That's wan interesting wee human there. She's a mighty powerful shield an' she'll make a bonnie vampire."

Edward snarled from his position on the floor, and Peter shot him a warning glance.

"Peter, would you go in our bathroom and grab the bottle of prescription painkillers in the cabinet?" I asked, wanting to talk to Malcolm quickly and get Bella into bed so she could rest.

"Sure thing," he answered quickly.

"Grab that Ace bandage in there, too," Char ordered. "She should have a sling, but that'll have to wait until the pharmacy opens."

He nodded and returned quickly. We dosed Bella with leftover pain medication from her K2 attack, and I gently wrapped the elastic bandage around her arm. Once she was as comfortable as we could make her, I turned back to Malcolm, who was waiting patiently for us to finish.

"Thank you for your help and for your patience," I began. "We've been looking for you because Peter here saw you in action once, and he thought you might be able to help someone we know." I briefly filled him in on Alice's condition and my understanding of how she came to be that way, as well as what had been tried to help her. "She was completely beyond the reach of my ability," I explained. "Peter described how you handled a wild newborn he ran into once, and we thought you might have some insight on her situation."

I felt Malcolm's sharpened curiosity at my explanation as well as Edward's shock and despair at the news of his favorite sister's condition. '_**What?' **_I sneered at him in my head. '_**Don't tell me Carlisle and Esme never told you she was in bad shape. They've been struggling with her for months now. They could have used your help.'**_

"I never knew," he whispered pathetically. "I stopped listening to the messages they left. I would just text them periodically from a pay-as-you-go cell phone to let them know I still existed."

Noticing that Malcolm was watching Edward and me intently, I returned my attention to him. "Will you try to help her?" I asked, desperately hoping he would agree.

He met my gaze and I waited for his answer. "I cannae promise that I'll be able tae dae her any good," he began. "I havenae come across anything like what ye've described before, and I dinnae know that my abilities will be any more effective than yers were. But it's nae problem to meet the lass and try. Is she still in New York then?"

"Yes," I answered, feeling profound relief. "We'd be glad to charter a jet for you."

He smiled but shook his head negatively. "I'll be glad ter ride in yer jet," he answered cheerfully, "But I'll need ye to join me. I'm nae willing ter go through all this vex fer a stranger if it's nae worth it tae you to help in whatever ever way ye can."

Feeling Bella tense beside me, I quickly answered, "I'm not going anywhere without Bella, and I don't think it's safe for her to be around Alice."

He regarded me placidly, his silence making it clear that he wasn't budging on this issue.

"Jasper, I'll come with you," Bella said drowsily. "I'll stay in a hotel while you guys fix Alice. I'll be fine."

"I don't like it, Sweetheart," I answered honestly. "The thought of leaving you alone doesn't feel right."

"Well then, I guess Char and I will just come along to keep Bella company, while you guys straighten out the pixie," Peter said amiably.

"See, no problem," Bella said happily. The pain medication was clearly making her warm and fuzzy. I was happy that she was relaxed and comfortable after the trauma she had experienced today.

Peter's offer provided me with some relief, but I still had an uncomfortable feeling about bringing Bella along. "I still don't like it, but if you're going to insist on me coming with you…" I paused, looking at Malcolm, who just nodded in reply, "Then I have no choice but to live with it."

"Aye, alright, when can we leave?" he asked.

Looking down at the drowsy woman in my lap, I sighed. "I'm not willing to go any sooner than tomorrow morning. She needs rest after all she's been through."

"Fair enough," the mysterious vampire answered. "I'll see ye in the morn then."

Peter filled him in on the location of our usual charter company and we bid him good night.

"What about me?" Edward asked waspishly, struggling against the lethargy I was still sending him.

"What about you?" I replied shortly. "I'm quite certain Carlisle's black card will get you on the next flight to Syracuse. I suggest you use it."

"I don't know, J," Peter said hesitantly. "I feel like we need to keep a close eye on him. Might be better if he travels with us instead."

Feeling my temper beginning to shred at yet another obstacle, I barked out my answer. "Fine, you can fly with us. But," I warned, my voice breaking into a growl, "If you make trouble, I will throw you out of the plane, consequences be damned."

I felt the frustration and anger pouring off of him in waves before he answered. "I have no intention of causing _trouble_, Jasper. I came here because I thought the girl I love was in danger."

"How did you find us out here anyway?" Peter interjected, his relaxed drawl masking his intense desire to know how we had left ourselves vulnerable.

"I couldn't take being away from her anymore," Edward answered, his voice full of the despair he was feeling. "I couldn't force myself to stay away, so I went back to Forks. I told myself I was just going to check on her, that if she was okay, I would leave without her even knowing I was there."

I allowed myself to feel pity for the pain he was experiencing. This was all a direct consequence of his choices, but I knew first-hand how it felt to lose the love of your life.

"When I got there, her house was full of strangers," he continued, his voice hollow and detached. "So I went to the library to check the newspapers. I read about Charlie's death and Bella's disappearance, but I couldn't really believe it. I went to the cemetery to check for myself, but as soon as I got there, Bella's scent hit me like a ton of bricks. I could smell other vampires, but I couldn't pin down if they were familiar or not because of the awful scent of those Quileute dogs."

Bella tensed beside me at the mention of the shape-shifters. I gently took her hand in mine, allowing our peace to flow over us. Edward's eyes narrowed at us, and I could almost feel him trying to get inside my head to find out what was going on between Bella and me.

"So how'd you make the connection between Forks and here?" Peter prompted, causing Edward to reluctantly pull his attention away from us.

"I went to our house to regroup, and you can imagine my surprise when I smelled all of your scents there," Edward answered drily. "I figured out that she was with the three of you, but I could smell her blood everywhere. Frantic with worry, I followed her faint scent to your hotel. From there, it was just a matter of reading the thoughts of the humans that waited on you to connect the dots and trace you to the charter company. I charmed the secretary there into giving me your address, and here I am."

His eyes returned to mine, and I could feel the combination of anger and despair that he was experiencing. "So, Jasper," he said in a taunting tone, "You have the story of how I got here. I feel like you owe me some sort of any explanation now. I'm pretty certain that I clearly ordered everyone to leave Bella alone before we left Forks. Yet here we all sit, and I just can't imagine how this happened if you left her alone."

His voice was a snarl by the time he finished speaking, and he was leaning forward, tension pouring off of him in waves. Rolling my eyes, I pushed more lethargy at him until he finally relaxed against the wall again.

Turning to Bella, I raised my eyebrow in unspoken question. Personally, I agreed that we owed Edward an explanation, but in the end, Bella was driving this bus. There was no way I was going to go against her wishes in dealing with Edward.

"Go ahead," she whispered. "Let him _see_ what his choice was." Her emotions were muted, probably due to a combination of shock, pain medication, and her natural shield. However, I could feel traces of anger, pain, and pity from her every once in awhile. She pulled our joined hands up to her lips and turned my hand palm up before placing a kiss on it.

At the touch of her mouth, I felt her push the love that she was feeling toward me. Grateful for the reassurance that seeing Edward face to face hadn't changed her feelings, I repeated the motion on her hand, pushing my own adoration to her.

Edward continued to radiate outrage, so I decided to just get it over with. I pulled back enough of the lethargy I was dosing him with to allow him into my mind. Taking an unnecessary breath, I forced myself to stop all the distracting thoughts I used to maintain my privacy around Edward. Raising my eyes to meet his, I did as Bella instructed and let him see.

I remembered in detail my first sighting of Bella, and the reason I made myself known to her. Sparing him no detail of her pain, I relived the story of her struggle since we abandoned her. Edward gasped in shock and dismay, practically writhing on the floor in misery.

I smiled unabashedly as I began to remember the gradual development of our friendship and the progression into something more that led us to this moment. Avoiding visualizing any details, I made it clear to him that Bella and I were enjoying a sexual relationship, shooting him a smirk when he snarled at me. Finally, I thought about the plans she and I were making for her change and the eternal life we would lead together after it took place.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he said, his voice a rough imitation of his usual velvet tone. I began to feel a glimmer of hope that he was going to handle all of this information better than any of us had anticipated. For Bella's sake, I hoped that he would be able to make a smooth transition from her ex love to friendly acquaintance. An apology was certainly a good place to start.

Bella stared at him in silence, and he spoke again. "I'm so sorry," he repeated. "None of this was supposed to happen. You were supposed to be safe, live your natural life. Fall in love, get married, raise a family," he went on.

My initial optimism sank with every word. Peter began to chuckle quietly, muttering "Wrong answer, fucker," under his breath. Still Edward kept talking, his outraged disbelief growing exponentially every second.

"I never could have imagined that instead you would end up working with strippers," he continued. "Wearing cheap clothes, having sex, _with him!"_ he shouted, pointing at me. "You have no idea what he is, what he's capable of, Bella!"

"Careful there, Son," Peter said causally, standing up and stalking across the room toward Edward. "You don't wanna lose control of your temper around her. It won't end pretty for you, if ya' do."

Feeling Edward's desperate rage increasing, I quickly pushed enough lethargy at him to immobilize him and keep him out of our heads.

"How dare you?" The room was silent for a moment before Bella's voice rang out loud and clear. "How dare you come here and judge me?"

"Now you're in for it, Eddie boy," Peter's dry voice interjected. Silently agreeing with him, I kept my mouth shut and got ready for Bella to speak her piece.

**AN- **

**I hope I found the right balance with the Scottish! For those who aren't familiar with Scottish slang, here's a few translations! **

** Dinna fash yerself= Don't worry**

**ken= know**

**Thanks again to Team Malcolm- you lasses were great! **** Thank you for helping me bring Malcolm to life on paper the way he was in my head! **

**My Dearest MM, thank you for helping me figure out what I really meant to say. I would be a mess without you!**

**My rec of the day is Not All Who Wander Are Lost by stitchcat. Her Bella writes an awesome blog! (I love blogs!) Anyway, the story would be worth reading just to follow the blog, but there's also a chivalrous Jasper with a mysterious past! Yum, right?**

**Thanks for reading- love you all!**

**-heavy**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer. **

**Mynxi, I love you for looking over this no less than three times! We need more anger! Thanks for helping me so much with the first part! Anyway, I solemnly swear not to go all Team Edward on you, unlike certain others who will remain nameless ;) Just kidding, I love you girls too, Anadabyel and VV! I won't read Edward for just anyone, but you two have sucked me in!**

**Thank you again to team Malcolm for assisting with the Scottish! You girls rock! NewTownGirl "translated" and Pyejammies and chedoo28 were good enough to pre-read again. Again, I softened some things to allow ease of reading for my fellow Yanks, so any inaccuracies are my own.**

**BPOV  
**I sat silently, feeling an eerie emptiness as I listened to Edward's words. I watched his lips move while he told me about the life I should have lived after he left me. He then proceeded to criticize my wardrobe, the way I had earned my livelihood, and the fact that I was having sex with Jasper. I vaguely heard Peter making some sort of warning comment before white hot rage rushed through me.

Jumping to my feet, I ignored the screaming pain from my shoulder as I leaned toward the eternal boy across the room from me. "How dare you?" I called across the room. "How dare you come here and judge me?"

Disbelief that Edward had really just said those words warred with my anger. "You left me!" I shouted at him. "You destroyed me and abandoned me, taking my best friend and the family I loved as my own! You left me alone, with no way to reach you if I needed help. You vanished, but the danger didn't, Edward!" My voice grew louder as the memory of Charlie's savaged body flashed through my mind.

"You left me with no protection, and no way to protect the people I loved. Charlie, Renee, Phil- I lost fucking everything because of you, Edward Cullen!" I remembered the panic I felt fleeing Forks, followed by the desperate hope that Edward would sweep back in and make it all better. Then, the numbness as I eventually realized that I was truly on my own in the world.

"It was all I could do to keep it together enough to survive. I had no one to turn to, no one to help me, except for the strippers you think so poorly of. When Jasper found me, I was just a shell going through the motions of existence. My only motivation to keep living was to piss Victoria off. I was dead inside."

Memories of my loneliness before Jasper returned to my life flitted through my brain, honing my rage to a laser fine point, directed at the immature vampire across the room. "And now you have the balls to walk in to _my home_ and have the nerve to judge me; just because my life didn't turn out the way you think it should have? You have some nerve, you self-righteous piece of shit!"

Edward stared back at me, his shock at my language evident on his face. "That's right, dumb-fuck, I called you a piece of shit. You can add liberal use of profanity to that little list of my short-comings that you've compiled!"

He opened his mouth, but thankfully no sound came out. I felt my face growing hot with an angry blush, as I began to yell before he could say anything. "Believe me, for the sake of my parents, I wish that things had worked out the way _you _planned, but they didn't. I don't regret for a minute where I stand today, but the road to get here has been long and really fucking hard. And you have no right to judge or criticize me and the things that I've had to do and the way I lead my life!" I snapped at him.

He finally regained his capacity for speech, holding his good hand out to me. "I'm sorry, Bella," he gasped. "I spoke too quickly, and I obviously used words that offended you."

I rolled my eyes at the weak pseudo-apology. He kept on talking, acting as if he didn't see the disbelief on my face. "I'm just having a difficult time understanding and accepting the decisions you've made."

Closing my eyes briefly, I struggled to control my anger at his self-centered words. I heard movement from behind me, but before I could even turn around, I felt Jasper's hands resting gently on my hips. The peace of our contact flowed over me, allowing me to rein in my anger and find the words I needed to express myself to Edward.

I hadn't been looking for face to face closure with him, and I honestly would have been content to spend the rest of my eternal life without seeing his face again. But, here he was in front of me, offering his unsolicited opinion on my life. I wasn't about to miss this opportunity to give him a piece of my mind.

Taking comfort and strength from Jasper's physical presence, I opened my eyes, unsurprised to find Edward staring at Jasper's hands on me. "I'm sorry too, Edward," I hissed, feeling satisfaction when he jumped at the sound of the anger in my voice.

"I'm so sorry you don't approve of the choices I made after you disappeared from my life. I _chose_ to fight for my life. I _chose_ to do what I had to do to make my away in the world, alone and being stalked by a psychotic vampire bitch."

Edward stared blankly at me, and I felt my frustration growing as I realized I wasn't getting through to him at all. "I _chose_ to survive," I continued, my voice breaking slightly from emotion. "I _chose_ to give it up to an asshole, so I wouldn't freeze to death. Those were all choices, and I'm sorry you feel I could have made better ones."

Raising my eyebrow, I smirked at him. "I'm sure you would have chosen better, but _you weren't there, Edward!_ Where the fuck were you, Edward, when the psychotic vampire bitch came after me and killed my family? Where were you when I had no food and no home? And where were you when I was being attacked by the filth on the streets of New York City? Because I had to survive and _you_ weren't fucking there to help me! So, if my choices upset you, Edward Cullen, just remember it was _your choice_ to leave me that forced me to make those decisions!"

Jasper squeezed me gently in comfort, and I allowed myself to relax against him. My emotions shifted suddenly, and I realized there were more choices I wanted Edward to understand. Laying my good hand overtop Jasper's, I zeroed in on Edward again.

"I _chose _to trust again," I began, my voice clear and strong. "I _chose _to allow someone to share my life again. I _chose_ to love again, even though I thought my chance at love ended when you walked away from me in Forks. These are my choices, and I could give a fuck about your _opinion_ on my decisions."

"You choose these things with him, Bella?" Edward asked quietly, shooting a glare over my shoulder at Jasper. "With the vampire that would have killed you if we'd let him? With the reason your arm is so disfigured? I've seen his mind, Bella. You have no comprehension of what Jasper is capable of. He doesn't deserve you."

My rage was back before the words finished leaving his sanctimonious mouth. "How dare you criticize him?" I shouted, leaning forward slightly against Jasper's gently restraining hands. "First of all, my arm is scarred because _you _threw me into a fucking glass table, asshole. Jasper never touched me that night. Second, I know _exactly_ what Jasper is capable of, Edward Cullen. I know that he is capable of completely altering the method of his existence, even as an 'unchanging' vampire. I know that he is capable of persevering despite multiple setbacks and the constant expectation of failure from those around him."

Turning away from Edward, I looked up into the eyes that reflected my own soul back at me. "I know he is capable of great kindness and compassion," I continued in a softer voice. "He is capable of controlling an unbearable thirst to keep me safe. He is capable of pulling himself out of the violence he used to live in, for me. He is capable of teaching me to trust and love again. He is capable of balancing his need to protect me with my need for independence. He is capable of completing me," I finished in a whisper.

Jasper stared back down at me, my favorite soft smile crossing his lips. In this moment, we were alone in the universe together. Edward's drama was forgotten, as were Peter and Charlotte. "That was amazing, Bella. I'm in awe that you feel that way about me. Someday, I want to do the same thing for you, Sweetheart," Jasper said quietly, cupping my cheek with his hand before pressing a soft kiss against my mouth.

"Bella," Edward choked out. Sighing, I turned from Jasper, making sure to keep his arm wrapped around me. "Don't do this," Edward begged. "I understand that you're angry, and I deserve that. But you love me," he said in a louder voice. "I know I made a mistake, but you love me! Don't deny what we have, Bella."

Pity for the boy I once loved finally overwhelmed the anger I was feeling. "I _loved _you Edward," I said gently. "I loved you, and I won't ever deny what we had then. I don't know how healthy it was," I amended, "but I won't deny that it was powerful. But it's over, and it's time to let go."

Edward shook his head back and forth in disbelief. "No, Bella. I don't believe it. You're just angry with me for leaving you. We can move on from this…"

Unwilling to allow him to continue voicing his delusions, I interrupted him firmly. "I'm not angry with you for leaving me anymore, Edward. I'm really mad at you for storming into my home and hurting me and my friend, and I'm angry about the way you think you have the right to judge me, but I've let the rest of it go. I'm sorry to cause you pain, but we are over. We will never be together again."

"I can't live without you, Bella." Edward's agony was plain on his face, and I could only imagine how difficult it must be for Jasper to be feeling all of this too. _Time to finish this so we can go cuddle in bed, _I thought to myself.

"You're going to have to, Edward. I hope we can all focus on working together to help Alice," I sighed. "From there, maybe we can start to take baby steps toward building some sort of friendly relationship, but I'm not making any promises. You haven't given me a lot of reasons to trust you. I'm going to bed now. Tomorrow's going to be a long day, and all this drama has worn me out."

I began to turn around, but Jasper's hands held me still. "One more thing, before I take Bella up to bed," Jasper said to Edward in a hard tone. "I'm willing to tolerate your presence because I think it might do Alice good to see you. But," he continued, his voice lowering until it was almost a growl, "You need to understand that if you cause trouble in any way, my tolerance will end."

Jasper stared at Edward silently for a long minute, obviously giving Edward a more specific warning in his mind.

"Understood," Edward said woodenly. "I'm going to go hunt now. I'll meet you at the airport in the morning." His face was a blank mask, marred by the fracture lines Peter's fist had caused.

"Good idea, that," Peter said cheerfully. "Don't think we don't notice how hard you're workin' to control yourself around her. You've had your get-out-of-jail-free card when it comes to causin' her damage. If you so much as breathe too deep around her, I'm gonna consider it a threat, and you don't want that."

Edward's only response was a short nod. He stood up from the floor, his movements awkward because of his injuries. He moved gingerly across the room and out the door without another word to any of us. Suddenly, the fatigue and pain that my anger had suppressed washed over me, and I sagged against Jasper.

I vaguely listened as Peter told Jasper that he and Charlotte were going to run to town to hunt in order to heal Char's injured face. "I hate to do it so close to home," Peter sighed, "but we don't have time to drive anywhere bigger, and she can't travel like this."

"Do what you need to do," Jasper answered quietly. "I know it kills you to see her hurt. Do me a favor and make a quick patrol around the property when you two get back. I don't care if Edward hunts nearby, but I'd prefer to keep him out of earshot of the house tonight."

Peter agreed, and he and Char were out the door before I could even say "Goodbye." The next thing I knew, Jasper had whisked me upstairs and onto our bed.

"I'm so sorry I let him hurt you, Sweetheart," he said slowly, his jaw tightening in anger. "I wanted to kill him for it, but I knew it was more important to take care of you."

I raised my good hand to touch his cold cheek, trying to massage the tension out of his face with my fingers. "I'm glad you didn't kill him," I answered quietly. Unease flashed through his eyes, and I hurried to correct his suspicion. "Not because I would miss him," I said hastily. "But because you would feel bad about it later. He's a fuck up, but he's been your brother for decades. You would beat yourself up about it if you permanently damaged him."

His face relaxed into a relieved grin and he leaned down to kiss my nose. "Always worried about everyone else's feelings," he teased lightly before his face grew serious again. "How are you doing? I'm sure Edward being here is a lot to process."

"I'm okay, I guess," I sighed. "I really have let the anger go. I feel bad that I'm causing him pain, but I'm not about to change anything about my life just to make him feel better. I'm kind of done thinking about him now though," I said with a smirk. "I'd much rather think about you kissing my boo boo better."

He stared at me incredulously for a second and I mentally relaxed to allow him to feel my desire. "You're really in the mood?" he asked, his expression doubtful. "I assumed you'd be too sore."

I gave him a loopy grin and started trying to get out of my shirt. "Nah, modern pain medication is good stuff. I'll be fine if we take it nice and slow. Besides," I added, "Who knows how long it'll be before we get any decent alone time again? The next few days are sure to be full of Cullen drama."

He answered my mischievous grin with his own and rapidly helped me out of my clothes. His hands were soft and gentle against my body, leaving me shivering for more contact. By the time he slipped a finger into my folds, I was desperate with need. "More, please," I gasped against his lips.

He quickly removed his clothes and I moaned when I felt the head of his dick at my entrance. Our coupling was slow and gentle, and we held eye contact with each other the whole time. My orgasm crept up on me slowly, breaking in waves once it arrived. Jasper's climax followed soon after, and he cleaned me up gently before helping me into the bathroom to finish my evening routine.

Jasper noticed me wincing as I struggled into my pajama top. "I knew we shouldn't have done that," he said sadly. "You're sore now, aren't ya?"

"It was totally worth it," I answered honestly. "Connecting with you that way was more important than an achy shoulder. Speaking of connection," I continued quickly, as the thought crossed my mind, "I wanted to ask you what Malcolm meant when he called me your mate. Is it just another word for spouse or something?"

He deftly helped me finish getting my shirt on and carried me to bed. I waited patiently for his answer, surprised at his hesitance in answering. "Not really," he finally began. "Most vampires don't live in the human world, so marriage doesn't mean much to them. I've never really liked the word 'mate', but it's widely used to describe an intensely bonded pair."

"Like Peter and Char," I said immediately. I had often thought that their love was palpable, and the term 'mate' seemed appropriate for them.

"Right," he answered with a smile. "Not all vampire couples are 'mates', but Char and Peter surely are. So are Rosalie and Emmett and Carlisle and Esme."

"Not you and Alice?" I asked slowly. His face softened and he shook his head gently.

"I used to think so," he admitted. "But now I know different." He stared deep into my eyes and I could imagine his high speed vampire mind searching for the words he wanted. "I don't want to minimize what Alice and I had, because it was good for a long time. But, what you and I have is totally different, Bella. Our connection is more existential, more fundamental. Apparently, Malcolm picked up on that as well."

"Yeah, I feel that way too," I said softly as I climbed into bed. "What'd you think of Malcolm?" I asked sleepily, struggling against my drug induced drowsiness.

"His emotions are unusual," Jasper answered. "He feels a kind of distance from everyone around him, like he doesn't have any strong relationships. Maybe because he's so old," he postulated. "He may be the oldest vampire I've ever met. I think he's trustworthy and he sincerely wants to help, though."

"That's good," I mumbled, settling comfortably into the covers.

"Sweet dreams," Jasper murmured into my hair. "I love you."

"Love you too," I mumbled. I heard him dial his phone and speak Emmett's name before he began whispering, allowing me to fall quickly to sleep.

My shoulder hurt like a bitch in the morning, but Jasper tolerated my grouchiness with gentle good humor. Char had found a 24-hour pharmacy last night after hunting, so Jasper was able to help me into a sling after I dressed, which helped the pain a little. He then brought me a cup of coffee and helped me pack my bag, ignoring my bitchy comments about not knowing what to pack for a vampire intervention.

As I sat down to eat my cereal, he wordlessly refilled my coffee and handed me a pain pill. Peter and Char loaded the car up before joining us at the table while I finished eating. I was relieved when they reported that there had been no sign of Edward near the house last night. I knew that the three of them wouldn't let Edward anywhere near me without permission, but it was nice to know he wasn't outside staring at my window all night.

I spent the ride to the airport mentally preparing myself for the emotional tension the day was likely to bring. I had every expectation of drama from Edward, but I would try my best to be polite to him. Snuggling into Jasper's arm, I focused on positive thoughts in the hopes that we could all act like adults during the flight.

Peter pulled the SUV into the airport parking lot, and I was relieved to see Malcolm waiting for us in front of one of the hangers. I scanned the area to look for Edward, but I didn't see him. I wasn't sure if that made me pleased or anxious. As little as I wanted to spend more time with him, I felt that Peter was correct in his theory that it was better to keep a close eye Edward's location.

My musings were cut short by the sound of a powerful car engine approaching. I was unsurprised to see it was a silver Volvo. It was a different model than he had driven in Forks, but Edward's taste in cars was clearly unchanged. He parked in the lot and walked quickly toward us. There was no sign of the injuries he had received last night, and I allowed myself a moment of envy as my shoulder began to ache again.

Jasper and I fell into step behind Peter and Charlotte, walking briskly toward Malcolm's waiting figure.

"Guid mornin'," he said pleasantly. "How's yer arm, Lass?"

"Sore," I admitted ruefully. "But I know it will feel better in a few days. Thanks again for helping me last night."

"Nae worries," he answered automatically, his expression friendly yet detached. Edward approached us at the same time as the pilot, and we all boarded the plane. There were more than enough seats for all of us, but I wasn't surprised when Edward chose a seat directly across from me and Jasper. I did find it interesting that Malcolm chose the seat next to my former love.

Making a conscious decision to ignore Edward, I focused on making myself comfortable and getting my iPod setup. Within minutes, we were taking off. I closed my eyes and clung to Jasper's hand as we made our ascent. Once we leveled off, I finally opened my eyes, startled when I found both Edward and Malcolm staring unabashedly at me.

Glancing up, I noticed Jasper looking back at them. His expression was intent, but his posture was relaxed, so I just snuggled up against him and stared back at Malcolm.

"Are we nae making ye uncomfortable?" he asked, grinning widely. I smiled back, amazed at the difference the happy expression made on his rugged face.

I shrugged my good shoulder as I answered, "Not really. I've been stared at by several other vampires. You get used to it." He chuckled in response, and I could almost feel Jasper rolling his eyes beside me.

"Ye've pricked ma curiosity, Lass," the Scottish vampire admitted, surprise evident in his tone. "I'm wonderin' how ye came to be here in a jet plane full o' vampires?"

"Well, it's kind of a long story," I answered slowly, forcing myself to tamp down the nervous laughter that wanted to erupt out of me.

"It's a lang flight," he answered, challenging me with his eyes.

"What the Hell?" I deadpanned, "If you need a soap opera fix, who am I to refuse you?" Jasper smiled and shook his head ruefully and Peter called out "Hell Yeah!" from his seat. Edward glowered at me from his seat next to Malcolm, but I just shrugged and dove into the story of my life.

I kept my narrative brief but accurate, and I didn't pull any punches when I got to the part about Edward abandoning me. I gave only bare bones details about my struggles before running into Jasper. I wasn't ashamed of anything I'd done, but the strange vampire was a relative stranger.

"Maybe someday you'll let me ken the rest of the story," he said slyly after I finished speaking.

"Maybe someday you'll earn that privilege," I answered tartly. He flashed a grin before turning abruptly to Jasper.

"And the lass we're going tae visit was yer companion?" he asked brusquely.

"She was that and more," Jasper answered softly, staring out the window at the passing clouds. I squeezed his hand, trying to convey my love and comfort to him. "She showed me another way to exist, a way that I could tolerate," he continued, finally making eye contact with Malcolm.

"An' she truly sees the future?" he probed. Jasper began describing Alice's ability as well as the way she behaved immediately after the Cullens left Forks.

"Her emotions were erratic," Jasper explained. "She would flip like a switch. One moment, she was calm, the next frantic, the next she was despondent. Other times, she was just empty."

Malcolm further questioned Jasper about his ability to feel and manipulate emotions. Jasper answered honestly, but he finally raised his eyebrow at the Scotsman. "I can't tell how much of this is information you need to help Alice, and how much is just idle curiosity," he said sternly. "I'm not trying to hide anything from anyone, but we're not here for your entertainment either."

"Fair enaw," Malcolm answered evasively. Turning to Edward, he pressed on. "An' ye read the minds of those around ye?"

Before Edward could answer, Jasper cleared his throat. "Before Edward fills you in on his talent, how about you explain your ability? It works through touch?"

Malcolm shot Jasper a quick smile. "Aye. When I touch someain, I get a sort o' 'feelin' abou' tham. Sometimes, I ken their thoughts, or feel thar emotions, but it's usually vaguer than that. Whan I'm dealing with a bodie who's out o' control, I can impose calm on them, but as soon as I break contact, tha effect ends."

Disappointment filled me. "So it's only temporary?" I asked. "There's no chance to permanently help Alice?"

"I didnae say that, Lass. "O'er th' years, I've helped many a newbairn an' several nae sae new. I use mah talent tae calm them enaw tae start teachin' them anither way tae think. I'm usually successful, although, as I've said, I've ne'er seen a case like this Alice a' yours 'afore. Now," he said, turning back to Edward, "ye read minds?"

Edward merely nodded in response, his expression cold. "And ye cannae turn it off?" Edward shook his head negatively, looking like a truculent teenager. "That must be verra difficult," Malcolm said, a trace of kindness in his voice for the first time during the conversation.

Edward snorted and turned away from Malcolm to stare out the window. I had often thought that one of the reasons Edward was so likely to judge others was the fact that he was constantly exposed to people's worst thoughts- the things we all think but don't say. I almost spoke it aloud, but I decided to be the better person and not torment Edward by talking about him to a stranger in front of his face.

I grabbed my ear buds and curled back into Jasper. I noticed that Edward was staring intently at Jasper, his jaw clenched with tension. Jasper was returning Edward's stare, clearly thinking something unpleasant at him. I allowed myself a small smile at the thought that Jasper could now feel like he had avenged my injuries by hurting Edward with his thoughts.

Closing my eyes to avoid the staring contest, I focused on the music and drifted off to sleep. I woke suddenly when my ears popped, abruptly realizing that we were already descending into New York. I clung tightly to Jasper's hand during the rough landing, sighing in relief when the plane stopped moving.

Eager to be out of the plane and away from Edward's staring eyes, I jumped out of my seat and dragged Jasper to the door, stepping out of the jet into Emmett's waiting arms as soon as the flight crew opened the hatch.

"How are you, Bells?" he asked, looking sadly at my injured arm.

"I'll live, Emmett," I answered evasively. In all honesty, I was getting pretty sore again, but I just wanted to get a move on and get the visit over with. Jasper, Peter, and Charlotte exited the plane, followed closely by Malcolm. Jasper introduced Emmett to the Scottish vampire.

"Thank you for coming," Emmett said politely, shaking Malcolm's hand. "I really hope you can help her…" His sentence trailed off as he noticed Edward slowly approaching from the plane. Emmett gave me a gentle hug before guiding me back into Jasper's arms. He strode quickly over to meet Edward, and I was surprised when he gripped Edward's shoulder in greeting.

Seconds later, Edward's gasp of pain clued me into the face that Emmett's grasp was far from friendly. No words were spoken, but Emmett looked as if he was giving Edward a mental tongue lashing to match the punishing grip on his arm.

"You're my brother, Emmett," Edward choked out. "You're supposed to be on _my_ side."

"Edward, I do love you like a brother," Emmett answered out loud. "But you need to understand that my only concern in this situation is Bella's happiness. What she says goes, end of story. Furthermore," he growled, "If you _ever _cause, or even allow, damage to her again, I _will_ make you pay."

Edward stared silently at the larger vampire, clearly in shock at Emmett's stance on me. Turning back to the rest of us, Emmett called over his shoulder, "Come on, let's get this circus on the road. The others are waiting."

We all followed him to a waiting limousine. The ride was quiet and tense, so I dug out my iPod again. Eventually, I realized we weren't headed toward the Cullen home.

"Where are we going?" I asked, looking up at Jasper in confusion.

"Don't worry, Little Bird," Peter answered first. "We wanted ya to be comfortable while you worry about Alice, so we rented a house about a half hour away from the Cullen place. It's just a quick run from there, but far enough away for privacy."

"Thank you guys," I said, smiling warmly at the three members of my family. "That was really considerate."

A few minutes later, we pulled up to a modest cabin on the other side of the valley from the Cullen home. I climbed out of the limo, followed by Peter and Charlotte, while Jasper got my bag. Peter unlocked the door and we filed inside the home. The house was small but tidy, and I knew I would be as comfortable as was possible while we waited to see if Malcolm could help Alice.

Peter was already messing with the TV, smiling slyly as he shook a board game box at me. "Jenga in ten minutes," he warned. His face softened as he nodded toward the bedroom. "Go say goodbye to J. He's in there worryin'."

I shot him a parting smile of thanks before walking into the little bedroom. Jasper had set my suitcase on the bed and was staring down at it, like it was attempting to escape.

"Stop it," I ordered gently, wrapping my arms around his torso. "I'll be fine here, and I'll be waiting when you guys are finished doing whatever it is you're going to do with Alice. I'm not afraid, and I know you're coming back here to me. Then we can move on with our life."

He scooped me into his arms before sitting down on the bed with me in his lap. "I just can't explain how hard it is to leave you, Sweetheart," he whispered. "Every cell in my body is screaming at me to stay here, but I can't."

"That's right, you can't," I answered softly. "So go help Alice and get your ass back here as soon as possible." I pulled his head down to mine, allowing our lips to meet in a soft, powerful embrace. "I love you," I whispered, standing up and tugging him out of the room.

He followed me wordlessly, his body tense with reluctance. He said a short farewell to Peter and Char before pulling me fiercely to his chest in a tight hug.

"I love you, Bella," he said, staring into my eyes.

"I love you too, Jasper," I answered, stepping back into Peter's waiting arms. Jasper smiled at me before he turned away, but it didn't meet his eyes. I stood silently, listening to the sound of the limo pulling away. When I could no longer hear the engine, I turned to Peter, brushing tears off of my cheeks.

"You ready to play blocks, or what?" I asked him, pasting a smile on my face.

"I was born ready, Birdy," he drawled, pulling me over to the table. Char joined us, and within minutes we were all laughing at each other's antics as we played the infuriating game. Even Peter and Charlotte struggled to move the wooden blocks without knocking down the tower. We spent over an hour cracking each other up before I finally pleaded exhaustion.

Gingerly easing myself down on the couch, I looked up in surprise when I heard Char hiss something to Peter faster than I could understand.

Peter's face was stark with worry, making my stomach drop in fear. "Try out the back," he ordered, tossing my shoes and coat at his wife as he whipped out his phone. The sound of glass breaking in the bedroom shot through the house. "Shit," Peter muttered. "Time to run for it."

**AN- I know, I know, you hate the cliffies! I do too, but they're just gonna be a fact of life for awhile. **

**Sorry this one is a few days late, but I have a good excuse! Some awesome people have started a compilation called Fandom for Preemies, and I'm thrilled to announce that I have contributed an outtake! Remember the missing hot tub lemon from chapter thirteen? Well, if you want to find out what went down, head on over to http:/fandomforpreemies(dot)blogspot(dot)com Make a donation of five dollars or more to the March of Dimes during the month of November (there's a tab on the website!), and you'll receive the compilation via e-mail. While you're there, check out the profiles of the preemies of our fandom, including my own miracles, Emma and Jane. Help us ensure that someday every baby will be full term!**

**To MM, who owns my ass and doesn't know it- sorry you had a tough week. Hang in there!**

**Finally, my recommendation… Control by VegaTenshi. It's Jasper and an original character- but TRUST ME, you'll love her! Jasper and Sage are best friends (but they might be more!), and he helps her stand up to her overbearing brother, Emmett. I'm loving Jasper and loving to hate Emmett. Try it out, and leave lots of love- original character stories have a hard time getting attention!**

**Love you all, my people!**

**heavy**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-seven

**Mynxi is my beta. She deserves a raise. **

**Thank you team Malcolm for the help with the Scottish. NewTownGirl translated and Pyejammies (and her husband!) and chedoo28 pre-read. Again, I softened things a bit, so any inaccuracies are my own. For those of you who struggle with Malcolm's accent, there is a glossary at the end.**

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer. My ass is proud to be the property of mynxi.**

**JPOV**

I rushed down the steps, forcing myself to keep moving away from Bella, even though all I wanted to do was run back to her. Clenching my jaw, I climbed into the waiting limo and took the empty seat next to Emmett.

"Jesus, Jasper, relax," Emmett said, taking in my obvious tension. "We're only going to be a few miles away."

I rolled my eyes at his inability to understand the fear that came with loving a fragile human. "It's incredibly difficult for me to walk away from her, Emmett," I answered tightly. "She's been through so much, and she's just now getting over her fear of abandonment.

I felt Edward's outrage at my intentional dig, and smiled as I mentally continued. _"That's right, I'm talking about the fear of abandonment __**you**__ gave her, Asshole." _He growled quietly, but I just kept smiling.

Returning my attention to Emmett, I forced myself to relax a little. The sooner we got this over with, the sooner I could be back at Bella's side, and I was guessing that I would need a good attitude to be useful to Malcolm.

"I worry about her constantly," I admitted to Emmett. "She's so breakable; the silliest accident could take her away from me."

"I wonder why ye dinnae jist change th' lass awready," Malcolm said, leaning forward with interest. "She's clearly agreeable, sae why th' delay?"

"Plans are in the works," I answered tersely, fighting aggravation at the delay this trip was causing. "She has a few more things she wants to experience as a human, but once we get past this little interruption, we can take care of those and make her less breakable."

Edward growled at me again, the sound matching the combination of anger and despair my words were causing him. _"Still worryin' about the state of her soul?" _ I snarked at him in my head. _"Don't worry, she's a big girl, Edward. She and I will face eternity, Heaven, or Hell together."_

Clearly aware of the mental torment I was inflicting on Edward, Emmett flashed me a quick grin. "Peter and Charlotte won't let anything happen to her while you're away, Jasper," he said soothingly. "She's in good hands. They'll take care of her while we take care of Alice, and you'll be back together before you know it."

"Yeah, I know," I muttered. Although I realized that Emmett was in all likelihood correct, I still felt an unusual amount of anxiety about leaving Bella. Walking away from her was always difficult, but today I felt as if I was fighting against a magnetic pull, even as the distance between us increased.

As our driver pulled the car around a tight corner, I caught the slightest scent of an unknown vampire. "Have him stop the car," I hissed, already opening the door.

Emmett restrained me gently while he used the intercom to relay the request to the driver. I cursed the slow human response time as I waited for the car to stop before exiting. As soon as I stepped out, I caught four additional vampire scents. They were clear, but faint, and I estimated them to be about a month old.

Emmett stepped out of the car to join me, confusion written all over his face. "Jasper, what the Hell? We're only five minutes from home."

I kept my mouth shut while I waited for him to pick up the scents. His nose finally caught up with mine, and he smiled his comprehension at me. "Relax," he repeated. "Those are from a group of nomads that came through here about a month ago."

"Five nomads together?" I asked in surprise. Nomads tended to travel alone or in small groups, and five was a large number.

"Yeah," Emmett replied easily. "We smelled 'em while we were out hunting and tracked them down nearby the house. They were all young, and really nervous around us. They wouldn't say much, even to Carlisle, and you know how he is. They left immediately after we spoke, and haven't been back since. They were just passing through," he assured me. "Can we please get a move on? Everyone's waiting on us."

Reluctantly, I allowed Emmett to lead me back to the car. The scents were all old and faint, but I just couldn't shake an ominous feeling about this group of young nomads. Remotely, I felt Edward's emotional turmoil and Malcolm's direct curiosity.

"Still a vigilant warrior?" the Scottish vampire asked.

"Old habits die hard, especially now that I have something precious to protect," I answered quietly. I felt an intense sadness from him in response to my words, but I chose not to press him about it in the car. "You seem to think like a fighter yourself," I suggested, recalling his attitude when he first approached us in Montana.

"Ah spent most ay mah human life fighting," he admitted. "However, mah talents hae kept me oot of conflict fur th' mos' part as a vampire."

"That's very impressive, since I can tell you've led this existence for a long time," I commented, wondering if he would satisfy my idle curiosity about his age.

He smiled, clearly aware that I was digging for more of his history. "Ah was changed in th' year 1140," he eventually admitted, his eyes staring far away in memory.

I gasped unnecessarily, unable to hide my shock at the vampire's age. For eight hundred and seventy years, the man across from me had walked the world as a vampire. It was no wonder that he seemed distant from us; with the possible exception of Carlisle, we must seem infantile to the ancient Scot.

I was distracted from our conversation by Edward's rapid glance out the car window. His emotions shifted from desperation to hope and triumph. _"What's got you so cheerful?"_ I thought at him, aware that whatever pleased him was likely to be a problem for me. He didn't respond, but the smugness he was projecting increased as stared at me with an innocent expression. _"You have no chance at getting at Bella through Peter and Charlotte," _I warned him, "_especially now that they know you're around. Whatever plan you're dreaming up, you should just give it up now before you get yourself in a situation you don't like."_

He just rolled his eyes and continued ignoring me while Emmett and Malcolm watched our silent exchange intently. With relief, I noticed that the limo was pulling up to the Cullen home. I wished Alice nothing but good things, but this whole situation was making me extremely uneasy. The sooner I could be reunited with Bella, the happier I would be.

We all exited the car and walked toward the porch, where Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle stood waiting. They were all radiating hope and excitement, and I truly hoped that Malcolm would fulfill their expectations.

Emmett flew up the steps to his beautiful wife, spinning her around until she smacked him on the head. I opened my mouth to introduce Malcolm to the others, but Esme's clear voice interrupted me.

"Edward!" she called out, rushing over to embrace him. He wrapped his arms around her, but his emotions were detached, as if he was thinking about something other than this reunion. "Don't ever stay out of touch like that again," Esme ordered, stepping back to look into his eyes. "We were worried sick about you. So much has happened…" she trailed off, stepping back as Edward gave her a hard look.

Edward was spared the necessity of a reply by Carlisle's approach. He embraced his son fondly, but I felt his disappointment at Edward's behavior. "Welcome home, Edward," Carlisle said softly. "We're glad you're back."

From the porch, Rosalie gave an indignant snort, glaring at Edward menacingly before stalking into the house.

"She'll come around," Esme said quietly, turning back to Edward. "How are you, Dear?"

"I'm trying to come to terms with everything," he said sadly. I snorted mentally at his play acting. He was experiencing a myriad of emotions right now, but acceptance was not one of them.

"_Cut the drama, Edward,"_ I thought at him. "_Not everyone is buying the golden boy act anymore. They all know you injured Bella, and I bet they're not gonna blindly follow your lead anymore._" He ignored me, but I felt a spike in the level of deception around him.

Malcolm stood beside me, watching all of this unfold with unashamed interest. "Forgive me," Esme, said, finally remembering the new vampire's presence. "We're being terribly rude in our excitement to see our son. I'm Esme Cullen," she continued, extending her hand to Malcolm as she approached us.

"Ma pleasure," Malcolm answered cheerfully, squeezing her hand gently before releasing it. His emotional reaction to her was one of polite, yet distant admiration. Carlisle quickly joined us and offered his own hand to the Scottish vampire.

"I'm Carlisle Cullen. Thank you for trying to help our Alice." Malcolm returned the handshake, regarding Carlisle intently as he did so. His emotions ran quickly from disbelief to reluctant admiration as he sized up the head of the Cullen coven.

"Malcolm Stewart," he replied easily, his calm voice at odds with his emotional assessment of Carlisle. "Ah'll dae ma best, but I cannae make ony promises." Carlisle smiled politely and turned to introduce Rosalie, who was still standing on the porch with Emmett.

"This is Rosalie Hale, Emmett's wife," Carlisle said, nodding toward Rose's silent figure. She stared hard at the dark haired vampire beside me, and he returned her gaze evenly before flashing a wide smile.

"That's a bonnie lass ye have thar," Malcolm said to Emmett, his voice reflecting the respect he was feeling for Rose. "Yer lucky tae have each other."

Emmett grinned easily back, and I felt his normal adoration for the woman that had given him this life. I was surprised, however, to hear Rose answer quietly, "I'm the lucky one." I felt the shock of the others echoing my own. Whatever had gone down between the girls back in Montana was evidently still influencing Rosalie's outlook on life.

"Shall we take you to meet Alice?" Carlisle asked quietly, taking the focus off of Rose and Emmett. Malcolm nodded his agreement, and we all followed Carlisle into the house, where Alice was sitting in the same oversized chair I had last seen her in.

Alice's riot of emotions hit me almost immediately, forcing me to brace myself against their violence. She was still experiencing a chaotic mix of anger, despair, desperation, and grief.

"Oh Alice," Edward whispered from behind me, clearly experiencing her thoughts directly. He took a half step toward her tiny body, before freezing again. "It's like she's not even in there," he whispered brokenly, looking desperately at Carlisle and Esme before returning his stare to his favorite sister. His head whipped around again as he pointed at me. "What did you do to her, to make her like this?" he snarled, his need to blame somebody written all over his face.

"I did nothing, Edward," I said, forcing myself to remain calm, despite his baiting. "She wouldn't tell me what was upsetting her. She closed herself completely off from me, leaving me no choice but to leave. I wasn't anywhere near when she started becoming unstable. I know you want to be angry with me right now, but I didn't to this."

Unwilling to justify myself to the perpetual angry teenager, I simply shook my head negatively and turned to Malcolm. He hadn't yet approached Alice to touch her, but he was already staring fixedly at her, his eyes locked on hers. I was shocked at the flood of emotions I was picking up from him. His reactions to us were usually clinical and detached, yet in front of Alice he was feeling an intense compassion.

He walked slowly toward her chair, kneeling in front of her as he reached up with one hand to gently touch her cheek. Watching him close his eyes, I was struck again by the force of his emotional reaction to her. He was experiencing sorrow and intense regret, but above all, I was picking up a vital hope from him.

"Ah, Lass, what have ye done tae yersel?" he whispered sadly, opening his eyes again. We all watched in amazement as Alice slowly turned her head to the sound of his voice and looked directly into his eyes. They both froze for a moment until he eventually brought his free hand up to gently cup her face.

"Rest now, Lass," he ordered gently. I felt everyone's shock as we watched Alice close her eyes and sag back against the chair. "Is there a bed ur sofa?" Malcolm asked, looking around the room expectantly. For a long minute, we all just stared at him.

"Is she sleeping?" Emmett finally demanded, his confusion evident in his voice.

"No, tae ma knowledge, we're no' capable of true sleep. If ye'll give me a chance tae make her mair comfortable, I'll explain what ah can," he said impatiently, clearly waiting on directions to a bed.

"Her room is this way," Esme said quickly, heading toward the stairs. Malcolm swept Alice's tiny body up in his arms, and I was struck at how normal it was for me to see my ex-wife being cared for by someone else. I guessed it was probably because my own arms were now so used to being wrapped around Bella.

We all followed Esme up to Alice's room, waiting near the doorway as Malcolm carefully lay her down on the bed. He climbed in beside her and arranged the pillows to allow him to sit beside her, keeping one hand against her face as he moved.

He looked up and smirked at Emmett, who was giving him a death glare and radiating protectiveness over Alice. "I mean nae disrespect tae her," Malcolm said dryly. "I'm using ma gift ter give her mind a chance tae rest, but I have tae touch her tae do it."

I could feel that the others were unsure about this development, so I turned to face my former family. "He's being honest," I said simply. Glancing up at Edward, I raised my eyebrow at him. _"Tell them, Asshole. They're worrying unnecessarily."_

"Jasper's right," Edward responded softly, not meeting my gaze. "Malcolm's only motivation is helping Alice."

I felt the Cullens' relief at Edward's words, and turned back to Malcolm. "Can you explain what's happening to her now?"

He stared down at Alice's relaxed face for a long minute before answering. "Her mind has become trapped in a brannigan of possible futures," he began, his voice sad. "Oor minds are made tae handle many thoughts at wance, but her's has become overwhelmed." He paused for a moment, looking for the words to explain to us. "She's obsessed wi' attemptin' tae alter a future she's seen, constantly lookin' fur decisions that can be changed. She's barely awaur ay onythin' goan on aroond her reit now; her only focus is on th' future she wants tae prevent."

He looked at me evenly, and I asked the question, although I already knew the answer. "She's obsessed about our future apart, isn't she?" He nodded affirmatively, and I felt crushed with guilt. "I didn't choose this though," I whispered, desperately wishing for Bella's peaceful influence. "Alice shut me out. I _never_ would have left her otherwise. She forced me. I don't understand why she would do that if she was desperate to change it."

"We know you didn't choose this, Jasper," Emmett reassured me, clasping my shoulder gently. "We all saw how hard you tried to get her to open up, and Rose and I have seen how hard it was for you to get over losing her." I shot Emmett a burst of gratitude for saying the words I needed to hear.

Forcing myself to let go of guilt for something I couldn't change, I met Malcolm's eyes again. "Can you help her?" I demanded. "Other than allowing her mind to rest while you touch her, is there anything else you can do for her?"

He looked down at her again, and I felt a wave of surprised affection for Alice from him. "Ah think ah can help her," he finally admitted. "It'll take time, an' it'll take yer mate's shield."

I felt the relieved hope of the others wash over me while I processed his words. I still didn't like the idea of exposing Bella to Alice under these circumstances. As if he were reading my mind, Malcolm shook his head at me.

"Atween both uir talents, there's nae harm that could come tae yon Bella," he assured me. "I'll be calmin' Alice wi' mah touch an' yoo'll be ready tae whisk bella awa' at the first inklin' of danger." His words were flippant, but I could feel the sincere faith behind them.

"I'll ask her," was my only response. Everyone in the room, myself included knew that she would agree, but I wasn't about to start putting words into her mouth.

"I'll go get Bella's room ready," Esme enthused, rushing from the room. I smiled at the joy she was radiating at the news that there was hope for Alice. The others filed slowly out of the room, each experiencing their own happiness at the news. I remained in the doorway, watching Malcolm stare tenderly down at Alice.

"Your emotions are quite different toward her," I said neutrally. Internally, I was quite suspicious that Malcolm and Alice were already a mated pair, but I was curious to hear his thoughts on the matter.

He looked up at me, projecting surprise at my words. He closed his eyes for a moment, clearly looking for words. When he spoke, his voice was low and full of the intense grief he was experiencing. "Ah hae experienced this entire existence alone, Young Warrior," he began, staring past me as if I wasn't there. "The wan who changed me killed mah wife an' son. When Ah woke frae the burnin' an' saw whit he hud done, Ah killed him."

I felt a wrenching pity for his loss. I would never know the love of my own child, but I picked it up constantly from the humans around me, and I couldn't imagine the difficulty of facing an eternity bearing that pain. Unwilling to interrupt the ancient vampire, I made a mental note to ask Esme to speak to him about her own experience, in the hopes that they might bring each other comfort.

"Frae that day, Ah hae wandered this earth, learnin' aboot what Ah was as Ah did sae. Mah talent made feedin' aff ay humans unbearable, sae Ah taught myself tae feed aff animals sometime in th' first decade ay mah vampire existence. Ye ken th' isolation thes causes amang oor kind," he said, giving me a knowing look.

I nodded my agreement, clearly remembering the disbelief I encountered from Peter and Charlotte when I explained my change in diet to them. Peter was my brother in every way possible, but to this day, he was unable to understand why I lived the way I did. My respect for Malcolm increased as I imagined making the decision to live off of animals without the support of a "family" around him.

"I've hud many encoonters wi' other wanderers over the years, but I've nae experienced an emotional connection tae anither vampire I've mit. Ah thoucht mah ability tae care was extinguished wi' th' li'es ay mah precious family."

He paused for a second, and I felt both the weight of his grief and the exhilaration of his feelings for Alice. "Until Ah walked intae this hoose an' touched her. Ah cannae tell ye how, coz I've ne'er even heard 'er speak, an' her thoughts are nae her true self, but Ah ken 'at Ah will spend the rest o' ma existence carin' fur this woman."

_Yep, definitely mates,_ I thought to myself. Reluctant to cheapen the profound admission he had made with platitudes, I gave him a respectful nod before I left the room, sending him a brief shot of my respect and gratitude as I walked away. Allowing myself a smile, I began imagining Alice's first response upon "waking" in the arms of her newly acquired knight in shining armor. I hoped it would be a smooth transition for both of them, although I knew her strong nature would probably cause quite a few bumps in the road while they got to know each other.

Wanting to say a quick goodbye before I ran back to Bella, I followed Emmett's scent through the house. Thankfully, he and Rosalie hadn't begun their "reunion", and were sitting quietly with each other waiting for me.

"I'm outta here," I began, before an intense feeling of dread knocked the breath out of me. "Bella," I whispered, my body frozen by intense fear.

"What is it?" Rosalie demanded, emitting panic as she stood and moved toward me.

Her movement broke my momentarily paralysis, and I began running out of the house, followed closely by Emmett and Rose. "Where are we going?" Emmett demanded, projecting his complete willingness to do whatever I needed him to do.

"The cabin," I barked out. "Something is _very _wrong with Bella." I vaguely heard Carlisle and Esme promising to join us there as soon as they finished trying to reach Edward.

"What do they mean about trying to reach Edward?" I asked sharply.

"Jasper, he disappeared while your vampire whisperer was working his mojo all over Alice," Rosalie said slowly.

Her answer caused my cold heart to clench. I couldn't believe that I had been so focused on Alice and Malcolm that I hadn't noticed Edward leaving. "Exactly when?" I demanded, dreading the answer.

"Well, no one really noticed it happen, we were all so excited about Alice," Emmett answered slowly. "Carlisle just thought Edward needed some time to himself to work through all the difficult changes in his life."

"Damn it," I growled, certain that he was somehow involved in whatever was wrong with Bella.

Emmett's eyes hardened as he finally caught up with my fears. "You think he's foolish enough to go over there and make trouble for Bella, don't you?"

My feet flying over the rough terrain, I answered honestly. "I think he's desperate, Emmett. So desperate that he hurt her unintentionally the other night, and so desperate that he's willing to do anything to get her alone."

Emmett began muttering threats under his breath, and I decided to try calling Peter. I whipped my phone out of my pocket, unsurprised when Peter didn't answer.

_Please, let her be okay,_ I pleaded silently to any higher power that might be listening. I didn't spend much time thinking about God; the way I spent the first part of my vampire life makes faith uncomfortable for me. However, for Bella, I would pray, knowing she deserved any assistance I could send her until I had her safe in my arms again.

As we approached the little cabin, I was hit with the scents of more than twenty unfamiliar vampires.

"Jesus," Rose muttered. "How many?"

"At least twenty," I answered shortly. "But there won't be that many now." I was still sick with dread for Bella's safety in the middle of a vampire attack, but I knew that Peter and Char had faced small armies before.

Our approach brought us to the back yard of the little house, and the destruction was immediately apparent. All of the first floor windows were broken and the back door hung by one hinge. I scanned the yard, searching in vain for the sound of Bella's heart.

Dismembered vampire bodies littered the yard, and I jumped to the side as Char launched a head through the air near me. Peter grinned evilly as he faced the two remaining vampires. He waited patiently for them to attack, but when they did so he moved like lightning, beheading the first attacker before rapidly spinning to grab the second by the neck.

"Keep him alive," I growled, pushing a wave of fear and lethargy at the struggling vampire. "Where is she, Peter?" I demanded frantically.

I felt the anger, fear, and intense regret he was experiencing before he even opened his mouth. "Edward," he answered grimly. I didn't waste time pestering Peter with other questions. Turning to the whimpering vampire he was still restraining, I raised one eyebrow.

"Who sent you here?" I growled, pouring all of my anger and intimidation into the male newborn.

"Don't know the boss's name," he moaned weakly. "All the orders came through Riley over there," he said, nodding toward a decapitated body nearby. "But no one ever saw the boss."

"Why are you here?" I demanded, noticing Carlisle and Esme approaching the house. Their worry about Bella's safety amplified my own, and I snarled at the quivering vampire.

"Get the girl and bring her to the boss," the boy answered reluctantly. "That's all I know, man. They didn't tell us anything."

"Good to know," I said conversationally. Turning away, I allowed him a second of false hope before I whipped back around to sever the head from his body. Tossing both pieces into the pile that Char had already started, I turned to face the others.

Emmett and Rose were clearly shocked at my actions, but Carlisle and Esme were radiating horror at the violence they had just witnessed.

"Let's get this clear," I said coldly. "They came here and attacked my family. They allowed Edward to take my mate away from me. There is _nothing_ I will not do to get her back and make sure these fuckers never come near her again."

Giving Carlisle a hard stare, I continued. "Edward has Bella against her will. I am going to go and get her back. You are welcome to come and help, but you need to understand that after she is safe, he will pay for taking her. Bella doesn't have the ability to teach him that lesson herself yet, so I'm gonna do that for her. I won't kill him, but he'll wish he was dead by the time I'm done. I understand if you can't help, but don't even think about standing in my way."

The Cullens all regarded me sadly, but each of them nodded their agreement. Looking up, I realized that Peter and Char had already set the remains on fire. "Let's find Bella," I said quietly, taking off at a run along the clear trail of Bella and Edwards scents.

**AN- **

**Hope I was fast enough to make up for the cliffy! Remember, if you kill me, I can't finish the story **

**Check out the teaser for the Hot Tub Outtake I have contributed to the Fandom for Preemies compilation at http:/fandomforpreemies (dot) blogspot (dot) com/2010/10/compilation-teaser-hot-tub-outtake-from (dot) html. Donate five dollars or more to the March of Dimes during the month of November, and you'll receive the ENTIRE compilation, with stories from over 95 writers!**

**MM- thank you for nursing me through yet another cold. I love you even more under the influence of cold medicine!**

**Here's the Scottish glossary for those who need it! I couldn't include every single word, I just tried to make sure the main ideas got through.**

**Dinnae- don't Ah- I Ma- my**

**Oot-out Nae- no Tae- to**

**Brannigan- riot Wance- once Awaur= aware**

**Reit- right Atween-between Uir- our**

**Frae- from thoucht-thought Hud- had**

**Dain- done Ken- know Hoose-house**

**Hoo-how Are nae- aren't**


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty-eight

**Thank you mynxi, for doing what you do, and for just being you.**

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer.**

**BPOV**

Char's hands flew as she shoved shoes on my feet and wrapped my jacket around me. I gasped in pain when she jostled my injured arm, and she muttered an apology before lifting me quickly onto Peter's back. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his waist and held on with my good arm.

"I'll go through the window first," Charlotte said calmly. "Don't want Bella to get cut up on the glass and send these ass holes into a feeding frenzy."

"Right behind ya, Baby Doll," Peter said flippantly, but I caught the intense look the pair gave each other. Charlotte tossed her golden curls and barreled through the window, breaking the glass cleanly out of the frame.

"Hold on tight, Little Bird," Peter called out, propelling himself forward in Charlotte's footsteps. I closed my eyes at the intense rush of cold air, bracing myself for our impact with the ground. Peter landed more gently than I expected, but the pain in my dislocated shoulder was breathtaking as I slid forward awkwardly on his back. He came to a stop next to his wife and I looked up, hoping to see a clear path to safety.

The pain in my shoulder was quickly forgotten when I took in the chilling sight of twenty crimson-eyed vampires circling the back yard. They seemed momentarily shocked by our appearance, so Peter took the opportunity to attempt to talk our way out of this cluster fuck.

"Only gonna make this offer once," he began conversationally. "Clear on outta here and don't come back, or it's the last mistake you'll make."

The invading vampires merely snarled in response, robbing me of my short lived hope for a peaceful resolution.

"Didn't think so," Peter muttered. He and Char began hissing back and forth at each other, clearly discussing strategy. "Hop on down, Birdie," he ordered gently, kneeling slightly to assist me. "It's too chancy to try to run, Bella. Can't have this many newborns on our backs. We're gonna have to stay and slug it out."

His expression was grim but calm, even as he eyed the slowly advancing vampires surrounding us. "Tell me how to help," I whispered, swallowing the panic that wanted to paralyze me. I realized I couldn't contribute to the fighting, but I wanted to do everything I could to make it easier for Peter and Char in the face of such bad odds.

"Just hunker down where you are, Sugar," Char said kindly, her voice at odds with her tense posture as she stood in front of me. "Keep your head down and don't move until we tell ya."

Immediately complying, I watched as the circle of vampires continued to advance, probably hoping to spook one of us into doing something stupid. Neither Peter nor Charlotte fell for it, both waiting calmly for one of the invaders to make the first move.

I held my breath, waiting for the explosion of violence that I knew was coming. The invaders paused simultaneously, and time slowed even to my dull, human eyes. Peter moved smoothly to stand behind me, leaving me bracketed as much as possible by my two guardians. He crouched down, his red eyes gleaming in anticipation.

Suddenly, the air crackled as two of the invading vampires lunged toward us. A dark haired female rushed at Charlotte, her red eyes locked on me as she moved. Forcing myself to breathe, I watched as Char deftly evaded her by leaning to one side. The attacking vampire smiled triumphantly as she reached for me, only to yelp in pain when Char yanked her back, viciously tossing her away from me and removing her arm from its socket.

Turning my head, I watched Peter toss a head over his shoulder as he punted a lifeless body out of the way.

"Who's next?" he called out cheerfully. I took a deep breath as I waited for a response, but no verbal answer came. Instead, the air became a blur as it filled with charging vampires. Frozen where I crouched in the cold grass, I watched as Peter and Char systematically repelled every attack, all the while making sure that no one came close to me.

Their movements were fast and precise, never taking them a step farther away from my position. They continued tossing the invaders away, usually short a piece or two of their anatomy. Over and over, the vampires launched themselves at us, and over and over Peter and Char forced them back.

I lost sense of time as I sat and watched the impossibly fast movements of the vampires around me. The thunderous sound of vampires colliding echoed through across the yard, punctuated periodically by the shrieking sound of limbs being rent from vampire bodies. Shockingly, it appeared that the attackers were beginning to back down as their numbers began to dwindle. Detached limbs littered the yard, and I could see at least two decapitated heads from where I was sitting.

"If ya'll leave now, some of you just might escape," Peter called out in a friendly voice. The standing vampires snarled in response.

"We're here for the girl," one of them replied, his voice hard and empty of emotion. He was of average height and build, with sandy brown hair.

"Yeah, we gathered that," Peter answered easily. "Can't take her anywhere without trouble of some sort," he muttered cheerfully. "Anyway, fact of the matter is, you can't have her. You can run now and take a chance at surviving the rest of the day, or we can finish this the hard way. Your choice."

Before the attacker could reply, everyone tensed and looked at the same spot in the woods beyond the yard. It took my human eyes longer to see what they were staring at, but once I identified the figure walking smoothly toward us, I sagged a little in relief.

"Never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad to see you, Edward," Peter said, springing into action as one of the attacking vampires tried to take advantage of the distraction to reach me. Peter read the attack and dodged at the last second, using his arm to clothesline the attacker across the neck. In a flash, another decapitated head joined the pile I had noticed earlier. "Perfect timing," he continued nonchalantly. "Circle around Bella, and we should be able to hold 'em off easy until reinforcements get here."

Edward didn't answer as he moved to join us, evading two attacking vampires easily, tricking them into colliding with each other. The sound of the impact caused me to crouch and cover my ears instinctively. When I looked up, I was shocked to see Edward standing over me, his expression grim. He lifted me to my feet, placing a hand firmly on my good shoulder. Peter stared flatly at him before turning slightly to toss an attacking vampire over his head.

He shook his hair out of his eyes and turned to face us again. He smiled coldly at Edward, the expression doing nothing to hide the rage in his eyes. "Go ahead and take her, Fucker," he growled. "I can't stop you and take care of these newbies at the same time, mores' the pity."

My stomach sank as I realized what Peter was saying. Edward wasn't here to help fight, he was here to take me. Speechless, I looked up at the face of the boy I had once loved, desperately seeking some sign of the person I thought he was.

Peter's voice drew my attention again. "Just be warned," he said, his smile growing even deadlier, "We will catch up with you, and we will make you pay for taking her." Edward didn't answer, but his hand tightened on my shoulder until I pulled away in discomfort. Peter's expression softened as his eyes met mine. "Don't be scared, Little Bird," he ordered softly. "Jasper's already on his way. We _will_ find you."

"I know," I whispered back. "Be careful, I love you both."

"Little help here!" Char barked sharply, snarling at the four vampires she was facing off with. In a flash, Peter turned to help his wife and Edward flung me carelessly over his shoulder. My breath left my lungs in a woosh, and I closed my eyes against the pain in my shoulder.

The cold air hit my face as Edward ran. I opened my eyes briefly, but all I could make out of my surroundings was a blur of barren tree branches. My shoulder throbbed and I fought a wave of nausea from the pain and the disorienting position I was in.

Emotionally, I was numb with disbelief at Edward's actions. Had he somehow organized the small army that attacked us, or was he just taking advantage of the situation? Absently, I wondered if there was any chance that Peter and Jasper would let Edward live after they caught up with us.

I noticed the light growing dimmer as twilight descended around us. We were in a dense forest, and I couldn't make out any signs of habitation amongst the trees. Eventually, I closed my eyes against the nausea and dizziness my inverted position was causing. The pain in my shoulder was worsening rapidly, and I ground my teeth against the urge to cry out.

Overwhelmed by pain, I lost track of time again. Eventually, I noticed Edward's pace beginning to slow. He finally stopped, gently lowering me to the ground. My head swam at the change in position and I stumbled to the ground.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Edward asked, crouching over me with a concerned expression on his face. My emotional detachment ended as suddenly as it began, leaving me awash in a combination of rage and anxiety. My stomach was unable to oppose the cumulative effect of physical pain and emotional turmoil, and I rolled quickly to my side.

"I'm going to be sick," I whispered, seconds before becoming violently ill on the ground. I felt Edward's cold hands on my skin as he held my hair back, murmuring soothing words. The thought of him comforting me caused another wave of nausea, and I moaned thickly before vomiting again.

My stomach finally empty, I flinched away from Edward's hands, hissing, "Don't touch me," as I scooted away from him.

He raised his hands and sat down several feet away from me. "I'm sorry the run made you sick, Bella," he began contritely. "I needed to put some distance between us and the others, but we can go more smoothly from here on. You can climb on my back and it'll be like it was when we ran for fun back in Forks."

I stared at him incredulously. "You think I'm going to come with you willingly?" I asked. "You just kidnapped me, Edward! You left my family back there fighting a crazy bunch of newborn vampires out to get me! You are dragging me against my will through the forest, in the cold, and away from the man I love!" A sad smile crossed his face, but he just shook his head at my words.

"So, no, Edward, I will _not_ climb on your back and pretend we are running for _fun."_ Dragging myself to my feet, I glared down at him. "You can force me to come with you, but I'm going to be kicking and screaming and doing everything in my power to lead Jasper to where I am."

Turning away from him, I looked around the clearing we were in, wishing it was lighter so that I could get my bearings better. I couldn't even tell if we were uphill or in a valley. "Never even enjoyed running with you in Forks," I muttered under my breath, knowing he would hear every word I said.

He jumped to his feet and glided quickly to stand in front of me. "Stop this, Bella," he ordered in a patronizing tone. "I know you're angry at me, and I understand that, but we'll get past it. You know you still love me. The feelings we have for each other are too strong to just disappear."

I gaped at him in shock, unable to believe that he was still harboring hope of having a relationship with me. I didn't think it was possible to be any clearer about my sentiments, but obviously my best effort at explaining this to him had not been up to the task of penetrating his thick skull.

"I was so excited when I overheard the thoughts of the newborns on the way to Carlisle's," he went on, oblivious to my stunned silence. "I just couldn't come up with a way to separate you from the Whitlock hicks, but then, I heard the newborns scouting around the Cullen land. When they picked up your scent, their leader decided to attack the house. I knew I would have to time it just right, but I was sure I would be able to fool Peter long enough to get close to you. I was right," he continued proudly. "It was the perfect opportunity to get you away from the bad influences you've been living with and back where you belong."

My brain felt like it was going to explode if I listened to his insanity any longer. "What about the newborns you left back there, Edward?" I ground out, hoping he had some sort of plan for keeping me out of danger long enough for Jasper to find me. "Did you think they would just give up after you ran away with me?"

"Your _friends_ are more than up to the task of keeping them occupied, Bella," he answered confidently. "There are no thoughts anywhere near us right now; we're totally alone. You can relax. I'll keep you safe." He stepped toward me, radiating smug satisfaction and concern. "First, we need to get back to civilization and get you something to eat," he said solicitously.

Disgust roiled through me, and I fought off another wave of nausea. "Why are you doing this?" I gasped, not expecting an answer. "You left me of your own free will. So why are you…?"

"Bella, I only left because I love you," he interrupted passionately. "It was my sacrifice for you- to leave you so that you could have the life you deserved. I know it was wrong now. I love you too much to exist without you."

"If you love me, leave again," I ordered hoarsely. He looked at me in confusion, clearly in a state of denial. "I did love you, Edward. I won't deny that. But you left, and I learned to live without you. I learned to be happy again, and _I don't love you anymore._"

His expression was blank, and I closed my eyes briefly, hoping to find the words that would get through to him. "You know what else, Edward?" I sighed, opening my eyes again. "You don't love me either." He shook his head negatively, and I held my hand up to prevent him from interrupting me.

"Let me finish," I chided. "I know you think you love me, but you love the Bella Swan you left in the woods. That girl doesn't exist anymore, Edward." Something flickered in his eyes, and I began to hope that I was starting to reach him.

"The Bella you love died as you walked away from me in the forest that day. She died staring at Charlie's corpse and reading about the murder of my mother. She died the first time I had to skip a meal and sleep on a park bench." I leaned toward him, boring into his eyes with mine. "She died forever while I lost my virginity to a stranger so I wouldn't freeze to death."

Edward's face was now a mask of pain, so I pressed on; I was desperate to make this the last time we had this conversation. "Edward, I'm not the same person you fell in love with. I tell it like it is, and I curse if I feel like it. I look after myself, and I don't take shit from _anyone_. I make my own decisions. I love my body and the way Jasper makes it feel. I am not the girl you love, Edward. Your Bella doesn't exist anymore, and for both our sakes, you need to let her go."

Looking at Edward's broken expression, I felt a tug at my heart, even through the anger I was still feeling. I steeled myself, knowing that any comfort I offered would be misinterpreted. Suddenly, Edward whipped his head around, a horrified look marring his otherwise flawless face. He looked back at me, and I felt the beginnings of dread when I looked in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he moaned. "I didn't know. I'm so sorry."

"What is it, Edward?" I asked quickly.

He just stared at me, repeating, "I'm so sorry," again and again in a soft voice.

Tamping down my fear and frustration, I forced myself to be patient. "Edward, you need to tell me what it is. Why are you sorry and how can we fix it?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm. He still didn't answer, so I started with the likeliest cause for his distress.

"Are those vampires chasing us?" I asked, using the same tone I would for a child. He nodded harshly, looking past me into the forest again. He began muttering something under his breath about being followed.

"Edward, we need to try to get somewhere more defensible," I said urgently. "Jasper and the others will be tracking us too. If you can just hold the newborns off long enough, we'll be ok."

He stood up and nodded quickly, yanking on his hair in agitation. "Come on, Edward, let's go. Try to find a place with something at our backs."

He walked toward me, but his movements were robotic and jerky. He was clearly panicking, and I was amazed; the contrast Jasper, Peter, and Char demonstrated with their calm response when they were under attack was plain. "Let's go," I repeated urgently, trying to channel my new family's calm under pressure.

I moved behind Edward, but before I could climb onto his back, we were surrounded by a group of ten red-eyed vampires. Two of them leaped toward us, and I closed my eyes as I braced for the impact. The air rushed around me and I felt Edward's body being ripped away from mine, but the pain I was waiting for never materialized.

I slowly opened my eyes to take in the sight of Edward struggling against the group of attackers. His mind reading made him an efficient fighter and he was able to dodge many of the blows directed at him. Unfortunately, the sheer numbers made it an impossible battle, and eventually the newborns began to land hits on him. Within seconds, he was on the ground, covered by a mass of enraged vampires. I heard the sick sounds of Edward's hard flesh being torn, but it was soon drowned out by his screams.

Turning away, I realized I should be attempting to put some distance between myself and the carnage. I knew that running away was futile, but the vampires were currently ignoring me, so I decided to take a chance and move.

As silently as possible, I stood and backed away from the horrific scene in front of me. None of the attackers made any note of my movement, and I began to feel a shred of hope that escape was possible. That hope died the instant I felt cold hard fingers gripping my injured shoulder.

"Hello, Bella," a sultry voice purred as the pressure on my shoulder increased, eventually forcing a whimper from me. "You weren't going to leave just as things are getting interesting, were you? I've been looking for you for so long. You can't leave before we have a chance to catch up."

"Fuck you, Vicky," I spat out, dropping to the ground when she abruptly released me. Looking up, I realized that Edward had succumbed to the attackers and was now lying motionless ahead of me. Idly, I wondered if he was dead, but then I decided I didn't really care.

"Thanks for nothing, Edward," I muttered. "For two years, I managed to avoid this bitch. Two days back into my life and you deliver me right to her." He moaned in response, and I smiled grimly to myself. "I wish I hadn't told Jasper not to kill you. Otherwise, I could at least die knowing he would avenge me by killing your sorry ass."

Not allowing myself to think any more of Jasper and the pain my death would cause him, I turned around and looked up at Victoria towering over me. Her fiery red hair was a tangled mess and her crimson eyes gleamed even in the dim evening light. This was the moment I feared since running from Forks. But, there was no way on earth I would allow this psychotic vampire bitch the power to make me cower. Memories of my parents gave me courage even in the face of my death, and I resolved not to give her the satisfaction of my fear.

Struggling to my feet, I smirked up at her. "Ready to do this shit?" I asked sarcastically. She stared back at me, her eyes eerily flat and devoid of emotion.

"Shut up, you foolish little girl," she said coldly. "You've led me on an interesting chase. I suppose I should thank you for keeping me occupied for so long," she mused, a contemplative look crossing her face. She froze as only a vampire can, apparently lost in a memory. I considered making a smart comment, but decided that even though I had no hope for my survival, I wouldn't try to hasten my inevitable death.

Eventually, she shrugged her shoulders and looked at me again. "However, the chase is over," she continued as if she had never paused. "I've finally got you where I want you, and now I can erase you from this earth, just as I did your pathetic family. Once I end you and your lover boy, James will finally be avenged."

She stalked over to stand over Edward, smiling as he began to moan again. "What's wrong?" she asked sweetly. "Don't like my thoughts, Mind Reader? You don't want to see how I'm planning to rip your little human pet in two? Maybe you'll enjoy it more in reality than you do in my head."

She lunged at me as the words left her mouth. My human mind didn't even have time to process her movement, although I did faintly register that Edward was screaming loudly in the background. I felt an explosion of pain in my ribs as Victoria hit me, robbing me of breath. Before I could respond, my injured shoulder popped out of the socket as Victoria grabbed it and tossed me across the clearing.

My ears roared and I drew a desperate breath, forcing myself not to scream at the pain in my chest. She picked me up again, kneeing me viciously in the abdomen before throwing me against a nearby tree. I lost track of how she was hurting me as the pain from my injuries blurred into one white hot sensation.

I heard Edward continuing to scream, but I resolved not to make a sound. She could kill me, but she couldn't break me, and I was going to die on my own terms. Victoria threw me yet again, and I felt the rushing air against my skin before I hit the tree trunk, striking the left side of my chest and the back of my head.

Immediately, I realized that something important had broken inside me. I could feel my heart beating violently, the rhythm irregular. My eyes were open, but I could only see what was directly in front of me. Everything in the periphery was a foggy grey. Aware that I was fading, I finally allowed myself to think of Jasper.

As the world around me grew even darker, I focused on how thankful I was to have had the time we shared together. He had brought me such joy, and whatever my afterlife would entail, I hoped that my soul would remember his. My only regret was the suffering that my loss would inflict on him. Hopefully, Peter and Char would be strong enough to bring him through this.

I tried to inhale, but it didn't work. There were faint voices around me, but I couldn't identify any of them around the roaring in my ears. I realized Victoria's attack had stopped, and I wondered what was preventing her from finishing me off.

Suddenly, I felt cold hard hands moving gently over my body, the contrast marked from Victoria's brutal grip. Peace washed over me, dulling the worst of the pain, and I smiled as Jasper's face filled my field of vision. His eyes were tormented, and I wished that I could reach up to comfort him. His lips moved, but I couldn't hear the words he was speaking.

Even his beautiful face was now growing dim, and I struggled in vain to draw enough breath to tell him the million things I wanted to say. "Love… you… forever," I managed to whisper, as I drifted out of consciousness. Peace spread over me, my pain faded, and the world went dark.

Unexpectedly, I heard Jasper's voice speaking rapidly, and then I felt a sharp pain at my neck. I stiffened against the sensation, moaning weakly when it began to burn violently. Moments later, I felt the same burning pain at each of my wrists. Finally, my injury dulled brain processed the fact that Jasper had bitten me, initiating my burning transition into a vampire.

I struggled for breath to scream as the burning overwhelmed me, quickly obliterating the pain from my injuries. Every muscle tensed, and my body went rigid against my will. I felt my body being picked up and moved, but I was unable to tell who held me. There were voices all around me, but the burning made it impossible to focus on the words being spoken.

I lost track of time and my surroundings as the fire washed over me. Eventually, I realized that I could hear only one voice now. I felt dampness against my skin, as if someone was washing me, but the sensation had no effect on the fire inside me.

I struggled for a focal point, but the burning consumed me, obliterating all other thoughts and sensations. I was unable to determine if I was screaming aloud or only in my mind. My resistance faltered, and I felt as if I was losing myself in the pain.

Suddenly, a soft voice broke through the barrier of my suffering. In honeyed tones, the voice whispered soothing words to me, helping to regain my self-awareness, even though the pain remained violent. I couldn't pick out exact words, but I knew the voice was speaking words of comfort.

I held on to that voice, using it to hold onto my sanity while I burned alive. Time lost all meaning, and I was unable to determine if seconds or hours were passing. All the while, the voice continued on, telling me of memories and plans, although I was still unable to process the words.

Suddenly, the pain changed, focusing directly in the center of my chest. My heart beat frantically against the sensation, struggling in vain to keep doing the job it was designed for. I screamed soundlessly, unable to contain the feeling that I was exploding. And then, stillness and silence, as my heart beat no more.

The fire began to recede slowly from my limbs, and I cautiously opened my eyes, afraid that the pain would return. I gasped, almost choking at the unnecessary air in my lungs as I took in the sight of Jasper's angelic face for the first time through my vampire eyes.

**AN- alright my people, it's NOT a cliffy, so I want some big love **

**MM- I'm totally your girl. I'm doing my cheerleader impression for your big day Monday, and I forgot to wear panties under that cute little skirt! **

**Remember, starting November 1****st****, go to http:/fandomforpreemies (dot) blogspot (dot) com and make a donation of 5 dollars or more to receive the compilation that includes my hot tub outtake! The money goes to the March of Dimes, an organization dedicated to healthy babies. They fund the research that made the care my own precious preemies received routine. Help make this fundraiser a success and enjoy the works of over 95 writers! **

**My** **Rec for the week- Life Happens, So Just Roll With It by mama4dukes. Her Bella is just hits me in all the right spots, lol! You will laugh, and you will laugh hard. You will also shout "Hell Yeah" about a million times! Seriously, check it out- it's a totally unique take on the Cullen family!**

**Team Malcolm, I missed you all! We'll reunite next chapter, girls!**

**Love you all, and Happy Halloween!**

**heavy**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty-nine

**Thank you mynxi, for doing what you do, to make this pretty! I'm so sorry I couldn't reciprocate this week **

**Thank you team Malcolm. NewTownGirl was kind enough to translate, and Pyejammies (and her handsome Scottish hubby, John) and cheedo28 pre-read for me. As usual, I made changes where it was necessary for clarity, so any inaccuracies are my own fault. **

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer, which means I don't own it. I do, however, apparently own mama4dukes' ass! Yay! Any suggestions on what to do with it now?**

**JPOV**

My feet literally flew as I ran, every cell in my body focused on following Bella's scent through the woods. Edward's path was random, and it appeared that he had no clear destination in mind. I began to get distracted by thoughts of how I would make him pay for taking Bella against her will, but Peter's voice drew me back to reality.

"Where the fuck does he think he's taking her?" he muttered angrily. I felt the rage he was feeling because of the way Edward had taken Bella right out of his arms. Peter's protective feelings toward Bella rivaled my own, and the fact that she was taken on his watch didn't sit well with him.

"We're getting closer," I said softly. "Her scent is getting stronger."

"If he had just shown his bronze head two minutes later, we could have taken him," Peter continued under his breath. "Gonna make that fucker pay for walkin' into my backyard and taking my Little Bird while I was too busy kickin' ass to do anything about it."

"Focus, Sugar," Char chided gently. "You can school him good _after_ we get our girl back, safe and sound."

I overheard Rosalie and Emmett talking as they ran. Emmett was furious that Edward had put Bella at risk in the middle of a vampire attack, while Rose was more upset that he had taken her against her will. Given Rose's history, she and Emmett were both very sensitive to violence against women, and Edward would have his work cut out for him, if he wanted to talk his way out of their wrath.

I struggled to control my response to the emotions around me. My own fear and anger was being compounded by everyone else's. All of this turmoil was due to Edward's impulsive action, and I was determined that he would never have the ability to upset Bella again.

The scent trail finally intersected a small path, allowing us to close ranks and run together. I picked up several strong vampire scents, and fear formed a leaden weight inside me.

"Shit, at least ten more," Peter hissed beside me. My head buzzed, trying to process the implications of this development. To this point, my focus had been on recovering Bella safe and sound and I hadn't wasted time guessing at who was behind the attack. However, thirty aggressive vampires, all targeting Bella, added up to someone waging war. That fact narrowed down the potential candidates, and led me to believe we were dealing with…

"Victoria," Emmett whispered suddenly. For a moment, I thought he was channeling Edward's mind reading ability, but then her scent crossed my own nose.

"Damn it, what is he thinking?" Rosalie hissed. "Running off alone with Victoria around?"

"Unbelievable," I muttered. "Bella avoided Victoria for almost two years on her own, and now Edward's gonna hand her right over to the bitch."

My feet moved impossibly faster, driven by the need to get Bella out of Victoria's vengeful hands. The sound of colliding vampire flesh began to echo through the night, followed closely by Edward's pathetic screams.

"Not far now," Peter said tersely. Bella's scent grew even stronger, almost pulling me forward. Finally, I exploded into a small clearing, just in time to see Bella's limp body being thrown viciously into a tree trunk. Her head made a dull sound as it glanced off the tree, but the sound her ribs made as they fractured was even worse.

Victoria laughed as she walked toward Bella, completely unaware of our arrival. Taking advantage of her distraction, I leaped forward, grabbing her mid step and whipping her over my head. I rushed toward Bella, certain that Peter would take care of Victoria. I vaguely registered the others facing off with the group of newborns, but most of my attention was on the heart beat of the woman in front of me.

I crouched over her, quickly running my hands over her in search of additional injuries. Her heart rate was impossibly fast and her lungs made a wet sound with every breath. Her skin was sickly grey and her eyes were glassy. I called her name several times, but she made no response, just staring straight ahead.

I leaned forward into her line of sight, relieved when her eyes lit up a little in recognition. Her heart stuttered and I could hear the rhythm faltering. "Hang on, Baby," I whispered urgently, praying that Carlisle wasn't far behind us. The sound of her heart beat grew muffled, and I felt true fear as I looked down into the eyes I loved so much.

"Hang on, Bella," I ordered. A tiny smile crossed her lips, and she slowly whispered, "Love… you… forever," before her eyelids fluttered and drifted shut. I felt the air moving behind me as Carlisle rushed toward us, coming to a graceful stop at my side.

I slid quickly out of the way, allowing him to get to work. "What's wrong with her heart?" I whispered. "I can hear that it's not beating right."

Carlisle looked up at me, his expression grim. "Cardiac tamponade. The sack around her heart is filled with blood, preventing it from pumping correctly. She also has multiple fractured ribs, a punctured lung, and a probable head injury."

"Can she survive it?" I demanded, certain that I already knew the answer.

"No, Jasper," Carlisle answered sadly. "She has minutes, not hours. She wouldn't even survive the trip to the hospital at this point, even if you ran like the wind." His words confirmed my fears, and I began to prepare myself for what I would have to do next.

"No!" Emmett shouted from across the clearing where he was pummeling one of the newborns. "Don't let her die, Jasper!"

"Jasper, you know what she would want," Peter said quietly. "Do what you have to do, Brother."

Carlisle looked at me, his eyes searching mine. "Are you able to change her, Jasper? If there's any question of your control?" he paused, "I can do it for you."

I could feel his sincere desire to help, but his words prompted an involuntary low growl from me. "No one will touch her but me," I snarled, gratified when he slid quickly out of my way. Part of me regretted the aggressive response to his genuine offer, but I quashed that sentiment. I could apologize later. Bella needed me now.

The sound of her heart grew even fainter, and I leaned over her tiny body. Brushing a lock of hair out of her eyes, I put my face next to hers. "I'm so sorry, Sweetheart," I whispered into her ear. "This isn't the way I wanted to do this, but I have to keep you safe. I will love you forever," I sighed, using her earlier words.

She remained unresponsive as I gently lifted her, baring her pale neck. Closing my eyes, I brought my mouth to her fragile skin, shocked at how faint her normally vital pulse was. Worried that her heart would grow too weak to adequately pump the venom, I quickly targeted her jugular vein and bit firmly down, pushing as much venom as I could into the bite. Her sweet blood rushed over my tongue, but the knowledge that this blood was Bella's made the taste abhorrent to me. Allowing the blood to run out of my mouth, I kept my mouth on the wound for a few more seconds to allow the venom to penetrate as deeply as possible.

She moaned weakly, and I felt hopeful that my venom was making its way through her veins. I removed my mouth from her neck, spitting a mouthful of blood to the side. Gently laying her back down, I brought one of her wrists to my mouth, piercing her soft flesh with my teeth and pushing more venom into her vein.

I repeated the process on her other arm, pressing a kiss over the wound once I was satisfied that I had injected enough venom into her to prevent her death and ensure that her transition would begin. I leaned over to spit out the last of Bella's blood, desperately wishing for something to rinse the taste out of my mouth.

Bella stiffened violently as the pain began to register in her nervous system. Gently lifting her into my arms, I stood up and looked up at the others. The newborns were all dispatched and their remains were already smoldering. Peter and Charlotte stood nearby, Peter's arms holding Char tight against his body.

"She'll be fine now, Jasper," Peter said softly, nodding sadly at me. Rose, Emmett, and Esme stood across the clearing, watching Carlisle examine Edward. He was basically in pieces, but I didn't derive any satisfaction from the pain I was picking up from him.

"I need to get Bella settled somewhere," I said curtly. "Carlisle, I'd prefer to use your house because it's more isolated."

"Of course, Jasper," Carlisle answered quickly. "Whatever you need, to make her as comfortable as possible."

"What I need is your guarantee that the piece of shit you're trying to reassemble will be _nowhere_ near me or Bella while we're there. He's done enough damage to her. I'm not allowing him to make her transformation and awakening anymore stressful than it already will be."

I felt Esme's sadness at my words, but she and Carlisle both nodded their acceptance. "We'll take him to Rose and Emmett's little house," Carlisle assured me. "One of us will stay with him at all times. He probably won't feel like moving around much for a few days anyway; he's really in bad shape."

"No more than he deserves," I muttered, before turning and walking out of the clearing, Bella's tiny body in my arms. Her limbs were twitching sporadically and she began to moan weakly. I noticed Peter and Charlotte following me and felt thankful for their presence. "Victoria?" I asked aloud, aware that I hadn't seen her remains in the clearing.

"Slipped away in the middle of the fight," Peter answered angrily. "She's a tricky little thing, that one. It's like she has a talent for getting out of situations where she should be cornered."

I felt his anger and frustration over Victoria's escape, but I was surprised at my own lack of emotion at the news. My whole focus was on taking care of Bella at the moment. Dealing with Victoria and Edward would have to wait for another day.

Bella began to writhe in earnest and her moans turned into screams. Eager to get us out of earshot of any human residences, I picked up the pace. Her screams grew louder, and I was forced to use my hand over her mouth to muffle the sound. She struggled against my hand, and I felt disgusted that I had to restrain her in any way.

"She doesn't know what you're doin'," Peter said soothingly, "and if she knew, she'd understand. We're almost there anyway, so stop beatin' yourself up for doing what you have to do."

Nodding grimly, I kept walking, thankful when I finally spied the Cullen house ahead of us. We entered through the back door, and I carried Bella up to the room we had used the last time we stayed here, relieved when I was able to take my hand from her mouth.

"Here, Sugar. Lie her down on this until we get the dirt cleaned off of her," Char suggested, spreading a clean sheet over the bed. I sent her a shot of gratitude as I complied. She left the room, returning moments later with a basin of hot water and towels. "While you get her cleaned up, Peter and I are gonna run over to the cabin and grab some of her clothes. Might make her feel better to wake up in her own stuff."

"Thank you, Char," I said sincerely. The door closed softly behind her, and I got to work getting Bella's ruined clothes off before gently washing the dirt and blood off of her. She continued writhing in agony, tossing her head and screaming loudly at random intervals. I wasn't picking up her emotions, but I pushed some love and calm toward her in the hopes that it would offer her some comfort as she suffered. Her screams faded into keening moans, and I hoped that my efforts were helping her.

I continued cleaning her, taking care to remove every smudge of dirt that marred her skin. Her body still wore the bruises from her assault, but I could already see signs that they were fading as her tissue began to harden.

I flinched as I picked up a sharp flash of panic coming from Bella. Immediately, I put my hands on her, running them over her arms and legs while I whispered soothing words into her ears. Her fear disappeared behind her shield, but I continued touching her in hopes that our peace was easing her pain.

I heard Charlotte's footsteps approaching, so I looked up as the door opened. She walked over to the bed and pressed a soft kiss to Bella's forehead before efficiently helping me to get her dressed in a soft t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants. I gently lifted her so that Char could remove the now soiled sheet from underneath her, and we got her settled into the soft, clean bedding.

We both looked up when Peter walked into the room. He mimicked Charlotte's kiss to Bella's forehead before squeezing my shoulder in sympathy. "Char and I are gonna head on out for a hunt," he said softly. "We'll be back before she wakes up and you need us," he assured me.

"Sounds good," I answered. "No point in you guys sitting around counting the seconds too."

Char gave me a fierce hug, her tiny arms wrapping tightly around mine. "You call us if you need us to come sooner," she ordered. "If it gets to be too much for you, you call, and we'll come."

"Thanks," I replied, as she stepped away. "I'll be fine though."

"Yep, you will," Peter said with a smirk, as they walked out, closing the door behind them. Sighing, I slid under the covers and wrapped myself around Bella. She started violently, but she calmed quickly as I tucked her into her usual spot under my chin. I had no idea if she could feel what I was doing, but even if she couldn't, I could at least derive some comfort from holding her.

Closing my eyes, I listened to her heart beat, allowing myself to lose track of time as I focused on the thought of Bella changing into a strong vampire. She remained relatively quiet and calm, although her muscles still twitched sporadically and she ground her teeth frequently. Whispering soothing words, I ran my fingers through her hair and waited.

The afternoon sun was shining through the window when I heard Emmett's heavy footsteps approaching the door. He called my name and knocked quietly before cracking the door open.

"Come on in," I answered quietly, gently repositioning Bella as I sat up beside her.

Emmett looked down at her, his kind amber eyes somber. His emotions were a mix of anger, sadness and excitement, and I waited patiently for him to speak.

"Just wanted to see how you were holding up," he began hesitantly. "I imagine it's pretty rough for you to watch her suffer like this. Rosalie has tried to describe it to me a couple of times, but I don't think I'll ever really understand, since I'll never have to watch her go through it."

"Thanks, Emmett," I said sincerely, touched that he felt the need to check on me. "I'm doing okay. It's as horrible as you can imagine, but I'm trying to focus on the end result."

"That's good," he said awkwardly, and I felt his anger peaking. "I can't believe Edward was stupid enough to run off with her…"

"I know, Emmett, but I don't want to waste my time thinking about him right now. I promise, he _will_ be dealt with, but right now, I'm just thinking about Bella."

"Sorry, Jasper. I didn't mean to come in here and rile you up," he said sheepishly. "Just make sure you don't leave me out when you take care of Edward. That's my little sister, and I want in when you guys make him pay for hurting her."

I smiled as I answered, "Of course we won't leave you out Emmett. The line to kick Edward's ass is getting kind of long though. We might need to make a schedule."

Emmett chuckled at my joke, and I enjoyed the simple, wholesome feeling of Emmett's good humor. "I'll go start a spreadsheet," he quipped as he walked toward the door. "I'll get out of your way now. Let me know if you need anything, but otherwise Rose and I will see you after Bells wakes up."

I nodded in farewell, and he walked out, closing the door behind him. I looked down at Bella, rubbing my fingers over her tense facial muscles. I was beginning to see more physical signs of her transformation. Her hair was becoming thicker and more lustrous, and her skin was becoming more flawlessly uniform.

I heard a different set of footsteps approaching, and I felt Carlisle's regret and apprehension before he stepped in the door. "Can I come in?" he asked quietly.

"Sure," I responded immediately. He stepped in the room, and I felt the conflict he was still feeling about Edward. He apologized for Edward's actions, and I accepted freely, assuring him that I didn't hold him responsible. I did explain that Bella's need for me was the only thing holding me back from drawing on my century of terror to make Edward pay for hurting her.

Radiating regret, Carlisle told me that he understood and wouldn't stand in my way when the time came for Edward to own up for his actions. However, his sincere love and faith in Edward was evident when he respectfully requested that I allow Edward to live.

"There is so much good inside him, Jasper," he said earnestly. "Please give him the chance to fulfill that potential."

Reluctant to have any more death on my hands, I agreed, smiling as I thought about the fact that Peter wasn't present for this little agreement and would therefore be unrestricted in his actions against Edward.

Carlisle examined Bella briefly, confirming my assessment that everything was going as it should. He left quietly, assuring me that he or Esme would be with Edward at all times until Bella and I were out of the house.

I settled in around Bella again, noticing even more changes. Her flesh was no longer humanly soft and her temperature was cooling. Her figure was becoming more balanced, filling out in the places where she was previously a touch on the skinny side. Despite the changes, I could still easily see the fierce little waitress who stood up to the drunken asshole at the bar, all those months ago.

Yet another set of footsteps approached the room, but I was surprised when I picked up Malcolm's scent at the door. I couldn't imagine what the enigmatic Scot wanted to say to me right now.

"Can Ay come in?" he asked deferentially.

"Who's watching Alice?" I demanded anxiously. Bella was transforming by the second, but as of now, she remained fragile and easily damaged. I was uncomfortable with the idea of Alice being able to reach Bella until after she was awake and able to defend herself.

"Alice is nae threat tae yer Bella, Young Warrior," Malcolm answered calmly. "Bonnie Rosalie is sittin' wi' her while Ay take a break, but she shows nae sign o' becomin' active." He looked down at Bella, and I felt the concern he was feeling for Alice. "I jus' wish I ken what impact this will have on what I want ter do fer Alice," he sighed, radiating a touch of frustration.

I grinned wryly at his total focus on his mate, despite the fact that mine was suffering through the burn in front of him. Looking up, he met my eyes and smiled apologetically. "A'm sorry," he began. "I dinnae mean tae ignore the fact that yer lass is hurtin'. After all these years on my own, A'm finding it difficult ter adjust ter caring fer somewan again."

"I understand, Malcolm," I answered honestly. "Can't say I would feel differently if our places were reversed. For what it's worth, I hope whatever you want to do will still work."

"All we can do is wait an' see," he replied evenly. He glanced down at Bella again before looking back at me. A wide smile crossed his face as he turned to walk out the door. "She will be magnificent."

I smiled back at him briefly, but I looked down at her while I replied, "She always has been."

Suddenly, Bella began to twist and thrash violently, her breaths wheezing as the air was forced between her grinding teeth. She began to moan again, and I clenched my hands against the desire to destroy the room around me, looking for an outlet for the helplessness I was feeling.

I hated the fact that she was suffering, but I forced myself to focus on the fact that at the end of her change, she would be an immortal, ready to face eternity by my side. Taking both her hands in mine, I placed them against my face, visualizing tranquility and love pouring directly from me into her.

Immediately, she stopped failing around on the bed, but her muscles were still tense and rigid. Desperate to do _anything_ to comfort her, I began talking to her. I started by describing the night I discovered her in that seedy bar in Manhattan. Whispering into her ear, I reminded her of the beginnings of our friendship and the little steps that led us toward more with each other.

Her muscles gradually relaxed, although her jaw remained clenched. Hopeful that I was reaching her, even through the pain of the burn, I kept talking. Losing track of time, I described every moment we spent with each other, putting my perfect memory to good use.

When I exhausted our story, I started on the memories of her childhood that she had shared with me when I gave her the box of mementos. I noticed the light changing yet again, but still I kept talking, moving on to the ways I wanted to spend our future together. Time passed, and I hoped that my words about our past, present and future were acting as an anchor to her in the middle of her pain.

Suddenly, she began thrashing wildly again, and I listened to her heart begin to stutter. The irregular beats began to slow and she writhed as her body struggled to accept this final change. Gently, I sat up and moved to the side of the bed, keeping her hand loosely in mine. Waking up as a vampire is extremely disorienting, and I wanted to leave her plenty of space so she wouldn't feel intimidated.

Her faltering heart finally pumped its last, and her body seized violently one more time before falling limp against the sheets. I held my breath and waited for her to open her eyes, watching anxiously as her silken lashes fluttered.

Ever so slowly, she opened her eyes, revealing the startling crimson color, and I cautiously leaned forward so that she could see my face, pushing all of my love and assurance toward her. She gasped and sat up quickly, and I instinctively moved back to give her space. Her red eyes gleamed against her flawless porcelain skin, and I whispered her name, thankful for the fact that she was awake and looking at me.

She looked shocked at the speed of her movement, but I wasn't picking up any emotion from her, so I remained still, a gentle smile on my face. "It's okay, Sweetheart," I said quietly. Newborns were usually hyper-sensitive to sounds and sights as they became accustomed to their bodies' new abilities.

"I know everything feels very strange right now, but everything is okay. I'm here with you, and you're okay."

She stared at me, her expression hesitant, before a smile eventually started to cross her lips.

"Jasper," she whispered, leaning forward and reaching toward me with her free arm. I began to pull her into my arms, but I was interrupted by the sound of a door breaking downstairs. Bella stiffened and pulled away from me, her face a mask of panic.

Before I even had time to wonder what was causing the chaos, the door to our room flew off its hinges as Edward knocked it down and ran in. Peter and Emmett chased him into the room, followed closely by Charlotte and Carlisle. I jumped to my feet to block him, but he dodged me, his attention never leaving Bella. He zipped past me, but I was able to grab his leg at the last second, causing him to lose his balance.

"Bella!" he screamed, falling toward her with his arms outstretched.

"Stay away from me!" she screamed, loud enough to make me wince. "What will it take to make you leave me alone?"

Unable to stop his momentum, Edward continued to fall toward her. I did my best to pull him back, but I wasn't quick enough. She swung out with her right hand, cleanly decapitating him before viciously throwing his head into the corner, leaving an ugly crater in the drywall.

I felt the shocked horror of the others as they stared at Bella, who was panting frantically and backing away from all of us.

"Sweetheart, it's okay," I murmured rapidly, realizing that I was losing her to her fear as the seconds passed. She didn't react to my voice, her attention locked on the others as they stared at her.

"Let's everybody back up a little and give Bella some room," Peter suggested, his casual tone at odds with the tension I was picking up from him.

"Stay with me, Bella. Everything is okay," I repeated, as Emmett slowly began to back up. Unfortunately, at the first sign of movement, Bella reacted like a scared deer. Springing across the room, she dove through the window head first. Closing my eyes for a moment in disbelief, I listened to the sound of her running frantically away from the house.

"Well, shit," Peter sighed, giving me an apologetic look.

"Jasper, she could run into a human very easily," Carlisle said urgently, his emotions alternating between concern for Bella and horror over Edward's condition.

My feet were already headed to follow her out the window, but Peter's touch stopped me momentarily. "She'll be fine," he assured me. "She's headed away from the other houses. You'll catch her before she does anything she'll regret."

Nodding my thanks, I jumped out the window and followed her new scent. I ran my fastest, knowing I would be challenged to keep up with her newborn speed. Her scent grew stronger and I began to slow my pace. I heard the others behind me, and I became worried that they would scare Bella into running again. "She's just ahead. You guys head on back and take care of Edward," I ordered. "I don't want her to feel overwhelmed. She's been through enough."

"Sure thing, Jasper," Peter called out, letting me know he would make sure we were left in peace.

Slowing to a walk, I spotted Bella not far ahead of me. I looked down at the ground as I moved forward, assuming a non-threatening posture. She was crouched in front of a large boulder in a defensive posture, her eyes frantically searching for the best escape route.

"Bella, it's just me, Sweetheart. No one else is here, just me. I know you're scared, but you're safe now. No one is gonna hurt you, Baby."

Her red eyes bored into mine, and I could see her struggling to resolve her instinct to run with her desire to trust me. I continued moving forward until I was less than ten feet from her. She was literally vibrating with tension, still debating whether to stay or run.

"I'm not here to chase you, Sweets. I know this is one clusterfuck of a way to wake up to being a vampire, but I promise, no one else is gonna mess with you."

Suddenly, I was hit with a flood of her emotions. Fear, rage, confusion, and thirst all battled for dominance, and she knelt to the ground with her head in her hands.

"What's wrong with me?" she asked desperately, looking at me with lost red eyes.

Continuing to inch my way closer to her, I smiled reassuringly. "Nothing's wrong with you, Bella. This is all normal. You're just learning to process a lot of different information all at once. It's very overwhelming, even without all the other drama. You're running on instinct right now, and you're also very thirsty."

As I came within a few feet of her, I crouched down to her level, projecting love and calm as strongly as I could. I slowly reached one hand out to her, hoping she would reciprocate. She shifted her gaze back and forth between my hand and my face, her indecision clear. Sadly accepting that she wasn't able to trust me enough yet to touch me, I began to lower my hand.

Unprepared for the movement, I was surprised when she quickly shot her hand out to touch mine. Apparently, the speed was a surprise to her as well, because she jumped when we made contact. I quickly folded my fingers around hers and our beautiful peace washed over me. Smiling, I watched Bella's face relax from its tense expression to one of recognition.

"Oh Jasper, I was so scared," she whispered fervently, just before launching herself into my arms.

"I have you, Baby," I murmured into her hair, running my hands gently over her torso and arms. "I have you. You're safe."

"I'm so sorry I ran," she said softly. "I was scared and I didn't know what to do. I knew you wouldn't hurt me, but I just couldn't stop myself from running."

"Don't apologize, Bella," I ordered gently. "It's normal to feel out of control and scared, and Fuckward didn't help matters any by invading your space like that. You have nothing to be sorry for."

Shifting her into my lap, I rocked her back and forth, smiling when I realized she was rubbing her face against my chest, instinctively marking me with her scent. Wrapped up in the sensation of finally holding the woman I loved in my arms again, I lost track of time.

Eventually, her body relaxed completely into mine, and she began moving her hands over my body, clearly amazed at the different sensation of touching me as a vampire. Her emotions were calm, although her thirst was rapidly increasing and I knew I would need to convince her to hunt soon.

She spent several minutes playing with my hair, causing me to rumble in contentment. The sound made her look up at me, and finally I was rewarded with her smile. I stared down at her perfect face, altered slightly by the change, but still my Bella. I smiled back at her, as we moved closer to each other, until, at last our lips met.

I was unprepared for the rush I experienced with the kiss. I noticed the absence of her human heat, but she still felt soft and pliant as my tongue invaded her mouth. Passion rushed through me, and I crushed her body against mine, reveling in the fact that I no longer had to moderate my movements for fear of injuring her.

She met me thrust for thrust, grinding herself against my now straining erection, and before I knew it, we were rolling on the ground. The realization forced me to turn my brain back on, and I gently began to ease away from her. Her eyes clouded with confusion and irritation, and I smiled gently before she could question me.

"We _will _continue this, Sweetheart. I promise," I teased, kissing her nose gently as she continued to attempt to rub her body against mine. "But first, we need to take you hunting."

She pouted, and I could see her trying to control the current of anger she was feeling at my cockblocking. Standing up, I offered her my hand, gratified when she accepted. "You'll feel much better after you hunt," I promised. "Much less distracted and able to focus."

"Fine," she grumbled, flashing a little smile of resignation. "I'd rather focus on your dick, but if you insist on eating, I'll do it your way."

My dick twitched at her words, but I forced myself to stay under control as I led her out of the clearing and onto the game trail. Within minutes, I had picked up the scents of several deer. I heard Bella gasp as she also identified the scent, causing her thirst to spike.

"Ready to see how it's done?" I asked, smiling at her intense expression.

Her eyebrow shot up at my smile, and she smirked back at me. "Game on," she whispered, taking off like a shot on the trail of the deer. Laughing, I chased after her. Apparently, she needed no instruction in chasing game, but I was damned if I was going to miss the sight of her taking down her first kill.

**AN- Sorry for the slight delay. One of my girls has been really sick, and she needed some extra TLC. **

**MM-I'm so sorry I failed you. On my knees, waiting your pleasure for my punishment. **

**Don't forget, if you want to know what happened between Bella and Jasper in the hot tub over their long weekend in New York, head on over to the Fandom for Preemies site (link on my profile) and make a donation of 5 dollars or more to receive an entire compilation of one shots and outtakes! Thanks so much to those who have already contributed! Glad you liked it! **

**Thank you all for reading!**

**Love,**

**heavy**


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer. Peter as an intuitive southerner is the idea of IDreamofEddy.**

**Thank you mynxi, for being my beta and keeping me sane through sickness and travel! Thank you for putting up with my pirate talk, AKA "me ear-ARRRRR" as well as my "blonde lemons"!**

**Thank you team Malcolm for the help with the Scottish. NewTownGirl translated and chedoo28 pre-read. (I slammed it on Pyejammies too late at the last minute, so I missed out on her valuable feedback ****) All three of you gals have been fantastic- thanks for helping me bring Malcolm to life!**

**Thanks to VegaTenshi and kjgrubbs for the inspirational reviews they've left over the last few chapters! **

**BPOV**

I smiled at the feeling of the wind in my face as I ran through the forest, quickly closing in on the group of heart beats I was pursuing. My vampire senses were amazing and exhilarating. I could hear Jasper's steps not far behind me, the sound of the air in every single strand of my hair, even the beating wings of the crow flying about me. Somehow, my brain was processing all of this information and allowing me to track my prey, all at the same time.

It was all amazing, but the fire in my throat was beginning to drown out all the other input I was receiving. I needed blood, and nothing was going to stop me from getting it. Feeling invincible, I raced onward toward the siren call of beating hearts.

The swift heartbeats grew louder and I knew that I was closing in on my targets. Looking ahead, my eyes zeroed in on the small herd of deer fleeing for their lives in front of me. I was unable to control the smile that crossed my lips as I sprung forward, taking to the air and tackling a doe to the ground. Conscious thought was unnecessary; my instincts were in complete control, and I sank my teeth into the neck of the struggling animal.

The hot blood ran into my mouth, relieving the burn almost instantly. The taste was bland, but it quenched my thirst, so I sucked harder, eager for the relief. The doe stopped thrashing in my arms and I felt her heart beat begin to slow. Remotely, I registered the sounds of Jasper dropping his own kill just a little ahead of me.

Growling, I hunched over my kill as I drained the last drops of blood from the carcass. _Stop it,_ I ordered myself. _This is Jasper. He's not here to steal from you._ Thankfully, my mental pep talk was effective, and I felt myself relaxing, even as Jasper stood up and walked toward me after he finished draining his own kill.

He sat down just out of arms reach and smiled at me.

"What?" I asked, taking in how beautiful he was to my now-perfect sight. His scars were much clearer to me now, but they didn't repulse or frighten me. Instead, they made me feel proud and protected, as well as desperately turned on.

"Just taking in the view. You're beautiful to watch," he said softly. "I'm so relieved that you're okay, Bella. You're perfect, and strong, and here with me forever… and I'm just so grateful. How do you feel now that you've hunted?"

Moving onto my hands and knees, I sinuously crawled toward him, licking the last remnants of blood from my lips. "I feel wonderful," I purred, as I reached him. "Much less distracted, and completely able to focus on your dick," I continued, stretching my body up so that I could touch my lips to his.

Our lips met, and I was startled at how soft his flesh now felt to me. Cold marble no longer, now he just felt "normal" to my touch. Unprecedented lust washed over me when his tongue invaded my mouth, as if all of my new senses were now focused only on the pleasure of his touch. His kiss was fierce and forceful, almost burning me with his urgency.

Quickly, I pushed him to the ground, whipping my shirt overhead in a frantic rush to kiss him again. Both of his hands flew to my breasts, and I moaned into his mouth as he began teasing my nipples, gradually increasing the pressure of his touch until he was pinching them roughly. I began to throb deep inside, and I was unable to control the urge to rub my aching pussy against his abdomen.

Feeling the wetness of my arousal soaking through my yoga pants, he growled and flipped us over. My answering growl surprised me as I literally ripped the shirt off of him. Slipping his hand into my pants, he quickly plunged two fingers deep inside me, causing me to thrust against him involuntarily. He stared down at me, and the look on his face alone was almost enough to make me come.

His eyes were dark with passion and his face was free of the normal control he usually displayed during sex. Satisfied that I was ready for him, he tugged my pants off before opening his fly and lowering his jeans. Without saying a word, he rammed his dick into me, hard and fast, filling me perfectly. I screamed his name and looked up to see him smiling down at me.

His eyes grew even darker and his expression became more intense as he finally began to fuck me with abandon, pressing me into the ground with each hard thrust. My legs wrapped around his waist and I arched my back up to maximize the friction of his movements.

Leaning closer to me, he put his lips against my ear. "Mine forever," he purred softly, still pounding into me at a furious pace.

"Yours," I agreed, gasping for unnecessary air and feeling that wonderful pressure beginning to build deep in my center.

"Now come, Bella," he ordered, simultaneously pinching one nipple and rubbing my clit with one fingertip.

I screamed his name again as I came apart, the orgasm almost blinding in its intensity. I felt as if every nerve in my body was exploding in sympathy with my clit, and the pleasure continued to wash over me in waves.

Jasper's pace grew even faster and he chanted my name several times before I felt him tense as he reached his own orgasm inside me.

He leaned over me and pressed a soft kiss against my throat, where my pulse used to beat, before he relaxed and lay down on me. His weight was welcome, and I felt claimed, cherished, and protected all at once. We stayed there, still joined, for several endless moments before I finally reached down to run my fingers through his silken blonde hair.

"You've been holding out on me," I teased when he looked up at me.

His smile was as bright as a thousand suns, and he smirked boldly. "Not holdin' out, Baby Girl," he drawled. "Just waitin' till you could handle the real deal."

Despite the violence of my orgasm only minutes before, those words made me squirm with desire. I felt his dick twitch inside me, and smiled at the realization that I wasn't the only one thus affected.

I growled in disappointment when he smiled regretfully and gently pulled his dick out of my body. "As much as I want to stay here and do that a million times, we have a house full of people waiting on us," he reminded me gently.

I intended to push him lightly away from me, but I was blindsided by a sudden wave of irritation and frustration at having to return to the house, and I pushed harder than I realized. He flew through the air about ten feet before colliding with a small sapling, completely uprooting it from the ground.

In a flash, I was at his side, helping him up. "I'm so sorry," I gasped, suddenly panicking that I would make him angry enough to abandon me. "I didn't mean to…"

I was interrupted by his lips covering mine. "No apologies, Sweetheart," he ordered. "Newborn vampires experience lots of mood shifts. What you felt and did was completely normal. I'm not angry with you, and I will _never_ leave you, Bella."

He wrapped his arms around me, and I snuggled into his chest, marveling at how his skin felt against mine. I felt our special calm begin to envelope me, and I just stayed relaxed in his embrace as he slipped my clothes on for me. Unfortunately, as soon as his hands left me, my tension returned.

"Did I kill Edward?" I asked bluntly, unable to look him in the eyes as I waited for his answer.

"No, Sweetheart, you didn't kill him. To my knowledge, burning is the only thing we can't survive. Carlisle will be working on putting him back together. He'll be fine. At least, until Peter and Emmett get a hold of him," he amended with a smile.

"Will the others all hate me for hurting him?" I asked, my eyes stinging with tears that could never fall.

He brought his other hand up to cradle my face, just as he had so many times when I was human. "You don't worry about what they think," he ordered sternly. "Peter, Char, Emmett, and I all love you unconditionally, and we're just mad you beat us to the punch," he teased.

"I'd guess you've moved up in Rose's estimation by taking his head off," he continued. "And if any of the others have a problem with it, tough shit. They should have done a better job babysitting him- it's inexcusable that they let him get near you like that as you were waking up. So you don't worry about what they think on how you dealt with the mess they handed you."

I could feel the love and support he was sending me washing over me in waves, but my anxiety about seeing everyone remained. "Don't leave me," I pleaded, hating the desperation in my voice even though it truly reflected my feelings. "I just don't feel like I can be without you right now."

His smiled down at me, and I got lost for a moment in his beautiful amber eyes. "I will never leave you," he said softly yet firmly. "I'll be by your side the whole time, so let's go get this over with."

He stood and tugged me to my feet. Sighing, I forced myself to follow him, and together we ran back to the Cullen house. My head was spinning with anxiety about seeing everyone, but I knew I had to face this so that we could move on with our lives.

I was filled with gratitude when I caught sight of Peter and Charlotte waiting for us just off the Cullen property. Smiling quickly at Jasper, I slipped my hand from his to run into Peter's waiting arms, enjoying the feeling of his tight embrace.

"I'm so sorry, Bella Bird," he mumbled into my hair. "I'm so sorry I had to let that asshole take you from us…"

Unwilling to let him feel guilty for another minute, I interrupted him. "Peter, you had no choice," I said firmly. "If you had tried to fight Edward, the newborns would have killed you and Charlotte before taking me. The outcome would have been the same, only I would have lost you. You made the only decision you could, and I'm glad you did." I squeezed him back, laughing when he winced at my new strength.

Pressing a kiss to his cheek, I released him and stepped over to Charlotte. "How ya feelin', Sugar?" she asked, her red eyes twinkling as she wrapped me in a fierce hug. "You had me plenty worried," she admitted softly, as we stepped apart to look each other in the face.

"I feel ok," I sighed. "A little out of control, I guess. I feel like I can't keep track of everything my brain can do now. Does that make sense?"

She nodded sympathetically. "Yep, and it's all normal," she reassured me. "You're doin' real well for your first day. By the way, you're hotter 'n hell, Baby. Have ya seen yourself yet?"

Laughing, I shook my head negatively, but before I could answer, I heard footsteps approaching us. My head whipped toward the sound involuntarily, and I crouched down defensively as I assessed my options for escaping. Peter and Charlotte took a step away from me, each of them quickly assuring me that we weren't under any threat.

"It's just the Cullens, Birdie," Peter said softly. "They're not gonna hurt you, and Jasper's right behind you."

Their calm faces began to cut through my anxiety, and when I felt Jasper's hand gently touching the back of my neck, I was actually able to relax enough to stand up straight. I still felt very nervous, but I was able to control the urge to run away as I watched the Cullens slowly approach us.

"They feel nothing but love for you, Sweets," Jasper murmured, running his hand gently through my wind whipped hair.

Carlisle and Esme led the group, both smiling sadly as they stopped several feet away from us. Esme spoke first, her caramel eyes full of regret. "I'm so sorry about Edward, Bella," she began. "I was watching him when you awoke, and it's my fault he got to you the way he did. I just never expected that he would get physical with me, so I wasn't prepared when he pushed me. Once he got his head start, I couldn't catch him. I'm so sorry he frightened you, and I hope you can forgive me."

Carlisle wrapped his arms fondly around his wife before he spoke. "I'm sorry too, Bella. We both failed to comprehend the lengths Edward would go to in his obsession with you, and you suffered because of it."

"I didn't mean to hurt him," I choked out, feeling overwhelmed with the need to explain my actions. "I just wanted to get him away from me. I didn't realize…"

Carlisle began shaking his head, smiling kindly as he spoke. "Of course you didn't, Bella. Your reaction was completely normal for an awakening vampire. Edward was responsible for threatening you that way, and Esme and I were responsible for letting him get close to you. It wasn't your fault."

Jasper ran his hands up and down both of my arms, pushing calm and acceptance into me. "They're being completely sincere," he assured me. "No one blames you because you didn't do anything wrong."

Carlisle nodded his agreement. "We're going to head back to the house now. I give you my word that I won't leave Edward's side until you're ready to leave our home, Bella. Let me know if there's anything else I can do for you."

I whispered my thanks as they turned back toward the house, feeling saddened that their departure made me feel so much more relaxed.

"It's normal," Jasper said softly, before I could even ask him about my feelings.

"Can I come a little closer, Bells?" Emmett called out hopefully.

Smiling, I realized that nothing about Emmett felt threatening to me. I nodded at him and opened my arms, actually laughing when he rushed over and lifted me off my feet. "I'm so glad you're safe, Bells," he said earnestly, finally setting me back onto my feet. "I'm sorry you had such a shitty wake-up call, but Peter and I made sure Edward won't come near you again," he said, practically radiating grim satisfaction.

Jasper laughed behind me. "Did you guys remove a couple other body parts or something?" he asked through his chuckle.

Peter just smiled, but Emmett growled for a second before relaxing. "Nope, Carlisle got Edward all realigned so he can heal, but not before Peter and I got to spend a few quality minutes explaining what will happen if he so much as looks at Bella again."

Rosalie snorted from her position several yards away from me, and Charlotte laughed out loud.

"Do share," I remarked dryly. "What amazing threat did you make to get through his thick skull?"

"Well, Peter here went first and described, in detail, exactly how he once decapitated a vampire who pissed him off, just so he could fuse the guy's head to his ass." The mental image was too much for me, and I laughed out loud, startled by the sound of my altered voice.

"Wow, I'm impressed with your restraint, Peter," I managed to say after my giggles faded.

Peter chuckled with me before chiming in. "Aww, if you want me to rough him up a little more, I will Bella. I just thought you made your own point real well, so I let him off with a warnin' for next time he feels the urge to get frisky. After I was done, Emmett explained to him that if he gives Bella a hard time ever again, he and Rosalie are gonna rip off his balls. Then, they'll bedazzle them and hang 'em up in a window so they can sparkle in the sunshine!" I looked up to see Rose smiling smugly back at Peter.

"That's got my vote," I blurted out, shocked at Rose's enthusiasm for the idea of torturing Edward.

"I'm just glad you're okay, Bella," Rosalie said quietly, with a small nod in my direction.

"Thanks, Rosalie," I whispered back, giving her an uncertain smile.

"So what's next?" Emmett asked bluntly. "Where're you guys going from here? 'Cause I'm just guessing you guys aren't gonna hang here," he said with an easy smile.

I glanced at Jasper, completely at a loss for an answer, but still hating the helpless look I could feel on my face. I was an invincible vampire, but I felt completely paralyzed by a simple question.

"Normal, Baby," Jasper said, tugging me around to face him before he wrapped me in a hug. Tucking myself under his chin, I enjoyed the rumble of his voice as he answered Emmett. "We haven't figured it out yet," he admitted. "I think we'll head back to the house and get to work on finding a place to settle in while Bella gets acclimated."

We all filed across the yard and into the house. Noticing the draft coming from the upstairs, I was unable to repress my guilt for breaking the window.

"Stop it," Jasper ordered gently. "They'll have it replaced by tomorrow, and no one in this house will be bothered by the cold air. You have nothing to feel guilty about."

"He's right lass, it wasnae yer fault," Malcolm said softly in his warm brogue, as he stepped into the living area. "Edward should hae known better than tae approach ye like that. Jasper's also right tha' ev'rything yer feeling is normal. Yer magnificent, just as I knew ye'd be, and I promise things wae feel better soon."

I could feel his sincerity, even without assistance from Jasper, and again I felt the weird sting of tears that couldn't fall. "Thank you," I said fervently. "I seem to need to hear that about a hundred times a minute," I added with a weak laugh.

Malcolm smiled and glanced over my shoulder at Jasper before looking at me again. "It will pass," he said kindly. His expression turned hesitant and I became nervous again as I wondered what he was feeling so reluctant about. "I ken you've already had a very hard day," he began, "and I hate tae impose on ye even mer, but ma happiness is in yer hands."

I stared at him, confused beyond belief. Wondering how I had any control over the happiness of this strange vampire, I glanced up at Jasper. "Alice is Malcolm's mate," he explained gently. "And he thinks he can help her by using your shield."

"Her mate?" I repeated in amazement. "I don't understand," I admitted. "My shield?"

Jasper nodded as he answered, "Your ability to block both Edward's mind reading and my ability to feel and manipulate your emotions, is called a shield. Malcolm thinks that you might be able to help him bring Alice back."

The thought of helping Alice was exhilarating, but I had no idea how to proceed. "How do I use it?" I asked Malcolm. "It's not something I really consciously think about. Blocking Edward is effortless, and with my emotions, I don't deliberately block Jasper, I just try to keep my feelings tightly controlled. What do you need me to do?" I asked, realizing that I was speaking quickly in my anxiety.

Jasper's hand on my shoulder helped me to relax some, and Malcolm smiled gently at me as he slowly approached us. I was relieved that his movements didn't intimidate me, and I could see why Peter had immediately thought of him when I mentioned a vampire whisperer.

"Easy, Lass," he said soothingly. "Ma ability tae work wi' the minds o' vampires is very instinctual. I jus' think about what I want te do, and it either works or it doesnae. We'll each hold hands wi' Alice, and I'll try tae 'borrow' your shield when I need it. You dinnae have tae do anything but physically be thar."

His words brought some relief, but I still felt concerned that I would fail, letting all of those who cared about Alice down. Tired of feeling like a slave to my rampant emotions, I forced myself to think positive and squared my shoulders.

"Ok, let's go try it then," I said, hoping I sounded more confident than I felt.

"Good lass," Malcolm said, giving me the feeling that he understood how I was struggling with my feelings.

The three of us filed toward Alice's room, and I was glad we wouldn't have an audience. Clearly, the others had all heard our discussion, but they were giving us privacy for this attempt. When we stepped into the room, I was unable to control my gasp as I took in the appearance of my former friend.

Muddled human memories of Alice warred with the image of the woman in front of me. Gone were the stylish spikes, her hair now lay calmly against her head. Her eyes were closed as if she were sleeping, an eerie contrast to her normal effervescence.

"Oh, Alice," I whispered, following Malcolm to kneel beside her on the sofa she lay upon. I took one of her hands in mine, startled when her skin didn't feel icy and hard to me, as it had when I was human. Jasper followed me, standing behind me with his hands comfortingly on each of my shoulders. Malcolm and I joined hands wordlessly and I chewed my lip while I waited for instruction.

"Jus relax," the Scot ordered gently. "Ye may feel the touch o' ma mind, or ye may no feel anything." I closed my eyes and attempted to mentally loosen up, unsure if I was successful or not. Minutes passed, and I felt nothing other than a building sense of pressure to do what Malcolm needed me to do.

"Such a slippery thing," he muttered. "Almos' impossible tae get around tha shield of yers. I cannae get intae yer mind enough tae try to use it on Alice." He sighed, and I opened my eyes to look at him.

"What am I doing wrong?" I asked desperately. "I want so badly to do this, but I just don't understand what to do!"

Jasper's hands tightened gently on my shoulders, and I leaned back into him. "Sweetheart, I want you to close your eyes and imagine that it's just you and me on our couch back in New York," he suggested, his honey voice immediately lessening my frustration.

"I want you to remember the night that Emmett and Rose showed up," he continued, his voice slow and hypnotic. "You wanted to show me your feelings to prove that you weren't using me as a substitute for Edward, and you did. I want you to do that again, Bella. Let me feel what you're feeling."

Taking a deep breath, I did as he said, vividly remembering how desperately I wanted him to know what I felt for him. Focusing only on Jasper and showing him my love, I envisioned my feelings pouring out of me and into him. Leaning down from behind me, he captured my lips with his, and the love simply swept me away.

"Got it!" Malcolm's triumphant voice called out, causing me to jump slightly in Jasper's arms. We broke our kiss, and I was surprised that I felt no embarrassment at Malcolm's presence near us. He was completely focused on Alice, suddenly releasing my hand to scoop her up into his arms, settling her onto his lap as he sat down on the couch.

We all watched as her eyelids flickered and eventually shot open, immediately honing in on Jasper and me.

"Why doesn't it hurt to see you together?" she whispered, her voice sounding almost hoarse from disuse. "The visions hurt me so much, but now that it's a reality, it doesn't hurt at all."

Jasper tightened his arms around me as he answered. "That's because you're being held by your mate, Alice. Your heart knows that you're right where you belong, even if you don't, yet."

With that, Alice sat straight up, turning to stare into Malcolm's amber eyes. "Who are you?" she asked softly, her eyes full of wonder. Jasper and I watched in amazement as Malcolm's normally stern face morphed into a tender smile.

"I'm Malcolm Stewart," he answered softly. "An I am yers, just as ye are mine."

"But why didn't I see you coming?" she demanded, her eyes glazing over as she concentrated. After several seconds, she looked over at us, her expression confused. "Why can't I see anything anymore?" she asked anxiously. "The future is gone!"

Malcolm turned her face gently back toward his. "Nae gone, Alice," he said softly. "Jus' blocked. Yer mind needs some time away from focusing on yer visions so that you can accept what's happened and move on to oor future. In time, I cen try tae remove the block tae see if ye can handle the visions again, but fer now, ye need tae learn tae live without the gift."

"But it's all I've ever known," she said woodenly before collapsing into sobs against Malcolm's chest. Suddenly very aware that Jasper and I were no longer required, I stood quickly and we walked quietly out of the room.

Jasper must have felt my concern over Alice's reaction, because he spun me around to look me in the face. "Don't worry," he ordered. "Malcolm will be exactly what she needs, just like you are for me and vice versa."

"That makes sense," I admitted, looking up into the eyes I loved so much. Tugging on his hands, I turned toward our room. "Come on," I ordered. "I'm feeling a sudden urge to stand under hot water. It's been four days since my last shower!"

"Lead the way," he teased, falling into step beside me. We returned to our room for the first time since I had jumped out the window earlier. Resolutely ignoring the missing glass and the large crater in the wall, I sat on the bed. Jasper looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"I was just playing 'what if,'" I explained sheepishly. "You know, what if I didn't cut my finger? What if Edward didn't leave me? What if Alice didn't shut you out? Where do you think you and I would be right now?"

He smiled softly and sat down next to me. "We'll never really know the answer to that, Sweetheart. I don't think I really want to know. I can't imagine being without you now that I have you, but I can't imagine either of us being unfaithful to Edward and Alice." We turned to face each other and he leaned down so that his face was directly in front of mine. "I think after my time with Alice that I've had enough of 'what if.' From now on, I'm just gonna live in the here and now, with you, where I'm supposed to be."

Our lips met, and I was amazed again at the intensity of the passion I felt for him. The desire I had felt for him as a human was incomparable to the burning lust I was experiencing now. In a flash, I ripped the clothes off of my body, never releasing his mouth. He moaned into our kiss, and stood up, lifting me against his erection as he carried me across the room.

"Where are you going?" I panted, tugging the fly of his jeans open frantically.

"You wanted a shower," he purred into my ear, as he shut the bathroom door behind us and turned on the water. Seconds later, we were standing under the spray, and I took a minute to appreciate the energy efficient, tankless hot water heater.

He pressed me against the wall, placing open mouth kisses along my neck and down my chest until he reached my nipple. Sucking fiercely, he pinched the opposite one, flooding me with desire until I was moaning his name. His hands looked different on my altered body, and I stiffened at the thought, suddenly in need of a connection to my old self.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his eyes full of concern as he looked down at me.

"Do I still look like me?" I blurted out. "I know I'm different now, but does it still feel like it's me when you touch me?"

He gently spun me around so that I was facing the large vanity mirror. For the first time, I took in my new appearance- my more angular face, my flawless skin, and my fuller breasts and hips. My hair was thicker and more lustrous, and my eyes were a startling blood red. But overall, I was reassured that I still looked like me, just with a few upgrades and crazy red eyes.

"As for the touching," Jasper murmured into my ear, "How does it feel to you when you touch me?"

"Just like touching myself," I answered readily. "You don't feel hard anymore." Giggling, I realized that statement was inaccurate, wrapping my fingers around his thick erection. "At least, you don't feel hard anywhere but here."

He purred as he licked down the side of my neck, thrusting his erection gently into my hand. "That's right," he said. "It's the same when I touch you. You just feel normal."

"Oh," I gasped, watching in the mirror as he returned his hands to my breasts. I reached my hands up to play with his wet hair, tugging gently when he began pinching my nipples again.

"I need you inside me," I whispered huskily, turning around to face him.

"Yes, ma'am," he drawled, lifting me by my hips and leaning me up against the shower wall before sliding his dick inside me. Wrapping my legs around his hips, I closed my eyes at the sensation of being filled, relishing the pelting of the water against my skin. He pressed me tightly against the wall and began to thrust into me, each stroke slow and deep.

He kept the pace agonizingly slow, but within minutes, I felt my lower muscles tightening as my orgasm began. Moaning his name, I tried to move against him for more friction, but he kept me tightly restrained against the wall. I lost track of his strokes, every cell in my body tensing until my orgasm broke over me in slow waves, leaving me hanging limply around him in its wake.

Finally, he picked up his pace, pumping forcefully into me, his face clenched in pleasure. The speed and force triggered a second orgasm and I screamed his name, feeling him pulse inside me with his own release. Distantly, I registered the sound of Edward screaming my name, followed closely by several small crashes from the other side of the house.

_Stupid, mind-reading, son of a bitch is ruining my bliss,_ I thought to myself. _He needs a time out._ The thought illuminated my brain like a light bulb and I smiled evilly up at Jasper.

"What?" he asked, looking at me suspiciously.

"Let's wash," I answered smugly. "I just got an idea on how to teach Edward what he needs to learn."

Jasper's returning smile matched mine, and we quickly began scrubbing each other as I mentally ran through my plan.

**AN- My sincere apologies for the delay. I was out of town and had difficulties getting my mojo back once I got back home. Hoping to get back to normal now!**

**Dear MM- My mind is still blown from my reward. You rock my world.**

**Thank you to VegaTenshi for the idea to fuse Edward's head to his ass. Also, thanks to kjgrubbs for suggesting bejeweling his balls! You girls give great reviews, and I appreciate the inspiration!**

**Recs - My Life Extended by LyricalKris- really poignant AH Bella/Jasper.**

**No Holds Barred by jayhawkbb- cute AH Bellarina/Bartenderward.**

**Thanks for reading and Happy Thanksgiving to my American readers!**

**Love,**

**heavy**


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty-one

**Thank you, mynxi, for everything you do to make my story better. I'm just yours. **

**Thank you to team Malcolm for the Scottish assistance! NewTownGirl translated (while travelling!), and Pyejammies (and her fine Scottish man!) and chedoo28 were kind enough to preread and offer their feedback. **

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer. **

**JPOV**

I followed Bella toward Alice's room, listening as Esme and Rosalie gently filled Alice in on the events of the last few months. With relief, I noticed that Alice's emotions were calm, despite everything she was being faced with. She felt a great deal of shock and disbelief, but I could already sense the beginning of acceptance in her emotional mix.

Bella knocked softly on the door, and I was proud of her for not flinching when it quickly opened, revealing Malcolm's imposing figure.

"Hello, Lass," he greeted her, giving a smile and a nod in my direction. "Jasper. Ah'm guessin' ye did nae cut yer shower short fer social reasons," he teased with a lascivious grin. "What can we do fer ye?"

As usual, Bella took the sexual teasing like a champ, ignoring it and getting right down to business. "You're right, Malcolm. I wanted to ask you a favor, but I don't want to impose on you," she said, literally fluttering her eyelashes at the now-flustered Scot.

"Lass, after the way ye helped me wi' Alice, there's no much I wouldnae do for ye," he answered gruffly. "Now put those eyelashes away before Ah agree tae give you everything Ah own," he ordered with a smile. "How can Ah help ye?"

Bella turned to look at me, and my curiosity about her plans increased exponentially. "I need somewhere private to explain it to you guys," she admitted, a satisfied smile crossing her lips.

"Well then, let's take a walk," Malcolm agreed amiably. He turned away from us, putting Alice and Bella within each other's line of sight.

I felt Bella's discomfort and anxiety about facing her former friend, and I rubbed her arm reassuringly.

"Hi Bella," Alice whispered, breaking the silence that had grown in the room. "I can see you're busy right now, but I wondered if I could speak with you and Jasper later today?" Her voice was hesitant and unsure, a marked contrast from her former confidence.

"Um, sure, Alice," Bella responded awkwardly. I could feel her reluctance to sit down and hash things out with Alice, but I knew it was necessary in order for all of us to move on. Better to endure a difficult conversation than live with our painful pasts for the rest of eternity.

Turning back to Malcolm, I casually redirected things back to the issue at hand. "We'll just wait for you in the clearing to the north of the house."

He agreed, and Bella and I headed out of the house together. We held hands as we walked the short distance, taking our time and verifying that we were out of Edward's hearing range. Minutes after we reached the clearing, Malcolm joined us, his emotions full of curiosity over Bella's plan.

Wasting no time on pleasantries, Bella cut right to the chase. "I want to block Edward's gift the way we blocked Alice's," she blurted out. "Do you think we can do the same thing to him?" My eyes widened as I took in the enormity of what she wanted to do.

Malcolm's expression was calculating as he looked down at Bella. "Ma instinct says aye, we can do it," he said slowly, "but Ah wonder what yer motivation is, Miss Bella."

She opened her mouth to protest, but he held up a hand. "Ah'm no' sayin' Ah willnae help ye; ye've earned ma assistance at the very least. Ah just want tae warn ye that revenge usually doesnae taste as sweet as we think it will."

"That's not it," Bella insisted. "I won't lie; part of me wants to make him pay for messing up my life. I'm also tempted to hurt him so bad he'll never even dream about approaching me again, but that's not what my plan is about. This isn't to hurt him- it's to help him."

I stared at her in shock, wondering how she thought that blocking his ability would help him. She smiled slightly, realizing that both Malcolm and I weren't following her train of thought.

"It's like this," she began. "I think that most of Edward's problem is that he doesn't relate to people the same way the rest of us do. Most of us can only operate on what people say to us and how they treat us. You and Malcolm both have extra insight, but it's still limited. Edward, though, has to operate knowing every single thought that passes through the minds of the people around him. It must be terrible," she insisted.

"Everyone thinks awful things that they don't actually say. Imagine having to hear all those terrible things anyway. I think that it's made him unable to completely empathize with others. He sees the worst of us, and he responds to it. Blocking him will be a chance for him to learn to deal with people on a level playing field. It will be good for him, and he may even come to appreciate it!"

I took in the sight of my Bella, breathless in her enthusiasm, even as a vampire. I could faintly feel her sincerity through her shield, so I knew her heart was in the right place, but I wasn't sure if she had convinced Malcolm. His feelings were conflicted, and he kept looking at her, searching for an answer in her face.

His posture finally relaxed, and I smiled, realizing what his decision was. "Alrigh' then, Lass. Let's go," he said simply, turning back to the house. Bella smiled triumphantly before taking off after Malcolm. Shaking my head, I brought up the rear, eager to see how this would all play out.

By the time we reached the house, Bella had taken the lead, her posture strong and confident. Her hair flowed behind her as she strode quickly toward Edward's room, and I wished she could see herself through my eyes, storing the memory for when she felt weak and defenseless.

She knocked briskly, and Carlisle answered quickly.

"Bella, I'm surprised to see you here," he said, his confusion evident on his face and in his feelings. "Do you need me for something?"

"No, Carlisle. I'm here to see Edward," she answered politely, smiling when Carlisle's expression became even more confused.

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Bella?" he asked hesitantly. "You're more than welcome to see him, but I can't guarantee that he won't upset you again."

"Don't worry, Carlisle," she answered neutrally. "I'm sure he will upset me, but I promise to leave all of his body parts attached."

He smiled slightly as he stepped aside to let us enter. I could feel his curiosity deepening as he glanced at Malcolm.

Before we were all in the door, Edward was on his feet, rushing toward Bella. "I knew you'd come to your senses," he exclaimed, only stopping when Bella snorted derisively.

"Yeah right," she scoffed. "You've done nothing but impose yourself on me since you tore my front door off the hinges, but it's okay, because I've decided I'm into that now," she hissed sarcastically before becoming deadly serious.

"I've tried every method I can think of to make it clear to you that you are not welcome in my life, but you just don't get the message. Because you chose not to listen to me, I missed out on stuff I wanted to do before I was changed. I didn't get to savor my last cup of coffee or lay in the sun. Now that may not sound important in the great scheme of things, but I've got to tell you that right now, it's really pissing me off," she growled, taking a threatening step toward him.

I was gratified when he took a quick step away from her, his eyes darting to Carlisle in a silent plea for protection. Carlisle just looked on, apparently indifferent, although I could feel his burning curiosity as Bella began to speak again.

"So," she continued, "I asked myself why you're having this issue _listening_ to me, and I came up with a theory."

"A theory?" Edward whispered, his emotions turning apprehensive.

"Just sit back and relax," Bella ordered, stalking slowly toward him. "It's kind of hard to explain, so Malcolm and I are just gonna show you." Her evil smile was enough to give me chills, and Edward's fear suddenly spiked off the charts.

He turned toward Carlisle again. "You're just going to allow them to experiment on me?" he asked desperately, continuing to back away from Bella.

Carlisle nodded succinctly at his wayward son. "Yes, Edward. I am just going to allow them to do whatever they came here to do. I hope it helps you, because I can't. I don't know who you are anymore, son." His amber eyes were full of the sadness he was feeling, and he took a few seconds to find the words before he continued.

"I've known things were wrong with you ever since we left Forks, Edward. I've tried to be supportive while giving you space to work things out. I've defended your actions to everyone, even when I couldn't understand them. But my protection of you ended the moment you laid a violent hand on Esme," he said in a hard tone, his eyes suddenly a dangerous black. "Esme," he continued, "who has only _ever_ treated you with compassion and patience. Something has to change, Edward. I truly hope Bella can make you see the light, because if she can't, you're not welcome in this family anymore."

His bleak face matched the pain he felt at saying those words, and my still heart ached for him. I knew only too well how much Carlisle loved Edward, and to banish him from the family would be devastating for him. I shot him some comfort and reassurance, hoping I wasn't offering false hope.

Edward stared at his creator and father figure in shock, his mouth literally hanging open. Before he could even look at us, Bella snapped into action. "Drop him, Jasper," she ordered.

I immediately hit Edward with a large dose of lethargy, my cock twitching at Bella's authoritative tone. She smiled smugly at me, eyeing my crotch, before giving me a quick wink and turning back to Malcolm.

"Shall we?" she asked politely, holding out her hand to him.

Malcolm smiled appreciatively at her, causing me to growl involuntarily. I shot him an apologetic grin, but he just chuckled. "Aye Lass, let's get on wi' it before yer man gets more territorial."

He and Bella joined hands before each placing their free hand on Edward's head. His eyes darted back and forth and I felt his fear amplifying. Moving to stand behind Bella, I put my hands on her shoulders again, sighing as our peace drifted over me.

This time, Malcolm had no difficulty slipping past Bella's shield in order to use it to block Edward's gift. Within seconds, they released each other's hands and stood up. "You can let him up now, Jasper," she said sweetly, turning to step into my arms. I released Edward from the lethargy and he immediately jumped up, snarling at Bella and Malcolm.

"What did you do to me?" he screamed, his hands on his head. "It's gone!" he screamed, his emotions ranging from panic to anger.

"Calm down, Edward," Carlisle ordered sternly. "What's gone?"

"They took away my ability!" he yelled. "I can't hear _anyone_ anymore!"

"That's right, Edward," Bella cut in cooly. "Think of it as a time out of sorts. A chance to enjoy some quiet while you learn to communicate like the rest of us do, using words."

Without another word, she turned to walk out of the room, stopping only at the sound of Carlisle's voice.

"How long will it last?" he asked animatedly. His emotions were a combination of cautious optimism and scientific interest.

"Ah'm no' entirely sure," Malcolm admitted. "Especially since neither o' us will be in prolonged contact wi' him. It might well be permanent until we remove it though."

Bella shot a glare at Edward. "Maybe if you're a good boy, I'll come back and try to remove it," she said, shrugging nonchalantly and walking out of the room. Her head was held high, and I was proud of her confidence. Malcolm and I followed her out, nodding sympathetically at Carlisle. Based on his past behavior, I could only imagine that Edward would be a prima donna about this, and Carlisle would bear the brunt of Edward's ire.

The three of us returned to Alice's room, where Malcolm quickly waved Bella and me inside when we paused at the door. Rosalie and Esme stood up as the three of us walked inside, both of them clearly affected by what we had done to Edward. Rose was smiling viciously, but Esme just looked sad.

"I'd better see if Carlisle needs some company," she said quietly, giving Bella a kiss on the cheek as she slipped from the room.

Rose's fierce smile matched her gleeful satisfaction at Edward's "time out." She walked over and gave me a tight hug before stopping awkwardly in front of Bella.

"Oh hell," she muttered, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around Bella, who stood staring at me in shock until she remembered to respond with her own little squeeze to Rose's shoulders. Rose's emotions were full of respect for Bella, in addition to a sense of hope for a future friendship.

"You were awesome, Bella," Rose admitted simply, stepping back from Bella. "I know you guys have shit to chat about now, so I'll get out of the way. You guys did a good thing down there," she said over her shoulder, tossing her blonde hair as she walked out of the room. We all knew that privacy was an illusion in this house, but over the years, we had realized that it still felt better to have certain conversations without uninvolved people in the room.

The three of us turned to face Alice, who was waiting expectantly on the couch, wringing her hands anxiously. I hated the feeling of her uncertainty, and it was difficult to resist the urge to use my ability to calm her as I had so many times in the past.

"Um, I was hoping to speak to Jasper alone first?" she asked, looking only at Bella as she spoke.

"There's nothing you can't say to me in front…" I began, in a patient tone. However, Bella surprised me by agreeing readily to the request.

"No, Jasper, it's no problem," she answered casually. "I'll go find Peter and Charlotte so we can start checking on real estate in remote locations." She hugged me tightly and I could almost feel her fighting the desire to stake a claim on me. Displaying remarkable restraint for a newborn, she limited herself to a quick kiss on my lips. I tugged both of her hands to my mouth, kissing her knuckles gently.

"I'll see you in a few minutes," I reassured her. She smiled in reply and headed out the door toward the room Peter and Charlotte were using.

Sighing, I walked toward Alice, sitting down on the other end of the couch from her. I took a moment to take in the changes in her demeanor. Rather than her usual frenetic gestures, she was now sitting calmly, although she appeared tense. She visibly relaxed when Malcolm joined her on the couch, even though her feelings toward him continued to be confused.

"Is it alright if Ah stay?" he asked us.

I nodded my agreement, cocking my eyebrow in question toward Alice.

"That's fine," she answered quickly, clearly relieved that he would be staying.

"How are you?" I asked her politely, anxious to move this conversation forward and get it out of the way.

"Strange," she admitted, her tone almost shy. "It just feels like something's missing inside me, and it's frustrating not knowing what will happen. Malcolm's been helping me learn to calm down when I get anxious about it though," she said, smiling softly.

Her face grew sad as she looked up at me. "This," she said, waving her hand between her and Malcolm, "Is so confusing. What I feel toward him is so strong, but I don't understand it, especially after being so sure I loved you."

I felt Malcolm's satisfaction at hearing her say she had strong feelings toward him, and I smiled gently at her. "Alice, nothing that ever happens can take away the love we had. The fact that it ended doesn't make it any less real."

I felt her grief and remorse before she whispered, "I'm so sorry for shutting you out, Jasper. I saw you with Bella, and no matter what variable I altered, the outcome never changed. It just broke me inside, so I pushed you away so I wouldn't have to watch you walk into her arms. I know that hurt you, and I'm sorry."

Sighing, I shook my head in amazement at the explanation for her actions. "I forgive you, Alice," I assured her. "I just wish you had been honest with me. I'm done playing 'what if' and I have no regrets about where I stand right now, but I can assure you that the only thing that ended my love for you was the fact that you walked out on me. Losing you was the most painful thing I've experienced in my many years, and my life was just barely tolerable until Bella reappeared in it."

She acknowledged my pain, nodding her head sorrowfully. Before she could speak, I held my hand up and gave her a hard stare. "Which brings me to my question for you, Alice. I hate to ask it, but I need to know the answer if we ever want to move on. I need to know if you saw what Bella had to go through, Alice. Please tell me you didn't see that and keep it from the rest of us."

I felt her horror, even before her facial expression could alter to reflect it. "Oh no, Jasper," she gasped. "Esme and Rose just filled me in on what happened to Bella and her family while you were hunting this morning. My visions just kept focusing on you and Bella together, and I started to spend all my time trying to find something that would alter the outcome. I _never_ would have kept quiet about seeing Victoria hurting Bella's family, no matter what Edward said, and no matter what it meant for you and me. Charlie didn't deserve that," she added sadly.

Malcolm moved his arm and Alice automatically leaned against him, causing me to smile slightly to see the calming effect he had on her. "If only Edward didn't force us all to leave." Her sadness grew deeper and I realized she was thinking about Edward's other actions.

"I feel so sorry for him," she admitted sheepishly. "I know what he's done is inexcusable, but I understand how desperately he wants to hold onto Bella. I can't believe how he endangered her though." Her face cleared slightly as she continued. "Maybe his time out will help him gain some perspective. I wish I could tell you if it will work," she ended, emitting a flash of humor.

I smiled back at her, shrugging casually. "Time will tell, I guess."

Alice nodded and turned her head toward the door. "Bella, we're ready if you'd like to join us," she said clearly. We listened quietly to the sound of Bella's footsteps growing louder until she finally reached the door and entered the room.

She walked gracefully over to us and I shifted my body to allow her to sit between my legs. She and Alice looked steadily at each other for a moment, doing some sort of female wordless communication that left Malcolm and I rolling our eyes at each other.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Alice eventually said, her emotions full of regret. "I'm sorry for following Edward's wishes and leaving you, and especially for not saying good-bye." She paused for a moment, struggling against her profound grief. "And I'm _so_ sorry that I didn't see what Victoria was going to do to you and your family."

Bella reached slowly out to take Alice's hand in hers. "Alice, I never expected you to keep tabs on me. I wasn't your responsibility, and it wasn't your job to watch out for me. I have to admit that I have a hard time with the way you walked away from me, as well as the way you treated Jasper, but at the end of the day, that's between the two of you," she ended with a shrug.

Alice leaned forward, radiating hope. "I hope this means we can be friends again, Bella. I really did love you like a sister."

Bella stiffened slightly and took her hand back. "I'm sorry, Alice," she said tensely. "That's going to take some time. I'm not saying it won't ever happen, but I'm not the same person you knew in Forks, and I'm not ready to just fall back into our old friendship."

Alice nodded sadly. "I can understand that," she admitted. "I realize I have to earn that position again." Bella nodded stiffly back, and I could tell that the conversation was over. Bella took a moment to thank Malcolm for his help with Edward, but he assured her he felt the debt remained in her balance for helping him save his mate. We said our goodbyes to them, leaving the option open to meet again sometime in the future.

We packed up our few belongings and said quick farewells to the others after repeatedly promising to stay in close contact. Emmett was reluctant to let go of Bella, but she assured him that he and Rosalie were welcome to visit as soon as we were settled wherever we ended up.

Peter and Charlotte were waiting for us at the front door, and we piled into the non-descript sedan that Peter procured for us. Bella curled into my side for the short drive back to the little cabin, and I rubbed her arm absently.

As we pulled into sight of the house, Bella and I both tensed. It had been less than a week since I walked away from Bella, leaving her inside this place, but literally everything had changed over those few days. Bella was quiet while we got out of the car and walked inside. Peter and Charlotte had completely repaired the damage the home had sustained, and I wouldn't have believed the place had ever been trashed if I hadn't heard it from Peter's lips.

"You okay?" I asked Bella quietly once we were inside. Her eyes were darting around and her posture was tense. Her shield was up tight, so I couldn't feel her emotions, but everything about her screamed anxiety.

"Just weird flashes of memories," she answered tightly. Thankfully, Bella had retained most of her human memories, but I knew from my own experience that the last few days of life prior to being changed could leave intense memories and feelings.

Peter walked slowly over to her, giving her plenty of time to react, before wrapping her in a firm hug. "Just take your time, Little Bird. Maybe let's take a walk around the house so you can get all the flashbacks out of the way. I think you'll feel calmer once you've been all around the place."

I shot him some gratitude as Bella meekly nodded her head, falling into step with Peter. He and Char gave her a humorous guided tour of the little cabin, actually eliciting a laugh from her when they explored the tiny bathroom. By the time they rejoined me in the living room, Bella was relaxed again.

Smiling, I beckoned Bella over to join me on the sofa, where I had my laptop up and running, searching for homes in remote Northern Canada. We eventually zeroed in on a simple home on the western shore of the Hudson Bay. Bella was excited to be near the water, and the location was about as remote as we could hope for. I called Jenks and instructed him to move on acquiring the property.

Peter and Char excused themselves to head to a more populated area for a long overdue hunt. As soon as the car pulled away, Bella pounced on me, clearly eager for a chance to get physical without an audience. She pushed me backward onto the couch, wrapping her legs around me and grinding herself against my hardening dick.

She dropped her shield, and I was floored by the mixture of lust and possessiveness she was feeling, even as she claimed my mouth in a passionate kiss. I met her enthusiastically, but I allowed her to lead, aware that she desperately needed to feel in control of something right now.

She broke the kiss and began to lick up and down my jaw line, causing me to purr in desire and satisfaction at her scent on my skin. Suddenly, she sat up and stared at me, an intense gleam in her eyes.

"I didn't like you so close to Alice," she growled quietly. "My head and my heart know that I have nothing to worry about, but my body _really_ didn't like you being so close to her. So now," she continued, her voice shifting into a sultry purr, "I'm going to reacquaint my body with the fact that you're all _mine."_

"Yes, Ma'am," I drawled, disinclined to argue with this development in the least. In seconds, she had my shirt off and was licking and kissing her away up and down my chest, making sure she reached every single inch of me. By the time she reached my navel, I was squirming with the need for some attention to my dick.

"Eager?" she quipped, raising an eyebrow as she climbed down and knelt demurely on the floor in front of me.

"Very," I answered with a smirk.

She grinned back up at me, licking her lips. "Then help a girl out, and stand up, Whitlock," she ordered. "I like how your ass looks in these jeans, so I don't want to rip them off of you."

"Yes Ma'am," I answered again, flying to my feet and whipping the fly of my jeans open. She quickly tugged them down enough to free my dick, which was already dripping in anticipation. In seconds, her lips were on me as she enveloped my length with her mouth.

Accustomed to the heat of her human mouth, I was shocked for a second at the neutral temperature. However, the increased suction she was now able to use soon obliterated that thought, and I just gave myself over to the unadulterated pleasure of her sucking me off, bucking my hips enthusiastically to fuck her mouth, secure in the knowledge that I was no longer going to accidentally harm her.

I ground my teeth, trying to prolong the amazing sensation, but I was unable to resist the talent of her mouth. All too quickly, I was moaning her name as I came down her throat, my orgasm so powerful I was seeing stars. She sucked me clean, licking her way up and down my already stiffening length again before playfully pushing me back to the couch and tugging my jeans all the way off.

"Come here," I teased, tugging her up and onto my lap, her legs on either side of me. "You have way too many clothes on," I said casually, palming her breasts through her thin cotton t-shirt before tracing both nipples with the lightest of touches. She moaned in response, rubbing her fabric covered pussy up against my now fully erect dick.

"Ready to go again?" she gasped, arching her back and grinding against me again.

"You know it, Baby," I answered, lifting her shirt off and literally ripping her pants apart to reveal her bare folds. "Now that you've reminded yourself that my dick is all yours, I want to remind myself that this little treasure," I paused for a moment to tap her swollen little clit, smiling when she blatantly rubbed herself against my fingertip, "Is all mine."

With that, I thrust three fingers into her, rubbing firmly against her nub with my thumb. Picking up the pace, I curled my fingers with each thrust, enjoying the sensation of her walls clamping down around my fingers. With my free hand, I reached up to pinch her left nipple, confident that it would send her over the edge.

She screamed my name and I watched in fascination as her body writhed against mine in pleasure. Her face was beautiful to watch, every muscle tensed with the strength of her orgasm. She panted unnecessarily, and I smirked in self satisfaction as I pulled my fingers out of her wet passage. She grabbed my hand, pulling it to her mouth, and quickly sucked my fingers clean.

Before I could even blink, she pushed me farther back onto the couch and aligned the tip of my dick with her wet pussy. "That was great, Jasper," she said breathily. "I'm definitely all yours. Now," she said with a smirk, "Make me come again, this time on your dick."

With that, she quickly lowered herself onto my length, causing us both to moan at the sensation of being joined.

"Yes, Ma'am," I answered for the third time. "That will be my pleasure," I grunted, lifting my hips up to meet her as she bounced up and down on me. I matched her pace perfectly, enjoying the feeling of having her in charge. I noticed her looking down, and my gaze followed hers to watch my dick sliding in and out of her opening, glistening with the moisture of her desire.

Moving one hand from her hips, I licked a fingertip and slid it down her body, from the tip of one nipple straight to her clit. Bella bit her lip and tossed her head back, pushing my dick farther into her body as she rubbed herself against my finger.

I groaned at the sensation of being so deep inside of her and increased the pressure on her clit. Feeling my own orgasm building, I thrust desperately into her. "Let it go, Sweetheart," I ordered, closing my eyes as I felt her pussy clench around me and registered the sound of her screaming my name.

My orgasm was long and intense after my first release in her mouth. I kept thrusting, gradually slowing the pace as the waves of pleasure subsided. Gently, I tugged Bella against my chest, where she immediately tucked herself under my chin into her habitual spot.

"Thank you," she whispered fervently. "I really needed that."

Chuckling, I ran my fingers idly through her silky hair. "Anytime, Sweets."

We eventually dragged ourselves to the little bedroom, where we fell immediately into bed, this time exploring each other gently. We made love over and over, giving and taking freely of each other. After achieving completion yet again, I was startled at the sparkle of sunlight against Bella's pale skin.

We had loved the night away, and dawn had arrived without our notice. Picking up the sound of a car arriving in the driveway, I hastily wrapped a sheet around Bella's lithe body, just finishing in time for Peter and Charlotte to barge into the room.

Peter's smirk was a mile wide, and I couldn't prevent a proud grin from my face as I took in Bella's well-fucked appearance.

"Well, if you two are all done fuckin' like bunnies," he drawled, rolling his eyes, "We have some travel plans to make."

Bella smiled back at him, completely relaxed, despite her lack of clothes. "Whatever, Peter," she answered drily. "Just give us a minute to get dressed."

"Only if you want to," was his snarky reply as he turned and exited the room.

"Fucker," she muttered darkly, but her mood was one of content amusement as she searched for her clothing among the pile of blankets on the floor.

Chuckling, I joined her quest for something to cover up with, ready to make the plans that would take us on the next leg of our journey together.

**Sorry I'm a few days late- what can I say? There was a turkey and a Darth Vader apple pie in my house! **

**My darling MM, I've got the snuggie ready. Come on over for more ice cream! It tastes better when your spoon is in the carton too!**

**Congrats to Cathy29jes for figuring out what Bella's Time Out was going to be! Good guessing my friend! All that and she's French, folks! **** I just wish I could read French the way she reads English!**

**Thanks to CentauRita for helping me get in the right mindset for Carlisle this chapter. I know he didn't really vamp out, but I think he's heading in the right direction!**

**And finally, my rec for this chapter is The Properties of Dreams by NewTownGirl. It's Bella x Jasper, set after Bella cliff dives in New Moon. I'm really enjoying what she's doing with Bella's character and I can't wait to see what happens next! Also, check out Strings by jdbeaner. It's AH Bella x Edward, and is a great mix of poignant and funny, not to mention it features the meanest grandma ever!**


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty-two

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer.**

**Thank you to my beta babe, mynxi. Congratulations on the job, baby!**

**Abject apologies for the delay to follow.**

**This one is dedicated to nicoconsd, my fuck-hot seat mate on the short bus. Thanks to her, I faced the fuckery that was the last three weeks of my life without raccoon eyes. Thanks for the shoulder and the waterproof mascara, nics. Love you!**

**BPOV**

Jasper threw our two small bags in the trunk, shut it, and joined me in the back seat of the car. "Let's roll," he said dramatically, earning a laugh from Peter and an eye roll from me. Peter obliged and started the car, and a minute later we were pulling out of sight of the little house. I was excited and anxious as we headed away from where my human life had ended and towards the place where I would spend the rest of my newborn period.

It felt good to put the turbulence that had happened here behind us, and I allowed myself to relax as Peter headed toward the Canadian border. Peter and Charlotte seemed oddly excited, and I noticed Jasper looking at them intensely every once in awhile. The tension I was feeling continued to build, and by the time Peter pulled the car over just short of the border, I was nearly vibrating with stress.

Jasper ran his hand soothingly along my arm as we all climbed out of the car. Since my eyes were too vividly red to be hidden under contacts, the plan was for Jasper and me to run across the border and wait for Peter and Charlotte to meet us with the car. Peter smiled mischievously while Char shook her head in amusement.

Jasper raised an eyebrow at Peter and tugged me back against his chest, wrapping his arms around me. "Lay it on me, Peter," he sighed. "You've been wearing your eager face all morning. What gives?"

"Aw shucks," Peter drawled. "Can't hide nothin' from you, can I? Relax, Little Bird, it's nothin' major. Just a little change in plans for Char and me, that's all," he said, smiling at me reassuringly. "Now, we love ya both like wind loves blowin', but the truth is, we could all benefit from some time on our own. So, the two of us are gonna take a little vacation while you and Bella go get reconnected."

For some reason, the thought of going on without Peter and Charlotte caused me to panic. Jasper responded immediately by holding me tighter and tucking me under his chin. Char stepped over and put her hands gently on my shoulders. Standing eye to eye with me, she smiled.

"Sugar, you're gonna be just fine. This is a good thing for both of ya, and Peter and I will never be more than a phone call away."

Unable to speak around the knot of tension in my throat, I just nodded as she leaned in to kiss my cheek. She stepped away and Peter quickly replaced her, gripping both Jasper and me in a firm hug. After he released us, he tipped my chin up.

"We'll be there as soon as ya need us, Little Bird, but not a minute before," he said cheerfully. "Now relax and make sure ya keep Jasper here on his toes. He needs a little challenge." He turned to walk away, casually tossing a set of keys to Jasper. "Your car's waitin' just on the other side of the border," he called over his shoulder. "It ain't stolen, so ya don't have to worry about gettin' pulled over. You can thank me later!"

I watched silently as he got into the car, put it in drive, and pulled away. The sense of anxiety and abandonment was as infuriating as it was incapacitating. I knew that Peter and Char were only leaving temporarily and that they would return the minute I needed them. Unfortunately, that knowledge did nothing to stop the fierce desire to run after them and beg them to stay.

Just as my feelings began to overwhelm me, Jasper spun me quickly around and tugged me down to sit on the ground with him. Settling me onto his lap, he tucked my head back under his chin and began to rock us gently back and forth. The motion was astoundingly soothing, and I felt myself relaxing even before he began to speak.

"I know the change in plans is upsetting you," he whispered, "but we're going to be just fine, Bella. I can feel how hard you're fighting to stay calm, and I'm so proud of you. It's hard for me to watch you struggle to overcome your instincts, but you're doing a great job, Bella. I'm right here with you, and together, we'll get past this."

Closing my eyes, my body melted into his chest as I allowed his words and touch to calm me. Gradually, my anxiety faded, and I was finally able to sit up and look him in the face. His expression was soft and relaxed, as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.

"I'm okay to go now," I said softly. "I'm sorry about…"

He placed a fingertip against my lips before I could finish. "No apologies," he ordered sternly. "You haven't done anything wrong. I know you feel like you're raging out of control, but you're really doing very well, and everything you're experiencing is normal." He flashed an excited grin at me and looked at the overcast skies. "Now let's go break into Canada," he teased, tugging me to my feet.

We picked up our overnight bags from where Peter had left them on the side of the road and took off for the border. I was glad we had packed light. Of course, the weight of the bags was no issue, but it would have been awkward to run with a large suitcase. It felt fantastic to run at full speed, and I relished the sense of feeling comfortable in my new body as the wind whipped my hair.

A small herd of deer crossed our path, so we took advantage of the opportunity for a quick meal. After drinking our fill, we quickly found the car Peter had mysteriously arranged for us. I whistled appreciatively, taking in the pristine Lexus sedan in front of me.

"I guess we're travelling in style now," I quipped to Jasper while he popped the trunk and tossed our bags in. I carefully opened the passenger door, freezing as the scent hit my nostrils.

"Shit," I gasped as the fire ignited in my throat, causing every nerve in my body to focus on finding the source of the mouthwatering smell that was assaulting me.

"Fuck," Jasper muttered under his breath as he rushed to my side. "Fucker forgot to clean the car out. Just go ahead and breathe it in, Bella. You're just smelling the last human that was in this car; there's no one in the area, so there's no danger. Breathe it in and try to get used to the sensation a little."

I closed my eyes and clenched his arms with my hands, trying to follow his instructions. Despite the fact that I had finished feeding only minutes earlier, every instinct I possessed was screaming at me to run until I found the source of this scent so I could drain it dry. Second by second, I was fighting a battle to stay in control. Horrified at my capacity to want to take a human life, I forced myself to think of the faces of my parents and the many people who had been kind to me during my years on my own.

"How were you able to be around me?" I gasped, knowing he would understand my question.

Slipping his arms out of my iron grip, he ran his hands up and down my back and rubbed my shoulders a little. "It gets a little better than this, Bella," he explained. "Don't get me wrong; with the exception of you, it's never been easy for me to be in close proximity to humans, but it won't always feel this intense. This is your first major exposure to the scent, so it's natural that you're feeling it so much."

I kept inhaling, hoping that repeated exposure would eventually ease the white hot feeling in my throat. Unfortunately, the torturous sensation didn't abate. Realizing that there was nothing I could do to decrease the sensation, I began focusing on my response to what I was feeling. The burn wasn't going anywhere, so it was up to me to find a way to function with it.

Standing up from the ground, I climbed into the passenger seat, immersing myself in the delicious human scent. Inch by inch, I forced my body to relax into a semblance of normal posture.

"Take your time," Jasper instructed softly. "We can stick to back roads, but we need to make sure you're not gonna jump out of the car if we pass another vehicle."

"I think I'm okay," I said hesitantly. "I think I just have to accept that it feels this way, and that I really do want to eat people." Even though I had been well aware of the fact of blood lust before I'd been turned, it was still shocking to me that it was powerful enough to make me want to chase down a human being and end a life.

He climbed in the driver's seat and smiled reassuringly at me. "I'll do my damndest to keep us away from temptation, Sweetheart. You'll do fine though, I know it."

I just nodded tightly, hoping he was correct in his assessment. He put the car in gear, and with that, we were off. The drive was tedious and long since we had to stay on remote roads and stop frequently for me to hunt. The worst part of the journey was refueling the car. I was far from able to maintain control around humans, so Jasper had to leave me on my own while he drove to more populated areas in search of gas stations. This process consumed so much fuel that we had to repeat it many times, each one more stressful to me than the last.

The separation was agonizing to me and it was all I could do to prevent myself from running after Jasper's sweet scent each time he drove away. By the time he returned, I was always a quivering ball of anxiety, and it took all of Jasper's love, patience, and empathy to help me calm down. Finally, he suggested we abandon the car in favor of running the rest of the way. I agreed eagerly, aware that I always felt more at ease when I was running. We grabbed our little bags, left the car on the side of the rarely used road, and flew through the remote landscape on our own feet.

Two days after we crossed the border, I noticed the air beginning to smell of the sea as we drew closer to Hudson Bay. Jasper consulted the GPS on his phone and informed me that we were less than an hour away from our new home. Enjoying the salty dampness against my skin, I laughed and ran even faster, eager to see where we would be spending the next few months.

Within several miles, the terrain began to open up a little, and eventually we encountered a charming little clearing with a rustic looking cabin situated in the middle.

"Here we are," Jasper announced quietly, slowing his pace to a leisurely walk as he circled the outside of the home. "It's not in bad shape considering how long it's been unoccupied."

I followed him silently, agreeing with his assessment. There was a long neglected flower garden overgrown with weeds, and two of the windows were cracked. Otherwise, the modest sized cabin was in good shape. Peering into a window, I was pleased to see that it was already furnished. Jasper had assured me that he would have satellite TV and communications hooked up for us within a day or so, but it was nice to know that we wouldn't be sitting on the floor until I was able to shop online.

Jasper unlocked the front door, and I followed him inside. It was a simple dwelling, consisting of two bedrooms and two bathrooms, with an open kitchen and living area in the center. The furnishings were rustic but in good condition, and the bathrooms were surprisingly up to date. I turned around to survey our temporary residence, feeling satisfied that it was a good choice. There were projects to occupy our time on the property, and I knew I would enjoy making it feel like home, even though I had no desire to stay here once I achieved a reasonable level of control.

Jasper joined me and we stood quietly together, looking out the kitchen window into the overgrown garden. His posture felt tense, and when he absently rubbed the back of his neck, I couldn't take the uncertainty any longer.

"What?" I demanded, more harshly than I intended. "What are you worrying about?"

He sighed and wrapped his arms around me. "Bella, I've tried to come up with any plausible alternative, but I can't. I'm gonna have to leave you to go pick up supplies and a vehicle for us. We can't risk anyone delivering stuff while your bloodlust is so strong, so I need to be able to get around."

My stomach twisted as anxiety overwhelmed me. Logically, I knew that Jasper was right and there was no alternative to his departure. Emotionally, I was incapable of accepting this development. Jasper lowered us both to the floor and settled me into his lap yet again. I felt him pushing calm and love toward me through my shield, and eventually I began to feel the manufactured relaxation wash over me.

"I know, Baby," he murmured into my hair. "I don't want to leave you. It feels like it will rip me in two, but we don't really have a choice. I promise I'll be back as quickly as I can, Bella."

I nodded into his chest and quickly pushed away from him. "Just go," I whispered hoarsely. "Get it over with and come back to me." In a flash, he jumped up, pressed a tense kiss to my lips, and was out the door.

The sensation of watching him run away was agonizing. It literally felt as if part of me was being torn out of my body as he walked away. Even more powerful than my bloodlust, the urge to go to Jasper consumed me, and it was all I could do to force myself to remain standing still. Closing my eyes, I forced myself to breathe.

I lost all track of time, just focusing on staying sane until Jasper returned to me. Eventually, I noticed the light changing as dawn approached, and I realized I had spent a whole night in this manner. Consciously relaxing all of my muscles, I decided to hunt in the hopes that running and stalking prey would have its usual calming effect on me.

I quickly located a solitary wolf and took it down, thinking momentarily of the Quileute boys as I did so. I continued to feel the pain of separation from Jasper, but the hunt substantially reduced my anxiety. I jogged back to the cabin, resolute that I would spend the remainder of the time that Jasper was away productively.

I tore through the kitchen cabinets and was pleased to find simple cleaning supplies. Pulling my hair up into a ponytail, I got to work fighting several years' worth of dust. I made myself move at human speed, finding surprising comfort in the familiar motions of cleaning.

Day faded into evening again as I heard the sound of a car engine approaching. Carelessly throwing my cleaning supplies down, I rushed out the door and through the yard toward the long driveway. I listened eagerly to the sound of the car getting closer, and minutes later, a large, black SUV pulled onto the drive.

In a flash, I was at the driver's side door, yanking it open as Jasper cut the engine. In the next instant, he was out of the car and I was wrapped tightly in his arms, our mouths locked together in a deep kiss. He lifted me up against him and I locked my legs around his hips as he crossed the yard and carried me into the house.

"I missed you so bad it hurt," I moaned into his mouth, trying to keep my hands gentle as I removed his shirt.

"I know, I felt it too," he growled, tossing me back onto the bed and yanking my jeans off. White hot desire to feel his skin on mine rushed through me, and I reached up to pull him down on top of me. Groaning, he pressed me down into the bed, using one hand to remove his jeans. He growled again and grabbed my wrists, locking my arms over my head.

Instantly, my desire morphed into a blend of possessive aggression, and without a thought, I used my newborn strength to roll on top of him, a low growl rumbling in my chest. Operating only on instinct, I held his arms down and pressed my mouth against his neck, eager to mark him as my own. I wasn't even aware that I had bitten him until I heard him hiss in discomfort.

The realization of what I had done washed over me, and I quickly sat up, one hand on his chest and one covering my mouth.

"Jesus, Jasper, I'm so sorry," I gasped, horrified that I had hurt him. "Let me see how bad it is." I tipped his head gently to the side, examining the crisp, new bite mark where his throat met his collar bone. The venom burned in my eyes, and I wished in vain for real tears to fall. Feeling vaguely nauseous, I sat back on my heels, looking down at my clenched hands.

"Bella, it's okay," he said urgently, leaning forward to pull me closer. I struggled against his touch, feeling unworthy of his affection. "It barely hurts anymore. It's okay," he repeated.

"No, it's not okay!" I shouted. "I just fucking bit you, Jasper! I hurt you and scarred you, and I'm no better than Maria!" Anger at myself boiled in my veins, and it was all I could do to not pound my fists in fury.

I looked up at his face, and his loving expression began to cut through my miserable fog of anger and self loathing. "Bella, it's okay," he said again, tugging me back into his arms. "It's just a little sting, and I'll be proud of that scar, Sweetheart, because it's from you. You are nothing like Maria, or any of the other vampires that marked me over the years. Those marks were the results of hate, but you marked me because you were claiming me as yours, Bella. Lots of mated vampires mark each other; it's nothing to be ashamed about."

Rubbing the skin next to the new mark gently with my fingertip, I looked up at him. "Can I do anything to make it feel better?" I asked softly, hoping I could do something to lessen his discomfort.

He ran his fingers through my hair and tipped my head back up to meet his gaze. "Licking it actually helps a lot," he answered, looking slightly sheepish.

"Well, lean back and let me take care of you then," I ordered huskily, gently pushing him back on the bed. His eyes darkened with desire, and I licked my lips as I leaned over him. I ran my tongue along the length of his neck and back before stopping at the wound I had inflicted. Gently, I touched the tip of my tongue to the mark, surprised at the neutral taste of the seeping venom.

Jasper hissed again at first, but within a few strokes of my tongue, he was purring contentedly. I felt the rumbling sensation in the lowest parts of my body, and my desire returned as I lapped gently at the bite, smiling to myself when I noticed Jasper thrusting his hips toward me again.

I continued licking his wound, purring myself when he ran his hand down my back and over my ass. My purr changed to a moan when I felt one of his fingers slipping across the folds of my pussy as his hand kept moving over my butt. Finally, he grazed my clit with a fingertip, causing me to squirm against him in search of more friction. Moving his other hand to my hip, he held me still and began to slowly and methodically circle my clit. I ground myself onto his abdomen, trying to get him to pick up the pace, but he just chuckled and held me tighter as he kept rubbing slowly against my throbbing bundle of nerves.

Frantically, I began licking his neck again, gently sucking the last of the oozing venom off of the bite mark. He moaned, and the vibration from his throat rippled through my body, quickly sending me into an intense orgasm as he continued to slowly work my clit with his finger.

Before the waves of pleasure had completely subsided, I broke his grip and slid myself down his abdomen until I felt the head of his dick lining up with my wet opening. I quickly slid his erection inside me, relishing the feeling of being filled by him.

He hummed in appreciation and began to thrust into me, but I quickly took control of our rhythm, riding him hard and fast as I enjoyed watching his face contort in pleasure underneath me. I kept the fast pace going while I leaned back down against his chest to press my lips against the mark I had given him.

"Mine," I whispered against the broken skin.

"Yours, Bella," he groaned, bucking wildly against me until he released deep inside of me. I stared down at his beautiful face as it tensed and eventually relaxed after his climax. Falling against his chest, I suddenly realized that I was trembling.

"What's wrong?" he asked quickly, half sitting underneath me.

"I need you to cover me," I answered automatically. "I need to know you have me."

Somehow understanding my cryptic explanation, he immediately rolled us over so that he was lying on top of me. My earlier aggression had disappeared, and now his weight on my body was completely comforting. He pressed gentle kisses around my face, and eventually the weird trembling stopped, allowing me to relax into his embrace.

We lay silently together until I finally broke the peace by speaking. "I'm so sorry," I began, before he interrupted me.

"Bella, please don't apologize again. I'm not upset, and even if I was, it was my own damn fault. I should have known that being aggressive with you would make you wild too."

"But I _like_ it when you're aggressive with me," I insisted. "I've always liked that you're in charge when we have sex. It turns me on. I don't want that to change!" My voice began to take on a pleading note, and I tried to prevent myself from whining.

"Baby, that hasn't changed," he reassured me. "Your desires are still the same. What happened today was just an instinctive response. Your brain is working in overdrive trying to process all the new information it's receiving. Until you've adapted to the change, your first response to most stimuli is going to be either defensive or aggressive."

"I feel lost," I admitted weakly.

"You're not lost. I have you," he insisted. "I'll always have you." He continued repeating those words, shifting us onto our sides so he could rub my back. I tucked myself under his chin and breathed in the most important scent in my world.

"I think that maybe you're trying to stay too tightly in control of yourself," he suggested softly. "So often, I feel you getting worked up about something, and then you just shut it down. I think it might be easier for you to process stuff if you just allow yourself to feel what your instincts want you to feel."

"I'm not trying to shut it down," I protested. "I'm just trying not to lose control of myself."

Stroking my hair, he nodded his head. "That's what I mean, Sweetheart. I think you need to stop fighting so hard for control. Right now, it's normal for you to be out of control. You don't have to be perfect, Bella. I'm here, and I have you."

Nodding my agreement against his chest, I whispered, "Don't lose me."

"Never," he whispered back.

Over the next two months, I put Jasper's plan into action and stopped trying to suppress the instinctive reactions I had to everything. He was right, and I slowly began to feel more at home in my own skin, although we had to replace a lot of furniture due to my fits of rage. Jasper went as far as building a crummy little hut on the remote end of our property so that we could receive deliveries there without exposing me to the tempting scent of the delivery guy.

I continued to be very emotionally volatile, but Jasper was my rock. He took everything I dished at him without complaint, even realizing when I needed him to pick a fight with me. Although I never bit him again, we ended up in many wrestling matches due to my temper, most of which ended in fantastic vampire make up sex. We quickly realized that running really helped me stay centered, so we spent a lot of time playing chase in the wilderness around us, enjoying the changes as the long northern winter began to slip into spring.

We also did a lot of reading, and I enjoyed letting him share his favorite histories and novels with me. We did a lot of projects to improve the little house, trying to make it a little more updated before Peter and Charlotte decided to join us. However, we also spent a lot of time in stillness and quiet, just being together. It was almost a form of meditation for me, and when Jasper had to make trips into civilization, I found it helpful to pretend he was lying beside me as I waited for the time to pass. Eventually, I became able to remain upright and functional while he was away, although the physical discomfort of separation never lessened.

Coming to the end of the usual route of our morning run, I tipped my face up into the sun. The day was clear and the salty ocean air felt measurably warmer that day. Jasper jogged up beside me, and together we sat down on our favorite rock at the top of the low cliff overlooking the beach. I leaned back against him, and we spent awhile just enjoying the sound of the water crashing into the shore.

Jasper tensed suddenly and I jerked my head around to see what had disturbed him. I saw the movement of the little fishing boat seconds before the scent of the human fishermen on board reached me. Without a thought, I was on my feet, moving toward the edge of cliff and toward the only source of relief for the burning in my throat. There was no thought in my mind other than reaching that boat and the humans on it.

Jasper literally pulled me back by my ankle, yanking me to the ground and rolling on top of me to keep me there.

"Let me go!" I screamed, struggling against him. I broke his hold several times, but he reacted as if he knew my next move before I did and always managed to pin me before I could get away. "I want it!" I kept screaming at him, unable to comprehend why he would stand in my way.

"I know you want it, Bella," he answered softly, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me back against his chest again. "And at the end of the year, if you still want it, I won't stand in your way. But if I let you go now and you regret it later, I'll never forgive myself. So for right now, Bella, I have you."

Turning to face him, I clung to his shirt. "Make me not want this!" I begged. "Make me not want it!"

His lips met mine and he tipped my head back, allowing him to trace the bite mark he left when he changed me with a fingertip. We had discovered that it was extremely sensitive to his touch, and he often used it as a distraction when my emotions were out of control. I moaned into his mouth and opened the fly of his jeans.

Just then, the wind shifted, bringing the scent of the humans back to the forefront of my mind. Pushing Jasper away, I tried to launch myself toward the beach again. Jasper caught me by the hand, and faster than I thought possible, he slammed me to the ground. My breath involuntarily left my lungs as my chest hit the ground, and the weight of his body slamming into mine shocked me.

"I'm gonna make you forget all about that boat," Jasper growled huskily, pulling my arms behind me forcefully. Tugging my jeans down with one hand, he ripped my panties off before thrusting a single finger into my pussy. "I'm gonna make you forget everything except my name, Bella."

With that, he pushed his dick into me, deep and hard until his balls were mashed tight against my ass. The sensation of that thrust suddenly obliterated my urge to struggle against him and the desire to fight transformed into the desire to submit to him. My body became passive, eager to receive every stroke and sensation that he could give me.

"There's my girl," Jasper rasped into my ear. "I'm gonna fuck you hard, and you're gonna take it like a good girl," he ordered, driving his dick into me over and over.

"Yes," I agreed breathily, giving myself over to him and the sensation of what he was doing to me. He tugged my hips back and I automatically pulled my knees up to support my weight. The new angle hit me just right, and seconds later I was screaming his name into the damp grass as I came hard. His pace became erratic and he growled deeply as he came inside me.

Pressing a kiss to the back of my neck, he pulled out of me, causing me to whimper at the loss of our connection.

"You okay, Sweetheart?" he asked, his voice almost hesitant. "Your emotions tell me you're okay, but I still feel like I should ask after that," he continued. "It was pretty intense."

Rolling over to face him, I reached a hand up to play with his hair. "I'm good now," I whispered. "That was exactly what I needed." From the corner of my eye, I noticed the boat pulling away from us, the occupants unaware of the danger they had escaped. "Will I ever get me back?" I asked flatly, unable to reconcile the raving lunatic that had just tried so desperately to reach the innocent fishermen with the person I knew I was.

He shifted me into his lap and held me tight. "It will get better," he said gently, running his fingers through my tangled hair. "You're doing so well, Bella. Even now, you're relaxed even though the humans are still in range. You are still the same woman underneath your new instincts, and you will get yourself back, I promise."

I tried to let his words reassure me, but I still felt like a failure as we dressed and headed back to the house. Jasper looked at me knowingly several times during the walk back, but he didn't press me. His cell phone rang as soon as his foot hit the front step, and I rolled my eyes, realizing it was probably Peter with his impeccable timing.

Jasper answered and switched it to speaker phone. I could hear the conversation clearly either way, but this way it felt less like they were talking about me in front of my face.

"I'm gettin' bad vibes about my Little Bird," Peter said abruptly. "What trouble are ya'll gettin' into up there?"

"No trouble," Jasper assured him with a relaxed smile. "Bella's doing really well, but she's still convinced she's out of control and is going to feel this way forever."

"Sounds like it's time for us to put her on the straight and narrow," Peter teased.

I tried to be annoyed at the humor at my expense, but the thought of being reunited with Peter and Char forced a huge smile on my face.

"Judging by Bella's grin, that's a good idea," Jasper agreed, giving me a cheerful wink.

Peter estimated the two of them would arrive in about two days time, so as soon as Jasper hung up the phone, we got to work dusting and airing out the unused bedroom. The time passed quickly, and a day and a half later, I was practically ripping Peter out of the car as he pulled into the driveway. Jasper and Char watched in amusement before greeting each other with an affectionate hug.

"Lookin' good, Birdie," Peter said, tucking me under his arm. "Your eyes are starting to darken up already."

Charlotte walked over to us and I stepped away from Peter to launch myself into her arms. She looked into my eyes with her vivid red ones and tugged me toward the trail into the woods.

"Come tell me all about it, Sugar," she ordered, waving casually at Jasper and Peter as we walked away. I absently led her to a favorite spot of mine, updating her on the last two months.

"I bit him, Char," I admitted, again wishing my tears could actually fall. "I love him more than anything on earth, but I bit him just like I was one of Maria's minions."

"Bella, it's not the same thing," Char said, pulling me to lean against her. "The bites we got dealing with Maria's brats were just mindless acts of aggression. That bite was an expression of your connection to Jasper. Deep down, you recognized your mate and wanted to mark him. It's not uncommon."

She continued to reassure me that my behavior was not unheard of, and eventually we rejoined Peter and Jasper at the house. Peter took a turn trying to convince me that I wasn't abnormal, but I still found it hard to believe.

"I think you're just spendin' too much time thinkin' about it, Bella," Peter finally sighed in exasperation. "You need a distraction, something to keep you busy. Most newborns are so busy fighting for survival that they don't have time to analyze their reactions."

The three of them stared at each other intently before simultaneously grinning at each other.

"What?" I demanded.

"We're gonna put ya through boot camp, Little Bird," Peter answered happily. "We'll keep ya so busy that ya can't waste your time obsessing about your completely normal behavior."

Thinking about how much better running made me feel, I immediately agreed. Raising an eyebrow at Jasper, I sauntered to the door. "Let's go make me a badass, Baby," I purred, smiling when he jumped up to join me.

The training was fantastic. The physical effort was a great way to channel my restless energy and aggression, and I quickly noticed that I was much calmer during down time. I also became less defensive and fearful when I was approached unexpectedly. It was as if my body was realizing that I no longer needed the autopilot control of my powerful newborn instincts now that I knew how to handle myself.

Peter, Charlotte, and Jasper were all patient and thorough teachers, drilling me on the basics until the movements were automatic. Then, they began instructing me in more complex maneuvers that required me to suppress my newborn instincts. Those were more difficult to master, but before long, I was able to hold my own against the three of them.

Finally, we moved on to aggressive maneuvers, my personal favorite. It reminded me of hunting, and I enjoyed imagining Victoria's face on which ever of my trainers I was sparring with.

"Well, I think you're just about ready for anything the vampire world can throw at 'ya," Peter praised me as I helped him up from the ground after taking him down for a mock kill.

Smirking confidently, I tossed my hair over hair over my shoulder. "Maybe I'm planning on throwing some stuff at certain members of the vampire world," I answered tartly.

I was still torn between hunting Victoria down to avenge the murders of my family and ignoring her existence in hopes of never seeing her again. She was crafty and a master manipulator, and I didn't like the thought of having to spend eternity looking behind my back or worrying that she was building another army to use against my friends and family.

We kept in close contact with Emmett and Rose, who was steadily earning my good opinion. Her e-mails about Edward's bitching and moaning were entertaining. According to Rose, the Cullen house echoed with phrases such as "It's not fair!" and "How do you people live like this?" while he adjusted to life without the ability to read minds. Rose said that they were all pretty much giving him the cold shoulder until he started acting like an adult, Carlisle included.

Rosalie also kept us filled in on the rest of the Cullen family as well. Malcolm had apparently whisked Alice away to his property in the Scottish highlands so they could adjust to their new relationship. According to Rose, the two of them were hilarious because although they were clearly bonded, they had almost nothing in common and struggled to understand each other.

In her most recent e-mail, Rose had mentioned that she and Emmett wanted to visit in the near future, and all of us were enthusiastic about it. We expected them to arrive within the next week or so, and I was really looking forward to some new faces.

I loved my family, but I was starting to feel a little stir crazy and isolated out here. My blood lust was gradually improving, but I didn't feel ready to test myself around humans yet. Peter and Char had recently started bringing items from their victims back home with them to help me acclimate to being around the scent. It was difficult, but I wasn't tearing out of the house toward the car every time they came home from hunting anymore.

I hit "send" on my reply to Rose's message and closed the laptop, looking up as Jasper walked in the front door with an envelope in his hands. His expression was a little odd, so I smiled questioningly up at him.

"It's official," he said, tossing the envelope gently into my lap. "I've got all the documents from Jenks, and you're a Whitlock now."

His tone was light, but his expression remained a little tense, and he just looked 'off' to me. Confused, I quickly thumbed through the contents of the envelope in search of what could have upset him. Before I could ask him what was wrong, he headed toward the door, muttering that he was going hunting as he walked out.

At that moment, Peter walked out of the spare bedroom, buttoning up his jeans with a smirk. I was surprised at how quickly I had adapted to hearing other people have sex and ignoring the fact that they could hear me. The four of us weren't in each other's faces about sex, but nobody tried to hide it either. Peter was clearly sporting his post-action grin as he sauntered over to join me at the desk.

"What got J's panties in a bunch?" he asked, tugging a chair over to sit with me.

"I don't know," I answered. "He just tossed these at me and walked out without an explanation. It's so unlike him."

Peter flipped through the envelope, his face immediately illuminating with his comprehension.

"Little Bird, he's just feelin' weird about your name change. He'll get over it, don't worry."

"What do you mean? He doesn't want me to take his name?" I asked, unable to believe that Jasper didn't want me to share the Whitlock name.

Peter chuckled and shook his head chidingly. "Bella, I reckon there's nothin' that would make him happier than for you to take his name," he explained. "He's just a little old fashioned in some ways, and I'm sure he feels funny about you takin' his name without you bein' man and wife."

Shocked speechless, I stared at Peter. "He wants to marry me?" Marriage was just something that I hadn't considered. I knew I would love Jasper for the rest of eternity, but I hadn't thought about exchanging vows with him.

"Duh," Peter responded drily.

"But he's never said anything," I protested weakly.

"Sugar, since when has Jasper ever done anything to push you in a direction you didn't want to go?"

I was on my feet before Peter even finished speaking.

"Go get 'im, Birdie," he said gently as I ran out of the house, following Jasper's scent to one of our favorite little clearings in the forest nearby. He was sitting on a fallen log, absently toying with something small in one of his hands.

He looked up when he heard my approach, and I ran to kneel in front of him. His beautiful amber eyes looked down at me in surprise and concern. Making a conscious effort to relax the shield around my emotions, I tried to let him feel my love for him, focusing on how permanent it was. His face relaxed into the little grin he always got when he got an emotional high.

"Marry me?" I asked bluntly, grasping his legs tightly. His became absolutely still, his face a mask of shock.

"Jasper Whitlock, will you please do me the honor of being my husband?" I asked softly, reaching up to touch his face.

He continued to stare down at me, and my still heart ached as I waited for his answer. Ever so slowly, a smile spread across his face, and I took an unnecessary breath in relief.

"I do believe you stole my line," he drawled, his accent heavier than usual. "But since you did," he continued, reaching into his pocket, "My answer is 'yes', Bella. I will marry you." As he finished speaking, he slipped a ring onto my finger.

I looked down in amazement, taking in the classic beauty of the round diamond in the center.

"How long have you had this?" I asked bluntly.

"Awhile," he hedged, tugging me up into his arms and pressing his mouth to mine. Our kiss was deep and slow, the perfect physical expression of the connection we shared. Endless minutes later, we separated and I settled comfortably into his lap.

"So, you had a ring," I began, "But you've never mentioned getting married." Looking up into his eyes, I forced myself to ask my question. We were building a future together, and I didn't want any hidden fears to destabilize our foundation. "Were you afraid I would say 'no'?"

Pulling my left hand to his mouth, he pressed a kiss to the ring on my finger. "No, Sweetheart. I was pretty sure you'd say 'yes' if I asked. I just didn't want to pressure you because I know it's not really important to you."

"But it _is_ important to you, apparently," I said firmly. "And that makes it important to me. I hate that this is something that's been on your mind, but you didn't share it with me. I love you, and nothing you could say to me will change that. Please don't hide something like this from me ever again."

"I'm sorry, Bella," he sighed. "I didn't think of it as hiding from you. I just kept telling myself I'd ask you when you were ready. I was willing to wait," he said, shrugging.

"But you were so upset earlier," I reminded him. "Obviously, the waiting was taking a toll on you. From now on, no more keeping this kind of stuff to yourself," I ordered.

"Yes, ma'am," he agreed happily. "Now let's get back home before Peter starts planning a hillbilly theme for our wedding."

"Shit," I grumbled, breaking into a run, nightmares of ostentatious white trash nuptials running through my mind.

**I am SO sorry for the horrible delay. Some of the catch phrases from my last three weeks are… "We need to put in a few stitches to realign her eyebrow" "4 days of vomiting" and "the tumor isn't responding to the chemo." Big thanks to myxni and nics for keeping me sane while I took my 2 year old to the plastic surgeon, fought the stomach flu with my 4 year old, and tried to support my mother-in-law as she fights cancer. **

**Ok, whining done now! I hope you all have a joyful Christmas, and as a gift, I have posted the hot tub outtake I did for the Fandom for Preemies. I started it as a new story since I think there are a few more outtakes to come for this story! I hope you enjoy!**

**Two recommendations for you, in case you're like me and live under a rock, lol! First, tHirTeEn (sorry if I fucked up the caps- I did look it up, but I get a little dyslexic with caps!) by twolipps. People have been telling me to read this forever. I finally did, and damn am I hooked! Second, Behind Enemy Lines by Jazzella. This one is so crazy smart it makes my head hurt a little (but in that good kind of way!) She is spinning a really cool twist on the story leading up to Bella's birthday party. These two stories are both underappreciated in the reviews department, so please leave love if you check them out!**

**Peace, love, and joy,**

**heavy**


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty-three

**Yet again, I apologize for the delay. I was on vacation, dining with princesses! **

**Thank you to mynxi for being my beta and giving me the tough love I needed to get this done.**

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer.**

**JPOV**

"Shut up, you fuckers," Emmett muttered grumpily, attempting to brush some of the mud off of his jeans. He and I had just hunted, and Peter had come along as a spectator/heckler. I had contented myself with a moose, but Emmett had insisted on chasing down an ornery bear, and his clothes were worse for wear. Peter, of course, was having a field day with jokes about table manners and Emmett's general aptitude for hunting wildlife. I was mostly keeping my mouth shut, but let's face it, Peter's a funny guy, and eventually I couldn't stifle my laughter.

Emmett and Rosalie had joined us about a week ago, immediately after Bella called to inform them that we were engaged. Bella had asked Emmett to officiate at our ceremony, and with his typical enthusiasm, he had already completed the online course to become ordained.

Sighing to myself, I wished that Emmett's enthusiasm for the ceremony was contagious. While I had no doubts that Bella loved me and would be my partner forever, over the last few days she had become tense and withdrawn whenever our wedding plans were mentioned. Initially, I brushed it off to her emotional volatility, but as her attitude continued, I was beginning to wonder if she was having second thoughts about formally getting married.

We approached the house and I could feel Bella's frustration and tension from outside. Stopping, I ran my hand through my hair and took a deep breath.

"That bad?" Peter asked sympathetically. He was aware of my concerns about Bella, but he was being uncharacteristically tight lipped with his opinion on the matter.

"Yep, that bad," I confirmed, mentally squaring my shoulders. "Might as well go see what happened."

Peter and Emmett followed me inside where we took in the sight of Bella, Char, and Rose looking at wedding dresses on the laptop. Bella was vibrating with stress and Rosalie and Charlotte were both radiating confusion and concern.

Walking over to them, I knelt down in front of Bella, taking one of her hands in mine. I smiled for a moment as I felt the peace that touching her caused.

"What's wrong, Sweetheart?" I asked, looking up into her orange-brown eyes.

She yanked her hand away and stood up, kicking the chair behind her as she glared down at me.

"Five thousand dresses on ten different sites, that is what's wrong Jasper!" she snapped angrily. Char and Rose quietly stood up and made their way to the front door. Char blew me a kiss as she led the way outside, leaving Bella and me alone in the house. "None of these are me, Jasper," Bella ranted, gesturing angrily toward the laptop. "Not even dressed up me!"

Desperately trying to put myself in her shoes enough to understand her frustration, I gently tugged her down so that she was kneeling on the floor with me. "Bella, I'm sure you'll find something you like eventually. There's no hurry, just take your time and keep looking."

She stared back at me, her lip trembling with emotion. "It's not just the dress Jasper!" she wailed. "Charlotte and Rosalie have been great, not pushy about anything, but none of this feels right! Not the locations, not the dresses, not even the fucking flowers! None of it's me, and that leaves us with _nothing_ that we need for a wedding!"

Cupping her face with one hand, I leaned forward so that our foreheads were touching. "Sweetheart, technically all we need for a wedding is you, me, and a witness. The rest is all just decorations, and you're beautiful as you are."

Relieved, I watched her eyes soften and her body relax as some of her tension eased. "Call Emmett back here," I teased, "and I'll marry you right here, right now."

Her expression morphed into a full smile and I felt her happiness rush over me. "You're right," she said firmly. "We have everything we need." Her eyes drifted down to my ratty old flannel and she raised her eyebrow. "Except maybe a different shirt for you."

"Seriously?" I asked through my laughter. "Want me to call Emmett back?"

"No way," she answered firmly. "Let's go find him." With that, she was out the door tracking the others.

For a second, I sat there staring after her in shock, but I eventually kicked myself into gear and chased after my bride.

Less than thirty minutes later, Charlotte and I stood side by side in a pretty little clearing not far from the house. Emmett and Rosalie were waiting nearby, watching Bella and Peter walk toward us, arm in arm. The others had been pretty shocked when Bella and I tracked them down to inform them that were getting married now, but to their credit, they rolled with the change in plans.

I took in the sight of Bella, who was barefoot in her worn jeans and plain black tank top. Her hair spilled down her back in loose curls, tangled from our happy chase through the forest. She looked natural, beautiful, and perfectly Bella. They finally reached us and Peter grinned at me as he placed Bella's hands in mine before stepping over to stand with Char. Staring down at Bella, our hands clasped together in front of us, I was overcome with a feeling of profound peace and certainty. 

"You look perfect," I whispered, smiling down at her relaxed face. She smiled back up at me before quickly reaching up to rip the shirt off my back, leaving my chest completely bare and revealing the fact that I had neglected to button my jeans that morning.

"So do you," she murmured, blatantly eying me up. Peter and Charlotte both chuckled and Emmett coughed as he attempted to stifle his laugh.

"Before we lose anymore clothing," he said, his expression growing uncharacteristically solemn, "I'd like to begin." Clearing his throat, he looked briefly at Rosalie, who seemed to give him some wordless encouragement. Returning his focus to Bella and me, he continued, "We are gathered here, as friends and family, to witness the union of Bella to Jasper. We love you each as individuals, and we love you as a couple. We are here today to witness your vows to each other as you come together in marriage. Thank you for the gift of your friendship and the privilege of sharing in your joy."

He paused for a moment and I took the chance to relish the sincerity he was projecting. Emmett was normally very light hearted and carefree, but when he felt strongly about something his emotions were deep. He grinned at me, revealing how hard he was working to maintain his solemn demeanor. "Before you exchange rings, would either of you like to say anything?" he asked.

Bella surprised me by speaking first. "Jasper, when you walked back into my life, I wasn't sure it was a good thing. I was afraid of everything. So afraid of losing more that I didn't want to risk having anything or anyone. Fear dictated my existence, but by just sticking around and being yourself, you taught me that love is worth risking loss. You taught me to trust again, and that trust became love. I am no longer afraid, and I thank you for that."

Her eyes swam with venom and she clung tightly to my hand before continuing, "You've given me everything, and now I give you everything that I am. Before these people that are my family, I give you my vow to be yours for eternity, as well as my promise that whatever the future holds for us, we will face it together. I love you, Jasper Whitlock, and I am honored to become your wife."

As her words faded into the air surrounding us, I bathed in the love and trust that I felt from her. Rubbing my thumb against her palm, I took a deep breath and spoke from my heart. "Bella, for most of my existence, I never dreamed it was possible to live in peace, let alone joy. Eventually, my friends led me to a different way of life and I learned that it was possible to experience this life without constant violence. I eventually found contentment and a peaceful way to live, but I never knew joy until I found you again. When I walked back into your life, I was lost. Finding you allowed me to find myself again and I thank you for that."

Projecting the love I felt for her and the pride I felt for both of us, I pulled our clasped hands up to place a kiss on one of her knuckles. Choosing to repeat her apt words, I made my vow to her. "You've given me everything and now I give you everything that I am. Before these people that are my family, I vow to love you forever and to stand beside you in front of every privilege and adversity eternity will afford us. I love you, Bella Swan, and I am honored to become your husband."

For a moment, everything was silent, as if the universe itself had paused to mark the moment we became one. Within a second, the sounds of forest life around us resumed, but the shocked looks on the faces of our friends told me I wasn't the only one who had felt the change.

Emmett faked a nervous cough and grinned sheepishly. "Ummm, I hate to ask this after all those beautiful words, but do you guys even have rings to exchange?"

Flashing a grin at Emmet, I slid my hand into my pocket to pull out the simple platinum band I had selected soon after Bella accepted my engagement ring. Looking deep into her eyes, I slowly slid it into place on her finger. "With this ring, I thee wed," I said firmly.

I was opening my mouth to tell Bella that we could get a ring for me later, when she surprised me by nimbly plucking a heavily etched silver band from her jeans pocket. Her eyes twinkled as she pushed it firmly onto my finger. "With this ring, I thee wed," she repeated.

Upon closer examination, I saw that the pattern etched into the ring bore a marked resemblance to the overlapping bite marks that covered my body. Amazed, I looked back toward Bella. "How did you get this?"

She shrugged her shoulders bashfully. "It's the only thing about the wedding planning that went right," she answered. "I found a place on the internet and chatted back and forth with the artist until we got it just right. If you don't like it, we can get something else…"

"It's perfect, Bella," I interrupted, pulling her into my arms and up against my body for a passionate kiss. She relaxed into me, and we kissed until it felt as if our souls were touching. Eventually, we broke apart, only to realize we were being stared at by four other aroused vampires.

Emmett's sense of humor came to the rescue again. "Well, I was gonna say you were supposed to get my permission before doing that, but damn, I can't argue with those results." Everyone laughed, and he continued, his voice becoming even more playful. "By the power vested in me by that website, I now pronounce you man and wife," he announced. "Now, the rest of us will just get out of your way so you can make good on the promise of that kiss," he teased.

Peter and Charlotte gave us a brief hug and Emmett and Rosalie waved casually as they all ran off, leaving me alone with my wife.

"Mrs. Whitlock," I said solemnly, pulling Bella back against my bare chest.

"Yes, Mr. Whitlock?" she asked, tilting her head to the side coquettishly.

"Let's go home and have sex for the first time as husband and wife," I suggested with a straight face.

"Sounds great," she deadpanned, only able to hold her serious expression for a second before getting the giggles. We grasped hands and walked slowly home, taking the time to enjoy the early spring sights and sounds in the forest.

When we made it to the house, the others were gone and there were no cars in the drive. Grateful that they had given us some privacy, I led Bella inside our temporary home.

I was struck by the stillness and peace that surrounded us, as if we were in our own little bubble that not even the sounds of nature could invade. I led her into our bedroom, chuckling when Bella surprised me by shoving me onto the bed. Immediately, she was on top of me, her hands and mouth travelling the planes of my chest.

After so many years of hiding my scars, it was still an amazing sensation to be touched there, and Bella's enthusiasm for my bare torso was a real turn on.

"Love you so much," she mumbled between kisses. "Every muscle, every mark, every part of you."

Eager to feel her skin under my hands, I slipped her shirt over her head and removed her bra. Before I could get my hands to her bare breasts, she slid downward, quickly tugging the remaining buttons of my fly open. I groaned out loud when her hand began to pump my dick even as she yanked my jeans off. With one hand, she reached out to pull me into a sitting position on the edge of the bed.

"Stand up and fuck my mouth, Mr. Whitlock," she ordered with a sultry grin, kneeling in front of me and taking my dick into her mouth. She knew I got off on seeing my cock all the way down her throat, so she made a big show of taking the whole length and swallowing, flirting up at me through her eyelashes the whole time.

"Damn, I love your mouth, Mrs. Whitlock," I groaned as I fisted her hair and began thrusting, loving the fact that I no longer had to worry about hurting her when she went down on me. She allowed me to control the pace, but she kept teasing me with her mouth, changing the pressure of her tongue, or using her teeth to keep me on the edge.

"Enough, Bella. Suck my cock now," I ordered, desperately hoping she would comply. She closed her eyes and moaned around me, causing me to curl my toes in pleasure. She increased the suction of her mouth, and I thrust into her, helplessly chasing my building orgasm. Bella slid one hand up my thigh, cupping my balls gently before tugging firmly on them. That sensation triggered my orgasm, and I moaned loudly as I shot my load down her throat. She sucked me thoroughly clean and leaned back to smirk up at me.

"Your turn," I said, tugging her back up onto the bed and yanking her jeans down. "Spread those legs wide," I ordered firmly, positioning her where I wanted her. "I want to see exactly what I'm doing to you."

She gave a throaty moan at my words and I smiled at the way she loved to be ordered around in bed. She quickly complied with my instructions and I playfully dragged a fingertip through her wet folds and tapped her clit.

"Such a pretty pussy," I murmured, leaning down to press a soft kiss onto her clit. She bucked toward me, looking for more attention, but I pulled back and tapped her sharply on the clit again. I was unsurprised when that action prompted another loud moan and a new trickle of moisture from her pussy.

"My Bella likes it so rough," I teased, tapping her again. She writhed against my fingertip, so I relented and pressed my lips back to her pussy, sucking firmly on her clit. I felt her moving her upper body and raised my eyes to see her staring down at the sight of me going down on her.

I pulled my face back and teased her wet folds with my fingertip. "You like to watch me touching you, Baby?" I asked, slowly slipping one finger into her pussy.

"Yes," she whispered, her eyes fixed on my hand.

"Enjoy the view," I murmured, quickly reaching behind me to move the dresser. Positioning it so that the mirror would give her an unobstructed view of what I was doing to her, I returned my mouth to her sweet spot. She moaned and tensed as I simultaneously penetrated her with another finger and spread her hood wide. I twisted my fingers to rub her g-spot and tongued her clit slowly, hyper aware of the fact that she was still watching.

I paused to look up at her again, taking in her lust filled black eyes. "I was gonna make you come with my mouth," I said slowly. "But I think I want to watch you watching me, so I guess my fingers will have to do."

I slid a third finger into her, groaning when she bit her bottom lip. Using my other hand to keep her clit exposed, I pressed my thumb against the engorged nub. Bella moaned weakly and I felt the walls of her pussy begin to tremble around my fingers as I slid them in and out of her.

"That's it," I coaxed, enjoying the mixture of pleasure and concentration on her face. "Keep those eyes open and watch my fingers while I make you come." Keeping the pressure on her clit, I moved my thumb slowly back and forth.

I felt the walls of her pussy contract as her orgasm began, but the only sound she made was a quiet sigh as she continued watching my fingers in the mirror. I stopped pumping and returned to rubbing her g-spot, and was gratified when I felt another orgasm around my fingers. She moaned and tossed her head back, finally looking away from the mirror.

I was unable to resist pressing another kiss to her clit, and I continued kissing up her abdomen until I reached her mouth. "Amazing," she sighed against my lips.

"I agree," I sighed, lining my throbbing dick up against her opening. "And it isn't over yet," I said, sliding home into her slick opening.

She wrapped her legs around my body, holding me as close as possible and I began to move. I kept the pace slow, focusing on every stroke in and out of her and allowing the pleasure to slowly build in intensity for both of us.

She moaned my name and rocked up against me, so I slipped my hand between us to pinch her clit, sending her over the edge again. My own climax quickly followed and I soared as I experienced this ecstasy for the first time joined together with my wife.

"I love you, Bella Whitlock," I sighed, pulling out of her and rolling her onto my chest.

"Back at 'ya," she answered, idly tracing the scars on my chest. She was silent for a moment, but eventually she sat up to look down at me. "So there's something I've been thinking about trying," she began hesitantly, "but I don't know if it's even possible."

"Yes?" I asked, waiting patiently for her to explain what she wanted. She looked flustered for a few seconds before she finally told me what she had in mind. My eyes went wide as she described her idea, and I couldn't stop myself from blurting out, "You're sure you want that, Bella? It'll be pretty painful and it's permanent."

She looked down at me, and I saw the resolve and love deep in her eyes. "I'm sure," she said, rolling away from me so that she was lying face down on the bed. "Now get over here and mark me." Thrilled at the thought of what she wanted me to do, I quickly complied, leaning down to press my lips to the middle of her back.

"I love you," I whispered again as I carefully aligned my mouth over her back bone and precisely bit down, wincing in sympathy when she hissed at the pain. "Are you still sure?" I asked her quietly. "Each one is gonna hurt like that."

"I'm sure," she answered simply. "No pain, no gain, just like a tattoo. Now get on with it," she ordered. I quickly followed her orders, carefully lining my mouth up to make the pattern she had described before biting down again. Over and over I repeated the action and eventually she stopped tensing at the sensation, becoming relaxed amid the burning she was feeling.

Over an hour later, I finally finished the last bite, leaving her with overlapping marks from the center of her back along the back sides of her arms, ending on the back of each hand. I carefully licked up the oozing venom and got a wet wash cloth from the bathroom to sooth the burning I knew she was experiencing.

"This should help a little," I said as I pressed the cool cloth against her back.

"It's okay," she mumbled. "I'm in the zone, I think. I can't wait to see it."

"You're amazing," I responded, lying down beside her and running my hand through her hair.

"Back at 'ya," she answered, nuzzling her head into my hand. We lay together and drifted into a completely relaxed state, rousing ourselves only when the others eventually returned to the house.

Three months after that day, we closed the door on our little cabin for the last time, eager to return to civilization and our home in Montana. While Bella still struggled with bloodlust, she had demonstrated enough control to be in populated areas for short periods after hunting. Her eyes had darkened to an orangish-amber color that wouldn't arouse human suspicion, so we decided that we had spent enough time in isolation and headed home.

We quickly settled back into the house we shared with Peter and Charlotte, although they were spending most of their time travelling at the moment, visiting other friends and just doing their own thing. They came and went as they pleased, and we were always happy to see them. We still treasured our time alone, however, and continued to spend most of our time together. Taking advantage of the high school diploma Jenks had created for her, Bella started some online college classes, and we frequently enjoyed discussing our opinions on her course work.

Not long after we settled in, Alice and Malcolm joined us for a short visit. While Bella still wasn't ready to accept Alice completely back into her life, I actually enjoyed their stay with us. Rather than feeling awkward, seeing her so happy with someone else actually gave me a great sense of peace. They were truly a well suited pair. Malcolm was a very calming influence on Alice and she didn't exhibit the exhausting, frenetic energy she used to display anymore. On the other hand, Alice had clearly caused Malcolm to become more connected to the world and to other vampires. He was less detached and socialized easier with those around him. They didn't stay with us long, but I felt sure they were likely to become more frequent visitors if Bella was able to overcome her feelings of resentment toward Alice.

Bella struggled with the process of fading out of Andy's life. For the first few months after her change, they had kept in touch via e-mail, but when Andy began making suggestions that they meet up, she realized that she just couldn't continue with the only relationship from her human life. Unwilling to "disappear" without giving Andy closure, she wrote him a final message explaining that she wouldn't be able to continue communicating with him. I held her tight through her tearless sobs as she hit the "send" button.

Surprisingly, Andy accepted her farewell without protest, simply saying that he assumed Bella was now like me and that he would always care about her. She was shocked that he had realized that something was different about me, but I wasn't surprised. He had struck me as a very perceptive person, even in the midst of his drug addiction. I sent him an e-mail of my own, wishing him well and instructing him to contact Jenks if he ever needed assistance with anything. The fact that he had saved Bella from having to exchange sex for shelter again had left me eternally in his debt, and I would do my damndest to make sure he had what he needed to start a new life.

Bella was working hard to overcome the anger she still harbored toward the Cullens for abandoning her in Forks. She was making good progress, but every once in awhile, Carlisle or Esme would voice an opinion too strongly in an e-mail and set her off again. To her credit, she always managed to stay polite, even when she was irritated with their overbearing affection.

Emmett and Rosalie were frequent visitors to our house, and for awhile they even toyed with the idea of buying their own property in the area. We convinced them that it would be a waste since they were always welcome at our place. Instead, I suggested they shop for real estate somewhere else that we could all visit for vacations. Emmett was Googling various remote spots with enthusiasm in search of the perfect location. Bella and Rose were steadily building a friendship from their mutual respect, which was a pleasant surprise to both Emmet and me.

Esme and Carlisle were trying hard to rebuild their relationship with Bella while respecting the boundaries she needed as she dealt with her anger. They e-mailed often and called every few weeks for short chats. According to the two of them, Edward was slowly adjusting to life without his power. Apparently, he had finally stopped the constant whining, but he was still resentful over what he considered the betrayal of his family. Carlisle and Esme were reacting with their usual patience and affection and were hopeful that he would eventually accept the changes in his life and become a better person. I had no idea if Bella had any intentions of trying to reverse the block, and I didn't really care. As long as Edward left Bella alone, I didn't care what he did with his life.

Esme had recently started asking to come out to visit us, but Bella and I both agreed that we would prefer to go out to New York to see them instead. We both felt strongly that our home was our refuge, and we wanted to keep it private with the exception of our closest friends. So we arranged to rent a home near the Cullen house, booked our private jet and packed our bags.

Bella was tense about the idea of flying since it would be her first experience in close quarters with a human, but I was confident that she would be able to handle it. She sat silently beside me as I drove us to the airport, visibly nervous, although her emotions were locked down tight.

"It'll be fine," I assured her, reaching over to wrap her little hand in mine. She rolled her eyes at me, but she squeezed my hand thankfully. "Seriously," I continued. "Worst case, you get a little tempted and I distract you with sex." I was rewarded with another eye roll, but she couldn't hide the tiny smile tugging at her mouth.

"You just want an excuse to join the Mile High Club," she said without heat.

"Not gonna lie, that'd be the icing on the cake," I admitted with a smile. She smiled back at me and leaned over to press a kiss to my cheek.

We reached the airport and Bella made it through the brief check in process without any difficulty, although she stopped breathing as a precaution. Within half an hour, we were in the air. Bella tucked herself tightly against me, actually giving a great impression of someone petrified of flying. The casual observer would have no idea that Bella's real terror was of losing control and draining the flight crew. After several minutes, she finally began to realize that she wasn't going to lose it and allowed herself to relax.

The flight passed quickly and although Bella tensed every time the co-pilot checked on us, she had no issues maintaining her control. She actually flashed the flight crew a bright smile as we exited the plane, unintentionally dazzling the two middle aged men. When I brought it to her attention, she looked so sheepish that I actually missed her human blush for a second, fondly remembering her human mannerisms.

My thoughts were cut short by Emmett's approach as he jogged onto the tarmac. Taking in the slim biker jacket Bella had tossed on over her cami, he let out a low whistle and gave her a once over ending only at her thick soled knee high boots.

"Hell's Bells," he teased. "Lookin' fierce Bella. You're rockin' a whole biker persona to match the body art!"

She giggled softly as she stepped closer to give him a hug. Reactions among our friends to the pattern of scars I had given her had been mixed. Peter and Char loved the effect. Rosalie was amazed and a little disgusted. Emmett was torn between thinking it was really cool and thinking it was painful to look at.

"You like?" she asked coyly. "I thought it might be a bit much for the Cullen family, but I love it."

Emmett eyed her carefully for half a second before calling her out. "Bella Whitlock, you're trying to ruffle Carlisle and Esme's feathers, aren't you?"

She opened her mouth to protest, but he held his hand up to forestall her reply. "No, no," he continued with a chuckle. "If you want to play the role of troubled girlfriend, I won't get in the way."

Tugging her back to my side to kiss the top of her head, I decided to break it up. "That's troubled wife, actually, Emmett," I drawled smoothly, gently leading Bella toward Emmett's ubiquitous Jeep. Emmett kept the teasing up as we piled into the truck.

"Edward's gonna love the new look, Bella," he enthused in an exaggerated voice. "Body art, bare arms, a leather jacket! I can't wait to see his reaction!"

I growled in warning, but Bella just rolled her eyes and clapped Emmett on the back of the head. Thankfully, Emmett took the hint and began filling us in on the minor idle gossip in the Cullen's extended circle of friends. Apparently, Tanya had made a brief visit, hoping to entice Edward now that he wasn't able to read her mind.

Emmett chortled as he described Edward's initial cold response to her invitation. We listened in amazement as he told us that as the week continued, Edward began to eye Tanya more enthusiastically. Unfortunately for him, by that time, Tanya had grown weary of Edward's whiney behavior. She spent a few more days shooting him down before finally getting bored and returning home to Alaska.

Bella maintained a dignified silence, but I smiled openly at the thought of Edward being taken down a notch or two. "Hearing" himself being admired by the human minds around him had long ago given him a big ego, and he could afford a dose of humility.

We turned off of the highway as we drew near to the Cullen's house and Bella and I immediately tensed as we picked up an unfamiliar vampire scent.

"Relax," Emmett said smoothly before we could question him. "We picked up the scent about a week ago. It's only one, and it seems like they just sniffed around a little and moved on. Nothing fresh for several days, so Carlisle thinks it was just a curious nomad. Bella relaxed slightly beside me, but I could feel that she was still nervous. I shared her hesitation to accept the easy explanation. Years of living with Maria had taught me to expect the worst.

I kept my eyes focused ahead of me and tested the air for more strange scents. However, it was the brutal emotional onslaught that was my first confirmation that we were in for trouble. I felt fear, rage, and the pain of my adoptive family, but surpassing all of it was a choking sensation of vengeance that I knew belonged to Victoria.

"Shit," Emmett breathed as he slammed the breaks and dove out of the Jeep, heading toward the chaotic scene in front of us. The scents of at least twenty vampires hit us as Bella and I followed quickly on his heels. The house had literally been overrun with newborns and as we stepped quietly through the front door I began a mental tally of enemies to be taken down.

The house was in a shambles and the Cullens had clearly put up a good fight. In fact, Rosalie still struggled against two male newborns, using every physical advantage she could against their superior strength. Emmett snarled viciously and immediately went to her aid. Edward was on the floor, covered in a pile of vampires who were viciously biting him wherever they could. He screamed in agony, and I spared a brief sympathetic thought for the pain he was in.

My focus was quickly brought to the horrifying sight of Carlisle being restrained on the sofa by several newborn vampires. In front of them stood Victoria, flanked by two other vampires who were holding Esme with her neck bared and exposed to the red head's gleaming teeth. Both Carlisle and Esme remained outwardly calm, but I could feel their fear for each other.

The vengeful vampire was so focused on her obsessive need for revenge that she hadn't even noticed our entrance. "Last chance," she snarled at Carlisle. "Tell me where to find Bella Swan, or your little wife loses her head."

"I've told you," he said, his voice calm yet desperate. "We don't know exactly where she is. We only know they have a house out west somewhere. They've been travelling- they could be anywhere," he lied, earning my admiration. Thankfully, he hadn't reacted to our presence and Victoria was still clueless that she had an audience as Bella stepped into the room, tossing aside her jacket and revealing her bare arms.

"No need to get ugly, Vic," Bella purred in a threatening tone. "If you want me, I'm right here. Come and get me. If you can," she sneered, assuming a battle ready half-crouch.

Victoria whipped around to face Bella, taking in the bite marks that decorated her arms and the self assured posture she had taken. Carlisle and Esme were temporarily forgotten as the easily distracted newborns followed the movements of their mistress. I grabbed the opportunity to leap over Bella and Victoria, landing neatly in front of the two vampires restraining Esme. Before they could react, I decapitated them, freeing Esme. She immediately flung herself on the newborns that were holding Carlisle down and quickly incapacitated one of them by ripping both arms off, allowing Carlisle to jump up and take the other vampire down.

Satisfied that they were capable of handling things from there, I turned back to Bella and Victoria, who were circling each other in the center of the large room. Victoria was snarling wildly, her manic expression matching the chaos of her emotions. Bella, on the other hand, was cool and collected, staring the red-head down with an aloof smirk. Victoria's little army had temporarily frozen, watching the battle that was ready to erupt. Emmett had helped Rosalie take down the two vampires that had attacked her and the couple began stalking toward the remaining invaders, taking down several before the others noticed and began to react.

"Go help them, Jasper," Bella instructed softly. "I'll be just fine here." Knowing that she was fully capable of defending herself, I forced myself to comply. It was difficult, because even though I was confident in her abilities, I hated the thought of her facing danger without me by her side. Against my will, I leapt at the nearest newborn and made quick work of dispatching him, keeping half of my attention on Bella.

Finally, Victoria grew too enraged to restrain herself any longer and flung herself toward Bella. Her speed was breathtaking, even for a vampire, but Bella read her intentions and easily dodged. Victoria literally howled in rage and launched herself toward Bella again, this time attempting to take her legs out from under her.

Bella neatly stepped around Victoria's attack, almost as if she were dancing. Victoria snarled and I was astounded at the level of rage and pain she was emitting. Again and again she lunged at Bella, but her anger was making her sloppy. Her attacks were vicious but out of control and Bella had no difficulty avoiding her. Bella still hadn't made contact with Victoria, but I could see her watching and evaluating, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

Finally, as the crazed nomad rushed her yet again, Bella quickly and precisely shot an arm out to punch Victoria cleanly in the face. The sound of the impact was staggering, and Victoria immediately dropped to the floor, clutching her shattered face.

"You took him from me," she panted, staring directly at Bella with her crimson eyes. "I'm going to take everything you care about from you. I took your family and now I'm going to take the one you love," she said flatly, immediately shifting her position and lunging straight for me. My muscles moved automatically to avoid the attack, but Bella was on her before she reached me, yanking her backwards in mid air.

"Wrong," Bella answered calmly. "You're not going to take anything from me ever again, Victoria. I couldn't protect my parents, but things are different now, and I will protect what's mine," she growled, spinning their joined bodies so that she had Victoria pinned to the floor. Bella whipped a hand out to grasp Victoria's hair, baring her neck for the killing strike.

Victoria's emotions began to calm as she read her death in Bella's eyes. "I would do it all again," she said softly. "James was worth it all."

Bella stared down at the subdued vampire, her expression flat and uncaring. "I pity you for believing that," she said coldly. "He wasn't worth the ground my father walked on, and neither are you." With that, Bella leaned forward and cleanly sliced Victoria's head off with her teeth. Before Victoria's head struck the floor, Bella was in my arms.

"It's over," she muttered absently as I quickly ran my hands over her to check for injuries. My brain knew that Victoria had never touched her, but something inside me just needed to be reassured that she was safe and sound.

"You're right, it's over," I said soothingly as I finished my examination. Her eyes were haunted and although her emotions were closed to me, I could read the fear and pain in her expression. Looking up, I verified that the Cullens had the other newborns under control. They would have quite a cleanup project ahead of them, but I felt no guilt about leaving them to take care of the mess they had allowed by not taking care of Victoria in Forks.

I picked Bella up and carried her toward the door. "I'm taking her out of here," I announced quietly. "She needs some time to process this. We'll check in with you tomorrow."

"Of course, Jasper," Carlisle answered quickly. "Thank you both for your help. We wouldn't have made it if you didn't arrive when you did." I nodded my acknowledgement at him and automatically caught the car keys Emmett tossed at me.

"Thanks, for the help, J," he said seriously. "Go take care of her now."

Sending him a shot of my gratitude, I wordlessly followed his directions, helping Bella into the Jeep and driving to the house we had rented. I had purposefully chosen one in the opposite direction from the house we had stayed in before, so the drive took several minutes.

She got out of the Jeep on her own power and followed me silently into the rental house. Before I even flipped the lights on, Bella wrapped herself around me, pressing her face into my chest and running her hands over my arms. It took me several seconds to realize she was checking me for injuries.

"I'm fine," I said soothingly. "No one even came close."

"She was going to hurt you," Bella answered woodenly, her hands still moving restlessly over my body.

I tipped her face upwards to look at me. "You didn't let her," I said simply. "You protected me and your family and we never have to worry about Victoria again."

I was actually surprised when my words seemed to reach her and her face relaxed. In the next second, she had her hands in my hair, tugging my head down to press our lips together. Our fear for each other's safety and the lingering battle aggression morphed into passion and we literally ripped the clothes off of each other.

I wasn't gentle with her as I dropped to the floor, but rather than protesting, she simply shifted her body to get my dick closer to her pussy. Without a word, I entered her, moaning at the physical sensation as well as the emotional connection. We were each using our bodies to assure the other that we were safe and sound, and every touch and movement was meaningful as well as pleasurable.

Bella came quickly, screaming wordlessly and I quickly followed. As soon as I was capable of conscious thought, I carried her into the shower. We cleaned each other off and made love again in the water, our joining slow and deep this time.

After I made a high speed, bare-ass run to the Jeep for our forgotten luggage, we curled up together in front of the fireplace. I played with Bella's hair as the heat quickly dried the silken strands. Her body was relaxed against me, but I wasn't picking up her emotions. Concerned that she was still in shock, I quietly asked her, "How ya doin' with everything, Sweetheart?"

"I just feel kind of tired and empty," she answered after a moment. "Why? Are you waiting for a big breakdown or something?" Her tone was curious rather than defensive, so I allowed myself a small laugh at the question.

"No, I'm not expecting you to break down, Bella," I said in a mock-insulted tone. "I just know that getting revenge can bring a lot of feelings to the surface, and I wanted to make sure you were dealing with things okay."

Bella looked up at me, shaking her head negatively. "It wasn't revenge, Jasper," she insisted softly. "Vengeance implies retribution or punishment. Victoria didn't have the ability to give me my family back, and I don't think death was a punishment to her."

Shocked at one of the emotions I was suddenly picking up from her, I stared down at her. "You really feel pity for her?" I asked in amazement.

She shrugged slightly. "A little," she admitted. "Most of me hates her. She wasn't worth my family when she was alive, and her death certainly didn't make losing them any less painful. But part of me imagines what it would be like to exist without you, and then I can imagine committing all kinds of atrocities to destroy whoever took you from me."

I shuddered at the thought of life without my mate and allowed myself a brief flash of sympathy for Victoria. My anger at the pain she had caused Bella quickly over shadowed that sympathy, but I could at least admit that I hoped Victoria had moved on to some sort of peace.

A flash of light caught my attention from the French doors leading onto the deck.

"Look, it's a meteor shower," I said quickly, dragging Bella outside to watch. I had always enjoyed looking at the stars, drawing comfort through my long years in the sense of how microscopic we were in the scheme of the universe. Bella snuggled into me, and we stood there until the small hours of the morning, relishing the peace around us and the majesty of the sight of pieces of the universe raining down on our little planet.

**AN-**

**Wow, so you can probably tell that we're about done here! A short epi to follow and that's a wrap! I have a few outtakes in mind already, but if there's something you'd like to hear about, give me a holler and I'll see what I can come up with! **

***blushes* Sooooo, among the many ideas I'm tossing around for future stories are a few SUPER raunchy concepts. I mean, real porn-with-a-plot ideas: essentially stories built around sex. Now I know that isn't everyone's cup of tea, so I built an "alter-ego" to post these under just in case I ever get them written. If you think it's something you'd be into, put heavilysalacious on alert. If you're offended by any type of sex between any two (or three or four or more) people, these aren't for you. No worries, I have lots of other "mainstream" ideas that I'll write as heavyinfinity. I just wanted a place to let my inner sex kitten out to play **

**Now the love notes!**

**Dearest MM! Happy belated birthday, working girl! I missed you so- so glad we're reconnected!**

**Nics- thanks for taking care of Jasper while I was in Florida! I'm still waiting for him to come back though. *taps foot impatiently* Seriously, give him back. It's my turn!**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Love,**

**heavy **


	34. Epilogue

Chapter Thirty-four

The Epilogue

**Beta'd by mynxi. How lucky I am to have her. Many thanks to pixiewriter for pre-reading and monitoring the cheesiness level! **

**Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer.**

**JPOV  
**

I stood on the large patio of the house on Isle Esme, admiring the way the sunlight reflected off Bella's skin as the sun began to set. She was leaning against the wall, looking down over the pristine beach. Even after just over a decade together, the sight of her still caused my dead heart to twitch in my chest, unable to fully believe that she was mine.

The simple, black, bandeau bikini she wore amplified the perfection of her pale skin and perfectly framed her "tattoo." The curved criss-crosses my upper teeth had created overlapped each other, starting between her shoulder blades, arching up to her shoulders, and continuing down the outside of each arm to the end of each middle finger. Bella had told me that she wanted to wear my marks on her skin in recognition of the strength it took for me to walk away from my past. Personally, I just loved the fact that it was another sign that she was mine.

As the breeze brought Bella's sweet scent toward me, I thought about the contrast between the peaceful ocean in front of us and the memory of the disorder of our first year together. Even compared to my years with Maria, the violence and emotional turmoil of our early relationship was mind boggling. I thought that Victoria's death would be the end of the chaos, but even after she was destroyed, things remained rather chaotic for awhile.

I remembered clearly the drama at the Cullen house the morning after Bella took Victoria down. She and I drove over early to see if they needed any assistance with the clean up. Of course, they had things well in hand by that time. Everyone was uninjured with the exception of Edward. Although he was intact for the most part, he was sporting quite a few new bite marks on his arms and neck.

I could feel his anger and resentment, and I made sure to keep my expression neutral when I looked at him, unwilling to make him feel self conscious about the marks he would wear forever. We greeted the others and verified that no one else was injured. Carlisle and Esme assured us they were all fine and thanked us again for our assistance. After politely inquiring to make sure we were also uninjured, they happily congratulated us on our marriage.

Edward's rage immediately flared to life. "Oh, yes," he sneered. "Congratulations to the perfectly matched pair of scarred freaks! You're crazy if you think you'll last more than a year together!"

Bella and I just stared in shock at his petty anger, but Carlisle immediately stood up and walked over to stand in front of him. "Edward, as we discussed earlier, there are conditions to your presence here. You will either be polite to everyone in this house, or you will leave." Everyone froze, shocked that Carlisle would threaten his first "son" with banishment. Edward's face was a mask of anger and disbelief. Without a word, he stood and walked out of the house, his sense of self righteous betrayal pouring off him in waves.

It turned out that he _really_ left, drifting out of touch with even Carlisle and Esme for several years. Carlisle mentioned he wasn't even using the Cullen funds; his location and condition were a complete mystery to everyone in the family.

His disappearance was quite painful for Carlisle and Esme, but they were able to take some comfort from their improving relationship with Bella. She had been very touched by the way Carlisle didn't sell her out to Victoria, even at the risk of Esme's life. It went a long way to restoring her trust in the Cullen family and she started to accept them back in her life wholeheartedly. We stayed in New York for several weeks after the attack, allowing everyone to really get to know one another again before we returned to our home.

They had recently relocated to the Chicago area, where Carlisle was taking a break from hands-on medicine in order to work on cancer research. He admitted that he missed the patient interaction, but that he was enjoying the challenge of the laboratory. Esme was teaching an interior design course at a community college and enjoying every minute of it. We were all frequent visitors back and forth, and we unashamedly begged Esme for use of her island on a regular basis.

For the most part, Bella was happy and relaxed around them, but I realized that she might never be totally free of the flashes of pain, distrust, and anxiety that still flared every once in awhile. Despite those occasional setbacks, she had certainly made amazing progress from the defensive, shuttered young woman I had bumped into all those years ago. Of course, Charlotte and Peter were a large part of the reason Bella had come so far.

They remained our closest friends and we continued to spend most of our time living together. We tended to travel separately, but the Montana house was "home" to all of us, and Peter and Char were truly our family. I still enjoyed watching Bella interact with Peter just as true siblings would, their affection for each other frequently morphing into aggravation and then back again. Charlotte was a real sister to Bella, accepting her unconditionally for who she was. Although they were two very different women, they were very good friends. They enjoyed keeping each other entertained during happy times and relied on each other for support during difficult periods.

I wasn't surprised at Bella and Char's closeness, but I was downright shocked at the relationship that had developed between Bella and Rosalie. The two had progressed from cautious respect for each other to outright affection. They talked on the phone daily and visited each other no less than every other month. Rose was teaching Bella engines and had recently gotten her into motorcycles, which I was really enjoying myself. We had taken several long motorcycle trips with Rose and Emmett and had another one planned as soon as we returned from Isle Esme, assuming they could tear themselves away from their successful custom motorcycle business.

I was drawn back to the present by the sound of Bella's voice. "You two are indecent," she called down to the beach in a teasing tone. "Get a room!"

Seconds later, Edward stepped from the beach onto the patio, his tousled hair as striking as ever. His face, however, was completely altered from the Edward I had lived with for all those year. His expression was relaxed and open, in a way that it had never been before. He walked over to the beach shower and quickly sprayed the sand off his feet, smiling over his shoulder as the reason for his happiness jogged up from the beach and scooped Bella off her feet to twirl her around.

"Stop it, Andy," she giggled. "Edward's the one who wants swept off his feet! I'm low maintenance!"

"Hey," Edward protested with a laugh. "I am not high maintenance!"

Andy set Bella down and met Edward halfway to the shower. "Yes you are," he corrected gently before pulling Edward close for a deep kiss. "You're worth the effort though."

Watching the two of them together, I remembered the shock I'd felt when Edward showed up at our Montana home with a vampire Andy in tow. I literally though Bella was going to light his ass on fire first and ask questions later. Fortunately, Andy stepped in to calm her down and gave us the abridged version of the story.

After separating from the rest of the Cullens, Edward had returned to feeding off humans as he struggled with the loss of his mind reading ability and the changes within his vampire family. One cold night on a deserted beach on Long Island, he came across Andy who had just returned to New York after the death of his grandmother.

Edward went in for the kill, but stopped at the last second, struck by the sad peace on Andy's face. Andy, feeling compassion for the agony in Edward's red eyes, inexplicably whispered, "It's okay," despite the fact that he could tell Edward meant him harm. Edward was so shocked at his words that he just froze. Andy calmly mentioned the fact that he had seen someone like Edward before, piquing Edward's interest.

They sat together on the cold, wet beach and began talking. Their conversation continued for days, and it didn't take much longer than that for them to realize they were made for each other. Edward didn't hesitate at all to change Andy and teach him the "vegetarian" lifestyle, and they had been together ever since.

Surprisingly, Edward didn't fall apart at the fact that he had fallen in love with a man. After all of the pain he put Bella through with his outdated morals, I was amazed how easily he accepted himself and the love he shared with Andy. Andy was a great influence on Edward. He had conquered his battle with addiction and became a peaceful and sensible man. He didn't overreact when Edward got emo and he taught Edward not to take himself so seriously.

Bella actually accepted this turn of events better than I expected, thanks to Andy. His easy going attitude did a lot to smooth the way for Bella and Edward to become friends. He never judged Bella for her resentment toward Edward and he also helped Edward to actually listen to Bella instead of criticizing her. Things gradually improved between the two of them, until we eventually reached the point of being able to be in the same space for days and then weeks at a time.

Interestingly, since his return into our lives, Edward had never mentioned attempting to remove the block on his mind reading. I was glad to know that Bella's theory was correct, and that taking away Edward's ability was truly a gift rather than a punishment.

Malcolm claimed he wasn't surprised at the staying power of the block, insisting that when he felt like something would work, it worked. He and Alice were doing well. Alice had given up high school and was currently taking the fashion world by storm, although she played the artistic recluse since her stature and hair made her so recognizable.

Malcolm still preferred wandering to being settled in one location, but they made their lives work with a combination of technology and compromise. It was amazing and refreshing to see Alice allowing someone else to participate in making decisions. We were gradually starting to spend more time with them as Bella began to warm up to Alice again, and truly forgive her for the way she had treated us. When I was around them, I could feel their complete happiness, and I was certain that Alice didn't miss her foresight at all.

I laughed as Bella rolled her eyes at Edward and Andy's embrace. Without a word, they stumbled toward the house, their lips still locked tightly together. Bella giggled and I relished the sight of her relaxed and happy expression. She made her way over to the pool and dove in gracefully, the warm evening sun sparkling off both her body and the water.

Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I took a few quick steps and dove in to join her, swimming up behind her under the water. She turned slightly and reached back with one hand so that our fingertips met, generating the peace I felt only with her touch. I smiled as she tugged me gently forward so that we were face to face. I gazed down into her beautiful amber eyes, unspeakably grateful that she was with me.

As usual, her emotions were closed to me, a welcome pocket of peace from the volatile feelings I was usually subjected to. I had found her resistance to my ability frustrating early in our relationship, but over the years, I had grown adept at reading her expressions and movements, to the point that I usually knew what she was feeling even without experiencing her emotions myself. She often relaxed her shield so that I could experience her love, but I knew she made a conscious effort to keep her more negative emotions hidden from me.

"You've been awfully quiet," she said with a questioning smile. "Anything wrong?"

"Not a thing," I reassured her. "Just taking a minute to think about how we got here."

"Mmmmm, deep thoughts for such a pretty head," she said huskily, putting her hands on my shoulders to pull herself up high enough to kiss me.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her body close to mine as I enjoyed the sensation of her mouth on mine. Our kisses were soft, slow and deep, and by the time we separated my dick was hard and throbbing. I held her a small distance away so that I could tug her bikini top down, exposing her perfect breasts.

She lay back into the water, bringing her left nipple within easy reach of my mouth. I quickly leaned forward and took it between my teeth, grazing it gently without breaking the skin before sucking in earnest. She moaned in pleasure and I began to dribble water from my fingertip onto the other nipple.

She whispered my name and I quickly slipped my hand inside her bikini bottom, finding her slick folds. I pinched her hard little clit and continued sucking on her nipple, enjoying the mewling sounds she was making.

Grateful for the fact that her bikini bottom tied on, I quickly yanked it off and worked my board shorts down. Leaning back against the side of the pool, I pulled her closer to me and slowly lowered her onto my dick. We locked eyes as I slid home inside her.

I began to thrust slowly and put my hands on her tiny waist, lifting her up and down to meet my movements. I kept the pace as slow as our kiss had been, enjoying the expression on Bella's face as our passion built slowly. The movement of the water around us and the extra buoyancy it provided added new dimensions to the experience.

I watched her face as she fell over the edge, my own climax following seconds later. Being connected to her this way was no less powerful now than it was the first time we had consummated our relationship. Less than a minute later, we giggled quietly as the sounds of Edward and Andy climaxing together drifted out of their open window.

"Do you think they heard us?" Bella asked with a blush as we separated so she could replace her bikini while I slipped my trunks back on.

"Baby, they may have been watching," I teased, only half joking. Andy's emotions were pretty neutral around Bella, but I frequently felt Edward projecting lust when she was around. I was shocked when I felt a flash of desire from her at my words.

"You like the idea of them watching, don't you," I growled playfully, tugging her back into my arms and filing this knowledge away for later use. "My little exhibitionist," I sighed, leaning in to kiss her softly again. Bella relaxed herself, allowing me to feel the completion and happiness she was experiencing as we embraced.

Eventually, we separated and she turned around, leaning back against my chest. My thoughts returned to the past and our journey to this time and place. My existence had been full of difficult experiences, some of them downright horrifying, but I was struck by the fact that sometimes the best things in life come from surviving the worst things in life. I knew without asking that Bella felt the same way. Despite the hardships we had each suffered, we wouldn't change anything that led us to this moment.

**AN- I feel that weird mixture of joy and sadness as this story comes to an end. Writing it and completing it gives me such a feeling of accomplishment, but I'll miss these two so much! I would like to thank every single person who has joined me on this journey, whether it was through reading, reviewing, chatting, or all of the above! **

**When I logged onto fanfiction the first time, I had no idea that it would lead me to the friendships I have found here. Mynxi-my beta, my friend, my advisor- you are an amazing woman that I am grateful to count among my friends. Thank you for everything you do for me, in fic life and in real life. Nics- I look forward to your e-mails every day! You make the short bus the place to be! My Team Malcolm girls- thanks for all of your help! Ready for the Alice and Malcolm outtake?**

**Special thanks to roon0 for sending me recommended reading lists, **_**complete with links!**_** You can't imagine the temptation! I'm supposed to be working on a chapter, and then here she comes with a dozen stories I just **_**have **_**to check out, right at the tip of my fingers, lol! Check out her profile if you're in need of good fics. Her favorites list is as good as a library, and she has really good taste!**

**Don't forget, if want to read what my dirty alter ego comes up with, go put heavilysalacious on alert here on fanfic. TWCS won't show the account until I post something on it, so I will put an AN under the Outtakes from AMCE when I post the first story under the new name.**

**Love you all!**

**heavy**


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